Tag Archives: personal growth

22

Beware of the Shifting Sands in Life

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One of the things we need to get used to in life is it never stays the same.  Humans trick ourselves into believing we can get to a place where everything will be exactly as we dream.  Perfect job, perfect relationship, perfect health, and perfect life.  Unfortunately, anyone with any experience knows life will never be perfect. Even if you are fortunate enough to find some excellent moments, in some areas, they are continually shifting into something else, some other experience.  I know I have built attachments to jobs, relationships I have been in, and activities I took part in.  I was in a constant struggle to create stability in my life.  I figured that if I found a place in the world where I fit, then that part was over. I could relax, and I understood that my job, relationship, or situation and good for me.

The problem is that the Universe does not work in a static state.  Things are constantly in motion, and the way anything is today will be different tomorrow. There is no way to gain absolute stability because the ground under your very feet will shift, and the solid foundation you thought you were standing on is only loose, moving sand and causing you to scramble and change your perspective, place, and ideas. If all of this makes life a scary proposition or a never-ending adventure is up to your choices of thought and understanding of your attachments.

Attachments to Other People

Knowing things are constantly changing can make relationships a dicey experience.  I think it is too easy to get lost in something going well.  Once you attach yourself to how things are, they stop being great spontaneously and become something you take for granted.  Because you are connected to the way, things are.  A friend of mine recently observed, “It seems less likely that an actual, perfect long-term relationship will exist.”  I thought about it for a minute and had this conclusion.  Positive long-term relationships can exist and do exist all the time.  One of the truths about life, though, is that at some point, all relationships, even the best and most powerful, will end. That is life.

The secret is not building an attachment to anyone the way a person or a relationship can be because it is all just shifting sand under your feet. Giving a person the room to grow and be an individual on their journey is essential as you move through your transitions and changes life will inevitably push you through.  Each moment is given to you to be treasured at that time.  A great day is a great day, and even though you wish it would never end, the sun will set, and time will move on into another day.  It may be great too, but it will be different, and you will not be able to enjoy that new experience if you have your thoughts and feelings clinging to the events of the “perfect” day that is gone by.  Living in this moment is the only thing you can do. Make this another “great day.”  Two people living in sync with that attitude can make life excellent and enjoyable. You are enjoying the changes the shifting sands bring and making each enjoyable and memorable.

A Job is Just an Activity

One area people are programmed throughout life is the activity they choose to contribute to society.  Our jobs focus on our early life as we choose an educational path to get the position we want.  Then we pursue that career and attain success or move in another direction. You have been working so long to become that doctor, lawyer, business owner, teacher, engineer, mechanic, or whatever you wanted to become that you become attached to that position.  Your

identity is wrapped up in what you do to make money.  If you don’t think so, one of the first questions someone asks another when you first meet is, “what do you do for a living?”  This allows us to try to understand where someone fits into our world.

The truth is our jobs are just an activity we agree to participate in. The job will end eventually. It will not define who you are as a person; only tell people what you did to make money. Being successful at your job is different for everyone, but being attached to a job is difficult because when the shifting sands take it away, what will you be then?  Identity questions will follow, and if you have spent no time getting to know yourself, you are in for a rude awakening.  I have found many different roles we can fit into and find enjoyment and satisfaction in the performance of money tasks. But I no longer build attachments to these things.  I am the same person in every job; I have just had to play a different role.  Give your best and look to enjoy the parts of the job that you genuinely want, and work will be rewarding.  Always expect it to change, and you will never be disappointed when it does.  Shifting sands are always under your feet.

Life Itself

The compilation of experiences we endure is the sum of our lives.  From the earliest moments when we are children, we start to piece together our observations and moments to understand how things work and how we can best thrive and survive.  Striking balance is the most efficient method for riding the shifting sands and gaining the most enjoyment of your time.  Life has a way of keeping you moving down the path of experience.  We often have no choice in what we will face, but we always control how we deal with things.  I have often not reacted well initially to things.  Seeing the sand shift and swallow up the things I built attachments to.  But in time, with thought and effort, I think I  have regained my balance, learned a lesson, and enjoyed life in a new way.

It’s hard to let things go into that shifting sand, but all of our lives and growth stem from the ability to do just that successfully.  Dance in the sands and understand things will never stay the same, just because you particularly enjoyed a particular part of it.  Enjoy each moment for what it brings you, and then be ready to accept the next moment and find the joy, gratitude, and appreciation for what those moments bring to your experience.  Learn your lessons from the past and leave the moments there.  Look to this moment to find your joy because this is the only moment you have and are guaranteed.

Finally……..

Today is Easter Sunday 2019, take a moment and look at your life and choose the things in your day that you are grateful for, enjoy them and then let them go into the ever-changing abyss of your experience.  There will be new and different experiences on your horizon coming into your life in the next moment or 24 hours from now. Be ready to embrace them.  Find the people looking for that very same thing, spend time with them, embrace moments, and be grateful for your time together.  Avoid attachments to relationships, moments, experiences, jobs, and things.  All will leave, break, and end eventually, which is not good or bad, just a fact.  Learning to enjoy what is here is one of the secrets to life.

