Tag Archives: Kindness

22

We Stand The Same

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It is not unusual for someone to create a judgment of someone based on what you see on the outside. It is in our instinct to categorize people and organize them into easy-to-digest pieces where we can make assumptions about their background, financial situation, and motives. Is someone a threat? Are they someone it would be valuable to make an ally? These thoughts rush through your mind, and they are expensive in the short term to attempt to control your life. But life is not controllable, and judging people in this manner causes you to be short-sighted, closed-minded, and, most importantly, judgemental of others.

The problem of judgment is that we tend to accept our initial thoughts about someone as reality when, in fact, they are based only on our views with no factual basis whatsoever. This scenario creates a line of separation between us and others, which can be dangerous. In the least, it can be cruel to someone, and its worst forms can lead to dehumanizing other people, leading to hate, mistrust, prejudice, discrimination, and all sorts of negatives. A more comprehensive view is my challenge to you. Look at all people you meet from this moment forward on the inside. Because on the inside, you will see much more of what you have in common than what separates you. Look on the inside.

Alone Time

We all have a fundamental need to be a part of things and be understood for the person we are, the thoughts we think, and the feelings that result. Some people are more independent than others and enjoy more alone time. I like to have time to myself, but I also need time with other people. To some degree, we are all the same. Through our interactions with others, we find experiences of growth and development. I value the perspective of people who are different from me. Each time you meet a new person and have a conversation, you will grow slightly. And growth is the point of this existence.

Sometimes, it seems easier to put up walls and isolate yourself from others. They can be challenging, and understanding others can take some effort. Once you build walls to keep yourself safe from others, it is difficult for anyone to get in. So you are quite literally sitting by yourself, and that is where loneliness and isolation can influence you. Being lonely is dangerous because it skews your vision of the world and yourself. You feel something is lacking within yourself and your life, which is human interaction. Through this, we know we are not alone in this process, and we can take another perspective on things. Weigh that vision and make the parts of it that resonate with us. There is a feeling we all have inside of belonging and being accepted. It takes others for this to happen. We are all feeling lonely and separated in our lives sometimes. Be kind where you can and help someone else contact a little less alone. It takes very little to let someone know you see them and their humanity. Find a situation where you can do this today.

Our Thoughts

On the inside of every person, I see two rivers continuously running. One is of thought, and the other is our emotions. They are connected and continually flowing throughout our lives. Our mind is a tool that helps us navigate problems and create things, and that river of thought will help you. Even though many of the ideas flowing by us are repeated or unnecessary, the amount of attention we give them provides them with any power. Placing your focus on the wrong thing will affect how relevant it is in your life. As human beings, we all function the same way. Our thoughts are created in our minds and our experience and programming. It is up to us to be open-minded to seek new experiences and people to bring new ideas into our river of thought.

A mind is a great thing to have because appropriately used. It can help you master your life and existence and bring happiness and joy to the lives of others. Your mind can bring suffering and despair to you and all those you encounter during the day. The direction of your influence comes from conscious decisions we make about the thoughts we pay attention to in life. We all have the same choices here. Focus on the ideas of love or focus on the ideas of fear. This choice dictates everything we experience in personal relationships, friendships, and every aspect of life. Do you dare to reach out? Or do you pull back in fear of rejection or looking foolish? We are all the same inside, and there is a river of thought flowing through all people. Some have a deeper stream than others, and all we can do is test the waters and see if we can positively expand our minds or not.

Emotions

The other river is one of the emotions tied directly to our thoughts. They go hand in hand. The views we choose to focus on will dictate the feelings we experience. It seems to be a cause-and-effect relationship we have been experiencing since birth and will until we leave this life. The difference is that you can become more conscious about this relationship and change the thoughts we choose to focus on and their corresponding emotions.

It is essential to know this because you are not unique in your emotional functions. All people are working on the inside in the same way. The differences come from our programming and experiences. One experience can change our lives for the better or present an emotional challenge. How we choose to deal with them will dictate our happiness at the moment and our effectiveness in life.

It is essential to realize how understanding our emotions and thoughts can lead to a more productive life. We have made connections through our experiences and joy, sadness, anger, frustration, longing, love, or any other emotion. Our thoughts can take a situation that is just a little bit similar to something from our past and interject positivity or despair into it based on programming. Understanding this emotional connection, we can evaluate what we are feeling and why. Are you angry at what just happened, or is it connected to something from your past? The difference is immense. Why get all upset and angry over something which occurred 20 years ago? That event is long gone and can’t be changed. It is up to you if you let the experience control your life today. When you look at someone else and their emotions, understand they are just like you on the inside and have some compassion and empathy.

Compassion and Empathy

Since we are all the same on the inside, we all have thoughts and emotions running nonstop for all of our lives. Take a little time, and work it into your life. Look at other people through the lens of connectivity rather than the view of separation. Allowing yourself to step inside of the shoes of another and see their thoughts and feel their emotions can give you an insight into life. The value of this is to adopt a philosophy of compassion for the struggles and difficulties faced by other people and make your little corner of the world a little bit brighter. Show some kindness even when you don’t have to. Compassion is the international language of caring, and it is never a lousy time for it. Judge others less and accept their differences more because, on the inside, they are just like you. A human being deals with their two continuous rivers of thought and emotion.

