Tag Archives: Experiences

22

Some Brainy Thoughts

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Getting to Know Your Brain

It is an irony of life that we spend so much time thinking but very little time examining the mechanism which allows these thoughts to enter our existence.

The brain has been your constant companion throughout life, and its abilities to allow you to comprehend the good or bad in a situation dictate your moods, words, and actions in all cases you are facing. The brain is in continual production of thought, and there are some things we can look at to understand how the brain’s function occurs for us. Our evolution as humans has left us with thought patterns that have encouraged survival but not happiness over thousands of years. Those two things do not have to be mutually exclusive. Evaluating your brain and the thoughts it creates about your life and its situations will lead to greater happiness. Look for the ideas of separations, stabilizing environments, and the practice of approaching opportunities and avoiding threats.

Separations

People look to maintain separation from the world and others because of the appearance of safety. To be reliant on only yourself leaves no room for another person to cause you any harm. We see ourselves as unique individuals separated from all others, but is that true? There is a multitude of ways that we are obviously.

There are lots of ways we separate ourselves and our identities. Sometimes we need fences, and sometimes we need our thoughts.

Connected to the world and dependent upon it for social interaction, food sources, more significant learning, growth, understanding, and goods/services. When you see this apparent contradiction, you may feel isolated, alienated, overwhelmed, or as if you are in a struggle against everything.

Accepting that we are indeed dependent and interconnected with the world around us and other people in the world is a frightening concept. Still, you live in a delusion when you deny this or choose not to think about it. From the simple dependency on oxygen to breathe, we are connected. Many of these types of connections exist, and they are honest and vital. To see separation as reality is the mind playing an uncomfortable and untruthful trick on you. It is the work of an out-of-control ego seeking to maintain your identity.

Seeking Stability

When you become unstable in your body, mind, or relationships, your brain will produce signals of threat and impending pain. Your mind works to bring you back to stability.   This happens whenever we experience any change because differences get the unknown. It may be better, but it may be worse. That is uncomfortable for the survival instinct and people because life is continual.

Seeking stability in a world that is constantly changing is a difficult challenge.

Changing and will be until the day it ends. Learning to see your connections to the world and reliance upon others will allow you to look at your thoughts and notice what they are causing you to feel. You can then start to understand your emotions and have a chance to control them rather than the other way around.

The balancing act is tricky to accomplish because all of the factors in our lives are constantly experiencing change. So nothing is ever the same for long. Physically, mentally, spiritually, economically, and intellectually we are changing. With each new experience, we have to adjust our previous thoughts and beliefs to the further information coming to us. This uncomfortable feeling of constant evaluation feels like a threat. Even though, in the long run, the changes may prove good for us.

Opportunities and Threats

All of us naturally look for areas of opportunity to embrace and threats to avoid. Neutral things we just let drift away. Your brain is responsible for your feelings for every experience and how it is painted, opportunity, threat, or neutral. Many believe the human mind has a negativity bias and pays far greater attention to the negative experience than they deserve. This will

Avoiding real threats is a smart move, but often we give too much power to threats that don’t deserve it.

Create apprehension and cynicism about the things we face in life.

Often it seems the brain builds up both pleasant and unpleasant experiences so that we are chasing very hard after things that bring minimal pleasure and hide away from painful things that are exaggerated in danger or not even real. Most worry is this way. Strict attachments to outcomes are examples of building things up on the positive, and worry results from building up the negative. Each will cause pain, and both are created inside your brain.

Your brain is your constant companion throughout life, and it is a powerful tool that can help you solve problems and even help create things in your life. But you have to understand that your brain, as powerful as it is, is not you. You are the person behind the brain. You can watch your thoughts like an old-fashioned stock ticker. Many believe that their brain is their identity when it is not. It is just a means to an end. Think about that for a minute.

I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.—Arthur Conan Doyle

That’s your best friend and your worst enemy – your brain.–Fred Durst

Don’t let your brain interfere with your heart.    —Albert Einstein

The human brain is probably one of the most complex single objects on the face of the earth; I think it is, quite honestly. —Bill Viola

The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain.-  Daniel Goleman

The brain is the organ of destiny. It holds within its humming mechanism secrets that will determine the future of the human race. —-Wilder Penfield

 

21

Lessons of Pain

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Few teachers in my life haveledarning is a gift gotten my attention and held on to it quite like pain. When you are in pain, there is no escaping the message. Pain is a neurological phenomenon that is vital to let us know something is wrong. It could be physically bad or mentally wrong, but either way, pain lets you know that something must change. Without exception, the pain ahas changed me with each visit it has made to my life.

