Tag Archives: fear is toxic

22

Let’s Shine a Light

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Overcoming toxic fear- brave
Dive Into Your Life……Fearlessly

All of us must know at a basic level that fear is bad. I am not thinking of the basic fear of heights, snakes, or public speaking. Even though the roots of those are located in one of the three fears, which cause us to think negatively and bring negative energy to our lives. To eliminate the toxicity of fear, it is essential to learn how to recognize it and the emotions attached to it and destroy it in our lives. It sounds straightforward, but you know it is anything but simple if you know fear as I do. Let’s look at these three fears, how they arise, and how to eliminate them. Imagine living a life free of fear. What could you accomplish that you haven’t? What things in life would flow better and more efficiently? I didn’t invent these fears, but I have had in-depth experience with them. Let’s shine a light on them.

Fear of the Future

If everyone is honest, they will admit to entertaining the thought of fear about tomorrow’s future. It is easy because we all have hopes and dreams for what will come. But we also have experienced pain because we have attachments to specific outcomes that didn’t happen. It is a constant game of what if and worries. What if the car breaks down? What if they leave? What if I get sick? The list of potential problems is nearly infinite, and your mind will play this game a lot because it is a trick to think if you consider all of the difficulties you might face, you will never be disappointed when tragedy does come your way.

The problem is you are creating anxiety where none needs to exist. Challenges will come your way, and you will deal with them as they come. The actions you will need to take will become apparent as required. To eliminate these fears, the best technique is to maintain a sense of mindfulness and be in the moment right now. Right now is the only moment you are guaranteed. Live there and let tomorrow bring its things. That doesn’t mean you don’t plan, we all do the best we can in this area, but it also means you don’t put all of your energy into fearing what might happen tomorrow or next week. Be grateful for the things you have in your life right now at this moment. Live today and dismiss the fear of tomorrow.

Fear of Rejection

This fear also exists in everyone; some people deal with it much better than others. We have all been in a situation we haven’t gotten what we wanted in life, had a relationship end, or lost a job or something else that mattered to us. This is rejection, and that can be a harrowing experience. It is so painful that we will create a life where we don’t put ourselves in that position again. We will limit ourselves and the people we are close to, ensuring we don’t find that pain again. But that is fear, and fear is toxic and will limit you in all ways.

To face these fears is to understand the pain inside will happen occasionally, and you don’t want to go out and seek it, but you can’t live a life of limit to avoid it either. I have spent years in limiting situations because I was afraid of rejection. It stems from your experience and the programming you have had in life. Something that happened when you were very young can hold a place in you, creating fear of being rejected by someone. Divorce often has this effect on children. We all rationally know it isn’t the child’s fault, but it feels like rejection for sure to the child. Face your fear of pain and jump back in with an open heart and a clear mind. It isn’t easy because there is always going to be a chance you will be hurt. And pain is still………..well, painful. But life is about living, and pain is a part of that. Fear stops you from living. Focus on today and not what has happened in the past and accept new things and people and be grateful for them.

Fear of Failure

We have been conditioned in our lives to fear failure. It is a word that has become synonymous with lessening your ability and a result to be avoided at all costs. Look at our educational system: you pass and are great or fail, and you are not so wonderful. If you have never done something and are trying to figure it out, you will not experience success right away, more than likely. But if you continue to work, take the lessons from your first attempt, and put them into your efforts the next time. You eventually will bring your goal into reality. But a fear of failure stops many from even attempting.

It would be quite a world to put the fear of failure behind us and try things we are interested in without being labeled. When a young person tries and doesn’t do things quite right, it is essential to encourage and not chastise them. See the effort and encourage them to try again. All great things are created through the action of experiencing “failure” and applying what you learn. If others discouraged you as a child, it is up to you now to choose how you respond to a challenge today. Some don’t step out of what they know they can do, and others jump into the challenge. Funny that once you face the fear of failure, you realize how valuable those experiences are to you and your learning. Try without attachment and be open to the feedback experience gives you; you can do anything.

Fear Not

Many fears branch off these three toxic fears, but you can overcome them by learning to recognize when you are afraid. Fear is a feeling of danger and exists to maintain your well-being. It moves you away from physical danger and keeps you safe. When this perception of risk is irrational and mental, you need to shine a light on it, and you will find the fear holding you back is nothing but a misguided thought. The thought you are supporting the things you believe about life. Change your thoughts, and you will find these three toxic fears can be lessened or even eliminated from your life. Start by consciously looking at how you approach things. Please point out the fear, and notice it in your mind. Understand it isn’t you. A simple change in thought can eliminate it. This is not an easy process, but it is simple, and anyone can do it. You can do it if you try, and the result will be a life of limitless possibility.

