Tag Archives: Honesty

Happiness is an Inside Job

finding happinessI don’t know about you, but finding happiness in life depends on my perceptions of things and the people around me.   When you focus your actions around the things you can control (inside/out)and avoid letting the stuff outside of your experience, you can’t control the behavior you are living outside in. You will continually find yourself living at the whims of the things that happen to you rather than dictating what you would like to happen to you.

There seem to be two choices in life. Either I live from the outside in or from the inside out. The choice dictates how large the portion of happiness I  experience at any particular time is. But what does it mean to live from the inside out? There are factors we can control in life and others outside of us that we do not. We are blessed with the choice of the outside or inside dominating our consciousness, so we control the amount of happiness we experience. Awesome!

From the Outside In Not Finding Happiness

Too often, We can find ourselves allowing the things and the people who come into our lives to dictate our mood. A great example of this would be when a finding happinessperson cuts you off in traffic, and you let that act affect your mood negatively, your anger rises, and you let your whole day get away from you. When we allow others’ decisions and choices to dictate our moods and actions, we are far from finding happiness in life. It can be the same as the people we care about. If they are in a bad mood for no fault of your own or are mad about something else, it is all out of your control.

That leads to me not taking responsibility for my life. It is too easy to send blame in the direction of whatever or whoever has changed my mood. I blame the traffic, blame the crowd, blame loved ones, or blame my friends. All of these are a cop-out because the only one who can choose to be angry or suffer because of someone else’s act is you. All you can control in this situation is your reaction to someone or something. Make sure it comes from a place of love. Finding happiness starts with accepting responsibility for our actions and lives, which means seeing the outside influences for what they are.

From the Inside Out

This is when you are at your best because the opposite of what is described above is happening. All thoughts and emotions about life events come from inside, and we choose their influence on us. We do not have to be angry unless we decide to be. There is no need to be frustrated unless we choose to be. We don’t have to let the non-stop external stimulus dictate our mood because the choices are made from our positive perspective, accepting full responsibility for all aspects of our lives. When your emotions radiate from inside yourself out, they will be more positive, and they will also radiate outward from you either positively or negatively.

This is the ultimate responsibility because when you choose the reactions that you experience, your true self is allowed to come through. Each of us has this ability, but it gets clouded through the lens of what society has told us is essential, rather than making decisions based on what we feel is right or wrong. There is no unhealthy attachment to things outside of you because you’re living from the thoughts, words, and actions inside of yourself.

You Are The Shot Caller for Finding Happiness

finding happiness
Whatever Walter White says goes!

Living from the inside out allows us to be the best representation of ourselves that we can be. What the media tells you about how you should look no longer matters. Finding happiness does not come from what “they” tell you to do, be or look like; it isn’t relevant anymore. What they ask you to enjoy isn’t a part of your story anymore  (unless you allow it), and you are becoming your best self if you pay attention to the thoughts and emotions that radiate from you.

You are responsible for your moods and emotions because what you think, say, and do comes from inside you and radiates in waves out into the world rather than the other way around. Your inner goodness is a force that needs to be shared with the world. We are all happier when we focus on what we can control and make good choices and leave the things we can’t control, helping ourselves and others find happiness. Please focus on the things you can manage and push them in the direction you want to go. You have no idea what power you possess until you focus on deploying it in a valuable and vital way from the inside out.

“You can’t teach anybody anything, only make them realize the answers are already inside them.”
– Galileo Galilei

“How soon will you realize that the only thing you don’t have is the direct experience that there’s nothing you need that you don’t have?”
– Ken Keyes, JR

“Uncertainty is the only certainty, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”
— John Allen Paulos

“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”
— Sydney Banks

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”
— Maya Angelou

Following The High Road

What Road Are You Traveling? 

high-roadAll of us are duplicitous by nature. There is the person we allow the world to see, and then there is the one we keep hidden from ourselves. All people live in this duality, and for many, it causes a constant struggle. Two paths are presented to us. One is the high road, and the other is low, based on the moral decisions we make every moment of every day.

The Direction is Clear

Positive moral decisions based on the energy of caring, love, honesty, understanding, etc., are made on the high road. Whereas the negative moral decisions are guided by lying, cheating, intolerance, rigidity, hate, or judgment are found on the low road.

dotherightthingIt has always been peculiar that there is no middle ground. Whether you are traveling the high or the low road, the middle road is like riding on a picket fence; impossible to get there and more challenging to maintain balance.

Sometimes the choices are easy, and doing the right thing is transparent and beneficial to you.  Unfortunately, the low road is far easier and looks like it will be so beneficial that you can’t resist the urge.

“I’ll only do this just this once,” you say, with a froth of good intentions on your mind.  But it’s a funny thing about traveling the low road. Once you get that path, it is harder to get back up than we could have imagined.

The high road may appear complicated, and I wish I could say I always clung Integrity-Is-Doing-The-RIght-Thing-When-No-One-Is-Watching1to it.  I haven’t and have paid the price dearly.  As I get older, though, I strive for the high road more and more in almost everything I do.

