Tag Archives: decisions

22

Thinking About Positive Thoughts

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positive thought“Every good thing begins with one positive thought.” ~Bryant Mcgill

Do you realize any small, minuscule, infinitesimal positive thoughts you entertain in your head could lead to great things in your life?  Our thoughts build on themselves, adding momentum to whatever you create.  They remind me of being a kid and building a snowman. You start with a small round ball that easily fits in the hands of the smallest of children. Then you put it on the ground covered in snow and roll it along. The ball will grow in size as long as you can find the power to push it along. Soon you have created a snowball that is so big it is difficult to pick up. You need three of these snowballs to create a decent snowman.  carefully placing each on top of the other and decorating it in the fashion you choose

That is the way of our thoughts. As we move them around, they collect more of the same charge of energy you used to create it, and soon your little thought has transformed into an action, which can be duplicated by others, and soon it can’t be stopped. You are the potential catalyst for all good things that happen in the world, and of course, you can be a part of the negative aspects.  We each decide how our thoughts will infect the world around us in every small moment.  Does the snowman you are building wear a smile or a frown?

Positive Thinking

positive thought
Like a snowball rolling down a hill, your positive thought can grow to enormous size! Choose your small thoughts carefully. They can destroy or create the world.

So what does it mean to have to think more positively?  Every second of each day, there is a choice that all people have regarding the thoughts they entertain. I have heard the average person has about 70,000 thoughts a day. Our minds are constantly creating ideas, opinions, and interpretations based on our experience in the world. Thinking positively is a choice somebody has to make; we all choose this course, or we choose to be negative.  It isn’t anybody else’s fault. You choose the thoughts of love over fear, and you are on your way to a positive mind frame.

To be more specific about these choices, there are choices of love over hate, laughter over crying, creating over destroying, perseverance over quitting, praise rather than gossip, healing thoughts and actions over those that hurt another or yourself, giving rather than taking, action over procrastination, growth over stagnation, or choose to live rather than to exist.  Each favorable decision will allow for your energy to grow in either direction. Positive or negative, it is all up to you, and the most minor positive thought can lead to at least one small good thing. As with all things, there is a possibility of growth, just like the snowball.  This can be created in either direction, again chosen by you alone.

What Are You Growing Today?

So the challenge for you today is to look at the thoughts you are entertaining. Where do they fall on the chart, positive or negative? Our thoughts lead positive thoughtto words that lead to actions that lead to the reality we are experiencing. Look at your thoughts critically and ask: Is this a thought I would like to grow? If it isn’t, it is time to make a different choice. Our future is created in every choice of thought we make today, at this moment.

We are responsible for the reality we create through our thoughts and our personal energy. Are your snowballs made of white clean snow containing all of life’s potential? Or do they contain the dirt and grime of negative thoughts brought on by negativity?  Life is created through energy, and you, yes, you, play a part in charge of the energy around you in your life and how others in your life experience because of you. Positive attracts positive, and negative attracts the same.  So the snowball you hold in your hand at the beginning will determine the type of snowman you are left with at the end. You are responsible for that in all moments of your life. What are you building? Watch your thoughts.

Every good thing begins with one positive thought.  Keep in mind that the reverse is also true.

“Change your thoughts, and you can change your world.” –Norman Vincent Peale

“There is only one corner of the universe, you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” –Aldous Huxley.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” –Alice Walker.

 “You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.” –Rachel Hollis.

“If you say you can or you can’t, you are right either way.” –Henry Ford

22

Looking for You

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Do you Let Your True Self Shine?

Do You Know?
Do You Know?

I have had to pause to ask myself about my path quite often. What makes each of us unique? Let me tell you what I think. Each of us is born with unique talent or skill that is ours alone. It is given to us at birth, and we need only to follow it to find our purpose in life.

Life isn’t ever that easy, though. From the moment we come into the world, we are met with limits and expectations from others.

Sometimes the limits come from a place of love, like a parent guiding their child safely, and sometimes they come from a much darker experience.

It matters little where the limits come from, and they cause us to be ashamed of who we are and what talent we have.

These “would have’s” and “should have’s” of life make you shy away from your true self, pretending to be something more acceptable. Some who experience abuse early on in life never really get to see their authentic self, making it much harder to find.

Looking For Me

Are You Looking For Me?
Are You Looking For Me?

I have been hot on the trail of my authentic self for much of the past two years. It has been a slow and sometimes scary chase. It all began almost two years ago.

When I realized that I didn’t know anything about life, I was not happy, and like many people hadn’t been happy in a long time.

