Tag Archives: Love

21

What If

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What If…….

what-ifThere are questions we ask ourselves all of our lives that can haunt us if we let them. What if that decision was wrong? What if I shouldn’t have done that? What if I had tried out for the chess team in high school? What if I said yes?

There are a million of these questions that can consume your time. Still, they don’t add up to anything in the end because the fact is whatever you are “what if-ing” about didn’t happen, will never happen, and so should concern you about as much as what the weather was in Borneo in the year 1656.

There are many other what-ifs you can worry about that could make a difference in the world, and I think I would instead focus on those.

What if ………..

kind wordsOne kind word from you could make someone else’s day or even save their life. You never know the storm that is brewing underneath the surface of anyone.

Their surface smile could be hiding a storm of emotions below.  One kind word or gesture could be the human contact they needed to keep moving forward. There are many words we let slide with no thought or regard for their destination and potential impact. Speak as if your words could save a life. What if that were so?

What if………….

gratefulInstead of thinking about the things we don’t have, we spent time being grateful for the things we do have. I have seen people make gratitude lists, and it changes the way they look at the world. Gratitude has the power to transform the way you feel about things.

They do not have to be monumental, giant things, be thankful for the little things.  Being alive, a peanut butter sandwich, coffee, or whatever little things bring you comfort and joy throughout your day.  In most philosophies, gratitude is the key to abundance. What if we all were a bit more grateful?

What if………….

Bring down the barriers that enslave us all freedom is priceless to all creaturesThere were no separations between people. That means that nobody grouped anybody. Instead of being sectioned off because of your age, nationality, economic status, or color of your skin, recognize we are all members of one group, human beings.

When you look for differences among people, you find separation. Separation is the first step toward discrimination because it creates us vs. them mentality. The smaller the circle of us becomes, the more likely we are to have a problem.

This is true for any conflict of every size, including the race riots of the 1960s to economic conflicts of today. What if there were no separations between people, just people?

What if………….

governmentThe people who were elected to represent the people represented the well-being of the people.  In the United States, the government and big business have become synonymous in a definition.

What if that wasn’t the case, and they were focused on helping people who live here as much as they are concerned about helping themselves.

Should any person in our country be hungry? Should any person have to fear suffering from domestic violence? Is there any good reason that the educational system is broken beyond repair? Children treated with kindness and hope would change the world.   What if we had a representative government that represented the people and not big business?

What if………..

urlPeople spent more time using the most potent force in the universe, love. Instead of choosing to participate in activities like gossip, discrimination, judgments of others, or worrying about what is in it for me?  Imagine spending their time focusing on understanding, kindness, acceptance, and what they can do for others.

How different would the lives of every person be if they spent all of their effort on spreading loving-kindness? Hatred can only be defeated by love, not more hate. What if people spent more time thinking and acting with respect?

What if it is a question that we can ask all of the time? Some inquiries can be used to hold us back or be used as a catalyst to find the best in ourselves and others.  

 

 

 

21

Challenges

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What would your life look like if you were more positive in your thoughts?

challengesNo matter how confident and successful you are, life has a way of throwing challenges at you that will push you to make decisions redefining who you are and your substance.  In everyone’s life, there will be events that force a constant expression of this experience and force you to take actions that will bring growth in your life.

In the end, even after facing a challenge,  I like to think that we have found a more galvanized understanding of who we are, and we hold on to this self-image with a more critical and realistic passion. Sometimes the challenges are so overwhelming that it takes quite a bit of time to find your equilibrium and look at things with a more open mind and accepting heart.  Will you find positivity at the end of a challenge in life? Only you can tell that for yourself. I have always thought I would. But recently, my life has taught me many things from challenges. I have experience loss, betrayal, poor judgment and found a perspective of forgiveness and, hopefully, positive growth in all areas of my life because of it.

Being Positive, When the World is Negative

Even though I have spent a lot of time learning about the power of being positive, I know positive thoughts produce positive energy. I have, on positive_redcoccasion, slipped into being judgmental and critical of others for no reason other than because I was experiencing something negative. When you are experiencing fear of any kind and are afraid of your needs not met, this can happen.

