Tag Archives: Fear Of Failure

22

Let’s Shine a Light

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Overcoming toxic fear- brave
Dive Into Your Life……Fearlessly

All of us must know at a basic level that fear is bad. I am not thinking of the basic fear of heights, snakes, or public speaking. Even though the roots of those are located in one of the three fears, which cause us to think negatively and bring negative energy to our lives. To eliminate the toxicity of fear, it is essential to learn how to recognize it and the emotions attached to it and destroy it in our lives. It sounds straightforward, but you know it is anything but simple if you know fear as I do. Let’s look at these three fears, how they arise, and how to eliminate them. Imagine living a life free of fear. What could you accomplish that you haven’t? What things in life would flow better and more efficiently? I didn’t invent these fears, but I have had in-depth experience with them. Let’s shine a light on them.

Fear of the Future

If everyone is honest, they will admit to entertaining the thought of fear about tomorrow’s future. It is easy because we all have hopes and dreams for what will come. But we also have experienced pain because we have attachments to specific outcomes that didn’t happen. It is a constant game of what if and worries. What if the car breaks down? What if they leave? What if I get sick? The list of potential problems is nearly infinite, and your mind will play this game a lot because it is a trick to think if you consider all of the difficulties you might face, you will never be disappointed when tragedy does come your way.

The problem is you are creating anxiety where none needs to exist. Challenges will come your way, and you will deal with them as they come. The actions you will need to take will become apparent as required. To eliminate these fears, the best technique is to maintain a sense of mindfulness and be in the moment right now. Right now is the only moment you are guaranteed. Live there and let tomorrow bring its things. That doesn’t mean you don’t plan, we all do the best we can in this area, but it also means you don’t put all of your energy into fearing what might happen tomorrow or next week. Be grateful for the things you have in your life right now at this moment. Live today and dismiss the fear of tomorrow.

Fear of Rejection

This fear also exists in everyone; some people deal with it much better than others. We have all been in a situation we haven’t gotten what we wanted in life, had a relationship end, or lost a job or something else that mattered to us. This is rejection, and that can be a harrowing experience. It is so painful that we will create a life where we don’t put ourselves in that position again. We will limit ourselves and the people we are close to, ensuring we don’t find that pain again. But that is fear, and fear is toxic and will limit you in all ways.

To face these fears is to understand the pain inside will happen occasionally, and you don’t want to go out and seek it, but you can’t live a life of limit to avoid it either. I have spent years in limiting situations because I was afraid of rejection. It stems from your experience and the programming you have had in life. Something that happened when you were very young can hold a place in you, creating fear of being rejected by someone. Divorce often has this effect on children. We all rationally know it isn’t the child’s fault, but it feels like rejection for sure to the child. Face your fear of pain and jump back in with an open heart and a clear mind. It isn’t easy because there is always going to be a chance you will be hurt. And pain is still………..well, painful. But life is about living, and pain is a part of that. Fear stops you from living. Focus on today and not what has happened in the past and accept new things and people and be grateful for them.

Fear of Failure

We have been conditioned in our lives to fear failure. It is a word that has become synonymous with lessening your ability and a result to be avoided at all costs. Look at our educational system: you pass and are great or fail, and you are not so wonderful. If you have never done something and are trying to figure it out, you will not experience success right away, more than likely. But if you continue to work, take the lessons from your first attempt, and put them into your efforts the next time. You eventually will bring your goal into reality. But a fear of failure stops many from even attempting.

It would be quite a world to put the fear of failure behind us and try things we are interested in without being labeled. When a young person tries and doesn’t do things quite right, it is essential to encourage and not chastise them. See the effort and encourage them to try again. All great things are created through the action of experiencing “failure” and applying what you learn. If others discouraged you as a child, it is up to you now to choose how you respond to a challenge today. Some don’t step out of what they know they can do, and others jump into the challenge. Funny that once you face the fear of failure, you realize how valuable those experiences are to you and your learning. Try without attachment and be open to the feedback experience gives you; you can do anything.

Fear Not

Many fears branch off these three toxic fears, but you can overcome them by learning to recognize when you are afraid. Fear is a feeling of danger and exists to maintain your well-being. It moves you away from physical danger and keeps you safe. When this perception of risk is irrational and mental, you need to shine a light on it, and you will find the fear holding you back is nothing but a misguided thought. The thought you are supporting the things you believe about life. Change your thoughts, and you will find these three toxic fears can be lessened or even eliminated from your life. Start by consciously looking at how you approach things. Please point out the fear, and notice it in your mind. Understand it isn’t you. A simple change in thought can eliminate it. This is not an easy process, but it is simple, and anyone can do it. You can do it if you try, and the result will be a life of limitless possibility.

