Tag Archives: life

22

Know You Can Change

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Evolve- develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complex form.

If you know nothing else, know that change is constant and inevitable. We are all changing at every moment, and it may be a minuscule difference, but it is happening. You choose if you change without awareness or evolve through your development to become more in tune with your life, gain more happiness, and grow as a person.

Shouldn’t we all try to evolve consciously, dictating our direction as much as we can? Our road map begins with an awareness of our life and where we want to see changes, creating goals, setting our intentions, and then taking actions that lead to those changes.   It begins with your thoughts about who you are, the words you speak about yourself and your goals,  and the actions you take to bring these things into your reality. Make them count.

Moving to a more complex form

Evolving may seem daunting and complicated. First, it is a change, and nobody likes this. There is a tentative fear of every shift, even if we are sure it is for the best. Saying goodbye is difficult. Also, if it is something we definitely should eliminate, at least you know what to expect, and if it is wrong, we spend time worrying circumstances could worsen. Then what?   Courage allows you to seek to evolve. To grow into what you want to become, having a mindset focused on growth and understanding will help.

Invest your time and thought into things that will increase your knowledge, interests, and understanding of the world around you. Read books about topics that pique your interest. Spend time with people who are already at the point you want to go or have a similar interest in going that way. If you spend your time without intention, you are a victim of that time. You are moving wherever it takes you like a log in a river. Filling your days with little direction and focus is an existence, not a life. Evolve into a life in which you are the best version of yourself. Invest your time rather than just spending it. We have far too little time in this life to waste and far too much good to do and value to contribute.

Life will Help You

Life pushes us along the path of personal evolution, whether we want it or not. How many experiences in life do we label as bad? When in the final evaluation, we see the positives in a challenging situation brought. Even though we label something as wrong or right in our minds, it is merely an experience. Experiences are gifts that push you in one direction or another, and life enjoys making you exactly where it wants you to go. Grief, anger, loss, regret, and other negative emotions can cloud our judgment, but eventually, we will change. To seek to evolve by raising our consciousness is a great adventure. No adventure is risk-free; many are painful to the heart and mind. But that is what experience is all about.

Try to remove the labeling of experiences as good or bad. Let things be what they are. You can still experience grief at a loss but recognize the situation as part of life. You can’t go backward, and you can only share what is. So experience it and allow it to teach you what it can, even if it hurts. Don’t use any circumstance as an excuse not to try to evolve positively. Life gives you opportunities to grow and develop, and you must make a conscious choice. Either you are going to change into something better or something worse. Nothing stays the same. It is always your choice.

Sometimes you Gotta Lose Before you Win.

When we experience a loss, it is undesirable and not as good a feeling as winning. But it is what it is. We evolve when we look at the damage and evaluate why it happened, then take steps to improve our performance and process. If you won and succeeded all the time, life would have no challenges, and there would be no need for growth. Life doesn’t work that way, and it continuously provides us with situations where we can lose or win.

The key is to remove the emotion from the equation and not to take a loss personally. It isn’t a personal thing, and it is just a thing. Mourn the damage, but learn the lesson and work to become better at whatever cost you the lost in the first place. So the next time, you will find victory and not defeat. Self-improvement is a process of evolution that has always been and always will be a part of the human experience.

Evolving

Support yourself and others in the process of evolving. Recognize people are going to try things, moving in directions you may not believe in or understand. Support them on their journey. It is their journey, after all, and you are on your trip to evolving into your best self.

Learn to speak to yourself in a positive and supportive way. If the voice in your head isn’t supportive of you, get rid of it. Detach yourself from negative thoughts and energy and attach yourself to positive results and experiences. It begins with a conscious awareness that you are changing daily. Either you are getting better or getting worse. Nobody stays the same for very long. The great news is you can choose the person you evolve into through your thoughts, words, and actions. How are you going to develop today?

“Life is about evolving. Don’t stay in a situation that is not helping you grow mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.” 

“Evolve or dissolve. It’s your option.”

 

 

21

Destiny

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Destiny- the hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future; fate.