There had been moments of extreme happiness, and I enjoyed people, but the inner feeling of joy escaped me. I had resigned myself to think that this was how you felt in life, empty and bored.

I was waiting for the clock to run out. However, life had other thoughts, and events reminded me that I wasn’t always this way.

Dreams were a vital part of my youth. My imagination guided me in almost every adventure I had every day, and I dreamed of everything from playing for the Red Sox to racing horses.

I believed that everything that I thought of could happen, and it was just a matter of getting a little older for me to do all of those things. That person was my authentic self, the true me. I was gifted with the ability to dream vividly, and it seemed life was determined to make me forget that.

The Cover-Up

cover upOver the years, the feelings of trying to fit in, not rock the boat, and be “normal” made those thoughts move from the front to the back of my mind.

Finally, they were forgotten, neglected, and abandoned as I got older. I was an adult, and there was no place for dreaming in adulthood.

It was like knowing a secret that you couldn’t remember, but you knew it was a good thing, and if you could connect with it, then all would be well.

Life, however, moves in, and the job, the relationships, and the expectations all jump on top of you and push that authentic identity far back into your memory and may never let it out. Like you are asleep and can’t wake up.

Waking Up

wake upI am not unique because I think others have gone through some traumatic events and are shocked by the malaise of life.

I started to remember it piece by piece, and it is still coming back to me. Like waking from a slumber, you begin to experience life differently.

Each of us is born with an authentic self with abilities meant for us alone. Some people are right to them their whole lives, and others never see their authentic selves again.

Most people spend their early life forgetting and the second part of their life trying to remember. It doesn’t matter who you are or what age you are; there is a unique person inside you that is a mere alarm clock ringing from waking up.

Do you know your authentic self?

“Authenticity starts in the heart.” Brian D’Angelo

“Authenticity over everything.” Anonymous

“If you’re your authentic self, you have no competition.” Anonymous

“Don’t trade your authenticity for approval.” Anonymous

“Honesty and authenticity are a big deal for me.” Scarlett Thomas

“Authenticity: The courage to be yourself.” Anonymous

“Be fearlessly authentic.” Anonymous

“Authenticity is magnetic.” Anonymous

 

22

The Numbers

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challenges-make-life-interesting

Age is just a number. However, some numbers are much more intimidating than others, and turning 50 is one. It happened to me a few years ago and to a friend of mine just this week.

To me, at this milestone, I have conflicting feelings. I assume all people are the same. I have fears and insecurities about life, just as I did when I turned 40, 30, 20, or even 10. Hopefully, I have developed tools and learned lessons that have helped me positively navigate the aging process—embracing the experience. Reflection is one of the tools that I use to understand the value of an incident. To take that lesson into living my life every day.

Challenges

Life is designed to bring a series of challenges we all have to navigate. Each challenge presents us with choices. Choices challenges and choicesthat define our lives. A problem may overwhelm us, crush us, and destroy our confidence if we allow them to. However, there is always another choice. To seek the better version of ourselves and choose to rise and live our lives in a way that reflects the best version of the living. These choices we have been making from the beginning and will continue to build until we reach the inevitable end. The challenges we face and the choices we make about them will dictate the experience of our lives.

People tend to keep their most painful lessons to themselves. This secrecy is to keep up a perception that we are in control. Handling all events efficiently and with style. In Reality, all people are just making it up as they go. It is self-delusion, and a person believes they understand it all. There is always more, no matter how much one learns, observes, and understands. The vast undiscovered iceberg of knowledge is still floating toward us undiscovered. There is always something else to learn and more growth to achieve.

Growth

To be your best is the ultimate goal of life. Not to accumulate a large cache of material possessions but to become the best version of yourself. That is where the challenges come in. Without change, things become stagnant.

growth is constant
The opportunity for growth is constant.

Often we become so comfortable in life, just the prospect of change is tremendously scary.

Reflection and growth can only come when challenged and forced to take in new information and experiences. Life is a gift, and you need to grow to get the most out of it. The alternative is to shrink a little each day until your gs are challenging to remember and your passion has faded.

Fortunately, it is never too late to recapture the passion for your dream. Your creativity is still there, dormant underneath all of the routine, predictability, and conforming expectation behavior. It is just waiting for you to remember. The sad thing is that many will not remember, but you decide your destiny.

You choose your path and direction. You allow life’s experience to push you. Will you fight or flee? Will you stand proud or hide in shame? Only you can decide.

I have turned 50  and feel I am only at the beginning of things. I am ready for the growth and the challenge of life. I look forward to it, and I embrace it. Regardless of your age, I wonder how you face life.

