Tag Archives: Love

21

Trickster

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I once believed I was an intelligent individual. Life had given me many perceived answers as to how to live, the best patterns of thought to follow, and a philosophy of thinking to guide me. Yet, life is a miserable trickster sometimes, and I had forgotten this important fact. It gives you enough knowledge to build up a false sense of security in your actions and then pulls the foundation in your mind away, letting you fall hard on the unforgiving concrete of learning. Congratulations! You have just moved to a new level of understanding. If you survive the harrowing experience and manage to find a reason to continue with the game of life, then you have won. I once thought I was a relatively wise man, but much of what I believed to be the truth has been proven empty in the pale open light of reality.

I Am Nothing

Wisdom knows that I am nothing. This line is the beginning of a quote I love, and it always reminds me to put my thoughts, actions, and experiences into a proper perspective. No matter what I do in my life, it is all relatively insignificant to the world in the big scheme of things. Nobody cares if I am kind, loving, understanding or mean, hateful or judgmental. The world will continue, and in effect, all that I am is nothing. The world will keep turning without me. Billions of people will rise in the morning, whether I am here or not. Lives will continue, the world will go on, with or without my contribution.

Yet, a small part of the world may benefit from my decision to be caring, kind, accepting, and loving toward those in my life. All I can do is make my actions positively represent my best self and best efforts. The thought that I am nothing with no more influence than anyone else but no less either is Wisdom itself. I have long stopped judging myself and my philosophies as good or bad because they are things I think and experience. I know that I am nothing, and in that knowledge, I have the potential to make a difference.

I am Everything

Love teaches me that I am Everything. In my experience, the human heart is not well equipped to handle love. The emotions of our lives come to us in waves, love, lust, anger, hatred, jealousy, pain, anger, joy, attachment, kindness, meanness, loss, gain, and many more things are all wrapped up in the emotion we describe as love. There are so many things wound up into this experience nobody can take it all quickly. But in love, we can find our best selves and abilities to rise to the surface of who we are.

Inside of us is the constant battle of choice and love is at the forefront of this. It brings heightened experiences and magnifies all the choices we make around them. The more we love ourselves and others, the more our life has to contribute to the world. In being conscious of how our thoughts of love materialize in the world. The closer we are to being our best selves. Love knows I am Everything and in Everything, from nature to thoughts in my head. We are vital to the world because of our capacity to see the value in others and life. This view is often obscured by the painful needs of our false selves or ego. We can’t see our love’s value or capacity because we are too worried about our needs not being met. Remember, love knows you are Everything.

Life is In Between

So we look to Wisdom to know we are nothing and love to understand we are Everything, but then there is the experience of life. We have to be able to look at our experiences and quantify them in some way. It is tough for me because I am constantly moving between these two different realities, and the closer I am to Wisdom, the more lonely and sad I feel. So is it better to be less wise and more blissful in experiencing love each day? I think the phrase is, ignorance is bliss.

I do know that the only person who controls the amount of love I give to the world is me. Circumstances are what they are. The choices of others are theirs to make, and they define their lives. It seems very unwise to allow them to dictate how you feel about yourself. That seems silly and dangerous. A person could be mentally unbalanced, and letting their vacillations of thoughts and caring dictate your reality will make you mentally unstable. I hope I can choose to be wise and loving.

Being Wise and Loving

I hope that in the game of life, I can learn to practice the Wisdom of knowing I am not the center of the universe. Understanding the love I can contribute to the world can make a difference in some small way. By choosing to put the well-being of others and those, I affect in my life. Making positive choices each day and in each situation I face is the best decision I can make. I am choosing to be kind, not mean. To be honest and not lie. To be accepting of others and not judgmental. To be giving, not selfish. To be appreciative, not greedy.

There is only one way that I will find out: to live life and hope that I can navigate this minefield of emotions, thought, and action—turning my life into something that resembles value to others and myself. It must be a pleasant existence to float through things and not wonder about anything in any deep and contemplative way. But that is not my path. Is it one of Wisdom, one of love, or one that contains a balance within? Only in the end will the answer be revealed if it has all been false sense or not.

“Wisdom knows I am nothing,
Love knows I am Everything,
and between the two, my life moves.”

 

21

A Problem

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Sometimes we forget how much control we have in our journey.