DestinyThere are always going to be questioned in people’s minds. Why is this happening? Why did that occur? Why this experience? Are there forces at work in our lives that we have little control over?  Do we have a destiny, or is life all about free will?  Or both?  Questions are the tools of all thinking people searching for answers. They guide our minds toward solutions and actions.  Whether you believe every person has a destiny or not is irrelevant to me because we all have a destination. Whether you are fated to get there or not is a matter of semantics because you will get there.  Your life will be full of challenges, changes, and choices you will have to make. Each one is propelling you toward other challenges, transitions, and options. This cycle will continue in a loop until the end of your time.

Each of these decisions you make and experiences you have to change you, your outlook, and the skills others have with you.  So do you control these choices, or does it come from the Universe?  Just contemplating this situation will increase your consciousness. It all starts with you taking a moment and looking at your thoughts, words, and actions today as you determine the extent of your experiences.

 Choices of Destiny

Why does one person become a wild success and another a failure? I think it has very little to do with what is destined to happen and more to do with our reaction to situations and the choices we make.  To believe that only one destiny is available would seem to take away the joy of growth and learning.  Who is to say that there are not two or three or a million different destinies available to us and how we react to the challenges we face determines where we land.  Each day we are faced with the simple choice to accept where we are or to do something different.  To be a positive force in the world we live in or harmful.

You will be responsible for the place you are in right now. Situations are out of our control. How we react to them is our choice always, and the definition of your life is the result.  Losing a job, ending a relationship, a natural disaster, or the sudden death of a loved one are all examples of things happening out of your control.  How you have reacted to these things defines your life today.  Good, bad, or indifferent.  It wasn’t the events that created this destiny, it was your choices and resulting beliefs developed because of them.  You are free to choose something else at any time.

Create Your Destiny

What is it that you want in life? Would you like a more fulfilling relationship? To have more money? To have an exciting career? What is it that interests you?  Knowing that will help guide your choices when facing the challenges life will inevitably present you. Many people have no clear desire or destination in life, so their reactions to challenges are emotional and inconsistent.  In the words of Lewis Carroll, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”

Your destiny can be the result of a series of conscious choices, or it can be the result of your unconscious meandering.  Having a clear idea of what you would like to have in your life will allow you to take the right road and take responsibility for those choices. Don’t hide behind the false wall of pity. No hero’s story was ever built with the boards of self-pity and fear.  Be brave, be responsible for your choices, and know where you would like to go. Picture your desired destination and take actions that most likely move you in that direction. That is your true destiny.

Be a Hammer, Not a Nail

I was once taught there are two choices in life, and at different times we are the experiencers of both: Be a hammer or a nail.  That means you are either the provider of forces influencing the events around you. Or you are the instrument being influenced by the power of situations, other people, or whatever else you allow to control you.  You have the choice in most cases where you fall into this relationship.

Sometimes, we will be the nail no matter what we do.  Accept the situation, be responsible for your part, and look for ways to influence the direction of things from that point. You will face challenges in life, and they are opportunities for growth, accomplishment, and finding your destiny.  Accept the challenge with courage and character, and you will find the lesson in the problem more quickly.

It all starts with a more engaged consciousness, a thought, and focused action. Look at your thoughts, and they determine the words you speak and result in your efforts.  It is your destiny; take control of it today.

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward.”

“Love is our true destiny. I can control my destiny, but not my fate. Destiny is no matter of chance.”

 

21

Have a Day

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The time after sunset and before dark, the Gloaming!
The time after sunset and before dark, the Gloaming!

There is a time between the light and dark of day, where if you look closely where all things appear to be possible. It is the location in life where the ghosts of daily accomplishments and future possibilities meet.

Did the light of day provide something worthwhile to contemplate? Or were the seeds planted that are going to flourish into the bountiful harvest of tomorrow?

These thoughts arrive in the gloaming as the day resigns its light and accepts the inevitable cover of the night. An ending of one moment, as we all find the rest, we need to face to possibility and new opportunity the new day will bring. Our spirit guides us through this day.

