We are all carrying around broken pieces of ourselves because to experience life is to experience growth, and sometimes when we grow, it causes us to break a little on the inside.  These breaks come from significant, visible events of loss, like death, heartbreak, or physical trauma, but more often, these breaks are personal, and the loss and pain are known only to us. Each time, we experienced failure, loss, sadness, abuse, neglect, heartbreak, and fear.  It is up to each person to decide if they will put the pieces back together, hide them, or live with them the way they are. Each painful shard of our former selves or what we perceived ourselves to be is digging into our daily experience — a constant reminder of the pain of loss we just experienced.

Each of us learns to deal with our broken pieces in our own way. Most of the time, we gloss over them, hide them, and pretend we are ok with everything. Until they become too much and come tumbling out in a manner, we have no choice but to address them. One of the things we can do is be conscious of our thoughts, the emotions attached to them, the words we speak because we have been broken, and the actions we take, good or bad, because of it.

We are all Broken

The positive aspect of this situation is that all people, in one way or another, are broken. Being broken isn’t necessarily a negative thing; it is just a fact. It is how we choose to react that matters. When you look at others and their behavior, understanding that most of it comes from the experience of being broken by emotional pain or the fear of the pain of that experience becomes more understandable.

That doesn’t excuse poor behavior in any way. Action has its reward or punishment, but you can find more understanding of others when you realize they are just dealing with their broken pieces caused by the emotional distress in their past.

We are all living with this pain in one form or another.

There is a Lesson

Growth is a constant opportunity, and it seems that life will push you along the road of change, whether you want it or not.  Unfortunately, to become more complex, we have to grow from who we were to who we want to be, which is why we break.  It isn’t fair, kind, or pleasant in many cases; the trauma that breaks us can be horrific, and there may seem no lesson at all. Or if there is one where the price of learning is far too high.  Yet, here we are, and we have no choice in the situation at all. We only have a choice over the actions and growth or lack which results.

Every day, some people experience trauma.  It can destroy them. Only with time can the actual value of any situation be accepted, and the positive resulting from a tragedy may be revealed if you take the time to look for it.

That doesn’t mean we should all seek out painful situations, but it isn’t the end of you if you experience one. Whether you like it or not, it is a new beginning for you.  At some point in the healing process, you have to make a conscious choice to move forward or give up, which is your decision. Nobody can heal you with good intentions or kind words, and only you choose to see the value in yourself and the gift you have to contribute to the world.

Soft Eyes

I no longer judge people like I did when I was younger. I have been broken too often and have become adept at covering it up and surviving on my smile.  I know that in each person, there resides a version of me. If I had experienced those things, where would I be? I don’t look at people with hard eyes and judge where they are because it provides no value. Understanding offers value, and knowing that we are all in the same is somewhat comforting. To access comfort comes from looking outside of ourselves and recognizing the connection in all people’s experiences. Look with soft eyes at those who are struggling.

We are all dealing with the broken pieces we have been left with and doing things that make them less painful and make us feel more “normal.”  Some turn to drugs, alcohol, food, sex, or religion. Everyone is looking for a way to allow broken pieces to settle in a way that doesn’t hurt and, in the best case, to find healing.  Sometimes, people don’t recover; that is their story. We each decide for ourselves what we do with our pieces. Do we carry them around forever? Or do we place them kindly and lovingly down the road, remembering them but not allowing the pain to control our lives? Healing is the result.

Do Your Best

In the end, we can only do the best that we can with all of our trauma and loss. We have a finite amount of time to exist on the Earth as we are, and it is up to us whether we want to spend that time angry, scared, and frustrated or robust, happy, and fulfilled. We are all doing our best with what we have, which is all anyone can expect.

There is a brighter day ahead, it may be in a month, a year, or five years but if you keep the hope alive in your heart providing service to others, then eventually the pieces that are broken in you will naturally turn into who you are, and that is not something to fear.  Remember to focus on your conscious thoughts about how you have been broken. Focus on what you think about the circumstances. The words you choose to use when you speak will tell the world about your decisions. These will define your actions. We are all broken to one degree or another, and the challenge is to love life anyway.

“Being broken is like having broken ribs. On the outside, it looks like nothing’s wrong, but every breath hurts.”

“I am the broken that only comes when so many pieces are shattered off the whole that it forgets it ever painted a picture at all.” — Tyler Knott Gregson

“We’re all a little broken, but the last time I checked, broken crayons still color the same.”

“The world is filled with so many beautiful people, after all, and who am I to think that you will hold on, hold on to me, because who am I, and what are we?”