Quotes on Fear:

“Is it useful to feel fear because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless because nasty events will occur whether you are frightened or not?”– Lemony Snicket

“Many times, the thought of fear itself is greater than what it is we fear.”– Idowu Koyenikan

“Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.”– Dan Brown

“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our fears.” – Rudyard Kipling

“One great enemy we must all endeavor to fear, not conquer, is fear. Fear can cripple purpose and purposeful life. Fear asks questions we must fear. Fear makes vision a nightmare. One must always cross the barrier of fear to get to the great city of true purposefulness. A great number of us who are unable to live to accomplish the true reason for our existence on earth are unable to cross the barrier of fear in the first place.”– Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

“The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.”– Gandhi

 

21

Toxic

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I think we are all trying to establish positive momentum in our lives, but we make choices that make moving forward with confidence impossible. That is when we allow thoughts, emotions, and actions into our life of a toxic nature.  These things will seep into all areas of our lives, destroy our confidence in ourselves and make us paranoid about life.  Each moment will become a worry something is going to go wrong, or the worst will happen.  What are these toxic thoughts? In a word, fear.  But we can overcome fear with some of the most positive tools in our mental toolbox. In particular, HOPE.

Fear of the Future

Where will I be tomorrow? What is going to happen to me? These questions and worrying about the answers can bring more toxic emotions to your life than you can handle.  Many people spend an awful lot of their time, energy, and thoughts on what the future will bring, and most are focusing on the negative things that might happen.  What may suffering be on the horizon?  Whatever there are, our minds come up with things that are much, much worse.  This misuse of imagination will take you out of the moment you have right now and ruin it with worry and fear about what could be coming down the road.

The moment is the key to defeating this fear. Look at what you have right now, for sure, in your life and find things to be grateful about.  Do you have some time off? Are there people in your life you love? And that love you back?  Be grateful for these things and focus your attention on these real things happening in your life right now.  Of course, you always plan for the future, but you can’t worry about it and carry fear in your heart.  Know there will be challenges in your life. That is what living is.  Have a hope that all things will work out for the best and leave the fear of the future behind you, and you will defeat one toxic fear.

Rejection

From an early age to old age, being rejected by someone is a difficult pill to swallow. There is no good way to experience it, and suffering is the result.  This causes many people to become gun shy about taking chances and going after the things they want.  Fear of being rejected can stop you from even attempting to accomplish things you dream about.  Everyone can establish this fear early on in their life, and negative beliefs about yourself and life can make this fear even more toxic.

The best way to defeat this fear is to stand yourself up, dust yourself off, and give it one more try.  Learn what you can from the rejection you perceive in life. Take those lessons and make your next job the best, your next relationship more solid and loving, or become stronger on the inside.  There is a strength inside each of us that can push us back to all challenges we face, including being rejected. You know the worth you bring to the world. Own it.   Hope again can empower you to be the greatest version of yourself and overcome the toxic fear of rejection.

What if you Fail?

We can take the same route with a fear of failure. Many projects, ideas, and creations are killed before they come to fruition because of the initial fear they might not work. What will people think? We live in a society that has no allowance for failing. Our school system rewards a lack of thinking and the ability to memorize and regurgitate information.  Rather than encourage people to attempt to learn things, occasionally, in the process, you will have setbacks, and in those setbacks, the potential for ultimate success exists.  Try again, with the new knowledge you have gained.

We created virtually every major accomplishment in the history of humanity through the process of trial and error. The Wright Brothers didn’t get their plane off the ground on the first try.  Thomas Edison certainly didn’t invent the light bulb on the first go.  No, it was a process of trial and error and learning. Information needs to be gained through our failure to create greatness.  Be confident in yourself.  Try what you think will work without a personal attachment to the outcome.  Then you can unemotionally evaluate the information you gain and use it to be better.  The toxic fear of failure will cause you to quit. The hope of creating anything will come into reality with this recipe.

Fear Nothing

So the challenge is made to you and me today, not to let the fear of the future, rejection, or failure become a toxic force in your life. Rather use the power of hope to guide you to becoming the best version of yourself.  Fear is a negative thought you give power to, and it will never accomplish anything positive for you.  It will only limit your potential and kill your dreams.  Even if the worst should happen, you can find the inner strength to grow from it and continue with your life.  Fear is a choice, and so is hope. It is up to you.

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” —Helen Keller.

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” —Henry Ford

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” —Rosa Parks.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” —Nelson Mandela.