  1. When the universe gives you more than you expect: Embrace it and then share it.
  2. Your life becomes a masterpiece when you learn to master peace.
  3. You’re the most significant switch in life, and your energy turns the light on or off.
  4. Choose your happiness over everything.
  5. It is what it is. Accept it and move on.
  6. Be patient. Everything is coming together.
  7. Healing is an art, and it takes time, and it takes practice, and it takes love.
  8. You live, You learn, You move on.
  9. One of the happiest moments in life is finding the courage to let go of what you cannot change.
  10. Sometimes you have to accept that certain things will never return to how they used to be. Life goes on.

 

22

Put The Past Behind You

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Life is a strange play. We move through many of our days, never thinking things could be any different. But things are always in a constant state of flux, for the one constant we experience on a minute-to-minute basis is change. It washes over our lives in inevitable portions, perhaps not wanted, but it still comes anyway. When things are not so pleasant, there is hope that changes will bring relief from what you are experiencing today. When things are going well, we hide from change because it will ruin all of our current conquests and the kingdoms we have built.

For me, the last year was an experience in the latter. Things changed for the worse as people I relied on left my life seemingly complete proportions. There was nothing I could do, and I have spent the past months trying to pick up the pieces that used to be me and see where they fit. The feeling of significant loss is a form of suffering, and I can be aware that I had built too many attachments to the way things were. Perhaps too much trust too soon in some people. I have spent too much time looking at the past and wishing things would magically snap back to where they were a year ago. But that hope is holding me back from moving forward into whatever the following stages of my life will bring, which can be equally good if you allow them to happen. Loss is still something you need to grieve, which I have been doing lately.

Shutting Doors

When you look at all the cycles in your life, it can be challenging to find the courage within yourself to shut the door at that time in your life. Even if it was painful, disappointing, or negative, there are positive things about people and experiences you might not want to let go of. So you leave the door open just a sliver looking for the memory of that good thing to open the door and walk back into your life. But it will not and the focus you spend looking toward that door, hoping, is not paying attention to the other entries you may be able to open, behind which great things lie.

Who knows what will be hiding behind the next door that opens. It could be great; it could be just ok. Life doesn’t often allow us to choose, and we can only decide our reactions to and actions once they are open. The only thing you can be sure of is that doors will continue to open for you as long as you are alive and functioning. To End, a chapter of your life on your terms can be next to impossible, but how you accept an ending is always up to you. To fight against it is the greatest form of suffering—resistance to the reality of your life.

Be The Force of Change

Each moment presents us with choices, to do what we always have, to believe as we have always believed, or to make a conscious decision to start to think about something else different from the past. In my experience, life provides us with cycles of life that serve to offer us lessons about how to live but, more importantly, about who we are. You can be proactive in your choices of dealing with change by deciding exactly how the end of your chapters will play out for you.

If you seek out the things that need to change and then take positive steps in the direction you want, you initiate the change in your life and create the action. In this way, you are being the hammer of change and involved in just what new things enter and old things end. My experience is that life will reward this type of situation with answers, knowledge, and clarity about your vision of where you can go and the joy you can experience. The hardest part of initiating change is the fear that it won’t work out. But it always does, in its inevitable conclusion. Life will work out if you let it and are willing to accept what comes your way. Only through acceptance can you thoroughly move forward.

Leave the Past

The bottom line in life is that you have to leave the past behind you and live in the present as best you can to make the future the best possible. The people who seem to live best are the ones who can recognize an ending, take a bow, let the audience applaud, and allow the curtain to close. Then take the makeup off, remove their costume and leave the theatre, moving into the next play of their life.

To continually relive old plays is a trap of mediocrity. Each stage we perform in life provides a purpose, and you should never forget the lessons, but do not try to live there. It will only stop you from moving forward. Leave your life moments that have finished where they are and move forward into a great new day. These are easy thoughts to think about but much more difficult in actions taken. Our minds connect to people and things. It is hard to let them go because it is painful when seemingly tangible things turn to dust and leave us. We need to be able to understand why. With the seeming hope, we can avoid painful losses in the future. Perhaps we can make the pain less, but I think pain comes with a purpose and the lessons we learn through it are lasting and valuable as long as you don’t let them make you bitter. Allow them to make you better!!!

“The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”  Steve Maraboli

“Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.”–  Shannon L. Alder.

“If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go the past that drags you down.”   Amit Ray

“In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.”  –Deepak Chopra

 

22

Achieving Some Personal Growth

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personal growth
These walls are built when we are young and live in our minds as limiting beliefs.

Look around and see what is there to stop you from achieving personal growth. As I examine the life that I am living, I see things that limit what I can accomplish. There are walls, both literally and figuratively, around me, making taking some actions seem difficult to nearly impossible.

The excuses of life are used, one on top of another, each with their own fear. Unfortunately, it appears that once you start to accept limits in one area of life, they will creep into all parts of your life and stop you from being your best and accomplishing your worthwhile goals and dreams. Don’t be discouraged. The exciting thing is that if you look inside, there is an answer. It is the strength and courage to accomplish great things. You have to believe in yourself, and doing this is the best kind of personal growth.