Being positive becomes difficult when you look at life and the people in it as things that affect you, rather than seeing them as people who are just doing the best they can to survive day-to-day.  All people have weaknesses, and from time to time, they are annoying and rub you the wrong way.  One of the biggest challenges in life is accepting these negatives and still supporting and highlighting the positives of every individual in your life. The things that annoy us the most are the weaknesses we see in ourselves. We are maintaining a focus on love, understanding, acceptance, and kindness, which can be a challenge, and the reward in accepting others is a better view of ourselves.

It becomes challenging to do this when an atmosphere of negativity engulfs you, focusing on the negative features of things like judgment, sarcasm, and just being plain mean.  That is when you have to work a bit harder to find the positives.  The best way that I have found is to look for the things that are going right and not worry about what is wrong with the job, community, or each other. Especially each other. 

Find Time For You

No matter how busy you think you are or what others believe you should be doing, it would help if you found time dedicated to yourself.  Scheduling this can be a challenge, but vital to allowing person la growth. Rather than get all wrapped up in the daily chores, problems to be solved, and performance, find time for you. Don’t lose your focus on pure kindness and courtesy; people should show one another each day.

One of my favorite ways to maintain a more positive focus is to spend a little time each day learning something new and digesting that information productively and healthily. You are never too old to learn, and growth is a lifelong process.  Learning about yourself makes you less judgmental of others and keeps the focus where it belongs, on your thoughts and ideas. Those who don’t find growth are slowly dying. Finding time to think and put your experiences into perspective will allow your life to have a much more significant flavor. Life is continually trying to teach you lessons. Your reflection is their chance to sink in and make an impact.

Focus Your Energy

All experiences are going to change your life in one way or another.  People often choose to let most of what happens to them be negative and spend time trying to overcome whatever life has given them.

focus expandsI think there is a better way, and that is to remove the labels of good or bad that are associated with experiences and label them all “Experiences.”  Changing our perspective can be difficult when things are personal, but in reality, everything that happens is just an experience that brings something to our lives that we apply value to, good or bad.  We choose to smile and take what we can or to frown and feel overwhelmed by things happening to us. We have a choice.

The choices we make in each moment will determine the path of our day, and our days discover the way of our lives. There are many great things in life we all experience each day, from pleasant weather to a good cup of coffee. We need to notice and appreciate them.  Being grateful for the positives in life will always take the focus and power away from the negatives.

What if you decided to accept everything that happens to you as if you chose it? 

What you spend your time and effort focusing on in your life will increase.

“Keep your face to the sunshine, and you cannot see a shadow.” — Helen Keller.

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” — Willie Nelson.

“Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.” — Lyndon B. Johnson.

“In order to carry a positive action, we must develop here a positive vision.” 

 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!!!

21

How You Look At It

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Interesting Point of View
Interesting Point of View

What are you sure of in life? What philosophy can you stand behind and not shy away from because you know its validity? We all have some non-negotiable items in this cache. The sun will rise; the sun will set. Life is fleeting. It would help if you worked hard to be successful. The government is looking out for your best interest. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. Many points of view are considered by people constant, unshakable, and permanent fixtures in life and creators of our reality. Yet, they are only new points of view that you can choose to believe or discard as you see fit.

Our thoughts on things have power. How we perceive is essential to the reality that we experience every day.  But let’s look at the interesting points of view, which are not factual in any way but held onto by people just as if they are.  You probably have a few. There are two main areas we all stay strong emotional points of view, love and money. The majority of our time is spent dealing with these two issues. Getting enough money to experience the life we want and finding someone to love us for it.

Money Matters

When it comes to money, we are all carrying points of view developed when we are young. Our

How you look at things determines their reality
How you look at things determines their reality

parent’s attitude toward money will go a long way in establishing our personal beliefs about money. Some believe it is hard to get; some believe it makes you greedy to have a lot. Some think that money is going to solve all their problems. It doesn’t matter what you think about it; all of these things are simply thoughts in your head and not reality. It is just as easy to believe that money is an energy that can be attracted to me quickly. Or Money comes easily, and I always have more than enough.  What you choose to believe is going to determine the reality of your financial situation.  Any point of view can be changed, at any time, instantly.