When I was growing up, I knew who I was and what I wanted to stand for. There were certain core principles in life I knew were “good,” and I wanted to practice, and there were things that were “bad,” and I wanted to stay away from those. Life changed that boy and clouded his judgment, making the lines of what was “good” and “bad” become cloudy in his mind. The programming I received through experience, peers, society, institutions, and family members made me think my original thoughts were wrong. I naturally valued honesty, kindness, fairness, truth, love, showing courage, and being the best person I could be.

Those things were not always looked at positively and fit in; I pushed much of my best self to the background to lie dormant for years. Until one day, I realized how unhappy I was with how life was going. Through a lot of soul searching, reading, and questioning, I began to realize that my choices were the problem. I had chosen to move from my authentic self to a person who wanted to “fit in.” That compromise cost me much, but it wasn’t too late. I could make conscious decisions about my priorities, which would allow me to return to the person I was as a child. That was a conscious choice and led to raising my consciousness about all aspects of life that will lead to growth. Here are some factors anyone can align themselves with to become their best self.

Finding Truth

Being truthful is difficult and often painful. The conscious choice to accept your truth will be one of the most freeing things you ever experience. What others will think of you stop many of us from expressing our realities to the world. Express your truth anyway. For me, it is about realizing there is a conscious choice in how we treat others and ourselves, and we make it every day. I like people, but I am uncomfortable in crowds. Unless I make a conscious effort, I am very judgmental of others. I am prone to be harmed by extending help to others. I have made bad relationship choices in my life.

Seeing reality for what it is and not through a lens of what things mean is truth. It will allow you to escape the expectations of others and embrace who you are and who you want to be. Most of us are living a lie created by our programming. To embrace who we are as honest and truthful. Embrace it with both arms.

Create Love in Your Life

Love is one of the healthiest things in the world. It is an emotion, but more importantly, love is a verb that dictates the positivism you bring into your life and the world around you. More than just a romantic feeling with one other, love is built in the way you interact with the world and feel about yourself in each moment. To become comfortable with who you are, where you are in life and where you want to go is the more significant aspect of love.

We live in a world that pushes us to be superficial in our thoughts and actions. Put those things aside and pursue what makes you feel positive about yourself, and others will allow the love inside you to shine out to others. Some will accept it; some are so negative they will run from it. Let them that is their choice; you can only choose to love for yourself. Deeper connections with other people can only happen when both parties are looking for them. Love is a verb, a compilation of your actions in life. Love who you are and be the best person you can be.

You Create Your Life

I think we dismiss the power we each have to create almost anything in our lives. All people can see something they want in their minds, from love to wealth to fame or whatever you might like to create for yourself. Yet, we let the same spirit that can help us make these dreams, push negative thoughts onto us, and stop us from creating anything of value. Test it out. Look at a time when you have an inspiring idea. You have about five minutes of positive excitement before you start the flood of thought, telling you why you can’t do what you dream.

It’s too hard. Too expensive. Unrealistic. Nobody would buy it. You don’t have the talent. Nothing you do ever turns outright. All of these things and worse will rise in your mind, and if not dismissed consciously, they will stop you from pursuing what you want. You have the power to choose the thoughts you want to focus on consciously. You can build the motivation and discipline needed to accomplish anything. It starts with aligning yourself with this power by acting on it every day. Do what you must to chase your dream. Your dream will soon be chasing you.

Pursue Conscious Growth

It is a simple plan to find the principles that resonate with you and be true to them in your life. If they are absolute truth, love, power, unity, robustness, courage, and intelligence, then your life will take off in the direction you choose. If you decide to ignore these things and consciously or unconsciously select selfish, negative thoughts that do not represent your best self, life will be far less enjoyable.

I know because I have allowed the unconscious selfishness of my thought to run my life for too long. When I focus on the truth of my life and what I need to create to find the essential things of value and produce practical actions and show love to myself and the world, my life is a pretty great place to be.

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” Albert Einstein

“Consciousness is the stone that creates the waves in a sea of nothing.” Richard Gerber

“Through consciousness, our minds have the power to change our planet and ourselves. It is time we heed the wisdom of the ancient indigenous people and channel our consciousness and spirit to tend the garden and not destroy it.” Bruce Lipton

“Consciousness is only possible through change; change is only possible through movement.” Aldous Huxley

“There is no birth of consciousness without pain.” Carl Jung

 The Problem

21

Fight the Dark Side

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Focus On the Force

Each of us has a power that we either use to help move us toward our goals or provide an excuse for not achieving what we want.  I think it is much more similar to life in the Star Wars franchise than we would probably admit. All people contain within themselves a duality. These two sides have a high potential to do things perceived as an excellent good or something representing evil.