Beliefs Lead to Personal Growth

I believe that all of us are born with the ability.

personal growth
Escape to the greatness of your potential. Look deep inside of yourself and see what is there.

And the potential to be great and to accomplish fantastic things. The barriers we have built for ourselves often hold us back from achieving success in our pursuits. The simple belief that “I am simply not good enough.” Or “I don’t deserve it.” can stop almost any endeavor before they have a chance to get off the ground. These barriers are some of the most significant factors forcing us to act in a small way when more meaningful, dynamic actions are required. If we operate with a slight intention, we can’t be too surprised when the results are negligible. Only through a concentration on personal growth will we see a bigger target and act more significantly.

Understand Limits Honestly for Personal Growth

So it comes down to learning to look at your limitations with honest thought and recognition, understanding what is in your way and what is an excuse. All of us have built walls called beliefs that

personal growth
It can be frightening and painful, but action is the only way to find what you can do.

have been ingrained into us since we were very young. Some served us well and helped to keep us safe. Yet it is my recent experience that safe isn’t going to lead to growth, and only through growth and change can new things come into your life. If you never do anything differently, your life will never change, and you will never meet the goals you dream about. They will remain wisps of thought, floating out in front of you like a movie on a screen. It is just imagination, and it isn’t real. By making a plan for personal development and taking action, they can become real and tangible parts of your life.

Positive Choice for Personal Growth

The choice is to start to look for a boulder answer. To stop limiting ourselves and move forward toward our dreams with an understanding that success, in one form or another, is out there and only through action and belief in ourselves is it attainable. There is greatness in each person, and it is time to knock down the walls that limit you, which are merely the creation of your thoughts and experiences. Your

personal growth
Only escaping the walls of your limiting beliefs can make others see your contribution.

The ego will be pleased to keep you in a safe place without challenges, safe and sound. That is because safe and sound provide an illusion that looks like an excellent way to live. Ask yourself: are you satisfied? Have you reached your potential? Have you found the gold that lies inside you? Perhaps you are one of the lucky ones that have, but if you haven’t, then I urge you to reach for your goals and find the board that you were meant to play your game on and by all means, PLAY IT BIG! Escape from the walls of your perceived limitations, pick a dream, and chase it for personal growth.

With personal growth, you may even reach the Hall of Fame…………………….

“Income seldom exceeds personal development.” ―Jim Rohn

“Every moment of one’s existence, one is growing into more or retreating into less.” ―Norman Mailer

“You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.” ―Henry David Thoreau

“Life is growth. If we stop growing, technically and spiritually, we are as good as dead.” ―Morihei Ueshiba 

 

22

Have Faith and Move On

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What Appears to Be the End is Only a New Beginning

It is hard to let go of things that have ended, one of the most difficult lessons you can learn is all things have a shelf life, and when it is time to what appears to be the end may only be a new beginningmove on, you need to be able to do this with faith. Understanding what you are moving toward is a piece of the puzzle you will need to achieve dreams and have positive things happen for you.

Relationships end, jobs are lost, people relocate, loss occurs, and even though there will be a natural pain coming with these experiences, it is a normal part of the grieving process. It isn’t easy, but it is part of being human.

Many people, including myself, have had issues moving on when a loss occurs. Even though it is obvious the time is ripe for change, new and exciting things are on the horizon. It is human nature to look back at the idealized safety we created in the past instead of moving with courage into a future, allowing you to chase and realize all of your dreams.

Moving led to new beginnings

Moving can be a traumatic experience for anyone, especially when you are a kid. I moved when I was 1, and at the time, I thought it was the biggest tragedy a person could experience. I had a great group of friends I had known all my life, and I knew where I fit in. I was comfortable and happy. Moving was traumatic. I had to deal with people who didn’t know me, and

beautiful reflection
Let Go And Begin Anew

might not like me. There was a lot of initial trauma, and I spent a lot of time worrying about what I was missing out on in life. Still, eventually, as I pushed through the new situation, I made some new friends and had experiences that I would never have had, both positive and negative, that led to growth.

Left to my own choices, I would have taken the most accessible road and missed some great things I have found. Everything in my life has led to growth, allowing me to evolve, and I learned valuable lessons. There was a lot of Idealizing of the past, but there is no way you can argue with your current reality.

Death and Dying

Experiencing a loss of a loved one is difficult to deal with, and nobody would ever characterize it as a good thing. Still, it’s my experience that you can gain something positive from this experience. Perhaps a better appreciation of the relationships you still have in your life or a greater awareness of the world around you. If you think of those who have passed with love, they are always with you. If they are inside your heart, mind, and spirit, a part of them is still alive.

Maybe the lessons that the loved one passed on left with you are lasting things. For myself, everyone whom I have lost has left a positive impact on my life. I am eternally grateful for the gifts they gave me. There were examples of how to live or how to treat other people guiding me through my life. I miss them all. I appreciate them all, they didn’t want to go, but it was their time. Cherish all who matter to you and treat everyone with kindness and dignity.