“There must be a goal at every stage of life! There must be a goal!” – Maggie Kuhn

“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength” – Betty Friedan

“This is a youth-oriented society, and the joke is on them because youth is a disease from which we all recover.” – Dorothy Fuldheim

“Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” – Franz Kafka 

“You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they grow older.” -Anouk Aimee

 

21

Choices

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The-Choice-Is-Yours_Theme_Pastor-Steve-McCartt-Family-Worship-Center-Florence_Web-930x523In every moment, we have the power to create all our experiences in life, and they are created by our exercising the power of choice. There are choices to make in all things, and the results of these choices will lead to the nature of your experience. It applies to everything and everybody. Our choices define our lives.

Simple choices

It all begins with simple decisions in life. Should I sleep in an extra 10 minutes? Or Should I get up and choice 33attack the day? This choice could make a difference in what you experience in a small way or a large one. The routine decisions we make each day have the potential to have a significant impact on our lives. If we choose to take a specific route to work or perform a particular task, which leads to a physical injury, we have decided to put ourselves in that situation.

It is also a choice to look at our responsibility for things. We are all going to experience things that are not so great in life. Taking responsibility for our decisions can be difficult, but once you do, leaving almost any problem behind and being proactive in your actions will come naturally.

It’s all How You React

Some things in life happen which we have no absolute control over. There are crimes choices 22committed against people’s will all the time. Our choices were not to be a part of that, but we are, and our options start when we become involved. It doesn’t matter if we are involved in a flood, a crime, or the breakup in a relationship. Our choices are always ours from the moment we become involved. How you choose to react is, in fact, your personal decision. Does it make you healthier? Or Does it destroy you?

How you react to all of your experiences are going to define your life. We build walls of separation to make sure that we are never vulnerable to being hurt again. Eventually, though the walls of separation become so many, it cannot be easy to connect in any natural way at all. So it is time to make a choice, drop the barriers, or keep them up. If you are lonely, the obstacles that you have created are going to be the reason. It is hard to find somebody to spend time with, let alone one who can manage the gymnastics necessary to get over and through the barriers, you have built around yourself. Drop them; it will be much easier.

Power in Vulnerability

When the barriers we have built to protect us drop, of course, there is a vulnerability there. It is our choices1choice to be vulnerable and to be at risk of being hurt. All games involve risk; there is a risk of staying inside your barriers and dropping your resistance to change.

There is a risk in all situations in life, and being open enough to accept whatever comes your way may lead to the greatest reward. It is all up to the choices that you make. Being vulnerable is not a bad thing; it is only a thing. To live is to make decisions based on the information we have. Live big and take a chance on your goals or live small and take no chances and live inside your safe cocoon. There is always a chance of pain, but there is still a chance of something greater.

The choice is Always Yours

Choose and live your life!!
Choose and live your life!!

The choices in your life are happening all the time. You decided to read this; now you decide if you listen or agree with any of these thoughts, then what you do about it. Choose to ignore it. Choose to be moved by it. Choose to write a reply. Whatever decision you make, it is yours and yours alone. This choice and every subsequent decision will determine the day that you experience. The option is always and will always be yours and yours alone.

Take responsibility for your choices and allow life to happen. Experience it, and don’t let it destroy you. Let it make you healthy and wise.

“A mountain is composed of tiny grains of earth. The ocean is made up of tiny drops of water. Even so, life is but an endless series of little details, actions, speeches, and thoughts. And the consequences whether good or bad of even the least of them are far-reaching.” — Sivananda.

“Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” — William James.

“All around us are the consequences of the most significant technological, and hence cultural, revolution in generations.” — Lawrence Lessig.

“The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly: the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson.

21

Change is Happening

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Here Comes the Change

Accepting changeThere are many ways change occurs in our lives. Sometimes it is quick and jarring, leaving trauma and drama in its wake. These are the changes that make you consider living a different way. Nothing will ever be the same. But more often, change is like a dripping faucet. As each drop slowly accumulates, you never notice until the thing that once was one way is now totally another.  Change is happening to us all day, and Heraclitus was right; it is one of the constants we can always rely on. All we can do is work on our ability to accept change and make choices to roll with it. 

Getting Better or Getting Worse

Each of us is changing every day, and it is important to take stock of ourselves and where we are in life. Each day we are either getting better, or we are getting worse.  Nobody is staying the same. It is impossible. The movement may be minuscule and hard to see, but you move in one direction or the accepting changeother each day.  That makes it important to know exactly where you are in all areas of your life, physically, spiritually, mentally, or financially so that you can understand your progress.

