When you woke up today, you probably looked in the mirror at some point. Who did you see looking back at you? Most of us see a person we have created to fit into the roles we face in our lives each day. The one who has to perform their job, take care of their family, do what is expected, and be the person your ego has told you to be. But that is not who you are, and most of us are operating under a case of mistaken identity, and until we start to look for who we are underneath the flaking edifice covering us, we will continue to feel just……..not quite right.  The good news is you are there, the real you, right there underneath the stories we have chosen to believe and give life to in our imaginations.  Remember who you are, and there is nothing that can stop you.

Our Stories

People are great creators of stories, and we use them to define our lives.  Things happen to everyone; some are very positive and will readily accept them because they make us look and feel good.  We tell these stories to the world about the accomplishments, the skills we have, the relationships that define us.  We describe these tales to ourselves.  This process is a part of the false self we create in life to fit in, to show we are exceptional, helpful, talented, and to deliver our value to ourselves and the world. We are the authors of these stories, and we create our biography.  What

happens when the stories we tell are entirely fabricated in our minds.

Your real identity is not in the stories you tell, and you choose to believe about yourself. Each of us is more than that behind the decks. It is my contention; all people have greatness within them and have forgotten their true identity. Replacing it with life stories, others will accept, to give a positive view of themselves. But the correct version is so much better and valuable.  Finding your identity should be the first step in your development, and learn to embrace it.

Glimpse It, Embrace It

I know many people who possess real power is in who they are, not in what they do. However, they give all of their attention to what others think of them and their role.  Spending time seeking the approval of others and searching for social media acceptance or just popularity alone is not going to reveal any of the natural substance within. It is chasing a false creation, made to please others rather than to express yourself.  Self-expression through creativity is the voice of the true self within.  You have no doubt had glimpses of the person you are.  Look for it, and you know you have found it by the overwhelming positive feeling it brings to you inside.

Embrace this feeling and look for more of it.  Finding a way to communicate with this part of yourself is the secret.  It is not difficult to do. You have to quiet your mind and then look past the never-ending stream of thought our brains produce and see what is behind them. That is where your true identity is living, waiting for you to put aside the mistaken identity you cling to and embrace your true self.  Many people have been raised to ignore our true selves.  Fit in, find the job your family will accept as “successful.”  Embrace the relationship others will agree, skip the one that is right for you.  Your true self knows what is right for you and what is not. Look behind the mistaken identity you have accepted about yourself.

How to Find You

All of this is nice, but without a plan to find your true identity, it will just be an excellent idea. First, you have to be willing to look for the person you are. I know many great people are not ready to watch because they are afraid of what they will find.  Fear is the actual opponent for all of us in all aspects of our lives.  You may be comfortable where you are with your story, even if, deep down, you know there should be something more.  It is hard to move out of security to find something else that is

The fear.  But why are we here if not to bring all we are capable of creating to the world. Fearlessly look for that person.

Second, we have to be willing to create action plans and follow them toward who they are. Take a class, read a book, join a group, write your thoughts, find your true identity, and embrace it wholeheartedly. If this seems simplistic, give it a try, and then we will talk.  Our characters have been constructed throughout our lives, and making changes to the beliefs we have accepted as accurate is the most challenging thing a person will do.

Look at every single thing you believe is real and question it. We all have beliefs that limit us from being our best or accepting the best life has to offer us.  We learned them from society, family, and institutions that raised us. Proving these long-held beliefs false is unsettling, but through that uncomfortable mess, our true self will rise.  You have to be willing to risk who you think you are to find out your real identity.

Be willing to be uncomfortable, scared, and nervous about what you are doing and trying to create, and the thing you will build will be your true self. What could be better than that?

“A wild goose never laid a tame egg.” – Gaelic Saying

“Every man is the architect of his own fortune.”  –Appius (c.470 BC)

“If there’s one message I want people to take away is never compromise being your authentic self. Even if that means making others uncomfortable.” -Halima Aden

“The real rub is finding that authentic self, and it’s not something that’s going to come to you overnight.”-  Paul Guilfoyle