Tag Archives: Kindness

21

Responsible

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NEVER MAKE EXCUSES

Accept Responsibility for Life.

Each day, we can make these decisions to bring our lives into balance, enjoy the experience more, and connect us to life in general.

Today is a day of potential with a chance of increasing your enjoyment and energy by accepting things as they indeed are and taking responsibility for them.  Those two skills will allow you to experience a more happy and balanced life.  It is a simple concept but takes discipline to perform consistently. It begins by being conscious of your thoughts, the words you use to express them, and the actions you take because of the ideas you entertain. These are not complex concepts to fathom, nor are they trying to put into practice, but few choose to do them consistently because you have to be consistent in your practice.

Things Are What They Are

It can be difficult for people to accept unpleasant things as a part of their lives. This fact is true of experiencing some significant change on our part. Sometimes it is just easier to wish things were like they used to be, but they never are.  Change is happening all around you and inside you every day. The new comes and takes the place of the old, and that is a reality. To refuse to accept this is a cause of suffering.  Things are what they are. To think anything else is delusionary.

Accept the things in life. All the changes and growth that are going to come until the time that life ceases to exist continually.  Accept yourself and all others and the role they are playing in your life. Acknowledge that there is a divine presence in everyone, even if their actions are harmful and their behavior is unsatisfactory. Accept them and their journey as a part of yours. Life moves, injuries occur, rehabilitation is needed, you may find yourself down and in need of a comeback. All of these are possible once you accept how things are. You will have a solid base to go wherever you want. Accept things as they are because that is how they are.

Responsibility For All

My thoughts, words, and actions are all my responsibility, always.  This fact is a concept more people should focus on in their life. We all make a million decisions in a day. Most are rote actions we complete daily, and those decisions are made subconsciously and may or may not represent what you want to stand for. Focusing on all the ideas we bring into reality with our words and actions means you have to be conscious and aware. Choices of harsh words can harm people deeply below the surface where you can’t directly see the harm. It doesn’t matter what your intent is. It matters what the actual result is. If your words hurt someone, you are responsible for that, regardless of your original intention.

Many people choose to avert responsibility for whatever reason. It is a habit that allows the negative energy of a poor choice to stay with you for a long time.  Learn to accept responsibility for all things in your life, and when it needs to be “fixed,” then start fixing.  The acceptance will lead to a higher quality of life, bringing balance and happiness to your daily experience.  When you accept responsibility for all things, there is no fear of what others think. You are going to be productive and feel better about yourself. Your relationships with significant others, friends, family, and co-workers will also be better. When you make a mistake or hurt someone, take responsibility, and make amends.

Make Two choices Today.

It is up to you today to look honestly at your location and accept that it is a reality. You live where you live. You make the amount of money you make. You have the friends you have. If any of those things aren’t where you would like them to be, then you have the power to change them.  Be responsible for your choices every day and look for ways to learn from those who aren’t so good.  Use them to become better the next time you have options.  All of the things you choose are in your power.  Things may happen out of your control, but your decisions about dealing with them are all under your control. Nobody can make them for you.

As you move through this day, please take a moment and look at the thoughts you are entertaining about your life and how it is progressing today. Are you taking responsibility for where you are? Are you blaming others or circumstances? Are you just existing without much thought about it at all?  You have a conscious choice to see where you are and to accept responsibility for it. Once you do this, you can use your words and actions to make your life a more enjoyable experience. The level of enjoyment you experience is all up to you and the thoughts you choose to entertain in your conscious mind.

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”- Nathaniel Branden.

“Even the acceptance of personal responsibility may not overcome the temptation to believe that now is not the time to repent. ‘Now’ can seem so difficult, and ‘later’ appear so much easier. The truth is that today is always a better day to repent than any tomorrow. “-Henry B. Eyring.

“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.”- George Orwell.

 

 

21

F.E.A.R.

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Fear– an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

FearOne of the most challenging things that people face in life is fear. It is a formidable foe because it can rise in any area of your life at any moment.  Any experience in life can cause pain, and we are designed to avoid pain. So a traumatic experience at any age can cause fear to arise in your mind and affect your life. Fear can either be a motivator or a limiter to what you can and will accomplish in life.  Once you have been harmed, most people go to great lengths to avoid a repeat performance.  Raise your consciousness today, noticing the fear in your life. Look at where you are limited and the fear behind it in your thoughts, words, and actions.  By recognizing the fear and understanding its cause, the fear can be overcome and even eliminated. Try to be fearless. (See Video here)

Eliminate Fear

People often believe that the opposite of love is hate, but that isn’t true. Love’s opposite is fear.  All things seem to come down to a choice between love and concern.  To eliminate fear will, therefore, allow you to experience more love in your life.  Love should be your goal in all things. Not just the fearidealized version of attachment but the caring for others in the world, making your experience more positive.

The thoughts of fear are always in contrast to the ideas of love. Like two sides of the coin, they are there waiting for you to make a conscious choice of which one gets your attention.  There is a Cherokee parable about this battle in our hearts. Each of us has two wolves inside of us, fighting for control. One is love, and one is fear. Which one wins is the one you feed.

The thoughts of love are joy, peace, acceptance, hope, kindness, empathy, humility, and truth.

The thoughts of fear are anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, dishonesty, judgment, and ego.

Which one do you choose to feed? It is essential because overcoming fear will allow you to become a better human being. You are making your life and the lives of those around you a better experience only by consciously choosing the positive thoughts, words, and actions of love over those of fear. Be fearless.

Action Kills Fear

If you asked most people what they would like to do, they would tell you, but then follow it up with a list of reasons they can’t possibly do that right now. Lack of funds, time, freedom, acceptance, fearunderstanding are all reasons to keep dreams at a distance. These are all words of fear of talking.  The truth is behind the excuses is a fear of failure. A doubt has arisen in all of us since the beginning of our lives. But one that cane destroyed as quickly as all others.

