Tag Archives: personal growth

22

Building a Mindset

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I heard once it is possible that of the more than 7 billion people on this planet, most will live out the entirety of their life and never contemplate anything deep or thoughtful about their existence before they die. It makes me think everyone should spend a little time each day considering their cosmic presence.

But maybe life is more comfortable, not considering the meaning of things. Thoughts about how you look at life and why we are here develop around our mindset. Recently I read the book Mindset by Carol S. Dweck. She discusses the two significant attitudes that exist, the growth mindset and the fixed mindset. Excellent thought for how you approach life, learning, and success presents here, and it would be worth your while to take the time to read through this one.

Know Your Fixed Mind

The bottom line is most people pull from both sides of this spectrum, having characteristics of each mindset, depending on the situation. First is the fixed mindset. The belief that you have the talent to do something or you don’t. Much of your self-esteem builds by results, rankings, and the ease with which something is accomplished. Challenges are avoided, and change is not welcome. In a fixed mindset, people focus on limiting you and often feel helpless when needing to change a situation. Criticism is seen as a personal attack, and they rarely leave their comfort zone. Most important, though, is the fixed mindset that thinks putting effort into something is a waste, and they rarely seek to learn new things.

I would be harder on this mindset, but I have practiced it for large parts of my life in many areas. We worry more about appearances than what would make us happier, better, or contribute significantly to the world. Beginning to recognize the fixed mindset in me has allowed me to step beyond it and look for ways to become better. Fear is behind the fixed mindset of not being accepted as who we are. Fear of not being perfect. Fear of experiencing failure. That is what happens when we let the results define our lives and provide our value. The narrow, limiting view of the fixed mindset, driven by fear, is how many live their lives. I hope to leave doubt far behind me.

Step Into Your Growth Mindset

If you look at your life, the moments when you felt the best about yourself and your accomplishments probably came from practicing the growth mindset. We welcome challenges in this frame of mind because we see their ability to help us become better and wiser and contribute more. We embrace change as an inevitable part of life. Continually seek opportunities to build. The thought is that anything is possible with the right plan, consistent practice, and maximum effort. Growth mindset, people, see learning and constructive criticism as something to be desired and sought out. New things are pleasant, and they love exploring them.

There is a lesson that will lead to your ultimate success in every failure if you take the time to learn about it. Rather than being afraid of not knowing, these people see challenges as an excellent opportunity to become better at whatever they are diving into. In a typical school, the growth mindset is not encouraged or recognized. Becoming better or growing should be life’s number one goal because growth brings purpose, fun, and interest and allows the best version of yourself to rise to the surface.

Building the Growth Mindset

Look at yourself and how you approach new things. Are you afraid to fail? Do you worry so much about what others think you limit yourself, give a half-hearted effort, or see failing as the worst thing possible? If you do, you are operating from a fixed mindset. We all tend to have a limited and growth-oriented mindset, depending on what area of life we live in. In some ways, we might be fearless and growth-oriented, and in others, we can be fearful and operating c

“Amid winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says, no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within, there’s something stronger- something better, pushing right back.”

“Every mistake you make is progress toward accomplishment.”

 

22

The Room For Improvement

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self improvement “We are either getting better, or we are getting worse. Nobody stays the same.” The truth in this statement permeates all aspects of our lives. In all that you do, you are becoming more active or less vital. What you pursue counts, and how self-improvement enters your life is a simple matter of personal choice.   My three main areas of focus are the physical, mental, and spiritual parts of me. My goal each day is to become at least 0.001% better than I was yesterday. If I can keep growing and becoming a better person, my contribution to the world will build, and my experience will be much more significant. Failure is not to be me, being kind, considerate, caring, and unselfish.

Physical Self Improvement

Improving the material is not tricky. Even though in many ways, I will never be the athlete or as self improvementathletic as I was in my youth, I am better physically in some aspects today than I have ever been before. If you spend time exercising and you are just a little bit stronger or have just a little bit more stamina, then you are on your way to finding self-improvement for that day. I am better today than yesterday, and I can’t do much better than that.

Of course, the other aspects of your physical health can’t be ignored either. Eating a healthy diet and getting the right amount of sleep can also contribute to your improvement each day in the physical area. Be conscious of what you are doing, and you will see growth comes easily. A better body leads to a better mind, thoughts, energy, and mood. You don’t have to run a marathon to be .001% better than you were yesterday. Get started doing something; your life will change positively. We only get one body for this life; take care of it and treat it with the love it deserves. It will love you back. The body is also the conduit between the mental and the spiritual realm of your life.

Grow Mentally for Self Improvement

It seems we often forget that our mind is a learning machine, and just because our organized self improvementeducation is over, the learning should never end. You can improve your brain in several ways. Any method that gives you new information and causes the synapses in your brain to fire in a new direction will be positive for you. Once your mind expands, it will not shrink again. People are capable of developing new thought patterns throughout life.

