Tag Archives: Learning

22

Life’s Best Teachers

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Learning From Mistakes Of Life

everyone makes mistakes
Mistakes help you learn.

Life is continually teaching each of us lessons. We need to pay attention to the daily events we experience, our reactions to them, and even others’ experiences in our lives to learn something on any given day.  One of the things that I have noticed about myself and everyone I know is that we don’t like to make mistakes. When we do, we beat ourselves up for them for days, years, and sometimes, for the rest of our lives.  It makes you wonder why we are so afraid to make mistakes.  Are we born perfect knowing everything? Aren’t mistakes an inevitable part of growing and developing as a human being?  If you show me someone who has never made a mistake, I will show you someone who has never tried.  It makes me wonder why we are so afraid to make mistakes as a society.  When you look at our educational system, it is designed to celebrate the achievements of a select few, while the majority of students, who may be the most creative thinkers and eventually the people who would change the world, are held up and discouraged by this unrealistic expectation of our society to conform.  Be perfect, or you are a failure.  Why are we so afraid to fail?

Everyone Does it; what Are they Learning From Mistakes?

mistakes
Even Lincoln had a few hiccups before finding success.

We are afraid of mistakes because we have an unrealistic idea that successful people don’t make them, ever.  When you look into history, you see the accomplishments of our great leaders. You imagine that they never made any mistakes.  Throughout his life, Abraham Lincoln failed miserably at almost everything he tried until he became president. Lincoln’s brilliance was that he didn’t let his previous failures stop him from continuing to try.  He wouldn’t have been the wise and talented leader he became if it wasn’t for the experience of those mistakes he made in his life.  Lincoln was not perfect; he was the ideal leader for that time in history.  Today the media would not allow Lincoln to become President because his mistakes would be broadcast as an indictment of his competence rather than an example of his character and perseverance.

Learning From Mistakes Doesn’t Equal Weakness

Another reason we fear learning from mistakes because they allow others to see our weaknesses.  Most

we all make mistakes
Whiteout can’t cover up some mistakes.

When you make a mistake, you feel like the whole world is watching, even though there may only be a few people aware of your misstep.  We equate these mistakes with being less of a person rather than just a natural part of the learning process.  If you never made a mistake, you have never tried anything new, and if you have never felt angry, upset, and embarrassed about a mistake, then you have never lived.  It is not a weakness to try. The ability to fail, evaluate why it happened, make adjustments, and try anew should be the backbone of any great educational system.  That learning process can carry over into every aspect of your life.  You will never really learn if you don’t look honestly at your mistakes and take the lessons you will give yourself. Learning from mistakes is a talent.

Mistakes in Controlled Situations

One of the many reasons that extracurricular activities are so vitally important to society is that they provide a safe place to make mistakes and quickly learn lessons about how to

buckner mistake
Even a big mistake in sports will teach lessons.

Overcome them.  When you play on a sports team, you will make mistakes during a game. It happens you miss a shot, you give up a goal, you get beaten by a player with more excellent skill, but these mistakes each provide you with a learning opportunity, and it is your choice to participate or not.  Sports can teach you to persevere, be unselfish, identify your weaknesses, and work to overcome them.  If embraced and identified, the ability to follow the learning process in a natural workshop will allow all participants to grow.  Even if you get cut from a team after a tryout, valuable lessons are gleaned.  You can quit the sport forever or identify your weaknesses, work to improve them and try again.  You may not make the team, but if you follow the process of trying, failing, identifying weaknesses, working to improve, and then trying again, you are well on your way to success.  This skill can be applied to any aspect of your life.

Living  Your Life vs. Running Out the Clock

As we grow older, many people start believing that they are immune from making mistakes.  The experience will help guide you, and wisdom will help you avoid simple mistakes, but if you make no mistakes, you have stopped trying to learn and have decided to run out of the clock.  When you have a seemingly good lead in basketball, trying to run out the clock is common practice.  Once the clock expires and you are ahead, you win the game.  Teams stop trying to create offense and score new baskets as they are satisfied with their accomplishments and running away the time.  Many people adopt this philosophy in their lives.  They plan out their lives on a plan, high school, college, career, family, retirement, followed inevitably by death.  At some point during this process, you will hit a run-out clock situation, waiting for retirement or death. People seem satisfied and never make mistakes again.  Not knowing something can be scary because if there is something that you don’t know, then what else don’t you know? That can inspire some people but scare the ever-loving crap out of someone else.  Learning and experiencing new things is preferable to running out of the clock.  Try something. If you make a mistake, evaluate why it didn’t work, make adjustments, then try again.  This is the learning process that can lead you to ultimate success. Doing nothing and running the clock will lead you to retirement or death.  Good luck. Time to start learning from mistakes and not being afraid of what might happen.