Losing a Job

When it comes to losing jobs, many have come and gone in my life. Some I liked and was sorry to see them go. Others not so much. In some cases it

starting over not the end
Starting Over Is OK

seemed like the end of the world when the job ended. In retrospect, I can always see the positive that came out of a seemingly negative situation. It could be that it was personal growth or a better experience that allowed me to be happier as a person.

It can be devastating as you get older to start over, but what a great gift it can be to allow you to grow and find what will make you happy. My experience is that the real problems come when you spend your time worrying about the past instead of addressing today. As traumatic as losing a job can be, a job does not define who you are, and your life isn’t ended because you lost a job. Change is life. I have always chosen life.

Relationships Ending

Relationships, unfortunately, end at some point (sometimes). People move, things change, priorities differ, and unexplained cruelness. These lessons are hard to deal with, and these can be with friends, coworkers, or in intimate relationships. All relationships have a cycle, and it is just some are larger and longer than others. If you look at the entire board of life, all relationships eventually end—even the most reliable end with one of the participants’ death.

Every person who comes into your life is there for a reason and often teaches you something. There are friendships I have had that have been lifelong. Some relationships lasted for a few years or even a shorter time. I appreciate them because I have learned a lot from everybody I have ever met. Even those I wish never happened because of the pain they caused brought learning experiences to me. Although sorrow was the teacher, they have made me stronger and hopefully a bit wiser.

Sometimes the lesson was how not to behave or what not to do, but most often, the experience is about how you can grow as a person. Letting go and appreciating the lessons you learned becomes more complicated when emotions are involved. Love is one of the world’s best feelings, but the fear of losing love has led to many personal tragedies. Time is the only cure for love because eventually, everyone gets the lesson and appreciates the great things that love has given them. Ultimately, you have only two choices, learn something or be miserable. Which is a better way to go through life?

The next time you face an apparent ending, take a moment and attempt to add some perspective to the situation. Once you get past the fear of losing something, you may find a silver lining if you allow it to work in your life. Look at what you learned and gained in wisdom and experience. Take that lesson with you into the future, and appreciate those giving you something positive daily. Value the experiences of life, and don’t be afraid of the changes inevitably coming your way. You have changed, life has changed, and everything will change again before you finish with this ride. Embrace all the good moments you have and the people you spend them with.

“You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling, but the staying down.” —Mary Pickford

“Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” —Guy Finley

“The beginning is always today.” —Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” —George Eliot

 

22

Quiet Spaces for Rejuvenation

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As a younger person,  I often got impatient with what life brought. Hurry up! Let us get to the next stage already. Being impatient is one of the weaknesses and follies of youth. There are patterns in life, and each has its purpose. As a young person, I didn’t look for them. Life presents many challenging circumstances, thrills, accomplishments, and disappointments. Breathing space is defined as a temporary interval of quiet or lack of activity, a time when life gives you a space to look around and take a breath or two. There is a lull period after any big moment, positive or negative,  where a person needs a chance to gather themselves before moving toward the next goal, adventure, or challenge. It is a natural time to reflect, evaluate, and adjust to your life. Learn to value the lulls.

Lack of Action time

Unfortunately, the period of breathing space is not appreciated or valued particularly highly in our society, and it is looked at as wasted time or an unwanted time of emptiness. We work to fill all of our moments with something. Games, TV, movies, or music in the background all engage our minds and stop us from thinking. We are afraid of the quiet because of what we might learn, feel, or remember. These things might lead to change, but they will also lead to a greater appreciation for the lesson you just learned and how to apply it to the life you have in front of you.

Reflection is one of the most valuable things that I have taken from the space designed to catch your breath in my life. One of the best times happened when I had a chance to relax and reflect on what I had just experienced. Whenever there is an ending, take time to reflect on the experience. It may be only for a moment, or it may be longer, but we should use the time to evaluate the situation you have just gone through and process it appropriately. Recognize when you were wrong and just as important when you were wronged by someone else. Learn from what happened and realize the hard lessons a seemingly friendly person with poor intentions can cause.

How to Process

Processing the past can be difficult. It is always hard to get through the painful feelings to see the value of the experience. However, until this point, each occasion I have had has presented me with a value of some sort. Not all experiences are pleasant and warm, but that is not what life promises. Everything we see, hear, and do is design to allow us to learn something. If the same thing keeps coming to us, then there is something that we haven’t learned and need to face again. Like a student needs to pass Algebra 1  before moving on to more complex math. We need to retain specific life lessons before we move on to something else.

So take a moment and list the positive and negative things you have faced in this particular experience. What is the value? Sometimes the value isn’t known until you get down the line a bit from what just happened. Connecting the dots is easy to do. Looking back, those dots reveal the value of a situation. Even the most challenging circumstances teach you lessons. Probably precious ones. Process all things and learn what you can, and take it forward.

