Tag Archives: overcoming disappointment

22

Are You Embracing Life?

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Where there is breathe, there is hope!!

The human experience is known for bringing a broad mix of experiences to your table. Some are difficult and change you and your perspective from the core. When someone else’s actions hurt you, it can be the most challenging thing to accept and keep moving forward. When you feel someone violated your trust, lied to you, or the way you saw things turned out to be untrue. Pain is the result, and these painful things lead us to question everything about our existence and self-worth.

There are dark days in every life, and it is reasonable to spend some time in self-contemplation about how we live and where we fit into the larger scheme of things. It is in these moments some people lose themselves. Recently finding myself in such a situation makes me remember times when I was lost before and managed to find a way through life’s challenges. We all have choices, and embracing who we are on the inside and looking to express that to the world is the most dramatic and worthwhile direction you can go. I am alive and still kicking and searching for the best expression of myself. Regardless of the value, anyone else sees in me. That is the last year’s lesson, and I am sharing ie with you.

Life Smacks You

I am not telling any of you anything new. We learn young; not everything works out as we hope. We build attachments to how we wish things would go, and circumstances combine to make events something else. Other people make choices and take actions we would rather avoid. We have no control over what other people do. The only thing we can control is our reactions. We can change what we are experiencing, accept them, or leave them. Life has presented a lot of unpleasant into

life smacks you
How you react is always your choice

my life over the past year. It is an easy way to blame someone else. My pain and loss are my faults because I believed the wrong person and accepted someone at face value when they were something other than what they portrayed.

My loss was devastating in a way I hadn’t felt in years, and it served as a reminder to understand other people better. Listen to what others are saying or not saying about who they are and life. People who say selfish things and live selfish lives are probably selfish. People who treat you like they don’t care about you don’t. That should be a notice to get as far away from those people as possible. Life is hard enough when your circle is cheering for you each step of the way, let alone when they have no belief in your value. That is a hard slap of reality because it makes you question your judgment about every aspect of your life. But if you never wonder what you are doing, you will never make the needed changes to become a better person and contribute to the world.

Remember, Life is a Short Game

Once you start to work through the pain of having a dream shattered or the loss of someone valuable to you, there is a tunnel you will emerge out of to find life is still moving along, and the harsh reality is this journey is a relatively short one. You only have a finite amount of time to play your dreams out, so time is not something you want to waste contemplating past regrets. It is what it is, and ruminating over it won’t change it. The people who hurt you have hurt you, and nothing will replace it. Time to move forward and take control of your own life and the things you experience for the rest of your time.

If you let your routines run your life and accept where you are, pretty soon, ten years are going to be gone, and you are going to be left wondering what you might have been able to accomplish if you had taken that chance, tried that thing, sang that song, published that book or just plain old followed that dream. You realize you are still alive and kicking. Where there is life, there is possibility. Exactly what opportunity means depends on your courage to overcome your past pains and attempt to find the best version of yourself. It is there waiting patiently inside of us all.

No Regrets

Take some time today, contemplate what you want to accomplish, and take the chance to make it a part of today. Learn what you need to know, try what you need to try, but most importantly, live your life without fear. Fear will limit your potential and stop you from doing what you want and learning to understand yourself. What makes you feel whole may be something you have never done. The place you feel most at home, maybe somewhere you have never been to.

Each day we have a chance to reset our goals and take the most minor, minute steps toward finding our best selves.   The most significant limit we face is the imaginary line of fear we have drawn around ourselves, which we dare not cross because of what might happen. We know what will happen if you fail to cross the line, nothing. That is the thing that will leave you with a blanket of regret. Years from now, do you want to look back and see all the changes you didn’t take and wonder what you might have accomplished if you just dared to try? Those are the biggest regrets I see in life and the ones I want to avoid. We have great possibilities in our lives. As long as we remember, we are still alive and kicking. Anything can indeed happen.

“Do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.” —Babe Ruth

“Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.” —Bear Grylls

“Nothing is to be feared; it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” —Marie Curie

 

22

Our Dashed Hopes and Expectations

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Disappointment – the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.

Things sometimes don’t work out the way you planned. Events occur in our lives, building up high expectations of what might happen, and when they come crumbling down and don’t work out the way you thought they might. Like many things, we have no control over some of the challenges we face, and we only have control over how we react to it. Disappointment is a part of life, and positive learning to deal with it is part of being a healthy, well-adjusted human being. It all starts with your thoughts, words, and actions around every disappointment you face.

Origin of Disappointments

Being disappointed comes when things don’t live up to our expectations. We all build attachments to scenarios we would like to see. When those things don’t happen the way we envisioned, our accessories are broken, disturbing, and upsetting. In our minds, this is a loss of something that we had already created through hope. A new job you were sure you would get, or the relationship you knew would never end, they disappear, and you are left with the pangs of disappointment. It has been happening this way throughout our lives, and we have learned to build up a system of protection against a blow.

It could have been something your parents did or something that happened in school or life somewhere, but when you were a kid, at some point, you got your hopes up and built attachments to the outcome you wished to see and were disappointed by the result. This disappointment caused you to build defenses against getting your expectations up or always expecting the worst. That way, you could never be let down, only pleasantly surprised if things worked out. You can answer honestly if this is still a pattern in your life now. Fear of being hurt, we never believe great things can happen. But they certainly can, if we can move past the attachment to something outside of us and look at the great things inside us.

Overcoming Disappointment

Life is an inconsistent experience. It loves you one minute and leaves you locked outside in the rain the next. We need to look for the hidden opportunities that come our way when things don’t work out the way we think or hope they should. For example, you apply for a job you think is perfect for you and give you all of the things you are looking for. You start building scenarios in your mind about it, and soon your attachments have you thinking it is your destiny and the most desirable outcome for you. Then you find out you don’t get the job.

The reasons you don’t get the job could have nothing to do with you. Somebody knew somebody. They were more experienced. They wanted someone older or younger or taller or from a different country. Whatever the reason, we often get so disappointed with not getting the job that we don’t see the opportunity sitting there. Now you can move on to find the place you do belong to. You may look somewhere else you would never have thought of, and in that place may lie your destiny. There is no sense of feeling bad for too long. Life is going to go on and give you the experiences you need. Learn your lessons, and keep looking for opportunities. They are always there waiting for you.

Don’t take things like this personally when they have very little to do with who you are.

Experience

The result of facing and overcoming disappointments in life is where experience comes from. Life is a game, and it continually puts you through situations to make you better at playing it. In the words of the Rolling Stones, “You can’t always get what you want, but you can get what you need.”  Most times, we are not the judge of what we need, and we will take the easy way, even though the more difficult choice may be best for our long-term wellness.

Some look at challenges as punishment and wallow in their disappointment. But those who find success are the ones who see the problem as an opportunity to grow, follow, and become the best version of themselves we should all be striving to become.

It will all begin with an increased awareness of our thoughts, words, and actions around the disappointments we face in life. Look for the opportunity for growth, and don’t take it personally. You can only control what you think, say, and do. Other people’s choices and actions are theirs. Let them deal with the result of not hiring the best person in the world for their job.

“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”~  Eliza Tabor 

“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” ~ Unknown