All people contain this power within them, and that is the force of life.  It is not by magic that people end up living an authentic life. It is by conscious decision.  The choices we make in every moment dictate the nature of the force within us.  These choices are a refreshing combination of how we think about ourselves, the world, and everything in it.  Focus honestly on how you feel about things and your conscious thoughts today.  Notice the emotions that arise in you because of an idea. Then see the words and actions that come from that.  This process determines the power and nature of the force in you.  It all starts with thoughts.

Operating on the Light Side

We would all like to think of ourselves as being the hero and doing what is right always. That is not a human experience. It is a constant struggle between our two sides. Here is the simple formula for working with the forces of light.  Put others before yourself, be kind in thought and deed, accept the differences of others, feel joy, peace, serenity, love, hope, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.  All of these exist within us, and it is our choice to practice them or not.

What a world we would have if all people were able to function in this part of themselves.  If you look at how you like to be treated, all of these things are probably on the list. Choosing these things and meaning allows the force within you to help others. It isn’t always easy to think this way when you see someone doing something say to someone else or you. It is human nature to want to fight back and take an eye for an eye. When we are hurt, we want to cut back. To put that instinct aside and treat a situation with love will allow the force in you to do great good in the world.

Welcome to The Dark Side

Welcome to the dark side, which needs no introduction, I am sure because we all have one of these.  Our darkness exists by our insecurities, pains, and fears of our lives.  Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, superiority, and ego contribute to our dark side. These are thoughts that lead to words and actions that will directly or indirectly harm others somehow.  But the person who is hurt the most is you. The dark side of the force does contain the power, but it is corrupting, painful and takes away the good in the world for selfish gain.

Many people I have known can harm someone by directly consciously speaking words that exploit the insecurity of someone.  Then fear is generated, or selfishness, and that person has been infected.  Look at the people in your life and how they speak to you and others. Where on the scale of the force does their intention come from in each moment?  The allure of the dark side is that you will not have to suffer again. But the truth is, of course, your actions are causing you to experience. These thoughts and emotions wear you down and hurt you. To feel these things is the dark side.

Your Force is Always there.

Inside of each of us, this force I am trying to define is always available to you.  It is there to call on when you need strength to face a challenge.  Even in the most desperate times in life, remember the force in you will be there to push back the adversity and allow you to thrive if you let it.  You may have to make a course adjustment, learn a new skill, create a new goal, or start over.  Whatever the task ahead of you, the power to move toward it every day is the force inside you.

Be conscious of how you can help yourself and help others see the good in the world through you.  Take advantage of opportunities to show this. Consciously practice kindness even when there is no apparent gain for you.  Create hope for someone in the world.  Don’t let mindless anger brought on by fear control you. It solves nothing but creates pain in the world. Pain and suffering are the calling cards of the dark side of the force within you.

Where does your force lie?

Every day, you have a choice to cause pain and suffering to others or create joy and kindness.  These choices develop in the thoughts you choose to entertain.  Are they from the dark side, or are they from the light?  The force in you will always be there working on the side that you choose.  So choose your thoughts wisely.  The world depends on it.  And it all starts with your thoughts, the corresponding emotions they lead to, the tenor of the words you speak, and the actions you take.  All things will affect the force in you and the effect that energy has on the world.  Which side of the line do you fall on here?

“We must wake.” -Yoda

“Always pass on what you have learned.”- Yoda

“The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.”- Yoda

 

 

 

21

Your Time

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If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

accomplish motivations
You Can Do It Now!

There are two ways to go with this answer, and you can say: “If something hasn’t happened yet, then it is not ever going to happen.”  This will lead to losing the few strands of hope you have left for accomplishing the task you dream about.

Or the other answer can be: “The time must be ripe for whatever it is that you have brewing and dream of achieving, and the only thing you have to lose is more time passing before you achieve whatever it is you want to accomplish.”  Thus leading to the achievement of your dreams.  I don’t know about you but the second one sounds better to me.

THE TIME IS NOW!