I am not perfect, but I strive for it.  You don’t have to be perfect, be honest, treat people well, and not be cruel to others.

Remember, we live an existence of duality, and the struggle is constant between good and evil, right and wrong, the high and the low.   Be vigilant, and you might stick to the high road. No matter what happens, you are guaranteed to have the opportunity to learn something.  Or you can choose to live in ignorance. 

“To every man, there openeth a way, and ways and away. And the high soul climbs the high way, and the low soul gropes the low: And in between, on the misty flats, The rest drift to and fro. But to every man, there openeth a high way and a low, and every man decideth the way his soul shall go.”   ~ John Oxenham

 

 

Knowledge Will Change You

BeliefOur minds work overtime sometimes, and we must establish a clear representation of our thoughts, goals, and perspectives on life to find our direction based on the things we truly believe. All knowledge will change you and move your consciousness one way or another and leave you with a final set of core beliefs representing your experiences and how you choose to interact with the world. Looking at my experiences over the last year, I needed to revamp my collection of what I think and look at other people.

So here is the current version of MY Mission Statement. Presented in no particular order, here are a few things I hold as truths in my life.

We Are All Connected

Call it God, the Universe, or whatever your religion dictates, but to me, we are all connected through a divine order. All people have the same abilities for great love and equal power to commit evil, which is just a part of this crazy game called life. We are given individual gifts at birth to make our unique mark on the world if we choose to do so. When you look at all things, events, and people in your life, you can see the thread that connects everything.

This connection runs through the hearts of all people. There is an illusion that our experiences are seperate events; a universal force is running between us all, connecting all of our stories. Remember this the next time judgment of others and separation’s effects enter your life. There but for the good fortune of your circumstances, go you. There is no difference between you and anyone else but choices and details. We are all connected.

Our Beliefs Control Our Lives

Each of us has developed throughout our lives a core belief system. We established most of these beliefs early on in life. These are limiting beliefs that delay or even stop our development completely. Our expectations were built by our parents, grandparents, siblings, teachers, religion, and peers. Most were developed before age ten and have remained with us to this day. Our beliefs have to power to achieve goals or stop us from becoming what we should be.

The great thing is that all beliefs can change at any point in life when we look and find irrefutable evidence that contradicts them. All of the “you can’t,” “no’s,” “you’re not good enough’s,” “You can’t make a living doing that’s,” or any other limiting statement from your youth making you feel like you are not good enough can be eliminated — the processing and acceptance of new information about you and your abilities.

Here is a secret; you are powerful and can do anything you set your mind to accomplish. You have the chance to try anything. Look honestly at the barriers stopping you; most often, you will find insecurities and limits that we place on ourselves because of limiting beliefs we choose to accept. Accept new ideas to guide you.

Your Actions Define YOU

Talk is cheap; what you do is the definition of your character. I have heard the soft and sympathetic words that were worth nothing but have been blessed by the actions of many great people. Saying you are something means nothing, and being that thing means everything.

Each day is a new opportunity to take action toward a goal or a dream that you have. Take a step, mail a letter, make a call, or do whatever small thing you can that will lead you toward your goal. Action is the power source for people’s dreams and will cancel out fear.

Every person that has ever been born has had a dream of some kind, and there are no exceptions. When a person takes action, they can make their dream come true. If that action leads to failure, then at least you know, and a direction more suitable to you may show itself from the effort.

Thinking Positively Leads to Positive Results

Bad stuff happens to everyone at some point in life; how you deal with it is crucial. Life is full of things that we define as good or bad. Positive thinking is not about ignoring the “bad” in life and always looking on the bright side, although those factors result. Positive thinking is bringing the focus of love, understanding, kindness, acceptance, and peace to all you experience—ignoring your counterpart’s hate, judgment, separation, meanness, and conflict.

All experiences have the power to bring the positive or negative inside a person to the surface, and what emotions and thoughts you let dominate your behavior will decide what actions come from you and what feelings are happening inside you. All things are just things until we assign a value to them and determine how we look at them.

All People Have Value

A person’s value is difficult to remember when I am angry or someone has hurt me, but that doesn’t change the fact that I believe this is true. People live differently, make poor decisions, and look differently, but they are all valuable and unique individuals.   All that separates us from the circumstances of another is mere chance. At our core, we are all beings of love, and understanding and are looking for acceptance in the world.

We are all born with a unique gift that can contribute to the world’s good. It is the meaning of life to find out what that gift is and how to use it. Some people lose their way through the experience of life and bury their talents too profoundly to be retrieved, but the reward is still there. With the right nurturing, perhaps it could resurface.

Gratitude is the Gateway to Abundance

How often do you appreciate all the positive things in your life? Moving through life each day is easy; let events and people swirl past you without absolute acknowledgment. Stop for a moment and give thanks for each experience. Even when the lessons are not what you are looking for, they will provide clues as to the direction you should be moving in.

Being grateful and putting yourself in that mindset each day creates an energy of acceptance around you, and that energy attracts more into your life. What you focus on multiplies; if you are grateful for what you have, you will have more things to be thankful for having in your life. Take time and reflect a bit each day on the blessings in your life. Breathing in and out and having an experience is a blessing many lose daily.

