Tag Archives: lessons

22

Time To Rise

Leave a comment

Are You Ready To Rise?

For a long time, I believed that if you created a graph of the activity and thought a person experienced in their life, it would inevitably have a wide variety of points. There would be big moments where you shared your best, and of course, the predictable low moments where tragedy and disappointment visited a life. Between the highs and lows are the steady moments of life that make up most of our experiences. We can’t fear the low moments because they lead to the most significant personal growth. I can look at my life and plot the points of success, failure, satisfaction, fun, contentment, anger, hatred, and love. My experience provides a virtual rise and fall of personal accomplishment and fear. But where they fall on my chart is based on my own beliefs. The events of my life generally have neutral except for the value I assigned to them. I decided what was “good” and what was “bad” and reacted as such. Was I lost or just plain wrong? Looking at the events of falling in love, graduating from college, getting that job, and accomplishing that goal, along with everything else that I viewed as a positive, represented positive growth. While their corresponding low points represent every failure, loss of love, job change, unfulfilled dream, and damage suffered the opportunities I have had for growth. I thought you could never have a high without a low. Was I right, or can we all rise at this moment and become the best version of ourselves today?

I was Wrong

As I look at my life, I realize that I have been plotting things all wrong.     Each of my experiences is not meant to be judged as good or bad and then charted to riaing upsignify my advancement toward happiness. Each experience was given to me to help me learn a lesson that I needed to know. Either I will master the task and move forward to accept new teaching.   Or perhaps if the experience isn’t acquired, the lesson will continually be presented until I finally get a clue and learn what I need to know.

That realization is powerful, although I don’t like to have “bad” things happen to me because that experience is not great fun at the moment. The momentum and direction a challenging experience gives you can be the same push you need to become something you always dreamed you could be.

So charting your life through highs and lows is merely adding our perceptions of things into your experience. Nothing is inherently good or bad unless we believe them to be so. A more accurate chart would be a straight line that continually moves upward to a fuller development as a human being.

Finding your Gift

I believe that we are all born with a gift that is unique to us, and that gift is the the-meaning-of-life-is-to-find-your-gift-pablo-picassothing that makes us happy. Often throughout life, that gift is forgotten due to the conditioning that society, our peers, families, and the educational system provide us with incomplete information designed to make us forget who we are.

People are encouraged to fit in and excel in the acceptance of someone else’s ideas. Our educational system gives out Kudos for being a properly trained individual. It seems like avoidance of creative thinking is all that concerns most people. Individuals become docile, accepting sheep who devour all of the provided fodder, and falling in line will bring reward. Think outside the expectations, and you will have a significant problem.

To find the unique gift, you must overcome this conditioning and realize that you are a great human soul with unlimited potential. A fact that is not debatable, and what is up for discussion, is how you use that gift.

Rising

So as you move through life and experiences come your way, remember that each moment comes to help you overcome the narrow-minded conditioning of life and remind you what your natural talent is.

You are learning not to label these experiences as either good or bad and accept them as things happening right now. Some lessons are inherently more pleasant than others, but all experiences have value. It is often difficult to see the value of the forest when you are lost amongst the trees.

Remember that no matter what stage of your life you are in, the graph does not fluctuate wildly, up and down, depending on experiences. That would give you seasickness or whiplash. Your chart always moves in a continually upward direction, moving you closer to your true self and unique talent.   It may level off as you stop searching or get lost, but it will never go down, just as your chronological age will never go backward. Your identity will continually climb.

When you are ready to recognize your talent, you will see that you have been and continually are rising all the time.

“You decide how high you rise in life. Nobody can stop you but you.”

“Never let the fear of falling stop you from rising to your highest potential. Fear is just a thought.” 

“Falling is a part of life; we all fall. It’s getting up every time that makes you a legend.”

“In all situations, you dictate the meaning for you. You decide if it builds you or breaks you. No person can ask for more power than that.”