I believe that there is no time right now to do whatever you have been thinking of achieving.  This doesn’t mean that you have to do it all today, but start moving in that direction, and you will be surprised where you may end up as you approach your goals.

There may be seemingly insurmountable obstacles in your path, but even the tallest mountain can only be crossed by taking initial steps. That is the way of the world, and if you long to achieve something, you can do it.

When you look at the part of the question yet, it would seem to indicate that you have

It won't work out
We all have that voice in our heads. Trust yourself.

been thinking of doing something for a long time, maybe it seems financially unrealistic, or seems to take away from your family time, or some other reason.

There will always be a reason if you want to avoid accomplishment. There are lots of people who have accomplished great things after a lot of struggle.

Historically speaking, you can find many who persevered and contributed much to the world at a much more significant age. Leanardo da Vinci was drawing significant sketches as he enjoyed his sixties, Michelangelo created sculptures of great talent in his eighties, Winston Churchill traveled the world and contributed to society right up until his death at the age of ninety. Leo Tolstoy wrote novels as his seventies rolled by.  So it has been proven that it is never too late to achieve anything.

Picture Your Success

success will come to you
Well, what would you do?

The most important factor to hold on to when you are seeking achievement is that you have a clear picture of what you want to accomplish, then the path will open up to you as you investigate how to make this thing happen.

Often it is not the destination but the journey that provides the most fertile ground for growth and contentment, and if you never get started, you will never experience any of it.

All it seems that you have to lose is the regret of never knowing if you could have achieved your goal or desire or not. How many people go to their graves with regrets about what they never tried? How many allowed a failure or twenty-nine failures or a hundred failures to stop them from learning and accomplishing what they might accomplish if they only tried just one more time.  I think that in the end, there is nothing to lose, except doubt and regret.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

No Regrets!!!

 

Life

What Love Has To Do With It

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Coffee Talk is this good for thought
Coffee Talk is this good for thought.

One of the great experiences I have been able to have is to be able to write a lot of great things at my favorite coffee shop. One of the perks (no pun intended) has been to become friends with the people who work so hard to keep my coffee hot and flowing as I worked my way through many different writing projects. These people don’t know it, but their conversations with me provide a lot of writing topics.  One of the most common

Young people love to be in Love.
Young people love to be in Love.

themes that they discuss is love.

Most of the people I am listening to are less than half my age, so I incline to roll my eyes and think that they don’t know what they are talking about. But on further review,  listening to the hopes and dreams from a young person’s perspective of love, there is a hope that comes back to me. I think that I have forgotten or, better yet, looked past what it means to be in love.

What did I forget? The feeling of love when it is new. As I have gotten older, that feeling is either something that I don’t think is possible or fear because I know the pain of being hurt. Great beginnings become painful endings. The possibility of that pain becomes too much sometimes.

Through that lens, it is difficult not to feel people are

How I often feel about love
How I often feel about love

being unrealistic when they are 20 and say that they are so in love and will spend the rest of their lives together.  The first inclination is to tell them they don’t understand how long life is or how much they will change in the next five years, let alone the next twenty. Then again, who am I to advise like I am the expert on love? I am clearly not.

The discussions around this topic, though, have reminded me of the times my mind was affected by love.  We discussed how you live to hear the voice of the one you love and will talk with them all the time because they make your heart go “pitter, pat.”  The happiness that comes just from being with them, and that nothing else and no one else in the world really matters.  Just you and the one you love. Paradise!

Every person in people’s history has been there before, and the heights of love make life all that more enjoyable. Food tastes better, experiences are more fun, and that person enhances the ability to grow because you want to become more for them.  That is a view of love that a younger person has, and an older person forgets because they know the other side of the experience.

There is a dark side to love for that high that comes when a person has no idea about the potential pain.

Who hasn't felt like this?
Who hasn’t felt like this?

When that love is taken or dies on its own, deep, dark soul building moments of sharp pain and emptiness, where you are so empty because you realize that what is left inside you is a vast space with nothing to fill it, the love is gone, and you can’t replace that hurt with someone else or something else, although you may try.

The scars that are left by this experience will teach you a lesson, and often the simple solution to this problem is to shut yourself off and don’t allow that power of love to enter into your life again. Control how you feel, and don’t let anyone close who might be able to bring out these emotions grow inside of you again.  That has been my life for a long time.