Forgiveness is Necessary to Move Forward

To forgive someone for something they did that harmed you is very difficult. It can’t just be lip service of saying you forgive; it has to be inside your heart. The only one who can give forgiveness is you, and the sooner you give it, the sooner you can move on. Letting go of pain, sadness, anger, or any other negative emotion is key to enjoying life.   I read somewhere that you know forgiveness occurs when you think of that person, and there is no subtle searing inside your heart. It can take a conscious effort, but with forgiveness comes freedom and strength.

Embrace Love, Avoid Fear

All people carry this inside of them, and the one you pay attention to will determine how much you enjoy this ride we call life. Focus on the love-based emotions like kindness, understanding, generosity, acceptance, patience, and love while avoiding the fear-based feelings and thoughts of anger, hate, separation, jealousy, stereotyping, and judgment. It can be harder to do than it sounds, but the effort is well worth it.

Remember that fear will be a continual battle for you throughout your life. It will attack you both outwardly with dangers real and imagined. It will also subtly invade your life through indirect methods, invading your thoughts and being powered by your emotions. All things will work out if you let them. Some powers exist which are far wiser than you. Learn to trust them.

Our beliefs are essential to the type of life that we live. If you do not work to control them, they will direct you. We all have to live with the results.

Honest Soul

There seem to be many layers of human behavior I can’t seem to grasp, in others and myself.  Why we are not more honest is one of them. I was told once that all people lie at least once every day. I argued against that, but after analyzing my behavior, I can see that there are times we are all less than honest, despite one’s good intentions. They may be white lies not to hurt someone’s feelings, but an untruth is an untruth. So my hope is that after reading this, and thinking about our behavior, one will be conscious of how honest they are in thought, words, and actions every day of life.

White Lies

We must agree on the first honest thing is, “we are all experienced liars.” Everyone has done it for various reasons, but honesty about that is an excellent place to start. White lies are the “harmless” lies we tell others to avoid causing unnecessary pain. These fibs may be a good practice, but I would rather know the truth. When you lie in this fashion, you choose someone else, what they can deal with, and what information they need.

What is the limit when it comes to being dishonest? Where do you draw the line? Become conscious of your thoughts when it comes to honesty. Be aware of the words you choose and take action to be more honest in life. I believe that even moral wrongs are still wrong. Give people in your life the power to decide how to deal with things. That is how they will develop. It isn’t your responsibility to hide the truth in any way.

Deception and Perception

All you need to do is look at social media accounts, and you will see that honesteveryone is very talented at crafting a story of their life. They want others to see. Many of our thoughts, words, and actions are less than honest because we show what we want the world to see. It is natural to want to shine the most favorable light on your life, but it is still not honest. The things we omit are still not accurate. What other people think doesn’t matter. It is all just a thought in your mind of fear.

What kind of world would this be if people were honest all the time? Most people are guarded in this way because we are afraid that we couldn’t be accepted if people knew the truth. In relationships, this is also true. We all “hide our crazy” initially because we fear that nobody could take us if they knew about the flaws. Yet, I argue it is the flaws that create the masterpiece, the uniqueness that is beautiful in its own right. People are afraid to be honest because some may reject them. Be realistic about who you are and what you think in thought, word, and action. Those who run from simple words or actions make your life better by leaving. Let them go.

Value of Truth

If you took all the money in the world away, what value do we each have? The amount of honesty we bring to the world is the highest currency there would be. There is comfort in being honest in life. If you do not accept lies from yourself, it is easy to spot them in others. How correct someone else decides to be is their karma and their problem. You can only worry about yourself and the level of honesty you bring to the world. I think that to be the best version of yourself, being honest about your actions and, more importantly, your feelings are a requirement.

Spend as little time possible worrying about how your thoughts, words, or actions will affect others or their perception of you and be concerned about being honest. In the end, your name is all that you have anyway. Focus on sincerity throughout the day. Make a note of anything less than truthful. Please correct it. See what happens.

The main reasons people don’t always tell the truth are:
  • Fear of harm: The most straightforward reason to understand why we lie is for self-protection, including self-deception, to prevent damage to ourselves. This harm can be either physical or mental.
  • Fear of conflict: To some degree, we all fear to argue.
  • Fear of punishment: When growing up, how often did we lie about how well we did in school or started fighting? How often do we cover up our mistakes and transgressions?
  • Fear of rejection: Sometimes, our insecurities are the foundation of why we lie to each other because we want to remain popular in our relationships. Typically, it is harmless boasting to make ourselves appear more admirable to other people.
  • Fear of loss: This is usually the loss of personal objects, such as money or expensive valuables. Greed is the foundation for this reason and can be found in us. We often lie to make ourselves more desirable to other people too. Most conventional, people lie for fear of alienating their significant other. Other times, when our self-esteem starts to decline, we even lie to ourselves as a means to prevent loss of morale.
  • Altruistic Reasons: We often lie to help our friends and loved ones. How often do we flattery someone to make them feel better? Or don’t tell the whole truth because we are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings? Telling something you don’t think is true to make them feel better is the only selfless reason we lie.