Pain is Temporary; Learning is Forever

Rarely is the anxiety a permanent condition; more often than not, it is a temporary warning sign that something is not quite right. There may be some cases where arrow painchronic pain persists; fortunately, I have never experienced this. Physical pain exists when you hurt your body somehow, and although unpleasant, we can heal it with time, therapy, and treatment. The presence of physical pain has caused you to change your outlook on life and your daily physical activities. This is true of a broken bone or a heart attack. The pain will change you permanently and force you to look for solutions to end it as quickly as possible forever.

Emotional or spiritual pain is something else. It is caused by the experiences we have and how they are registered in the mind. All people have felt heartbreak to some degree or another. It is a mental condition
that causes pain inside your emotional heart. This pain is calling out to be dealt with, but often it is too intense to handle appropriately. Many try to medicate themselves through drugs and alcohol, but when the effect wears off, the pain is still there, seeking to be dealt with in a loving and caring manner. The scars that we leave behind are often major signposts in our lives and dictate our future experiences.

It becomes the fear of the pain, even more than the pain, that dictates our actions to self-medicate or behave poorly to others. Hiding from the pain or preemptively eliminating the opportunity for the pain to affect us. Once fear is faced, it will lose its power over us.

This type of pain has, at times, led to many defining moments in my life. From overcoming monumental losses of love. To appreciate the caring and kindness that others display in their dealings with people. If life went along without pain as a teacher, many experiences wouldn’t carry the message.

The value of relationships might be to understand when they are right and to appreciate those moments. We are not guaranteed anything in life, only the moment we are currently experiencing. Pain allows us to live in this moment and focus on the experience we are in right now. Understanding that it will pass and that you have just taken a vital, although painful step, down the road to wisdom, understanding, and, of course, growth.

buddha-quotes-about-life-buddha-quotes-quotes-pictures-quotes-pictures-updated-daily-34593tumblr_mm72n2XIkL1s9u3jeo1_500Sometimes pain can seem like a friend to some. It allows them to know that they are still alive and can feel. If the loss of any relationship is bothering you, pain can always be the sure connection to the one who has been lost.

I have carried the pain further than I had to to keep the connection. In the end, though, the pain taught its lesson and moved on. I had learned, changed, and in most cases, grown as an individual with a capacity to love more for going through it. Although, as I would also tell you, I wouldn’t recommend the entire experience to anyone. Although pain is a proficient educator, the methodology leaves a lot to be desired.

“Sit with the pain until it passes, and you will be calmer for the next one.”   Naval Ravikant

“Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.”-   Fight Club

“Adversity is the first path to truth.”-  Lord Byron

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.” –  Sophocles

21

Confident

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Being Confident In Life Is a Choice

Although I have trouble sometimes with certain concepts, one thing has confidence-is-a-choice-to-act-or-to-do-or-to-decide-quote-1become abundantly clear. Being Confident in life is a choice.

Confidence stems from the conscious decision to accept yourself for what you are and to not let your weaknesses rule over your strengths. Can it be that simple? The answer is a loud and emphatic YES!

 

Let’s face it, we are all human beings, and all of us are constructed with a list of strengths and weaknesses to take advantage of or overcome. Everybody is in the same boat; there is nobody exempt.

But not everybody looks at the boat the same way. There is a definite attitude that those who become successful carry and those who fail to wear a badge. It all comes down to the choice each individual makes about how to look at things. One person sees an insurmountable obstacle, and another sees a great opportunity. The perspective is different, but the sightseeing is the same.

How to Make Sure You Fail

If I want to ensure that I fail and lack confidence, I will focus on my mistakes, weaknesses, and shortcomings. Rather than looking at them for what they are, these issues become my focus, learning experiences that allow you to gain valuable information about yourself, your life, and the world around you.

If you waste your time berating yourself for past mistakes, you will miss the future that is right in front of you. There are more than enough people out there that will gladly point out your shortcomings if you listen to them.

If you focus on the fact that yes, that was a mistake, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience, what exciting opportunities does this present for me? Then you are on your way to success because it is all just a choice anyway.

Look at it. Yes. So. It happened. That’s life. Get over it.

confidence is a choice
Confidence Is A Choice

Things happen to us all. These experiences are woven into the fabric that is who we are.

Some of these experiences have been great; some have been o.k. And some have been downright awful. That is the deal with life, it isn’t always going to be perfect, and you are never really in control of any of it.

You are one hundred percent in control of how you react to everything, how you let it affect your life, and how you feel about yourself. Your level of confidence springs from this thought pattern and affects your self-esteem.

