Tag Archives: joy

22

Avoiding the Negative Loop

Leave a comment

This human experience can be confusing. As we try to figure out where we fit in, something changes, and we are left looking for a new equation that will lead to our success, acceptance, and happiness. But we spend time choosing and creating narrow attachments and expectations for the outcomes. If something doesn’t work out just like we think it should, that is bad, and we choose to be unhappy. When I let go of how I think the world should be and accept it, I can also find the good in each moment.

Suffering

Life is going to bring its share of challenges. No person will live for an extended period, having everything go just perfectly. If they did, there would be no opportunity for personal growth or self-development. You would be stagnant, just as you were. It w, and it is like continually being a child with no developing maturity. Suffering comes from the thought that what is happening in your life is not as you think it should be. Something is wrong and needs to be fixed. This can result from any challenge which shakes your reality.

It can be a relatively minor thing, like an annoying co-worker, to a big something like a loved one’s death. The idea you need to fix things because they are wrong will lead you to fear, worry, insecurity, resentment, criticism of others, criticism of yourself, tensions, stress, and all things which lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

What if you didn’t do that?

The alternative is to open your mind and develop a broader vision of life and the things it brings your way. Perhaps the experience you are having, no matter how unsavory or harmful, is precisely what is best for you now. You don’t have to like it, but not wanting something won’t make it go away. Dealing with the present moment will allow you to become better.

Living in the present moment, not worrying about what the future will be, or regretting the past, will allow you to make choices that honor the present and see where true fulfillment comes from. It isn’t attached to the events swirling around your life. A “good thing” here makes you happy. A “bad thing” makes you unhappy. Realizing they are all just things to which you give meaning through your mental conditioning, expectations, and attachments.

Your Power

This doesn’t mean you accept someone treating you poorly; when this occurs, you don’t take it personally as an indictment of your value and see it as a clear issue of the person mistreating you. A loved one’s death is a sad occasion, but feeling bad won’t bring anyone back to life; the reality of the situation is what it is. How you deal with it, move on from it, and see your gratitude for the departed person’s influence on your life will allow you to grow and develop your power despite the loss.

Shift of Perspective

It is not an easy shift, moving your perspective from one of the ego-defined expectations to source-centered acceptance. If a life of fulfillment is your ultimate goal, then some movement in this direction is warranted. It will allow you to not drift to and from happiness to sadness based on the things occurring outside of you. Living like this gives all the power to those things. Never knowing from moment to moment if you will have the rug pulled out from underneath you or not.

Learning to see events as things outside of you and not letting them define your happiness is a rare power. Not identifying with our conditioned expectations, we can approach all situations with an open mind and heart. This will bring on feelings of acceptance, well-being, and ease about the events of your life. They are things that happen, not defining points of your character. In this understanding and practice, one will probably realize that life is, in fact, OK, just as it is. What if our most feared moments are just opportunities to grow?

22

The Moments That Matter

Leave a comment

Your perspective on life will determine your success, and that is the way of it, whether you like it or not. How you look at the experiences you have will choose your thoughts on life, the people in your life, the places you go, and ultimately which goals are achievable and which are not. Even the most talented and motivated people will not be at their best every day, and if you are not functioning at your highest capacity, are you contributing in every moment? Does every minute of your life matter to the results of your experiences and accomplishments?

My philosophy is that every minute in your life matters, and those who take the time to evaluate themselves, their efforts, and where their place in the world can find value in each moment. We are limited in the number of minutes we have in life, and it is up to us what we do with them. The choice of enjoyment or boredom is yours and yours alone each day. And, of course, who is to say what one seemingly little minute in your life will lead to? Every minute is the gateway to the best version of yourself. Do you walk through it, stand in front, or walk away from it?

Life Is Short

Our human experience is valuable because there is no clear ending to the journey. It could be many years, or it could be in five minutes. Nobody knows. Yet most of us live our lives as if all the time in the world is at our disposal. It isn’t, and the acceptance and understanding that at some point, this life is going to end give all experiences, moments, and minutes a meaning. Each one will matter before the end, for sure, and often to others around you. What are you doing with your time?

Most people do not live life consciously thinking about the value of the minutes, but if you take a minute and think about it, you can find ways to make each of your minutes a little more valuable. Just as gold or diamonds have a perceived value because of their rarity, should your minutes be treated. Each one is unique and will never come again. Spending time doing what makes you come alive is the most meaningful way is the best way to make your moments last. You get the choice to appreciate what you have in your life or not.

You Choose The Value of Your Minutes

The choice is the action that makes our lives uniquely our responsibility. We choose the value of all things in our lives. We decide how valuable the people we spend time with are or are not. Is this day disappointing, or is it the gateway to something beautiful? That is a choice only you can make about your own life, and you make it every minute. Don’t accept that some minutes are better than others because of factors outside of yourself. That makes you the victim of circumstance and not the master of your fate. You choose on the inside the value that any activity has to you. That is being proactive and will lead to greater enjoyment. If you are reading, decide to value it.

Some would question if you find value if you are not contributing to something or building toward something. But I think your life is something and each moment has a chance to be built into whatever you want. You may not see the value now, but two years from now or a week from now, you will realize the foundation you have started today. If you are not currently building toward something, then you have the power to create a purpose for yourself. Start a new project. Look for a place you can make a difference. Move your sphere of awareness to what you can contribute to the world to make things better in a small way. Helping others provides a feeling of contributing to the world and building a better life for yourself. You are the only one who can choose to value each minute you have.