Here is one person who is not too stubborn to learn from the young people in the world when it is appropriate. There is a heart in all of us that deserves to be loved and to experience love. It should seek the happy, giddy, and unbridled enjoyment of being with someone else, being “crazy” about them, and enjoying the experience of being in love and being less afraid of the experience.

So I urge you all to reach for it, open up for it, and to seek love without fear and to invite it into your life and let yourself have love as idealistic as your heart belongs to a young person. Force someone else to roll their eyes at you each day because you are clearly so in love.

If love isn’t a part of your life then, what is the point of it all? If you have love in your life, nurture it and deliver empathy to the one you love always. Never take it for granted because it doesn’t happen all the time. Treasure the love that you have and the experience of being in love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

21

Soulmate

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do soulmates existDo you believe that there is a soulmate out there for everyone?  At first impulse, I often think, “No Way!” But then I did a little thinking…….

What is a Soul Mate?

soulmate3This definition needs to be established first, and according to the internet, here is the description:

Soul Mate- a person, ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

In this context, I am not sure how anyone could argue against definition of soulmatethe concept. We all have these people in our lives who are uniquely qualified to be a lover or friend over another person.  They provide a unique understanding of the place you come from and help you understand your journey and that you are still OK after taking it.

Often, we look at ourselves and see the parts of us that we can’t fathom anyone loving. The ugly scars on the inside and out that life have left on our faces and our souls. Yet a soul mate can look at those scars, and suddenly they don’t seem to matter to them. They see character or toughness or experience that provides attractiveness to them. The scars don’t seem to matter at all. I have been fortunate enough to have experienced this in my life.

I think this is a question that has to be answered by each individual for themselves. Connections are made every day between people, and who is to say that they are soulmates or just random acquaintances.  It is more than simply a romantic notion.  I believe in the thought of a mirror. That we all need to have our weaknesses reflected on us to overcome them. Once the strange, uncomfortable differences in each of us are exposed, and we are still accepted anyway, that is the purpose of a soulmate.  In each other, we find the strength to be our true selves.

In the end, being loved for your unique thought, action, and essence are what life is all about. Everyone deserves that at some point in their lives. There is something magical in the world of growth that occurs when we are given a chance to see our weaknesses.

To me, there is no doubt that soulmates exist, and we are each destined to meet them. If you haven’t met yours yet, then it could happen tomorrow.  Perhaps you already know them and don’t realize it.

21

Seperation

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What invisible walls separate you from others?
What invisible walls separate you from others?

Many problems come from the illusion of separation that people have been taught throughout life. Almost from birth, we are introduced to group people and label them based on arbitrary measures. Separation by race, religion, region, economics, or any other action is designed to create an identity, but they only build walls between people. Security is a big reason for this. Where you fit in, you are safe, but later it can be attached to a person’s self-worth and value.  We are not separate; we are connected. The truth is that we are far more connected than we are different. Eliminate the separations between us, and the world will be a much more functional place.

Keep Learning and Growing

The more you learn and understand people, the more difficult it is to 428942_418665911504100_1480841243_nput a fence between you. At our core, we are all the same, and we have a soul, emotions, thoughts, and the capacity to love. Each person is blessed with the same essential functions. In this manner, we are all identical and connected.

Circumstances are different, and it is the circumstances that we tend to focus on. Fear makes people look for differences to make themselves feel more secure, self-assured, or successful. All of this is an illusion. Your success or failure is determined by your thoughts, actions, and perseverance in life. The external factors are arbitrary and have nothing to do with life’s joys or sorrows. We are connected in our humanity, wholly and unquestionably.

Behavior Alone Defines You

It is your behavior that is going to define who you are to yourself and the wayne-dyer-quoteworld. Your words can spin many stories, but your actions tell the truth of what you believe. If you look at the world as separate and look down on people because of broad labels, that shows a lack of growth. Racism is one of these things. Suppose a person judges another based on skin color that clearly defines him and nobody else.  People use the perception of separation to manipulate behavior.

The same can be said for political labels, nationalistic or geographic separations. All of the barriers that we create to separate are built on fear and fear alone. Watch the national media, really watch them. Their message is based almost solely on fear. This message is given to control you. The way you think and the actions of our leaders that you will accept. Listen and learn. Messages of love are accurate; statements of fear are false. Listen to the message.