One of my favorite methods is reading and learning about new ideas and philosophies. This can also come from conversations with people with different beliefs and lifestyles. Our differences can be a real education; the less we judge, the more we listen, and the better it is for your mind and mental state. Anything rigid and not pliable will eventually break under enough pressure when the flexible bends and survives. Our thoughts are like that. Do something that makes you think daily, and you will self-improvement mentally.

Remembering that our minds are just tools to create thoughts, solve problems, and focus is also essential. Our thoughts are not who we are, and our intention is not our identity. If you look closely, you will see that your mind often lies to you and pushes you in the wrong direction. It is best at these times to focus on your heart and see where it takes you.

 My Spiritual Self Improvement

When it comes to your relationship with God or a higher power, that is your spirituality. We all have a philosophy of what this life is about, why we are here, and the purpose of this whole game. To grow spiritually can be self improvementthrough religion, but I don’t look at that area. My thoughts and relationship with God are personal and mine alone. I do not want or need someone else to dictate what is right and wrong with that. Others may be different, and that is their choice. You are moving along the spiritual path each time you practice positive things. Kindness, acceptance, understanding, giving, forgiveness, or caring are always to walk along the spiritual way. Practice any of these from your heart, and your spirituality will increase.

Another way to improve in this realm is to do something creative. It doesn’t matter what you are creating; if it comes from your heart, it will enhance your spirituality. Do something creative that takes your concentration, and you will find that time drifts by without you even knowing it. An hour and a minute seem the same. Get in this zone while painting a picture, writing, planning something, building something, working on a car, knitting, or whatever creative thing you do, and your spirituality will grow. Meditate, pray, visit nature, whatever allows you a connection to a higher power or within yourself.

In the end, these are my thoughts on the subject because I want to improve and discover my capacity. Where are my limits, and what barriers can I cross? I know that to do my best, I must be my best, and that is the most we can do for self-improvement.

 

22

Some Brainy Thoughts

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Getting to Know Your Brain

It is an irony of life that we spend so much time thinking but very little time examining the mechanism which allows these thoughts to enter our existence.

The brain has been your constant companion throughout life, and its abilities to allow you to comprehend the good or bad in a situation dictate your moods, words, and actions in all cases you are facing. The brain is in continual production of thought, and there are some things we can look at to understand how the brain’s function occurs for us. Our evolution as humans has left us with thought patterns that have encouraged survival but not happiness over thousands of years. Those two things do not have to be mutually exclusive. Evaluating your brain and the thoughts it creates about your life and its situations will lead to greater happiness. Look for the ideas of separations, stabilizing environments, and the practice of approaching opportunities and avoiding threats.

Separations

People look to maintain separation from the world and others because of the appearance of safety. To be reliant on only yourself leaves no room for another person to cause you any harm. We see ourselves as unique individuals separated from all others, but is that true? There is a multitude of ways that we are obviously.

There are lots of ways we separate ourselves and our identities. Sometimes we need fences, and sometimes we need our thoughts.

Connected to the world and dependent upon it for social interaction, food sources, more significant learning, growth, understanding, and goods/services. When you see this apparent contradiction, you may feel isolated, alienated, overwhelmed, or as if you are in a struggle against everything.

Accepting that we are indeed dependent and interconnected with the world around us and other people in the world is a frightening concept. Still, you live in a delusion when you deny this or choose not to think about it. From the simple dependency on oxygen to breathe, we are connected. Many of these types of connections exist, and they are honest and vital. To see separation as reality is the mind playing an uncomfortable and untruthful trick on you. It is the work of an out-of-control ego seeking to maintain your identity.

Seeking Stability

When you become unstable in your body, mind, or relationships, your brain will produce signals of threat and impending pain. Your mind works to bring you back to stability.   This happens whenever we experience any change because differences get the unknown. It may be better, but it may be worse. That is uncomfortable for the survival instinct and people because life is continual.

Seeking stability in a world that is constantly changing is a difficult challenge.

Changing and will be until the day it ends. Learning to see your connections to the world and reliance upon others will allow you to look at your thoughts and notice what they are causing you to feel. You can then start to understand your emotions and have a chance to control them rather than the other way around.

The balancing act is tricky to accomplish because all of the factors in our lives are constantly experiencing change. So nothing is ever the same for long. Physically, mentally, spiritually, economically, and intellectually we are changing. With each new experience, we have to adjust our previous thoughts and beliefs to the further information coming to us. This uncomfortable feeling of constant evaluation feels like a threat. Even though, in the long run, the changes may prove good for us.