Responsible for Meaning

Who is to say what value is. It may be one thing, and another person may find something different to be of value to them. Personal choice is going to play a role in this. Look at the last year of my life. Some moments were better than any I have ever known and some worse than any I could imagine. For sure, both of them were valuable for different reasons. Significant change inside of myself has been the result of both extremes. Goals have been reached, which could never have been achieved in any other way. My perspective on life has adjusted more positively because of these learning moments.

Each moment good and evil forced me to change how I looked at myself and dealt with my emotions. All of life is a learning experience, and in this classroom, you are the one who decides if you “pass” and take something significant into the next moment of your life. Or if you “fail” and sit around, feeling sorry for yourself. You are the only one who can choose the value of your life and the moments in it. If you decide to be more honest, open, and understanding because of your experience, it has value. In each moment you live. We are responsible for ourselves and our happiness. You can’t blame anyone else, and you can’t wait for that job, person, or experience to provide value to your life. You have to do it yourself.

Never Underestimate Your Value

We are all connected in this journey of life. We create barriers to separate ourselves from everyone else, but still, there are far more things that join us all. We are all searching for the meaning of one sort or another. Each person we come in contact with has an impact of some kind on them and us. Even if it is minimal, it is still an influence. You can decide how you let that influence affect you. Some people measure the value of their life through degrees earned, awards won, or even material possessions collected. But none of these things truly define a person’s worth. That can only be determined by the positive manner in which they affect the lives of people they come in contact with.

Look at your life and see what positive things you have contributed to the lives of others. Are people better off for your being in their life? If you doubt your contribution, then make a conscious choice to be more of an influence. It doesn’t take money, and it takes a conscious decision to make your life meaningful every minute. Simple things like honesty, encouragement, gratitude, appreciation, and joy of experience can change others’ lives. In looking to make others’ lives better, the life you really will change is your own. The answers to any problem you face might appear at this very minute, and I can’t think of anything more valuable than that.

  • “While we are postponing, life speeds by.” Seneca
  • “If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality.” Benjamin Franklin
  • “Spare moments are the gold dust of time.” Bishop Hail
  • “I’ve always believed in savoring the moments. In the end, they are the only things we’ll have.” Anna Godbersen
  • “To do two things at once is to do neither.” Publilius Syrus
  • “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” Marcus Aurelius
  • “When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.” Shannon L. Alder
  • “If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” Bruce Lee

 

22

Present Every Day

Leave a comment

What if you were present today? What would that look like? 

Every day, we make simple choices to either be present in our experiences or attempt to take our minds to another place and experience something outside of the moment. It is effortless to allow your mind to drift into distractions and never really notice all of the people and things happening in your life right at this moment. Presence is defined as “the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing.” It seems like this would be easy to accomplish at all times, but we have created all sorts of shiny distractions to stop us from experiencing the things in our lives right now.

Smartphones, scrolling social media, video games, and television entertainment on any electronic device keep us in fantasy and stop us from being in the moment. There is nothing wrong with doing this once in a while, but you start to forget who and what you are when it becomes the norm. You are never using the tool of your mind for what it is good at, which is solving problems and creating the best reality possible. Let’s try to get into the present moment.

Distractions

All people have something that distracts them from being present. That is a part of being human. We can go to different places with our minds. It is not necessarily a bad thing to escape; sometimes, imagination can be constructive to create what you want in life. But when the distractions of life cause you not to be present, you are not living the life you have. What are your distractions? Video Games? Movies?Low Vibrational Television? Alcohol? Drugs? Whatever you do to move out of the moment continually is the distraction you choose.

If we are not present at the moment, then we are never able to deal with the issues that cause us pain and suffering in our lives. Distractions work as a pain relief for these things. Making them bearable but never helping you deal with things bothering you, allowing more negative emotions and thoughts into your life. Distractions take your attention away, but those things are always there, waiting for you when the madness ends.

You can practice being present by continually looking at your focus throughout the day. Notice where your thoughts are. Are they drifting off to the past and a happy or sad event from your memory? Are they drifting to a future dream where you have achieved a goal or are doing something you are looking forward to experiencing? Either way, you are not in this moment if you are there. Once you notice you are not in the moment, you are now there. Doing this for an entire day and documenting what distractions are on your mind will allow you to be more present in your life, deal with issues you have, and let your account help solve problems you face.

What Do You Crave?

When you identify with your mind and the thoughts it creates, whatever cravings pop up, you are those cravings. The distraction, the drink, the drugs, the games, the food, or whatever the desires have become who you are. A Craving occurs when your mind seeks fulfillment in external things for you to feel whole. Most people have wounds from their emotions, and our cravings and distractions remove our focus from these things. People desire to be free of worry, care, and pain, but when you allow your desires and cravings to become attachments, you will not be able to experience the joy of just being.

The joy of this moment is natural to experience, but you have to make an effort to get your consciousness involved. Let your thoughts go. They are not going to help. Look at where you are right now and note all the things that are there. The sun, anything that grows, other people, a good cup of coffee, the ability to create, or any of the other things in this moment that you can experience are all there for you. There is no need to become free of all your desires but to become present in the moment. Some moments are more enjoyable than others, but all of them offer you some experience. Too often, we are too distracted by the things we crave. We let the moment pass us by, unnoticed and unappreciated.

