Outliers- a person or thing differing from all other members of a particular group or set.

I have always been an outlier in my life, a person who is different from everyone else. This observation isn’t to say I am any better or worse than anyone else, I just am myself, and that person seems to not quite fit into the molds others so quickly pour themselves into. I have felt something wrong with me for a long time, a shortcoming of intellect or the things I enjoy.  Some people look at my differences and see a weakness that needs to be fixed so I can fit into their ideas of “normal” and find their version of happiness and safety. That would be a crime.  My greatest strength and most valuable commodity are that I am an outlier, and I see the world differently than everybody else. I don’t ask anyone to think like me, speak like me or act like me. I ask only for my true self to be on full display, which differentiates me from others and is my value.

Thoughts of an Outlier

The older I get, the more I learn, and the more I understand, the less I know. But there are a few nuggets of knowledge this outlier has found to be accurate and helpful.  We are all in control of a large part of the reality we experience, and it is done through the beliefs we carry around in our subconscious minds.  What we believe about ourselves and life tells us precisely what types of things we will accept from others and what we expect from the experience. The level of success you will reach and the value you see in yourself are all dictated inside of you.

You can change your programming through a consistent effort of conscious thought and action in your life. It begins by examining how you talk to yourself and noticing what you say to yourself. If you are critical, cruel, judgmental, or unaccepting of who you are on the inside, what chance do you have in the outside world of finding success?  Reworking the inner dialogues, you listen to and your beliefs about yourself will take work but will lead to a version of yourself that can accomplish almost any goal. This outlier believes we are in total control of what we ultimately experience. If it doesn’t make any sense, you have to accept responsibility for whatever it is and change your thoughts and expectations about who you are.

Actions of an Outlier

Actions are the things we do. I have developed a list of things I like to do and experience.  I enjoy time by myself, writing, learning, and thinking about life. But I have found my favorite thing is to have an honest conversation with someone about the things in life, I guess.  Not a debate but a discussion about the validity of my thoughts, where they are weak, where they are stable, and where they are in between. Finding a partner as an intellectual equal is a gold mine of creative juice and thought provocation.

I also think as an outlier. I enjoy creating adventures in close-by places and spending time with another who wants the small things in life. A good meal, a beautiful natural spot, a movie, a concert, time spent just quietly together talking about our hopes and dreams. Finding these adventures in life has been a great find and one I think is unique to me. It seems like people are looking for other things that are more complicated or refuse to see the joy that can come from sharing small thoughts, a stop for ice cream, or hiking a mountain. I know people who look at me, the outlier, as if I am crazy because I am not like them.  I look at them and feel sorry for them, understanding they are limited by their vision and expectation.

Company for an Outlier

Just being an outlier, by definition, is going to involve some lonely moments. You are not like the whole group, and although I am OK with the way it is, there are moments when you wish there were more companies. When a company comes, it is delightful and painful to realize the potential fellow outlier was a fake—just stopping by to see how you lived because it looked interesting.  But then they retreat into the comfort of society.

You have no choice here because you are what you are, even if the person judging you is someone you care about.  The judgment is like all others, a reflection of themselves, not of you. They must live with that, and you have to be true to yourself and be the best person you can be.  This outlier believes in honest and open communication. If I do something, I am going to explain why. That is the responsible thing to do if you care about someone. Anything else reveals a character flaw that will negatively affect your life until you rectify it.  I have carried many mistakes out into the edges of my existence, allowing them to change me.

Become an Outlier

I will encourage you to find your path in the world that is different from those walked by any others.  I know people who pay verbal homage to this idea but in action don’t follow through; their lives are empty and lost. They wish they had the strength to become a real outlier, but the leash of their programming has them caught entirely in their little lives. No matter how big their dreams are, they will never take the steps necessary to achieve them because, deep down, they think being an outlier is too dangerous and wrong.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Thinking differently, and acting uniquely like yourself is the most critical decision you can make. Finding your style can be hard to do and open you up to the judgment of others, but that is where greatness comes from and a real contribution to the world.  Become an outlier today and be yourself; you are the only person you can be.  It will start with being more conscious of the thoughts you think, the words you speak, and your actions.  Look around and see just how far from the group you have strayed and know that it is precisely where you need to be, an outlier. I am the outlier.

“Achievement is talent plus preparation. The problem with this view is that the closer psychologists look at the careers of the gifted, the smaller the role innate talent seems to play, and the bigger the role preparation seems to play.”

“Hard work is a prison sentence only if it does not have meaning. Once it does, it becomes the kind of thing that makes you grab your wife around the waist and dance a jig.”

“Hard work is only a prison sentence when you lack motivation.”

“Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.”