When an experience occurs, you will do well to look at the event and understand it. You lost a job, or a relationship ended. Why did it end? What growth opportunities did this present to you?

What could you do about it? Accept it because it happened. You can long for the past or feel sick over the loss, but in the end, you are going to end up in the same place, either you are going to choose to accept it and move on with confidence is a choiceyour life, or not accept it and decide never to be happy or prosperous again.

If you were at an amusement park and got on a ride, you are stuck on that ride until it is over. You have the choice to enjoy it or not. To choose not to enjoy the journey seems like a waste of time, but many people take this option every day.

The ride will eventually end; you can’t go back to the beginning and experience the same thing exactly. You can try, but every time the trip will seem a little bit different.

Every experience in life is like that. The ride is life, and you are on it, whether you enjoy it or not. There will be twists and turns, ups and downs, good and bad, that we will all experience. And at some point, that experience is going to end.

Dealing with these things in a generally positive way is the first step toward feeling good about yourself and becoming more confident. Don’t let bad experiences define who you are, get over them and see what they have taught you about yourself, others, and the world around you.

You Control What You Think

confidence is a choiceYou can control all of your thoughts about everything that you experience. If you don’t control what you think, then somebody else will.

Be confident in yourself and know that you have abilities and talents that make you unique and one of a kind. The world would not be quite what it is if you weren’t in it.

Let’s say that you are in a crowded restaurant; you stand up to go to the restroom, and right in front of everyone, you knock your plate on the floor. It smashed into a million pieces and made a mess.

How you think at that moment defines how you feel about yourself. A person who is comfortable with themselves might react with thoughts like this, “Wow, that was clumsy! I just made a mess. I am sure everyone here has made a mess before. I have probably given them a great story to tell. I will help clean this mess up. I don’t know any of these people anyway. ”

Another way to react would be, “God, that was such a stupid, idiotic thing to do, and I am worthless and stupid and ignorant and no good and why am I like this and God I hate being me and when will I ever learn……..etc.” You can see the difference. If you choose the self-loathing path, is it any wonder that you are not happy?

The only person in the world who can control what you really think about in any situation is you. If you choose to delve into unhealthy, self-defeating attitudes, that is the surest way to be miserable I can think of at this moment.

The good news is that choosing healthy self-promoting thoughts is just as easy, anyone can do it, and it is the pathway to feeling great every day. The most significant thing is that you have total control of your thoughts, you can’t blame anybody else, you can’t say that you “got a raw deal,” you are the maker of your dreams, and you will have to live with them no matter which type of thought you choose.

“Noble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way.”- Sheri L. Dew

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”- Theodore Roosevelt

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.― Lao Tzu

Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it. ― Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

Philosophy

Build Your Adventure Pack

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“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

Why We Need Adventure Packs

My adventure Pack
My Adventure Pack

In a conversation with a friend, they mentioned that they always kept a pack of items in their vehicle, just in case there was a cause to go on an adventure that day.  It got me to thinking that each of us should create our own “Adventure Packs” for whatever each day might bring us.  There are many things that you could do every day to make your life more of an experience if you wanted to.  I figured that why not set the tone and expect something adventurous by carrying an adventure pack, just in case.  Think of all of the adventures you might be missing out on just by not having one. The pack doesn’t have to be fancy or anything, it can just be a bag with a few of the necessities an adventurer might need.   I think there are many different experiences that can qualify as adventures, here is a short list of adventures you might have.

Physical Adventures Are Good For You And Fun

physical adventure with an adventure pack
My pack is always ready.

These are the most prevalent kind of adventures, I think, the ones that take you somewhere, on a hike, or a walk, or around the bend to see what is there.  In your daily activities, you might see a road that you wanted to walk down, or even a park you wanted to visit, to see what was there.  What is stopping you? If you have an adventure pack with a bottle of water, sun screen, a light jacket, then you will be ready for this type of excursion.  The benefits of these types of activities are improved health which is good for your heart, your mind and your soul.  The difference between a thought and an experience is action, so don’t be afraid to take that action step. Make sure you keep a snack in your adventure pack so that you will always have the energy to carry out the adventure in front of you.

Social Adventures Good For Your Mind

adventure pack for fun
Adventure packs are light weight and make you smile

These are the ones that involve getting together with someone in a social situation, going for coffee or breakfast just for the sake of socialization.  Your adventure pack doesn’t even need to have much in it to carry on this type of excitement.  If you have a strong desire to connect then you really don’t need to do anything other than a little money to pay for whatever you eat.  Most often when you visit with old friends you will have revelations and memories about yourself and them that you had forgotten a long time ago. Life is a can be a long road and it is a much happier experience when you travel it with friends. So always keep a little extra cash in your adventure pack, just in case the opportunity to connect comes up.