Life is a Learning Process

Life, as I see it, is a learning process, and mistakes and failure have been given to you as a gift to help you find where you have weaknesses or shortcomings, make adjustments, and achieve success in whatever sphere you want to achieve success in.  Mistakes should not be something you fear, like a monster. They should be embraced, evaluated, learned from, and then discarded into the memory of your experience.  Failure is never final until you stop trying. Hug your mistakes and value the part they play in your learning process. Taking the time to learn from mistakes is a significant part.

“You make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you.” Maxwell Maltz

“When someone does something wrong, don’t forget everything they did right.” Anonymous

“When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it: admit it, learn from it, and don’t repeat it.” Paul Bear Bryant

“Mistakes can turn you into something better than you were before.” Anonymous

“Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.” Anonymous

“Don’t mention a person’s past mistakes when trying to change. That’s like throwing rocks at them while they are struggling to climb a mountain.” Anonymous

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” Oscar Wilde

22

Growth Mindset Sees the World

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As I have written several times, developing a growth mindset in life seems desirable. Simply because whatever you want to achieve or add to life is there for the taking once you set your mind. You have to be willing to work for it and build improvement.  More than just the accomplishment results, it leads to an enjoyment of life that you can experience doing even the simplest of tasks.

The fixed mindset sees a world of the can or can’t but no development and doesn’t dare to place itself on the line of looking “foolish.”  Rather than accepting that life is a learning process full of different things, like a school that never has graduation.  Just when you think you have it figured out, the curriculum changes.  Creating a growth mindset allows that change and gives you the tools to enjoy the experience.

Learning Is Power

People who go into something they have never done and feel foolish for making mistakes operate from a fixed mindset.  If you develop a growth mindset, you will never feel stupid when learning something new. You will jump into the process with both feet and see what you can do with this new knowledge. It isn’t just the learning. And it’s the process of learning that is fun and exciting and allows you to move your mind, body, and spirit into new experiences.

Learning as an opportunity for growth rather than the answers on some tests will become an enjoyable experience that you seek. Some with a fixed mindset see their learning experience ending when they are done with organized school. That is usually in the early ’20s. Those who stop learning at that point are in for a harsh awakening later in life.  Learning is a lifelong process, providing pose in living and givegivesle an opportunity for continual adventure and growth. It keeps things interesting and makes this ride an enjoyable experience.

The Disease of Perfection

Perfection is a word that many people think of, which destroys people’s enjoyment in almost any experience.  People create an unrealistic expectation of perfection about their jobs, families, or life experience, and they will miss out on the joy life has for them.  It is not the finished products in life that provide joy; it is the steps along the way.  Find joy in these moments, and perfection doesn’t matter.  What is perfection but worrying about how something looks to someone else?  We are never what other people think of us.  We are a collection of our experiences, and ignoring these real things for an idea that never exists seems to be the definition of insanity.

Vince Lombardi, the legendary football coach, once said, “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.”  I think that is true, but the goal should always be excellence in attitude, behavior, and how we treat others. On the way to greatness is the chase, which you need to learn to enjoy. It is always there in the small moments of life, which are never perfect but have kindness, joy, empathy, romance, adventure, strength, and any other positive you can imagine.  Avoid the disease of perfection, which will take away the enjoyment of your life and replace it with disappointment.  Disappointed is a hard way to live your life.

See Setbacks as What They Are

Many people see a setback in their life and feel it is a personal judgment against them. They find it difficult to move past hard things. You lose a job or a relationship, and things don’t work out as you hoped. All of this can put you in a negative mindset. But the growth mindset knows that the current score is not the final score, and there is a lot more game left to go.  Bad things hurt, and nobody wants to suffer, but suffering has a place in life. It provides motivation.  Look at your situation as a step in the journey, not the destination.

You can never say what the result of any circumstance will be in the long term. Too often, our shortsighted fears stop us from accepting a painful thing as needed to reach a new height. Some people spend so much time focused on the moment’s pain and the fear of what might come next that they never recover to live their life.  Setbacks are as helpful as successes, and sometimes more, and they show where our weaknesses lie and teach us valuable information. The growth mindset knows that a failure today can be a final success in the future because the lessons learned and the knowledge gained is just what you need to improve and experience success.

Look at your thoughts and your reaction to things today and decide if you are operating from a growth mindset or not. Don’t let setbacks throw you, don’t fall into the trap of perfection, and learning is a great experience, always!!