Creativity for Health

Being creative is one of the most powerful things we have to bring us into the moment and appreciate our essence and how we can relate to the world. If you don’t create regularly, start. It is a way for your soul to express itself. Write, draw, paint, sculpt, or design. Whatever form of activity allows you to express yourself provides an opportunity to find your purpose and passion in life. When you are into creating something, and your focus is on that, you are in the moment. At this moment, which is all we are ever guaranteed, time seems to stand still or run without noticing. Being creative is a uniquely human experience, and it exists for a reason.

When you create something where only an idea existed, you are setting precedence in your life. If you can make something where nothing once was in one area of your life, you can do it in another. Our creative powers can be developed and should be used to help you take your life into a new area of exploration. In life, we are either growing and changing or moving in the opposite direction. Being present is essential to get the most out of our time on Earth.

There is no need to label the moment as this thing or that thing. Allow the present moment to be what it is. Like you allow your past to be whatever it was, a learning experience. Accept responsibility for it and move on. Let the future be what it is, possibility. Accept where you are, take responsibility for it, and then take action to accept it all as if you chose it. To carry this attitude through a day is an exciting thing because no matter what you face, you want to be responsible for it. Much like the surfer chose to ride the wave rather than be buried by it.

This process of being in the moment starts when you focus your conscious thoughts on the present moment. It will affect the words you choose to speak to others and the actions you ultimately take. Being present is a skill anybody can develop, and it just takes a little peace of mind and thought.

 “Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn’t more complicated than that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.” ~Sylvia Boorstein

 “The best way to capture moments is to pay attention to. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

“In today’s rush, we all overthink — seek too much — want too much — and forget about the joy of just being.” ~Eckhart Tolle

 “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama

“When you realize nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu

 

21

Suffering

Leave a comment

There are two sides to every coin, and in my life, I have found joy on one side and suffering on the other. The pain appears as the worst of things to experience in life and should be avoided at all costs.

Although I agree it is something that is not pleasant, it provides a necessary function for people. I wish things were always easy, and there was nothing but joy in my experience, but life offers difficult obstacles for each of us to overcome. How we think about our experience will bring us suffering or lessons. Pain is a choice of how we feel about each situation we are in life. It is a natural and inevitable part of life. We will have catastrophic loss and sadness in our lives. How we deal with it will define much of who we are and how successfully we live our lives. Your suffering is a choice and one I have made all too often.

Crutches of Life

Crutches are everywhere in life. These are things in our experience that limit us in one way or another. Some fall prey to wild pleasures and excesses in life, which distract you from your purpose and determine what can be accomplished. Others find jobs that are just enough above water to be acceptable but will never allow you to grow into the person you could be. All crutches of the world we adopt to “help” get us through life will cause suffering and move us further from ourselves. Life can seem like a prison if we let it. Keeping us confined to a particular place and set of circumstances. This limit is only the case if you choose to allow it. Or you can choose to be free in your actions and your mind.

Limiting my options is a game I played from early on. Allowing others to put their labels on me and the corresponding limits from the earliest moments in life. “You just aren’t athletic.” “That’s nice, but you will never make a living from it.” “You just aren’t very book smart.” Or one of a million other limiting statements I accepted as crutches and eventually even stopped questioning. Any belief that I have allowed to limit me in any way needed to be reevaluated and changed, even in a small way, because these are the chains that life has put on you, and you won’t eliminate the suffering they cause until you change them.

This reaction is a choice, and it isn’t as difficult as most would have you believe. Change is a constant and inevitable part of life, and you can fight against it or learn to choose to move with it. Ending this limiting suffering is a race between your mental capacities and your biological limitations. Some will win, and some will not. Which side will you be on?

Becoming Your True Self

All people are born with a purpose in life. All of those intentions are positive, and there is some message to bring or a goal to accomplish before our time is done. Unfortunately, we are almost immediately piled with expectations and experiences that push us further from that mission. The programming we receive is mainly in the name of love but delivered in the voice of fear. Parents generally want the best for their children, but often their idea of precisely what the “Best” means can make your choices seem “worst,” even if you are following your heart. Chasing your dreams is your life; nobody else’s.

The suffering that this can cause is lifelong and painful. With each step, a person takes in the direction of someone else’s expectations the further they get from their true self, and soon that person you were born is hidden behind a lot of trees and weeds. It can be challenging to find your way back. The further you have moved from your true essence, the higher the suffering is going to be. It seems like the journey back to who you are is never too far to reach or too late to start looking. The limits we accept are the ones that will affect us. So begin today looking for what message you were born to send and what gift you have to give.

Loss and Suffering

To live life and love others opens you up for the loss, which leads to suffering. If you have lost someone close to you, you know this kind of pain is a painful experience nobody wants to have. But life is a tenuous experience with no guarantees. We never know when the ride will be over should. It is easy to get lost in the routines of the days and take things for granted. Each day is a gift. Open it! Be motivated to do what you want to do, be with those that make you happy, and enjoy every moment.

Not only are the days a gift, but you should take the time to look at the beauty of your day. All the people in our lives are precious too. It is human nature to take things for granted, only realizing how consequential or special someone was when they had left us. Then we mourn the loss. Which is natural, but there is an opportunity every day to celebrate all those in your life, contributing to the experience of living life. It is a short ride, this life, and it makes no sense to spend the bulk of it in misery when you don’t have to. Spend it in appreciation of the magic that is you and your unique presence.