Simple Things which are Great

There are a bunch of simple adventures that you can experience with just a little bit of energy and imagination.  On any clear night, you have access to one of the grandest adventures on earth, the night sky.  When you make the effort to get where the lights of civilization are not a factor you can view the stars and any time you do this, you can’t help but be swept up in the power and wonder of the vastness of space.  Each star billions of miles away has a story, and you are just a very small and insignificant spec to whatever story is happening there.  You can also have the same kind of adventures at any natural wonder, a river, a lake or the ocean.  You will have to travel with your adventure pack to get to these locations most likely, but keep a map in your adventure pack and you will never get lost on your journey.

Doing Something for Others

adventure pack for visiting
My pack usually has enough to share, if not we’ll make due.

Having an adventure pack handy should allow you the freedom to help someone else.  There are many people who don’t really need anything other than a visit and a kind word.  This adventure is very low-cost and will never be out of demand.  If you don’t know who needs this type of adventure from you, look around.  There are hospitals and nursing homes with people in them who would like nothing more than a friend to talk to and share their stories with.  This is why it is always important to keep a handy list of topics with you at all times.  Remember that any commonality is a conversation in and of itself.  A sport, a team, a performance or anything that you can relate to in any way can create a conversation that will pick up someone’s day.  This type of adventure is doubly good because it is good for the person you visit and it is good for you.

In the end, there is no shortage of ways that you can enjoy life more than you do right now.  If you are already filling your life with adventures, then perhaps it is time to add new people to them.  The more the merrier is a great theme to follow as you move through life.  It is true that the more people you share your life with, the richer you will feel.   So create your own adventure pack and hit the streets, life is nothing more than an adventure waiting to happen.

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Questions

The Influx

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By Jonathan Hilton

Day 68

In life there aren’t many experiences which bring large numbers of positive people into your life at once.  Each person making a lasting impact on you, whether it is big or small.  If you are a reader of this blog, then you have noticed my absence recently.

The great crew from camp after an unexpected dip in the lake. It cost me a phone but it was well worth it.
The great crew from camp after an unexpected dip in the lake. It cost me a phone but it was well worth it.

I had great intentions of being able to keep writing while working the hours that this great experience requires for the short-term.  Unfortunately life has gotten in the way, and my intermittent contributions will have to do until the middle of August.

Inspiration comes from life, and I think that to live your life to the fullest and gather the lessons that each day has to teach, you need other people in it.  There is a sign in my current office which I did not put there, but it serves to remind me about the impact that people have.  It states. “Everyone brings joy to this office.  Some when they enter. Some when they leave. ”  I have found these words to be true.

My current occupation is as an administrator at a small summer camp in Maine.  It is a fantastic place, and the staff that works here consists of tremendous young people.  I often hear people complain about the younger generation and the fact that they lack work ethic or morals.  I would challenge them to spend a day with the counselors at our camp.  You would be bowled over by character, determination, hard work and just plain decency.  They are all good kids who contribute greatly to the successful running of the camp.

Selfishly, the influx of all of these great people has made me a better person.  All people get down, and need an encouraging word from time to time.  Without even knowing that they are doing it, almost without exception this group of young people has encouraged me daily, and inspired me not only to advocate for them, but to remember my younger self and the dreams and inspiration that come along with it.

Often times as life moves along we tend to minimize the number of people in our lives as we become set in our ways and interests.  I know that I have been less likely to venture out of that comfort zone to stretch to try new things.  This entire experience has been a stretch and a growing experience.  I know that it is only for a short season, which gives me the strength to carry on through all difficult circumstances and also reminds me to cherish the moments that do come along.

Each and every person in this adventure, those that are here and those that have moved on have made an incredible impact on my life in a very short time.   From the owners to the girl who washes the clothes.  I am truly lucky to have been able to be impacted by these great people.  I am sure that just as quickly as we all came together, we will all separate at the end of the summer, but  the memories of this experience will last with me for the rest of my life.

 

Questions

Seeking Yourself

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It’s Tough To Find Quiet Today

Seek Moments of Solitude
No Man is an Island

by Jonathan Hilton Day 65

As our society has evolved to produce more and more entertainment for people to enjoy, the moments available for actual individual, creative thought have become few and far between.

I know that personally, there were times where I was entertained during every moment of my free time.  It was common to turn the television on  immediately when I got home to add noise to a quiet house, to having music playing all night long to, “help me sleep”, it was a non-stop bombardment of my senses that was actually distracting me from engaging in any original thought at all.

When you look at how our young people choose to live life, it is even worse, between Ipods, computers, video games and television, there is very little left for the imagination to do for them.  They are living an amusement park ride of the senses, allowing for outside influences to supply the entertainment, not developing their individual thoughts or imagination.  This is not everybody, but a large portion of the youth today.

 

Finding Your Thoughts In The Quiet

time for solitude
Solitude

Solitude is not a dirty word.  As we are developing as people, it seems like you are constantly judged by how many friends you have and that if you are ever by yourself then you must have a problem.

That is not true, what you need to develop is an ability to be by yourself and to use that time not as a sign of social dissatisfaction, but to use it as a time to develop your individual creativity and thoughts.

It is in this time alone that you will be able to find your original thoughts and understand the many experiences that you have.  If you find a quiet time without any distraction and allow your mind to work unfettered by any outside influence, you will experience original thoughts, no matter how intelligent you feel you are.

You will find your own thoughts in the quiet times.  You will be surprised what you will be able to create and understand in that time all by yourself.  You will find many of the things that you are passionate about as well as being able to glean wisdom and understanding from the experiences you have had throughout your life.  You will also start to really notice all of the rich details in the things around you that previously you were oblivious to.

Knowing Yourself is The Ultimate Reward For Solitude

Probably the best thing that finding a little solitude will give you is a much deeper understanding of yourself.  What makes you happy?  What makes you sad? You will find the things that make you smile, and the things that break your heart.

There are many things that people like to do with others and you need to have contact with many people to be a well rounded individual.  But I also think that it is important to find moments of pure solitude so that you understand what parts of yourself you have to offer to others.

So challenge yourself to find some moments of solitude, and to think original thoughts that are yours and yours alone.  All of those in your life will appreciate you and your unique thoughts more than you can imagine.  Give it a try.

Quotes on Solitude:

“Solitude is as needful to the imagination as society is wholesome for the character.” ~James Russell Lowell

” Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning can give a sense of quiet in a quiet in a crowded day—-like writing a poem or saying a prayer.  What matters is that one be for a time inwardly attentive.” ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“In solitude we give passionate attention to our lives, to our memories, to the details around us.” ~ Virginia Woolf

‘In meditation it is possible to dive deeper into the mind to a place where there is no disturbance and there is absolute solitude.  It is at this point in the profound stillness that the sound of the mind can be heard.” ~A.E.I. Falconar

“O Solitude, the soul’s best friend, That man acquainted with himself dost make.” ~Charles Cotton

“Solitude is the nurse of enthusiasm, and enthusiasm is the true parent of genius.” ~ Isaac D’Israeli

“One of the pleasantest things in the world is going on a journey; but I like to go by myself.” ~William Hazlitt

“I am sure of this, that by going much alone a man will get more of a noble courage in thought and word than from all the wisdom that is in books.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Questions

Teach Your Children

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Advice That All Kids Ignore

ignore advice
Nobody ever listens

by J.D. Hilton  Day 64

When I was teaching high school, after about ten years or so, I thought that I was a pretty intelligent person.

I had seen a lot of kids come and go and continually I saw them make the same mistakes with their lives.   I wanted to tell all of the new students that were coming my way how to avoid all of the pitfalls that ensnared so many of their predecessors, but it seemed that  if you try to tell any kid anything, they have a severe case of selective hearing.

If you are over 25 there is no way that you could ever know anything that would relate to their life in any way.  It doesn’t matter what you are trying to teach them.  They will not listen when you tell them your own experiences.

The only thing you can do is condense everything you want them to know into small spoon sized portions that they will remember without even realizing it.  Once the thought is in their head, there is not much they can do about it.

They can ignore it, but the rules are always there, or at least I thought so.  It has been years since I had even thought about the three rules, but was reminded recently about how I told them to my advisee group when they were freshmen in high school, and probably to every class I ever taught.  They were worth telling then and worth listening to now.  At least I think so, and this is my blog so…………….here you go!

Rule number one  –  Always Wear You’re Seat Belt

wear your seatbelt
rule number 2

The reason for this rule was self explanatory to me, I had seen several lives cut tragically short because of car accidents.  Seeing a life end so prematurely and to possibly be preventable was a no brainer to me.  Having experienced that, I never wanted to have that experience because of one of those kids I was talking to.  Wearing a seat belt is the law and it makes sense.  I know that you can still be critically injured in a car accident even when you wear all safety equipment, but if wearing a seat belt can prevent you from dying and all of the suffering that comes along with it, then why wouldn’t you?  So wear your seat belt, it’s the law and someone out there cares about you enough.

Rule number two- Don’t Drink or Do Drugs

Such an adult thing to say to a kid, but one that I always wanted to at least say.  As adults most of us have either directly experienced the affects of drugs and/or alcohol either through direct practice or indirect observation.  There is one fact

Don't Do Drugs
Ozzy wishes he hadn’t

that I could never get over, and that was that I never heard any good reason to do either of these things.  How many lives have been destroyed because of these vices.  Alcohol has been marketed to the young through the media for decades, and is always portrayed as bringing a good time with it, when in truth you are ingesting small amounts of poison into your body willingly to change your perception of reality.  The sad part is that no matter how much you drink or how many drugs you do, they won’t improve your reality.   Nobody says when they are a kid, “Gee, I want to be an alcoholic or a drug addict when I grow up.”   , still we have so many.  I do not judge these people, because we are all just one or two different decisions away from someone else’s  problems.  I can see that using these substances inevitably leads to misery and it all can be avoided by following rule number two, I also know that I would have more of a chance of reversing the law of gravity than to have this advice be listened to, much less followed.

Rule number three- Don’t Have Sex Until You Are Married

dont have sex until your married
Nobody listens to this!

Talk about unrealistic.  I had seen how so many lives had been changed by the unexpected pregnancy that resulted from unsafe premarital sex.

In hind sight, it would have been more productive to say, don’t have unsafe sex.  But I was idealistic at the time, I have become more of a realist over time.

I would still encourage waiting to have sex though.  Again, our kids are bombarded with messages at younger and younger ages that sexuality should be exploited.

The factor I think nobody ever talks about is that sex is more than a physical act it is an emotional one as well.  And most often, almost without exception, these emotions can overwhelm you if you are not ready for them.  Not to mention the unplanned pregnancy that could result.

Once you have made the decision to have sex, you have to be ready to pay the consequences.  They may be immediate or they may come back to you twenty years later.  Whatever the case, you have to be ready to accept that responsibility, because it is a part of the deal.  I also in retrospect feel very hypocritical about saying this, because I didn’t practice it when I was young, but I guess because of this I also am the voice of experience.

 Conclusion

As I have gotten older and moved away from teaching and been able to look at things from a distance, I know that as people we try to develop rules to protect ourselves from being hurt.

Unfortunately, life is full of random acts that you will never be able to avoid no matter how many rules you make.  Life is going to happen and sometimes uncomfortable stuff will happen to you.  If you survive all of that random crap, accidents, sickness and failed relationships, and you can recognize them for what they are, just things that happen in life, you can still enjoy the hell out of what is left.

Questions

Some Things Worth Remembering

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 Have you done anything lately worth remembering?

21809682_have_you_done_anything_lately_worth_remembering_xlargeby Jon Hilton  – Day 16

Every day there are events that take place in our lives that we experience. Some are things we have to do, like work or eating.  Some are things we choose to do, like exercise or hobbies.

All of these activities combine to provide us with the experiences of our lives. There are some that you will remember always and some that you will forget almost as they occur.

 This is my attempt  to become more mindful of what happens each and every day and to make it so that each day is an event to remember and cherish.

The Power and Problems of Routines

Sometimes a routine can turn you into a sleep walker! Change.
Sometimes a routine can turn you into a sleep-walker! Change.

One of my major weaknesses as a human being is that I always try to put things into a routine. Organizing events in time so that they can be completed in the most efficient manner.

I have noticed the patterns I established in my life to do this.  From the time I wake up, to where I stop on the way to work, routines are good for making you feel secure.

 A routine will allow you to feel like you are in control and make you feel like you have some power, but in reality a routine can really be detrimental to your mindfulness of an experience.

 This is because once you march through life doing the same thing over and over, you start to do it without even thinking about it.  You are thinking about something else and just performing whatever task you are doing.

 People even get into a routine of interaction with others where the same people meet and have the same conversation every day.  You will know if this applies to you if you have a hard time remembering which day was which.

Change it Up and Live

New things can be powerful, but you have to try them.
New things can be powerful, but you have to try them.

Simple changes in your routine can allow you to appreciate the little things that you encounter each and every day.

I pretty much followed the same routine for about ten years at one point in my life. I could not tell you how any day was any different from another, except for the days where something happened to get me out of the normal existence.

Each of these moments I can recall with exact clarity, years later and it is because I was outside of the routine.

Focus on doing things Differently

Doing-Things-DifferentlyI am not able to do it every day but there are some days when I focus on doing things differently.  If I have fallen into a routine I try to do something different.  Wake up early, wake up late, eat a different food for breakfast, take a different route to work or stop somewhere I did not plan on.

The reason that these things will become memorable is because as you experience something for the first time you are mindful of it.  You can’t just go through the motions of something that you are not sure of.  This causes excitement and builds interest in your every day life even if you are not doing anything Earth shattering.

Why Each Day is Special

For each of us there is a clock which starts running the day we are born and runs out when we pass away.  There is no way to know when this clock will stop, it could be any second!

 I have always thought that if we knew we had a few days to live wouldn’t that change the way you existed.  Would you ever eat a meal that was so unmemorable that you can’t recall it two days later?  Or would you cherish and savor every drop of delicious goodness.

If you have ever experienced your own mortality, then you know that each second becomes something wonderful to experience and hold on to.  The sun never felt warmer, you remember the wind on your face. You know that you are lucky to be here and each moment is a gift.

You Choose What to Remember

seeing things differentlyIn the end I think that if there is anything worth remembering it is up to you.  You will always have the choice to remember today as the best day you ever had.

Or if you do not feel that today was a great day, then you have the chance to make changes in what you experience that will greet you on the next day.

I think that all of the things that I have experienced that have been unique, from the moments I spent talking to someone I had never met before to new experiences.

Everything I have done lately is worth remembering to me.

 Have you done anything lately worth remembering?

I Remember YOU!  Yes I am talking to YOU!

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Questions

Tell Me Who Do You Love?

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Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

who-do-you-love-what-are-you-doing-about-it by Jonathan Hilton

Love is a difficult topic to discuss because there are so many parts inside of us that can be exposed through this discussion, that it is easier to brush it off and make a joke of it, to distract from the fact that love is a huge part of being human and being happy on the face of the earth.

This straight forward question is kind of fascinating because it forces you to declare where the love in your life lies.  I realize that there are many different kinds of love we experience during the course of a life.  Love brings with it a wide variety of experiences from the fantastic to the horrible and it can all come from the same relationships.

I Love Everybody

love everyoneEveryone in existence loves someone. There is no way that you can’t.  It might be unrequited love, or unfortunate love or bad love but we all love someone.

With that premise in mind I answer that I have a feeling of love inside for everybody.  How can that be? Easy, because I believe that we are all connected and although our physical experience is different, there is a similarity that we all share.  Therefore to hate someone else is to hate myself.

There were many times when I looked at people with a much harsher eye. I judged people with a cool and unemotional dislike,  not liking those who were not doing what, in my mind they should have been doing.

It is easy to judge others because it diverts the attention away from yourself.  Most things that you find annoying or as shortcomings in others are the weaknesses you generally recognize in yourself.

I know that every person is living their life the best they can.  I can’t judge their personal decisions because I have not experienced the pain or joy that has influenced them.  All that I can do is to be accepting of people just for what they are because inside of them is a person who is very similar to me.

Even if they are mean, uncaring or cruel to me or others, I do not let their bad behavior and poor choices dictate how I am going to think or feel. I forgive them, that is all there is to do.  I would rather that then carry hate or resentment in my heart.  Hate is a virus and will destroy your soul and make life quite joyless. I have carried that load enough.

But You Gotta Love You

lucy loveOf all the people you spend time with in your life, you have to be the most important.  It is difficult for many people to consider that they love themselves, let alone to tell the world that they do.

For many years I can say that I never forgave myself for the smallest of mistakes.  I didn’t love myself, in fact I didn’t like much of what I felt or thought.  Yet in the end it is true that you can’t give love to someone else unless you first feel it for yourself.

I believe that each of us has a gift inside that makes us special.  When we were young we felt it and had hope for the day it would come to light.  Yet for me as for others, life pushed that gift aside and made us forget what we had.  Replaced by a chorus of  “you should”, “You Could have” , “You must”, “If only you would have.”

None of these regrets push you closer to your true self, in fact they push that truth deeper inside and make it harder to find.

I am not sure if or when I will ever find that light that existed in me, but I remember that it did at one time and I am searching for it feverishly because I know that it is fantastic.  The possessor of such a gift must be worthy of love no matter who it is, and therefore the first love I feel must be for myself.

What Am I doing About It

end loveWell anyone who has been reading my writings or talking to me in person will know that I am trying to live in a way that is representative of the best of me. I know that I have fallen short in many ways in my life and without the help of others I never would have  been able to start this journey. I never would have known what to look for.  So I follow the path that is laid out in front of me. One day at a time and experience what is placed in front of me. I accept others for what they are and try to accept myself the same way.  Love is the most powerful emotion in the world and all good things are an offshoot of this emotion.  I am doing the best I can to follow the feeling of love.

 

Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

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Are You Truly Living

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What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

truly living
Are you truly living?

by Jonathan Hilton

All people are going to answer this question differently depending on where they are in their life.  To me being alive is a fact of nature, and enjoying life and living for a purpose is truly living.  But how do you enjoy life?

Other people will answer this very differently.    It only takes a few visits to any number of blogs to experience the wide variety of philosophies and beliefs that exist.

Young people are struggling to master life, yet so hopeful about living it is encouraging   While older people are resigned to the fact that you may never figure it out everything there is to know about life, but they share their thoughts and experiences.

One of the things I like about reading so many different people’s opinions is to be exposed to ideas that are different from mine. Valid yet different and I think that is a powerful force of growth.  These are my thoughts on truly living.

The problem with Life

For me there is a question that came to me as I got older and thought that I was on the

questions about living
We all have questions, I know I did.

path I should be on. After carefully contemplating the experiences I have been fortunate enough to have in life I came to the conclusion that being alive was not enough and that I needed to start truly living and for me that meant I had to make a lot of changes in my perceptions of people, life, God and everything that at one time I was sure of.

I wasn’t sure what was “right”, but I knew there was more to life than a conditioned accumulation of material goods to supply comfort to life.

What comfort did I ever give to others? What did I contribute? Even as an educator, I was contributing stories about living which happened long ago, espousing the morals and actions that young people should aspire to follow, with the awareness of the world around me the size of the head of a pin.

I don’t think I  consistently enjoyed what life gave me. There are easy things to enjoy and appreciate, like those we love, and those that love us, a sunny, beautiful day, a large sum of money, all of these can be easily enjoyed, but how many people pass through a day without having gratitude for anything in their life, because they are too busy looking at what they don’t have.

I was one of these, searching for the right amount of stuff that would bring happiness with it. I never found that.

 The Past

Future past and present sign in the sky
Which direction do you follow?

One of the biggest problems people face,when trying to truly live is that they always seem to distract themselves from the moment they are currently experiencing.

Perhaps spending time with someone you love, reading a book, exercising, or doing whatever it is you do, because you allow yourself to be distracted by things that make you feel the moment you are in is not a good enough thing.

One distraction is the past, which often allows you to reminisce about the past and feel that things were so much better back then, when you were happy.

Often the past is not quite what we remember it to be and it really doesn’t matter in the scope of today.  It is over and gone, good or bad and to short change today for yesterday is selling something tangible and of extreme value for  nothing but a fantasy.

Often I had looked to the past to the good old days, which were nice memories, but other than lending experience to today, couldn’t help make me very happy or allow me to truly live.

 The Future

Others choose to focus on the future, planning and scheming the best way to route their lives to get to the point where finally they will be happy.  They think that if they  do this particular thing, at this particular time then I will be happy, satisfied, successful, or whatever.

The problem with this is that when you put all of your focus onto tomorrow you miss the great things that are happening today.  You can prepare for the future with the actions of today and enjoy today at the same time, the difference is that you don’t put anything off, like being happy and satisfied with life or anything else. Tomorrow may never come and rarely does it happen as you plan, so putting happiness off is a bad gamble that will most likely never pay off.

I’ll Be Happy When I am Rich

Materialism is another distraction that keeps people from enjoying the moment, often it goes hand in hand with waiting for the future, but tying your happiness into the acquisition of some material thing is going to stop you from appreciating today, because you are going to be thinking that happiness is going to come when you get that house, or car, or Ipad or whatever.

The satisfaction of that acquisition will be short-lived and soon you will be looking for the next thing that should bring happiness and satisfaction to your life, as you ignore the opportunity for happiness that you have in your experience today. Being grateful for what you have will allow you to enjoy the day. If you don’t believe me, then try it.  Be truly grateful for what you have.

Your Choice

choice for life
You can choose if you are alive or truly living

So truly living to me is the appreciation of what life is giving you right now in this moment.

That doesn’t mean that it will always be perfect. Sometimes there are painful things in life, and we have to deal with feelings that are not so nice, people get sick, accidents happen, people die, life is not perfect and there is no guarantee that everything is going to go your way.

However, there is a choice that comes pinned to each of those experiences to make it a positive or a negative factor in your life.  Only you can decide for yourself the difference between being alive and truly living.

What does truly living mean to you?

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