Opportunities and Threats

All of us naturally look for areas of opportunity to embrace and threats to avoid. Neutral things we just let drift away. Your brain is responsible for your feelings for every experience and how it is painted, opportunity, threat, or neutral. Many believe the human mind has a negativity bias and pays far greater attention to the negative experience than they deserve. This will

Avoiding real threats is a smart move, but often we give too much power to threats that don’t deserve it.

Create apprehension and cynicism about the things we face in life.

Often it seems the brain builds up both pleasant and unpleasant experiences so that we are chasing very hard after things that bring minimal pleasure and hide away from painful things that are exaggerated in danger or not even real. Most worry is this way. Strict attachments to outcomes are examples of building things up on the positive, and worry results from building up the negative. Each will cause pain, and both are created inside your brain.

Your brain is your constant companion throughout life, and it is a powerful tool that can help you solve problems and even help create things in your life. But you have to understand that your brain, as powerful as it is, is not you. You are the person behind the brain. You can watch your thoughts like an old-fashioned stock ticker. Many believe that their brain is their identity when it is not. It is just a means to an end. Think about that for a minute.

I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.—Arthur Conan Doyle

That’s your best friend and your worst enemy – your brain.–Fred Durst

Don’t let your brain interfere with your heart.    —Albert Einstein

The human brain is probably one of the most complex single objects on the face of the earth; I think it is, quite honestly. —Bill Viola

The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain.-  Daniel Goleman

The brain is the organ of destiny. It holds within its humming mechanism secrets that will determine the future of the human race. —-Wilder Penfield

 

22

Wisdom Comes from Suffering

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Change is a constant factor people deal with every day of their life. All situations are continually changing and morphing into something else. Most of the changes we experience are so subtle that we don’t even notice them today. But that doesn’t make them any less real.

They are there, allowing the cycle of all things to flow into your life. All items have a beginning, a middle, an ending, and the force of change powers that cycle. Sometimes we let the changes happen out of our control, and others when we are the force of change. The muscles that cause people to initiate change and make positive changes are the focus of today’s thoughts. Change is not all fun and peace in your life. It can be painful, angry, and violent. When you lose something extraordinary, that means the world to you because it paints it in a different light because of change. Wisdom comes from suffering, and change brings suffering. It is time to delve into your knowledge, enhance experiences, and be grateful for them, the pain, and your path. Change uptime.

Why We Initiate change in Our Lives

Things will change naturally, but there are times when we all initiate change in our lives. One of the primary reasons is that we experience pain. We have attempted something in the past, and it was painful. Something is happening now, and it is sad. Or we can connect the dots between right now and the future, giving a good chance of bringing the pain. If any of these are your experience with anything, you will probably decide to change it. Pain or, more accurately, the fear of experiencing pain will dictate change.

Evaluating all aspects of the change you decide to make is essential. Pain is a great teacher, but it also builds fear in us. Then we lose our confidence, and our ability to accomplish things is compromised. Use your courage to face fear and embrace changes that you want or need in your life. Change for the sake of making your life better rather than fearing pain.

How to Change

Here is a simple method to create positive change in your life. First, get a clear and focused vision of what you want your life to change. Too many times, you have the opportunity to change your life in a good way, a job that suits you more, a better place to live, or some other aspect of life that you could address, but if you have no plan for change, you are likely to stand pat where you are. Even if that place is not so positive, get a clear and focused goal.

Then it is essential to be open to using all of your opportunistic forces to develop the tools and skills you need to change your life best. Find examples of people who had achieved what you sought before you and use them as positive role models. It is estimated that 80% of success in anything requires a role model to show you the way. Most people are very generous with their time and are more than willing to help somebody do what they have already done. Don’t be afraid to seek those role models to help you positively change your life.

Finally, it is essential to resolve all of your inner conflicts and embrace changes. We all carry baggage from our past, and that past existed for a reason. Usually, it teaches us a lesson if we pay attention. Don’t let a lack of confidence or an awful experience cost you your dreams today. We all have ability and talent, and let yours develop. Don’t let an issue from the past stop you from changing in positive ways.

Change, change, change.

Embrace the magic that change can bring and allow yourself to grow from it all. Please don’t spend your life fighting against it. Life is a constant dance of transformation. From birth to death, we all are continually changing. Don’t fight it. Embrace the change you face as the opportunity it is. Ten years from now, you will look back and see how different you are from 10 years ago as you were ten years before. Move all of your positive direction changes, and life will become a much more enjoyable experience.

“The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.” —Kakuzō Okakura, The Book of Tea.

“I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.” —Georg C. Lichtenberg.

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” —John F. Kennedy.