I Love You

Love is a topic that takes up a lot of time in life. We have even more points of view when it comes to experiences love in life. I think that it is because we all have experiences in this area, and the collective pain and pleasure of those experiences have combined to contribute to our feelings of love. Yet, it seems pov-different-exercisethat most of us have thought wrong about what love is. We are looking for someone who fits our point of view of love.   I don’t deserve love. Love is difficult to find. Love never lasts. Nobody could love me. On and on we go and put our points of view about love out there.  A point of view is just a thought, and thoughts can be changed instantly, today, right now.

The actual definition of what it means to love will be different for everyone based on their experiences. When I say I love you, what does that mean? Does it mean a commitment for a lifetime or a week? It depends on the person. This understanding implies that clear explanations of your perspective about that emotion will lead to many fewer problems.

Since Point of View is a Choice, Choose a Good One

There are many different philosophies on beliefs and how to change them. Still, the bottom line is that if you are carrying a negative, limiting knowledge about anything, it affects your life.  The first step is to recognize the shortcoming, and the second is to change that belief into an interesting point of view that will be more beneficial to your life and happiness.

Change is constant and continuous in life; we are all changing physically and mentally every day. You can move these changes in any direction that you choose. It all depends on which interesting points of view you decide to entertain. Since it is all a choice, decide to hold onto points of view that will make you happy and pursue those.

21

Think

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We think all the time! From the moment you wake up to the second your slip back into sleep at night, our minds are a thought creation machine. Smarter people than me estimate we are producing somewhere around 70,000 thoughts per day. The other shoe that must drop on this amazing statistic is that 95% of those thoughts are repeats and totally unoriginal footprints left from days before.  That leaves about 5% of original powerful thoughts to create in your day.  And there is more.  The tenor of your predominant thought patterns, either positive or negative, will determine how things are playing out in your life for you.  It is not what happens to you that matters but how you choose to think about them.  Remember this as we delve into the ideas I am thinking about today.   Think about it.

Thoughts  Lead to Happiness or Not

We think so much that you would be more aware of the thoughts we create and how they affect our lives, but we don’t, and those thoughts control the enjoyment and even success in life we experience. Thoughts that are positive in nature lead to how much you choose to enjoy life.  Those who are of a negative nature lead to the opposite of enjoyment. If you let your thoughts move unchecked through your existence, then your mood will change at the whim of random thoughts, which can easily be manipulated by someone else.

We live in a society that constantly bombards you with negative messages, so it is no wonder that the mind will produce a virtually nonstop stream of negativity left to its default state.  About other people, situations, and of course yourself and how you don’t measure up.  The greatest hope is that in all of our thoughts, we have a choice if we allow them to hook into our consciousness or not.  We can even create our own positive thoughts to buy into if we choose to.  Conscious creation of positive thoughts is the difference between the happy and the sad, and even the successful and unsuccessful in life.

All Things are Twice Created

Everything ever in existence was created twice. The first creation is in one’s mind as a thought.  The second is when forces combine to make that imagined thing a reality. It is true for every building, car, road, or stick of furniture around you.  All of them were once just a thought in the mind of someone, and only through action and pursuit of that dream were created in reality before you.  Can it be that much of a stretch to think the same is true about your health? Your financial well being? Or any other aspect of your existence.

Look at your reality today, and then follow your thoughts about that area of your life.  If you are not happy with your current financial situation or relationship situation, then it is time to examine and consider changing the way you think.  Choosing the thoughts about the way you want things to be like is the first creation. The second will come as you pursue those things in your life.  Of course, you have the choice to stay with the thoughts you have carried your whole life, but you can’t be surprised when those thoughts deposit you right back where you are now, in the same situations not making you happy. Choose to create the things that will make you happy with your thoughts.

It Can Change in an Instant

The great thing about refocusing your thoughts is it doesn’t require a long, drawn-out process to accomplish. You have to start to create a focus around the things you are thinking.  What are the negative thoughts you believe about yourself? Money? Success? Love? Whatever?  We predominantly think the thoughts are based on the programming we received when we were very young children, trying to figure out how to survive and thrive in this world.  The things which were true for us then clearly, at the very least, are no longer applicable today. At the most, they are inaccurate and faulty programming we accept as true without question.

Look at the thoughts you believe in and challenge them.  The worst thing that will happen is you will know some beliefs you want to hang on to. But the best thing will be that you will edit or remove faulty thinking from your reality.  Success, money, love, or anything else are available for everyone, and our thoughts are the place we need to start to take control of our own reality.  The alternative is to believe you are operating at the will of every other force in the world. You are not. Each of us has the ability to be a unique and powerful creator in this world.