 

22

Put The Past Behind You

Leave a comment

Life is a strange play. We move through many of our days, never thinking things could be any different. But things are always in a constant state of flux, for the one constant we experience on a minute-to-minute basis is change. It washes over our lives in inevitable portions, perhaps not wanted, but it still comes anyway. When things are not so pleasant, there is hope that changes will bring relief from what you are experiencing today. When things are going well, we hide from change because it will ruin all of our current conquests and the kingdoms we have built.

For me, the last year was an experience in the latter. Things changed for the worse as people I relied on left my life seemingly complete proportions. There was nothing I could do, and I have spent the past months trying to pick up the pieces that used to be me and see where they fit. The feeling of significant loss is a form of suffering, and I can be aware that I had built too many attachments to the way things were. Perhaps too much trust too soon in some people. I have spent too much time looking at the past and wishing things would magically snap back to where they were a year ago. But that hope is holding me back from moving forward into whatever the following stages of my life will bring, which can be equally good if you allow them to happen. Loss is still something you need to grieve, which I have been doing lately.

Shutting Doors

When you look at all the cycles in your life, it can be challenging to find the courage within yourself to shut the door at that time in your life. Even if it was painful, disappointing, or negative, there are positive things about people and experiences you might not want to let go of. So you leave the door open just a sliver looking for the memory of that good thing to open the door and walk back into your life. But it will not and the focus you spend looking toward that door, hoping, is not paying attention to the other entries you may be able to open, behind which great things lie.

Who knows what will be hiding behind the next door that opens. It could be great; it could be just ok. Life doesn’t often allow us to choose, and we can only decide our reactions to and actions once they are open. The only thing you can be sure of is that doors will continue to open for you as long as you are alive and functioning. To End, a chapter of your life on your terms can be next to impossible, but how you accept an ending is always up to you. To fight against it is the greatest form of suffering—resistance to the reality of your life.

Be The Force of Change

Each moment presents us with choices, to do what we always have, to believe as we have always believed, or to make a conscious decision to start to think about something else different from the past. In my experience, life provides us with cycles of life that serve to offer us lessons about how to live but, more importantly, about who we are. You can be proactive in your choices of dealing with change by deciding exactly how the end of your chapters will play out for you.

If you seek out the things that need to change and then take positive steps in the direction you want, you initiate the change in your life and create the action. In this way, you are being the hammer of change and involved in just what new things enter and old things end. My experience is that life will reward this type of situation with answers, knowledge, and clarity about your vision of where you can go and the joy you can experience. The hardest part of initiating change is the fear that it won’t work out. But it always does, in its inevitable conclusion. Life will work out if you let it and are willing to accept what comes your way. Only through acceptance can you thoroughly move forward.

Leave the Past

The bottom line in life is that you have to leave the past behind you and live in the present as best you can to make the future the best possible. The people who seem to live best are the ones who can recognize an ending, take a bow, let the audience applaud, and allow the curtain to close. Then take the makeup off, remove their costume and leave the theatre, moving into the next play of their life.

To continually relive old plays is a trap of mediocrity. Each stage we perform in life provides a purpose, and you should never forget the lessons, but do not try to live there. It will only stop you from moving forward. Leave your life moments that have finished where they are and move forward into a great new day. These are easy thoughts to think about but much more difficult in actions taken. Our minds connect to people and things. It is hard to let them go because it is painful when seemingly tangible things turn to dust and leave us. We need to be able to understand why. With the seeming hope, we can avoid painful losses in the future. Perhaps we can make the pain less, but I think pain comes with a purpose and the lessons we learn through it are lasting and valuable as long as you don’t let them make you bitter. Allow them to make you better!!!

“The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”  Steve Maraboli

“Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.”–  Shannon L. Alder.

“If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go the past that drags you down.”   Amit Ray

“In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.”  –Deepak Chopra

 

22

Have Faith and Move On

Leave a comment

What Appears to Be the End is Only a New Beginning

It is hard to let go of things that have ended, one of the most difficult lessons you can learn is all things have a shelf life, and when it is time to what appears to be the end may only be a new beginningmove on, you need to be able to do this with faith. Understanding what you are moving toward is a piece of the puzzle you will need to achieve dreams and have positive things happen for you.

