Tag Archives: keep moving forward

22

Are You Embracing Life?

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Where there is breathe, there is hope!!

The human experience is known for bringing a broad mix of experiences to your table. Some are difficult and change you and your perspective from the core. When someone else’s actions hurt you, it can be the most challenging thing to accept and keep moving forward. When you feel someone violated your trust, lied to you, or the way you saw things turned out to be untrue. Pain is the result, and these painful things lead us to question everything about our existence and self-worth.

There are dark days in every life, and it is reasonable to spend some time in self-contemplation about how we live and where we fit into the larger scheme of things. It is in these moments some people lose themselves. Recently finding myself in such a situation makes me remember times when I was lost before and managed to find a way through life’s challenges. We all have choices, and embracing who we are on the inside and looking to express that to the world is the most dramatic and worthwhile direction you can go. I am alive and still kicking and searching for the best expression of myself. Regardless of the value, anyone else sees in me. That is the last year’s lesson, and I am sharing ie with you.

Life Smacks You

I am not telling any of you anything new. We learn young; not everything works out as we hope. We build attachments to how we wish things would go, and circumstances combine to make events something else. Other people make choices and take actions we would rather avoid. We have no control over what other people do. The only thing we can control is our reactions. We can change what we are experiencing, accept them, or leave them. Life has presented a lot of unpleasant into

life smacks you
How you react is always your choice

my life over the past year. It is an easy way to blame someone else. My pain and loss are my faults because I believed the wrong person and accepted someone at face value when they were something other than what they portrayed.

My loss was devastating in a way I hadn’t felt in years, and it served as a reminder to understand other people better. Listen to what others are saying or not saying about who they are and life. People who say selfish things and live selfish lives are probably selfish. People who treat you like they don’t care about you don’t. That should be a notice to get as far away from those people as possible. Life is hard enough when your circle is cheering for you each step of the way, let alone when they have no belief in your value. That is a hard slap of reality because it makes you question your judgment about every aspect of your life. But if you never wonder what you are doing, you will never make the needed changes to become a better person and contribute to the world.

Remember, Life is a Short Game

Once you start to work through the pain of having a dream shattered or the loss of someone valuable to you, there is a tunnel you will emerge out of to find life is still moving along, and the harsh reality is this journey is a relatively short one. You only have a finite amount of time to play your dreams out, so time is not something you want to waste contemplating past regrets. It is what it is, and ruminating over it won’t change it. The people who hurt you have hurt you, and nothing will replace it. Time to move forward and take control of your own life and the things you experience for the rest of your time.

If you let your routines run your life and accept where you are, pretty soon, ten years are going to be gone, and you are going to be left wondering what you might have been able to accomplish if you had taken that chance, tried that thing, sang that song, published that book or just plain old followed that dream. You realize you are still alive and kicking. Where there is life, there is possibility. Exactly what opportunity means depends on your courage to overcome your past pains and attempt to find the best version of yourself. It is there waiting patiently inside of us all.

No Regrets

Take some time today, contemplate what you want to accomplish, and take the chance to make it a part of today. Learn what you need to know, try what you need to try, but most importantly, live your life without fear. Fear will limit your potential and stop you from doing what you want and learning to understand yourself. What makes you feel whole may be something you have never done. The place you feel most at home, maybe somewhere you have never been to.

Each day we have a chance to reset our goals and take the most minor, minute steps toward finding our best selves.   The most significant limit we face is the imaginary line of fear we have drawn around ourselves, which we dare not cross because of what might happen. We know what will happen if you fail to cross the line, nothing. That is the thing that will leave you with a blanket of regret. Years from now, do you want to look back and see all the changes you didn’t take and wonder what you might have accomplished if you just dared to try? Those are the biggest regrets I see in life and the ones I want to avoid. We have great possibilities in our lives. As long as we remember, we are still alive and kicking. Anything can indeed happen.

“Do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.” —Babe Ruth

“Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.” —Bear Grylls

“Nothing is to be feared; it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” —Marie Curie

 

22

Use Your Power of Intention

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There are two types of people, those who plan everything and those who plan nothing.  I believe spontaneity has its place in life, but when it comes down to accomplishment and actually getting something done, you need to have the end of your efforts in mind. It will help fuel your activities and guide you toward your desired result.  Without the guidance of a genuine intention, we are easily distracted from our path, and reaching our accomplishments will be difficult, but setting an intention is relatively easy. The little effort it takes will allow people to turn their goals into reality and live more fulfilling lives.