“Every success story is a tale of constant adaptation, revision, and change.” —Richard Branson

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” —Abraham Maslow

“The great solution to all human problems is individual inner transformation.” —Vernon Howard

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t living.” —Gail Sheehy  

“The way must be in you; the destination also must be in you and not somewhere else in space or time. If that kind of self-transformation is being realized in you, you will arrive.” —Nhat Hanh

22

Learning is a Life Skill

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Learn-gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in (something) by study, experience, or being taught

LearnDay to day, we strive for enjoyment and understanding. No matter our age, we must focus on what we can learn to make our life a better, more enjoyable experience.  People are too often satisfied with their knowledge base and never think there is anything else they could or would ever want to learn.  This is a limiting mindset in all areas of life, personal and professional.  You will never know it all, but you can always try to learn it all.  Each day is a possibility to learn something new.  Focus your consciousness on what you can learn today in your thoughts, words, and actions. There is always something for you to pick up or try.  So don’t be too limited in what you do. Gain or acquire knowledge or skills today, and make your life more enjoyable and productive.

Being Self-taught

The greatest invention in history is the internet because of the vast and nearly unlimited amount of information available to every person.  If you desire to learn, you can create a curriculum to study.  Learning styles don’t even matter because there are several mediums available. There are videos available on how to do just about anything you can imagine. Teaching yourself how to do almost anything will take the desire to do it and the willingness to do a little research.

Knowledge has never been so accessible, and the freedom that comes with those facts can lead you to a new job or a new life. All of the excuses we tell ourselves are irrelevant because there is access to quality content at the touch of a finger.  Study, and you will learn.  It is up to you if you use the internet to feed your mind or deaden its senses.

Learn from Experience

One of the best ways to learn is through experience.  We can’t help but find growth this way. Unfortunately, the experience is not a very kind teacher and has no regard for your feelings and temperament.  Many lessons you will learn from experience will be painful, uncomfortable, and trying to the soul. Many are not good students and need to get the same lesson over and over again until they finally gain an understanding of what they need to know.

However, the benefits of experience are free to everyone equally and when we learn well, navigating our way through life is more manageable, and we are better at making choices and finding the things that are good for us and all others. Experience is not personal; there is no punishment for its pupils. (Although it may feel painful.)  It is the greatest equal opportunity experience creator you will ever come across.  It is up to our awareness, wits, intelligence, and needs how difficult the lessons experience gives us.  Appreciate your experience of what you can learn and be a good student. You will continually get the same lesson until you learn the lesson you need to learn.  If you are experiencing the same thing repeatedly, look at your attitude and thoughts.

The Power of Being Taught

There are kind-hearted and caring teachers out there as well. These souls genuinely want to help you improve at whatever skill they possess and want to share.  An apprenticeship of life can provide value to you that is beyond measure.  Unlike experience or self-study, you can learn delve into the already hard-earned gained knowledge someone else has earned.  By paying attention and learning, you can avoid making the same mistakes or “reinventing the wheel” and move on from the point your teacher has reached.

What you do with this head start is then up to you. Are you satisfied with being at the same level?  Or do you want to take that ship of knowledge and sail it into the open sea to find out what it can do? That is the real challenge with anything you learn. How will you use it?  If you can find a capable person willing to share their knowledge.  Grab ahold of that blessing.  Sometimes we can’t do it all by ourselves. Life will provide the teachers you need. Recognize them and learn.

Each day is born with potential. What you do with that is up to you.  Putting your focus on what you can learn will allow you to have an exciting and continually expanding life.  Let all the teachers of study, experience, and other teachers help you along the way to learn at the highest level you are capable of.  Focus your thoughts, words, and actions on the things you can learn, and your life will be a richer experience for all.

“Change is the end result of all true learning.” Leo Buscaglia

“The expert in anything was once a beginner.” Anonymous

“Learning and innovation go hand in hand. The arrogance of success is to think that what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow.” William Pollard

“Learning is the only thing the mind never exhausts, never fears, and never regrets.” Leonardo da Vinci

“Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.” Chinese Proverb

https://youtu.be/fOVECbr-vsc

 

22

The Natural Path of Life

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How well do you react to change? If you are like most people, the answer is not very well. All of us seem to have a natural resistance to anything being different. We continually cling to old ways, even when they have become outdated and inefficient. We adhere to careers we no longer like or living situations that make us unhappy because there is a healthy level of fear about doing something different.

But if you never try anything other than what you already do, you never evolve, and your ideas, thoughts, and emotions never become original. The growth we experience is the natural path of our lives, and all we need is to muster up a little courage to accept the changes happening all around us all the time.

