Tag Archives: forgive

Life

How to Create a Good Decision

Leave a comment

All successful people seem to do things to make the most of their time and produce valuable stuff they want in their lives. They are simple to understand but challenging to practice collectively consistently, but if you put them all together and allow your awareness to settle on them as you complete them, they will take you on the road to where you want to go. There are seven of these, and I encourage you to learn to make these decisions as I know to choose each one daily.

Take Responsibility

Decide to take responsibility for everything in your life. It is difficult to do when you can quickly look at circumstances, other people, and bad timing as convenient excuses for how things have played out. But once you accept a reason for something, you have given that thing, person, or situation your power. You are, in effect, stating you are helpless against that person, condition, or something. We are just about as weak as we decide to be. Take responsibility for everything, your past, present, and future. Because you are responsible for the situation you are in right now, good or bad. Own it. If things are going well, be accountable and keep working toward building more wonderful goodness. If things are going bad, on the things that put you there, make different choices, and own them. Always be responsible for everything in your life.

Look For More Wisdom

No matter how smart you think you are, there is more to learn. Be proactive and follow the path of knowledge to its completion. There will be things that make sense to learn for business and some you should know for your interest and development as a person. Learn through, find the people, books, classes, or whatever you can to give you the ideas you are looking for. Then as you develop as a person, look for ways to provide service to others.

Having a high level of intelligence or super skills in some areas does not good for society if you keep it to yourself. Let it out and help other people develop their skill set or improve their life experience by sharing what you know in the most practical way possible. Helping others helps the world and will help you develop as a person. Seek wisdom today in all you do, exercise thought, reading, writing, or any creation.

Take Action

Understand that you are a person of action and make those actions count. Today, there are actions you can take to help others and allow them to grow as people and overcome circumstances. We live in a predominantly negative-minded society, be the positive exception that flows against the grain and provides an excellent example for all who observe you and watch you work. Be an example that can’t be questioned. Actions always speak louder than words.

Have Faith

Every person will waver at some point in their life. They will start to question whether there is a purpose for life or if we are just dust in the wind—one of many pebbles on the beach. We are one of over 7 million, but each is unique. There has never been anyone like you, and there will never be another in people’s history. So embrace your special talent and ability. We all have different skills, physical abilities, and appearances. Have faith; things you set your heart on, with the intention of action and follow-through, will happen. It is a mindset of thought we are all capable of right now, in this very moment, to help you grow. Have faith in yourself and that life will work out for the best if you let it.

Choose Happiness

That’s right, choose happiness because it is always a choice. You can let things outside of you that are out of your control take away your joy. Or you can choose to look for the things you can control and be happy about them. In your day, there will be people who do things differently than you might like, or they may make mistakes, and it is up to you if you allow those situations to put you in a bad mood. You don’t have to identify with every problem you see and allow it to make you sad, angry, or anything else. You choose to enable the great spirit in you to shine a light on others or to dim that spirit and be a slave to the whims and larks of the world. That is up to you. Choose happiness.

Forgive Everything

Approach every day with a forgiving spirit because carrying a grudge will give you a heavy burden. Anger and fear are the negative emotions we usually can’t forgive, and when you have a grievance, you create an energy block in your life that will stop you from achieving all that you can be. Forgive the people who harmed you, not for them, but for you. And most importantly, forgive yourself for all of the shortcomings you may have had in life. Forgiveness is a powerful tool that frees up your energy and allows you to function at your best.

Persist

There is nothing in your life that can take the place of persistence. This is the ability to stay with something even when you hit a few roadblocks on the way. Those who persist toward their goals without exception will be the ones who find success in the end. It takes a person of great faith to continually move forward against a stream that is flowing against them, but it is the path to success and those who quit before finding the x on the map or the gold at the end of the rainbow. How many projects were not completed because someone lost motivation and quit? Don’t quit. Persist on your way. Carry great faith in your heart that you can achieve and will achieve. It is a mindset you need to discover.

 

There you have it, seven simple tips to help you find success in anything you do. Each of these attributes by themselves would be great but combine them, and there is nothing you can’t achieve in your life.