The remedy to fear is action. Fear will kill your dreams, and work will open the doorway to achievement. Taking a vision from thought to action is scary because of all the things that can go wrong.  It is courage that allows you to move forward, take action, and see what happens.  No matter what happens, there are answers on the other side of action. Those answers will make your goals and dreams a reality or provide you with a roadmap of getting where you want to go.  Be brave and take action toward whatever it is you want to achieve. Be undaunted by potential failure. To do anything else is to cower in the darkness, hoping someone will stumble across your greatness.  Develop your excellence through action and defeat your fears.

Fear the Constant Companion

Fear is a constant companion in life. It is the brain trying to keep you safe.  But it is just a thought, and you have to decide what kind of life you will live. Life comes with no guarantees, and there are going to be situations that hurt you. That is life.  Learning to muster the courage to keep living fearfully, even though pain may happen, is how great experiences are created.  The only person who can be brave for you is you, so developing this talent will allow you to have the potential to accomplish anything.

So be conscious today and every day about the fears that are controlling your life. Where do they come from? What action will overcome it?  Become aware of your thoughts, words, and works around fear, and strive continuously to overcome it.  This conflict between your mind and your concern is the most significant battle we all face in life. Everything you dream about is on the other side of your victory over fear.

Questions about fear

What fears cause anxiety to you?

How do you deal with the emotion of fear?

What fears are most challenging for you to face?

How does fear help you in life?  How does it limit you?

Quotes About Fear

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.~Eleanor Roosevelt

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. ~Marcus Aurelius

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.~Japanese Proverb

Be Fearless

 

 

21

Belief

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Belief- an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.

It is essential to understand what a belief is and how it affects your life.  A belief is just a thought that we supply attachment to and accept as true and accurate in and to our lives. What you choose to believe is going to determine the foundation of your life. It is, of course, going to drive the story of your adventure.

If you have built an attachment to a belief limiting your potential, you may never be able to create all you are capable of building. Or, at the very least, it will provide a vast edifice needing to be conquered.   Take some time and develop an awareness of all of the beliefs you have chosen to accept as our reality. And how our lives are driven positively or negatively because of it.  Analyze where they come from and what evidence is there to back them up. Usually, there is not much fact, and we are running our lives based on another rumor. Seeing the origin of your beliefs begins with a focus on your thoughts, words, and actions around your ideas. And how they influence your behavior and accomplishments.

Don’t Let Opinions Limit You.

All people should value themselves and the gifts they bring to the world. Too often, we allow the opinions and thoughts of others to become a part of our belief systems. Even though they are untrue, make you weaker, ruin your self-esteem, and take away your power. It is always up to you which ideas you actively accept and let slide beliefpast your consciousness.  How we feel about our values and abilities is probably the most vital factor in developing and using the skills we have born in us. Too often, our lights are turned off before we even get a chance to take them for a test drive and see just what we are capable of doing.

It seems like people have chosen not to pursue their skills, and of course, are not fulfilled.  Misery loves company, and they consciously or subconsciously deter all others from pursuing theirs. But more importantly, I think, if someone else succeeds around them, develops their talents, and finds success, it makes the folly of their limiting belief apparent. That is a scary thing.  YOU build your self-worth based on how you feel about your abilities, skills, and choices in life. Choose to look at yourself in the most favorable light you can find. It is not arrogant to love yourself. It is common sense. You are the most critical person in your life!  Don’t waste your opportunity settling for the limiting beliefs of others. Change them and see how great a person you can become.

You Can Do It

Henry Ford gets credit for this quote, but I think anyone who has ever endeavored to achieve anything could say it as well. “If you believe you can, your right. If you believe you can’t, you are also right.”  No more accurate evaluation of our beliefs beliefhas ever been stated and provided a more significant explanation for what we do or do not achieve. It doesn’t mean that you will never fail; it means that the “failure” is merely a lesson or a necessary step along the path to ultimate success and fulfillment.  If you let a setback destroy your belief in yourself, then you will indeed be limited. You can choose this path or keep on going and see what happens next.

Make a goal, create a dream, and keep on taking nonstop action toward it. Action is the path to success in all areas throughout history.  Very few things will come “easy,” they take effort and action. That is what gives them value.  But isn’t that a pretty simple formula?  Cut out the harmful noise of others and keep to your task. If you know that you can become whatever you want, why do we let our beliefs stop us? Take affirmative action and create positive expectations.

Create Positive Beliefs

You only have a relatively short amount of time in this life. You can choose to spend it being small because someone else thinks you are unrealistic or incapable.  Or you can make an effort and take your chances and find your measure against the world. People are afraid of achieving their goals because they see they could have achieved just as much if they believed in their abilities and talents just a little more.  Be true to yourself and recognize the beliefs you have, limiting you and causing you to be limited in your pursuits of fame, money, charity, kindness, or whatever you are looking for in life. Recognizing a limiting belief is the first step to changing it and replacing it with one that serves you and your life.

How to do this is a matter of trial and error for each individual. Variables include your history, the creation of the belief. How much of a part of your identity are the belief and all the other things that make us human?  But with a plan of action, and a willingness to change the way you look at things, the changes will happen.  There are many methods to try, but I suggest making personal affirmations that fall within your belief system but push your thoughts in the most positive direction of achievement.  Begin with an active conscious awareness of what you believe and why.

It is a scary proposition to be responsible for your life, but you are, and if you are not where you wish to be, then take steps to start moving in that direction. It is totally up to you.  Create awareness around your thoughts, words, and actions today and see what beliefs dictate your reality and if you are limiting others with your own limiting beliefs. The future is as full of possibility as you believe it is.

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.”   ― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan.

“Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.” ― George Carlin.