Resistance

There is a natural resistance that exists in people to fight change. It is there personally as people cling to routines and avoid growing on an individual basis. Resistance also exists on a larger scale, as only well-tried and accurate methods of doing things will be accepted, and all other ideas are dismissed or even attacked. Not because they are wrong, but because they are different. All of the social upheavals in the 20th Century provided excellent examples of this. The Civil Rights movement seems like a common sense thing today. Of course, all people are equal.

But fear developed over the years and made people resist messing with the conventional way and societal expectations.

Of course, today, I would like to think that our society has solved the problem, but racial divides seem to permeate all of our community still, and at their roots are people who are resistant to change and unwilling to grow. There will be moments of resistance to change in our lives, even though change is a constant and inevitable experience.

The consciousness of your thoughts is the answer to defeating resistance. We see our beliefs as to what they are and where they guide us. The voice of your ego resists change. The ego exists and grows in the background of your unconscious mind. Its main objective is survival. So when you are in a safe situation, your ego will generate thoughts to keep you there. You would never change or grow. No matter what fantasies your ego creates, life will find a way of making change happen.

Allowing and Acceptance of  Change

There are two ways to deal with life; you can fight or flow with it. Resistance and fighting come when we think we have all the answers. Flow happens when we realize that there will be continual adjustments and changes to the experience and allow them to happen and accept them as they are. All things, our lives, careers, and relationships have a shelf life, and that is just a fact. Like life itself, all items will not last forever. It is in this scarcity that provides the value a thing possesses. Each moment in a situation should be cherished and enjoyed. Allow the lessons and the joy of the moment to seep into your consciousness and teach you precisely what it is supposed to.

Some changes will be painful, and there is a lesson in the pain. To lose something valuable to you is an experience that will allow you to become more selfish or open up and share more of yourself. Accept what happened, take responsibility for where you are, and move forward with an open heart and clear mind. Your journey isn’t over, and many great things are still to come. It is a life skill to learn to allow things to change because it will happen whether you like it or not. To accept and recognize is the action of the soul. To resist and fight is the ego.

“Transformation is not five minutes from now; it’s a present activity. At this moment, you can make a different choice, and these small choices and successes build up over time to help cultivate a healthy self-image and self-esteem.” —Jillian Michaels.

“Transformation means going beyond your form.” —said Wayne Dyer.

The only way to make sense of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.

 

22

Learning Every Day

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a138890e4646fecda59789f343ebc053Each of us has the opportunity each day to learn something. The only thing stopping us from learning information that will expand our minds, building our potential, and developing a greater understanding of the world and ourselves is a decision not to know.

Knowledge is the great equalizer for all people, and the choice to not pursue it will make you a smaller person and limit what you can do.

Growth Comes From Learning

knowledge 2Nobody was born knowing anything. Circumstances and opportunities have allowed some to learn things quicker and more comfortably. Still, there is no limit on most healthy people that stops them from gaining insight and knowledge other than themselves. Each day is an opportunity to learn something, and it would seem difficult to near impossible to prevent yourself from gaining experience. Still, our society does a good job of ensuring that learning is kept to a minimum.

This is done through a constant stream of disrupting and interrupting distractions in almost every way conceivable. Phones, social media, television, and streaming all combine to keep people from learning and using their minds to think and grow productively. Anger, fear, and hatred in any capacity also work to keep a person from becoming the best version of themselves.

Get Focused, and Nothing Can Stop You

knowledge 3Distraction is one of the best tools to deny a person from learning something new. We are bombarded with distractions throughout the day. From mindless entertainment on the television, computer screen, or tablet, we can be distracted from taking the time to learn something new. These continual interruptions and distractions keep our minds occupied with flashing lights and away from the actual thought process. Imagine what you could achieve if you took just a fraction of the time spent pursuing these activities and devoted it to learning something.

It has to be a problem with our educational system as well. Learning should be the most fascinating and wonderful thing a person experiences, yet most, when completing their schooling, are left wanting to stay far away from the learning process. This seems backward to me. How can we go to places of higher learning and not like to learn more about everything?

Knowledge is Key

The phrase “knowledge is the key” is probably overused or used so much that it has lost its meaning. It is the truth. The only limits to what you can achieve, socially, physically, spiritually, or in any other realm, are dictated by how much you know.

Acquiring new knowledge has never been easier. There is no topic that you can’t learn a lot about just using the internet. There has never been a more wide-open availability of information. You don’t need to go to college to find the answers you seek, and you need a device with an internet connection and a desire to know more. Anyone can become an expert in anything by merely devoting time toward what interests you.

