Life is a short ride and the older I get, the more I look at the value of experiences over the value of things. Sometimes we get so entrenched in the ruts of our routines that to do something totally different and outside the normal is going to make you look at everything from a different perspective. Skydiving is that kind of thing. I had never said, “Gee, I think I should go skydiving.”  But when someone you care about asks you to share the experience with her, you jump! Physically and metaphorically.

I am blessed to have a significant human who wants to do different things. So It was set to happen, I was not frightened or worried about doing it because many people have done it and most don’t die.  So I wasn’t worried and I also have been realizing more and more, there is less time ahead of me in this life then there is behind me, I had better spend it experiencing all I can, and doing what I want.  So our skydiving adventure kicked off.

False Start

The first time we were scheduled for our jump we got there early because we had to take a class to teach us how to be safe and sign a million forms that will absolve New England Skydive if something horrible should happen to us. We watched a video and talked about arching and not grabbing stuff behind us when falling through the air. All pretty quick and easy, but there was one problem, clouds. If it is too cloudy then they are not allowed to jump because there is a danger they would open the chute and float into a tree.

Since we didn’t have control over that we enjoyed the time hanging out waiting to see if it would open up. It didn’t and we had to reschedule for the next week. Having been there before was a help because you knew what to expect and what the preparations would be like. This time it was high skies and we were definitely going to be falling out of a plane. Reality sets in.

Power of Heights

All people have a natural and healthy fear of heights. Some are debilitated by it and others handle it easily. I am able to compartmentalize the concepts. I know we are high up and that is different. As we rode up in the plane, we weren’t all that nervous and we were looking forward to the experience. It is like anything, the anticipation can get you if you think about it too much. Really, you have no idea what to expect, but you soon will. Mastering a height of 14,000 feet is incomprehensible until you are at that height and about to let gravity take its course. Even though you know it is pretty safe, there is still a chance, a small one, that your last moment could be coming up shortly.  But you put that on the back burner and do what you have to.  I was trying to take in the whole experience as we got higher and higher.

Free Fall

Time is a human concept created to allow us to organize our activities. I know this is

true because once I jumped out of a plane, there was a minute or so of free falling. Just falling really fast somewhere between 120 and 160 mph.  In that minute, a thousand new experiences and thoughts came to me. Playing it back in my mind, there is no way that you can put the label of time on it.  I was being videoed during the fall so I thought I would be cool and calm while falling to the ground. Look at any of the pictures and that is far from what came out of me. Here is a short list of the sensations, thoughts, and feelings I remember. There was a feeling of joy and peace for the experience.   There was no fear -I felt uniquely happy, it is like being a kid again and doing something, without expectation or responsibility, just for the fun of it and that expression came out, uncontrollably.

I was laughing throughout the whole thing.  Nobody would know it because I was moving so fast but it was the laughter of the soul that doesn’t come out too often. As adults, we spend our time suppressing our emotions and not letting people know we are happy, sad, mad or anything.  In fact, we do this so well it becomes uncomfortable to see others express emotions. But in the free fall joy was the feeling

and expressing it was not only desirable but unstoppable.  -It is cold up there, it was 90 degrees on the ground, up there falling was cold, not freezing but comparatively cold.  I think I would compare it to a crisp day in November.  – When the emotions flow out of you uncontrollably you remember the good parts of emotions and the love of life that connects you to everybody and everything.  Then the cord is pulled and you jerk up and the fall is over. Was it a minute, an hour, or a day? Who is to say. It was in that moment where I had my only real moment of doubt, would the parachute open? It did and we were relaxed and floating.

Floating

The floating part was somewhere between 5-10 minutes as gravity did it’s slow work and pulled us toward the ground. My jump partner made small talk, “There is Lake Winnepesaki over there.”   and “The ocean is out that way!” But honestly I wasn’t listening, I was just trying to put it all into perspective and understand that I was still thousands of feet above the ground.  We worked our way down and I looked to find my significant other floating in the sky and she survived too. We worked our way to the ground and finally landed with a thump on my butt. It didn’t hurt and I was happy I had the experience and I didn’t get motion sickness or anything.

What I learned

First I learned that the change in temperature from the fall to the ground was significant and I started sweating a lot.  But more importantly, it has taken days for the experience to sink in. It still is a little bit. All of your worries of today really don’t mean anything more than your mind makes them. You can leave them behind free falling in the sky. I think my life did flash before my eyes and I know I am happy about some of it and not as happy about other parts. There are things I am afraid to do and that really seemed silly in the circumstances.  Who cares what others think of you or your life choices. It is silly.

The long-standing refrain of thought that has been guiding me, took even more significance. I have less time before me than behind me, make the most of it and experience all the things you want to.  Spend time with the people you want, do the things you want to do and make choices based on how your heart thinks.  Absolutely reject the judgment of others it is only giving away your power.

Would I do it again? Yes probably, but not today or tomorrow. There are other mountains to climb and experiences to have, but I will carry this experience with me always.