Plan Nothing

A wise friend once told me, “If you plan nothing, that is exactly what will happen.”  This is as true for your big goals in life as it is for how you spend your time on the weekend.  Creating a plan will focus on your actions and guide you in the time you can spend on each task to achieve everything you want.  In the short term, you will find your weekends much more productive if you create a list of intentions you will accomplish in that time.  That means committing your thoughts to paper and making a list of the intentions you are pursuing.  There will be things you want to do and things you have to do.  You will be shocked how just writing down something will hold you accountable when you just thought about your list in your mind. It is easy to “forget” your intentions.

With bigger goals, you need to write them down and continually review them.  Break down the ultimate accomplishment into smaller pieces, write them down, and move forward to make it happen.  Keeping the result in mind as you work through creation is vital to keep you working toward achieving what you want in life.  Without intention, long-term goals are virtually impossible. There must be a “fire” inside you to accomplish anything of substance and make it last.  People tend to move like a boat on the water with broken steering cables with no clear destination. They move very quickly in a circle, always in motion, but most energy is wasted because it isn’t taking you anywhere.  Keep your desired ending in mind and write down an intention to get there.

The Path

Once you set an intention and act for a purpose, the path you must take opens up in front of you. It isn’t by magic, and it is by necessity.  Each step you need to take will be there in front of you.  Will there be “missteps”? Yes, there will be an experience you need and the knowledge you have to obtain to reach your ultimate goal.  People without intention can lose their motivation after just one minor setback, whereas someone who desires to accomplish a thing will have no issue continuing their effort regardless of what is in their way. Your intention leads the way.

Keep moving ahead, even taking just a tiny step daily, and you will inevitably find the next available step.  The path to all outstanding accomplishments is easy to see from the endpoint of success. Looking back, you can see how all things are connected. Moving forward, you have to have faith in the Universe to cause all of the tumblers to fall just where they need to for your intention to become a reality.

Each day we begin a new chance to follow the goals we want, or we will unconsciously work toward someone else’s intention. Be conscious of what you want, write it down, revisit the statement often, and have faith you will accomplish what you seek.

“Every morning, you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them.”

“Intention is one of the most powerful forces there is. What you mean when you do a thing will always determine the outcome. The law creates the world.” — Brenna Yovanoff

“Every journey begins with the first step of articulating the intention, and then becoming the intention.” — Bryant McGill

“A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.” — Seneca 

 

21

Moving Forward

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Life is a Journey; we choose our direction alone.

Life is a journey from where we are in this moment to where and what we want to be in the future.  Some people listen to the things others tell them in regards to how their lives should look.  What job to have, where to live, how to live, what to like, how to spend your leisure time. The opinions of others will guide all of our activities and thoughts if you let them, like sleepwalking through your life. Then some people start to notice living like this, doing what someone tells you to do. Despite the fact it feels empty and unfulfilling, is no way to live.  It is for these people I am writing this. We are all on a spiritual journey, whether we choose to realize it or not.  The movement of growth in our lives is happening, and We are all moving forward into our development or hiding in the safety of our past.  That is the choice you are making every day.  Here are a few simple thoughts and tools to help you move into a more aware life of your journey.

Develop a mindset of Growth

Since growth involves moving forward, it seems our development mindset will be a vital tool to develop.  Carol Dweck wrote a whole book about it, but to me, merely understanding we can move our lives in any direction we want. The first step is not to let our patterns of thinking stop us. I know many talented and potentially great people stop themselves from success by their fixed mindsets. Look at your thoughts and evaluate where they land. I am not telling you what is good or bad for you. That is a choice we all make for ourselves.  The way forward is growth, and you are the determining factor about what you learn and what you don’t, just as I am the determining factor for me.

Fixed mindsets believe you have the talent to do something, or you don’t. If you can’t do something on the first try, you shouldn’t even try.  A growth mindset sees life as a process. You may not be able to master something in one attempt, but if you keep trying, you will eventually find success. Fixed mindset people are so afraid of being wrong and judged as faulty, they never even try anything new. A life of fear is a life of safety, but you won’t become what you want to be.  A growth mindset embraces the new, tries for the experience, not for the result.  All ends will bring you a lesson and valuable information so that the next try will be different and more successful.  What is your mindset today?

How Do You Move?

Is your choice taking you towards or away from the best version of yourself?

Each of us has an image of the ideal person we want to be. It may be how you physically want to look, or how much money you want to have in the bank, or the relationship you want to share your life.  All of our choices are either moving us toward this ideal or away from it.  Think about that, you make thousands of small decisions every day, and each one is pushing you in a direction and toward a result.  Being aware of your choices and what they mean for your desired results gives you the power to move closer to being the best version of yourself.