Quotes on Fear:

“Is it useful to feel fear because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless because nasty events will occur whether you are frightened or not?”– Lemony Snicket

“Many times, the thought of fear itself is greater than what it is we fear.”– Idowu Koyenikan

“Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.”– Dan Brown

“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our fears.” – Rudyard Kipling

“One great enemy we must all endeavor to fear, not conquer, is fear. Fear can cripple purpose and purposeful life. Fear asks questions we must fear. Fear makes vision a nightmare. One must always cross the barrier of fear to get to the great city of true purposefulness. A great number of us who are unable to live to accomplish the true reason for our existence on earth are unable to cross the barrier of fear in the first place.”– Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

“The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.”– Gandhi

 

22

Just Taking Some Action

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Taking action
Taking Action can be scary, but it is the one thing you can do right now to move toward your goals.

An individual’s most significant power is to analyze a situation, determine if it benefits them, and then take Action to enhance the current situation or move in a new direction. Taking Action is a necessary factor in any success story.

The difference between those who are successful and those who are not is the Action they take each day to move toward their goals. Want to write a book? Start writing. Want to build a car? Start building. Want to have love in your life? Start loving others. Making the conscious choice to take Action is the most empowering thing you can do. Here are five benefits that taking Action will bring into your life.

Taking Action Eliminates Fear

fear 33Human beings are always dreaming. We can accomplish who we want to be, and fear is the most significant thing stopping us. Fear of failure, if we don’t find success, then what? I don’t want to look foolish. Failure is the first step to achieving anything.

Reevaluate, re-plan, and try again, fearlessly through Action. Fear of success, if you become successful in your dream, what? Action eliminates fear and will allow you to become what you dream of. Without Action, nothing will ever happen. Taking Action will eliminate fear, which is the only thing that can.

You Know Where You Stand by Taking Action

Until you test an idea or theory with Action, you never know if it will work or not. So you can sit there where is standwith great dreams and plans, thinking about how much money you will make or how famous you will be when this great “thing” is done. Take Action and see if that book will sell, that invention will make millions, or that business can’t fail. The move will allow you to evaluate where you are and what work your dreams need to be great. Without Action, the greatest ideas will be castles in the air.

If you want to have a relationship with a particular person, you will never know what might happen if you never take Action to ask them out. Activity will display a measuring stick; if the relationship is not going to happen, you can stop wasting your time and move on to something more productive. Taking specific Action toward your goal will reveal the reality of the situation and the distance required to travel.

Taking Action Calls for Help

One of the great benefits of taking Action is that your intentions are displayed to the world, and through Action, you help to achieve what you want as that avenue arrives. By actually taking steps to begin and starting toward your goal, people of similar interests may be drawn to you. Someone else may have the missing piece to your puzzle of success. If you have an open mind and accept others’ ideas, success may be just on the other side of a simple action.

Energetically, I believe that what you seek is also seeking you. Setting your intention into fact through Action will attract similar people to you. Take Action and draw the assistance you need, or take no action and sit in quiet, unsuccessful anonymity.

Taking Action shows Commitment to Your Success.

commitmentOnce you take Action toward a goal, it becomes real, and once a dream starts to become real, our commitment to its ultimate success increases. Until this point, it was just an idea on a planning board, but now that you have taken Action, your vision has started to come to life. Becoming committed to a tangible thing is much easier than an idea. Thoughts are powerful, but thoughts can change and be easily discarded. The reality is much more persistent. Once the first domino is pushed, it is natural to follow the string. It is taking the next Action and the one needed after that.

Memories of the Journey

So there you are, looking for success, planning your wildest dreams, and all it needs to become a reality is taking actionfor you to have the courage to take Action. Make a call, start a website, publish that, arrange that article, sell that, pitch the idea, and be brave and unafraid to fail. Sitting still is safe but will never allow you to finish a race.

The path to success in anything will be a journey from planning through Action to evaluating your efforts. The journey along the way will supply the stories you remember fondly and the relationships forged in the accomplishment. It all begins with taking Action.

  • An idea not coupled with Action will never get bigger than its occupied brain cell.
    ~ Arnold Glasow
  • You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.
    ~ Joe Sabah
  • Don’t be afraid to take a big step. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.~ David Lloyd George
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.~ Aristotle
  • The superior man acts before and afterward and speaks according to his Action.
    ~ Confucius
  • The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions.  ~ Confucius

 

22

Factors In My Fear

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One of the most influential factors in the lives of all people is Fear. It comes to us in various ways and affects what goals we set, what actions we take, our thoughts, and how we interact with other people. The factor of Fear touches almost every moment of our lives. It makes you wonder how we all became so afraid. Fear comes in many different forms to influence us, unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, and even phobia. These are the faces of Fear that people face and are influenced by every day. The thing to remember is that most of these are not tangible things. There isn’t a real and present danger that will cause you harm. No, these are fears based on something that might happen in the future, perhaps. If they do, I will suffer, making me nervous, anxious, worried, tense, etc. So we live our lives based on something that is just a thought that is not happening now. You can counteract feelings of Fear with thoughts of love, which starts with you, in your mind.

