Forgive-stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

Who hasn’t been wronged, betrayed, let down, hurt, or disappointed by the behavior, attitude, or actions? Each person you pass on the street or see in your life has felt the pain caused by another. Some are big, and some are small, but that anger about the pain and the fear of it happening again makes us plot our revenge. But the true power is to forgive. Forgive them, forgive her, forgive him, and forgive yourself. To do anything else is to give away your power. Be conscious of your thoughts and emotions that lead to your words and actions. Forgive.

Why It’s Hard to Forgive

Events occur in life, and some events bring permanent change. Change can be difficult and painful. The end of a relationship, modification of a job, or loss of a loved one or friend you once relied on. The pain of loss, change, or loss of trust changes you forever. Anger is the emotion people use to protect themselves. It tells people that something is wrong and provides a false feeling of power in a situation you are powerless to change. It is a symptom that something is wrong, and you need help.

Forgiveness is problematic because it feels like what you experienced was wrong. Perhaps you were a victim of abuse, a violent act, or just a thoughtless act of emotional coldness. Many feel forgiveness lets a person off the hook, but that is not the case. A person’s actions are karma, and your reactions and consequent actions are yours. When you forgive, you take power away from what others did to you and return it to yourself. No offense is forgotten or justified, but you are no longer carrying the burden of acts others committed against you.

It is like holding onto a hot coal and thinking of someone who harmed you when you don’t forgive. The only guarantee in the situation is that you will be hurt. Not a good bargain and nobody else even knows of your suffering. You are choosing to carry the hot coal of pain around. Let it go!

Forgive Yourself

The most difficult person to forgive is always ourselves. People always feel they should have known better, been wiser, more robust, less trusting, kinder, more caring, less mean, or just plain luckier. The reality is that you weren’t, and what happened, happened. What is, is. Accepting that and forgiving yourself for it is the path to moving forward positively. Mistakes, misjudgments, and negative situations are a part of life. Let them ruin you or allow them to make you the most vital person possible. To forgive is the key to your power over everything that ever hurt you.

You will know you forgive someone when all anger feelings are missing when you think about them and the situation you were involved in. A searing feeling in your gut comes up when you harbor anger or resentment. When that is lacking, then you have indeed chosen to forgive.

Final Thoughts on Forgiveness

Bringing the concept of forgiveness into your conscious decision-making is essential for your overall health. If you are spending energy harboring anger toward someone, it is time to let it go. No matter how long you have been carrying your anger, each new day is a chance to let it go and take power back into your life. Let forgiveness become a part of your conscious thoughts, words, and actions today.   Changing the thoughts you entertain about a bad experience will allow you the change the emotions surrounding it, and if you can do that, you are free.

The person who gets the benefits of your forgiveness is you!