Where do you move to today? If you desire a great body, what food you choose to put into your mouth, the exercises you do, and the sleep you decide to get will determine your health — moving you closer or farther away from that idea. It is most important to take responsibility for our movement. It is our decisions that impact us in one direction or another.  If I choose to be in a relationship with a self-centered narcissist, am I moving closer or further away from my ideal relationship? I have to take responsibility for my choice, which has driven me further away from where I want to be. All of our decisions have power and direction. Keep this in mind as you make your thousands of choices today. Are you moving toward or away?

The Point of Choice

Let’s start looking at those choices we make in more detail.  In all instances, even the most snap decisions we make, there is a moment where two or more roads are available and open to us. This location is the point of choice, and it is from here we form and create our lives. I know I have allowed the subconscious autopilot of my mind to make too many choices for me. There is comfort in choosing the things you have

© Ciarrochi, Bailey & Harris

always done. You can clearly understand the results. But it is essential to realize just because you always choose one thing. There are a host of other possibilities out there waiting for you in the world. You can always choose a different path.

Take time in your day and look at the decisions you make consciously.  Why are you choosing the coffee you drink? The route to work? What do you wear? How do you speak to others? How do you think about other people? Is it the result you want to allow you to grow? Or are these things the choices you have always made? Safe and sound moments that hold you solidly in the past and place. You will not become something else if you cling to the mold of what you currently are. So often, it isn’t the decisions we make but our judgments about them that determine how they affect our lives.  We think something is terrible. After all, our mothers told us it was good because we saw a commercial in the media telling us exactly how to think and feel about things.  Your choice is to be a sheep or to make your path.

In the End, You Make Your Life

It is a result of your choices of the substance of your life springs. Complain if you want. Be angry about how much money you have and the career you are experiencing. Be disappointed with your relationships in life.  Then understand that you have been the creator of it all and the choices you have made.  Now you have the chance to move in a different direction, in a movement of positive growth. Have the understanding of yourself and your journey and know a step into the uncertain abyss of life is a step into development, and hiding where you are in the safety of the simple, is a trap. Get out of the web.  Life is a journey from where we are right now in this moment to where and what we want to be in the future.

“Don’t go through life; grow through life.” – Eric Butterworth

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” – Abraham Maslow

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” – Albert Einstein

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” – Jane Goodall

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it, and eventually, the confidence will follow.” – Carrie Fisher.

 

21

The Past

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udestiny historyrl So much of our lives revolve around the stories we tell. Not only the ones we tell others about our past but, more importantly, the stories we tell ourselves about the past. These stories about our perception of our history tend to color and temper our expectations for ourselves today.  What is the value of this? It is time to let go of history and move forward.

Faulty at Best

One of the things that I am sure of is that the history we remember and the stories we tell are not very accurate and controlled by the beliefs we choose to entertain. Memory is not a very trustworthy tool to use when looking at the past.  When five people witness an accident or another event, the stories will only have a base of consistency when interviewed separately. That is because we all have biases and beliefs that influence how we interpret the events in our lives. Accept that is true, and you can move forward without being attached to the results of stories from the past. Your memory is faulty, and you can’t trust that you remember things accurately at all. So living your life based on these lessons is faulty as well. Let go of history and move forward.

It Limits Today

Another reason to move past the stories that you let define you is that they will limit you. Focusing on the stories of the past that make up your character and experience establishes your identity. Who knows what new information and experience will do to change who you are and what you believe. Clinging to the past as an identifier for who you are will limit who you might become. It is like wearing a costume that you can’t get out of. Look at it, learn from it and discard it. There are no reasons to accept limits in your life.

You Can’t Change It

change the pastOne fact that is irrefutable is that no matter what has happened in the past, there is no way to change it. No matter what has happened, good or bad, it is what it is, and changing it is not an option. Many people spend their lives reliving old positive memories and glory days to remind themselves that they felt good about themselves at one point.  Or they spend a lot of time reliving mistakes and reminding themselves of the problems they caused themselves, like a badge of explanation for the problems faced today. Neither of these options is healthy or allows you to move forward. Your past can’t be changed, altered, or adjusted in any way. To think otherwise is a delusion. Learn from it and put it away, understanding that the only moment that matters is the one that you are in right now.

Our personal history can be an interesting thing to visit. There are people we met who we learned from, either good or bad. Some events affected the way we view life.  Some have allowed me to see the potential in all situations. Others make me wonder about the honesty of people. Regardless of the value, all of the past needs to be put away, so there is room for new growth experiences coming to you at this moment and in all the moments of the years to come.  One’s vision can only be clear without the shaded lens of the past.

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