 “If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” Anonymous

 “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” Norman Vincent Peale

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” Willie Nelson

 “Every thought we think is creating our future.” Louise Hay

“Begin to believe in the power of your thoughts.” Anonymous

“Thoughts have energy. Make sure your thoughts are positive and powerful.” Anonymous

 

20

Escaping

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Many of us exist in prisons of our own making that stop us from expeiencing life fully
Many of us exist in prisons of our own making that stop us from experiencing life fully. Escape!

Escape-break free from confinement or control.

Are you living life in the way you really want? Do you say everything you would like to? Or do you hold back your real thoughts because of a fear what you really think will cause suffering for you? If you are not confident enough in your ideas to speak to them without fear, you are living in prison.  If you don’t do exactly what you want because you are afraid of what others will think, you are being confined. I believe that for much of my life, I have been in a detention cell of my own making, and it is time to organize a prison break. To escape the cage, we need to assess the limitations we are placing on ourselves honestly.  It begins by examining your thoughts, building your prison walls. The resulting emotions that punish or reward you. The words you speak to express and describe your situation And, of course, the actions you take to escape or remain in confinement.

The Choice of Fear

One of the greatest prisons I have experienced is the prison 2prison of fear. This is a large prison because it contains inmates from all over the world and of all social classes. Fear finds a way to grab hold of us wherever it can. There is no way to avoid it. There is something that we are afraid of and don’t want to experience. This fear can affect the behavior of everyone, and it positively has affected my life in negative ways. For many years I looked at many fears as common sense, but fear is the opposite choice of love. Without love, all of the positive things are removed from your experience.

It has become evident to me as I have grown older that each decision that I make is a constant choice between love (positive for us, growth, understanding, caring) or fear (worry, misunderstanding, judgment, or even hate).   Each thought that you entertain is going to lead you into a prison of expectation and attachment or toward a life of freedom and acceptance of yourself and your actions. That choice is up to you.

The prison of fear is like many others that we create ourselves in our existence. Self-made with no need for guards. Fear will keep you nestled snugly inside your cell at the appropriate time. Not realizing that you are being confined, and you will often feel like things are going just the way they should be. An excellent system for the warden! When you have the most in life, there is always the fear of losing it.

Your identity and accomplishments are exactly what society told you to aspire to.  There is no way that a person solidly bound to the ground can ever reach great heights. Fear will keep you from reaching, stretching, or looking for something new. The comfort zone is the home base of fear, and there is nothing new that will result from it. So either you will atrophy where you are, but more likely, you will shrink backward. Into your cell, comfortably watching mindless entertainment, and thinking very little. With little thought comes small growth, and without increase comes death.  I had met many people who had died long before their lives ended.  I am inspired not to be one of them. I look to escape that fate of fear and mediocrity.

Social Anxiety

There is an ailment that affects people called social anxiety. This is a prison that makes interacting social-anxietywith others a terrifying experience. I paid a visit to this prison, and it is an all-encompassing confinement experience.  To me, it was an unspoken fear about what other people might think about me. Thoughts are created in an active imagination to bind you where you are. In my case, I was surprised, in the end, to learn how little people thought of me at all.  This can keep you from

Hopefully one day we will all fly free.........
Hopefully, one day we will all fly free………

venturing out and experiencing all that life has to offer. New experiences that you might need to grow and become the best that you can be.

All of us have the danger of falling into a prison of our own making if we don’t continue to look for areas in which we need to grow.  Growth and new experiences always remind us about our ability to be free and to make choices that are ours alone and will lead to the path of our life.

The new meanings that we discover in relationships work or hobbies remind a person how good and joyous life can be if you embrace it.  Move out of your comfort zone just a little bit and see what treasures you will find. Plan your escape from whatever prison has you in its grips.  The key exists in your thoughts and mind.

Escape Today, Right Now

Looking at the limits I experience every day, it is evident most have been created by my number one enemy, my arch-villain. This person continually hurts and takes away my value,  myself.  I have chosen the limits in my life. The chains were created link by link in the thoughts I have in my mind.  Thoughts of fear, not being good enough, or loveable.  All of these were first created with good intentions of self-protection, but they grew little by little, each day. Almost imperceptibly, they succeeded, until walls were all around me.  Escape is difficult and treacherous. But flight is possible and necessary for growth and success in life.