 

 

 

21

Attitude Adjustment

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Recently, I have been reminded that no matter how much you focus on the positive, there will still be moments when you are going to feel some negative emotions. They may be a rare occurrence, but they do happen in everyone’s life. Rather than be held hostage by negative emotions, I look for ways to leave that negative mood behind and move into a more personally valuable space. Accomplishing this is not easy because once you let the gloomy thoughts into your area, they tend to take over and dominate your thoughts, words, emotions, and actions, negatively affecting your life and all those in it. The great news is none of these thoughts patterns are permanent, and some simple things can help you find a better space.  Our moods are energy, and we have the power to shift our energy at any time.  Be assured that an attitude is as permanent as the thoughts you decide deserve your focus.  You can turn it around, and here is how.

Learn the Positive Opposite

One of the easiest ways to change your emotional state is to recognize the negative and focus your attention on its positive opposite. When a situation occurs and stirs up negative emotion, first, understand what is happening. You know that you feel anxious, angry, upset, worried, mean, or some other feeling on the opposing side. Once you identify the emotion, you will want to understand what is making you feel that way. Some situation has brought on negative thinking.  Understanding this will provide insight into what you need to work on for yourself and better deal with future problems.  Once you have pinpointed the negative emotion that is permeating your mind, immediately identify with its opposite. If you are feeling anxious, focus on things that calm you.

To be calm is a challenge because negative moods and emotions are much like quicksand; they suck us in slowly and inevitably and are not easy to escape. The quicker your action, the easier it is to remove yourself from the negative mess. If you sit there wallowing in it and thrashing about, you are only going to sink deeper.  Recognize the negative emotions quickly. Change your thoughts to the opposite of what is dragging you into the muck. The optimistic view is a sturdy rope that will pull you out of that quicksand. Just keep your focus and be willing to believe you can control how you feel and affect the world around you.

Emotional Shift Example

Let’s say you start to feel about anger coming on.  Something has happened to trigger it and make you think you have to express this anger.  First, understanding that anger is the face of fear helps because you are troubled, life isn’t going to meet your needs. But an immediate shift in thought to gratitude or thankfulness for all the things you have will calm this common negative emotion.

Knowing that life will meet your needs will often assure you that anger isn’t the right path to venture down. The same goes for the emotions of fear.  The opposite of fear is love. They go hand and hand, and love is a many-faceted emotion.  If you are experiencing fear of loss, change your focus to the existence of those who love you.

Judgments

Negative emotions, like the judgment of other people, can result in a negative, bad mood. Many of our decisions are created based on erroneous information provided by the media, movies, or, most often, inaccurate preconceived notions. Judging others limits you.   Acceptance is the opposite position that always is available when judgment comes into reality.  Look at the feeling of judgment, recognize why you feel that way. Let it go and allow people to be who they are.  We judge other people on things that are different from us. Usually, judging occurs to make someone feel better about themselves. Or sometimes, a flaw in another is something we see and don’t like in ourselves.

Acceptance is the opposite of judgment and comes when we realize we are all the same inside, and no matter who you are looking at or what they have done, you are connected by our shared humanity.  All people are just a different version of you. Who is to say what you might do or have done in different circumstances. Focus on spending your thoughts on accepting others as they are and making yourself the best version you can. Each moment spent judging the lives of others is a waste of energy and brings you nothing positive at all. Look to recognize the humanity in all people. Even if it pushes you to the depth of your being, try to see another’s humanity.

Positive Focus

positive focusIn our lives, we always have a chance to focus our attention and energy toward the positive. Even when we allow ourselves to fall into a negative mindset, we can still shift it all around and salvage a day or even a situation. There will be some things that hurt us, and we have to react appropriately, but in everyday life, too often, people allow the negative to dominate their existence.  Sorrow and grief will enable you to experience loss, but when it is time to turn it around, you focus on positive things, triumphant situations.  With frustrations or disappointment, change the focus to patient understanding that all items are continually working, and we can’t see the result of any problem right now.

The positive is always available to you. It takes a focus and desire to move into a positive frame of mind continually.  Ask yourself, what kind of life experience do you want to have?  Remember always that life is a finite experience, and it will all be over too soon. You can choose to enjoy the ride.

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” Willie Nelson

“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.”- Hans Selye.

 

21

Fight the Dark Side

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Focus On the Force

Each of us has a power that we either use to help move us toward our goals or provide an excuse for not achieving what we want.  I think it is much more similar to life in the Star Wars franchise than we would probably admit. All people contain within themselves a duality. These two sides have a high potential to do things perceived as an excellent good or something representing evil.

All people contain this power within them, and that is the force of life.  It is not by magic that people end up living an authentic life. It is by conscious decision.  The choices we make in every moment dictate the nature of the force within us.  These choices are a refreshing combination of how we think about ourselves, the world, and everything in it.  Focus honestly on how you feel about things and your conscious thoughts today.  Notice the emotions that arise in you because of an idea. Then see the words and actions that come from that.  This process determines the power and nature of the force in you.  It all starts with thoughts.

Operating on the Light Side

We would all like to think of ourselves as being the hero and doing what is right always. That is not a human experience. It is a constant struggle between our two sides. Here is the simple formula for working with the forces of light.  Put others before yourself, be kind in thought and deed, accept the differences of others, feel joy, peace, serenity, love, hope, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.  All of these exist within us, and it is our choice to practice them or not.

What a world we would have if all people were able to function in this part of themselves.  If you look at how you like to be treated, all of these things are probably on the list. Choosing these things and meaning allows the force within you to help others. It isn’t always easy to think this way when you see someone doing something say to someone else or you. It is human nature to want to fight back and take an eye for an eye. When we are hurt, we want to cut back. To put that instinct aside and treat a situation with love will allow the force in you to do great good in the world.

Welcome to The Dark Side

Welcome to the dark side, which needs no introduction, I am sure because we all have one of these.  Our darkness exists by our insecurities, pains, and fears of our lives.  Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, superiority, and ego contribute to our dark side. These are thoughts that lead to words and actions that will directly or indirectly harm others somehow.  But the person who is hurt the most is you. The dark side of the force does contain the power, but it is corrupting, painful and takes away the good in the world for selfish gain.

Many people I have known can harm someone by directly consciously speaking words that exploit the insecurity of someone.  Then fear is generated, or selfishness, and that person has been infected.  Look at the people in your life and how they speak to you and others. Where on the scale of the force does their intention come from in each moment?  The allure of the dark side is that you will not have to suffer again. But the truth is, of course, your actions are causing you to experience. These thoughts and emotions wear you down and hurt you. To feel these things is the dark side.

Your Force is Always there.

Inside of each of us, this force I am trying to define is always available to you.  It is there to call on when you need strength to face a challenge.  Even in the most desperate times in life, remember the force in you will be there to push back the adversity and allow you to thrive if you let it.  You may have to make a course adjustment, learn a new skill, create a new goal, or start over.  Whatever the task ahead of you, the power to move toward it every day is the force inside you.

Be conscious of how you can help yourself and help others see the good in the world through you.  Take advantage of opportunities to show this. Consciously practice kindness even when there is no apparent gain for you.  Create hope for someone in the world.  Don’t let mindless anger brought on by fear control you. It solves nothing but creates pain in the world. Pain and suffering are the calling cards of the dark side of the force within you.

Where does your force lie?

Every day, you have a choice to cause pain and suffering to others or create joy and kindness.  These choices develop in the thoughts you choose to entertain.  Are they from the dark side, or are they from the light?  The force in you will always be there working on the side that you choose.  So choose your thoughts wisely.  The world depends on it.  And it all starts with your thoughts, the corresponding emotions they lead to, the tenor of the words you speak, and the actions you take.  All things will affect the force in you and the effect that energy has on the world.  Which side of the line do you fall on here?

“We must wake.” -Yoda

“Always pass on what you have learned.”- Yoda

“The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.”- Yoda

 

 

 

21

Positive Vibes

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How might you change your life and the lives of others by being more positive?

Give yourself a little positive boost today.  These things will help us to develop ourselves as productive beings. There are certain areas of life we need to cultivate and others we need to leave behind us.  As you look at the activities and conversations you have throughout your day, take a little time to evaluate how these things I am going to talk about work into your life.  If they are not something you are currently developing, consider taking some time to build these things in your relationships, inside yourself, and life in general.

Generosity is something you can practice every day. You can give things to others, but giving yourself, your time, and caring is much more valuable. Giving will provide you with a path to find growth and learning. Being generous is also the path to receiving as well. Look at your life and see where you can be more generous with your time and give others the attention they need.  Give time, give notice, give love to all areas of your life. The person who will be receiving it is you.

Discipline is another trait you can work on building into your daily life. Be in control of what you say and how you treat other people. All people are capable of causing harm to others with very little thought. Try not to be one of these.  Your growth as a positive person should not, in any way, cause damage to others.  Develop a sense of consistent learning and appropriate behavior as life gives you the lessons you need to become better than you were yesterday. Every day is an opportunity to stick to the good and let go of the negative, and to be able to do this consistently takes discipline in life, thought, and action. Work to develop this in your everyday life. My definition of discipline is doing what needs to happen to the best of your ability every time it needs to happen.  Practice this in all areas of your life.

Patience is a different sort of learning experience. It’s human nature to want it all and want it now, but that experience may overwhelm you and not allow for an appreciation of any part of an experience. Let all things evolve at their speed and in their own time.  By enabling each item to grow and develop as it needs, we allow an opportunity to appreciate that thing and a chance to grow from experiencing it.  Growth is the opposite of forcing things, allow the moments to be the moments they are, enjoy the process. Let things develop as they should. Pushing your agenda in life always leaves you empty-handed.  Set a goal, ask for what you want, then let it grow as it should.

Acceptance of ourselves, others, and life’s situations is another key area we can develop. We all must give away our thoughts of perfectionism, which is always a lie someone else has told you. Instead, focus on the truth of who you are and the quality that exists in every moment. What is perfection but a created thought of the desired outcome?  In other words, how we perceive a situation should play out. But who is to say what is best for us? What is the learning we need? Let go of the need for perfection and embrace the quality that naturally exists in every moment. There is a beauty in the imperfection and power there too.  Allow all things to be perfectly imperfect. In this imperfection, we can find ourselves and appreciate the matrix that is life.

Use your mind rather than letting your brain use you. Or worse yet, letting someone else do your thinking for you.  Control is gained by learning to relax and allowing your thoughts to flow. You are not identifying with any of them in particular but noticing each as they pass you by on their way. To think this way is meditation, and with practice, it can calm you physically and improve your mental capacity.

Most importantly, control of your mind will allow you to exist in this moment, which is the only thing you have.  Thoughts of the past and future are all fantasy, created in our minds. The present moment is the only one we can live in and learn to embrace and enjoy it. Connect with the things in your life right now.

Cultivate your most powerful asset, your thoughts. This growth occurs just like tending a garden. The activities you participate in, the ideas you think, and the actions you willingly participate in will allow for the appearance of the backyard of your mind. Most people never realize how they are creating their existence and experience, primarily based on the tenor of their thoughts. Keep your mind open to experiencing new paths of positive experience. All of our feelings will result in an emotional response, and those responses will be charged with positive or negative energy.  Positive energy will pick you up, and the negative will take you in the other direction.

These are all things you can add to your life today if you need a little positive boost.  Who wouldn’t want that?

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life because you become what you believe.”

“When you can’t find the sunshine, be the sunshine.”

“So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you think about adding new good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.”

“A great attitude becomes a great day, which becomes a great month, which becomes a great year, which becomes a great life.”

 

21

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

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Are there any truths that are universally accepted, no matter what? I think there are a few concepts whose value is universally positive and something you strive to practice in your life.  Because if you involve these things into your existence, then your life will provide more value to the world, and the world will offer more value to you.  Developing a foundation of trust is vital to cooperating with others and developing a long-term pattern of personal growth and interpersonal interactions.  The universal truths accepted and practiced will allow you to live a more positive, productive, and successful life.  Fairness, integrity, honesty, human dignity, growth, service, and quality are things we should strive for in our lives.

Fairness

The saying, “Life isn’t fair,” is one of the first I remember learning. But that is not true because life is ultimately fair, and looking to provide fairness in all we do is a positive aspect of a person’s personality.  There are equal opportunities for all people to pursue in life. There is money to be made, fame to garner, a joy to find, happiness to experience for everyone. Our attitudes about these things ultimately dictate how much we see.  Fairness is universal and always available. You are in control of how much you experience in life.

All people naturally strive to make things fair in any group setting.  Selfishness, of course, exists. It results when people create their self-worth around material possessions and fear they will not have enough. Enough money, property, ownership, or anything else a person can think and feel is a status symbol. But if you take all of that away, at our core, we can all recognize the value of fairness and how the practice makes life better.

Integrity

The moral code with which we live our lives will define who we are to ourselves and the world. What do you do when nobody is watching?  I have known many people who were quite hypocritical in this arena. Putting on a charitable, kind face in one situation but then being something entirely different in another.  Developing integrity inside yourself of kindness, honesty, compassion, and understanding is vital to becoming the best version of yourself, and I think it is the same for all people.

Each person decides this for themselves, and it is not something set in stone. Like all aspects of the human experience, it is developing throughout your life. You can improve your integrity and grow as you learn through life.  Being more positive is realizing your choices in all areas of personal development and deciding to “be better.”  That road is always available to you to change, grow, and have more integrity in your life.

Honesty

Being honest is a much more complicated concept than it should be.  Too often, we do not tell the truth because of fear. Fear of hurting someone else on the positive side or fear of losing something, lack, or pain on the less kind face of things. All people have lied at some time, and the repercussion of that act will stay with you forever.  Being an honest person is a skill like any other, and it brings the benefits of trust, faith, and appreciation with it.  It always amazes me how many people never focus on being honest when dishonesty leads to nothing but trouble and negative life experience.

Honesty is the best policy because you never have to remember what you said. The truth is always the truth, and it doesn’t change.  It also benefits improving your character, energy, and ability to make a positive impact on life. In this world, we live in can be a challenge, and the person it is most important, to be honest with is yourself.

We Are All The Same on the Inside

Too often, we define people by what we see on the outside and ignore the inside of someone.  We are all the same on the inside. We have thoughts and emotions which are telling us what to do and how we feel about things.  These things build through our conditioning and conscious thinking about living.  We determine if we treat others with human dignity or not. We understand that all people you encounter in all situations are just another version of you, and your compassion for their condition can only help. When you have a choice to be kind or not, be kind to another. Please treat them with respect and understanding.  Regardless of race, religious conviction, problems, body type, or mental capabilities, all have emotions and thought to dictate their existence. We are all in the same boat.

Try today to look at all people through this lens and see the commonalities existing within them.  Each person you see has a nonstop river of thought and emotion running inside of them, just as you do.  They are trying to make sense of the information they are taking in and the reality they are experiencing. Perception is our reality.  Separations exist to protect people in a physical, emotional, and mental way. If you look at everyone understanding their similarities rather than their differences, there is nothing to fear. We are all the same.

Growth or Death

It is the way of nature in all things to seek a growth path. To become better tomorrow than we are today or ever have been in the past. Each day of our lives provides us with the opportunity to grow from our current state of living, thought, and understanding of the world and become something more.  What precisely depends on us and how we approach our lives. It is my experience we are moving in one of two ways for the most part. We are getting better, or we are getting worse. I have seen people with nearly unlimited potential refuse to believe in themselves and wither away into a recluse of self-absorption.  I have seen other people with less talent continually work and strive to be better, and those people always win in the end.  Growth is a universal part of life, embrace it and become a better version of yourself tomorrow.

You can choose to follow a growth path today and become a better person than you were in the past. It is up to you to make the choices that lead you to think better, act better, and become a better person. These options are always there for you to make. The fiber of your existence will depend on the choice you make in this area. Are you getting better, or are you getting worse today?  Strive for better and improve a little bit, and your life will start to flourish.

Service

We are not put here in this life to do things for ourselves. The people who follow that path are narrow-minded, selfish, and unhappy at the end of the day.  Our lives are meant to have a purpose, and that will be revealed when you start to put the happiness of others ahead of yourself.  What service looks like to you will be unique to your talent, temperament, interests, and personal experience.  Rest assured that life will put you in a position to provide a service to others.

It is common to look at yourself and fear you don’t have anything to give anyone needs. That is a mistake; if nothing else, you can offer kindness, caring, understanding, empathy, happiness, joy, support, and tenderness to the world. That is the decision of service you can make in any life and at any time.  Is there any argument that these things will make the world a better place and you a significant contributor? Think of service in this vein, and all of the small ways you can make a positive difference will reveal themselves to you. Have to courage to give your service and change the world in a small positive way.

Quality

There is an opportunity on most days to show what quality you carry inside of you.  It may be any of the above characteristics you display in your interactions with others or just the patterns of thought you choose to pay attention to, but the quality of your life is an important thing to keep in mind.  Your class will show in everything you do. Not in the initial results of an activity, but do you practice the growth mindset and strive to get better? Or do you stick to the little thoughts about your abilities and shy away from being vulnerable enough to learn something new?

Your ultimate quality as a person will be determined by the positive or negative impact you have had on other people and their lives. This effect is a choice that you can make every day of your life and at every moment. Determine your quality and understand nobody, but you are responsible for the amount of quality your life provides others.  It is a sobering question to ask yourself how much quality you have provided to the world.

Finally……..

Take an honest look at your life at this moment and evaluate the direction it is moving in.  If you feel something is lacking, then start by looking at how each of these universal truths is being practiced in your life.  It may be an eye-opening and sobering experience. But one in which you can make choices to improve in any area you wish.  Need to be kinder? Make that choice.  Need to improve your integrity? Do that.  Need more honesty? Be honest.  There is always a chance in every new day to move your life in a different direction. It is up to you to decide if you will be moving in a direction more positive or negative than before.

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes; it’s a universal truth.” – Marilyn Monroe.

“We can’t control what thoughts and emotions arise within us, nor can we control the universal truth that everything changes. But we can learn to step back and rest in the awareness of what’s happening. That awareness can be our refuge.” -Sharon Salzberg.

“Each of us embodies, in a particular tale and clothed in the garments of time & place, universal truth, and everlasting life.”- J.R.R. Tolkien. 

“The only time you have is the where and when of right now. There will always be good times, bad times, hard times, and complete disasters. However, there is no other option but to be where you are when you are. That is a universal truth for everyone. The important thing is how you respond, what you decide to do, and when you decide to do it.”- Chris Murray.

“Universal truth is not measured in mass appeal.” 

 

 

21

Miserable

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unhappy 1It seems like some people have just decided to be miserable with their lives. There are several sure-fire behaviors that we can all choose which are guaranteed to make you carry a negative attitude in your life, give you less happiness and cause your negative emotions to dominate your days. Practice these things, and you are guaranteed to be unhappy.  Be careful because happiness will always seek a way into your life. We all have an inner desire to find happiness, so if you are not there right now, understand that probably many of these things are being practiced, and it is time you rethink your conscious thought choices.  Do the following things, and you will join the ranks of the negative. Do the opposite, and you will find fulfillment in life.

Be Mean to Others

A great place to start is to make sure that you are mean to other people. Most people are mean and accepting of others because we see faults in them that unhappy 2we see and dislike in ourselves. So look at what you dislike about yourself, recognize it in someone else, and be mean to them. Gossip about them, name call and discriminate if you can.

Never learn to accept your flaws because being mean to others is virtually impossible when this happens. Once you start to show kindness, your urge to be kind will grow. Soon kindness will outshine any mean thought, and you will be accepting of others and yourself. Happiness is an uncontrollable byproduct of this situation, so beware.

Be Selfish

Whatever you do, worry about yourself only. Let’s face unhapy 5it, and you are the only one that matters. Everyone else only matters as much as they contribute to the value of your life. If they can’t help you, forget them and find “friends” who will be able to advance your career and wealth in some way.  Never put another person first or care what makes others happy.

If you should start putting other people first, then your life would quickly become a happy experience. So be vigilant that this never happens. Once a person starts to give to others, it can grow into a habit. Giving is a precursor to receiving, so if you give love, you will also receive it. It is almost impossible to be unhappy when you get kindness and love from others, so be vigilant. Each day is a new opportunity to be kind.

Be Ungrateful

Never be grateful for anything in your life. unhapy 4Gratitude is a compelling thing and can make you smile, feel good, and be uncontrollably happy.

The funny thing is that if you allow a little gratitude for something, it will invite more of that very thing into your life. Soon you will be smiling all the time and happy without even realizing it. So make sure to be ungrateful to maintain a solid level of unhappiness in your life.

Send Hate

For no real reason other than you are completely miserable, send hate out to everyone and everything. That is sure to make you very unhappy. Be careful, though, because there will always be people who are going to want to love you despite all of your flaws.

Love is a potent emotion, and once you start to allow it in your life, it will tend to grow. Soon before you know it, you won’t even be able to fathom how you ever hated anything. You will start to care about people, and happiness will be the unstoppable result. You will send love to all people, and the momentum in your life will be moving toward uncontrollable, unstoppable, and unimaginable happiness.  Who would want that?

Wallow in Self Pity

unhappy 3Finally, one of the best ways to build and maintain unhappiness is to continually feel sorry for yourself and blame all circumstances and other people for any misfortune in your life, real or perceived. Always ask the question, “Why me?” or “Why do these things always happen to me?”. Never accept responsibility for your actions.

Be careful here because once people stop feeling sorry for themselves, they could find uncontrollable happiness in their lives. You will recognize this possibility when you start looking for solutions rather than wallowing in the past or letting challenges overwhelm you.  Once you get past the why me mentality, happiness is easy to attain and hard to get rid of, so be very careful about putting the past behind you. It will make your life better.

Complain……………..A Lot

Nothing makes a person as unhappy as unlimited complaining.  Be unhappy about everything and share it with anyone you come in contact with.  Never let any positive words pass your lips. Even when good things happen, complain about them.  Not only will you be unhappy, but everyone around you will be unhappy too! It is a win-win.

The danger here is that some people will begin to use positive thinking. They will look at the good side of any situation, and that will definitely make them happy. When you speak with positive energy, you spread positive energy. So your positive talk can spread just as quickly as the complaining. Soon everyone you know will be happier, and it will all be your fault. Watch out for positive thinking, and it will make your life a happier experience.

As you can see from these examples that it is easy to make yourself unhappy if you want to. It seems like many people  I run into daily don’t need my advice in this area. Remember, it takes just as much effort to choose to be happy as it does to be unhappy, so choose your actions and thoughts wisely.

 

21

Feel Happier

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This is a much more difficult concept than it appears on the surface.  You can’t just will yourself to be happy. It has to come from the focus of your daily consciousness. As you become more aware of positive things inside you, the level of happiness you experience will increase. Too often, I have allowed my thoughts to dwell on negative things I don’t have rather than positive things happening all around me. I wanted to share my 5 secrets to experience a bit more happiness every day. They are not difficult to do and will make a huge difference in your life if you really focus on them each day.