 

22

To Forgive Changes Your Future

Leave a comment

Forgive-stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

forgive Who hasn’t been wronged, betrayed, let down, hurt, or disappointed by the behavior, attitude, or actions? Each person you pass on the street or see in your life has felt the pain caused by another. Some are big, and some are small, but that anger about the pain and the fear of it happening again makes us plot our revenge. But the true power is to forgive. Forgive them, forgive her, forgive him, and forgive yourself. To do anything else is to give away your power. Be conscious of your thoughts and emotions that lead to your words and actions. Forgive.

Why It’s Hard to Forgive

Events occur in life, and some events bring permanent change. Change can be difficult and painful. The end of a relationship, modification of a job, or loss of a loved one or friend you once relied on. The pain of loss, change, or loss of trust changes you forever. Anger is the emotion people use to protect themselves. It tells people that something is wrong and provides a false Forgivefeeling of power in a situation you are powerless to change. It is a symptom that something is wrong, and you need help.

Forgiveness is problematic because it feels like what you experienced was wrong. Perhaps you were a victim of abuse, a violent act, or just a thoughtless act of emotional coldness. Many feel forgiveness lets a person off the hook, but that is not the case. A person’s actions are karma, and your reactions and consequent actions are yours. When you forgive, you take power away from what others did to you and return it to yourself. No offense is forgotten or justified, but you are no longer carrying the burden of acts others committed against you.

It is like holding onto a hot coal and thinking of someone who harmed you when you don’t forgive. The only guarantee in the situation is that you will be hurt. Not a good bargain and nobody else even knows of your suffering. You are choosing to carry the hot coal of pain around. Let it go!

Forgive Yourself

The most difficult person to forgive is always ourselves. People always feel they should have known better, been wiser, more robust, less trusting, kinder, more caring, less mean, or just plain luckier. The reality is that you weren’t, and what happened, happened. What is, is. Accepting that and forgiving yourself for it is the path to moving forward positively. Mistakes, misjudgments, and negative situations are a part of life. Let them ruin you or allow them to make you the most vital person possible. To forgive is the key to your power over everything that ever hurt you.

You will know you forgive someone when all anger feelings are missing when you think about them and the situation you were involved in. A searing feeling in your gut comes up when you harbor anger or resentment. When that is lacking, then you have indeed chosen to forgive.

Final Thoughts on Forgiveness

Bringing the concept of forgiveness into your conscious decision-making is forgiveessential for your overall health. If you are spending energy harboring anger toward someone, it is time to let it go. No matter how long you have been carrying your anger, each new day is a chance to let it go and take power back into your life. Let forgiveness become a part of your conscious thoughts, words, and actions today.   Changing the thoughts you entertain about a bad experience will allow you the change the emotions surrounding it, and if you can do that, you are free.

The person who gets the benefits of your forgiveness is you!

 

22

The Positive Turn

Leave a comment

If you are wondering what your thoughts and emotions have led you to in life, take a moment and look at your life and honestly evaluate your circumstances. Nothing will provide a clearer picture. The events of your life are a living, breathing display of how you think and what you believe about yourself.  We make choices every day about what exactly we “deserve” to experience every day, and the accumulative effect of these choices is our reality.  So if you are working a job you are not wild about, that is a result of your preferences. Nobody else forced you into it. You chose it for some reason. The status of your relationships in all areas of your life results from the decisions you have made based on your beliefs about life and reality. That is a fact, and if you want to change things, you need to look at the ideas that led to your thoughts and discard the ones that are leading you in a negative direction. Here are a few thoughts to move in a positive direction. There is success in everyone. The potential for joy in every day and all of it is really up to us.

Take Responsibility

The first and only place to look in answer to: “Why am I in this situation?” or “How did this happen?” is to look in the mirror and accept your responsibility for all of your life situations.  You can cry and complain about this happening or wallow over the sadness that somebody else hurt you. That is a fact; people will hurt others, be callous, uncaring, and take advantage of others.  It happens to everyone in life, but you are responsible for your reaction to everything. You are responsible.