Take some time for yourself today, whenever you can, and dedicate your mind to learning something new: a new insight, a new problem to solve, a modern philosophy of life. Time spent learning is the most precious time in life. You are learning because you want to, not because you have to or because it will bring you success or wealth. This education is the purest form of knowledge, and the determining factor of success or failure lies in your attitude toward learning.

“Ignorance is God’s prison. Knowing is God’s palace.”

Whatever you do and want to learn, don’t stop believing that you can accomplish great things!

 

 

22

Lifetime Learning

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Learn-gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in (something) by study, experience, or being taught.

One of the most powerful gifts we can have as human beings are the ability to learn. This strength is a process that we should continue to nurture throughout our lives because of the benefits the process provides the individuals experiencing it.  You are never too old or too wise to learn something new.  Make new things you’re learning today part of your consciousness in thought, word, and action.  This plan is for the special people to mark the completion of learning something new. I congratulate them and encourage them to keep on learning as much as possible throughout their life experience.

Reading is Fundamental

I learned to read before I went to school. My mother taught me by reading to Learnme every night, and I saw the magic in the pages of a book, and I took it upon myself from there to get the words right and understand their meaning. Reading was magical and essential.  More so now, to me, than ever before. You can learn about anything you want to know simply by accessing the information and reading it.  All information is available at the click of a button.  In a book or reliable website, almost any information can be collected and enhance your life.

To read is a process of taking words and adding animation and imagination to them. It can take you anywhere and allow you an experience almost anything.  With the simple use of your vision and the images you see when words enter your brain.  Reading gives everyone an equal chance to achieve.  Everything from the secrets of gardening to quantum physics is available for the curious to learn. Trust that reading is fundamental to the ability to learn.

Learning is Healthy

Learning is suitable for your mind, body, and spirit. There is confidence in knowing that you can learn about anything that interests you.  LearnTo learn is to grow, and to grow makes you better at life. If something stops growing, it stagnates, which is as accurate in people as in nature.  The difference is that people choose to learn or not, and you have an option to know or not.

Look at the times you felt most alive and experienced the most incredible sense of wonder. It is often when you learn something new, and your mind is expanded by previously unknown information. Those who have a passion for learning are nearly unstoppable. Again there is confidence in the ability to learn. We should encourage all people of any age.

Learn and Grow

Looking at our society today, I don’t think we are interested in growing the economy rather than growing individuals. The collective consciousness seems to be set on consumerism and selfishness rather than creating truly educated people. Our educational system is designed to produce workers and consumers but not learners.  The goal is to provide skills that will allow a person to make a living, which is great until you learn that living is not a life. You can have both with the right encouragement.

Therefore, it falls on the person to be responsible for their learning and development. It is quite a minefield to navigate too.  One has to overcome the continual distractions of entertainment and noise we face every day, all the time. It can seem like there is precious little time to focus on learning new things.  Make the time. The quality of the life you build is your responsibility. Nothing can stop you but you.

Learn Something Every Day

This talent should not be a difficult task, there is a world of knowledge, and nobody knows everything. Pick a topic or activity you are interested in and learn something about it. Put it into practice in your life and see what happens. When you are conscious of your thoughts, words, and actions toward learning, what you want to learn will come to you.  What is it you want to learn today?

Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow. ~Anthony J. D’Angelo

 “PERFECT IS THE ENEMY OF GOOD.” –VOLTAIRE

 “I’M STILL LEARNING.” –MICHELANGELO

“LIFE IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION.” –RALPH WALDO EMERSON

“LEARNING IS NOT ATTAINED BY CHANCE; IT MUST BE SOUGHT FOR WITH ARDOR AND ATTENDED TO WITH DILIGENCE.” ―ABIGAIL ADAMS

“YESTERDAY I WAS CLEVER, SO I CHANGED THE WORLD. TODAY I AM WISE, SO I AM CHANGING MYSELF.” –RUMI

 

 

22

Don’t Care What You Think

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caring-what-others-think-2One of the most common blocks people face in accomplishing their goals is worrying about what others think of your choices, behaviors, or talents. How often have you stopped doing something because you didn’t want to look foolish or be ridiculed by someone else?

This is a limiting thought that can be easily changed if you start to focus on what you are doing and forget what others might be thinking about it. You will enjoy life a whole lot more and find success as well. There are several simple reasons that this is true.

Most Don’t Think Of You Anyway.

The criticism we imagine is mainly located solely in our imaginations. People are too involved in their drama of life to pay attention to your decisions for the most part. Want to start a business? Do it and if someone confronts you with questions, tell them you appreciate their point of view and 93b9bf6a5497b9a255bd83a522d3bd78move on with your plan.