Relationships end, jobs are lost, people relocate, loss occurs, and even though there will be a natural pain coming with these experiences, it is a normal part of the grieving process. It isn’t easy, but it is part of being human.

Many people, including myself, have had issues moving on when a loss occurs. Even though it is obvious the time is ripe for change, new and exciting things are on the horizon. It is human nature to look back at the idealized safety we created in the past instead of moving with courage into a future, allowing you to chase and realize all of your dreams.

Moving led to new beginnings

Moving can be a traumatic experience for anyone, especially when you are a kid. I moved when I was 1, and at the time, I thought it was the biggest tragedy a person could experience. I had a great group of friends I had known all my life, and I knew where I fit in. I was comfortable and happy. Moving was traumatic. I had to deal with people who didn’t know me, and

beautiful reflection
Let Go And Begin Anew

might not like me. There was a lot of initial trauma, and I spent a lot of time worrying about what I was missing out on in life. Still, eventually, as I pushed through the new situation, I made some new friends and had experiences that I would never have had, both positive and negative, that led to growth.

Left to my own choices, I would have taken the most accessible road and missed some great things I have found. Everything in my life has led to growth, allowing me to evolve, and I learned valuable lessons. There was a lot of Idealizing of the past, but there is no way you can argue with your current reality.

Death and Dying

Experiencing a loss of a loved one is difficult to deal with, and nobody would ever characterize it as a good thing. Still, it’s my experience that you can gain something positive from this experience. Perhaps a better appreciation of the relationships you still have in your life or a greater awareness of the world around you. If you think of those who have passed with love, they are always with you. If they are inside your heart, mind, and spirit, a part of them is still alive.

Maybe the lessons that the loved one passed on left with you are lasting things. For myself, everyone whom I have lost has left a positive impact on my life. I am eternally grateful for the gifts they gave me. There were examples of how to live or how to treat other people guiding me through my life. I miss them all. I appreciate them all, they didn’t want to go, but it was their time. Cherish all who matter to you and treat everyone with kindness and dignity.

Losing a Job

When it comes to losing jobs, many have come and gone in my life. Some I liked and was sorry to see them go. Others not so much. In some cases it

starting over not the end
Starting Over Is OK

seemed like the end of the world when the job ended. In retrospect, I can always see the positive that came out of a seemingly negative situation. It could be that it was personal growth or a better experience that allowed me to be happier as a person.

It can be devastating as you get older to start over, but what a great gift it can be to allow you to grow and find what will make you happy. My experience is that the real problems come when you spend your time worrying about the past instead of addressing today. As traumatic as losing a job can be, a job does not define who you are, and your life isn’t ended because you lost a job. Change is life. I have always chosen life.

Relationships Ending

Relationships, unfortunately, end at some point (sometimes). People move, things change, priorities differ, and unexplained cruelness. These lessons are hard to deal with, and these can be with friends, coworkers, or in intimate relationships. All relationships have a cycle, and it is just some are larger and longer than others. If you look at the entire board of life, all relationships eventually end—even the most reliable end with one of the participants’ death.

Every person who comes into your life is there for a reason and often teaches you something. There are friendships I have had that have been lifelong. Some relationships lasted for a few years or even a shorter time. I appreciate them because I have learned a lot from everybody I have ever met. Even those I wish never happened because of the pain they caused brought learning experiences to me. Although sorrow was the teacher, they have made me stronger and hopefully a bit wiser.

Sometimes the lesson was how not to behave or what not to do, but most often, the experience is about how you can grow as a person. Letting go and appreciating the lessons you learned becomes more complicated when emotions are involved. Love is one of the world’s best feelings, but the fear of losing love has led to many personal tragedies. Time is the only cure for love because eventually, everyone gets the lesson and appreciates the great things that love has given them. Ultimately, you have only two choices, learn something or be miserable. Which is a better way to go through life?

The next time you face an apparent ending, take a moment and attempt to add some perspective to the situation. Once you get past the fear of losing something, you may find a silver lining if you allow it to work in your life. Look at what you learned and gained in wisdom and experience. Take that lesson with you into the future, and appreciate those giving you something positive daily. Value the experiences of life, and don’t be afraid of the changes inevitably coming your way. You have changed, life has changed, and everything will change again before you finish with this ride. Embrace all the good moments you have and the people you spend them with.