It is easy to slip into the role of a victim and feel sorry for yourself and think about how you couldn’t help what happened because someone else made the choices. That is a very slippery slope, and it slips in more areas once you allow responsibility to fall to something or someone else. The best choice we can make is to take complete responsibility for our lives and situations, and that gives us all the power to create whatever future we want.  You are responsible for your past and your future.

Grow and Take Action

You have the opportunity in every moment of every day to seize that experience and make it something powerful and productive. Too often, I have seen myself and others sit comfortably in the virtual recliner of routine behavior. If you dream of doing something, set your intention to create it, and then take at least a small action toward developing it. In action, there is a truth. It will tell you what will work and what you need to do differently, but it will always lead you toward your reality and the accomplishment of your goals and dreams.

Action will help you gain more wisdom regarding what you want, what will make you happy, and what might not. Learning is gaining knowledge and can come to you from books, videos, classes, other people, time spent in nature, or many different sources.  Nothing will lead you to wisdom if you don’t seek it, and nothing can stop you from finding it if you look for it. So make an effort to find the knowledge available to you every day, and then look for ways you can share what you have learned with the rest of the world. To receive is essential, but to give is the legacy of your life. Make it a positive one.

Choose a Happy Destiny

It doesn’t matter to me if you believe in destiny or not; you have an opportunity in your short life to create something magnificently fabulous or something tragically awful, or something anywhere in between. It is up to you to look at your heart and see what gifts you have to fine-tune and share with the world. Your destiny will be assured once you have listened to that voice within. We are all born with something to give, and then life covers it up through programming and expectations.  The journey to find it is up to you.

Often, the simple thought and feeling of genuine gratitude will guide you back to your true self. Be grateful for what you have in life, and more will come your way. That is what seems always to happen. Have a thankful spirit, and that choice will bring happiness into your life. Grateful people are still happy, and that choice can be yours now. No matter what your situation is right now, there is something to be thankful for, and through gratitude, a small glimmer of joy will enter your life whether you want it to or not. Look for it, create it, and move more positive feelings into your life.

Forgive

Another absolute power we all have is brought to us through forgiveness. It doesn’t mean you condone any poor behavior, and it doesn’t mean you are OK with bad things happening to you, but it means you are no longer letting something that happened in the past define you today.  Refer back to responsibility. You are the only one that can choose to forgive someone and all they do or don’t do. Holding on to anger, hate, fear, or whatever negative emotion you perceive from an event will harm you. These are released through forgiveness. Decide to give heartfelt and honest forgiveness to all those in your life.

The most important person you can forgive is yourself. Deep down, we hold anger toward ourselves for all things that occur in our lives.  Some see taking responsibility for their life this way.  Looking at the past is an impossible game because you can’t change anything that happened, and if you could have done better or behaved differently, you certainly would have.  So to use your past as a punishment for your experiences today is our choice.  And it can be released by only looking into our hearts and forgiving the people who hurt us and, most importantly ourselves. A forgiving spirit will guide you to greatness and a life without fear.

Persist Always

Finally, it is vital to develop and maintain a practice of persistence in your life. Some will start many things and have a high energy level initially but will lose their momentum at the first challenge they face and move on to something else. Persist without exception.  Nothing ever takes the place of persistence. It is a trait that will lead to success in all areas of life. Keep on trying. Get knocked down eight times, get up nine, and trim will be able to stop you.  It is a great faith in yourself that will allow you to be persistent in your pursuit of a career, health, a relationship, or anything else you are shooting for. Keep on trying, and don’t give up because it gets difficult or you have an initial setback. Those challenges are sometimes needed to teach you the information you need. Persistence is power and will always lead you in a positive direction.

“The truth I know for sure is that if something feels good and makes you happy on the inside, you’re probably moving in the right direction.”- Jacqui Holland

“Surround yourself with people who talk about ideas and visions of positivity and do not waste time talking about other people.” 

 

22

Forgive Them Anyway

Leave a comment
Those we think the most of can be the most difficult to forgive, BUT we must forgive to move forward at last.
`Those we think the most are often the most difficult to forgive, BUT we must forgive to move forward at last.