The Present Moment

It is also very peculiar that there is no room for fear when people are faced with things in the present moment. You can be worried about whatever you want, but when faced with that experience in the here and now, most people react without a doubt. They do what must be done, one step at a time. There is no room for fear or anxiety because you are dealing with the problem head-on, and you know the answers to any questioning thoughts you may contain in your head. Later, after the trauma is over, your mind can create wild replays of an incident and create new fears. This thought is post-traumatic stress. The event dominates your thoughts with what-if scenarios, and if that could happen, what about this?

Look at your thoughts, and all of our fearful ones are based on the potential for suffering and avoiding it. We are all scared of monsters in our closets, we all have different closets, but the Fear is the same. I will be hurt, and I want to avoid that at all costs. Try to focus on the thought that we can always deal with the present moment, but we have difficulty coping with things that are a projection of the mind. Because our minds can make up scenarios that make us feel helpless, and that is the scariest thing at all. The future is challenging to deal with as a projection because there is no honest answer to counteract the perceived pain experience. What is this pain?

Our Fears

What exactly are we afraid of?

*One is a fear of loss, that something we care about will be taken away from us. If you have nothing, you have nothing to lose, and it is the loss of things we have that frightens us. If you have love, rather than enjoying it, we destroy it with a fear of losing it.

*Another major fear is a fear of failure. To me, this is a significant impediment to developing to your fullest potential. When you try something new, you will either succeed or fail. Either way, you will learn something valuable that will lead to your ultimate growth and fulfilling your potential. Too often, we let our fear of failure stop us from trying something, and we are defeated before we begin. It isn’t the failure that scares us, and it is what others think the loss says about us.

*Fear of being hurt is another one. I think suffering is one of the parts of this human experience that we need to be conscious of. Of course, we don’t want to experience pain. It is not a good thing. But the pain has a purpose. It tells you that something is wrong and that problem needs to be addressed one way or another. It directs action and forces us to do something. When the pain is happening, most people are not afraid. After the experience of the pain, we are fearful of being hurt again. We remember the experience and, of course, would like to avoid it in the future. The problem is when you let your fear of being hurt stop you from living that you are living in Fear.

**Fear of death is the real problem we have mentally, that this physical journey will end at some point. You have to come to peace with our impending mutual doom at some point. But some people take it to the extreme and need to be right in every argument to defend a mental position they have identified with. To lose the debate is the mind having its sense of self threatened with destruction. If you are wrong about something you believe wholeheartedly, what else could you have been wrong about? Once you realize the mind is not you, it is possible to step back and see that right or wrong makes no difference. You can know what you believe and speak it firmly and clearly.

Shine a Light

Fears will disappear when you shine a light on them. The view of consciousness will eliminate all of your Fear of thought. Hold what scares you in your mind and focus on why it is so frightening to you. Follow the emotion back to its origin, and you will see most of the things we fear have humble origins early in life. They are often punctuated through our experience, but they start in our youth. If you have a fear of trusting someone and being hurt, it began when you were small, and it has probably been plaguing you throughout your adult life. Shining a light on this issue and realizing that there are people you can trust, and often it is your thought pattern that leads to a situation of suffering.

Spend some time documenting and honestly examining your fears. Find their origin and understand that they are just your mind projecting an image that doesn’t exist. The light of knowledge and understanding of yourself will bring courage.

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” —Helen Keller

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” —Henry Ford

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” —Rosa Parks

“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.” —Napoleon Hill

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” —Nelson Mandela

 

21

Your Fear

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fear of failureWe have all dreamed and attempted to achieve those dreams. We have tried to become something or create something at one point in our lives, and we have failed. Failure is a part of life, a consistent factor in achievement, and how quickly that achievement will depend on how you react to the crash you face. It hurts to fail, and the quicker you can overcome that fear of failure, you can move forward sooner.

Lie Down or Run Forward, Fear of Failure

I think in my experiences, there are two reactions to failure. Lie down and give up or learn the lesson and try again, realizing that you now have one of 6252359-Young-Asian-businessman-in-suit-hanging-himself-by-his-necktie-as-a-final-extreme-reaction-to-failur-Stock-Photothe critical pieces of information that will lead you to where you are destined to go. So running forward makes sense because your success will quickly come to you.