“You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling, but the staying down.” —Mary Pickford

“Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” —Guy Finley

“The beginning is always today.” —Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” —George Eliot

 

Life Lessons

Super Hilton

Leave a comment

Yesterday I had one of the most interesting visitors I ever experienced.  It was from my 10-year-old self and it was eye opening to remember how great that person was and even better to know that all of the great things about him

Super Hilton at a summer camp in the Maine, 1977. (back row 8th from left and right, dead middle)

are still there inside of me now 40 years later.

Today we live in a time where every moment is captured in pictures and posted on social media. It is difficult to fathom that events happened in our past which were never caught on camera and only exist today in our memories and thoughts. Over the years those thoughts get lost,  buried underneath the avalanche of experiences we have year after year. Positive and negative they work to change us.  I was a kid with hope and a kid who loved life and knew what a good person I had the potential to be. And I lived it every day.  I enjoyed people and the new experiences that every day brought with it.

Over the years those things that made us get lost,  buried underneath the avalanche of experiences we have year after year. Positive and negative they work to change us.  I was a kid with hope and a kid who loved life and knew what a good person I had the potential to be. And I lived it every day.  I enjoyed people and the new experiences that every day brought with it. At this camp, we did the usual stuff, archery, swimming, arts, and crafts, and in this case bible and Jesus stuff.

Here are a few of the lessons that he had me remember today.

Seek Your Joy

Enjoy each day………….. Or we should experience joy in each day, it is there for you. No matter what is happening there are things to be joyful about and allow yourself to embrace life.  Joy is in us all and there is an opportunity in every day to feel it through the things we do.

Occasionally, we look at the things we like to do and worry about what others think. That will rob from your joy. If you are functioning from the view of your true self, and nobody else is being harmed then don’t waste energy worrying about others judgments. It is none of your business and really of no consequence, what is the joy that you get from what you are doing. That is all that counts.

Be Yourself

Each of us is unique and that is what makes us great and identifies us as the one of a kind human beings that we are. Don’t apologize for it and don’t ask anyone else to be different than they are.  All of us have a light in us and when it shines, so do we.  Life has a tendency to cover the light with the shade of experience or the fear of not being accepted.

Let your light shine and those who appreciate it are welcome to visit and those who are negative toward it or you are unimportant and clearly, need to work on themselves. Let them do that someplace else.

Understand and Support Others

All people have their struggles and challenges. The experiences each of us have leave wounds and scars and fear of the pain they cause lead to behavior that is reactionary, mean and sometimes hurtful.  Don’t judge others too harshly because under that behavior is a light that is uniquely theirs and is probably seeking someone to recognize it, accept it and love it for the beauty that it provides.  Allow them the chance to shine when you can.  Some people are jealous of others talents and abilities. Don’t be one of these people.  There is more than enough darkness in the world and it needs light. The more people who are living up to their true selves the brighter and more exciting the world will be.

Just because you are kind doesn’t mean that you are weak. Never let other people dim your light because of jealousy, envy or because they don’t appreciate you.  Not everyone is going to like you and that is their problem, not yours.

Super Hilton

The signatures on the back of the picture. I am Super Hilton, written in cursive.

There is no doubt that as a 10-year old, I had a vivid imagination and really had a lot of confidence in what I could do in life. On the back of that picture, all of the kids in the cabin signed their names. I signed mine as “Super Hilton”. Since I just started to master writing in cursive, it was written in perfect 5th-grade cursive writing.  There was a confidence in that name I lost in life.  10 year old me has been living with me for the past 40 years and he has made many appearances, but only for a brief moment and not for nearly long enough.

It is my goal to bring more of Super Hilton into my life each and every day. Being more confident in who I am and what makes me happy. How to treat others and what behavior I accept are all the things this visit from the past reminded me.  I believe each of us has the ability to be great, and I feel sorry for all of those who have forgotten or don’t believe this about themselves.

In the words of Super Hilton, “I  am the man”.