Emotional Rescue

We will all have emotions that bring us down. Anger and fear are natural reactions to life when you start to look at things from the perspective of, “What am I getting out of this?” Then you have to learn to deal with it and either let it consume you or change your thoughts, emotions, and actions to something more positive. I know it sounds natural, and when you feel anger or fear, it isn’t too easy to change. But YOU can modify it by looking at the thoughts causing your suffering and changing them to something else.

Find something or someone who brings out the positive in you. It seems like much of our suffering comes from our feelings of inadequacy, and to change means doing something more worthwhile. Learn what your emotions are telling you and how to change them from negative to positive for you, and you will find a tool to help you end some daily pain nobody needs to deal with in life.

Suffering is a message in life that we are attached to something temporary in a permanent way. Nothing in life is stable, and that is what makes it unique. So the choice is up to you in the end as it always is, spend your time suffering or spend your time in joy. It is all up to you.

“Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but the greatness of mind.” Aristotle

“The reward of suffering is experience.” –Harry S Truman

“Suffering by nature or chance never seems so painful as suffering inflicted on us by the arbitrary will of another.”- Arthur Schopenhauer

“Suffering is but another name for the teaching of experience, which is the parent of instruction and the schoolmaster of life.” Horace

“Suffering is the substance of life and the root of personality, for it is only suffering that makes us persons.” – Miguel de Unamuno

 

 

21

Determined

Leave a comment

Determination-firmness of purpose; resoluteness.

People set out on many journeys in life. Our determination dictates how far the trip is going to take us. All start with calm confidence. All are going to face challenges that will help decide the direction a journey is going to take. Sometimes things get tough, and you can’t continue. The bottom line is that when it comes to your goals and dreams, the determination you carry in your heart is the number one factor in reaching a successful conclusion or not. Resolution is a quality in each of us, and it needs to be used to be effective. It all starts with looking at our thoughts, words, and actions when it comes to completing our goals and seeing the determination we have inside.

Becoming Determined

It takes courage to live a different life that is defined by your personality. Other people will want to push you in different directions that benefit them. You are determined to achieve or become something that will keep you focused on your road ahead and what you need to do to reach your goals. The spring of determination comes from courage. Being brave enough to say no to the things that deter our progress, and yes to the experiences that propel us forward.

Determination is the wake-up call to our humanity. There are experiences we want to have. Usually, these are things we want to accomplish, and we will never accomplish anything until we start in some way, small or big. We are determined to reach a goal or create a dream that pushes us down the road toward the result we seek. Our human soul celebrates and thrives when it has a purpose, a drive, to follow. We can decide which mountains we want to conquer and experience. Without determination, we will never reach the top.

Beliefs Build Determination

When you are trying to accomplish anything to keep your determination moving you in the right direction, you have to feel that you can achieve whatever you are setting out to do. You may think you want to be the best singer in the world, but if deep down you don’t believe that you can, it isn’t going to happen. If you have a belief inside of you that you can become a great singer, then you will have a much stronger determination to accomplish this goal. Whatever you dream of doing, check your beliefs first and see if it resonates with you. Believe you can or change that belief into one that supports your effort.

Beliefs give us the resolve to take action toward making something a reality. They will allow you to establish a neural pattern toward your goals. It will keep you taking steps to let your determination lead to success. You will stay resolute in continuing to practice, work out, learn, or grow in whatever way you need to, to do what you want to do. “If you think you can do a thing or think you can‘t do a thing, you‘re right.” A quote by Henry Ford says it better than I ever could. Believing in yourself and your abilities allows determination in action.

Just Keep Going

When you feel like you have to stop, don’t. When it gets hard, keep going. That is easy to say and hard to do, but that is what determination allows you to do. Find the strength inside of you to keep ongoing. It is through faith in yourself and the promised reward of what your goal is. The determination can be cultivated in anyone, beginning with a focus on the thoughts you entertain, which lead to your beliefs, the words you speak to others, and the actions you will take to get where you want to go. The great thing is that you can become whatever you want if you keep your determination to become whatever you wish.

“Never go backward. Attempt, and do it with all your might. Determination is power” – Charles Simmons

“Do not underestimate the determination of a quiet man” – Iain Duncan Smith

“The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand. “

 

 

 

21

Suffering

Leave a comment

It was pointed out to me today there is a slight misconception about my perspective of life. I write about my philosophy, which is one of self-improvement. Some seem to miss life is full of challenges that cause suffering in my experience virtually every day. In the past, I had fewer tools in my toolbox to deal with them, but I have dedicated myself over the past ten years to become better at handling these learning moments and being able to have a more productive and enjoyable life. To be clear, I am not happy all the time. In fact, over the past year, I would suggest there was a lot more “unhappy” in my emotional vault. But the hope is that I am not stuck with the suffering. I can overcome it, learn a lesson, and become a better person because of it. You can make conscious choices, which will allow you to find meaning in life and even enjoy the process if you open your mind to them. These are the processes I am writing about, not a “pie in the sky” ode to unconditional happiness. Here is what I have learned.

I am Responsible

Every person in the world makes a thousand decisions during each day we live. We decide everything from which clothes to wear to treating a rude person we stand in line next to at the bank. My life is no different. I make many decisions and try to make them with honesty and integrity at each moment. I don’t always make the best choices. Sometimes I eat things I shouldn’t. Sometimes I say the wrong something at the wrong time. There are even days I run a red light if nobody is around. But the one thing I always am is responsible for my choices in every way.