Forgiveness has been a difficult thing for me at times. Realizing learning to forgive is one of the most important lessons a person can learn. I am continually analyzing why I have difficulty letting some things go and moving forward with life in a more positive way.

For most people who I carried low expectations, forgiveness comes more naturally. We are all learning life lessons when someone I expect more from fails me. I find it extremely difficult to forgive.

The things that other people do or have done hurt you and cause you to experience fear in your life. Fear that you will be harmed in some way or don’t measure up, or worry about what others might think of us. Part of the human condition is to experience pain; it teaches lessons and pushes us in directions that may not be easy to go. But there is a point where we have suffered enough and learned all we can. That is a time to forgive those we perceive to have harmed us. That is when we stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. The act of forgiveness will bring you many benefits.

Loss of Faith

stabbed in the back
The most devastating of these come from someone you trust. You never see it coming.

You come to depend on certain people to be on your side and support you, no matter what. It is a cold lesson to find them acting differently from what you have seen over years of experience. Their hypocrisy is one of the most painful hurts because it is so unexpected, like a sucker punch from the Pope. It hurts twice and is more difficult to forgive because a deeply personal trust has been violated. Someone that you could always count on was now gone. Who or what can you trust if you can no longer trust them?

ultimate forgiveness
I forgive all and carry no grudges about anything.

Forgiveness of the ones you cared about the most is most challenging to grant, but it is essential in the end. Your heart will never fully heal until you give this forgiveness, deserved or not, because your life needs to move forward, and casting off all of the anchors of wrongdoing, actual and perceived, is a must. Forgive and move forward; all people act the way they do because of their individual needs. Those we care about are special for a reason, and even though it is hard, forgiving them is a vital step in living a happy life.

Forgiving Others

We have all had people enter our lives who seem to be there to hurt us. These people have hurt us, taken from us, or caused general suffering in our lives. That is their problem and their karma in life. When we hold onto the act that hurts us, it eats away at our present moment happiness. If you are mad at the thought of that person and what they did to you, it is time to let it go. Time to forgive the people that have hurt you and move forward.

It is difficult to forgive because, in many ways, it feels like you are condoning the behavior that caused you any suffering. That is not the case, you do not accept the inadequate response from another, but forgiveness allows you to put the pain of the situation behind you and take away its control over you. Without the emotional charge you provide, an experience becomes something you can learn from and choose some value from. If only that, it can enhance your current life. Choosing to forgive also gives you power over all people and things in your past. You determine exactly how you feel about them and the emotions you attach to them.

Forgive You

One of the most challenging people to forgive is often ourselves. In life, we are going to make mistakes and misjudgments. We are going through this human experience for the first time, and it will have lessons for you to learn. Too many times, we take the lessons personally and allow them to become a part of our identity. This thought is never the case. A mistake is a mistake. Poor judgment is poor judgment. The wisest person in the world has made hundreds of errors. The difference between you and them is that they have learned the lesson and discarded the vehicle it came in.

You are a unique human being and have nearly unlimited potential to do what you dream of if you get out of your way. The way we talk to ourselves has a lot to do with our energy and the confidence developed in life. Only allow yourself to speak of yourself in the kindest ways. Don’t let your mind entertain thoughts that are derogatory to you in any way. Forgiveness of your past mistakes will make this possible and allow you to be confident in your current actions and build the most positive future possible.

Forgive It All

Whatever it is in life you think has caused your suffering and pain, forgive it. There are going to be things that cause us pain in life. Recognize that most of the pain we have allowed has been self-inflicted. Either we have had expectations of too rigid things, leaving a significant gap between what we expect to happen and reality. All of these gaps are going to be painful things. Forgive the situations and recognize that how we choose to think is the cause of much of our suffering. Changing how we feel about things is something all people can do at this very moment, and changing the way you think about an event will change the emotional attachment you have to it. Freedom from all of your past emotional messes is waiting for you with the simple act of heartfelt forgiveness. There is a power in forgiveness that will enliven your soul. 

“Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.” Desmond Tutu

“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” Bryant H. McGill

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” Bernard Meltzer

“Mistakes are always forgivable if one dares to admit them.”  Bruce Lee

Time to sail on to the future.

Related articles across the web

 

22

Anger Management

Leave a comment

I think that no matter how far along you have come in life, there are always some things that have stuck with you, and even though you feel that you have let go of it, you haven’t.

To be happy in life and enjoy the experiences that I am blessed with every day, there is a constant letting go of perceived slights, whether big or small.

Today I am thinking about the process of how I let things go and what experiences I have to make drift into the ether and cease to be a problem for me.

Forgiving and Letting Go

There is a freedom that comes from truly forgiving someone for hurting you. It doesn’t mean that you condone what they did to hurt you, like it, or ever want to see it repeated. It merely means that you will no longer let whatever someone else did have any power over you anymore.

forgive It sounds trivial and overly simple, but it is just that, but just because it is simple doesn’t mean it is secure. I know that I let some of my false crosses become a definition of who I was for a long time, yet I learned in the end that what has happened to you isn’t who you are, and it is what happened to you.

Much like a tree can exist, go through all types of different weather, yet after it all, the tree is still a tree,  It may have lost some branches and may have a few scars on its trunk, but it is still the same tree it was before.

You are still the same as you always have been, despite the challenges you faced. Letting go is the process to stop blaming the storms of life and accept all responsibility for one’s own decisions. Always.

So what Still Needs to Go?

You know if you still have something to forgive if when you think of a person or a situation, there is a burning feeling inside. It feels like a searing sensation brought on only by thought. Sometimes you can not handle it, but then when something comes on you as a surprise, the burn is still there.

 The Universe has a way of presenting you with things you need to work on without looking too hard. People cross your path every day, and the thoughts and feelings that jump to mind immediately about them will determine how much forgiveness you are sending them today. If an er is an immediate, honest feeling, it needs a little more work to find a real solution.

poetry-picnic-wk-19-forgiveness Your reaction could be inappropriate and shocking. These reactions tell you that you are looking at the situation as someone else’s fault, not yours. It doesn’t matter what you perceived to have happened; take responsibility. To com lain or place the blame somewhere else will steal all of your power.

Please take a moment and forgive the entire situation and then let it go. It is not your problem anymore. You will also be glad because being responsible is a good feeling and one of strength and power. It is a feeling that is difficult to describe if you truly forgive and no longer blame anyone else for situations and accept them as situations. There is no more prolonged anger, fear, hate, or frustration, and you can fill those spaces with other, more positive things.

Letting Go

At this point, I hope that I have sufficiently taken responsibility for everything I may have done or been perceived to have done wrong at any point in my life. I can not control what others think of me; in fact, it is none of my business. The way others treat you is because of their programming, not yours. So don’t take it very personally. It isn’t worth it.

In the end, my philosophy can be summed up, that life is a short ride, and to get the most out of it. You have to process and move past the complex parts to enjoy the rest of the ride and learn and experience what you have the good fortune to experience. Love is h d to find in a soul that is worried about revenge and payback.

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer familiar suffering.”-Thich Nhat Hanh

“Letting go helps us to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows one to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.”-Melody Beattie

“Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.”–Guy Finley

 

21

Heal

Leave a comment

When you have a physical injury, a broken arm, or a cut or laceration, it is common sense to know that it takes time to mend that wound and restore you to health. The same is also true for other injuries of the heart and mind. We injure in many ways through the simple course of living life and experiencing the loss of things we care about in life. Relationships and the people we rely on leave the most significant marks when they change, end, and leave our lives. They leave wounds behind that are just as real and often more severe than the physical ailments mentioned above.

It has long been said that time will heal all wounds, and that is often the case. However, we will never be the same person again, which is challenging for most people. We liked the way things were before and didn’t want them to change into something else. But the reality is they did, and all they left behind is the scar on your soul that only you can see and feel. But like all things, there is a time to heal: a time to grow and move on.