I believe I can escape my confinements at this very moment, and that being the case, what can I do today that will lead me to growth outside of my comfort zone and the personal freedom that I am looking for?  It all starts with a close examination of my thoughts I am entertaining, the resulting emotions, the words I speak, and the actions I take today!  My escape begins within the walls of my mind.

“Escape loneliness whenever you can. Life is a game best played in pairs.”

“I feel like life is short, and it’s important to enjoy yourself and embrace whatever comes your way, whether it’s a challenging day or a great day, just welcome it with open arms. No matter who you are, you can’t escape challenges; they are part of life.”—- Miranda Kerr

“No one can live without relationship. You may withdraw into the mountains, become a monk, a sannyasi, wander off into the desert by yourself, but you are related. You cannot escape from that absolute fact. You cannot exist in isolation.” — Jiddu Krishnamurti

“No one can live without relationship. You may withdraw into the mountains, become a monk, a sannyasi, wander off into the desert by yourself, but you are related. You cannot escape from that absolute fact. You cannot exist in isolation.”– Jiddu Krishnamurti

“Anyone who looks or listens will experience the full measure of their truths–the sun’s faith in the sanctity of cycles, the rabbit’s dedication to the purity of the present moment, and the bird’s reminder that every soul is as free as it believes itself to be. I filled my mind with their wisdoms and carried the inspiration with me–down the pathway, past the guards, through the gates, and into my prison cell…”  – Rara

 

 

Life

My Notes on The Four Agreements

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The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a book I read years ago, and I just came across my reading notes. I thought they were worth sharing. Each of us has to agree with the truth of a thought before it can affect us. Once we do accept, that thought will affect our lives positively or negatively until you choose to change it.  The book talks about fear and how fear dictates what we do, and what parts of ourselves we show to others.  The four agreements are the ones we should seek to create in our minds. Interesting thoughts.

Agreement #1 Be Impeccable with Your Word

Your words contain magic in them and the power to make your life like heaven or like hell. The magic that you wield through your words is either light or dark- a blessing or cursing yourself and others. Too many of our bad agreements about life were planted by the callousness of the words of others. And even sometimes our own.  We are all connected as one.

Agreement #2 Don’t Take Anything Personally-

All the people are living in our dream. You are but a bit part in another person’s vision. Most of what people say and do is because of their lives, NOT due to you, your value, or behavior. The best action is to stay away from the insult or adverse response. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

Agreement #3  Don’t Make Assumptions-

 

All assumptions are fantasies made in your mind about the behavior of others. See yourself reflected in the faces of others. Deal with the facts using the pure nature of your words and that of others. Truth is desired; fiction can be left behind.

 

Agreement #4

– Always Do Your Best

A simple thought can change your life negatively or positively. In each activity, each day, in every moment, simply trying to do your best is all anyone can do. If you continually strive to accomplish your highest achievement: you will embody your best to all.

Other Key Thoughts from Notes:

 

-Be who you are NO matter what someone says about you, or whatever they do, don’t take their words personally, and it doesn’t hurt anymore.  You will no longer be afraid to love, to share, or to open your heart.  NO ONE ELSE IS LIKE YOU!!

-Most people are emotionally wound

ed and sick with fear. All people carry wounds in their minds, which are open and hurting. They make us afraid to be who we are.

-Shyness is a fear of expressing yourself, and you may believe you don’t know how to sing or how to dance, but this is just repression of the healthy human instinct to express love.

-We are born into this society, grow up in it, and we are condemned to be like everyone else in it. Playing nonsense all the time.

-Fear leads to injustice- we become full of emotional poison, which eventually we have to release in some manner. Telling someone how bad they are or about all of their perceived flaws. These actions allow the poison to move from one person to another.

-Love is not about concepts: Love is about action.  To practice love is the only way to master it.

-Bad, complicated, unhealthy relationships are based on fear, drama, and the war for control.  The battle for control = no respect and selfishness, not love. “I have to control you because I don’t respect you. I have to be responsible for you because whatever happens to you is going to hurt, and I want to avoid pain.