Empathy is the ability to understand the situation another is experiencing, and I think to be accepting of their circumstances. All people are capable of great kindness and caring but can also be just as mean and uncaring. We can make the conscious choice of being empathetic or judgmental, and that decision will dictate our effect on the world and what kind of person we will be. Consciously practicing empathy allows you to put a small positive influence on the planet and those you encounter each time. There is no telling where this little positive flow you create will affect the world.

Each of us is in this experience of life and looking for meaning. Sometimes it is easy and others more complex. There are nonstop moments, and each has value. What precisely that value is will be determined by our ability to look at others and see that everyone is the same basic stuff inside. Experiences and programming have led to how a person thinks and feels about things. In all things, we have much more in common than the differences we could ever carry. Take time today to look at all people with empathy and compassion. Practice kindness and understanding, and see how your rivers of thought and emotion are affected.

“Whatever is my right as a man is also the right of another.” – Thomas Paine

“I believe in equality for everyone.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“When I look at a person, I see a person – not a rank, not a class, not a title.” – Criss Jami

“Don’t let your luggage define your travels, and each life unravels differently.” – Shane Koyczan

“You can’t make a difference unless you are different.” – Chris Hodges

 

 

 

22

Being Generous

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Generous-showing a readiness to give more of something than is strictly necessary or expected.

GenerousSome people are bright lights to all those they encounter because of their generous nature—giving more of themselves to the lives of others simply because it is the right thing to do, and it might make someone else’s experience just a little brighter. Today look at your life and see ways to be generous with your time, thoughts,  actions, and personal gifts. These things can make a lifelong impression on others and teach them the value of being more generous. It will all begin by being more conscious of your generosity in thoughts, words, and actions.  

Characteristics of A Generous Person

I have received more from the generous nature of others than I deserve. There have been people who have bestowed kindness on me throughout my life, and I hope that I have been able to regift that kindness to others. I know Generoushow fortunate I have been to have my life touched by great, kind, and generous people. It is more than the things I received. It was the feeling of worth that someone else’s generous nature toward you brings. Another human being values your happiness and well-being enough to do something special for you. The gift of generosity contributes positivity to life.

Many of the people who have shown kindness to me over the years have since passed on. Those kind souls are certainly missed for the bright lights in the world. THEY ARE NOT SO FAR GONE when I think of them and the kindness they showed me and countless others. A cycle of good stems from every affirmative, generous act ever committed. Be conscious of the way your generosity could shine through today.

 Generous Means

If a person has never received excellent treatment from others, this suggestion might be in order. Giving more than is expected can come in monetary ways, but most of the charitable things I received were not money. Your time is the most valuable commodity, and how to invest that comes from noticing your interactions with others. If someone needs encouragement, you should take the time to encourage them. If someone needs a laugh, provide it. If you see someone needs to vent, let them vent.

Look at all of the situations that you are in and ask yourself the question, “Is there any more I can do here?” Most often, the answer will come to you. Treat all people with respect and kindness, and they will well accept your generosity. When your intuition says, “do this or that.” because it will make another person’s experience in life a little brighter, follow it. Do something that you don’t have to do for someone because you want to, and you can. Generosity will always make someone’s day a little better because it shows a level of caring that touches the soul.

Examples of Generosity in Everyday Life

It is everywhere. Be aware of the needs of others, and look to give a little bit more of yourself than is expected. Be extra conscious in your thoughts, words, and actions each day when being generous. Make someone else’s life a little better and the world a little bit better place.

 

Being Generous Quotes

“Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won’t have to hunt for happiness.” ~ William E. Gladstone

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” John Holmes

 “That’s what I consider true generosity: You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.” Simone de Beauvoir

 “Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

 

22

Lose Your Attitude

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Attitude-a way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically is in a person’s behavior.

attitudeAttitude is everything because it is a result of the way we think and feel about everything in our existence, and shows the world just what we believe about ourselves. If you are not conscious of your attitude and why you think or feel a certain way about something, then you are at the mercy of that thought pattern. Many of our destructive issues resulting from low self-esteem stem from our attitude about ourselves and perceptions of the value we bring to. Today perceptions make a pact with yourself to be conscious of your position and the resulting experience that comes into your life because of it. Look at your thoughts, words, and actions and see how they reflect your attitude toward life, other people, and, most importantly, yourself.

Attitude Toward Life

Most people look at themselves as adults like they are set in stone. It is as if their attitudes about the world were poured into concrete when they were very young, and they never seek to revise them or improve them in any way. It is our attitude toward life that determines life’s attitude toward us. You attitudewill get precisely what you believe you will get from experience—your att, and yours the catalyst for life’s behavior toward you.

What do you believe about life? Is it fair? Is it cruel? Is it difficult? Whatever your attitude is toward life is what you will get from experience. Take a moment and become conscious of what those beliefs are.   If you radiate confidence and self-assurance, then the world will react accordingly. The same will be true if you lack confidence and are insecure. Life is an equal opportunity provider of challenges. Your attitude will determine the ease or difficulty with which you will face challenges. Create awareness in yourself of your feelings toward life. Expect more good than bad, and that is what you will experience.

Attitude Toward Others

It is essential to develop a positive attitude toward other people attitudebecause success rarely comes to one person by themselves. We are all interdependent in living our lives every day, and there is someone you rely on and someone that depends on you. It is our attitude toward others that determines their attitude toward us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your attitude should be to treat every person that you meet as if they are the most critical person in the world. Developing this mindset is a much more difficult task then it sounds. We are filled with bias, discrimination, judgment, and selfishness that limit our interactions with others. Being conscious of this will eliminate it as you treat others to treat you. Change your life by putting your interest in the stories of others ahead of your own. What can you learn from them? How can you help them? This attitude will increase your enjoyment of life and opportunities for success. Life isn’t all about you, understanding that is the beginning of really living.

Attitude toward Self

All people look at themselves as the hero of their own story. Their attitude and will determine if it is a success story or not. Your opinion about yourself develops continually over your life, and you can change that perception at any moment for the better or, the worse. It changes because of your actions and your attitude about these actions. Before a person can achieve attitudethe kind of life they dream about, they must become that kind of individual. If you want to be successful, then do the things successful people do. Set goals, take action, and be persistent in those actions until your goals are achieved. If you think you want to be something but set no goals and take no steps toward it, then you do not want that. This is your attitude.

Too often in life, we shortchange ourselves because we fear failure or what others are going to think of our efforts. These fears manifest in our minds and tell us: “You can’t!” “You mustn’t,” “People will think I am crazy.”, or any other negative message you can think of. A positive attitude toward yourself will erase those things. The human mind is only capable of entertaining one thought at a time. There is no benefit in negativity and many benefits to being positive. Why not consider positive thoughts and create an attitude of success for ourselves? Attitude is everything when it comes to success or failure.

So the challenge is to be conscious of your attitude today and be honest with yourself about what you find. If you lack in confidence and self-assurance, then start to change this. Set goals, write them down, take action toward them, and be persistent in following through until the goal is achieved. Your attitude will determine your experience in life with others and yourself. It all starts with knowing your thoughts, words, and actions today. Act as if success is already yours.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” ~ Maya Angelou

“Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.” ~ Og Mandino

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” —Ayn Rand

“Do what you have to do until you can do what you want.” —Oprah Winfrey

“Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.” —Henry Rollins

 

 

22

Spiritual But Not Religious

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People define themselves in many different ways, spiritual but not religious is a way I have thought of my relationship with God for about half my life. Nobody has ever asked me what the definition of this statement means to me until today, and it was astonishing to me I had never really written it down. I am stating my views in this way to define spirituality and why it has little to do with religion for me. The tableau of results depicts my path, and like most trials in life, I am on it due to my choices.

Being Conscious of Choices

The first thing I will explain about myself is that I have become more conscious of my choices in life over the years and the subsequent repercussions each decision will bring to your life. We are all programmed from the time we are born to the actions and beliefs which will help us become accepted in our culture and to belong. If you are not aware of your choices, then this programming will make the choices for you.

I was raised by my parents and family religiously, and I went to church every Sunday for my entire childhood. I believed what people told me wholly and blindly. As I grew in life, I noticed inconsistencies between what they told me and the life I experienced. When I started to question these things, the answers I found moved me away from my upbringing. But not away from God. We are all gifted with the ability to ask and choose for ourselves, and I think that is a skill that makes us uniquely human.

Nobody Excluded

One of the teachings I found most incorrect was that if someone didn’t believe as you did, they were wrong and probably going to be denied a trip to heaven in the afterlife and sent to an eternity of punishment in hell. As a child with a pure heart, I never understood how a God, who is love, would ever make anything like that happen. The conclusion I came to was that they wouldn’t.

I have found there is the ability to be a great person and the ability to be the opposite of that inside each of us. You have to fight to be the best person you can be because it is far too easy to drift into the negative. Since we all have goodness inside them, all people deserve redemption. I think a person’s actions demonstrate how they are living life right now. Most people are doing the best they can at this moment, and they deserve our encouragement, not our condemnation.

I Am Responsible

So to be spiritual means to me that I am responsible for my choices and the reactions I have in life. If I fight to continually act in kindness, understanding, empathy, sympathy, joy, and love in dealing with all people, then I feel I am on the right path in life, doing what I can to make things better.

On the other hand, should I choose not to live that way and give in to the easy decisions of being hateful of others who think differently from me, judging others, indifferent to the difficulties of others, acting from a place of fear, then the harm I cause is my responsibility in life. I have found that which choice I make leads directly to my experiences in life.

In Conclusion

To sum it up, I believe being spiritual is my relationship with God and what that means. Seeing that all people are connected, even those we may not like. Through our common humanity, we are here in this life together. To judge someone negatively because of their religion, nationality, ethnic heritage, skin color, or other factors is not Godly.

On the sunny side of Sunday, I have met many people who preach love, but in the shade of the rest of the week speak hate about those who are different from them. To be exclusionary, judgmental, and hateful are not positive traits of any Godly organization or people I want to be associated with within my life.

We all can choose which road we take. Acceptance or judgment? Kindness or meanness? Giving or taking? Love or fear? You will decide for yourself as I have and continue doing for yourself. That is what defines spirituality to me.

“Spirituality is not running away from the battlefield of life. Spirituality is blossoming every dimension of life with love, responsibility, equanimity, creativity and compassion.” – Amit Ray

 

 

22

What You STAND For

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What do you stand for? That is a simple question I read last week that has been on my mind, along with another issue that I will address later. As for what I stand for, I want specific, stable things that I am striving to represent every day of my life. So I made a shortlist explaining the sort of person I want to be identified as today. This list is with the apparent exception that I may have failed to live up to these things in the past, but in that process, I have realized the extreme value each possesses and why it is so important to know what you want to stand for. It defines who you are and the experience you have in life. More importantly, how my choices and behavior will positively affect others.

Choose to be Kind

Kindness- In all things, I would like service to be the first thing I practice. All people live their own lives and have their own experiences, and their actions and behavior are theirs. I can only control myself, and I would like kindness to be the first word someone thinks of when they think of me. In my experience, a lack of compassion arises when you put your needs ahead of everyone else, leading to fear and worry. Letting this go is easier than you might think. Through a practice of kindness, you will meet all of your needs, and you will make the world a little better place. Do you stand for kindness? I hope I do.

Honesty is the Best Policy

Honesty- A friend once told me that it is human to be dishonest. That may be so because we all seem to lie an awful lot. Small lies, big lies, manipulative lies are all a part of the package. I know that I have lived in my past, mostly out of fear that I might look wrong or, more often, to avoid hurting someone else’s feelings. But it has been a while since I have consciously told a lie because I don’t care what others think of me and what I do, and I care enough about everyone I know to say the cold hard truth. I want all people I deal with to know that what I tell them will be the truth to the best of my knowledge. I don’t think I can do better than that. All things seem to flow perfectly when the truth is told. Do you stand for honesty?

What You Do When Nobody is Watching

Integrity- Along with honesty is integrity. I will do what right all the time is. Not just when it is convenient or when others are around. I will do what is right because I am there, and even if nobody else knew of my transgression, I would know, and the energy from that failure would permeate the rest of my life and cause problems. I would instead behave with integrity and do what right and decent all of the time is. I want my conscious energy to be focused on being and doing the right thing. I will know it is the right thing because it will be in my heart. I am continually seeking guidance for proper guidance. Do you stand for integrity?

Smart is Best

Intelligence– I want to be represented by the idea that all things I do will at least have a general knowledge behind them. I can’t promise to be the most intelligent person in the world, but I can be as bright as I am capable of being. This idea means I am never satisfied that I know it all. There are new things to learn and new ways to grow until the ultimate end waiting for us all occurs. I endeavor to continually learn new things, expand my horizons, and become better today than I was yesterday, just a little bit. Do you stand for intelligence?

Be Positive or Go Home

Positive Attitude-In all things, you have a choice, to be positive or negative. To complain and give away all of your power or address all situations by feeling great about them. We all feel bad sometimes, but that doesn’t mean we need to accept that part of our attitude. It is a simple choice that determines the difference in your path. You look at the flaws of the things you perceive to be missing, or you are grateful for what you do have. We always have the choice to embrace the joy in a moment. I wish all days were perfect and full of easy things to be happy about, but they will not. Life will bring challenges for you to grow. It is up to you to accept the challenge and become better or shrink from it and become its negative, scared, fearful victim. I am hoping I always seek the lesson, am grateful for it, and approach things from the mindset of joy and opportunity. Do you stand for a positive attitude?

Let’s Work Together

Cooperation– People look at the world in two primary ways: cooperation or competition. When I was a young man, I loved playing sports, and I always thought the match was the thing to prove you were better than someone else. That missed the value entirely. The real lesson was that you could rise and become better as a collective through cooperation with your teammates than you were as an individual. Great things can be done cooperatively and far surpass the selfish things that competition brings. Looking back, I value all the people that I ever was a part of a team with at whatever level. There are many situations that, in some small way, work together to allow the group’s strengths to overcome the weakness we all have as individuals, and that plan is fantastic. I want to take that into every relationship I have, personally and in business ventures, always. Do you stand for cooperation?

Better Today than Yesterday

Improvement– In my life, I have noticed that either you are getting better or you are getting worse. It is sporadic to stay the same, even for a day. So it is my goal to improve 0.01% each day somehow, but on the best days, physically, mentally, and spiritually. If I can manage to do that, then I will be a better person today than yesterday and hopefully have a more positive effect on the world than before. You are going to change in some way. I am probably choosing to be better rather than getting worse. This is often a choice to seek the other things I stand for; this should happen naturally, but it is vital to set an example for others that is positive in a world full of bad examples. Do you stand for improvement?

So there is a shortlist that I could expand upon for many pages. Maybe this is the next book idea in some way. But for today, I wanted to state what I want to stand for to guide myself in life. To help me when I have questions about what I should do. I want to say yes or no based on the things that I stand for. What is it that you stand for, not just in words, but in thoughts and actions as well?

“Self-praise is for losers. Be a winner. Stand for something. Always have class, and be humble.:- John Madden

“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.”- Peter Marshall

“You must stand for something! It does not have to be grand, but it must be a positive that brings light to someone else’s darkness.”- Anthony Carmona

 

22

Character Development

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Character- the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.

CharacterIn our development as people, we result from the experience we endure in life. This fact is particularly actual when it comes to a person’s character. Either we have a good or bad feeling. The type we are provides a quality that is displayed clearly through a person’s thoughts, words, and actions. If you have traits you wish to improve yourself, we all have the free will to do this. Think about your character today, not just the areas you are doing well, but all of the ones you want to improve in. Character is what you do when you think nobody is looking. Remember, you are always looking. You can’t fool yourself. Consciously develop the character you want to represent you and share it with the world. It will be your legacy, one way or the other. The great news is you get to decide what impact you will have.

Character is in Constant Development

A person’s character is not chiseled in stone the day they are born, and it is developed through conscious choice over a lifetime. It has many aspects to Characterit. The way you treat others, level of honesty valued in life, consistency of behavior, the story of courage, ability to think, confidence in yourself, integrity, and many other factors all combine to create your character. We are taught many of these things, but we are continually adding to them through experience, even if we are not conscious of this process. People enter your life and change you, and a new understanding of loss or gain shifts your perspective.

Once you know that you can develop your character, there is no excuse not to find ways to improve. It involves two simple things:  1. honesty about yourself and  2. a willingness to grow and develop. Nothing is stopping you from enhancing but your self-imposed limitations. Find your strong points and celebrate them. Find areas in need of improvement, set goals to get better, take action to do just that. At the end of life, you will be the one responsible for all that you did or did not do. There is no deceiving yourself then. Don’t lie to yourself now. Develop your character exactly as you want it to be. Your choices in every moment of every day decide if your character traits or positive or negative.

Your Character Is Important

Not only will your positive or negative character influence your own life, but it will have sway over everyone you come in contact with as well. There is an energy connected to each thought we have, and positive or negative will be evident to those we have a connection with on our daily journey. Think of Characterthe people you enjoy having contact with, and think of those you don’t. With every interaction you have each day, the person you interact with has one of those two reactions. Your character determines which one.

Your choices in character will stem from your preferences of thought. It is a constant struggle to maintain the positive qualities of honesty over deceit, kindness over meanness, giving over selfishness, confidence over doubt, or love over fear. The decisions we make in character are vitally important because they determine your real value to the world and its collective consciousness. Developing a better attitude improves the world.

Tough Times Build Character

Stressful moments are, unfortunately, a part of living life. Tough times come to us, whether we feel we want them or need them. But there is an element of need we all have of roadblocks in life to grow into the best versions of ourselves. It is impossible to see what good can come from a situation when you are in a storm of pain and suffering. You are just in survival mode. But as that mode kicks in, you have to start to grow and change, or you will be overwhelmed and unhappy for the rest of your life.

Finding hidden strength and talent waiting hidden in your being is the reward for tough times. The character still maintains the things you think are correct even though the pain and sadness of life are real characters. In these extreme moments of choice, our true person is developed and revealed to the world. If you don’t like who you are becoming, then choose differently. The development of a positive life or a negative existence is all up to you and the choices you make.

Be Conscious of Your Character

CharacterThat makes the challenge today to look at your character honestly and critically. It isn’t easy to look at the fiber of our being and see where we fall short. But it is in this realistic vision your path of improvement will become evident. Do you need to be more honest? Braver? Follow through better? Be kinder? Be more accepting? Love yourself more? Whatever the points in need of improvement are, you can change and improve them. Nothing can stop you except for you. Be conscious of your character and what makes up your vital essence of today’s thoughts, words, and actions. By developing this element of your personality, you will be defined to the world: one way or another. There is no covering up or hiding from the results.

“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” –Helen Keller

“Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.” –Albert Einstein

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.” –Abigail Van Buren

 

22

A Belief

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Belief- an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.

It is essential to understand what a belief is and how it affects our lives. A belief is a thought that we supply an attachment to and accept as true and accurate in our lives. What you choose to believe will determine the foundation of your life, and that is a significant thing because it will lead to your reality. If you have an attachment to a belief limiting your potential, you may never be able to create all you are capable of. Be aware today of all of the expectations we have chosen to accept and how they influence your life. Analyze where they come from and what evidence is there to back them up. This vision begins with a focus on your thoughts, words, and actions around your beliefs and how they influence your behavior and control what accomplishments you will experience. (see video)

Don’t Limit You

All people should value themselves and the gifts they bring to the world. You have a gift to get into the world, and the pursuit of life is to find that gift and allow it to come into the world. It will let you light up and, in turn, brighten the world as well. Too often, we have made beliefs that dim our lights limit our efforts and expectations of what we can accomplish and achieve. These beliefs have as much power to restrict us as we allow them to have. It is always up to you which ideas you actively accept and let slide beliefpast. How we feel about our values and abilities is probably the most crucial factor in developing our self-esteem and confidence. Too often, our lights are turned off before we even get a chance to see what we can do because we have decided to accept a limiting belief as accurate, and it isn’t.

People who have chosen to be limited feel the need to limit others and are not fulfilled. Misery loves company, and they consciously or subconsciously deter all others from pursuing theirs. First, because misery loves company, but more importantly, I think if someone else succeeds around them, develops their talents, and finds success,  it makes the folly of their limiting belief apparent. That is a scary thing for them. YOU build your self-worth based on how you feel about your abilities, skills, and choices in life. Choose to look at yourself in the best light. It is not arrogant to love yourself, and it is common sense. We should all understand this is the only life you have. Don’t waste your opportunity living the limiting beliefs of others. Change them, forget them, and see how great a person you can be and what great things you can accomplish.

You Can Do It

It is credited to Henry Ford, but I think anyone who has ever endeavored to achieve anything could also say it. “If you believe you can, your right. If you believe you can’t, you are also right.” No more accurate evaluation of our beliefs beliefhas ever been made. It doesn’t mean that you will never fail; it means that the “failure” is merely a lesson or a necessary step along the path to ultimate success and fulfillment. If you let a setback destroy your belief in yourself, then you will indeed be limited your whole life. You can choose the path of limit or keep going and see what happens next. Learn and grow.

Make a goal, create a dream, and keep on talking nonstop action toward it. This is the path to success in all areas of history. Very few things will come “easy.” They take effort and work. But isn’t that a pretty simple formula? Cut out the harmful noise of others and keep to your task. If you know that you can become whatever you want, why do we let our beliefs stop us?

Creating Positive Beliefs

You only have a relatively short amount of time in this life. You can choose if you spend it being small because someone else thinks you are unrealistic…….. or you can make an effort and take your chances. People are afraid of those beliefwho achieve because they see what they could have achieved if they had believed in their faith and abilities a little more.

Be true to yourself and recognize your beliefs, limiting you and causing you to be modified in your pursuits of fame, money, charity, kindness, or whatever you are looking to create. Recognizing a limiting belief is the first step to changing it and replacing it with one that serves you and your life. You are a great soul seeking expression, and anything or anyone who tells you something that takes away from that limits you.

It is a scary proposition to be responsible for your life, but you are, and if you are not where you wish you were, then take steps to start moving in that direction. It is totally up to you. Create awareness around your thoughts, words, and actions today and see what beliefs dictate your reality and if you are limiting others with your own limiting beliefs.

Quotes on Belief

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.” ― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

“Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.” ― George Carlin

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember, all things are possible for those who believe.”– Gail Devers

“Another belief of mine; that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.” Margaret Atwood

 

 

22

Your Choices

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Don't Regret the Past
A Ship Carrying A Choice You Made

I was discussing with a friend the other day about all of the things we had done that, in retrospect, seemed like bad ideas.

Failed relationships, poor decisions, wrong turns on the path of life all came up, and my friend said the magic phrase, “If I knew then what I know now, things would be different. If I could only do it all over again.”   That thought is probably one that everyone has had at some point in their lives. I, myself, have thought this before, but not any longer.

If allowed to go back in time and make different choices, I would have to pass, and here is why.

First of all, it is common to look back with a sense of nostalgia and not with realism. Choices were made for a reason. You have no way of knowing how a change in your life would affect you today.

Things could have turned out much worse for you. A Teacher best explained it to me this way. If you picture all of those choices you didn’t make as ships sailing in the distance, you can see the sails full of wind pushing them off into the horizon.

You are wasting your time chasing them with regret because you will never catch them, and you don’t know what is beyond the horizon. Those ships may have carried you to some very unsavory and unwanted results.

Things could have been much worse for you if you had made a different choice. We only focus on a lofty, positive result when we think of doing things differently. When the outcome could have been disastrous.   Since you could be far better off with the choice you did make, thoughts like this appear to be a waste of effort.

Secondly, constantly questioning your past decisions will make it much more difficult to enjoy what you do have today.

You may have a good job or a relationship you value, and you won’t be giving them your full attention and enjoying them as much as you could if you waste your energy pining away about the past and what might have been.

Every one of life’s choices is a potential learning experience, and usually, the decision of whether it was a good or a wrong choice is made solely by you. You can choose to get something good out of almost every situation you encounter, or you can choose to get something wrong. It is all up to you.

So why not enjoy what you have today and appreciate the experiences that have gotten you here, rather than spend your days rehashing old mistakes and carrying around the regret of what might have been.

Third, one of the great things about getting older is that we do, even if we don’t try, gain experience and a form of wisdom with it.

From the day we are born, we are continually learning new things to navigate the sometimes tricky channels of life. Some people take much more advantage of these learning experiences than others. Without all of the “mistakes” we have made along the path of life, we would lose much of the hard-earned wisdom and knowledge we have gathered over the years.

Everybody has the ability for good and to live a life that satisfies them and makes the world a better place. Regretting your past decisions is a form of self-loathing that decreases your self-esteem and makes living an authentic life more difficult.

If you dislike your choices so much, you must dislike who you have become, and it is hard to be happy when you are forced to face a person in the mirror every day that you are not very fond of sometimes.

 

Don't Regret the Past
You Choose to be Whatever you want.

Finally, we all have the ultimate choice for what type of person we are to be. Regardless of all of the options we have made. What you did yesterday, ten years ago or twenty years ago, has very little to do with who we choose to be today.

Nothing can stop you from being positive except yourself. Nothing can stop you from being productive except yourself. Nothing can stop you from being great except yourself.

The past is stored in the high attic of your mind. It is OK to remember and visit and pour over past experiences to glean wisdom, but to carry around a profound sense of regret about things will get you nowhere.

Today is the next great day of your life, and you can choose to make it so or decide to turn it into another moment you will regret in the future as you watch it sail into the horizon.

Quotes About Regrets:

“A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.”  – John Barrymore

“Accept everything about yourself – I mean everything, You are you, and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.”-Henry A. Kissinger.

“Apologies are pointless, and regrets come too late. What matters is you can move, on you can grow.”
Kelsey Grammer

“Chris Cooper once told me never to have any regrets. After Chris said that to me, I walked into every scene thinking, ‘exhaust every possibility.’ Once you get to a certain place, it’s like you just deliver everything you’ve got. I don’t have any regrets. It pops up in my mind over and over and over again.”
Jake Gyllenhaal

“For my own part, I abandon the ethics of duty to the Hegelian critique with no regrets; it would appear to me, indeed, to have been correctly characterized by Hegel as an abstract thought, as a thought of understanding.”
Paul Ricoeur

“Had we not pursued the hydrogen bomb, there is a very real threat that we would now all be speaking Russian. I have no regrets.”
Edward Teller

“Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.”
Louisa May Alcott

“Having regrets and things, it just takes your time away.”
Leif Garrett

“He had to deal all at once with the packed regrets and stifled memories of an inarticulate lifetime.”
Edith Wharton

“I already gave my best. I have no regrets at all.”
William Hung

“I do not allow myself vain regrets or foreboding.”
Mary Chesnut

“I don’t have a lot of regrets in my life.”
Cathy Freeman

“I don’t have any regrets. When I quit college and moved to Los Angeles to become an actress, it was so that I would not look back and have any regrets.”
Amy Weber

“I don’t really believe in regrets.”
Wayne Newton

“I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about regrets because there’s nothing I can do.”
Sheryl Crow

“I felt that I ostracized myself by my behavior, by the past, by living with all the regrets of my mistakes, that I sort of wore a hair shirt and beat myself up most of the day thinking and regretting why did I make such a mistake? Why have I made so many mistakes?”
Sarah Ferguson

“I gave everything in my career, so I have no regrets at all.”
Michel Patini

“I have a lot of regrets, but I’m not going to think of them as regrets.”
Debbie Harry

“I have many regrets, and I’m sure everyone does. The stupid things you do, you regret… if you have any sense, and if you don’t regret them, maybe you’re stupid.”
Katharine Hepburn

“I have no regrets about launching Salon. For the life of me, I can’t imagine doing anything else.”
David Talbot

“I have no regrets about my life.”
Jane Badler

“I have no regrets because I did everything by the book.”
Alexis Arguello

“I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person.”
Rita Mero

“I have no regrets. I don’t believe in looking back. What I am proudest of? Working really hard… and achieving as much as I could.”
Elena Kagan

“I have no regrets. I wouldn’t have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say.”
Ingrid Bergman

“I have no regrets. I’ve got my health.”
Naomi Campbell

“I have to say that I have no regrets about my decision to become a priest or about the major directions my ministry has taken me… I have been and am happy as a priest, and I have never been lonely… I could have used a bit more solitude.”
Andrew Greeley

“I try to live my life where I end up at a point where I have no regrets. So I try to choose the road that I have the most passion for because then you can never really blame yourself for making the wrong choices. You can always say you’re following your passion.”
Darren Aronofsky

I usually say I did the best I could with what I had. I have no major regrets.
Stokely Carmichael

“I want to live my life so that my nights are not full of regrets.”
David Herbert Lawrence

 

“I’m not gonna try to defend, or undo what’s been done. All I could say about whatever’s been done, it’s been done, and it’s water under the bridge. I have no regrets of my life.”==Ike Turner

“I’m very lucky, I’m happy with life because my experiences led me to do what I had to do. I don’t have any regrets whatsoever.”
Van Morrison

 

22

Your Power to Affect the World

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Power- the ability to do something or act in a particular way, especially as a faculty or quality.

Each of us has the power to affect the world. We may not be conscious of it, but it exists. It allows you to overcome the feelings of being powerless. Listening to the media message sent to you every day will make you feel vulnerable and helpless. Reported stories and events make the world seem big, scary, and out of the realm of your safe little world. That is a perspective advantageous to industry and sales. If you feel powerless, you look for comfort, buy things you don’t need, and try to protect yourself by doing what the messages tell you to do. In short, it is easy to manipulate a person who feels powerless and weak. Worry comes directly from this belief. But you have power and can affect how you look at and act with life.

Seeing Your Power

Your power does not come from the things you own, but it arrives from who you are. It is the choices that you make every day which define you. Decisions made every day without a conscious thought determine much of your life. Look at your options and only choose those you want to represent you. These are the choices you know are for the greater good. Trust, a larger purpose, can be served by your straightforward, positive options every day. Then take responsibility for your decisions and your ability to make a positive difference in your life and the world.

Your power will influence others, even if you don’t see it. That influence will be positive or negative, depending on the tenor of your thoughts throughout your day. Do you know the danger in every conversation? Do you see a potential enemy in others? Or do you see the opportunity for kindness and creating an ally? Which way your thought pattern falls dictates your power. Are you making it positively or negatively? Power is yours every moment of every day.

Powerful Vision

Once you have actively embraced your ability and responsibility to make a positive difference in the world, then it is up to you to direct your power in a particular direction. Into your relationships, career, personal development, or any other thing you choose to improve. It begins with establishing a vision of what you would like to see in your life. Use your imagination to create the scenario you would like to see become a part of your life. Then be true to that personal vision. If you want to change your physical appearance, develop a health plan of exercise and diet that resonates with you and brings it to reality. Be consistent and live it as you move through every day; it will come to pass.

Each area you want to improve will change your life in schedule and activity. Rather than fight change, learn to embrace it. It is difficult for all people. Actively embrace the positive changes you make in your life. Focus on the personal honesty you use with people. Don’t worry about the result of your goodness. Be honest and accept the consequences. Have a vision pursue that vision honestly, and eliminate the worry from your life. The power to dictate positive change will result from that.

Challenge Your Inaccurate Beliefs

Lies and inaccuracies take away our power as well. We develop beliefs over our lives. They come from our family, peers, teachers, society, and authority figures. We try to place these things into concrete in our minds, and they provide us with rules to follow in life. But a myth can take your power if you attach it to a limiting or untrue belief. The perception we have of things dictates our patterns of thought and behavior. This can refocus any mind at any point to see things more positively. Hate, judgment and fear turn into kindness, acceptance, and love with a change of focused thought.

To do this, look at the negative beliefs you are carrying about other people, places, things. Stereotypes and fear of others you learn through your programming through history, family, or the media. Change those thoughts to the positive. Don’t allow people to mistreat you. It is the opposite. You have power. Never accept behavior that is below your standards. You recognize poor behavior for what it is. If you don’t want contrary in your life, remove it. If someone treats you poorly, it is your choice to tolerate it or not. That is power. That is your power. Believing that it is ok for someone to treat you poorly or deserve it is what we want to eliminate because it is a weak mentality. Be authoritative in your choices, and of course, you will have power.

Find Your Power

Take a moment and consciously consider where you put your power every day. How much worry do you participate in? Fear takes away your control; being a positive and confident person gives it to you. The way you think about your experiences will dictate the words you use and then your actions because of it. If you live in fear of this or that, later you will play a small game, make a few changes and meekly accept bad things as your fault. I encourage you to live with power. Take responsibility for where you are and what you have done. More importantly, look where you want to go and start taking action to get you there.

“In an expanded state of awareness, you perceive beyond the limitations of your body and mind and feel that you are part of the vast universe around you, connected to All That Is.”

“A good indignation brings out all one’s powers.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

22

Focus on Being Kind

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kindness
You are that one

Kindness-The quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

People face many challenges every day. There are expectations for performance from ourselves, our bosses, or teachers that make each moment seem not enough. Today, even in those times of complete business, let your focus shift from what you have to do to the small acts of kindness you can be responsible for today. It begins by paying attention to the focus of your thoughts as you look at others in the world today. Focus on being kind. It will correspond with emotions, words, and actions that spread your kindness to others. It begins with your thoughts.

Make Kindness Your Focus

Kindness costs nothing and makes everything in the world better. That is a fact that is indisputable. Time invested in being kind to others or yourself will have positive rewards for your life. It will make your perspective brighter and increase your positive thoughts and feelings, if nothing else. This positivity will make your life a more enjoyable experience because you decided to practice kindness and make being kind a focus of your day.

Kindness is Contagious

Like the most popular viral video you can think of, compassion can spread from one person to another. Each small act of kindness has the possibility of sparking understanding in another. If you choose to say the kind word or do the kind deed, there is no telling how far that act may go. It may allow someone else to see the value of kindness and practice it as well. And that, in turn, may lead someone else to focus on goodness too. So your kind thought or act can ripple through the world and affect people you have never met positively. The influence is just as significant for unkind people. So choose your words and deeds well.

Our Responsibility

Each of us is responsible for the effects our behavior has on the world. We set an example for others to follow, consciously or unconsciously. Each focused thought, word, and action allows you to take control of your influence and make it exactly what you want it to be today, right now at this moment. Focus on practicing kindness in your life in all of your interactions and see what happens. One thing is for sure, and the world will be a better place because of your choices. They are things only you can do.

“How wonderful it is that nobody needs to wait a single minute before starting to improve the world.” ~ Anne Frank

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind.” ~ Henry James

“When words are both true and kind, they can change the world.” ~ Buddha

 

“Let us seek to reign nobly on the throne of our highest self for just a single day, filling every moment of every hour with our finest, unselfish best.”~ William George Jordan