We come by this fear naturally. As young people, we find that learning to fit in with the crowd’s expectations makes sense. We don’t get picked on, and life is much more comfortable. But there is a point where successful people put fear aside and worry about how they feel and what they are doing rather than the often misguided judgments of others. I know that it is the fear of what someone might think that has stopped me. Not even the honest thoughts of a person but my thoughts about what I thought they might be. It seems silly to carry fear for someone else’s feelings.

A Reflection on Them

dont-worry-dr-seussIf they are thinking something negative about you, there is a problem with them, not a problem with you. So many people are stuck in their choices that they see their limitations when they see someone trying something different or reaching for success. This is not a pretty sight, so many critics will shoot you down to avoid looking at their failure. If everyone is mired in mediocrity, they won’t feel bad about their inability to pursue their dream.

Anyone who criticizes someone else for seeking to improve themselves in any way is showing their own limiting beliefs. All people choose what they stand for, and being a limiting influence on anyone is letting fear dictate your behavior. What if you fail? What if they fail? What if they look funny? What if…….. These words can haunt an empty life. So what if you fail? You will learn, and learning those lessons may be the missing piece you need to achieve your dreams.

Don’t Play Small

The moral here is not to play the small game that suits you. How do I know? There is something in ALT_8.16.13you that is great and waiting to come out and contribute to the world. The lessons that you will learn along the way will help steer you toward your best self. Honestly, do you think you were put here on this Earth not to succeed? Of course, you were made for success, and letting what someone else might think stop you from doing what you want is playing at your most minor. Play the big game that you were meant to represent.

The world is full of critics who are generally unhappy people who have decided not to find their purpose. The internet is a whole of negative people who seek out the creative work of others only to write negative comments about it and diminish them. These people should get all the attention they deserve, none at all. Ignore the naysayers and feel sorry for them. They are stuck playing a game of ego and separation. They need your kindness more than anyone else.

“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.” ― Virginia Woolf

“You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing.” ― Richard P. Feynman

“Care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner.”—Lao Tzu

“I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.” ― Michel de Montaigne

 

21

Lessons of Pain

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Few teachers in my life haveledarning is a gift gotten my attention and held on to it quite like pain. When you are in pain, there is no escaping the message. Pain is a neurological phenomenon that is vital to let us know something is wrong. It could be physically bad or mentally wrong, but either way, pain lets you know that something must change. Without exception, the pain ahas changed me with each visit it has made to my life.

Pain is Temporary; Learning is Forever

Rarely is the anxiety a permanent condition; more often than not, it is a temporary warning sign that something is not quite right. There may be some cases where arrow painchronic pain persists; fortunately, I have never experienced this. Physical pain exists when you hurt your body somehow, and although unpleasant, we can heal it with time, therapy, and treatment. The presence of physical pain has caused you to change your outlook on life and your daily physical activities. This is true of a broken bone or a heart attack. The pain will change you permanently and force you to look for solutions to end it as quickly as possible forever.

Emotional or spiritual pain is something else. It is caused by the experiences we have and how they are registered in the mind. All people have felt heartbreak to some degree or another. It is a mental condition
that causes pain inside your emotional heart. This pain is calling out to be dealt with, but often it is too intense to handle appropriately. Many try to medicate themselves through drugs and alcohol, but when the effect wears off, the pain is still there, seeking to be dealt with in a loving and caring manner. The scars that we leave behind are often major signposts in our lives and dictate our future experiences.

It becomes the fear of the pain, even more than the pain, that dictates our actions to self-medicate or behave poorly to others. Hiding from the pain or preemptively eliminating the opportunity for the pain to affect us. Once fear is faced, it will lose its power over us.

This type of pain has, at times, led to many defining moments in my life. From overcoming monumental losses of love. To appreciate the caring and kindness that others display in their dealings with people. If life went along without pain as a teacher, many experiences wouldn’t carry the message.

The value of relationships might be to understand when they are right and to appreciate those moments. We are not guaranteed anything in life, only the moment we are currently experiencing. Pain allows us to live in this moment and focus on the experience we are in right now. Understanding that it will pass and that you have just taken a vital, although painful step, down the road to wisdom, understanding, and, of course, growth.

buddha-quotes-about-life-buddha-quotes-quotes-pictures-quotes-pictures-updated-daily-34593tumblr_mm72n2XIkL1s9u3jeo1_500Sometimes pain can seem like a friend to some. It allows them to know that they are still alive and can feel. If the loss of any relationship is bothering you, pain can always be the sure connection to the one who has been lost.