-Team players play together but not against each other, and you are playing because you want to have fun.

-Track of love- you are giving more than you are taking. You love yourself enough not to allow selfish people take advantage of you.

  • Everyone dreams of their dream. You can control your half but nothing else. Or partner in a relationship is responsible for their half.
  • Know what love is and what is fear: you become aware of how you communicate your dream. The choices you make in each moment determines the quality of your communication. Just by catching the awareness of the track of fear, you can change it. Merely changing your attention can change your world.
  • Love and happiness come out of you. There is no dependence on anyone else for feeling this way.

This book allowed me to look at my dream and how I was not myself in some ways. Following the four agreements can give you freedom. Just the fact that most people are not treating you a certain way because of you, but because of them has been great for my personal growth. It is being a better communicator to other people, not assuming and asking questions and being impeccable with my word and honest with all, and doing my best. The level of my best can change from day today, but I try to give it all, whatever that tends to be on that day.  I recommend this book to anyone who is seeking personal growth and understanding.

Quotes from the Four Agreements

“To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we are. Just being ourselves is the biggest fear of humans.”

“We don’t see the truth because we are blind. What blinds us are all those false beliefs we have in our mind. We have the need to be right and to make others wrong. We trust what we believe, and our beliefs set us up for suffering. It as if we live in the middle of a fog that doesn’t let us see any further than our own nose. We live in a fog that is not even real. This fog is a dream, your personal dream of life — what you believe, all the concepts you have about who your are, all the agreements you have made with others, with yourself, and even with God.”

“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their on mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in.”1

“The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.”

“All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally.”

 

Personal Development

The Year I Learned to Write

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 What can you do today that you were not capable of a few years ago?

Capable

When I think back to where exactly I was 365 days ago, it never ceases to amaze me the jagged artwork that change has woven into the tapestry of my life.  Each seemingly unconnected event has worked to put me exactly where I am supposed to be.

Many philosophies support the idea of a preconceived plan for everyone. I am not sure about that yet, but sometimes it seems like things fall into place in ways that you would never believe. So here are some of the things that I can do today that I was not capable of a few years ago.

Blogging

blog-cartoonThe first and most obvious is blogging. I had heard of it a year ago but had no conception of what a community stood behind WordPress.

 It was really an accident I ever found out about it at all. Or was it?  I had written a bit on my website but never participated in blogging.

 I was too busy or too afraid or both to write on a regular basis and then kind of call attention to it.  Reading other people’s thoughts and commenting on them.

 It is like reading a book and being able to initiate conversation with the author as you move through it.  I love that type of interaction. I encourage it and try hard to be grateful for each comment I get.  This has been a life changer and 365 days ago I was incapable of doing this.

Writing What I Think

For those who don't know this is a typewriter, it is a keyboard with no computer.
For those who don’t know this is a typewriter, it is a keyboard with no computer.

There was a time not that long ago when I wouldn’t dare to write something that I really thought down anywhere, let alone on a public blog.  I had many negative voices in my head telling me: Nobody cares what you think.  That makes no sense. You are the only one in the world who believes that.  Nobody could possibly understand that.   As you can see, I was a bundle of confidence when it came to writing.  It was as if the Universe were conspiring to push me into writing about my thoughts.  It started with freelance writing, which forced me to write a large quantity of posts last summer in a relatively short amount of time.  This forced me to publish many things anonymously which I found to be quite liberating. It removed the negative voices completely and I could look at my writing from a pretty unemotional and detached view.  Then after the summer I moved to a newer phase of writing at the urging of a friend I started to write about the things I thought about.   Like taking the smallest snowball and rolling it through the snow, I took my ideas and started to craft my thoughts into posts for my website.  It started with a project and ended with me becoming involved in the world of WordPress. A year ago I was incapable of writing this post it has been an expressive year.

Being a Coffee Shop Author

Any old coffee shop will do I hope I see you there!!
Any old coffee shop will do I hope I see you there!!

One of the best parts of writing for me is that some of the best thoughts I have are written in coffee shops and I was fortunate through fate to visit a number of them all over New England over that past year.

A year ago I might have felt awkward, and self-conscious about sitting and writing in a nice coffee shop. Today, all I need is electricity and the internet and I can write quite easily and comfortably.