 

22

Happiness is an Inside Job

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finding happinessI don’t know about you, but finding happiness in life depends on my perceptions of things and the people around me.   When you focus your actions around the things you can control (inside/out)and avoid letting the stuff outside of your experience, you can’t control the behavior you are living outside in. You will continually find yourself living at the whims of the things that happen to you rather than dictating what you would like to happen to you.

There seem to be two choices in life. Either I live from the outside in or from the inside out. The choice dictates how large the portion of happiness I  experience at any particular time is. But what does it mean to live from the inside out? There are factors we can control in life and others outside of us that we do not. We are blessed with the choice of the outside or inside dominating our consciousness, so we control the amount of happiness we experience. Awesome!

From the Outside In Not Finding Happiness

Too often, We can find ourselves allowing the things and the people who come into our lives to dictate our mood. A great example of this would be when a finding happinessperson cuts you off in traffic, and you let that act affect your mood negatively, your anger rises, and you let your whole day get away from you. When we allow others’ decisions and choices to dictate our moods and actions, we are far from finding happiness in life. It can be the same as the people we care about. If they are in a bad mood for no fault of your own or are mad about something else, it is all out of your control.

That leads to me not taking responsibility for my life. It is too easy to send blame in the direction of whatever or whoever has changed my mood. I blame the traffic, blame the crowd, blame loved ones, or blame my friends. All of these are a cop-out because the only one who can choose to be angry or suffer because of someone else’s act is you. All you can control in this situation is your reaction to someone or something. Make sure it comes from a place of love. Finding happiness starts with accepting responsibility for our actions and lives, which means seeing the outside influences for what they are.

From the Inside Out

This is when you are at your best because the opposite of what is described above is happening. All thoughts and emotions about life events come from inside, and we choose their influence on us. We do not have to be angry unless we decide to be. There is no need to be frustrated unless we choose to be. We don’t have to let the non-stop external stimulus dictate our mood because the choices are made from our positive perspective, accepting full responsibility for all aspects of our lives. When your emotions radiate from inside yourself out, they will be more positive, and they will also radiate outward from you either positively or negatively.

This is the ultimate responsibility because when you choose the reactions that you experience, your true self is allowed to come through. Each of us has this ability, but it gets clouded through the lens of what society has told us is essential, rather than making decisions based on what we feel is right or wrong. There is no unhealthy attachment to things outside of you because you’re living from the thoughts, words, and actions inside of yourself.

You Are The Shot Caller for Finding Happiness

finding happiness
Whatever Walter White says goes!

Living from the inside out allows us to be the best representation of ourselves that we can be. What the media tells you about how you should look no longer matters. Finding happiness does not come from what “they” tell you to do, be or look like; it isn’t relevant anymore. What they ask you to enjoy isn’t a part of your story anymore  (unless you allow it), and you are becoming your best self if you pay attention to the thoughts and emotions that radiate from you.

You are responsible for your moods and emotions because what you think, say, and do comes from inside you and radiates in waves out into the world rather than the other way around. Your inner goodness is a force that needs to be shared with the world. We are all happier when we focus on what we can control and make good choices and leave the things we can’t control, helping ourselves and others find happiness. Please focus on the things you can manage and push them in the direction you want to go. You have no idea what power you possess until you focus on deploying it in a valuable and vital way from the inside out.

“You can’t teach anybody anything, only make them realize the answers are already inside them.”
– Galileo Galilei

“How soon will you realize that the only thing you don’t have is the direct experience that there’s nothing you need that you don’t have?”
– Ken Keyes, JR

“Uncertainty is the only certainty, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”
— John Allen Paulos

“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”
— Sydney Banks

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”
— Maya Angelou

22

The Gap of Knowledge and Life

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One of the things that I have become more sure of each day is I used to know a lot more about life than I do today. You are led to believe early in life, and you will eventually figure all of this out as you gain more experience and become a bit more mature. Yet the older I get, the more I recognize the gap between life and what I know is growing wider by the moment!

This is not to say that I am becoming less intelligent. On the contrary,  it simply means that as I have gained more experience, I attain a certain level of understanding, which unfortunately causes you to know the things you have believed most of your existence about people and life has been chiefly inaccurate or become irrelevant with the discovery of new information. I am sure of much less than I used to be, and that is OK. I have learned to maintain a balance in the unknown.

What I Used To Think

 

A few years ago, I believed I knew all I needed about relationships, people, finances, politics, and religion. Any topic you wanted to discuss, I was secure in my beliefs of how the world worked and not looking to test those parameters in any way.   I was happy and satisfied, knowing I was very proper and intelligent. We are willing to turn a blind eye to investigation when we are so sure about the true nature of a thing. But life is not a predictable equation, set to the simple calculations of fools.

