Tag Archives: Hilton writing

Who Am I?

what makes me me
What makes me, me?

Who Am I?

Today when I think about myself, I don’t feel different from the person I was at younger moments of my life.  Yet I know that when I look in the mirror, that person has seen some things, been quite a few miles, and hopefully gained some wisdom. I  think we all ponder what factors make us unique in a world that is constantly trying to make us as uniform as possible.

I think that it is kind of mind-boggling to think that of all of the billions and billions of people that have ever existed in the history of the earth, that there has never before been anyone who is exactly like me, and there never will be another again. The same is true for all of us, and there is something in that knowledge that forces us to take a little responsibility for our actions and the lives they create.

I am a one-of-a-kind original, as all people are, which is something powerful to think about.  But still, I want to express what makes me a unique individual.

My Power

The first thing that you have to look at is the attributes  I was born with, from my personality, which is uniquely my own,  to how I react to and interact with the world.  These actions are all mine and always have been.  I think that I have contained the same personality and been the same person since I

I am what I am
I am what I am………awesome!

I was able first to be aware of life around me. Sometimes, I take things too personally, and I don’t give up on others very easily. Even when they have given up on me. I love to learn, and that is my real superpower because it allows me to continually grow and become a better person simply by using my brain.  I have always put people into two categories. One is the sponges; these are people who soak up everything in their lives and learn from them. Taking the valuable and squeezing out the things which don’t matter.  The second is rocks, hard and impenetrable. These people are so busy being right in who they are; they don’t absorb anything new and valuable. Growth is impossible. Which type of person are you?

My personality has been influenced and cajoled by the experiences that life has given me. My upbringing programmed me, and although I don’t think anyone meant me any harm, I have been spending my life unraveling the limiting beliefs I was instilled with as a child, from money issues to relationship knowledge. But in essence, the person at the core of my being is the same one who started this journey, just a more complex version.

My History

The second reason I am me is my family and our history.  Each of the people of all relationships that touched my life, from my parents, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings, has all left a mark and helped mold me into the person I am today. Being brought up as the second child of four was the most influential portion of my childhood. The activities we participated in as a family were the first lessons in what is important.

Whether it was the direct lessons, they taught me, like be polite or don’t steal. Or the indirect lessons that they taught by showing kindness, compassion, and caring for others, I am indebted to my family for much of what I am today and for what I will become in the future. I often recall all of my grandparents; now they are all gone, those thoughts are all that is left.  What would my grandparents think about the world as it is today, I wonder?

You will choose who you are

learning from life
This was me at 5 years old. What advice I would give him.

Thirdly, I think that your life experiences make a big impact on who you are and, even more importantly, your reactions to the things that life throws at you. The past year has been a reminder to me about the yin and yang of life, how there always seems to be a dichotomy in all things. Where great good exists, there is the potential for great bad. I know this is true because that was my life in 2018.

There are circumstances you love, wishing they would last forever, and some which aren’t so nice to experience. With each experience, pleasant or difficult, you will always have the choice of what you take from it. In fact, often stressful, painful experiences are often the most educational, motivational, and ultimately valuable moves.  How to grow, heal and forgive are often the most valuable residues of the suffering we face.

You alone are responsible for deciding if you learn something and move forward or be so devastated that you can only look backward with regret.

This is a personal choice that nobody can make for you, but one has gone a long way in defining who I am today and why I am me.

Many factors will cause us to reevaluate our lives, the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or perhaps the ending of a relationship.

That new perspective can catapult you into one of two directions, forward to accomplishment or backward in regret and despair.  Sounds harsh, but there are only two ways you can go every day in the life: you are getting better, or you are getting worse, nobody stays the same.

Who am I in my own thoughts? To quote Lady Ga Ga, I was born this way, and there is really no other way I would rather be. I have spent too much time in my life worrying about what other people think of the actions I take and how they may look to them. The only person I really need to be concerned with is myself.  I choose to base my life choices on strong, positive values like kindness, compassion, understanding, honesty, and integrity.

In the words of Carly Simon, “Nobody does it better.” I am the best me I can be, and that will have to be alright with everyone. Welcome to August 2021!! It’s a pleasure to make it this far.