This transformation was by necessity so I started to get used to going into new cities and towns and finding a place that offered free wi-fi and then writing my mind out.  It made me a bit of money but more importantly it allowed me to improve my writing and gave me many great ideas about topics I should be writing about.

I have my favorite chains of coffee shop to write in and it would be difficult to choose just one.  Coffee shop chains are designed to handle the writing kind.  Individually owned coffee shops are too worried about the space you are consuming to cater to you.  A year ago I never would have known this or cared. I can write in almost any Tim Horton’s, Starbucks, or Dunkin Donuts in the world.

 

Enjoying the Moment and Going with the Flow

marjorie-ray-hinckley-quote-about-enjoying-lifeI have been working on this for several years, but in the last year I have put it into practice as often as I can.  I have a good friend to thank for this because hanging around with them you never knew from one day to the next what was going to happen.  It allowed me to enjoy the moment that was happening right now.  The moment may be gone in an instant.  There was also an acceptance of whatever came and enjoying it no matter what. Or at least appreciating the experience even if it wasn’t the greatest and most fun.   Most things however can be enjoyed, and a year ago I wouldn’t have been capable of enjoying them.  The difference was that I learned to let go of what I thought should be happening and accept what was happening.   This was definitely not an easy process and I still work on it today, but a year ago, I was not even close to this.

 

Gratitude is the Attitude

gratitude-journa&#1I have written about this before but it is true, that adopting an attitude of gratitude and experiencing heart-felt gratitude for what you do have, rather than focusing and feeling bad about what you don’t have is a pathway to not only enjoying life but to having more of the things you like in it.

I have been true to my gratitude journal since I first wrote about it and there have been things happening that I never would have thought of.  I believe that positive energy we create translates to others and makes all experiences better.  This begins for me with gratitude for all that is happening in my life.  I never would have tried to keep a journal about it a year ago, or to share that I did this as well.  You can be critical all that you want, but if you are that way, you probably are more worried about what you don’t have than what you do.  I am glad I am not in that frame of mind anymore, this year has allowed that to disappear.

 

I could continue to write a small book about this topic and I am sure that I am not uniques in this.  A year is a long period of time for some and a short period of time for others but we all experience changes every year of our lives.  I hope that I notice and enjoy all of the changes that come my way in the year to come.

 What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?

Day 10

Who knows what this next trip around the sun will bring.

 

 

My Stories

David’s Dead

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Part 1

David’s Dead

The anticipation of the voice at the other end of the line was immediately crushed as I heard the words, “David’s dead”.  They were flatly spoken and yet the emotion behind them was calling for help.  I had just turned 18 and was dealing with the end of high school, baseball season, a new relationship and looking forward to the rest of my life, but the largest lesson was taught to me with those words, ringing through the telephone.  Paul was dead and my life would never be the same.

huey-lewis-and-the-news-the-power-of-love-1985-4Kristie and I had been classmates all through high school and knew each other in passing. We really didn’t have a lot in common, she was very intelligent, and I was limited in the academic performance that was expected of me.  She had just been accepted to attend Cornell University in the fall and I would be heading to a technical college.  We just traveled in different circles.  But as life will often do we noticed each other one day.  In fact one of the first things I said to her directly was to ask Kristie if she would go to the prom with me.  I was as smooth as sand paper and as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs but she said yes and that was the beginning of the most important experience in my young life.

As we spent time together it began clear to me that I must have been a total idiot to have missed this charming, beautiful and kind person for almost four years.  It was April and I was having the best conversation of my life.  It was the kind of talk that makes you not want it to end. There were no lulls and each revelation revealed was understood.  I have experienced others which were as good, but honestly none that were any better than talking to Kristie Falls in April of 1985.  I have no recollection of the topic of the conversation just that I looked into her blue eyes and was lost.  I was quickly realizing that I had never been in love before.

It wasn’t long before I was spending all of my time looking for opportunities to spend time with her and we quickly became inseparable. It was the second week of April and we were on the cusp of April vacation, the last blast of freedom before the final quick sprint to graduation and moving on with our lives. The first Saturday night of vacation was the first chance for us to get together and for us to go out with all of our friends. The culture of the time, there were parties at different places, someone’s house if their parents were gone or if not, then at a local beach, or secluded pit.  Needless to say the first Saturday of vacation was a good enough reason for most people in Maine to let loose.  And there were several different parties scheduled for that night.  I would have never imagined that the events of that evening April 13th, 1985 would be permanently embedded in my memory almost thirty years later.