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” -Thomas Jefferson

“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.” – Spencer Johnson

“Honest hearts produce honest actions.”- Brigham Young

 

Why People Lie

what is honesty?
Live honestly

 

***Always Be Honest

How much is your integrity worth?

What can you gain by being dishonest that you can truly enjoy?

A wise man once told me: “If your word is worth nothing, then neither are you.” That statement has stayed with me over the years, and the older I get, the more I analyze everything I say and the value of the truth. I was also once told that everybody lies at least once a day. At first, I was angry about that comment. But then you look at all the things we say not to upset anyone. Looking at the thoughts you have and your words that result, evaluating them for honesty is essential for developing your integrity and how much other people can trust you. Let’s look at why people are dishonest and the price they pay for doing this. These are the actions we take in dishonesty.

Definition of Honesty

Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and denotes positive, virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, and straightforwardness, along with the absence of lying, cheating, or theft. That seems like a pretty straightforward definition, and not very difficult to see the benefits of making this choice. It all begins with the decision we make every day in our lives that decides how our honesty will affect our lives. Nobody can choose to be honest for you, and the entirety of your life will reflect the amount of goodness you value.

Additionally, an honest person will inform others of the opportunities for growth and self-actualization. There is no room for silence in the moments when a situation calls for your honest evaluation to assist a person find a better path. Even though most people don’t want to hear the uncomfortable truths, is it better to lie? Be open about your life and your philosophy with all you meet. They will know what to expect from you and trust what you say. Doing something or saying something to manipulate others into doing something beneficial for you is deceitful. Be honest, even when it is difficult, and in the long run, it will work out for the best.

Why Honesty Is Difficult

When you look at being honest and telling the truth, it would seem simple to practice. When you make a statement, make a truthful one. However, it appears that being honest is a little more complicated than that. So many people don’t want to hear the truth. Here are some of the main reasons people don’t always tell the truth are:

  • Fear of harm: The most straightforward idea to understand why we lie is for self-protection, including self-deception, to prevent injury to ourselves. This harm can be either physical or mental. However, what is the damage? A momentary uncomfortableness? You have to measure if the benefit is worth your integrity.
  • Fear of conflict: To some degree, we all fear conflict because it is painful and uncomfortable. Life is more comfortable when things flow smoothly. But creating calm with lies is only delaying the inevitable storm, and it will come with higher intensity when it arrives.
  • Fear of punishment: When growing up, how often did we lie about how well we did in school or started a fight? How often do we cover up our mistakes and transgressions? Accept responsibility for all things. We make excuses that give all of our power away, and accepting responsibility puts all the power in your hands.
  • Fear of rejection: Sometimes, our insecurities are the foundation of why we lie to each other because we want to remain popular in our relationships. Typically, it is harmless boasting to make ourselves appear more admirable to other people. Better to be true to yourself and who you are than to live a lie. If people don’t like who you are, there is no need to spend time with them.
  • Fear of loss: This is usually the loss of personal objects, such as money or expensive possessions. Greed is the foundation for this reason and can be found in us. We often lie to make ourselves more desirable to other people, too, fearing the loss of that relationship. Some people lie for fear of alienating someone they care about and again losing that relationship. Other times, when our self-esteem starts to decline, we even lie to ourselves as a means to prevent loss of morale. No matter what you are afraid of losing, better to address the issues head-on with honesty. Then you can take real action to find a result that will benefit your life.
  • Altruistic Reasons: We often lie to help our friends and loved ones. How often do we flattery someone to make them feel better? Or don’t tell the whole truth because we are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings? This is the only selfless reason why we lie. However, it doesn’t pay off in the long run. Better to be honest so that all people can work from a place of knowledge and acceptance. Lies are harmful and build negative energy in the situations of your life.

It comes down to a matter of integrity. Do your words have any truth in them? Should anybody trust and listen to what you say? Being honest is essential because nobody will ever imagine or believe you if you are not trustworthy. If you lay about one thing, you would lie about another. Where do you draw the line morally? It is a slippery slope once you start to blur the lines of acceptable behavior.

Integrity and trust are not things that you can easily replace. Value them as much as gold. Those who lie continuously and repeatedly will pay the price in all areas of their lives. If you can’t trust yourself to tell the truth, how can you ever trust anyone else?

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” -Thomas Jefferson

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.” – Spencer Johnson

Honest hearts produce honest actions.“- Brigham Young

To be persuasive, we must be believable; to be believable, we must be credible; credible we must be truthful.“- Edward R. Murrow

 

No Patience

Patience- the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

One of the more difficult things to master in life is to be patient. We all have desires and ideas we want to manifest for ourselves. Sometimes though, we have to practice a little patience before what we want becomes a reality in the world. Patience is a skill we can develop over time, and you learn from experience that sometimes it takes a little while for favorite things to happen.