A funny thing happens as you get older; like old paint on the side of a building, the ideas you carry that once used to show such surety slowly display signs of wear and crack. At first, you can ignore it, but once you start to look at things closely, you realize that what you knew before without the shadow of a doubt is not in any way correct. It happens with just one small thing at first, perhaps a belief about yourself, and once that is proven false, even if it positively helps your life, it is unnerving. If one of your beliefs can be wrong, they could all be wrong, and then what can you count on??

Answers Found, Not Answers at All

Finding an answer does not end the quest; it merely leads you to ask other questions that need to be answered. This cycle continues until you realize that as you answer the many questions you have, more questions come, and soon you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you know much less than you did yesterday.

I believe it would be helpful to give you a demonstration of this process in action. The first question I ever had was, why does bad stuff happen to me?  That was it. I had experienced a string of bad luck, poor choices, and unpopular decision, add-ons, and I couldn’t fathom why this happened to me. Here is a growth opportunity.

The old me would think I didn’t deserve these bad things because I was a good person and never harmed anyone, so why am I being cursed? That often turned into a wave of self-pity and selfishness, unproductive, harmful, and just plain painful.

What I found to be the Answer

image1Life is full of experiences, some may be more pleasant to experience than others, but they all have merit and are designed to teach you something. If you are continually experiencing the same thing, perhaps you are just too dense to grasp the lesson. This was profound, and not surprisingly, those situations stopped occurring.

The questions that came next were predictable, and I think:  Is there a God? Why do bad things happen? What happens when you die? How should I feel? How should you treat others? What is the secret to being happy? What does love mean? Etc.

I am working on all these, but the most mind-boggling question has been, who am I? If you had asked me ten years ago, there would be a short easy answer, based on my job. But when you strip your occupation and titles of a family away, what are you? What makes you uniquely and individually? Is it your thoughts? Or is it the person who sees the ideas? Either way, these questions will keep coming until you have an answer.

Still Not That Smart

I do not have the complete answer to the question of who I am yet and what I am supposed to be doing here because I am not wise enough, and I may never be. I love to learn from the experiences life presents, take those I know, and apply them positively to my knowledge. I am increasing my quality of life and improving the experience for those I encounter.

So as I have searched for answers, I have found many questions. My journey displays clearly and concretely that I know much less today than I did yesterday! I am sure my knowledge will continue to shrink as I get to see the world and the universe better, and I am OK with that. How much you know it is a small thing, and it is how you use what you know to help others and make the world a little bit better place that counts.

“The older I get, the less I know. By that, I mean the less I am sure of. I view people with strong opinions on the big stuff with distrust. I don’t think we should have certainties on faith and politics; I think we should be open-minded.” Pam Ferris.

 “Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.” Immanuel Kant

“The older you get, the quieter you become. Life humbles you so deeply as you age. You realize how much nonsense you’ve wasted time on.”Anonymous

“Never, no, never did nature say one thing and wisdom say another.” Edmund Burke

“Knowledge is knowing what to say. Wisdom knows when to say it.”Anonymous

 

 

22

The Benefits of Your Stillness

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The stillness of life is going to provide all people with significant benefits. No matter where you go to find it, the peace and tranquility of time spent relaxing your body and retreating in your mind from the hustle of everyday life can calm your nerves and revitalize your brain. Seek out the places that are special to your heart and your soul. Quiet contemplation is essential for all people’s development as human beings. Finding a balance between time with others and time for yourself is one of the significant learning challenges of life. Here is a look at the benefits that can come from moments of meditation or simple stillness when we breathe more deeply, see more fully, hear more acutely, and find an understanding of who we are.

Reboot the Brain

One of the most significant benefits of time alone is that it allows you to reboot your brain. Thoughts are coming at you in rapid-fire succession, and being able to step back and look at the ideas you have been entertaining allows you to stop focusing on the ones that are not serving you and your life and focus on the things you want to be a priority. Unwinding and revamping are great uses of time for yourself.

This will also allow your brain to improve its work by increasing your ability to concentrate and focus your thoughts. Hone in on the ideas that resonate with you and move you toward the experiences you want. A higher level of productivity will result from having some alone time. Goals are created, and the path to accomplishing them is formed in these moments spent in quiet contemplation of our lives.

Creates Better Relationships

Having time to yourself makes your relationships better. Without time to create and think about ways to improve your life, stagnation is the only other option. Interacting with others brings new perspectives into your life, and time to yourself helps you evaluate all your views. By knowing yourself better and liking who that person is, you have much more to bring back to a relationship in caring, kindness, experiences, thoughts, and words. All are increased by having time to think by yourself.

Alone time allows you to increase your ability to practice empathy toward other people and their situations in life. In times of deep thought, an understanding can help you know what will make you happy and allow all things in your life to move with more synchronicity. When problems do exist, this is time to work through them from the thoughts you have, the emotions they elicit, and what action to take to alleviate the pain you may be in. Bringing these discoveries back to your relationships creates more honest and powerful connections with others.