Fear or Love

Like many things in life, separation comes down to a simple choice between love and fear. Love expands, accepts, understands, and makes f5d22fc753c32bd8a5d6c3491f012f2bthings better, while fear does the opposite, retracts, rejects, judges, and makes things worse. As individuals, we are responsible for our thoughts and our personal growth throughout life. You are not done, at 22 when you graduate college. Learning and growth are lifelong duties.

Some look at the world and see a collection of frightening problems, but others look at the same place and see the beautiful possibilities. Which type of person are you? We are all in this together, and we can spend our time fighting and fretting over our perceived differences. Or we can spend the short time we have in life enjoying our experience and erring on the side of love.

 

 

21

Miserable

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unhappy 1It seems like some people have just decided to be miserable with their lives. There are several sure-fire behaviors that we can all choose which are guaranteed to make you carry a negative attitude in your life, give you less happiness and cause your negative emotions to dominate your days. Practice these things, and you are guaranteed to be unhappy.  Be careful because happiness will always seek a way into your life. We all have an inner desire to find happiness, so if you are not there right now, understand that probably many of these things are being practiced, and it is time you rethink your conscious thought choices.  Do the following things, and you will join the ranks of the negative. Do the opposite, and you will find fulfillment in life.

Be Mean to Others

A great place to start is to make sure that you are mean to other people. Most people are mean and accepting of others because we see faults in them that unhappy 2we see and dislike in ourselves. So look at what you dislike about yourself, recognize it in someone else, and be mean to them. Gossip about them, name call and discriminate if you can.

Never learn to accept your flaws because being mean to others is virtually impossible when this happens. Once you start to show kindness, your urge to be kind will grow. Soon kindness will outshine any mean thought, and you will be accepting of others and yourself. Happiness is an uncontrollable byproduct of this situation, so beware.

Be Selfish

Whatever you do, worry about yourself only. Let’s face unhapy 5it, and you are the only one that matters. Everyone else only matters as much as they contribute to the value of your life. If they can’t help you, forget them and find “friends” who will be able to advance your career and wealth in some way.  Never put another person first or care what makes others happy.

If you should start putting other people first, then your life would quickly become a happy experience. So be vigilant that this never happens. Once a person starts to give to others, it can grow into a habit. Giving is a precursor to receiving, so if you give love, you will also receive it. It is almost impossible to be unhappy when you get kindness and love from others, so be vigilant. Each day is a new opportunity to be kind.

Be Ungrateful

Never be grateful for anything in your life. unhapy 4Gratitude is a compelling thing and can make you smile, feel good, and be uncontrollably happy.

The funny thing is that if you allow a little gratitude for something, it will invite more of that very thing into your life. Soon you will be smiling all the time and happy without even realizing it. So make sure to be ungrateful to maintain a solid level of unhappiness in your life.

Send Hate

For no real reason other than you are completely miserable, send hate out to everyone and everything. That is sure to make you very unhappy. Be careful, though, because there will always be people who are going to want to love you despite all of your flaws.

Love is a potent emotion, and once you start to allow it in your life, it will tend to grow. Soon before you know it, you won’t even be able to fathom how you ever hated anything. You will start to care about people, and happiness will be the unstoppable result. You will send love to all people, and the momentum in your life will be moving toward uncontrollable, unstoppable, and unimaginable happiness.  Who would want that?

Wallow in Self Pity

unhappy 3Finally, one of the best ways to build and maintain unhappiness is to continually feel sorry for yourself and blame all circumstances and other people for any misfortune in your life, real or perceived. Always ask the question, “Why me?” or “Why do these things always happen to me?”. Never accept responsibility for your actions.

Be careful here because once people stop feeling sorry for themselves, they could find uncontrollable happiness in their lives. You will recognize this possibility when you start looking for solutions rather than wallowing in the past or letting challenges overwhelm you.  Once you get past the why me mentality, happiness is easy to attain and hard to get rid of, so be very careful about putting the past behind you. It will make your life better.

Complain……………..A Lot

Nothing makes a person as unhappy as unlimited complaining.  Be unhappy about everything and share it with anyone you come in contact with.  Never let any positive words pass your lips. Even when good things happen, complain about them.  Not only will you be unhappy, but everyone around you will be unhappy too! It is a win-win.