Facing It

Let’s face it, the best meals are not produced instantly, and they take time. That is the way of most valuable and durable things. It would be best if you had time to adjust to situations, develop skills, or make room for whatever is coming your way. You can have a valuable talent if you maintain a positive attitude while waiting for your goal to be achieved or your dream to come true. The younger you are, when you start developing patience, the easier the trials of life will be for you. It all begins with an awareness of your thoughts, the emotions that result, the words we speak, and the actions we choose because of the best. Think of something that requires your patience and practice this skill right now.

Letting Things Develop

It is human nature to want things immediately. We live in a world of instant gratification. All of our whims and desires are brought to us instantly at the drop of a hat. Food, entertainment, information, or just about anything you want is available right now. All we have to do is ask. If you have to wait 20 seconds for an answer from Google, most are very impatient. So I understand patience is not something the world develops today in any significant quantity. But we should try to build some patience. Some things should always take a little time, which is not bad.

In life, dreams are not achieved overnight. They start with a thought, and then we take action to begin to come together in the best way possible for you. When you hurry or force things, they don’t work outright, and the goal desired is pushed further back because of your actions. It also makes it easy to give up if we don’t get immediate results. All situations provide an opportunity to learn something. Even if that something is difficult, it may be the key to accomplishing the long-term goals you are looking at. Be patient and enjoy the process of creating a dream. Those experiences will become the cherished memories of life.

Not Your Door

Honesty with yourself is always a virtue when it comes to accomplishing something—looking at your progress and evaluating the steps you have taken and the steps you need to take in the future. Sometimes we get on a patiencepath we are sure is the right way, but there is one problem after another as it develops. You have to wonder if you are moving in the right direction at these moments. That questioning is a part of developing patience. Perseverance is a virtue, but sometimes a door won’t open for you simply because it is not your door.

Your door is in another direction or on another path, and it may only be a slight alteration. Being patient and finding the right direction for you is a skill every person should develop. Too often, we are hit with initial resistance, and we assume that something isn’t for us. We only need to readjust our sails and move our ship in a different direction. The change for success may be a small one, but it is a talent to have the courage, faith, and strength to give it a try. Patience in your journey is valuable in helping you find your door.

Patience With People

Try to be patient with people in your life. We are all on a journey from beginning to end. However, very few of us are at the same point of the trip. Some people travel roads of thought and growing awareness, and others travel less intricate roads. Understand that all people are doing the best they can with the information and experience. Even though their actions make no sense to you, they are perfectly sensible to the people doing them. We can only control ourselves.

Travel your roads as best you can and let your choices and decisions represent you. Other people have their issues, and their thoughts and actions are none of my business. Even if they are making a mistake, those can be valuable learning experiences for others. As long as they are not hurting anyone else, let others gain relevant learning experiences. This patience with others is difficult, especially if you care about them. But they have to learn their way. Be patient with the process. Allow those you care about to find their way, and you do the best you can to find yours.

Finally, Be Patient with Yourself

This idea can be the most challenging form of patience to foster. You know what you want in life. You also are well aware of your weaknesses and where you have fallen short. Falling is not the end of the world, and it is just an experience you choose to learn from or be buried by. Get in the habit of looking at yourself with softer eyes than you have. After all, you are the only you there is. Development to become what you want to be can take time. Allow yourself to learn the skill, develop the talent, invent the thing, or create the painting you are dreaming of. Creating without a constant hostile barrage of self-talk will all be more comfortable.

Learn to be patient with yourself and let your talents bloom in their own time and fashion. It will all start with an increased focus on your thoughts, emotions, words, and actions.   You might find what you are looking for if you practice a little patience.

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”- Jean-Jacques Rousseau

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.”- Leo Tolstoy

 

What You STAND For

What do you stand for? That is a simple question I read last week that has been on my mind, along with another issue that I will address later. As for what I stand for, I want specific, stable things that I am striving to represent every day of my life. So I made a shortlist explaining the sort of person I want to be identified as today. This list is with the apparent exception that I may have failed to live up to these things in the past, but in that process, I have realized the extreme value each possesses and why it is so important to know what you want to stand for. It defines who you are and the experience you have in life. More importantly, how my choices and behavior will positively affect others.

Choose to be Kind

Kindness- In all things, I would like service to be the first thing I practice. All people live their own lives and have their own experiences, and their actions and behavior are theirs. I can only control myself, and I would like kindness to be the first word someone thinks of when they think of me. In my experience, a lack of compassion arises when you put your needs ahead of everyone else, leading to fear and worry. Letting this go is easier than you might think. Through a practice of kindness, you will meet all of your needs, and you will make the world a little better place. Do you stand for kindness? I hope I do.

Honesty is the Best Policy

Honesty- A friend once told me that it is human to be dishonest. That may be so because we all seem to lie an awful lot. Small lies, big lies, manipulative lies are all a part of the package. I know that I have lived in my past, mostly out of fear that I might look wrong or, more often, to avoid hurting someone else’s feelings. But it has been a while since I have consciously told a lie because I don’t care what others think of me and what I do, and I care enough about everyone I know to say the cold hard truth. I want all people I deal with to know that what I tell them will be the truth to the best of my knowledge. I don’t think I can do better than that. All things seem to flow perfectly when the truth is told. Do you stand for honesty?