If I am not reaching my body weight goals because I choose to eat things not healthy for me, it is because of my poor decision. I can’t blame the food or the time of day I felt weak. Or the fact that I was feeling down because something negative occurred. No, I alone am responsible for the choices and have to accept the consequences. It is my responsibility, even if my favorites don’t bring the most desirable results. Sadness, regret, worry, anger, and other negative emotions are a part of life. But I think many don’t read here that it is your most important choice of how you choose to deal with them. You can allow them to make you bitter and angry, or you can want to learn, develop, and become a better person. I hope that the better person is the result of my suffering.

We are Not Supposed to Be Anything

The idea we are supposed to be happy all the time is unrealistic for anyone. Some may think we are supposed to feel joy and wonder about our situations, but that isn’t realistic. I have written many times that happiness is a choice, and I believe it is, but that doesn’t mean you walk around with blinders to the weak treatment others send your way or the poor feelings about yourself and the job you lost, or the disappointment you feel. I know there is no “right” way to feel at any moment.

We are not supposed to be happy, joyous, intelligent, winning, sad, disappointed, or angry. All people will, at some point, have to deal with all of these emotions, and they will do to you what you allow them to do. The thing is that how you choose to deal with them is your personal choice, and I have had to do this continually throughout my life. Do I get bitter because someone was dishonest with me? Do I carry a hatred inside for someone who has harmed me? It would be easy to do sometimes, but it wouldn’t represent the kind of person I strive to be. That is why I write about things like the power of forgiveness, how fear affects us, guilt, and dealing with our emotions. Not to discount the negative things we all deal with but to provide a path for hope for something better. It is a choice we all make for ourselves every day. There is nothing you have to be to be healthy. Just be yourself.

Darkness Walks with Light

I have thought of the events the past year has brought over and over again. It amazes me to see the balance of dark and light in my life. If you look at the people who have entered my life, left my life, and just influenced me, there is a positive balance between light, which was enjoyable, and darkness, which, of course, was not. Moments of joy, wonder, understanding, caring, and love found a check from equal moments of pain, disappointment, fear, anger, and disillusionment. It makes you wonder if the light is worth it that maybe we should live in a shady area in between where there are no great things but no horrible things either.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t work without contrast. Darkness provides a method of accomplishment; light never could. My experience with night has driven me to seek harder for the light and accomplish what before would have been impossible. The sun makes you get comfortable, like a beautiful warm blanket. It envelopes you and makes you never change. Change is inevitable and constant, so those things don’t go together. I had to learn to lift the blanket, forget the warmth, and dive into the cold of the darkness. This challenge is not something I write about often because the real lesson isn’t to embrace the difficult but to keep moving forward and maintain a sense of hope for the future. Find dignity in life despite things not being comfortable. The desire is there is more light in your future, and positive choices at this moment might help bring that about.

Being My Best

In the final analysis, I look at the idea that writing about being at peace and understanding that there is happiness in life available all the time is not a weakness or, worse unrealistic. A person can choose to look at their circumstances and see the problems. They can also look at the general state of chaos in the world and feel a sense of despair. But what will all that negativity in the costume of reality bring you? I am not powerful enough a person to solve all of the world’s problems, or even to make anyone else’s life better if they choose not to want that but………. I can make some other choices.

There are small things I can do every day to make my little part of the world better. Make simple choices to treat people with respect, kindness, and caring in day-to-day interactions. To try not to put any difficulty on people that have value to you. I strive to become the best person and succeed in life, equal to my talent and ability. To raise and fall in life and on the journey to my destiny to experience happiness. Joy is a choice I am making, proudly and thoroughly, and I hope that the great people I know have the strength to feel pleasure.

“Suffering is part of our training program for becoming wise.” ~Ram Dass

“Suffering by nature or chance never seems so painful as suffering inflicted on us by the arbitrary will of another.” Arthur Schopenhauer

“Suffering is but another name for the teaching of experience, which is the parent of instruction and the schoolmaster of life. “Horace

 

“Suffering is a corrective to point out a lesson which by other means we have failed to grasp, and never can it be eradicated until that lesson is learnt.” Edward Bach

“It is by suffering that human beings become angels.” Victor Hugo

“Suffering is the positive element in this world. Indeed it is the only link between this world and the positive.” Franz Kafka

“It’s at the borders of pain and suffering that the men are separated from the boys.” Emil Zatopek

“When suffering comes, we yearn for some sign from God, forgetting we have just had one. “Mignon McLaughlin

21

Balance

Leave a comment

When you break your life down and put all of your activities into a category, all things we do can be placed in the body, mind, or spirit group. Each of these areas makes up the three sides of your person and your life. It is the great challenge of living to learn to develop a balance between these three areas. Taking care of and strengthening your body in physical fitness through some healthy diet and exercise, continually improving your mind through education, and developing your soul through creative activities and the way you treat the world and its people, including yourself. When you look at your life at any point, the times you are close to achieving a balanced life in all three areas are the good times. Of course, life is continually throwing things at you to force you out of balance, so you have to learn more, develop your body differently, or change your perspective on your soul. It is like standing on a skateboard while life is throwing rocks at you. Development is not an easy path but one we are all on, even if we are not consciously aware of it.

Continual Search for Fitness

Fitness is a goal for everyone. Even though we live in a society that seems determined to undermine any of our health-related goals, all people have an inner desire to be in shape. Most wish it would happen magically by taking a pill, but we all know that is not the way it works. Although we all have the desire to be in shape, we see it as stern and distant. When you are overweight, it is straightforward to give up. But don’t! A life of better physical fitness is simple to accomplish, but of course, it is not easy. Put a consistent exercise program in your life and learn to eat a healthier and more proportionally appropriate diet.