The danger here is that some people will begin to use positive thinking. They will look at the good side of any situation, and that will definitely make them happy. When you speak with positive energy, you spread positive energy. So your positive talk can spread just as quickly as the complaining. Soon everyone you know will be happier, and it will all be your fault. Watch out for positive thinking, and it will make your life a happier experience.

As you can see from these examples that it is easy to make yourself unhappy if you want to. It seems like many people  I run into daily don’t need my advice in this area. Remember, it takes just as much effort to choose to be happy as it does to be unhappy, so choose your actions and thoughts wisely.

 

21

The Liar

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Fear Lies

Fear is a Liar
Don’t Listen to fear

In all that we do and all that we try to accomplish, a person must learn to deal with fear.  Fear comes to you through a voice in your head, warning you to be careful how far you stretch yourself, or to watch out for the things you do, the thoughts you think, and the ideas you express.  This voice in your head discourages you and minimizes your efforts and talents, all in the name of safety and comfort.  One of the most freeing things I have learned is that fear is a liar. It lies to you about almost everything, and choosing fear will lessen your experience and stop you from achieving anything of consequence.

Nothing Great without some Risk

Was anything great ever accomplished without some form of risk? Would a man have walked on the moon if they listened to fear? On a personal level, it is no different. When you are considering a new endeavor, hobby, new job, or even thought, there will always be some level of fear to overcome.

What if you fail?   What if you look bad trying? What if people don’t accept what you are doing? What if?  What if???

Is there a more limiting question that fear provides than what if? It is designed solely to limit our willingness to try and to create doubt about our abilities. The lie that fear tells you is that things will go bad if you pursue a dream or a goal. There will be a risk in anything, but taking action is the most important thing we can do. Fear deters action. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the acceptance of others is all just limits on your potential. Fear is a liar.

Fear is a Liar to Stop you from Taking Action

Fear is a Liar
Face your fears, and they will disappear

If you make an effort to achieve something, can there really be any failure? Taking action is going to create something. There are no guarantees as to what will be created, but something will result from your action. Taking no action will result in absolutely nothing.

Even if the results are not what you had envisioned initially, the result will belong to you, and the results are a known entity.  When you don’t try, you never know what might have happened, and then the question of “What if…..” takes on a haunting meaning. Once you try something, you know of its validity and viability. There is a chance to adjust your sails and make your action more efficient in whatever you are trying to accomplish. Fear of failure will stop you from taking action and stop your success before getting off the ground.

Take Action Above All Else

So when you hear the voices of fear speaking to you, limiting your actions, learn to ignore it and take action anyway. Each action that you decide to take will lead to creating something that didn’t exist before.

Even if your action results in an initial setback, it still provides you with valuable information that you can use to take a more focused action next. As I see it, the only way a well-focused, thought-out action can be a negative is if you choose never to take action at all.

Fear is a liar whose goal is to limit your potential and lessen the experience you have in life. When you hear the voice of fear in your head, tighten your resolve, push ahead and take action anyway. Greatness will never be found by cowering to fear.

21

Something Big

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Without purpose, life is an exercise in existence.  Tasks are completed daily for no other reason than to get to the next day. Some find joy in this, but for me, there has to be a purpose to achieve, a target to be acquired, a goal to be accomplished. It is in the pursuit of accomplishments we find out exactly what we are made of.  To find that holy grail, climb that mountain, sing that song, start that movement, or accomplishing whatever goal lights your fire.  The process is one that we all have to learn from experience to see what works for us. When I was fortunate to reach success, there were a consistent set of influences present.  When a failure has occurred, one or more seem to be absent.  Each of us is an individual, and our stories, beliefs, and needs are different, but these things will only help you.

Build a Solid  Foundation– Not with the goal you pursue, but the one you build in yourself.  Develop honesty, integrity, trust, loyalty, love in yourself for yourself.  Every relationship and experience you experience allows you a chance to become these things. Regardless of your past, you are defined by the actions you take today.  Focus on this and build the foundation for success by making decisions that represent the best of you.  This foundation will not be fancy and isn’t done to make you popular or allow you to brag about your talent or accomplishments. This solid foundation is built in stone and gives you a chance to accomplish anything if you are honing your personal skills and standing for the right things. Honesty, integrity, kindness, gratitude, service, and joy of life seem to be a good place to start.

