Tag Archives: human experience

Avoiding the Negative Loop

October 3, 2022 Jonathan Hilton Leave a comment

This human experience can be confusing. As we try to figure out where we fit in, something changes, and we are left looking for a new equation that will lead to our success, acceptance, and happiness. But we spend time choosing and creating narrow attachments and expectations for the outcomes. If something doesn’t work out just like we think it should, that is bad, and we choose to be unhappy. When I let go of how I think the world should be and accept it, I can also find the good in each moment.

Suffering

Life is going to bring its share of challenges. No person will live for an extended period, having everything go just perfectly. If they did, there would be no opportunity for personal growth or self-development. You would be stagnant, just as you were. It w, and it is like continually being a child with no developing maturity. Suffering comes from the thought that what is happening in your life is not as you think it should be. Something is wrong and needs to be fixed. This can result from any challenge which shakes your reality.

It can be a relatively minor thing, like an annoying co-worker, to a big something like a loved one’s death. The idea you need to fix things because they are wrong will lead you to fear, worry, insecurity, resentment, criticism of others, criticism of yourself, tensions, stress, and all things which lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

What if you didn’t do that?

The alternative is to open your mind and develop a broader vision of life and the things it brings your way. Perhaps the experience you are having, no matter how unsavory or harmful, is precisely what is best for you now. You don’t have to like it, but not wanting something won’t make it go away. Dealing with the present moment will allow you to become better.

Living in the present moment, not worrying about what the future will be, or regretting the past, will allow you to make choices that honor the present and see where true fulfillment comes from. It isn’t attached to the events swirling around your life. A “good thing” here makes you happy. A “bad thing” makes you unhappy. Realizing they are all just things to which you give meaning through your mental conditioning, expectations, and attachments.

Your Power

This doesn’t mean you accept someone treating you poorly; when this occurs, you don’t take it personally as an indictment of your value and see it as a clear issue of the person mistreating you. A loved one’s death is a sad occasion, but feeling bad won’t bring anyone back to life; the reality of the situation is what it is. How you deal with it, move on from it, and see your gratitude for the departed person’s influence on your life will allow you to grow and develop your power despite the loss.

Shift of Perspective

It is not an easy shift, moving your perspective from one of the ego-defined expectations to source-centered acceptance. If a life of fulfillment is your ultimate goal, then some movement in this direction is warranted. It will allow you to not drift to and from happiness to sadness based on the things occurring outside of you. Living like this gives all the power to those things. Never knowing from moment to moment if you will have the rug pulled out from underneath you or not.

Learning to see events as things outside of you and not letting them define your happiness is a rare power. Not identifying with our conditioned expectations, we can approach all situations with an open mind and heart. This will bring on feelings of acceptance, well-being, and ease about the events of your life. They are things that happen, not defining points of your character. In this understanding and practice, one will probably realize that life is, in fact, OK, just as it is. What if our most feared moments are just opportunities to grow?

Everyday People

July 15, 2022 Jonathan Hilton Leave a comment

To separate yourself from others because of arbitrary factors is unhealthy and potentially dangerous.

In all your activities you take part in, beware of anything that leads to separation. With separation, the few rule the many, the narrow-minded take advantage of the masses, and inhumanity can take advantage of common sense. Humans need to belong, and leaders and organizations take advantage of this by establishing an “us against them” mentality. Look at our world today. The government and media tell us to fear terrorists, immigrants, poor people, and anything else that puts the label of us against them into the equation. Today’s word is to raise your consciousness about the perceptions of separation we accept blindly every day. It starts with our thoughts, words, and actions.

Labels and Control

When you look at a situation, honestly evaluate where the information comes from and its purpose. One of the age-old methods for discrediting people is to label them with a derogatory designation. This leads to stereotyping and denying their value and point of view, dehumanizing them, and making anything you do alright.

Do not label all people in the same category. A thinking person can differentiate between individuals. Labels and stereotypes control the masses and steer the public discourse toward a beneficial point for whoever originally placed the title. This happens in politics and so much now that nothing is ever done except labeling and stereotyping. Be a thinking person and understand these are just tactics to separate people into groups by religion, race or heritage, friend or enemy, good or bad, us or them. These are charades of trouble to control your behavior and steal your power. All negative behavior and immoral decisions are justified this way. Beware of separation.

Acceptance over Judgment

So how to defeat separation is by falling back onto your humanity. It is in our common human experience that we are all connected. Each of us is having a human experience of life, and although we have differences, we are still all just humans, after all. This connection can defeat all the separations forced on us by using the tools we have as decent people. We can be kind to others regardless of where they are from. To be sympathetic to those in a less fortunate position than us. To look at another person in the eye and accept their humanity, which they share with you.

It is your choice to adopt the perspective that we are all a part of “us.” Regardless of financial standing, geography, or any other factor, we are all humans living on the face of the Earth for a short time. It is our choice to see a world full of dangerous people trying to hurt us or, as a more accepting place, all people are just a different version of you. Understanding this will eliminate separation and allow humans’ interests to be placed above, just collecting the most money we can or using the resources of the Earth to further our interests.

This game eventually will end in chaos unless something is done. Be conscious of the power you have of acceptance and doing away with stereotypes. Look at each individual as a singular entity. There will always be those who act poorly, make selfish choices, and disregard others’ best interests. People will steal, lie, and cheat. But that is not representative of any group.

People are People

Each person you meet has a story that has shaped their life, and all have had challenges of some kind. The most critical battle each fights is to see their value. This is hard enough dealing with our baggage, but it gets compounded when others place stereotypes and ignorance on top of that.