Finding Your Balance

This can be a difficult thing to do. Either we spend too much time with others, allowing no time to ourselves, or we are trapped in a seemingly endless cycle of being by ourselves, looking for more connections. There is a healthy balance I think we are all striving for. It all begins, I believe, with accepting who you are and liking that person. Never feel wrong about the things you enjoy doing. If they don’t hurt anyone, do them freely and joyfully. Follow your interests, and you will also meet people with similar interests.

For all things, there is time. A time to be alone and a time to have company and understand what works for you will lead to your happiness. Society would like to tell you what they think, but I urge you not to listen to societal messages. We are all individual programs; what works for someone else and makes them happy will not work for me. Too often, people feel something is wrong with them if they don’t fit into a specific mold. Fit into your mold. Be yourself and find the time to develop your person and the life you want to live. Find the stillness and listen to the voice within you when you are there.

“All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness.”-Eckhart Tolle.

“The stillness in stillness is not the real stillness; only when there is stillness in movement does the universal rhythm manifest.”-Bruce Lee.

“Empty yourself of everything. Let the mind become still.
The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then return to the source. Returning to the source is stillness, which is nature’s way.”-Laozi.

 

22

Why Build a Growth Mindset?

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Do you have a philosophy of growth in your life? Or do you feel that you have the intelligence, skill, and talent that you were born with, and that is it? Answering these questions honestly can help you find the path to a more enjoyable and fulfilling life or a life of lack, worry, fear, and never measuring up. Life is either an exciting learning experience where you embrace challenges and learning or a fixed experience where you feel there is nothing else to learn and no growth you can achieve. Or perhaps you have a combination of both in your makeup. There are many benefits to developing a growth mindset when you approach your life. I wanted to share 15 positive things about developing a growth mindset.

A brief explanation: Fixed mindset believes talent is everything, and they are doomed to failure if they are not blessed with the talent to do something. The growth mindset believes whatever someone wants to achieve is there to take as long as you are willing to dedicate to the goal and continue to improve toward meeting the challenges and overcoming failure.

Benefits of an attitude of growth.

  1. Life is an adventure to be enjoyed. Even when you need to do something better, there is an understanding that it can be better, more fun, and learn it. Where you start isn’t where you are going to end up. Enjoy the ride to accomplishment.
  2. Higher Self Esteem is a result of the growth mindset. When you feel that you can learn and grow into a situation, it will also improve your insight because you will not look at things as they are but as they might be when you are done.
  3. Your relationships will be better because they are not what they are but continually growing and becoming better. When two people decide to pursue something, it is better to achieve and has more power than one person by themselves.
  4. Our society often makes people feel less intelligent if they do not know something. In the growth mindset, you never feel stupid for not knowing. Asking, learning, growing, and mastering are all part of the process. Nobody knows everything, and to pretend you do is delusional.
  5. Perfection is a staple of the fixed mindset. A growth mindset doesn’t need to be perfect because perfection is impossible. We can always strive to become great at what we want to do. In trying, our talent develops, and we build mastery of things. Perfection is a silly thing to hold onto because it is an illusion. Better to be excited to learn about doing things better, growing as a person, and achieving things you set your mind to. 
  6. Confidence is one of the assets we all need to thrive in life—the higher your level of faith, the higher your achievement is open to you. As you develop a growth mindset, you will know that no matter where you are right now, accomplishing your goals is something you can do if it is physically possible. Confidence in your ability to learn, adapt, overcome obstacles, and be the best person you can be will also grow to an all-time high. 
  7. When you know that you can accomplish many different things, your attitude becomes more positive because you realize that you are in control of this game in the long run. Your choices are going to lead to your reality. It is much more difficult to experience some forms of depression when you have a purpose and are working toward it. That is the growth mindset. 
  8. It is also a skill to take responsibility for everything in your life. Never looking for someone or something to blame for where you are is a skill that will allow you to develop a strong mentality. Excuses and blame establish the victim’s psyche and take away all of your power. Taking responsibility gives you all the power.
  9. The growth mentality allows you to see single events as just that. A single event that you have the power to deal with and overcome any obstacle that it plants in your way. Each day is new and brings a unique experience to all of us. Yesterday was an event; only fear and a fixed mindset make it more than that. 
  10. A growth mindset will allow you to become more resilient when things go wrong because you will have confidence in your ability to create a positive outcome even if one, two, or three setbacks are experienced. It isn’t the show’s end; it is only the beginning and a chance to grow. 
  11. All setbacks will be helpful with the growth mindset because you will have a chance to improve old skills or develop new ones to get past the current challenge. All challenges are viewed as positive because it allows you to become better. 
  12. The Growth mindset allows you to let go of any stress you may have when proving yourself because you don’t have to. You will develop an attitude that you will be your best every day. It may mean a different thing depending on the day, but proving yourself is unnecessary.  
  13. Putting time and effort into a project, you are committed to being a good thing, not something to be feared. Many fixed mindset people have difficulty doing anything that doesn’t come easily to them. In a growth mindset, people know that improvement is the cost of practicing and working at something. 
  14. You make a better company for others when you have a growth mindset. Wouldn’t you spend time with someone optimistic, understanding, and always learning about new things, who has confidence and isn’t destroyed by each little setback they come across? That makes you a much better company for others. 
  15. Finally, the growth mindset allows you to see all of us as equal in our journey. Some are further along and using all of their growth gifts, and others are stuck in a fixed mindset, but that doesn’t make anyone any better than anyone else. We are all equal and can master new things and grow.

