Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
by Jonathan Hilton Day #44
I am sure there are plenty of different philosophies to answering this question, and I believe the type of person you are will determine your behavior when it comes to elevator button pushing. The differences in this area are not meant to create divisions but to define who we are as people.
Personally when I have the occasion to use an elevator, which surprisingly doesn’t happen very often. I am transformed into a ten year old boy fascinated with this form of
transportation, and just for the record I feel the same way about escalators, stairs that move: where will technology take us next?
When it comes to elevators, I don’t think they would have put all of those buttons on there if they didn’t want them to be pushed.
I think it is something about the fact that they light up when you push them and there is something attention grabbing about lighted numbers, but if I am in an elevator by myself and not in a hurry, I will push all of the buttons and see what happens.
I definitely push both the up and down buttons when you are waiting to get on the elevator.
Maybe it is the power that you feel by pushing a button and summoning a machine to transport you to other places, without having to use those stairs. Stairs are for losers. I also believe whole heartedly that if pushing the button once will bring the elevator to you, then pushing it ten times will bring it to you faster. It only makes sense.
The elevator can sense the urgency that pushing the buttons numerous times represents, especially if you do it in a particularly frantic or spastic manner. The elevator will think, “Geez, must be a very important person in the lobby, forget all these other people who only push the button once.”
The problem comes when you are facing off with another button pusher on a different floor. You are going to have to hit that button like you’re playing space invaders to get more power than some other frantic button pusher who is obviously not as important or impatient as you are.
Don’t worry about the people in the lobby staring at you and slowly moving away from you, they will really admire your persistence. So much so that I bet they will just wait for the other elevator to come, so that you can enjoy your well earned ride all by yourself. As Charlie Sheen said, “Winning!”
There is also a secret trick I have learned to make any elevator understand that I am a person to be taken seriously and to get to my floor quicker, and that is to tap out a song on the button very quickly and to sing along with it.
The best songs for this are A Little Less Conversation, by Elvis and Sweet Child of Mine by Guns n Roses. You will really impress everyone in the building as you loudly and quickly sing these songs to the rhythm you are banging on the elevator buttons.
So remember that pushing the button on an elevator many times is always better than just once, show the world that you are the type of person who controls their own destiny and push that button 60 times in quick rapid fashion. You may set a new speed record for elevator travel. (note: I really don’t think that people who use stairs are losers.)
For apparantly different reasons, Flo Rida likes elevators too!
Shaffer: Worst elevator crowned in downtown Raleigh
Does Getting Trapped In This Elevator Make Me Look Fat?