Exercise doesn’t have to involve a gym, an expensive online program, or even cost you any money at all. It can be as simple as walking for about 30 minutes a day, five times a week. You can lift weights, do yoga, run, bike, row, paddle, swim, hike, or any other thing getting your body off the couch and moving around. A consistent commitment to physical activity will be the first step in living at a healthy weight. Of course, there are benefits to your entire body. Diet is much the same. To me, portion control is critical. Don’t eat for any other reason than when you are hungry. Eat less food that is processed and more that is natural. It can be as simple as eating more fruits and vegetables. It isn’t complicated; your body will do what you program it to do and be as large or as small as you train it to be. Anyone can do it. A healthy body is a base for a healthy life because this is where your mind and soul reside.

Your Greatest Weapon

The ability to think is the most excellent tool to create any life we choose. Like a computer, the mind creates a program to guide your life. It is estimated we think somewhere around 70,000 thoughts a day. That is amazing until you realize that only between 3-5% of those thoughts are original, and the rest are all repeats, the same thing we think every day. If you look at your life, are there things you do every day without real thought? A routine you follow or a habit you have that you follow almost unconsciously? We all do because routines are great tools to allow us to accomplish many of our daily tasks. I know my workouts would not be possible without routines. Original thought is the key to mental growth, and we are responsible for this.

Changing your thoughts and developing your mind happens by introducing new information into your experience and reading new books, watching educational videos, and having conversations with people allow you to build your brain. It is estimated the bulk of our mental programming took place before we were seven years old as we tried to figure out how the world works and how we fit in it. Too often, limiting beliefs about money, love, and health were developed then and continue to rule our lives now even though they are not valid. We should evaluate the ideas we follow and how they affect our self-esteem and belief in ourselves. All opinions can change with a bit of effort, and the power of this is you can accomplish the things you always dreamed of doing.

Living from Inside Out

Too often, I have looked for happiness and fulfillment from things on the outside. A relationship, a success in my professional life, how someone treated me, or how life’s circumstances were playing out. The problem with this is that when you look to things and people outside of yourself for happiness, you are at the mercy of those things. You have given all of your power away to something you have no control over. The good news is that it is a minor adjustment to start looking inward for the things that will give your life meaning and bring you a life of joy and enjoyment.

Inside each of us is a creator. Bringing something into the realm of the physical world, which once only existed in your mind, is a magical thing. Some write, paint, draw, and create artwork out of scrap metal; whatever it is you feel called to make, do that. Not for recognition or money, but to express the inner light and love you carry inside. Creativity will bring you home to who you are and allow you to understand your soul’s calling, understand yourself, and hopefully find some form of self-love. We are not encouraged to seek our soul song because it often contradicts the script we learn we should be following. Get an education, get a job, have a family, work for 30 years, retire, and then wait to die. Life is more than this, and we are each more than this. Accept who you are and know your inside greatness, and the outside expectations will matter much less.

How is Your Triangle?

Now it is up to you to look at your life and see where your triangle of body, mind, and spirit is today. It is alright if you are not where you ideally want to be because we are all on a journey. Each of us is moving toward something. I have heard it said we are either in a crisis, coming out of trouble, or moving toward crisis all the time. Through all of these journeys lie the opportunities to develop ourselves and learn about the things we love to do and the ideas which make us happy. No two people are the same, and it is in these differences we find the things only we can bring to the world. Yet, we are all connected in our journey as we all seek the same things in life. To enjoy the experience of living aims to balance your body, mind, and spirit. It is a constant journey to find the balance which will bring us fulfillment. No two people are going to have the same ratio of body, mind, and spirit. But we all gain equal value in the pursuit of it. Enjoy the ride.

“The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you’ve lost it.” Anonymous

“You can maintain a work-life balance even while pursuing careers.” Chanda Kochhar

“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” Dolly Parton

“It is better to rise from life as from a banquet – neither thirsty nor drunken.” Aristotle

 

21

Joy

Leave a comment

What does your joy look like?

Can anyone define their joy as one particular aspect of a day or even a life?

I certainly can’t. Life is much faceted, and joy derives from many different experiences. The canvas that I paint on has many colors, and I take pleasure from many other parts of that image my life has created.

Joy is an emotion that comes from within each of us.  Things bring us experiences, but we have to allow the joy in ourselves to rise to the surface and show itself. Happiness can come when you are with someone else or by yourself. It can be in the morning or the afternoon.  You are fully able to feel it at any moment you choose.  My joy today looks like many things. I have some thoughts about some specific things I experience happiness about in life—a glimpse of what is making experience great pleasure and satisfaction today.

Freedom’s Just Another Name

Something about times of complete and utter freedom makes me extremely happy and fills my heart with joy and happiness.

freedom There are times in each day where you have to perform specific tasks for your job or to meet the expectations of loved ones. These acts bring a reward for their merit.  Yet, most days, there are moments where I have complete and utter freedom to do whatever I desire at that moment.

 My desires aren’t all that wild and unattainable. I like to write (surprise), I enjoy thinking, and I read with passion.  Finding the time and freedom to do these things fills me with joy today.

 I think that having and exercising your free will each day for some time make you feel rejuvenated and brand new. I know those moments when there is no requirement on me other than those I place on myself are precious.