So, developing a growth mentality is essential to becoming the best you can be. To become more confident and make your dreams come true by knowing you can make a plan, and through a commitment to them, you can achieve almost anything.

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who had kept on trying when there seemed no hope at all.”- Dale Carnegie

“Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance.”- Samuel Johnson

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”- Margaret Thatcher

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.”- John C. Maxwell

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure.”- Thomas Watson

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”- Theodore Roosevelt

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”- Albert Einstein

“Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. “- Joshua J. Marine

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”- George Bernard Shaw

 

22

The Moment for Maturity

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It would seem by this moment in my life, I would have a deeper understanding of what it means to be mature and to develop the skills of that maturity consciously.  I hope someday to be a thoughtful and contributing member of society, but it is a process, and until you become self-aware of where you are, it isn’t easy to see where you need to go. There are choices you make in your day-to-day life, which display your level of maturity or not. The purpose of this little writing is to allow you the opportunity to self-evaluate where you are at, where you want to go and how your current level of maturity is affecting your life in the present moment.  At the end of it all, you are responsible for your choices. The reasons behind the decisions you make will define how you work.

To Teach and be Taught

We often move through life and face situations where we think of the best way to react.  If you see someone going through an awkward situation, maturity will make you want to help someone else weather the storm you once weathered.  There are lessons you learned and the power you developed which have helped you and might help someone else make their way through a difficult time.  Maturity allows you to see the opportunity and understand when a person is open, receptive, and appreciative of the help you can offer and then offer it.

Seeing someone who is in a hole and understanding their predicament is the first step. Choosing to jump into that hole with someone and teach them lessons allows your own experiences in facing challenges to be relevant. It shows good character and personal strength to escape. Whether that person succeeds in moving on will reflect on their growth and integrity.  All you can do is offer the knowledge in a mature, responsible way. Then it is up to each individual if they sit in a hole and feel sorry for themselves or work to move out. Onward and upward.

Self-Evaluation over Criticism

It is effortless to look at the things which don’t work out and nitpick everything you could have done better. If you had known how the ending would be, you would have turned left instead of right. You would never have trusted that person. You would have evaluated things differently with a more critical eye. But that isn’t how life works, and to play, Monday morning quarterback with each decision you have gone wrong on is wasting the opportunity for growth and learning.  Life will keep teaching you the exact lesson until you learn what you need to. A person needs to evaluate each excruciating experience beyond the moment’s emotion.

That is maturity. To be able to sit back after some time passes and see where you went wrong, and what was precisely your fault and what was not. This evaluation will allow you to become a higher functioning human being and learn what you can from this situation.  The hope is you will never have to experience it again and become a wiser soul for the trouble. Life will continually present you with challenges; how you choose to deal with them is up to you. I know that when the pain is raw in the heat of the moment, and you have not recognized or let go of your attachments, it is impossible to have a mature, thoughtful understanding of things. Let’s sit for a bit and simmer and then react in an emotionally sound and mentally well-thought-out way. The hasty reaction will most often lead to more problems.

Truth Is More Important than Feelings

That leads us to the facts. What is the truth in any situation?  Are your reactions grounded in honesty and authenticity, or are they being ruled by emotions? There are no great training courses for dealing with feelings and understanding where they originate.  Each thought we entertain is going to have a passion attached to it.   Emotions cause us to react to find the balance we seek.  To understand why we react. Learning this is vital to becoming a mature person.  Our reactions are often not based on truth but result from some subconscious programming we have taken on from our life experiences.  If something is unconscious, you don’t react to the situation’s truth, but the feelings the situation causes you to feel. Emotions of past painful moments will warn of danger now. That is a pretty complicated way to live. It is nearly impossible to build a positive and healthy relationship with someone else if you aren’t dealing with or understanding the river of emotion flowing through you all the time.  Please take a moment and look at your feelings and ask yourself where they are originating. Understanding the origin of your emotions will help you contribute better to your life and the lives of those around you.  To live through unexplored emotional responses will make you difficult to impossible to live with, and a “real,” quality relationship is unlikely to create and build in your life.  Learn to develop emotional intelligence that can educate you and help you understand all of your emotional responses. The links you save will be your own.