What You Do When Nobody is Watching

Integrity- Along with honesty is integrity. I will do what right all the time is. Not just when it is convenient or when others are around. I will do what is right because I am there, and even if nobody else knew of my transgression, I would know, and the energy from that failure would permeate the rest of my life and cause problems. I would instead behave with integrity and do what right and decent all of the time is. I want my conscious energy to be focused on being and doing the right thing. I will know it is the right thing because it will be in my heart. I am continually seeking guidance for proper guidance. Do you stand for integrity?

Smart is Best

Intelligence– I want to be represented by the idea that all things I do will at least have a general knowledge behind them. I can’t promise to be the most intelligent person in the world, but I can be as bright as I am capable of being. This idea means I am never satisfied that I know it all. There are new things to learn and new ways to grow until the ultimate end waiting for us all occurs. I endeavor to continually learn new things, expand my horizons, and become better today than I was yesterday, just a little bit. Do you stand for intelligence?

Be Positive or Go Home

Positive Attitude-In all things, you have a choice, to be positive or negative. To complain and give away all of your power or address all situations by feeling great about them. We all feel bad sometimes, but that doesn’t mean we need to accept that part of our attitude. It is a simple choice that determines the difference in your path. You look at the flaws of the things you perceive to be missing, or you are grateful for what you do have. We always have the choice to embrace the joy in a moment. I wish all days were perfect and full of easy things to be happy about, but they will not. Life will bring challenges for you to grow. It is up to you to accept the challenge and become better or shrink from it and become its negative, scared, fearful victim. I am hoping I always seek the lesson, am grateful for it, and approach things from the mindset of joy and opportunity. Do you stand for a positive attitude?

Let’s Work Together

Cooperation– People look at the world in two primary ways: cooperation or competition. When I was a young man, I loved playing sports, and I always thought the match was the thing to prove you were better than someone else. That missed the value entirely. The real lesson was that you could rise and become better as a collective through cooperation with your teammates than you were as an individual. Great things can be done cooperatively and far surpass the selfish things that competition brings. Looking back, I value all the people that I ever was a part of a team with at whatever level. There are many situations that, in some small way, work together to allow the group’s strengths to overcome the weakness we all have as individuals, and that plan is fantastic. I want to take that into every relationship I have, personally and in business ventures, always. Do you stand for cooperation?

Better Today than Yesterday

Improvement– In my life, I have noticed that either you are getting better or you are getting worse. It is sporadic to stay the same, even for a day. So it is my goal to improve 0.01% each day somehow, but on the best days, physically, mentally, and spiritually. If I can manage to do that, then I will be a better person today than yesterday and hopefully have a more positive effect on the world than before. You are going to change in some way. I am probably choosing to be better rather than getting worse. This is often a choice to seek the other things I stand for; this should happen naturally, but it is vital to set an example for others that is positive in a world full of bad examples. Do you stand for improvement?

So there is a shortlist that I could expand upon for many pages. Maybe this is the next book idea in some way. But for today, I wanted to state what I want to stand for to guide myself in life. To help me when I have questions about what I should do. I want to say yes or no based on the things that I stand for. What is it that you stand for, not just in words, but in thoughts and actions as well?

“Self-praise is for losers. Be a winner. Stand for something. Always have class, and be humble.:- John Madden

“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.”- Peter Marshall

“You must stand for something! It does not have to be grand, but it must be a positive that brings light to someone else’s darkness.”- Anthony Carmona

 

Character Development

Character- the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.

CharacterIn our development as people, we result from the experience we endure in life. This fact is particularly actual when it comes to a person’s character. Either we have a good or bad feeling. The type we are provides a quality that is displayed clearly through a person’s thoughts, words, and actions. If you have traits you wish to improve yourself, we all have the free will to do this. Think about your character today, not just the areas you are doing well, but all of the ones you want to improve in. Character is what you do when you think nobody is looking. Remember, you are always looking. You can’t fool yourself. Consciously develop the character you want to represent you and share it with the world. It will be your legacy, one way or the other. The great news is you get to decide what impact you will have.

Character is in Constant Development

A person’s character is not chiseled in stone the day they are born, and it is developed through conscious choice over a lifetime. It has many aspects to Characterit. The way you treat others, level of honesty valued in life, consistency of behavior, the story of courage, ability to think, confidence in yourself, integrity, and many other factors all combine to create your character. We are taught many of these things, but we are continually adding to them through experience, even if we are not conscious of this process. People enter your life and change you, and a new understanding of loss or gain shifts your perspective.

Once you know that you can develop your character, there is no excuse not to find ways to improve. It involves two simple things:  1. honesty about yourself and  2. a willingness to grow and develop. Nothing is stopping you from enhancing but your self-imposed limitations. Find your strong points and celebrate them. Find areas in need of improvement, set goals to get better, take action to do just that. At the end of life, you will be the one responsible for all that you did or did not do. There is no deceiving yourself then. Don’t lie to yourself now. Develop your character exactly as you want it to be. Your choices in every moment of every day decide if your character traits or positive or negative.