Each of us makes decisions both large and small, which will dictate your direction. Do I go to the gym or skip today? Do I spend money on that new pair of shoes or not? Do I practice kindness or not? Do I participate in gossip or not? All of these and many more choices are made by you each day, and the only person responsible for them is you. You are in control of your destiny and determine if you are getting better or getting worse.

Accepting Change

Change is so difficult for most of us because we are so attached to our current lives. Even if things are not perfect and things are changing for the better, it is our instinct to resist because deep down, we are afraid that a change may make things worse.  It may not be perfect now, and I may not enjoy my accepting changecircumstances, but at least I can handle them.  Don’t fear the changes that are happening in your life. Let life flow, and it will most often take you to a better place.

If you have a goal and it doesn’t involve your current job, relationship, or the area you live in. You can’t be afraid when life starts moving you in a new direction. All of your dreams and goals will be found by trying something new and accepting the changes that come into your life.  Each new change will teach you a skill and help you become a better, more well-rounded person. Accepting change will allow us to grow. 

Life is full of ups and downs; things will never stay the same, and change is happening every day. Your choices can help dictate the direction of the change that you experience. When the big ones come, a death, the loss of a job, or the ending of a relationship, understand that pain is a part of the process of letting go. It will never be easy because we have attachments to people and situations. Circumstances will come, and they will go, love people as best you can, enjoy each second of all situations because one way or another, it may all be over at any time. 

“The only thing that is constant is change.” ~Heraclitus

 

20

Not Holding On

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Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?047882355_6_xlarge

I think that no matter how far along you have come in life, there are always some things that have stuck with you, and even though you think that you have let go of it, you really haven’t.

To be happy in life and to really enjoy the experiences that I am blessed with every day, there is a constant letting go of perceived slights, whether big or small, from others. Forgive the people, let the act go, and release the negative from your life.

Today I am thinking about the process of how I let things go and what experiences I have to let drift into the ether and cease to be a problem for me. It is easy to say but difficult to do when your emotions become involved, and your thoughts make you perceive someone’s actions as a personal slight.  Letting go and forgiving is hard. Be fearless in your forgiveness. It reflects well on you.  Other people’s poor behavior is their problem.

Forgiving and Letting Go

There is a freedom that comes from truly forgiving someone for hurting you. It doesn’t mean that you condone what they did, like it, or ever want to see it repeated. It simply means that you will no longer let whatever someone else did have any power over you. 

forgive It sounds trivial and overly simple, but it is just that.  Just because it is simple doesn’t mean it is easy.  I know that I let some of my own false crosses become a definition of who I was for a long time, yet I learned in the end that what has happened to you isn’t who you are. It is what happened to you. Who you are is shown by your reaction to the situation.

We are much like any tree in our existence,  a tree goes through all types of different weather, but after it all, the tree is still a tree.   It may have lost some branches and may have a few scars on its trunk, but it is still the same tree before, but with more experience. So you are the same person, just a wiser version.  Of course, most of us would like to do without someone deceiving us, lying to us, or just harming us in one way or another.

You are still the same as you.  Forgiveness and releasing was the process for me to stop blaming the storms of life and accept all responsibility for my own decisions. In the end, I am responsible for the choices I have made—nobody else. So I forgive them and thank them for the lesson.

So what Still Needs to Go?

You know if you still have something to forgive if when you think of a person or a situation, there is a burning feeling inside.  It almost feels like a searing sensation that is brought on simply by thought.  Sometimes you can not feel it but then when something comes to you as a surprise that the burn is still there.

 The Universe has a way of presenting you with things you need to work on without looking too hard.  Today I was on LinkedIn, and there was a suggested contact of someone I used to work with.  I quickly experienced this searing sensation but also realized that it was time to let that anger go.

poetry-picnic-wk-19-forgiveness It was inappropriate and almost shocked me that I still have this strong a reaction to someone who was a representation of a negative experience.   I knew it was really time to let it go.

 I took a moment and forgave the entire situation and then let it go. I am not sure I can help with it anymore.  It sounds easy, and it really is, but it is also hard to really do because we tend to cling to our bad situations. They make tremendous excuses for what ails us.

It is a feeling that is difficult to describe; if you truly forgive and no longer blame anyone else for situations and accept them as situations, then there is no longer anger, fear, hate, or frustration.  Those spaces can be filled with other things that are more positive love, acceptance, understanding, and kindness, to name a few.

Letting Go Of  One

This one I have to let go of. I once had a perfect friend I worked closely with for years, and our relationship did not end well.  He perceived things in me that I do not think were true. I feel I was mistreated by him, who was my most trusted and relied upon friend.