Morning Dawns

The morning light dancing on the water.
The morning light is dancing on the water.

Just as the case with everyone’s life, each day provides an opportunity for creating whatever we choose.  We are born at dawn, and as life unfolds for however long our day will last, we design, experience, and love those things we create.   The morning is ever hopeful. As light dances on the soft water, so do our dreams and hopes move. We see few limits and move confidently through this time.

Sometimes there are clouds or at least cloudy experiences that darken the sky. Many are just temporary, passing from the sun and memory as quickly as the wind can push them away. Others stay with us like a part of our being throughout our day, an almost permanent black cloud. The morning is an excellent time, full of innocence and possibilities. It can be the most significant part of a person’s day. Yet, the realities of life have not diminished one’s hope and the sight of unlimited potential.

Afternoon Of Realization

Afternoon activity can define your day.
Afternoon activity can define your day.

The morning will only last so long, and the midday and the afternoon follow it. The afternoon is a time of great accomplishment. You have the energy and knowledge built up through the beginning of your day, and now you are putting things learned into practice.  Moving with the experience gained, we march confidently from task to task, applying our knowing purpose to professional and personal experiences.

It is only as the shadows of the afternoon get long that we start to see we might not have known so much after all. Some of our best-laid plans that showed so much promise have crumbled around our heads — threatening to destroy us.  It is like an illusion that existed was suddenly wiped away, leaving something strange in its place. The truth is what is left.  These shadows of the afternoon are disheartening and intimidating, and either you will recognize them as mere shadows of fear and move forward with your plans. Or you are going to hide from them with your head in the sand, remembering the good safe times of morning and dreaming of returning to safety.  It is not possible, but the mind is full of illusions.

The Evening

The lengthening shadows of evening.
The lengthening shadows of evening.

As we move through the evening, there is no longer any fooling ourselves. The day is going to end eventually. It doesn’t matter what you do, where you go, or how you act. The day is going to end permanently.  Dusk is a time for reflection, understanding, and to pass along all the valuable lessons that the day has taught to others.

Some might be fearful their decisions are going to come back to haunt them in the coming darkness. Others are accepting of the inevitability of the end of the day and their part in it.  It is best not to regret the memory of the day because whatever has transpired is still, in its way, fantastic and magical.

There will never be another day like it ever again. Your part in the activities, small or large, has been vital. Events have flowed from them, like drops of water from melted snow collect to create a mighty river.

These rivers allow our choices to weave their way over land and create a mighty ocean. So your part is significant, and the reality of all things would be different if you didn’t play your role in the day.

The Gloaming Comes

The day will end, there is no escaping it. All we can do is enjoy the light we have.
The day will end. There is no escaping it. All we can do is enjoy the light we have.

As you move from the end of the day into the blanket of darkness that is night, there is a final moment of reflection and appreciation.  It is a seemingly magical image in time where there is a glimmer of what the day has wrought — memories of the people and events that colored your life dance together, both thrilling and haunting you simultaneously. As you look into the sky, you see a record of these events, but not written in stone. That is the magic of the gloaming, I think, that the activities you remember are only shadows of reality and maybe playing out differently in some other dimension of time.

It is senseless to fear the gloaming of the day because it is merely a mirror image of your creation.  Let the night come. It is not an ending.  It is only the start of a different time of perceived darkness. As we know, though, the night is not dark. There are starlight and moonlight available to guide you. It is a shadow day, but nothing to be feared. The gloaming of the day is merely the doorway into another world. An inevitable journey that we all are going to take at the end of our day. The light is just on the other side, waiting to greet you and bring you nearly unlimited possibilities.

Get your rest because tomorrow will bring a new tapestry to be woven and a new landscape of possibility.

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21

Life Learning

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Make The Most of Your Failure

Learn from failure try again
Samuel Beckett

Sometimes it feels like we can never do anything right, that everything we do is inherently wrong, and we have no clue what we are doing.  Most thinking people will feel this way at some point in their lives. It is just human nature.  Often as we try out new thoughts to see which ones are “keepers” and which ones need to be thrown back, we will experience failure characterized as a mistake.   However, it is important to understand that mistakes in life are not only inevitable. They are vital to our growth as people and professionals.  You will never experience genius in any field without first experiencing a few missteps along the way.