Your Character Is Important

Not only will your positive or negative character influence your own life, but it will have sway over everyone you come in contact with as well. There is an energy connected to each thought we have, and positive or negative will be evident to those we have a connection with on our daily journey. Think of Characterthe people you enjoy having contact with, and think of those you don’t. With every interaction you have each day, the person you interact with has one of those two reactions. Your character determines which one.

Your choices in character will stem from your preferences of thought. It is a constant struggle to maintain the positive qualities of honesty over deceit, kindness over meanness, giving over selfishness, confidence over doubt, or love over fear. The decisions we make in character are vitally important because they determine your real value to the world and its collective consciousness. Developing a better attitude improves the world.

Tough Times Build Character

Stressful moments are, unfortunately, a part of living life. Tough times come to us, whether we feel we want them or need them. But there is an element of need we all have of roadblocks in life to grow into the best versions of ourselves. It is impossible to see what good can come from a situation when you are in a storm of pain and suffering. You are just in survival mode. But as that mode kicks in, you have to start to grow and change, or you will be overwhelmed and unhappy for the rest of your life.

Finding hidden strength and talent waiting hidden in your being is the reward for tough times. The character still maintains the things you think are correct even though the pain and sadness of life are real characters. In these extreme moments of choice, our true person is developed and revealed to the world. If you don’t like who you are becoming, then choose differently. The development of a positive life or a negative existence is all up to you and the choices you make.

Be Conscious of Your Character

CharacterThat makes the challenge today to look at your character honestly and critically. It isn’t easy to look at the fiber of our being and see where we fall short. But it is in this realistic vision your path of improvement will become evident. Do you need to be more honest? Braver? Follow through better? Be kinder? Be more accepting? Love yourself more? Whatever the points in need of improvement are, you can change and improve them. Nothing can stop you except for you. Be conscious of your character and what makes up your vital essence of today’s thoughts, words, and actions. By developing this element of your personality, you will be defined to the world: one way or another. There is no covering up or hiding from the results.

“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” –Helen Keller

Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.” –Albert Einstein

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.” –Abigail Van Buren

 

How You Treat Others Defines You

I am as hard on myself as I am on anyone I know when it comes to this statement.  How you treat others defines you. I know because this is an area I have fallen short of many times in my life. I know I haven’t always been the best person when it comes to my treatment of other people.  I have a long list of situations where I have not treated others as well as they deserve or been the kind of person I would have liked to be.  That is why it is always so hard to see people you care about fall into the same selfish traps in the way they treat others in their life.  It takes so little to be decent in the world, and I guess sometimes that price is just too much for some to pay.  I try to adopt the hope in each new day that I will be able, at this moment, at least, to treat others with kindness, caring, empathy, understanding, and consideration. That is my hope.

Only In Control Of Me

The only thing in the world we are indeed in charge of entirely is how we control ourselves. Life can and will throw all kinds of situations at you, and it is up to you how you respond. Do you quit? Become disillusioned?  Respond with anger toward those who care about you? Blame everything and everyone else? Accept responsibility for ourselves and our situations?  The only honorable way to go is to accept responsibility for where you are right now.  Because you are the person who decides what thoughts are essential to you, and those thoughts will create the world around you.

You are the only one who can control the tenor of the thoughts you focus on. Where focus goes, energy flows. If you spend your time thinking only of yourself, you will be stuck in a cycle of selfishness with no real opportunity for growth because growth comes from the things you do for and share with others. The positive or negative actions we take in our lives each day will determine how our lives grow.  This idea is particularly true in our spirituality.  It is our responsibility to look for ways to improve as people in our life.  Regardless of the circumstances we face, we choose the impact our lives have on the people around us and us. Positive or negative, this is our choice, every second of every day.  You are the only one who can control you.

Noone Left to Blame

Today, our lives are the sole responsibility because we are the creators of the thoughts behind them. You can try to blame circumstances, other people, or just bad or good luck, but whatever experiences you have resulted from your choices and actions you have taken. If you have mistreated people, you can’t be surprised when you are treated poorly by someone else.   Too often, I have blamed others for the outcomes in my life that didn’t live up to my expectations.

I would have better spent my time accepting my thoughts, words, and actions and realizing that I needed to change my ways to bring different outcomes into my life. If I was going to be selfish and self-centered and only worried about how things would affect me, then I can’t be surprised when opportunities in life that rely on others pass me by.  Our lives are a direct reflection of what we think and what we do. There is no more significant measure of what we are as people than the shape of our lives right now.

Your Qualities Define You

Finally, when looking at your definition. What are the words you would like to have associated with yourself? Honestly, look at the way you treat others, and you will find the meaning of yourself. I know many people who would shy away from some of their adjectives, although they belong to the things they say and do. You can’t be mean to someone in one breath and then claim kindness in a general sense. Service is an attribute that accompanies you all the time, or it doesn’t at all. Mean and insensitive behavior can’t be erased by wishful thinking.