Make judgments based on the character of the people that you meet. Don’t accept the decision of others and never take the fear-mongering that separation brings. Even when the emotions run high and all others feel they are right, that doesn’t make sense. Focus on eliminating the invisible barriers of separation and practice kindness. Do this toward all others and even toward yourself. Each moment in our lives, we have the opportunity to contribute something positive to the world. Do this in your thoughts, words, and actions, and pretty soon, the world may start to see the commonality rather than the separation.

“There is a yellow one that won’t accept the black one.
That won’t accept the red one that won’t accept the white one.
And different strokes for different folks.
And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo.

I am everyday people.”

“Oh sha sha, we got to live together.

I am no better, and neither are you.
We are the same whatever we do.
You love me, hate me, know me, and then.
You can’t figure out the bag I’m in.

I am everyday people, yeah yeah.”

Emotional

November 24, 2021 Jonathan Hilton Leave a comment

Through this human experience, we are inundated daily with all sorts of emotions. Emotions are defined as: “a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.” They are our feelings, and unless you learn how to deal with them, they will deal with you.

These are things we face every moment of every day, but very few people look at what their emotions mean or, more importantly, what they are trying to communicate to us. Emotions control much of what we do and how we relate to others in our lives. Take a moment and investigate how your feelings are affecting your daily existence. Why are they so important? Where do they come from? How can we deal with them more helpfully? These answers will help you function more truly and honestly in your life. You will cease to be at the mercy of the seemingly random appearance of your emotions because you will know where they come from. You are not your emotions of love or anger or fear; how you react to them makes you who you are.

Why Emotions Are Important

Our emotions come from our thoughts, and most often, our thoughts are a reaction to the experience we are having or, more often, to experiences we had in the past. As we experience our daily lives, situations arise which stimulate thoughts. We have a complete memory bank of skills. When something happening now reminds us of something from the past, emotions are triggered, like a warning about suffering or pleasure from history that we might repeat shortly. Anger, for example, is the face of fear. We get angry when thoughts that might not meet our needs are front and center in our minds. Many people get into the habit of using anger as a default to getting what they want, getting mad any time anyone challenges them, or not going exactly the way they want. These emotional responses are not healthy because, over time, anger takes its toll on your body, and more significantly, your relationships. Nobody wants to spend quality time with a ticking time bomb.

Our emotions tell us things that words can’t articulate, and learning to decipher these feelings rather than react mindlessly to them gives us a chance to be better and create healthier relationships. Start to look at your emotions pragmatically, from the perspective of, where did this come from? What is it you are feeling, and why do you feel this way right now? Every thought comes complete with a corresponding emotional response. Emotions are important because they are away. We communicate with the world and ourselves. To ignore or suppress your feelings is a good recipe for poor mental and physical health. What is inside of you and how you feel will eventually come to the surface. You can decide if it is through a gentle investigation of how you think or an explosion of emotional steam after weeks, months, or years of psychological repression. Take care of your emotions, and they will take care of you. Listen to them, and they will provide you with a direction of where you need to go.

Watching Emotions

Rather than let your emotions dictate your words, actions, and life experience, the moment you feel them, take a minute and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Our bodies are excellent because they think the stimulus from outside is like hot and cold, but also feel an incentive that comes from inside, like happy or sad. Rather than being controlled by your emotions, take a second and let it be there. The sentiment is a feeling or response, and you can sit back and observe it. What is causing it? What is the stimulus of this thing? It could be a link to some experience from your childhood, which is irrelevant today. When you can observe the emotion, you are no longer part of that response. You are separate from it.

Doing this successfully will allow you to investigate what is going on inside of you at that moment. Watch the thoughts you are thinking, which have the emotion attached. Watch your inner world unfold and ask questions about the genesis of your emotional responses. Doing this will allow you to understand yourself better and relate to the world and those in it. Being effective at this will allow you the chance to become more in charge of your emotional health. Although you will never be able to control your emotions, you can understand how to work with them healthily and use the information they are sending you. Rather than just reacting in a mindless, subconscious way. It takes time and effort to do this, but it will give you a better understanding of yourself and others when you become better at this.

Documenting Your Emotions

To start to practice this, you need to take some simple action. Start by documenting your emotions. Look back at your day and write down when you had an intense emotional response. Notice these feelings and how they affected you. Then follow it to its roots. What was the situation? What was said? Who was there? What were you thinking? Which of your thoughts are tied to which emotional response? All of this information is available to you every day and in all situations. You have to be willing to investigate, document, and get to know yourself in the emotional realm. Each time you put your emotions down on paper, you will build a more reliable connection with yourself, where you came from, and what it is that you need to deal with. Negative emotions are dangerous to your health, and of course, your relationships, and to be at their mercy makes you a reactor to life.

When you know which situations or thoughts lead you to love, fear, sadness, happiness, or any other emotion, then you are in control of things. Isn’t anxiety a response to thoughts that create fear? Look for the ideas that put you in a negative emotional state and shine a light on them. Explore them. Understand them. Like a monster under the bed, a little light will reveal that you are spending your time entertaining unnecessary thoughts of fear. There is a freedom that comes from understanding yourself in all facets because understanding and knowledge are always the keys to power, and in this case, it is your power.

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”-Horace Walpole.

“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”-Elizabeth Gilbert.

“We all live at the mercy of our emotions. Our emotions influence and shape our desires, thoughts, and behaviors and above all our destiny.”-Dr. T.P.Chia