The Space Inside You

When one thing leaves your life, it creates a space for something better to enter and fill that space inside of you. However, this is not a smooth transaction to make because our minds often fight against this. We remember the right and long for the security of the past. Realizing the harsh reality that something is over and it is time to move on to whatever is next is difficult to do. Much of it has to do with your focus. Imagine you are standing in a room occupied by yourself and the person you loved, or the thing you enjoyed. The room has many doors, and the one you love just left through one of them. This loss leaves you alone in the space of that room, staring at the door, waiting for the person or thing you care about to reenter the room. But no matter how long you look or how much concentration you place on it, nothing happens. You are in the space of that room alone with the memory of what just left you.

What about all of the other doors in your room? Each one represents the possibility of something better that can enter your life at any moment. It could be a new person who brings you the understanding and motivation you need to become the best version of yourself. It could be an opportunity to grow that you wouldn’t have entertained before. It could be both at the same time entering into your life, and all you had to do is allow them to enter through the doors they naturally come from. Step back, take a breath, and allow the best things for your present to join you. Let the past go. Let those that hurt you go. Close that door and move on.

Healing Inside Out

Every person in the world, all the people you have ever met, and all you will ever come into contact with have endured suffering of some kind. Remember that when you are going through your daily life and judging others for their behavior. It doesn’t make poor actions acceptable, but it provides a doorway for understanding and compassion. Each of us has to process our suffering in our way. No book will accurately tell you what to do because pain involves our challenges and loss. It is as unique as a fingerprint and identifies us as who we are. The only way we can heal is to recognize what happened and the fear it creates inside of us. If this can happen now, what might happen in the future? How can I find the strength to love again? Trust again? Believe again? Trust my instincts again?

The answer to these questions lies inside, in the thoughtful evaluation of what happened. We all want to know if we are strong enough to survive the loss we are suffering. We also have to find out if we are enough for the world and those who live in it. Just being ourselves, can we ever make ourselves happy and fulfill the life of someone else? The answer will only arrive if we put the fear to the side and try to step past it. That step may be to trust someone again. It may be to trust yourself again. To find your sense of humor and use it to enhance the lives of those you come into contact with. It takes courage and strength to do this, so when you do, you will find out precisely what you are capable of as a person and what you are not—a precious and challenging thing to know.

Is it Time For You?

You will know when it is time for you to move forward when you do. Until then, you will be reexamining the past, wallowing in the mistakes, and living in times that existed before rather than focusing on what might be in the future. That sounds simple, but it is the truth of the matter. You have made mistakes in the judgment of others and trusted the wrong people. What did you learn from this? What positives can you take forward in your life? It is easy to be negative and carry anger in your heart for those who have lied to you or deceived you. But that is only going to limit your potential to grow.

Forgiveness is the path to healing. Forgive the people who have hurt you because they are who they are. Just because you thought or wished they were someone else changes nothing. People are who they are. Forgive them for hurting you, and forgive yourself for trusting them and allowing them to do that to you. It is the healthiest thing you can do. It also determines what your character consists of. You can’t control if someone else accepts deception, dishonesty, or just lack of expression as a norm of life. Understand the scope of what you can control is within the confines of your physical and mental realm. Forgive and move forward. There is nothing else we can do but wallow in self-pity and live in the past that no longer exists. Choose to heal from the inside, and the outside will reflect the more favorable result. Knowing that you are better as a person and more reliable than you were before will allow you to do the things you dream of and to become the best version of yourself.

“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.” Tori Amos

“We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion.” Max de Pree

“It’s when we start working together that the real healing takes place.” David Hume

“The place of true healing is a fierce place. It’s a giant place. It’s a place of monstrous beauty and endless dark and glimmering light. And you have to work, really, really hard to get there, but you can do it.” Cheryl Strayed

“To me, forgiveness is the cornerstone of healing.” Sylvia Fraser

“Hate is self-destructive. If you hate somebody, you’re not hurting the person you hate. You’re hurting yourself. And that’s a healing. It’s a real healing, forgiveness.” Louis Zamperini

“It’s time to start thinking differently about money and debt and start the healing process – and the process toward wealth and freedom. ‘Freedom from Bad Debt’ can get you started.” Robert Kiyosaki