Learning from the cruel hand of experience has been occurring throughout history. It would help if you didn’t allow your mistakes to define you because you have been presented with a powerful growth opportunity when you approach it from the right frame of mind.  If you analyze the failure, why did this happen?  Why didn’t it work out?  What can I do better?  How can I fix it?  You will start to build on the misfortune, using the knowledge you were able to compile by failing to move you toward a solid construction of a success.

 

Learning More From Failure

Make the most of your mistakes
New shirt!

It is often difficult to learn from success because if you feel everything went right, you are not going to be looking as hard for the weaknesses.  When you experience failure, it is not desirable, so you are motivated to find out what is wrong or what you can do better and fix it.  This was the case for me as a coach.  When we won, it was easy to pat yourself on the back and feel good about yourself.  You won, how bad could you be?  But when you lose, you know that changes have to be made, both mentally and physically, to experience success the next time.  The weaknesses jump out at you, and you always feel like you should have seen it coming.  Or even if you were able to recognize the problem, it is difficult to motivate change in people experiencing success.  Only after the group touches the cold hand of failure will they be willing to accept change.  We are like this as individuals, and if we are experiencing nothing but perceived success, there is no motivation for change.   That is why we all learn more from failure than we can learn from success.

Our Society Fears Failure

success-and-failure-sign
One can lead to the other.

Today, failure is looked at as something to be avoided today, even more so than in the past.   Parents look at their kids today and want to control every aspect of their lives so that they can protect them from failure.  In doing this, they rob their kids of one of the most powerful learning experiences they can have.  Why are we afraid to let kids make mistakes?  I think it is for several reasons. First of all, mistakes can be painful. In many ways, some poor decisions can affect someone for their entire life, or in some cases, end a life.  This is tragic but doesn’t change the fact that an individual needs the freedom to make mistakes to reach the potential that they have inside.  Lessons learned in this manner are lifelong and provide a solid base for development.  You can’t make mistakes for your kids, and you can only guide them, love them, pick them up when they fall, and urge them to keep moving forward, trying again.

When you look at your life from an outside perspective and analyze events you would characterize as mistakes, honestly, make a list of the positives that have come from it.  You will be surprised at how your perspective will change.  We all want to avoid mistakes, and the wisdom of time allows us to do this more often.  You cannot live your life in fear of a mistake, or you are not living your life at all.

Learning from Failure Quotes:

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
– Albert Einstein –

 

Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.
– Og Mandino –
Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.
– Abraham Lincoln –
The person interested in success has to learn to view failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top.
– Dr. Joyce Brothers –
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
– Elbert Hubbard –
If you’re not failing now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative
– Woody Allen –
Good people are good because they’ve come to wisdom through failure.
– William Saroyan –
To succeed, you must fail so that you know what not to do the next time.
– Anthony D’Angelo –
Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.
– Al Bernstein –
Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat.
– Malcolm Forbes –
You learn as much from those who have failed as from those who have succeeded.
– Michael Johnson –
From success to failure is one step; from failure to success is a long road.
– Yiddish Proverb –
Success does not consist in never making blunders but in never making the same one a second time.
– Josh Billings –
Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
– Al Franken –
Instruction does not prevent wasted time or mistakes, and mistakes themselves are often the best teachers of all.
– James Anthony Froude –
Our life business is not to succeed but to continue to fail in good spirits.
– Robert Louis Stevenson –
The things that hurt us teach us.
– Author Unknown –
Being defeated is often only a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
– Marilyn Vos Savant –
My great concern is not whether you have failed but whether you are content with your failure.
– Abraham Lincoln
You’re on the road to success when you realize that failure is only a detour.
– Author is unknown –
Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker.
– Zig Ziglar –
It’s how you deal with failure that determines how you achieve success.
– David Feherty –