Tag Archives: Facing Fear

22

It Goes Around

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What Goes Around Comes Around 

Finding motivation for new topics can be difficult, and sometimes it is just downright challenging.  Living in Maine, there are a lot of inspirations; natural beauty, people, and space all can contribute.   Yet the great thoughts I have

Much of what I learn from other bloggers.
Whatever power gets YOU through the day!!

been exposed to through reading and the quest for knowledge can fuel the fire of creativity.  Below are some of the motivations I have been lucky enough to be exposed to. Mindfulness, listening, facing fear, and what goes around comes back to you. What you send out to the world in your thoughts and your actions does reappear in your life, leading to some of my most exciting writing. Sometimes the return is terrific, but sometimes the exciting part is we get back exactly what we deserve. Live your life in selfishness, never thinking of anyone but yourself, and you will find those things as a part of your experience. Here are a few ideas to find the creative mojo we need to express ourselves.

Mindfulness is Important

mindfulnessI can lose focus on what I am currently doing in so many ways. Sometimes my mind runs back into the mist of the past. Just as often, it is pulled forward into the fantasy of what may come. But the future is uncertain at best, and the past is over, can’t be changed, and is probably open to many different interpretations.

Still more taxing to my mind is the practice of trying to do 12 things at once, and I lose focus on enjoying whatever I am doing in the name of a hurry.  All of the things that I accomplished today, I was careful to do each one at a time, or at least when I caught myself doing something and thinking about something else, I re-focused on the task at hand.   I got all of the studies done better and completed them quicker.

One of the great things I read was all of the helpful exercises you can do to bring yourself back into the moment.  Meditation is an excellent practice for keeping your thoughts at bay and providing mindfulness to your day. Focusing on a simple mantra or just continually trying to concentrate on your breath will keep you at the moment. Your mind will drift away like a cloud on a breeze, but you can always bring your awareness back to the moment by merely realizing you lost your focus. This realization restores your conscious directive thought to the moment.  Mindfulness will also allow you to quiet the mind to listen to your heart.

Listen to Your heart.

Quiet the mind. listen carefully.
Quiet the mind. Listen carefully.

It doesn’t matter what your religion or philosophy is. As a human being living on the face of the Earth, you have to deal with the voices of your Ego. Without going into a lot of detail, this is the voice you often hear that tells you negative things about yourself. Its primary function is to keep you safe, but in doing that, it can provide devastating feedback and negative comments that destroy your self-esteem.

Today I was reminded that even though you may never be able to get rid of this part of yourself altogether, you can learn to listen to it less and less.  Through practice, you can recognize when these thoughts come to you.  Anytime you think, “I am not good enough” or “You most likely will fail.” Then you are listening to your ego. The alternative is to listen to your heart.

Your heart knows what is best for you and can answer any question because your heart is your connection to the universe.  The voice of the heart is not as loud as the ego. Much like it is difficult to hear sound advice with a siren screaming in your ear, the ego distracts and drowns out this voice you should be hearing.  It is always there, always has been, and always will be. You need to ask a question and be able to listen for the answer.

I do not want to be a cowardly lion.
I do not want to be a cowardly lion.

 Facing My Fear

I have had cause to reflect that no matter how much distance we have covered in life, there are still some fears that I need to address daily to be free of their influence.  It is the fear of worrying about what other people think of me.  How much that shyness affected me all of my life, and this is a daily battle every day.

I am sure others understand what I speak about, the feeling of just wanting to fit in and not stand out because then you might be afraid the world will notice all of your faults.   The side effect of this thought pattern is that you are so scared to let anyone see the real you, which is too much of a risk.  This fear can stop you from enjoying many things in life.

As you grow older and experience teaches you other lessons, you get to a point where you have to say to hell with all of that stuff. Be yourself. Some will like it, and some will not. That is the way life goes. At least when you close your eyes at night, you know that you have been the most honest version of yourself that you can be. We can’t do any better than that.

What Goes Around, Comes Back Around

goes aroundThis was a song by Justin Timberlake, and I was reminded that I do not have high respect for his acting ability, but more importantly, I remembered the truth of this phrase in life.

It is a karmic statement that what you put out into the world will come back to you, often with a bit of extra.  Most significantly, today, I was thinking about how we treat others.  If you lie to someone and mistreat them, then someone will most likely mistreat you.

Often we are so personally involved in the situations of our lives that we never notice this game in action until we take a step back and look at the whole game board. We can see the connection between our activities and the experiences we have.

I only know that I decide to be honest, kind, caring, and thoughtful because that is all I can control in life.

 To Move Forward, Leave the Past Behind You

This is a part of what I read today:

I wish you gone, dear memory,
I wish I didn’t have to remember every detail…..