Now we have all experienced failure. We have tried as hard as we can, but all of our hopes and dreams behind a goal and wanted it with all that we have inside, and it all came crashing down in failure. When that happens, your brain remembers the pain of that situation, and a fear of failure is created. So the next time we start to put our hopes and dreams into something, our brain starts to remind us of that previous situation and wants us to be wary. That is where the thoughts of doubt, worry, and fear come from. If you allow them, they will derail your project before it gets going. Fear of failure will keep you standing still.

Mistakes are Directions

A wise man is thankful for mistakes because he tries to change the outcome and accomplish goals. Secondly, a mistake tells you clearly what will not fear of failurework, so you will find the method that will be successful. Learning comes in many ways through books, from mentors, but the most potent teacher we ever have is our experience with mistakes and failure. It is a delicate dance to allow yourself to fail and not take it personally and let the fear of failure destroy you and your ability to take action.

These lessons your mistakes give you are success directions, and those who take a moment to decipher the experience without fear will achieve their dream and reach all their goals. As long as you learn the lesson and don’t continually repeat the same mistake, success will come from the errors you experience, and you have to learn to evaluate them helpfully.

fear of failureBe Great Go Against the Fear of Failure

Do not let a mistake destroy your confidence or make you tentative in your actions. As you think, so shall you be. Think about what you want to accomplish. You are a divine and unique person with unlimited potential, and only you and your attitude can stop you from being great. Taking action is the cure for all fear. Overcome that nasty fear of failure once and for all.

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” -Helen Keller

“Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.” -William Shakespeare

“Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.”-Dale Carnegie

“Do not be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” -John Rockefeller

“Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out. “-Benjamin Franklin

 

21

The Courage

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We all have to walk down the dark corridors of our lives, and there are moments we need to find all the courage we have inside to keep moving forward even though fear is gripping our hearts. Courage is the ingredient that allows a person to take their next step, though they are afraid of what might happen. Freedom from fear shifts a person’s energy from the negative to the positive. Courage allows you to dismiss the opposing forces of doubt and fear and replace them with hope and expectation of something positive happening in your life.

You can choose to bring your courage into your conscious thought every day by recognizing the daily fears you face and still do what you have to anyway. Here are three significant concerns we all need to overcome at some point; 1. The anxiety of the future 2. fear of rejection 3. Fear of failure. With a shift in focus and awareness, we can deal with what scares us, and it starts with noticing your thoughts of fear and answering the question: Do I have the courage to face my nightmare?

Courage for the Future

Fear about the future is what many worries are based on. Somehow people believe that if they play out every nasty, negative, and painful scenario of what might happen in their mind, they will never be hurt or disappointed. Worry is negative energy that brings negative things into your thought process, the words you use with others, and, of course, the actions you take. Fear never brings anything good to anyone, and it robs you of the good things you have in your life right now. Isn’t this what anxieties of all kinds are based on? The future may have challenges in it, and those things will help you grow. Eventually, our death will come, and the ending of everything will ultimately happen. Worry won’t stop that. It just makes your experience of today far less enjoyable.

Put your worries away and focus on the positive things in your life right now. Enjoy the good things you have at this moment. Prepare for the future, as any responsible person would. But realize that whatever is coming your way is coming. There will be loss, sadness, and pain. There will also be joy, laughter, and great experiences. Have courage that you will be able to weather the negative, and the positive will be present in much larger quantities. Have courage about the future and the positive things it will bring to your life. There are no guarantees, so embrace the joy when it comes to you.

Courage about Rejection

People may reject you or something you do for many reasons, and the truth is, most have little or nothing to do with you. It is their past experiences, choices, and consciousness making those choices. Don’t take any of this personally. It is them, not you. Put your plan in action and do it in a way that makes you happy. Even though you may have lost someone or something you treasure, look for the good in the situation. It may not be easy to recognize, but it will be there.

Changing your perspective takes courage to do because there will always be naysayers and doubters. And often, the biggest doubter you will face will be in your head. Ignore their noise. People will come into your life who will discourage you. Make you doubt who you are and affect you negatively. If they put as much effort into pursuing their dreams as critical of others, they could accomplish anything. They are the definition of negative mediocrity. Give their opinions about all the attention they deserve. Non Have courage, try, create, do, go, find, build, and believe!