Cherish Quiet Moments

Reflection is a time that I have learned to cherish. To look at even bad situations that are not enjoyable to find the lesson. It has always been there, and if you don’t learn it now, it may just come up again later. Before long, you will be on to the next adventure of life, and there won’t be time to look back appropriately and find the value. When the lulls present themselves to you, take advantage and enjoy the moment. Seek the motive, understand

There is a lesson to learn about relationships, jobs, trips, the climb, the project, the graduation, the birth, the death …………  There are the answers you are seeking in a moment of quiet. They are waiting in the ripples of a lake, underneath the rocks of a river, or in the quiet moment. Take time and look for them. They provide beauty to all of life most people miss because they are too busy avoiding thought to look inside the lull and understand the message that is living there.

Life is full of patterns, of “highs” and “lows” that are only different moments of mental intensity that allow for learning or understanding. Many live their lives with questions and never take the time to seek the answers. Experience makes a deal with us that there is always a reason behind it. In reflection and contemplation, we will find it if you can recognize the lull and appreciate the silence and thought that it provides.

“Solitude is very different from a ‘time-out’ from our busy lives. Solitude is the very ground from which community grows. Whenever we pray alone, study, read, write, or simply spend quiet time away from the places where we interact with each other directly, we are potentially opened for a deeper intimacy with each other.” -Henri Nouwen

“We need quiet time to examine our lives openly, and honestly – spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.”- Susan L. Taylor

“It’s important to have quiet time and isolation.”- John Burnside

 

22

Filling Up Your Space

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empty space inside of you
What do you fill the space inside of you with?

We each have space inside us that exists to fill with all of the things that matter in life. From birth until we leave this experience, people decide what will fill their space most enjoyable. All of the things we pay attention to and the actions you take fill that space. As we grow older, the decisions about space will be more critical. When we were 20 years old, when something that filled our space no longer seemed to fit and we let it fall away.  There were events, relationships, and other experiences that filled the spaces inside of us. But they are long over and we have to let them go, so there is more room for new life to get in. We have to let things slip away from us and move comfortably into the past. What is in your space that you should let go of? What should you keep?

What Fills Space?

We are always looking for the “stuff” to fill the space inside us. Sometimes we think it is another person who will fill up space and allow us to feel complete. Other times it is material things that we

What are your hands full of right now that is stopping you from grabbing what you really want?
What are your hands full of right now stopping you from grabbing what you want?

Purchase to feel useful and valued. Still, there are other unhealthy activities that we delve into to fill the space inside of us. It can be the overconsumption of alcohol or drugs that we use to fill the holes. Each of these attempts to feel complete falls utterly short because They are temporary solutions to the problem.

You can never fill your space from outside of yourself. We always look for the next “thing” to make us happy. The following relationship is going to be the one that makes us happy. The next job will provide a feeling of competency, and the next new gadget we buy will fill that space.  However, we never really get what we are looking for because the thing that can fill the hole inside us is accepting and loving ourselves and who we are. That is what fills the space.

Limiting Beliefs

Most of us have limiting beliefs about our abilities and what we deserve to

Simple model to follow to rewrite the beliefs that limit you.
A simple model to follow to rewrite the beliefs that limit you.

Receive in life. Most are based on feelings and experiences we learned when we were very young and have hung onto, allowing them to affect us negatively years later. One of the bigger ones many people carry around inside is that they don’t deserve to have things. Money, love, material possessions, all are game for this. If you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy in life, you certainly won’t experience happiness.

The beginning of filling that space in you will come when you start to evaluate your own limiting beliefs about your self-worth. Each of us has an individual value that can’t be duplicated. You are the only one who can be you and make the contribution that you can make to the world. There is a space inside us waiting for us to find our talent, skill, and gift, and then we will feel whole.

Fill your space by discovering your passions and following them. Often we follow what we think we should be doing, from the job we work to the place we live. Each decision is based on society’s collective “dream” and what should be the safest and most realistic.

The empty space you feel inside won’t be filled by doing what others think you should do. It can only be filled by what your heart knows it must do.
Follow your heart and fill the space with the substance of your unique abilities.

“You begin to fly when you let go of self-limiting beliefs and allow your mind and aspirations to rise to greater heights.” ―Brian Tracy

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” ―Mary Kay Ash

“Do just once what others say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.” ―James Cook

“Learning too soon our limitations, we never learn our powers.” —Mignon McLaughlin

“Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world.” —Arthur Schopenhauer

22

I Chose It

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What if you approach everything coming into your life, “good” or “bad,” as if you chose it?

Challenges appear for everyone in life. We live, have experienced, and create ideas of a life without problems, in which we sail along on calm and friendly waters, but life often has other plans. Before you know it, there are scenarios you have never dreamed of touching your life and knocking you around.

Suppose there is something great inside you to develop your unique greatness. In that case, it takes a challenge or two, So even though life would be more comfortable if we were allowed to relax, put our feet up and enjoy the view, this is not the most beneficial thing for personal growth. We have a conscious choice to make when these challenges of life come. We can feel sorry for ourselves because something is happening that will take our best to overcome, Or we can be grateful for the opportunity to grow.

It is easy to say you will choose to be grateful, but when the hard times come of heartbreak, regret, and grief, it is all too easy to give up or retreat to self-pity for what you are currently going through. It takes all you sometimes have to regroup and overcome a challenge, but that is what life is all about.