 This was a person whom I looked up to and really relied on.  In good times and bad, there was a friend I could count on.  Yet, the last conversation I had with him was devastating.  I was treated to a barrage of forgiveness-card3accusations and hostility.  I wouldn’t mind that so much, but our relationship was different, I thought.  I walked away from that conversation and have never been so hurt in my life.

To hurt me, I am sure, was the intent because he had perceived a hurt.  I was angry for a long time and have let go of this bit by bit over the years, but finally, I had to let it go once and for all.  I allowed a character flaw in another to control the way I feel. I released it. The harsh words, the confrontation, and the negative feelings are all gone and have no power in my life. I forgive him and send love and understanding to him.

I replace the negative with the love for my brother that I have always felt.  There were about a million times I wanted to talk to him and bury the hatchet, mend the fences, but some things are not meant to be, I guess.

In the end, my philosophy can be summed up pretty shortly, that life is a short ride, and to get the most out of life, you have to be able to process and move past the difficult parts to enjoy the rest of the ride and learn and experience what you have the good fortune to experience.  Love is hard to find in a soul that is worried about revenge and payback.

Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?

Forgive and forget. It may not change the past, but it gives the future a chance.

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.

Forgiving someone is easy, but being able to trust them again is a totally different story.

Remember, when you forgive, you heal, and when you let go, you grow.

Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future. Forgive.

I’ve seen your face before, my friend, but I don’t know if you know who I am.

 

Questions

What I Would Do For You

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Would you break the law to save a loved one?

by Jonathan Hilton   Day 27

3417346270_thumbs_would_you_break_the_law_to_save_a_loved_one_xlargeAre there any depths that most people wouldn’t go to save a loved one in most cases?  Yet this may not be the best philosophy  to follow in many cases, but we do.

 That is the answer that I am going to give, that I would, but  I am not sure that in all cases it is the best thing to do, because the repercussions may ultimately be a negative for the person you love.  Sometimes loving someone is allowing them to learn the hard way.

Health and Physical Harm

I think in the most basic forms, most people wouldn’t hesitate to break the law to protect

I would even watch these guys to save you! These guys are really annoying!
I would even watch these guys to save you! These guys are really annoying!

the physical well being of someone we love, from a spouse, a relative or a child.  That is the easiest one to quantify.

I would break the law to do this, because as important as the law is, it does not mean a thing when you compare it to the value a loved one has in my life.  There is no limit to the length that I would go to do this.  I think of the loved ones that I have lost, due to old age and illness.

 If there was something I could do to save them and keep them in my life longer, it would have been worth it, no question about it.  Unfortunately we are not given this choice very often. Most often we are resigned to accept what fate deals us.

 

Learning the Hard Way

Saving a loved one can come with a heavy price sometimes when it becomes a blurry line of what people need to actually be saved from.

 hard wayIn life we all have to make decisions each and every day all of which come with a corresponding result. Since we made the decisions we are responsible for the result.  Sometimes I think people want to save their loved ones from any kind of “bad experience” at all.

 Even when the decision that led to any trouble was there.  building a line between where a person needs to be saved and where they need to learn is very difficult to do.  Many parents today seem to struggle with this, and that is not a criticism, just an observation.

I am not sure that I would be a good judge of this line or not.   Sometimes a lesson will only sink in when you have to experience the full weight of the choice that you made.

It Hurt But It was Good For Me

In my life I have been fortunate to have people in it who cared about me and in many ways looked out for me to keep me from harm. Yet I was also allowed to learn lessons, on my own.

000000Throughout my development as a human being, I have found that the hardest lesson to learn is that the only person responsible for your actions and the resulting mayhem is you.  Not anybody else, you and you alone.

 You can blame others all that you want, they did this or that was unfair, but in the end the good, bad, the joy or the pain are all laid directly at your own feet.  That lesson needs to be learned by everyone at some point, in order to continue to evolve.

 There is only one way to learn this and you have to let all of your loved ones learn it for themselves. You can be there to support them and help them put the pieces back together but I think you have got to let the lessons be learned.

It could be the Best Thing

Life has a way of giving us experiences that we need to have in order to grow and that is the case for everyone.  Sometimes the choice that we make, seemingly moves us backward.

Yet with the wisdom of time we see that the event or experience we first identified as bad, in the long run it provided us with the motivation or the skills to move to a height we never dreamed was possible before.

 There is a motivation is failure that has been spring boarding people to great heights since the beginning of time. I always hope that I have the wisdom to know the difference between saving and enabling. That is one of the lessons we must all learn in life.

 

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

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