Fear of Failure

Now we come to what I think is the most common fear, and that is a failure. What is a failure but a label? We are trained in education to view breakdown as the worst result. Things are not always going to go perfectly. But it isn’t. If you are genuinely creating and reaching for something new, there is a real chance you aren’t going to get it right the first time. But each attempt at something provides information, experience, and skill. Those can work to a challenge, and the next time you will get a different result. The courage to ignore a negative view of failure and see how this situation provides an opportunity to grow, learn, and ultimately gain success. That is how it has worked throughout the history of man.

It takes real courage to face this challenge. Our society views anything but perfect results as a failure. There is little margin for error. Why is this? Could it be that if we encouraged thinking and fundamental knowledge, people would be less controllable? Individuals might develop ideas that would change things. Be brave and let your courage drive your process of learning. Not the expectations and judgments of narrow-minded small people. Give them all the regard they earn. They have no idea where you are going and what you can do. Unless you accept their narrative about you, it’s your choice to be more conscious of your courage.

Have Courage and Do It

Let your consciousness continually become aware that life is a little game. There is a beginning, a middle, and an end. We are all moving toward the inevitable, don’t waste your time in fear. Find your courage to make changes in your life that leads you toward living like your best self.

People fear change naturally, even if it is clearly for the better. Be brave and have the faith that it will work out in the end. Nobody can be sure where that end is, but having the courage and taking action will lead to a result. Find your courage today, and it all begins with a higher awareness of your thoughts, words, and activities. You can then learn, evaluate, grow, improve, and make better actions. You are eventually becoming and achieving what you want.

Courage- the ability to do something that frightens one.

We all have courage inside us that will allow us to achieve all of the great things we want to accomplish if we learn to use it.

“True courage is not the absence of fear—but the willingness to proceed despite it.”–Unknown.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you are.”― E.E. Cummings Quotes On Courage.

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.”― Coco Chanel Quotes On Courage

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”― Winston S. Churchill.

 

21

Overcome Failure

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Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Nobody in their right mind would ever set out to fail because accomplishment is what people have been programmed to strive for. Yet, I look at our society, and I see a significant fear of failure in the eyes of most.  It has been bred from our earliest school days, “Do what we tell you and succeed,” “Never try something your not sure of, or you might fail.”  I think that history is full of people who have seen their share of disappointment and failure. Yet, these initial setbacks worked as a springboard to future success.  Failure is never fatal. Quitting is. Why is it that our educational systems seem to fear failure so?

A Harsh but Effective Teacher

learning from failure
At First You May Fall

Failure is a word that has negative connotations attached to it.  Nobody wants to be seen as a failure, associated with a failure, or even admit that they have experienced failure.

The perception of being a failure can harm different parts of our society, from stock market prices to the power of a celebrity at the box office.  Being a winner is preferable to being a loser. Yet, it is a fact that sometimes we all lose.

However, if you spend a little time looking at the lessons that you learned over the expanse of your life, you probably learned a lot more from the losses you experienced than from any other teacher you have ever had.  Failure is not fun to experience, but learning to deal with it and rise above it is one of the most valuable tools you will ever acquire.

Failing Can Open Doors of Opportunity

Once you learn this lesson, no goal is too far from your

finding success in failure
But You May Find Inspiration

reach.  Once you take ownership of what has happened and recognize why you fell short, you can take steps to continue working to achieve that goal. Often your ultimate success was driven by that initial faltering attempt.

One of the best things about becoming involved in athletics as a child is learning how to overcome setbacks in a controlled environment, learning valuable life lessons safely. These lessons are directly applicable to life. You will not always get the job, sometimes there is criticism of your work, and you don’t always win.

If you keep striving to win, though, and you evaluate your shortcomings honestly, then a person can overcome almost any failure and find success in the end.  That success can extend to any part of your life.

Why Are We So Afraid?

Thomas Edison quote on failureIt seems like today and parents are so involved in their kids’ lives that often, children are not allowed the freedom to fail at anything.

Either because they never want their kids to feel bad, or the parents are living vicariously through the accomplishments of their young ones.

Either way, kids are often taught that everyone is a winner and participate in non-competitive games, which sends an unrealistic life lesson because life is not that way.

Life has a way of testing you and finding out what you are made of.  Life is a game that you can’t win, you can only play it, and a healthy part of it is that sometimes things will not work out for you.

I would think that if I had never understood this that the first time failure came to me, I might have a nervous breakdown and never recover.  Yet, the hope of accomplishment and greatness keeps people marching forward, despite the risks of failure and the pain involved in not getting what you want.

If you work toward a goal, then you will have an opportunity to achieve that goal.

Give It A Shot, Then At Least You Know

When it comes never to try, you will avoid experiencing this failure, but you will also never learn the lessons that failure inevitably teaches you.  All things are not accomplished quickly, but if we persevere, we can achieve almost anything.

failure is not final
Great thought!