The Way You Look At It

The difference between the two mindsets is based on how you look at things. Looking at life from a mindset of fear, every challenge seems overwhelming. Our focus is on a fear of loss, fear of what others think, fear of losing your identity, or just plain old fear of change. All of these are constant companions in life because of our experiences of pain in our past, working as continuous reminders. They usually bring the other time-waster, worry along with it. The choice to suffer is based on fear but worse because it involves using your imagination to construct horrible things in the future. It is paying now for problems in the future that will probably never happen, But there is a false belief in all of us that if we look for all the bad that might occur, we will never be negatively surprised. This theory is the real fantasy.

Problems will come unlooked for or not, no matter how diligently you seek them. Most often, we don’t choose them, and they are unavoidable. Nobody would accept them in their lives. That is not where the choice lies, and it lies in the reaction to the challenge. There are a million stories about people overcoming all types of adversity because a person chose a positive mental outlook. We all can choose to see the positive value in all situations we face.

Faith

Sometimes it may be difficult to see the good in a situation, But it always exists somewhere, just as there is a negative attached to every positive. You may get a new job, but you have to leave the old one behind. You may become famous, but that limits some of your freedom. Becoming wealthy can change your outlook on life, and those you know may not treat you the same.

Conversely, you may lose everything only to find the secret to success; you have been looking for real insights into who you are, and how you look at life will come after you have been hurt or disappointed in life. Rising to success is good, but growing to progress after being knocked to your knees defines greatness in life’s experience.

Seeing the positive potential of all things is an active and powerful example of faith in action  Nobody looks for difficulties  All we can do is make choices we feel are in our best interests. For a better life experience  For us and those we love  Each moment, we are faced with this choice to see things as an obstacle to allow you to grow or a barrier to keep you from becoming  That is a choice, that is your choice  Faith in the positive aspects of nature. The world allows you to see the opportunities for growth sitting right at your fingertips every day.

Take a Moment

Take a moment in a situation to think before you react emotionally. Anger is often the face of fear and a first thoughtless reaction to an attempt to assert your power over something. To find happiness, we have to go beyond the initial, knee-jerk reaction and let go of the need to control everything  Because we can’t. Your ego has been conditioned to think this way, and our egos are problem starters, not problem solvers  The need for control, the need for approval from others, and the need to judge others are all negative messages of the ego  When they can be avoided, life is a much gentler and happier ride.

So instead of falling into the trap of small ego thought, take a moment and allow a broader scope of perspective to develop. All of us are capable of seeing more of the field of possibility and creating a better result for ourselves from the challenges we face. When you can accept yourself exactly as you are and accept others exactly as they are, you will finally experience peace  Life is full of decisions, and you have the gift of choice in every moment of every day. Nobody else to blame for your unhappiness than yourself, So be grateful for the challenging days, just like you are for the good days, and see how your life changes.

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act. The rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its reward.” – Amelia Earhart

“When bad things happen to you, focus on what you can learn from it. If you focus on the bad, you’re doomed to repeat it.” – Mel Robbins

“And we have complete control over our own attitude  We are the ones we decide how we feel, how we look at things, how we react.” – Catherine Pulsifer

 

22

Raise Your Energy

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Vibration—a person’s emotional state, the atmosphere of a place, or the associations of an object, as communicated to and felt by others.

The Universe runs on laws that dictate everything. One of these is the Law of Vibration, which states: Everything in the Universe vibrates or offers a vibration. When it comes to an understanding how things work, this is a great place to start. All items have a level of vibration, focusing on everything from quantum physics to holistic medicine. Since you and I are a part of everything, we also offer a beat, and what constitutes that vibration is where our focus of thought most often lies. We have complete control over this because we are the only ones who can decide how to react to anything.   The frequency at which we vibrate is determined by the thoughts we think, the corresponding emotions, and our actions at any moment of each day. You are responsible for your life experience — nobody else.

High or Low Vibrational Frequency

Since we all have a frequency and vibration, our thoughts bring energy to our life. Positive thoughts and their corresponding emotions vibrate on the higher level of the scale. While negative thoughts and feelings vibrate at a lower level, they will have that effect on your life. Knowing where you are on the ranking of vibration is essential because it directly relates to what you are inviting into your life. Like attracts like. When you drift into a bad mood, you have decided to focus on something negative. Changing an attitude is as simple as consciously changing your thoughts.

Look at the thoughts that you focus on and the emotions that result. It is, again, a simple choice for me. Ideas of joy, peace, love, hope, humility, acceptance, understanding, kindness, empathy, and truth will create a higher vibration level. At the same time, a focus on the fearful thoughts of anger, judgment, hate, jealousy, resentment, greed, lies, or ego will vibrate on a lower level. I am not judging, just observing. I see these thoughts in myself and have to deal with them. Each of us has a choice to make in our actions and interactions with others. The decision we make will define us to the world and ourselves.

Choosing Your Vibration

The choice is a simple one. Be conscious of your thoughts and understand that a lower-end vibration results when you entertain fear and let the emotions permeate your consciousness. This result is essential to understand, and I think it isn’t easy to accomplish anything from this level of consciousness. Honestly, look at your life and when you have been operating at your best. What were you thinking? Feeling? Doing? It is often something you believe and feels optimistic about in you.