I have carried the pain further than I had to to keep the connection. In the end, though, the pain taught its lesson and moved on. I had learned, changed, and in most cases, grown as an individual with a capacity to love more for going through it. Although, as I would also tell you, I wouldn’t recommend the entire experience to anyone. Although pain is a proficient educator, the methodology leaves a lot to be desired.

“Sit with the pain until it passes, and you will be calmer for the next one.”   Naval Ravikant

“Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.”-   Fight Club

“Adversity is the first path to truth.”-  Lord Byron

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.” –  Sophocles

21

My Education

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Education is the process of receiving or giving systematic instruction, especially at a school or university, an enlightening experience.

It is the goal of most people to get an excellent education to reap the highest financial benefit for them during their life. Getting an education is powerful because the more you learn, the more powerful you are in life, and the more you can contribute back to the world. There is a problem with the education one receives today. Although well-meaning, the experience seems useful for those gifted at playing the games of expectation our system puts upon them. But for the majority, education is a minefield of strange expectations and demanding requirements with very little real-world application. It is easy to blame the system; each of us is responsible for the education we get out of life. But that doesn’t have to be the case. When we treat each person like they have potential, all people will rise to that level. Every day is a chance to enhance or diminish it. Start by being conscious of you your thoughts about learning, the emotions those thoughts stir up, the words you use, and the action you take because of those thoughts. That is a rise in consciousness.

All People Have Ability

There are two mindsets in education. One is that each student is either intelligent or not, so they design everything to make intelligent people thrive. The other is the belief that all students have talent and ability and, with the right motivation, and support can achieve anything they want. The keywords are the last three, “anything they want.” This attitude is where the inspiration comes from. That desire comes from becoming more conscious about what you want to learn in life and what you want to do.

There are many online colleges now that have streamlined the system for taking college classes and earning degrees. All of these programs have some merit because increasing your base of knowledge is a good thing. But you don’t need to go into debt to gain the most experience. Desire and read a book to do it. Or start doing the thing you want to do. All people can run their education and should. I know a degree can be a sign of accomplishment and mastery of a subject. But my point is all people can learn, and they can start right now this minute.

The Education Process

I think it is essential to look at education as a process and not simply an accomplishment. The method of education starts when you are born and won’t end until you die. It begins with learning the basics of how to best fit into the social situation that we are born into, but eventually, we want to know more. Start with an interest and follow it to see where it leads you. Learn to learn at every opportunity that life gives you. There is no shortage of information.

Once you start to learn independently and develop a love for figuring things out, your mind grows. It will never shrink again unless affected by a disease. The more knowledge you accumulate, the more you want to add. It doesn’t matter how old you are, where you live, or how much money you have. You are capable of learning anything you want unless you are functioning under some limiting belief.

Limiting Beliefs and Education

If you are thinking negative things about yourself, then they will diminish the knowledge you can attain. Our beliefs develop throughout our development. Whatever opinion or thought of your teachers, peers, family, or society in general that resonated with you will lead to a belief in our subconscious. If you were told and believe you will never be any good at math, guess what? You will probably never be good at math. It is the same for everything. These opinions and thoughts that we adopt for whatever reason control our ability to achieve and learn.

The great thing is that we can remove all of these limits with a bit of work and conscious thought. Stereotypes about the abilities of any group of people are incredibly damaging in this way. They don’t have to be, the individual is the driver of their education curriculum, and nobody can stop them. Decide you want to learn, avoid distractions, and get to it.

Real Education

It doesn’t even take reading a book or taking a class to participate in education. It can be happening all around you in situations you face every day. It would help if you were open to expanding your knowledge base to grow and experience an enlightening moment. Be aware of your thoughts about the way people do things that is different from you. Learn about it, grow as a person, and accept that education happens every day. Look at your thoughts about people and things and pay attention to those trying to educate you. Then gage the feelings you have about the ideas and the actions and words that come to you because of that. Education is an experience, not a destination or possession.

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.”- Albert Einstein.

“Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.”- Malcolm X.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”- Nelson Mandela.

 

21

Begin

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beginningBeginnings can be challenging. You aren’t yet privy to all of the nuances that make a job or task work with as little resistance as possible. This experience is true of a new home, a new job, a new relationship, any time you are beginning anything at all! It is true with life. Beginnings are both terrifying and exhilarating, like climbing a mountain. As you take your first tentative steps, it might seem impossible, but with persistence, you can reach any summit.

Most people don’t have someone who can guide them or fill them in on what to expect in this adventure called life. As you go through its stages, there are many experiences you will have to deal with to feel normal. Some tests seem pointless at the moment, but the value is only revealed to you years later. There are many things to learn in life, and one of the most important is who you exactly are. That is the real new beginning. To realize you have a chance to learn everything.