Accept your current situation.

acceptanceMany people look at their job, their family life at this moment, or any other experiences they are involved in, and they choose to be unhappy because it is not where they think they “should” be. Or even where they wish they could be. Challenges arise, people leave, relationships end. We wish they wouldn’t.

At this point, you have a choice, to spend your time living in the past of what used to be, in the future of what may or may not come, or to live exactly where you are right now. The only time you have is right now, and the only place is where you are. So take the time to experience it fully, and if you don’t like what you have, it is time to start changing. You are where you are, and your life is what it is.

This doesn’t mean you have to like where you are or have to stay there,  but it is where you are.  Until you honestly accept that reality, it won’t be easy to move on to situations that will bring more enjoyment and happiness into your life.

Gratitude is the Attitude

gratitudeLearning to be grateful for the things you do have will allow you to feel more happiness inside.  At first, it may be difficult to count the good things in your life, but when you start to be grateful, you will start to enjoy all of the little things in your life. You will start to look for things in life that you can be grateful for. It will open the door to an abundance of what you want and need in life.

I also believe that once you start to feel grateful for the things you do have, then it will create that gratitude attitude and attract more desirable things to your life. You never really see all the good things you have and how fortunate you are when focusing your attention on something you don’t have.  Focus on what you do have, and that energy will increase. Soon you will find you have more great things and you will be happier. It is all about gratitude.

Be Passionate About What You Do

passionFind out what you are passionate about and do that.  It is a simple solution to being unhappy, but if your job or activities in life make you unhappy, discard them for things that do make you happier.  Find where your passion exists and do that thing, fully and completely.  We were each put here to do something unique to us, and this will be your passion.  You have to feel it.

I know that making a living is important, but at what cost does it come? Are you willing to leave your passion and love for something in the rearview for the love of money? We have only a finite portion of time to spend on this planet, and to spend it on anything other than what makes you happy and alive seems to be a waste. So when you feel unhappy about your career choice, remember this. When you revel in your job, remember this.

Kindness Counts

kindnessThere are no limits to the good that kindness can do for you. If you are spending your time feeling sorry for yourself, you will be centered only on yourself and have nothing to do but feel sorrier.  Being kind to someone else is like rolling a pebble down a hill. It will build momentum.

The secret is that by being kind to others, you are really only being kind to yourself. To encourage someone who is down, compliment someone, so they feel better, perform a random act of kindness.  Whatever you do, you will find that the flames of happiness will start to grow in your heart.

Live for Now

live for todayThis goes back to previous thought, but all you have is today, and making that the happiest time you can is about all you can do. You can’t change the past, you can feel bad about it and be devastated by it, but the past is over.

Today is all you are left with. Tomorrow may never arrive. There are no guarantees. All you have is today.  Making the best of what is with you right now is the only sensible thing to do.

Don’t sit around and wish for tomorrow or yesterday; neither is going to help you. Instead, look for today for your solace. Enjoy the little things that make it great. A cup of coffee, a talk with a friend, the beauty of nature around you.  All of these things do not cost much money or are totally free.    Much like being grateful, enjoying the moment you live in will allow you to be happier. This is mindfulness.

Be happy like a baby!
Be happy like a baby!

In the End

In the end, whether you are happy or not comes down to a simple choice, be happy or don’t. You have very little control over what is happening to you right now, and stuff will happen whether you want it or not.  You can be unhappy about it and spend your life in spiteful misery, or you can choose to accept whatever is and be happy.   It is all a matter of attitude, and changing yours will provide a difference as stark as night and day. So be happy and feel great!   

 

21

How to Think Positive

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Positive thinkingWhat is Positive Thinking?

Staying balanced in life can be difficult.  Sometimes there seems to be no rhyme or reason why things happen, and dealing with sudden, quick changes entering our reality makes it hard to understand if there is something we should or could be doing better.  In the end, shouldn’t we be happy? Shouldn’t our daily routines and struggles bring us personal satisfaction and make us feel valued as individuals?  I think that it should, and one way to do this is to practice positive thinking. But what exactly does that mean?

In a nutshell, the thoughts you entertain will dictate your reality and the enjoyment or discomfort you experience in each moment. The feeling you give credence will bring a corresponding emotional response, words, and actions into your life. Format your thoughts in a way that the results will be what you want. If you can’t control your mind and thoughts, someone or something else will.

What Positive Thinking Means To Me

We all have programming in our subconscious mind determined by our experiences. It takes our reality and interprets it in a way that makes sense to us and fits into what we know. The thoughts produced from this are automatic and consistent and will dictate everything in our lives. From the amount of success we have, the money we earn, and the love we have in life. Our ability to change these often negative thoughts into more positive ones is our number one weapon in creating the life we dream about every day.

Remember, your experience conditions your subconscious when you look at your past and draw conclusions about your abilities and worthiness. What you believe determines your ceiling of creative ability in your life. Until you choose to change, that choice is positive thinking.  In each moment, you can think in a more constructive and caring way about yourself. The decision to do this will allow you to grow.  From what I have read, most of these conditioning experiences happen early on in life, but all of life’s adventures can add to it.  Learning to recognize and ignore the negative comments from your past is the key to positive thinking to me and the catalyst for growth. 

It’s Not a Cover-Up

We all make choices that we know weren’t good.  I know I have, and in hindsight, I can’t believe how foolish and thoughtless some decisions were.  What was I thinking?  I used to beat myself up all the time about these choices, and they were a part of my daily existence.  A choice is a choice and to learn from the result is the desired experience. If your choice was wrong, forgive yourself. The decision may have hurt someone else, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.