Commitment– There is a constant and consistent effort needed to move your dream forward to a positive conclusion. There are going to be bumps in the road and challenges to face.  Anything of value comes with challenges attached. That is what gives these things their value. Stick with it through the tough times and keep plugging along toward what you want. The most beautiful, practical, workable philosophy won’t work if you don’t.  Keep taking action toward your goal, and don’t give up.  Be committed. 

Learn the Steps– Goals are not all the same. Some are long-term, some are short-term, and some are intermediate. Learning to break them down into smaller steps and understand what each step means allows you to find meaningful action every day. Nobody goes from beginning to end in one step. It takes several to many steps depending on the size of the thing you want to attain. Be patient with your journey and learn what you need to.  Enjoy the steps, and they are the things you will remember most when success comes your way.

Picture it –  Imagination is not just a tool for daydreaming. It is a tool you can use to bring almost anything into reality.  Imagine your goal as if it is a reality.  See what it looks like, feels like, and picture the world with your goal as a part of it.  All things ever created started this way.  To be an image in someone’s mind brought everything ever created into reality.  Practice using your imagination always; it is a valuable skill that you can lose if you don’t use it. Visualization of something will allow you to bring it into reality, visualize it daily.

Be Accountable- Every day, you have the opportunity to move forward or backward. Only you can be responsible for your actions. If you choose to take a day off, you are accountable for the progress you don’t make on that day. Taking consistent, manageable action every day toward your visualized idea will allow you to move closer to making it a reality.  You are responsible for yourself and the actions you take or don’t take. Remember that nobody else is to blame, only you.  Be accountable to yourself always and accept responsibility for where you are.

Roll With It–  No matter where you are in life, life is always changing. The world around you will always change and forever. Don’t fight it. Go with it always.  It is the difference between positive growth in life and stagnation. Keep moving forward with a positive attitude.  Let go of the things that are outdated and relationships that no longer serve a positive purpose. Change is inevitable and constant, so grow with it.  I know this is easier said than done sometimes, painful experiences are not so easy to roll with, but the choice is yours. Follow the path to success or failure. There is no other direction.

Team Up–  When you set out to accomplish something, it can be an idea in your mind, but it takes others to really make things happen. Build a team that is like-minded, goal-oriented, and change-minded people.  It is going to take support, not fighting to get you to your desired destination. When like minds are employed in a venture, it moves faster, and it is a lot more fun.  Life is a game meant to be played in pairs. Find someone who believes in you and allow them to help you.  Understand what a great gift this is.

Tell Few–  Tell your plans to only those you trust because the first inclination of someone is always to discourage you and tell you what might go wrong or why your dream/goal/desire is unrealistic. Tell only those who will support your efforts. The process is hard enough without hearing negativity from your “support system.”  Better to keep it to yourself. But those of a like mind will support you. Those who care about you and love you will want nothing but the best for you. So tell few and never boast to most.

Write It Down –  Make the goals you are after a checklist and when you can check them off, do it and celebrate the win. No matter how large or small, celebrate it.  Putting it down in ink is a process that will allow the accomplishment to take shape in reality. There is a transformation from thought to reality when you write something down. It starts to become real somehow. Do this to your dreams, and soon they will become a part of your life.

Use Reflection– What you become seeking your goal/destination is far more important than what you get at the end. Skills will be developed that will allow you to achieve other things.  Take time to reflect on all things you do, and ask good questions about what you learned and answer them honestly and completely.  Reflecting on your experience is a powerful teaching tool for yourself.  Never miss a chance to look for personal growth.  Never let a momentary setback be the thing that derails you.  Each “failure” is a gift to accomplishing the ultimate prize. Don’t take failure personally. Take it for what it is, a lesson. Reflect and learn from it, and the perceived weakness of a mistake becomes a strength of your great accomplishments.  Reflect and learn.

There it is,  a simple method for accomplishing success at whatever you are seeking in life. All people have goals at some point. I urge everyone to keep setting them until the day we are no longer a part of this wonderful experience called life.  Whether you follow this process or develop one of your own is not important as long as you find one and know that creation and accomplishment are in your hands.

“You have to remember that the hard days are what make you stronger. The bad days make you realize what a good day is. If you never had any bad days, you would never have that sense of accomplishment!” -Aly Raisman.

“You were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.”- Zig Ziglar.

“Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It’s a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.”- Thomas Carlyle.