Beginning of Your Education

constant educatonAs you may have figured out, the beginning of your education did not start when you entered kindergarten, and it didn’t end when you graduated from high school, college, grad school, etc. The rudiments of academics were a tool to reward, develop, and learn how to learn. But the joke was on us. The real lessons were not the subjects but the space surrounding them. The people, relationships, and thoughts you were exposed to along the way. These tests are the ones we continue to be faced with throughout our journey.

Life is a consistent educational experience that teaches its lessons with the cold and hard slap of trial and error. We try, we fail, we learn, we plan, we try again. Continually it goes on, and those that are lucky learn quickly, and those who don’t may lag, and the lag can be pretty painful. The great thing is that as long as you are alive, you will always have a chance to catch on and make up for the lost time. Learning is an equal opportunity activity available for any fertile mind. Allow yours to grasp it—no matter what age, you can still learn every day.

Beginning to Accept Ourselves

weaknessGoing along with school and learning, you will find out early and often that a consistent theme in life is making mistakes. How we view mistakes is going to determine what type of learners we are. We can allow them to define us, or see them for what they are, valuable learning experiences. Too many people fear mistakes as a personal indictment of their character and talent. All an error is, especially in an academic setting, is a chance to learn. Learn and reach goals, achieve accomplishments, grow your mind, and experience.

Mistakes are often hard masters that sear their lessons into your existence. It doesn’t take too many hearts wrenching; face slaps of reality to know that some mistakes don’t need to be made more than once. Life will continually flog you with the same mistakes if you are a slow learner until you finally get the lesson. Don’t worry about developing perfection because you will continue to make mistakes your entire life. Not letting yourself be beaten up by mistakes because of someone else’s perception of you, schedule of being, or becoming just plain miserable is the trick to enjoying life. Stand up, dust yourself off, and begin again.

Your Authentic Self

Ecstasy is simply awareness of your authentic selfEvery person is born with authentic talent or skill that belongs exclusively to them. Life appears to be a process where original you are continually covered up and often forgotten by everyone, including you. There are many ways in which this happens; outside of us, people say your authentic self isn’t good enough, is silly, unrealistic, or doesn’t fit into what is acceptable in society. “That’s nice, but you can’t make a living at it.”

The other is on the inside. As we make mistakes and fall short, we let them discourage us and attack our self-esteem. When mistakes happen, we pine away for better decisions in the past rather than learn the lesson and move on. Our authentic selves get buried underneath the harsh evaluation of “I should have done that,” or “I could have done this,” or “I would have gone there.” We pile on the blame to ourselves, and soon we only see our limitations, expecting to fall short. We are less than what we should be. Your authentic self is a talented, unique, and fantastic person. Don’t let the fear of a mistake rob you of giving your gift to the world. Whatever it may be. It is time to begin again and climb that mountain.

You Alone Can Do It

jordan qupteThe good news is that another beginning comes to most people; it is the beginning of searching for that authentic self. It may start as a gentle nudge in your soul; you may feel like things aren’t quite right. Or it may be jarred loose by a tragic event—the idea of who the violent rock slide of events suddenly uncovers you. The death of someone you cared about, the sudden and unexplained ending of a relationship, or the sudden loss of a job can force you to reevaluate where your mental state is. Is this all there is? Maybe a question you start to ask yourself in private.

I have learned that there is no one path to reach this authenticity, no one process, but many avenues that can direct different individuals to their authentic selves. Some know what their true self is all about; others have to keep searching through the rubble of regret and self-criticism until the truth is discovered like gold amid so much dirt and debris. And then begin again and start to climb that mountain all over again.

Yes, it can and will be found. We seem to spend the first half of our lives hiding this treasure, and the second half is spent trying to get back to this unique inner talent and strength that you have. You can only take this journey, some will help you along the way, but in the end, it has to be you that accepts you, your talent, and your responsibility. Then one step at a time, it is time to begin again.

“The closer you stay to emotional authenticity and people, character authenticity, the less you can go wrong. That’s how I feel now, no matter what you’re doing.” – David O. Russell

“There is a certain kind of respect for authenticity today that there wasn’t back in the days when they did ‘Cleopatra,’ where everything looked like a giant motel. People want to have it be authentic in the look and trustworthy in the way people behave.” – John Milius

“Just be what you are and speak from your guts and heart – it’s all a man has.” – Hubert Humphrey

“Hard times arouse an instinctive desire for authenticity.” – Coco Chanel

“We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.” – Barbara de Angelis

“No one man can, for any considerable time, wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which is the true one.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne