Tag Archives: Love Life

Questions

Tell Me Who Do You Love?

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Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

who-do-you-love-what-are-you-doing-about-it by Jonathan Hilton

Love is a difficult topic to discuss because there are so many parts inside of us that can be exposed through this discussion, that it is easier to brush it off and make a joke of it, to distract from the fact that love is a huge part of being human and being happy on the face of the earth.

This straight forward question is kind of fascinating because it forces you to declare where the love in your life lies.  I realize that there are many different kinds of love we experience during the course of a life.  Love brings with it a wide variety of experiences from the fantastic to the horrible and it can all come from the same relationships.

I Love Everybody

love everyoneEveryone in existence loves someone. There is no way that you can’t.  It might be unrequited love, or unfortunate love or bad love but we all love someone.

With that premise in mind I answer that I have a feeling of love inside for everybody.  How can that be? Easy, because I believe that we are all connected and although our physical experience is different, there is a similarity that we all share.  Therefore to hate someone else is to hate myself.

There were many times when I looked at people with a much harsher eye. I judged people with a cool and unemotional dislike,  not liking those who were not doing what, in my mind they should have been doing.

It is easy to judge others because it diverts the attention away from yourself.  Most things that you find annoying or as shortcomings in others are the weaknesses you generally recognize in yourself.

I know that every person is living their life the best they can.  I can’t judge their personal decisions because I have not experienced the pain or joy that has influenced them.  All that I can do is to be accepting of people just for what they are because inside of them is a person who is very similar to me.

Even if they are mean, uncaring or cruel to me or others, I do not let their bad behavior and poor choices dictate how I am going to think or feel. I forgive them, that is all there is to do.  I would rather that then carry hate or resentment in my heart.  Hate is a virus and will destroy your soul and make life quite joyless. I have carried that load enough.

But You Gotta Love You

lucy loveOf all the people you spend time with in your life, you have to be the most important.  It is difficult for many people to consider that they love themselves, let alone to tell the world that they do.

For many years I can say that I never forgave myself for the smallest of mistakes.  I didn’t love myself, in fact I didn’t like much of what I felt or thought.  Yet in the end it is true that you can’t give love to someone else unless you first feel it for yourself.

I believe that each of us has a gift inside that makes us special.  When we were young we felt it and had hope for the day it would come to light.  Yet for me as for others, life pushed that gift aside and made us forget what we had.  Replaced by a chorus of  “you should”, “You Could have” , “You must”, “If only you would have.”

None of these regrets push you closer to your true self, in fact they push that truth deeper inside and make it harder to find.

I am not sure if or when I will ever find that light that existed in me, but I remember that it did at one time and I am searching for it feverishly because I know that it is fantastic.  The possessor of such a gift must be worthy of love no matter who it is, and therefore the first love I feel must be for myself.

What Am I doing About It

end loveWell anyone who has been reading my writings or talking to me in person will know that I am trying to live in a way that is representative of the best of me. I know that I have fallen short in many ways in my life and without the help of others I never would have  been able to start this journey. I never would have known what to look for.  So I follow the path that is laid out in front of me. One day at a time and experience what is placed in front of me. I accept others for what they are and try to accept myself the same way.  Love is the most powerful emotion in the world and all good things are an offshoot of this emotion.  I am doing the best I can to follow the feeling of love.

 

Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

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What’s Love Got to Do With It?

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Love this Card featured on the Simpson's
Love this Card featured on the Simpson’s

So here it is Valentine’s Day.  I initially was going to rant about how this day is not about love and only about how much money a person has to spend to adequately show their love to another.  That this isn’t actually a holiday at all, but a manufactured event of greeting card companies to sell more greeting cards between Christmas and Easter.  But that is just being miserable for the sake of being miserable so I decided to focus on what the focus should be on this day, LOVE.

Love Has Everything to Do With It

When I heard the word love, for much of my life I thought about the romantic emotion of love. However love is more than just an emotion that you feel when you are around someone you care about, it is a force that can help make your life and those of others better each and every day.  Love is the fertile soil from which kindness, charity, acceptance, understand all grow out of.

Kindness Counts Today

Good enough for Superman, Good enough for me
Best Valentine EVER!

Kindness seems to me to be one of the things that we should be focusing on every Valentine’s Day. There are opportunities in each of our lives to just show a little kindness to another person.  It doesn’t cost a dime to be kind to anyone. So the next time you interact with someone, be it, someone, you have known your whole life or a complete stranger, just approach them with kindness and not only will they feel better about the world and themselves but you will too.

Patience is definitely a Virtue

Another branch of the plant of love is patience.  When you get frustrated it is usually because you are not focused on the here strongmanand now but because you are thinking about what might not happen in the future if something goes wrong.  Being patient is simply recognizing any moment for what it is.  A line is long because it is long, not for the sole purpose of messing up your day.  A person who makes a mistake that you think could have been avoided is more than likely doing their best, and a little guidance from someone else might be all they need to be more productive and to have a better day.  The point is that it doesn’t matter if you’re dealing with a teller at a bank, your kids or your spouse, practice patience and understanding over being impatient and mean and you and those around you will see the world in a much brighter light.

It’s What You Give That You Get

The rules of life are mysterious and nobody knows them for sure, we take guesses based on experience but there is no rule book to guide you.  One thing that I have found to be true is that what you give in life, most often you get back.  If your focus is on solely meeting your needs, then you are probably going to be surrounded by people who are solely focused on their needs.  The same is true for love if you are focused on making sure those you care about are having their needs met, then you are going to find that others are looking out for yours.  It is what you give that you get, for the most part in my experience.

Love Stinks When You Lose Your Focus

Valentines

If you have ever been in love, you know that it is the greatest feeling in all of the world. To care about someone so much and know they care about you.  It is so great that often times we lose our focus on the love and focus on the fear of losing it.

This is what happens when jealousy enters the picture.  Jealousy is a powerful manifestation of fear and can work to not only destroy a loving relationship but rob you of any enjoyment that relationship might bring you.  Fear of losing the love that means so much to you is a recipe to lose everything you have.  That is my experience that fear is the destroyer of relationships and needs to be discarded on a regular basis. Focus on the things that you love and they will be accentuated.

So I hope that all of you people who love this day have a great time today. Those of you who dislike this day because of the fact that it is over commercialized foolishness, trying to make money off of the purest emotion in the world, I wish you the biggest and best Valentine’s Day you have ever had.  You deserve it.