I wish I could be free
Of the shackles that you have in me…..

I wish for forgiveness
I wish for it never to have happened….

forget pastI remembered how this felt.  We have all been there, a person is gone, and it is for good. There may have been good reasons, but a part remains even though they are gone. A longing for the past causes pain.   Eventually, we learn to move on and let it go; the shackles of that memory are loosed, and you find that love isn’t a prison sentence placing you in a memory cell. It is the power that sets you free.

Final Thought

Today I was struck by so much good writing and thought that I could have kept going, but I only have a bit of time to write.  Now my secret is out, and I get much of my motivation and inspiration from the people who create each day wonderfully! Each creator provides a garden of ideas and a playground for thought!

What other songs could I choose for this?

 

22

Things Happen for A Reason

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leapI should stop being astonished, and there should be a moment where I finally get it. All of the things that happen in life do happen for a reason, and all I need is patience to see what lesson I need to learn.

The problem with me and I think many people are that we spend way too much time planning and plotting to prove how smart we are and not enough time enjoying what is happening in our lives right at this very moment. Or we are just so sure we know what the best outcome for us would be if only the Universe would stop toying with us and make us better.

This post is for the little leaps of faith that people take each day to get to where we are destined to go and hopefully find happiness. I need to remember these faithful spells are available to me at all moments. Too often, I will resort to fear and lack faith.  It starts with the thoughts, words, and actions we entertain every day to see the wisdom in life.

The Stones Appear From Nowhere

It used to be that I thought you couldn’t do anything unless you saw the next step river-rocks-nan-wrightin front of you.  That got me moving through a lot of days of mediocre existence.  There were few lows and very few highs, just a constant middling life. I was not open to anything outside of my control. How could it be possible?

Eventually, it got to the point that there was a clear choice in front of me.  Stay in this existence for the rest of my life, or move in a new direction where the potential for downtimes was there, but the potential for significant achievements as well. I paused at the crossroads like when I was young, summoning the courage to take the plunge into the cold lakes of Maine in the summer.

I took the first hesitant steps into the unknown, and the adventure of life truly began.  I often took those steps out into the foggy mist, and I did not know what was there. I almost always find the feel of a sturdy stone under my feet with each step and open myself up to the wonder of the world. Sometimes I have slipped and fallen.  That is the price you pay for excitement and learning something new, but I have also been able to experience jobs, people, and things that I would never have imagined.

Open Your Front Door

It is too easy to look at everyone and mistrust them thoroughly.  If you watch the media view of the world, I don’t blame you.  It seems like a mass murderer is living around.

Open a door and you never know who will walk in.
Open a door, and you never know who will walk in.

Every corner, but that is a lie.  There is a great human being around every corner.  You can choose to be suspicious and not trust anyone. But you are limiting yourself.

Often I have made this choice, and sure enough, I was safe enough, but at what cost?  How many opportunities for growth did I miss out on? Were there people who could have helped me on my way?  I will never know.  Instead of keeping the front door locked and bolted all the time, try opening it once in a while. See who stops by for a visit.

I can’t guarantee you that the people you will meet will be great, but they may be just what you need to experience in your life right now.   I don’t know if it is good or bad, but it is my experience that the more people in your life, the more opportunity for growth. So try opening that door.

Master Your Fear and Grow

I probably should have started with fear, but it always makes a good ending.  In life, we all struggle with this factor.  It is the root of many of our major problems in life, from Thinking-will-not-overcomewhat job to pursue to whom we should have a relationship.  Fear is the factor we must all learn to overcome to have a life. Its potential exists in every person and everything we do.

These leaps of faith, from choosing a new path to giving people a chance in your life, are exercises in conquering fear.

Nobody lives their life free of fear, and it is such a part of our psyche.  Sometimes the fear is so ingrained that we don’t even recognize that is what is controlling our behavior. It is hard to open up and give people a chance because they can hurt you, and that is an experience we would all like to avoid.

Learning to recognize when you are experiencing fear and managing it is one of the most significant leaps of faith you can take.  You fear because you don’t want to be hurt when you open yourself up, then you may be injured.  The risk is worth it because the best way to grow is to take a chance on a path, a person, or overcome fear, and find that you are more powerful than you thought.

Then as you grow, you are willing to take more significant risks and put yourself into a position where you could be hurt again, but accept the opportunity to experience great achievement, love,  or anything else that you value.

The choices are really for you to decide.  Stay in the safe zone you live in, or take some brave steps into the unknown and see just what growth is coming your way. It all starts with your thoughts, words, and actions.