Positive thinking does not mean to forget or overlook these negative/poor choices. It is a way to put them into proper perspective.  Accept that these things happened, then leave them in the past where they belong because no amount of second-guessing, longing, or fantasy replay in your head will change what happened in the past. But if you choose not to learn from it and seek a better future, then you are a fool. Positive thinking is knowing that you have the ability for growth and development.  Pursue it and find questions leading to your growth.  You can control the thoughts you think about any situation and experience. This choice doesn’t mean to sugarcoat things or ignore the negative, but deal with it and see the positives that can come from it.

Find A Positive Thought

positive thinkingI think that there are two schools of thought and emotion. They come from a place of love or a residence of fear. Fear brings hate, doubt, anger, jealousy, resentment, lies, inferiority, and ego. You can imagine that love brings with it peace, understanding, empathy, sympathy,  kindness, hope, truth, and, of course, love.

Positive thinking embraces the thoughts of love and limits the attention you give to the ideas of fear.  This consciousness doesn’t mean that you don’t have them because we all do.  Someone makes you mad or treats you poorly, and the thoughts of fear will arise.  You will always have a choice at this point, let them rule your actions, or recognize them, experience them, and don’t let them rule your actions. You are always in control of your thoughts if you choose to be. It starts with your conscious awareness of what you are thinking and where the view is coming from.  Anger is the open face of fear. It is a natural warning system to let everyone know you are experiencing anxiety on some level. Passion means your needs aren’t being met, or you are afraid they won’t be.

You can manage these thoughts by focusing on theories of understanding, empathy, and love. That is your choice always.

Seek Another Positive Thought

positive thinkingWhen I started to realize that I could entertain whatever thought I wanted, it changed the way I looked at the world and the people in it.  The power of knowing I was in charge of how I felt was a little overwhelming.  It made me want to learn more because experiencing life through this lens was much more fulfilling and enjoyable. Even if a little unnerving.

This learning led to more social experiments, and finding the reaction of others is almost always a mirror of the emotions you show to them.  Strangers smile and are friendly when you extend friendship.  People appreciate you when you show them appreciation.  It is not hard to look at what someone else does and enjoy the thought, time, and talent it took to create whatever it is.  Being positive about life on a surface level is more natural than negative, and it makes the world a better place. Being positive below the surface takes a lot more work, but the results will be a life you truly enjoy and create.

Be Positive About Outcomes

It never ceases to amaze me that when something happens to you, good, bad, or neutral, almost always there is a path, the growth or development in front of you; all you have to do is take it.  I have beat myself up and ridiculed myself for years about decisions in my past, only to realize I was wasting my time because of those things set in motion circumstances that greatly benefited me in the end.  I also realized that those benefits would have never been able to occur in any other way.

When we relax and let events play out, and accept what is happening, we can achieve greatness.  This letting go doesn’t mean we are off the hook on taking action because we always have a choice, and we can act.  Don’t be afraid to respond, but understand that your activity may end up in failure, but that failure may be the step you need to take to reach the highest potential that you have inside you. It can be in creativity, your career, or your relationships.

You Are Great. There is Really Nothing You Can Do About it!

Now it is time to stop blaming yourself for the past.  You made choices, you took your throws, and it didn’t turn out how you hoped.  Accept it, learn from it, and move on to the rest of your life.  You were not put on the Earth to let past programming dictate your ceiling of achievement.  You are here to be great!  Because you know what?  You are fantastic, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it! It is a matter of adjusting your thoughts to reflect that reality to the world.

Everyone is born with greatness inside of them, and some easily find it.  Some have to work harder because life is full of should haves, would haves, and could haves that will consume your mind.  Regrets shouldn’t happen because I can’t even conceive of the level of greatness inside you.  Only you can let it out.  That is about all anyone can hope for in their life.

Be conscious of your thoughts, pursue the positive about yourself, and counteract the negative, limiting ones. The thoughts you think and react to are all up to you.

 

“You are the only one who can control the way you think. Make sure you nourish the positive thoughts and weed out the negative ones!” Catherine Pulsifer

“In essence, the bulk of our negative self-talk comes from adopting a worldly standard and worldly values as the primary standard through which we filter our thinking.” – John Stange.

“I’ve always believed that you can think positive just as well as you can think negative.” James A. Baldwin

“Over the ensuing years, it was my positive attitude that allowed me to tackle and complete and compete in many diverse assignments.” Catherine Pulsifer

“A major factor in determining how our lives turn out is the way we choose to think. Everything that goes on inside the human mind in the form of thoughts, ideas, and information forms our personal philosophy.” – Jim Rohn.

This song by Stevie Wonder is an excellent guide for positive thinking. Enjoy!

 

How to change thoughts- when one comes up, switch to the other.
I could never do that= I CAN DO THAT
I’m not smart enough= I AM INFINITELY INTELLIGENT, HAVE THE RESOURCES, AND WILL LEARN.
I’ll never be wealthy=I MUST BE WEALTHY!
I’m always sick= I FEEL GREAT
I’m too fat = I WANT TO BE FIT AND HAPPY
I’m unattractive =I AM BEAUTIFUL
I will fail= I’LL DO WHAT IT TAKES TO SUCCEED
I am a loser= I WILL WIN
I can’t be bothered=I AM UNLIMITED ENERGY
I’m too tired= I MUST DEMAND AN ENERGETIC STATE NOW
That’s Really bad= WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT THAT
That’s impossible= ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
That’s really bad= WHAT IS GREAT ABOUT THIS?
I feel drained= I AM A POWERHOUSE
I can’t = I CAN
Maybe one day= I WILL MAKE THIS DAY
Hopefully= I’M CERTAIN
This is too hard= I LOVE A CHALLENGE
That’s a mistake= THANK YOU FOR THE LEARNING EXPERIENCE
What if …. = IT’S NOT HAPPENING NOW, DON’T WORRY IN ADVANCE
I should have= I DIDN’T, BUT I AM IN CONTROL OF MYSELF NOW, WHICH MEANS I CAN!!
I hate my life=. I LOVE LIFE.