Never trying is way worse than failure. You will never know your capabilities unless you test yourself.

You will never improve physically, mentally, or spiritually unless you push yourself a little.  When you push yourself, sometimes you fail.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back to it. Learning this lesson will be one of the valuable experiences you will have.  And at least you will know, definitively once and for all, what you are capable of.   You are a great human soul with unlimited potential and effort, and fearless acceptance of the consequences will take you there.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

 

21

Nothing to Fear

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FEAR ME

fear 1“I am afraid. ” There I said it, I admit it. Now the challenge is for you reading this look at yourself and sees how true that statement is for you.

Fear is so ingrained in our society that sometimes it is difficult even to recognize it anymore; if you are like me, it is time for you to get onto the common ground with your fear and face it. 

What is Fear?

This is the feeling that something or someone will cause us harm, resulting in pain and suffering.  It begins from the time we are small children as adults in our lives try to warn us against the damage the world can cause.  It has its place in the learning curve because otherwise, kids would walk in traffic, set the house on fire, and do all kinds of harmful things.

So what’s the problem? Fear becomes more than this. Fear is the root of all evil. All of the negative emotions of the world stem off from worry. Hate, anger, jealousy, judgment all come from fear-based beliefs and all-cause irreparable pain.

Can Fear be Good?

fear lightSome people believe that fear supplied in a small dose can be a motivating factor for some people. I think that is initially true; however, it is not a successful nor long-term solution. What are you trying to motivate yourself to do?  Fear may get you there once, but what then? Is it going to take something even scarier to get you to reach further?

The best motivator is creation.  A person working from fear will work hard as long as the threat is behind them; they will let up when removed.  The person who is working for the motivation to be creative will persist until the invention comes into reality, Regardless of factors surrounding them.  Fear will keep you from walking out into traffic, but common sense does that as well.

Fear Control

patriot actIt has become commonplace for leaders to use fear as a mechanism for control.  Leaders learned long ago that having a common enemy would hide their faults and even help push their agendas.  After 9-11, there was an intense fear of terrorists, which justified many bad things.  Constitutional rights were wiped away by the Patriot Act; there only had to be the suspicion of wrongdoing, and all that our Constitution stood for disappeared. Why? Because of fear?

Media Fear Is Worst

The most prominent proponent of fear is the mainstream media. They have learned that if they talk incessantly about things that might hurt you, then ratings go up. It is sickening.  About a year ago, I implemented my boycott on all mainstream media news.  I haven’t missed a news story, and I am less afraid that the person in the car next to me will take drugs, jump out the window, smash my windows in with a baseball bat and try to kill me. media fearSo I think it worked out ok.

Sadly Fear Sells

In all seriousness, fear is us to sell everything from acne treatments to life insurance.  I refuse to buy anything marketed through fear. I refuse to be afraid of stuff that doesn’t make sense.  Otherwise, we end up locked in our homes, fearful of every sound.  Can something happen? Of course, it can. That is life.  Being afraid only makes you miserable.  Buy what you need, not what you are worried you might need.

Fearfully The End

urlIn closing, I will say this, in the beginning, I stated that I am afraid, and I do have a bit of fear, and this is the most significant one to get rid of, that is a fear about yourself.  We all have a fear of failure to some degree that we have to overcome.  I have this in spades.

Why? Because I am afraid that if I try something, I might fail.  The purpose of writing this post is to put my fear in public.  I sincerely hope that this act will allow me the courage to follow through with my plans.  I am going to write them out. I am going to work on them every day, unafraid of what will come. Because clearly, to do anything else is practicing limiting thinking.

We result from the thoughts that we entertain, and they will each have the power that you allow them to have. So from now on, this is a no-fear zone.  Or at least that is my hope.

What are you afraid of? 

21

The Liar

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Fear Lies

Fear is a Liar
Don’t Listen to fear

In all that we do and all that we try to accomplish, a person must learn to deal with fear.  Fear comes to you through a voice in your head, warning you to be careful how far you stretch yourself, or to watch out for the things you do, the thoughts you think, and the ideas you express.  This voice in your head discourages you and minimizes your efforts and talents, all in the name of safety and comfort.  One of the most freeing things I have learned is that fear is a liar. It lies to you about almost everything, and choosing fear will lessen your experience and stop you from achieving anything of consequence.

Nothing Great without some Risk

Was anything great ever accomplished without some form of risk? Would a man have walked on the moon if they listened to fear? On a personal level, it is no different. When you are considering a new endeavor, hobby, new job, or even thought, there will always be some level of fear to overcome.

What if you fail?   What if you look bad trying? What if people don’t accept what you are doing? What if?  What if???