This story is based on real events, the names have been changed, but the events are real. I hope you enjoy part 1.

Poetry

The Journey Dark and Light

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by Jonathan Hilton

Sea StormI was looking for myself,

But what I found was you.

Dark journeys I have traveled alone,

but light was just a momentary thought away.

The negative propagation that overwhelms,

replaced by sunlight and sea breeze laughter.

Much as the winter is killed by the spring,

the reality of missing pieces, stands out brightly.

Incomplet and utter dark night,

combined with twin bright flashes of starlight.

star oceanTwisting me ever forward, toward light perfection,

resistance is gone, I am resigned to the fate.

Walk, run, crawl, faster, quicker,

don’t miss another second of the twist of life.

It is not a completely forever conversation,

life is a combination of pain and love.

It will be over before you ever realize,

grasp a hold of it and ride, as if you had a choice.

This song was the theme to Friday Night Lights but it is called, Your Hand In Mine, sets the mood for this I think.

Articles

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

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Love this Card featured on the Simpson's
Love this Card featured on the Simpson’s

So here it is Valentine’s Day.  I initially was going to rant about how this day is not about love and only about how much money a person has to spend to adequately show their love to another.  That this isn’t actually a holiday at all, but a manufactured event of greeting card companies to sell more greeting cards between Christmas and Easter.  But that is just being miserable for the sake of being miserable so I decided to focus on what the focus should be on this day, LOVE.

Love Has Everything to Do With It

When I heard the word love, for much of my life I thought about the romantic emotion of love. However love is more than just an emotion that you feel when you are around someone you care about, it is a force that can help make your life and those of others better each and every day.  Love is the fertile soil from which kindness, charity, acceptance, understand all grow out of.

Kindness Counts Today

Good enough for Superman, Good enough for me
Best Valentine EVER!

Kindness seems to me to be one of the things that we should be focusing on every Valentine’s Day. There are opportunities in each of our lives to just show a little kindness to another person.  It doesn’t cost a dime to be kind to anyone. So the next time you interact with someone, be it, someone, you have known your whole life or a complete stranger, just approach them with kindness and not only will they feel better about the world and themselves but you will too.

Patience is definitely a Virtue

Another branch of the plant of love is patience.  When you get frustrated it is usually because you are not focused on the here strongmanand now but because you are thinking about what might not happen in the future if something goes wrong.  Being patient is simply recognizing any moment for what it is.  A line is long because it is long, not for the sole purpose of messing up your day.  A person who makes a mistake that you think could have been avoided is more than likely doing their best, and a little guidance from someone else might be all they need to be more productive and to have a better day.  The point is that it doesn’t matter if you’re dealing with a teller at a bank, your kids or your spouse, practice patience and understanding over being impatient and mean and you and those around you will see the world in a much brighter light.

It’s What You Give That You Get

The rules of life are mysterious and nobody knows them for sure, we take guesses based on experience but there is no rule book to guide you.  One thing that I have found to be true is that what you give in life, most often you get back.  If your focus is on solely meeting your needs, then you are probably going to be surrounded by people who are solely focused on their needs.  The same is true for love if you are focused on making sure those you care about are having their needs met, then you are going to find that others are looking out for yours.  It is what you give that you get, for the most part in my experience.

Love Stinks When You Lose Your Focus

Valentines

If you have ever been in love, you know that it is the greatest feeling in all of the world. To care about someone so much and know they care about you.  It is so great that often times we lose our focus on the love and focus on the fear of losing it.

This is what happens when jealousy enters the picture.  Jealousy is a powerful manifestation of fear and can work to not only destroy a loving relationship but rob you of any enjoyment that relationship might bring you.  Fear of losing the love that means so much to you is a recipe to lose everything you have.  That is my experience that fear is the destroyer of relationships and needs to be discarded on a regular basis. Focus on the things that you love and they will be accentuated.

So I hope that all of you people who love this day have a great time today. Those of you who dislike this day because of the fact that it is over commercialized foolishness, trying to make money off of the purest emotion in the world, I wish you the biggest and best Valentine’s Day you have ever had.  You deserve it.