 On most days, there is a small portion where I experience the freedom of choice, which looks like a joy to me today.

Be Creative, and Things will Flow.

tumblr_la3fh5yX2q1qcgiqwo1_500I have always thought of myself as a person that lacked creativity.  Since I was a young lad, I heard that I lacked the artistic imagination to make art.

The sad part was not that people said these things, but that I believed them.  If you feel this, it cripples your ability to find the answers you are looking for on your journey.

For example, some writers suffer from writer’s block. They can’t get the flow going no matter how hard they try.  One of the most effective ways to break down walls of any kind is to do something creative.  I find that as I become completely engaged in an activity on the creative side, generally, the blocks go away, and words and ideas start to flow freely.

Surprisingly drawing is a form of expression for me, which allows me to do this.  Even though I have no talent in this area, engaging in a brief drawing session will let me find some clarity if I struggle with thought. Creativity looks like my joy today.

Music is Joy

I have often written about how much music means to me, and it is a daily love affair that is only limited by the number of songs available for me to hear.  No one genre brings me joy because many songs and artists I wouldn’t think I would like to perform songs that I find that I can relate to, at least to some degree! I find that nothing explains your emotions better than music or speaks to your soul like the lyrics of the right song.!

Music works magically like a time machine and transports you to different times in your life, and you can almost more than remember those people who were in your life at the time, you can only touch them with your heart and feel them with your soul but touch them and feel them you do.

A song can transport you over the years to a specific place and time. In an instant, you are there re-experiencing the moment from long ago. Happiness, sadness, or even joy can wash over you as you remember your past actions through a song.

As I drive down the road listening to some great music from today and yesterday, I know my joy looks like music today.

You Look Like Joy To Me!

If you are reading this, then you are what my joy looks like today.  I was thinking about what makes me joyous, and that is when something I write affects someone else and makes them believe in any way.

It can be a positive or negative reaction, but to be moved enough to comment, either way, makes me very happy.

 As anyone who writes probably has realized, this is all just the thoughts that come into your head.  They never existed before in the manner you used them and wrote them down. It is an expression of yourself in your mind.

 If someone else can read them and take something from them, find inspiration, commiseration,  or agitation, then I think that is a pretty powerful thing. I enjoy reading the ideas of others as they push me to learn more about myself and think about what I want to be and do in this experience of life: the personality and the presentation of the information counts.  Much like music, there is an unlimited number of writers and creators out there providing great information and excellent entertainment.  I learn something interacting with each written piece I come across.  I find new ones every day like a treasure hidden, just waiting for someone to discover them.

Joy is a feeling that comes from within, and all of these help me feel it because I accept them in my life. Each of us is in charge of the level of joy we experience and from what source it comes.

“Let your joy be in your journey—not in some distant goal.” —Tim Cook

“We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.” —Joseph Campbell

“Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home… it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it.” —Chuck Palahniuk

“The soul’s joy lies in doing.” —Percy Bysshe Shelley

“If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any broken moment.”

 

 

21

F.E.A.R.

Leave a comment

Fear– an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

FearOne of the most challenging things that people face in life is fear. It is a formidable foe because it can rise in any area of your life at any moment.  Any experience in life can cause pain, and we are designed to avoid pain. So a traumatic experience at any age can cause fear to arise in your mind and affect your life. Fear can either be a motivator or a limiter to what you can and will accomplish in life.  Once you have been harmed, most people go to great lengths to avoid a repeat performance.  Raise your consciousness today, noticing the fear in your life. Look at where you are limited and the fear behind it in your thoughts, words, and actions.  By recognizing the fear and understanding its cause, the fear can be overcome and even eliminated. Try to be fearless. (See Video here)

Eliminate Fear

People often believe that the opposite of love is hate, but that isn’t true. Love’s opposite is fear.  All things seem to come down to a choice between love and concern.  To eliminate fear will, therefore, allow you to experience more love in your life.  Love should be your goal in all things. Not just the fearidealized version of attachment but the caring for others in the world, making your experience more positive.

The thoughts of fear are always in contrast to the ideas of love. Like two sides of the coin, they are there waiting for you to make a conscious choice of which one gets your attention.  There is a Cherokee parable about this battle in our hearts. Each of us has two wolves inside of us, fighting for control. One is love, and one is fear. Which one wins is the one you feed.

The thoughts of love are joy, peace, acceptance, hope, kindness, empathy, humility, and truth.

The thoughts of fear are anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, dishonesty, judgment, and ego.

Which one do you choose to feed? It is essential because overcoming fear will allow you to become a better human being. You are making your life and the lives of those around you a better experience only by consciously choosing the positive thoughts, words, and actions of love over those of fear. Be fearless.

Action Kills Fear

If you asked most people what they would like to do, they would tell you, but then follow it up with a list of reasons they can’t possibly do that right now. Lack of funds, time, freedom, acceptance, fearunderstanding are all reasons to keep dreams at a distance. These are all words of fear of talking.  The truth is behind the excuses is a fear of failure. A doubt has arisen in all of us since the beginning of our lives. But one that cane destroyed as quickly as all others.

The remedy to fear is action. Fear will kill your dreams, and work will open the doorway to achievement. Taking a vision from thought to action is scary because of all the things that can go wrong.  It is courage that allows you to move forward, take action, and see what happens.  No matter what happens, there are answers on the other side of action. Those answers will make your goals and dreams a reality or provide you with a roadmap of getting where you want to go.  Be brave and take action toward whatever it is you want to achieve. Be undaunted by potential failure. To do anything else is to cower in the darkness, hoping someone will stumble across your greatness.  Develop your excellence through action and defeat your fears.