Is there a more limiting question that fear provides than what if? It is designed solely to limit our willingness to try and to create doubt about our abilities. The lie that fear tells you is that things will go bad if you pursue a dream or a goal. There will be a risk in anything, but taking action is the most important thing we can do. Fear deters action. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the acceptance of others is all just limits on your potential. Fear is a liar.

Fear is a Liar to Stop you from Taking Action

Fear is a Liar
Face your fears, and they will disappear

If you make an effort to achieve something, can there really be any failure? Taking action is going to create something. There are no guarantees as to what will be created, but something will result from your action. Taking no action will result in absolutely nothing.

Even if the results are not what you had envisioned initially, the result will belong to you, and the results are a known entity.  When you don’t try, you never know what might have happened, and then the question of “What if…..” takes on a haunting meaning. Once you try something, you know of its validity and viability. There is a chance to adjust your sails and make your action more efficient in whatever you are trying to accomplish. Fear of failure will stop you from taking action and stop your success before getting off the ground.

Take Action Above All Else

So when you hear the voices of fear speaking to you, limiting your actions, learn to ignore it and take action anyway. Each action that you decide to take will lead to creating something that didn’t exist before.

Even if your action results in an initial setback, it still provides you with valuable information that you can use to take a more focused action next. As I see it, the only way a well-focused, thought-out action can be a negative is if you choose never to take action at all.

Fear is a liar whose goal is to limit your potential and lessen the experience you have in life. When you hear the voice of fear in your head, tighten your resolve, push ahead and take action anyway. Greatness will never be found by cowering to fear.

21

Fears

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Moving past our fears
Everyone Experiences Fear

So you have a goal in mind, and you feel it just might be your passion. It is right there in front of you like the low-hanging fruit on a tree. All you have to do is reach out and pluck it, and it is yours.

Yet you don’t reach. You stand or sit and watch the fruit as it hangs there, tantalizing your senses.  It is often fear that stops us from following our passions, and for me, I have often found fear to be a huge barrier to doing what I want.  What is it that I am afraid of?

What If I Fail?

I think that we all have this fear in our minds to some degree.  Being successful is ingrained into our consciousness from the first days we begin school.  So failure is looked at as something undesirable. Our education system teaches this as a rote fact.

Yet when you analyze it, really, it is just one of the many possible outcomes of trying.  All great discoveries and people became geniuses to the world as they stood on the heap that was Moving Past the Feartheir previous failure.  Failure is not fatal; it isn’t even detrimental to accomplishment.  So often, we need one more piece of the puzzle to reach a new height, and you can often learn what that is through the experience of failure.

Sometimes we fail, but the choice of how you deal with that is always up to you.  You can quit, roll up in the fetal position, and rock slowly, asking yourself: Why? Or you can analyze the failure and see the shortcomings of whatever you have done, correct them, and try again and again if necessary.

I have been paralyzed by fear before, and in hindsight, it always makes you feel foolish.  Find the encouragement you need to keep going, your friends, your family in the books you read, or whatever you come in contact with daily.  Don’t let this fear stop you. Fear is nothing but a thought. You don’t have to pay attention to it.

What If I Succeed?

As strange as it sounds, I have been hurt by a fear of success.  How can I be afraid of

moving past failure
Moving past failure

succeeding?  Well, surely you have not met me.  The human mind seems to be great at creating problems where none really exist.  My mind is an expert at this.

Perhaps it is the egoic ramblings of my conscious mind that worries that if things go too well for me, something bad will clearly be followed soon.  This fear of Karmic retribution can sometimes make you want to keep things as “even Stephen” as possible.  Never reaching too high to avoid falling to a scary low that perhaps you might not want to experience.

This is the worst of all fear because it is stopping you from reaching your limits.  All of us will have experiences in life, and one of them should be reaching our potential in any given area of interest, especially if it is doing something that we are passionate about.

Put this fear to bed by understanding that life is full of ups and downs, and no matter what you do, no matter how even-keeled you try to stay, there will still be setbacks.  Being great at something will not result in a punishment later unless you choose to create one. Fear is only a thought in your mind that you choose to pay attention to.

What Will Everyone Say?

For me, this is the biggest fear there is.  Perhaps it was a childhood weakness, or maybe it was high school trauma, but for whatever reason, I have been deathly afraid of what other.

Moving Past the Fear
What do they think about me?

People might think of my actions.

The foolishness of this fear really jumps out at me as I write these words because the only person who is hurt by this type of phobia is definitely me.  Let me share my anti-fear recipe here.  First of all, what other people think is their problem, not mine.