Grasp your opportunities, and grow like you were meant to!

“Do not constantly spend your time complaining about a problem you may be having or may be up against. Focus your time toward correcting the problem. Always remember, Time values!”  Victoria Addino

“Ultimately there is no such thing as failure. There are lessons learned in different ways.”  Twyla Tharp

“I believe that nothing is more important to our ability to effectively address our present than understanding the lessons learned from those who have come before us.”  Charlie Gonzalez

“The lessons learned as we try to build ever more sophisticated nanomachines will almost certainly inform our understanding of the origins of life.”  Paul McEuen

“I’m thankful for every break in my heart, I’m grateful for every scar, some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned.” Nishan Panwar

 

21

Fears

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Moving past our fears
Everyone Experiences Fear

So you have a goal in mind, and you feel it just might be your passion. It is right there in front of you like the low-hanging fruit on a tree. All you have to do is reach out and pluck it, and it is yours.

Yet you don’t reach. You stand or sit and watch the fruit as it hangs there, tantalizing your senses.  It is often fear that stops us from following our passions, and for me, I have often found fear to be a huge barrier to doing what I want.  What is it that I am afraid of?

What If I Fail?

I think that we all have this fear in our minds to some degree.  Being successful is ingrained into our consciousness from the first days we begin school.  So failure is looked at as something undesirable. Our education system teaches this as a rote fact.

Yet when you analyze it, really, it is just one of the many possible outcomes of trying.  All great discoveries and people became geniuses to the world as they stood on the heap that was Moving Past the Feartheir previous failure.  Failure is not fatal; it isn’t even detrimental to accomplishment.  So often, we need one more piece of the puzzle to reach a new height, and you can often learn what that is through the experience of failure.

Sometimes we fail, but the choice of how you deal with that is always up to you.  You can quit, roll up in the fetal position, and rock slowly, asking yourself: Why? Or you can analyze the failure and see the shortcomings of whatever you have done, correct them, and try again and again if necessary.

I have been paralyzed by fear before, and in hindsight, it always makes you feel foolish.  Find the encouragement you need to keep going, your friends, your family in the books you read, or whatever you come in contact with daily.  Don’t let this fear stop you. Fear is nothing but a thought. You don’t have to pay attention to it.

What If I Succeed?

As strange as it sounds, I have been hurt by a fear of success.  How can I be afraid of

moving past failure
Moving past failure

succeeding?  Well, surely you have not met me.  The human mind seems to be great at creating problems where none really exist.  My mind is an expert at this.

Perhaps it is the egoic ramblings of my conscious mind that worries that if things go too well for me, something bad will clearly be followed soon.  This fear of Karmic retribution can sometimes make you want to keep things as “even Stephen” as possible.  Never reaching too high to avoid falling to a scary low that perhaps you might not want to experience.

This is the worst of all fear because it is stopping you from reaching your limits.  All of us will have experiences in life, and one of them should be reaching our potential in any given area of interest, especially if it is doing something that we are passionate about.

Put this fear to bed by understanding that life is full of ups and downs, and no matter what you do, no matter how even-keeled you try to stay, there will still be setbacks.  Being great at something will not result in a punishment later unless you choose to create one. Fear is only a thought in your mind that you choose to pay attention to.

What Will Everyone Say?

For me, this is the biggest fear there is.  Perhaps it was a childhood weakness, or maybe it was high school trauma, but for whatever reason, I have been deathly afraid of what other.

Moving Past the Fear
What do they think about me?

People might think of my actions.

The foolishness of this fear really jumps out at me as I write these words because the only person who is hurt by this type of phobia is definitely me.  Let me share my anti-fear recipe here.  First of all, what other people think is their problem, not mine.

Secondly, any bad thoughts that someone has about you are often due to their own inadequacies and fear, not yours. Other people are always mirroring into your soul. What you see in others often exists within you.

Thirdly, what you think they think is most often not accurate anyway.  This is because it is most often my ego that produces these thoughts of someone else.  Really they are your own perceived weaknesses projected onto someone else.  When you think about it that way, you can see it makes no sense to be afraid.  Fear is a thought in your mind.

Escaping Fear

In the end, the scary thing is that we all are going to face fear, and it is most likely going to happen every day, whether we like it or not.  It is in how we deal with the presence of fear that our lives will be defined.  Will I shrink from the negative thoughts that fear creates? Or will I rise above it and start to pay attention to more positive forces in life.

I think most people who can achieve their dreams can look fear in the eye, recognize it for what it is, and move on with their actions anyway, which take them to the finish line.  Fear is nothing more than a thought, and that is it.

Fear is not a real tangible thing unless we allow it to become that through our inaction.