Fear the Constant Companion

Fear is a constant companion in life. It is the brain trying to keep you safe.  But it is just a thought, and you have to decide what kind of life you will live. Life comes with no guarantees, and there are going to be situations that hurt you. That is life.  Learning to muster the courage to keep living fearfully, even though pain may happen, is how great experiences are created.  The only person who can be brave for you is you, so developing this talent will allow you to have the potential to accomplish anything.

So be conscious today and every day about the fears that are controlling your life. Where do they come from? What action will overcome it?  Become aware of your thoughts, words, and works around fear, and strive continuously to overcome it.  This conflict between your mind and your concern is the most significant battle we all face in life. Everything you dream about is on the other side of your victory over fear.

Questions about fear

What fears cause anxiety to you?

How do you deal with the emotion of fear?

What fears are most challenging for you to face?

How does fear help you in life?  How does it limit you?

Quotes About Fear

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.~Eleanor Roosevelt

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. ~Marcus Aurelius

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.~Japanese Proverb

Be Fearless

 

 

21

Attitude Adjustment

Leave a comment

Recently, I have been reminded that no matter how much you focus on the positive, there will still be moments when you are going to feel some negative emotions. They may be a rare occurrence, but they do happen in everyone’s life. Rather than be held hostage by negative emotions, I look for ways to leave that negative mood behind and move into a more personally valuable space. Accomplishing this is not easy because once you let the gloomy thoughts into your area, they tend to take over and dominate your thoughts, words, emotions, and actions, negatively affecting your life and all those in it. The great news is none of these thoughts patterns are permanent, and some simple things can help you find a better space.  Our moods are energy, and we have the power to shift our energy at any time.  Be assured that an attitude is as permanent as the thoughts you decide deserve your focus.  You can turn it around, and here is how.

Learn the Positive Opposite

One of the easiest ways to change your emotional state is to recognize the negative and focus your attention on its positive opposite. When a situation occurs and stirs up negative emotion, first, understand what is happening. You know that you feel anxious, angry, upset, worried, mean, or some other feeling on the opposing side. Once you identify the emotion, you will want to understand what is making you feel that way. Some situation has brought on negative thinking.  Understanding this will provide insight into what you need to work on for yourself and better deal with future problems.  Once you have pinpointed the negative emotion that is permeating your mind, immediately identify with its opposite. If you are feeling anxious, focus on things that calm you.

To be calm is a challenge because negative moods and emotions are much like quicksand; they suck us in slowly and inevitably and are not easy to escape. The quicker your action, the easier it is to remove yourself from the negative mess. If you sit there wallowing in it and thrashing about, you are only going to sink deeper.  Recognize the negative emotions quickly. Change your thoughts to the opposite of what is dragging you into the muck. The optimistic view is a sturdy rope that will pull you out of that quicksand. Just keep your focus and be willing to believe you can control how you feel and affect the world around you.

Emotional Shift Example

Let’s say you start to feel about anger coming on.  Something has happened to trigger it and make you think you have to express this anger.  First, understanding that anger is the face of fear helps because you are troubled, life isn’t going to meet your needs. But an immediate shift in thought to gratitude or thankfulness for all the things you have will calm this common negative emotion.

Knowing that life will meet your needs will often assure you that anger isn’t the right path to venture down. The same goes for the emotions of fear.  The opposite of fear is love. They go hand and hand, and love is a many-faceted emotion.  If you are experiencing fear of loss, change your focus to the existence of those who love you.

Judgments

Negative emotions, like the judgment of other people, can result in a negative, bad mood. Many of our decisions are created based on erroneous information provided by the media, movies, or, most often, inaccurate preconceived notions. Judging others limits you.   Acceptance is the opposite position that always is available when judgment comes into reality.  Look at the feeling of judgment, recognize why you feel that way. Let it go and allow people to be who they are.  We judge other people on things that are different from us. Usually, judging occurs to make someone feel better about themselves. Or sometimes, a flaw in another is something we see and don’t like in ourselves.

Acceptance is the opposite of judgment and comes when we realize we are all the same inside, and no matter who you are looking at or what they have done, you are connected by our shared humanity.  All people are just a different version of you. Who is to say what you might do or have done in different circumstances. Focus on spending your thoughts on accepting others as they are and making yourself the best version you can. Each moment spent judging the lives of others is a waste of energy and brings you nothing positive at all. Look to recognize the humanity in all people. Even if it pushes you to the depth of your being, try to see another’s humanity.

Positive Focus

positive focusIn our lives, we always have a chance to focus our attention and energy toward the positive. Even when we allow ourselves to fall into a negative mindset, we can still shift it all around and salvage a day or even a situation. There will be some things that hurt us, and we have to react appropriately, but in everyday life, too often, people allow the negative to dominate their existence.  Sorrow and grief will enable you to experience loss, but when it is time to turn it around, you focus on positive things, triumphant situations.  With frustrations or disappointment, change the focus to patient understanding that all items are continually working, and we can’t see the result of any problem right now.

The positive is always available to you. It takes a focus and desire to move into a positive frame of mind continually.  Ask yourself, what kind of life experience do you want to have?  Remember always that life is a finite experience, and it will all be over too soon. You can choose to enjoy the ride.

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” Willie Nelson

“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.”- Hans Selye.