 

What I Like About People

What is the most desirable trait another person can possess?

What_I_Like_About_You_title_cardI think it is impossible to pick one trait another person can possess. So many factors contribute to a personality and allow you to get to know someone in a real and genuine way. So many people I have met don’t show you their true selves anyway because you would stay far away if they did.

 To narrow the multitude of traits to one would be much too difficult to do in the short time I have to write this to give five traits I think are desirable in others.  I could probably come up with twenty without working too hard, but the list of five will have to do. I am sure they are easy to find.

Be  Positive Or Go Home

Many people spend so much time worrying about the things they don’t have that they miss out on all of the great things right in front of them. The great thing 05d3a5f9a3a2203c98679a3a91b88b66is that this behavior is all choice.

 It is raining out.  One person complains incessantly and lets it ruin their day and everyone around them.  The other looks at it as a great opportunity to wear that colorful raincoat and those new rain boots.

 Being positive is a state of mind, and the negative person is always a chore to spend time with.  Being with a positive person makes the time fly by because it is enjoyable no matter what happens.

 Life is only going to give you a finite collection of experiences, and it is your decision if you want not to enjoy them.  I prefer to enjoy each of them to the best of my ability, and positive people make that happen. So you really have to choose your company well. If someone does not see the positive, think about finding someone who will.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

There are few people in the world that you can trust to be honest about important things. That doesn’t mean little white lies should always be frowned on because Honesty 22sometimes people don’t need to know your opinion. However, open and honest communication must build any type of relationship, romantic or friendship.

 The big things have to be dealt with honestly.  From your hopes and dreams to financial matters, honesty is not only the best policy but the only policy I think leads to long-term success in building a relationship that will last longer than a short six months.

Just because you haven’t been “caught” in a lie, once you lie, the relationship changes; usually, you are lying because you are hiding something. Whatever that is. Something you did or something about yourself: dishonesty is a hurtful, painful thing to impose on someone you theoretically care about.

 Once you start hiding things from someone you love, the list of things you are hiding will continue to grow.  Soon you won’t be able to remember which things you should be hiding.

When the truth comes out, and it will eventually, no explanation can work. So always be honest, stop doing things that you would have to lie about, and be much happier. But, more importantly, so will all the people in your life.

Laughing with Me Not At Me

222333Being able to laugh at life and, more specifically, at my sense of humor is one trait I look for. In addition, I enjoy laughing and sharing a laugh with someone else.

There is no way you can do that with someone sober in thought all the time.  Laughter is the best medicine for almost any problem.

 Some believe that laughter can lower your blood pressure and help you lose weight.  All I know is that laughter makes you happy and makes you feel good. Have you ever been mad when you have laughed uncontrollably? Of course not.  There is nothing to do but appreciate the humor of the situation.

 There are only so many moments in life, and it seems like we shouldn’t waste the funny ones spending time with people who have little to no sense of humor. Or spend too much time worrying about themselves to see the joy in many moments. So I don’t judge them, I prefer to leave them sitting in a quiet, dark house, and I will enjoy the laughter that comes naturally with life.

The Smart Choice

beauty-9Intelligence is another trait that I look for in others.  I do not know where I would rate myself on the scale of intelligence, but I know that I value the brains and want to spend time with these people. The intellect of the company you keep will determine how much you can gain from those interactions. Intelligence is one of the most attractive qualities I have seen in a woman. The ability to think, theorize, teach, and grow is the ultimate in individualism.

 Perhaps I hope it will rub off on me, but I know that intellect and intelligence are desirable.  There is something about a smart woman that makes my knees go weak.  I am not sure if intelligence is that way for everyone, but it is definitely for me.  There is always time for silliness in life, but also there is a time for serious discussion and thought. It is nice to have someone around who can share competently in both.

I could probably list many more traits like kind, caring, loving, punctual, accepting, tough, athletic, talented,  and that is without much thought. The fact of the matter is that there are many great people in the world, and they all have a unique set of traits that make them special, and I appreciate them all. But that still leaves the question for you:

What is the most desirable trait another person can possess?

One other trait must appreciate Dire Straits…