To start choosing the vibration you offer to the world. It begins by looking at your thought and noticing where it leads you emotionally. Then choose to follow the positive and move away from the negative. This movement doesn’t mean you ignore bad things, but you don’t wallow in them. Change your focus from conflict and separation to cooperation and acceptance. In the end, it is all up to you, and the reality that you experience will be a result of the choices you make. Some people can’t seem to move their thoughts in a positive direction because their conditioning on a subconscious level is negative. That is not a death sentence to positivity but a roadmap to improvement. Seek high vibrational activities.

High Vibrational Activities

Activities you can participate in that will allow your vibration to rise are common sense. Increase your level of physical activity. The human body wants to move, and the mind releases endorphins that improve your mood, make you more optimistic, and allow your vibration to rise. Not to mention the added benefit of having a higher quality of life. Spend some time contemplating nature. Noticing the things that naturally occur all around us can create a more positive mood in your life. Being conscious of the foods you eat can raise your vibration.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that there are things that feel good in life and those that don’t. Being honest, practicing kindness, meditation of some kind,  and pure gratitude for what we have in life will create a higher vibration. Focus your thoughts on these things and see what makes in your life—thinking of others before yourself and being unselfish will also vibrate on a higher level.

Lower Vibrations to Avoid

These are as varied as there are people in the world. For me, a good rule of thumb is that if it doesn’t feel right, it should. The mainstream media is something that I avoid because they sensationalize events to create fear for the sake of ratings. There is nothing positive about their productions, and most are overhyped looks at people’s worst behavior. But simple things like judgment, gossip, and even sarcasm can vibrate lower because they are harming someone else. You can never hurt someone else without hurting yourself, which is the vibrational truth.

Avoid people who are continually complaining about things or criticizing others. You can feel the negativity, which will stay with you for a time. At the very least, it will take a bit of effort to get yourself back on the upbeat track. Life is too short to waste, criticizing others and their choices. Focus on the positive choices you can make.

Your Overall state of being

Life will be defined by the choices you make in thought. Each decision carries its energy into your life and the lives of those close to you. It involves the way you eat, sleep, exercise, and work. Take a moment to look at all of these areas. See if you are vibrating on the low or the high side. Like attracts like and living at a higher vibration allows you to draw more of the same into your experience. Spend time each day looking at the manner you treat other people. That is your gift or curse on the world. Each person matters as much as the next. How you treat others provides a mirror you can look into to see yourself. What you give to the world will get back in return. It is Karma.

“Vibrate at the highest frequency possible.”- Anonymous

“Everything in life is vibration.” -Albert Einstein

“Your vibration or energy state is a blend of the contracted or expanded frequencies of your body’s emotions and thoughts at any given moment. The more you allow your soul to shine through you, the higher your vibration will be.” -Penney Peirce

 

22

Why People Lie

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what is honesty?
Live honestly

 

***Always Be Honest–

How much is your integrity worth?

What can you gain by being dishonest that you can truly enjoy?

A wise man once told me: “If your word is worth nothing, then neither are you.” That statement has stayed with me over the years, and the older I get, the more I analyze everything I say and the value of the truth. I was also once told that everybody lies at least once a day. At first, I was angry about that comment. But then you look at all the things we say not to upset anyone. Looking at the thoughts you have and your words that result, evaluating them for honesty is essential for developing your integrity and how much other people can trust you. Let’s look at why people are dishonest and the price they pay for doing this. These are the actions we take in dishonesty.

Definition of Honesty

Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and denotes positive, virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, and straightforwardness, along with the absence of lying, cheating, or theft. That seems like a pretty straightforward definition, and not very difficult to see the benefits of making this choice. It all begins with the decision we make every day in our lives that decides how our honesty will affect our lives. Nobody can choose to be honest for you, and the entirety of your life will reflect the amount of goodness you value.

Additionally, an honest person will inform others of the opportunities for growth and self-actualization. There is no room for silence in the moments when a situation calls for your honest evaluation to assist a person find a better path. Even though most people don’t want to hear the uncomfortable truths, is it better to lie? Be open about your life and your philosophy with all you meet. They will know what to expect from you and trust what you say. Doing something or saying something to manipulate others into doing something beneficial for you is deceitful. Be honest, even when it is difficult, and in the long run, it will work out for the best.