Responsibility the Key

In all things, develop liability for your actions and your inactions. The definition of our lives will come from this one ability. Too often, it is easy to shift the blame onto other people, circumstances, or fate. Doing this takes your ability to control your own life.  Let’s face it, many things in life will happen, and we can’t do anything to stop them. But we can always control our reactions to everything.  Exercising this power starts with a clear focus on who is responsible for your life.  Is it the person who ended a relationship with you?  Or is it you because you were too invested in a person who was not a match for you?  All challenges, even the painful ones, teach lessons.

I hope to develop into a mature, decisive, consistent, and strong individual who contributes to the lives of the people in my life and society. 

“Maturity is that time when the mirrors in our mind turn to windows and instead of seeing the reflection of ourselves, we see others.” unknown.

“Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up.”  Tom Stoppard

“Maturity is the ability to think, speak, and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity. The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations.” –  Samuel Ullman.

“Maturity knows when to be immature.”  Randall Hall

 

22

Cycles of Growth and Change

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Life is like a game that brings you a varied experience. From the time we are born,  we move through cycles of change, which allow us to grow and become more mature and eventually become a powerful, positive-thinking human beings in the world. Some play this game on a loop. They get to a certain point and then try to stay in that comfortable place where everything is known, and the challenges are few.  The problem with this is that there will be little growth or purpose in life.

To avoid the pendulum of experience that swings from success to failure to gain and lose is impossible.  Our fear of loss and failure stops us from moving forward and risking all we have for the potential reward of becoming better people. We are too comfortable right where we are, even if we are unhappy or unsatisfied.  All life cycles have value and provide an opportunity to become the best version of ourselves. It would help if you had the courage to keep moving forward, regardless of the losses you might seem to leave behind.

Opportunity for Growth Everywhere

To become our best selves, we have to embrace growth opportunities. This can mean a new job, relationship, or trying something new for the first time. Growth is generally a positive experience that makes us more confident and provides joy in life. It will lead to change, and change brings an initial feeling of discomfort with it. Many people return to uncomfortable and harmful situations to avoid this awkward feeling of growth.  Even good change requires you to say goodbye to things, people, and places you enjoy and are comfortable with.  To grow, you need to dissolve a part of the past. Like a snake shedding its skin to become more mature, you must leave to get something.

Nothing can grow forever, but growth symbolizes life, and when you are reaching the end of the grand cycle of life and growth is no longer possible, it is time to move on.  Learning is the key to growth. All people can learn something new and become better at something in their lives. You always know what you want to learn because it is drawn to you like a magnet. Follow your interests in whatever paths they lead you. Don’t let age or the limiting expectations of others stop you. Modern society wonders that all information is located right at your fingertips. Search, learn, and grow. Develop and maintain a growth mindset throughout life.

Don’t Fear The Down Cycles

There are a time and a purpose for all things that happen. Sometimes it isn’t easy to see the positives in a situation, but we only have our perspective to look at things. We can’t see the landscape around us when we sit in the forest ourselves.  In general terms, down cycles are necessary for spiritual realizations to occur. The power of loss and pain draws a person to look for the meaning behind it all. If we move from success to success and never have time requiring character, we will never want change. Life is too comfortable.

Life never stays comfortable for most people. For some, it takes a significant life shake-up to force change and an investigation of things that are new and wonderful for you.  The hard times are not fun but are needed. People have experienced many deep losses, which have pushed them in new directions of development.  A new career, a new hobby, an activity that brings you peace, or even an appreciation of who you are and what a joy it can be to be a living human living on this great Earth.  All because you experienced a time of challenge in your life.  Be grateful for the challenge because it made you a better person.  Perhaps the version of yourself you were meant to be all along.

Final Analysis

So before you jump out and label one thing bad and another good, remember that the event is only the catalyst. The streams of reaction results also need to be analyzed. Often you never see your shortcomings until life points them out to you.  How can you improve something when you have no idea it exists?  It is that way when you look at failure and success. Often we get so wrapped up in perceptions we don’t understand what opportunity life has given us.  “Failure lies concealed in every success and success in every failure.”

Look for the lesson, not the perceived result, and seek ways to improve yourself.

“The perfect orchestration of the symphony of life is one of the Creator’s greatest and most beautiful miracles.” ― Suzy Kassem

“ Dharma or Ethics and Morals are the Fundamental Set of Rules created for those who want to play the Game, by those who are Inside the Game.” ― Vineet Raj Kapoor