Secondly, any bad thoughts that someone has about you are often due to their own inadequacies and fear, not yours. Other people are always mirroring into your soul. What you see in others often exists within you.

Thirdly, what you think they think is most often not accurate anyway.  This is because it is most often my ego that produces these thoughts of someone else.  Really they are your own perceived weaknesses projected onto someone else.  When you think about it that way, you can see it makes no sense to be afraid.  Fear is a thought in your mind.

Escaping Fear

In the end, the scary thing is that we all are going to face fear, and it is most likely going to happen every day, whether we like it or not.  It is in how we deal with the presence of fear that our lives will be defined.  Will I shrink from the negative thoughts that fear creates? Or will I rise above it and start to pay attention to more positive forces in life.

I think most people who can achieve their dreams can look fear in the eye, recognize it for what it is, and move on with their actions anyway, which take them to the finish line.  Fear is nothing more than a thought, and that is it.

Fear is not a real tangible thing unless we allow it to become that through our inaction.  

 

21

Toxic

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I think we are all trying to establish positive momentum in our lives, but we make choices that make moving forward with confidence impossible. That is when we allow thoughts, emotions, and actions into our life of a toxic nature.  These things will seep into all areas of our lives, destroy our confidence in ourselves and make us paranoid about life.  Each moment will become a worry something is going to go wrong, or the worst will happen.  What are these toxic thoughts? In a word, fear.  But we can overcome fear with some of the most positive tools in our mental toolbox. In particular, HOPE.

Fear of the Future

Where will I be tomorrow? What is going to happen to me? These questions and worrying about the answers can bring more toxic emotions to your life than you can handle.  Many people spend an awful lot of their time, energy, and thoughts on what the future will bring, and most are focusing on the negative things that might happen.  What may suffering be on the horizon?  Whatever there are, our minds come up with things that are much, much worse.  This misuse of imagination will take you out of the moment you have right now and ruin it with worry and fear about what could be coming down the road.

The moment is the key to defeating this fear. Look at what you have right now, for sure, in your life and find things to be grateful about.  Do you have some time off? Are there people in your life you love? And that love you back?  Be grateful for these things and focus your attention on these real things happening in your life right now.  Of course, you always plan for the future, but you can’t worry about it and carry fear in your heart.  Know there will be challenges in your life. That is what living is.  Have a hope that all things will work out for the best and leave the fear of the future behind you, and you will defeat one toxic fear.

Rejection

From an early age to old age, being rejected by someone is a difficult pill to swallow. There is no good way to experience it, and suffering is the result.  This causes many people to become gun shy about taking chances and going after the things they want.  Fear of being rejected can stop you from even attempting to accomplish things you dream about.  Everyone can establish this fear early on in their life, and negative beliefs about yourself and life can make this fear even more toxic.

The best way to defeat this fear is to stand yourself up, dust yourself off, and give it one more try.  Learn what you can from the rejection you perceive in life. Take those lessons and make your next job the best, your next relationship more solid and loving, or become stronger on the inside.  There is a strength inside each of us that can push us back to all challenges we face, including being rejected. You know the worth you bring to the world. Own it.   Hope again can empower you to be the greatest version of yourself and overcome the toxic fear of rejection.

What if you Fail?

We can take the same route with a fear of failure. Many projects, ideas, and creations are killed before they come to fruition because of the initial fear they might not work. What will people think? We live in a society that has no allowance for failing. Our school system rewards a lack of thinking and the ability to memorize and regurgitate information.  Rather than encourage people to attempt to learn things, occasionally, in the process, you will have setbacks, and in those setbacks, the potential for ultimate success exists.  Try again, with the new knowledge you have gained.

We created virtually every major accomplishment in the history of humanity through the process of trial and error. The Wright Brothers didn’t get their plane off the ground on the first try.  Thomas Edison certainly didn’t invent the light bulb on the first go.  No, it was a process of trial and error and learning. Information needs to be gained through our failure to create greatness.  Be confident in yourself.  Try what you think will work without a personal attachment to the outcome.  Then you can unemotionally evaluate the information you gain and use it to be better.  The toxic fear of failure will cause you to quit. The hope of creating anything will come into reality with this recipe.

Fear Nothing

So the challenge is made to you and me today, not to let the fear of the future, rejection, or failure become a toxic force in your life. Rather use the power of hope to guide you to becoming the best version of yourself.  Fear is a negative thought you give power to, and it will never accomplish anything positive for you.  It will only limit your potential and kill your dreams.  Even if the worst should happen, you can find the inner strength to grow from it and continue with your life.  Fear is a choice, and so is hope. It is up to you.

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” —Helen Keller.

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” —Henry Ford

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” —Rosa Parks.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” —Nelson Mandela.