Why Honesty Is Difficult

When you look at being honest and telling the truth, it would seem simple to practice. When you make a statement, make a truthful one. However, it appears that being honest is a little more complicated than that. So many people don’t want to hear the truth. Here are some of the main reasons people don’t always tell the truth are:

  • Fear of harm: The most straightforward idea to understand why we lie is for self-protection, including self-deception, to prevent injury to ourselves. This harm can be either physical or mental. However, what is the damage? A momentary uncomfortableness? You have to measure if the benefit is worth your integrity.
  • Fear of conflict: To some degree, we all fear conflict because it is painful and uncomfortable. Life is more comfortable when things flow smoothly. But creating calm with lies is only delaying the inevitable storm, and it will come with higher intensity when it arrives.
  • Fear of punishment: When growing up, how often did we lie about how well we did in school or started a fight? How often do we cover up our mistakes and transgressions? Accept responsibility for all things. We make excuses that give all of our power away, and accepting responsibility puts all the power in your hands.
  • Fear of rejection: Sometimes, our insecurities are the foundation of why we lie to each other because we want to remain popular in our relationships. Typically, it is harmless boasting to make ourselves appear more admirable to other people. Better to be true to yourself and who you are than to live a lie. If people don’t like who you are, there is no need to spend time with them.
  • Fear of loss: This is usually the loss of personal objects, such as money or expensive possessions. Greed is the foundation for this reason and can be found in us. We often lie to make ourselves more desirable to other people, too, fearing the loss of that relationship. Some people lie for fear of alienating someone they care about and again losing that relationship. Other times, when our self-esteem starts to decline, we even lie to ourselves as a means to prevent loss of morale. No matter what you are afraid of losing, better to address the issues head-on with honesty. Then you can take real action to find a result that will benefit your life.
  • Altruistic Reasons: We often lie to help our friends and loved ones. How often do we flattery someone to make them feel better? Or don’t tell the whole truth because we are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings? This is the only selfless reason why we lie. However, it doesn’t pay off in the long run. Better to be honest so that all people can work from a place of knowledge and acceptance. Lies are harmful and build negative energy in the situations of your life.

It comes down to a matter of integrity. Do your words have any truth in them? Should anybody trust and listen to what you say? Being honest is essential because nobody will ever imagine or believe you if you are not trustworthy. If you lay about one thing, you would lie about another. Where do you draw the line morally? It is a slippery slope once you start to blur the lines of acceptable behavior.

Integrity and trust are not things that you can easily replace. Value them as much as gold. Those who lie continuously and repeatedly will pay the price in all areas of their lives. If you can’t trust yourself to tell the truth, how can you ever trust anyone else?

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” -Thomas Jefferson

“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.” – Spencer Johnson

“Honest hearts produce honest actions.“- Brigham Young

“To be persuasive, we must be believable; to be believable, we must be credible; credible we must be truthful.“- Edward R. Murrow

 

22

Still The Mind

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Silent- Completely absent of any sound.

silentLife has become full of noise and sound. It is hard to escape it wherever you go. There is background music in restaurants, and people are always making noise, so finding a silent place is nearly impossible. More importantly, there are a few times when we experience the joy of quiet peace in our minds. Left unchecked, our minds will produce a continuous production of thoughts. I have heard this described as the monkey mind—constant chatter for no real purpose. So the challenge today is to start to become more conscious of the silent peace one can achieve in thought, word,  and action.

How to Still Your Mind

Once the word meditation is mentioned, people let their preconceived notions take over. Many picture something strange, or a process of sitting cross-legged on the floor and chanting some peculiar mantra. This stereotype allows them to dismiss the benefits without ever trying it. Meditation is simply a conscious effort to calm and control your mind rather than the other way around. Finding ways to make your thoughts silentsilent for a minute will allow you to communicate with your intuition and heart. It isn’t a complex ritual to follow, and you can do it anywhere. If the desire is to make your mind more silent and create a more peaceful existence, there is no one way to do this. Prayer is a form of this and works in my experience.

The simplest way to meditate and quiet my mind is through controlled breathing. I use a simple count of 4 to take in a breath, hold breath, and then release that breathe. That is what works for me, and it does help me relax and create a more silent mind. I heard it explained that when you give the “Monkey Mind,” a task like counting breathes, it stops making wild thoughts.   In the silence, things become more apparent, and answers to questions come more easily. This path is just one way to meditate, and there are hundreds of processes available to all people as close as youtube. Log on and look for something that will resonate with you and find a more silent mind. I use an app on my phone to help me called Insight Timer. There are many to provide guidance.

Advantages of Silence

Silent and listening have the same letters, and I don’t believe that is a coincidence. When conversing with someone else, it is a chance to learn and share. Allow another person to express themselves to the silent presence of your attention. Do not think about your response until they are silentdone. This will help you not guess or make assumptions about their point, but to hear the concern, thought, idea, or needed action someone is experiencing. It will also help you grow as a person to remain silent in thought, word, and action when you are having a conversation.

Maintain a focus on learning, not a guide to dictating an answer. This attitude can be helpful in any conversation with your loved ones of any age. Please give them the courtesy of silent listening to all of their concerns. They may not want advice or opinion, and they may wish to express what they think to someone they trust and value. This connection will become evident as you get to the end of a conversation. Being silent is the only way to listen.

Tips for Quieting the Mind

So seek moments that are silent today. Be conscious of it, and even try to silentcreate them through a meditative practice that works for you. Raising your consciousness to find and create silent moments with your thoughts, words, and actions will change your life and allow for more meaningful connections with others and yourself as well.

The silence of the Mind Quotes

“I’ve begun to realize that you can listen to silence and learn from it. It has a quality and a dimension all its own.” ~ Chaim Potok

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” 
― Will Rogers