But it can be undone by a change in thought and recognizing our responsibility for our actions. Each day we have a chance to represent ourselves with behaviors we stand behind and envision as beacons of our best selves.  Falling for a time doesn’t define your life; it only establishes that part of your life. No story is over until the last page turns, and the best stories are always about redemption and comebacks.  You have to ask yourself, can I change? From negative to positive? Lousy behavior to good behavior? Unhealthy to healthy? Or whatever challenge you are facing because the only person who can choose what defines you is you.

“Our past may shape us, but it doesn’t define us.” ― Alyson Noel

“We cannot let the haters of this world define us. Or frighten us into no longer being ourselves.” ― Mary E. DeMuth

“Strong people define themselves; weak people allow others to define them.” ― Ken Poirot

“Define yourself—not by how much you are loved, but by how much you love others.” ― Connor Chalfant

“Never defend yourself, but define yourself with your imagination and actions.”― Debasish Mridha M.D.

 

 

Your True Measure

Your actions define you to the world

It is natural for an individual to look at the world from the inside out. The only perspective we have had our whole life is from our own mind’s eye. Often we develop a significant concern for how others treat us in the world. The fear seeps into every interaction we have and pulls us into a more selfish existence, worrying about how people manage us? What is in this for me? What about me? Worrying about how others treat you is a narrow perspective and will limit what you can give to the world. It is far better to build a concern with how you are treating others in your life and the world around you. Being a positive force in the world involves doing positive things for people and encouraging others to be the best versions of themselves possible. It all begins with a conscious awareness of the thoughts you entertain each day—the words these thoughts lead you to utter to the world. And, of course, the actions you take display what your base thoughts are to the world. You will define yourself in thought, word, and work.

Building Your Definition

The job of our mind is to interpret the world we live in. Let’s face it; our brain tells all stories from our perspective. If there is a conflict, of course, the other party is unreasonable and demanding. We are always in the right to us. But are we? How you choose to treat others is a clear picture of who you are, and there is no hiding from it. If you spend your time judging others, then you are judgmental. If you gossip and spread rumors about others, those whispers behind people’s backs show who you are.

Conversely, your choices to be kind, accepting, and caring about the lives of others also define you. Your focus is the key to identifying you in the world. Not what you think you are, but what you are to the world. It is easy to dehumanize someone when you think of them in abstract terms, like demographics, heritage, or ethnicity. All stereotypes dehumanize people and, by your thought, degrade you. How you choose to treat the people who bother you most tells the most about you. We all make a choice each day to do these things.

Being Empathetic to Others

Our ability to practice empathy is one of the tools we have to maintain our humanity in life. Using our minds to project ourselves into another person’s situation allows us to walk around in their shoes. Once you indeed do this, you are much less likely to be harsh in your treatment of them. Understanding how someone else lives and why they do what they do doesn’t excuse poor behavior, but it can allow you to follow somebody. If you were placed in a different set of circumstances, then you might be making the same choices. Bad as they might be.

One action you can take is to be aware of other people and how your work will affect them. At least in a way that shows an awareness of the needs of another person. All people are living a story, and each one is different. You would be a modified version of yourself if you experienced an unusual childhood, growth experience, and moral influences. That is what other people are, a modified version of you. Treat them as such. Understanding, kindness, and acceptance are universally helpful, and treating people this way brings more of these things into your life.

Three Skills to Develop for Treating People well

First, learn to be an active and present listener. When someone is speaking to you, be present. Don’t let your mind wander into what you are doing tomorrow or think about the past. Focus and be there for whoever is speaking. Listening shows caring, respect and allows a person to know that they have an outlet for their thoughts. Be curious, ask questions, and let another speak.

Secondly, when you do speak, be honest in all you say. That is a simple thing but shows people that they can trust you. All of our words should have the stamp of truth on them and allow for confidence with all of those who are listening. Speak honestly and expect the same in return.

Thirdly, in all of our actions, we focus on operating with integrity. Integrity is doing the right things, even if you are the only one who knows it. Treating others with integrity makes all interactions honest and opportunities for growth. You will also be setting an example for all others to follow in their way.

Be Kind

Finally, If there is one thing to focus on in all kinds of relationships, practice kindness in your interactions with everyone. Your heart belongs to you, regardless of how someone else acts; being kind is your choice. Suppose someone else needs compassion to give it. If you don’t think they need it, give it anyways. Consideration is a gift you give to the world that it needs. How you treat others defines you and will determine your impact on the planet.

It will all begin with the primary thoughts you have in your head. The ones you choose to entertain will get the focus in your life. If you are worried about yourself, it will show in all that you do. If you are thinking about others, and their well-being, then that will show too. Also, the words you speak to others and about others will define you. Speak as if your words had magic in them because they do. Finally, your actions will be a clear picture of the world of the way you think and how you feel about things that are happening all around in everyday life. Focus on defining your contribution to the world as a positive one. Your Actions define you.

“Stop worrying yourself with how others are treating you. Just be concerned with how you are treating others.”

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”- Wayne Dyer

“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people – your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.”- Barbara Bush