Tag Archives: personal growth

21

Inside Story

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Inside– the inner part; the interior. 

People are continually looking outside of themselves for acceptance in the world.  They look to friends, family members, society in general, or institutions to evaluate their progress in life.  They are looking in the wrong direction because all of those things are outside of us, and the instructions that matter are inside us.  What do you think of yourself inside?  Are you a good person?  Are you giving? Are you kind? Are you smart? Are you meaningful?

All of these answers come from within your existence, and those answers are the ones that matter.  What you think and feel inside your being, where nobody else can see, define you. To make sure that you are positive on the inside, you need to develop your awareness of the conscious thoughts you have about yourself and your abilities. These thoughts will determine way more about your knowledge and what you can accomplish than anything outside of you. The ideas you entertain, the emotions a person connects to, the words you speak because of these thoughts, and of course, the resulting actions that create your reality daily in life.

All Things Were Created Inside

There is no object in the physical world a person created without being a thought inside someone’s head first.  When you think about this, your appreciation for what is happening inside of you grows.  You can develop the next significant invention because all you need to get started is a working mind and the ability to follow through with your thoughts.  The thought is just a first step, and if no other measures are taken, your creation will stay just an idea.

To bring a thought into reality takes making a plan. Things created in the brain can become a reality, but a person needs to develop steps to bring those things into existence.  That is all from the inside of you as well. It can be demanding as you get the inside stuff into reality. Some might not like it, or they may be jealous or have some other adverse reaction.  The key is to remember, those are outside things and have little to do with your inner thoughts and vision unless you let them.  If the first thing you try doesn’t work, don’t give up. Learn the lesson and move forward and adjust your steps to accommodate new information. Follow the process until the inside idea becomes an outside reality.

Our Resolve Comes From Inside

Challenges are a part of life. We get a push by the experiences we face. All beings are touched with a problem or two. These experiences give us the inspiration we often need to dig inside of ourselves and learn what we are made of on the inside.  Because whatever happens outside, the real struggle comes within each of us. Out provides the test, inside decides how we fair against it.

A river of power flows deep in each of us, untouched for most of our lives. Yet in this current is located an innate ability to perform in big moments. When your focus is on the outside, these abilities lay dormant and never rise to the top where they can help you inside and improve the outside world. The outside world can say anything it wants and offer to help, but it is our strength and the choices that will define who we are going to be in life.

Treat Yourself Well on the Inside

How you talk to yourself will be one of the most significant factors in how much you are going to be able to accomplish in this life. There is a voice that speaks to you in your head all the time.  It forms when we are young, and it speaks to you in the same manner the critical adults in your childhood talked to you.  If your parents were caring, loving, and understanding, then so is your voice. If they were judgmental, fearful, and negative, so is your vote.  Listen to your inner voice and the self-talk that results.

All of this comes from inside of you, and nobody else can hear it or judge it.  So it is totally up to you if you decide to listen to how you speak to yourself. If it is negative, many problems stem from this, from a lack of confidence to a lack of self-esteem. But the fix is easy, change the voice, and that can only happen through conscious effort.  Speak to yourself as you would speak to someone you care about very much. Use kindness, understanding, and love to make yourself feel better.  Changing the self-talk you hear every day from negative to positive will allow you to become a kinder and more giving version of yourself.  That inside change makes the outside world a much better place.

Finally Inside

Nobody can see the inside strength that exists in you. You have to seek it out before you find it. It probably won’t happen if you spend your life being distracted by other things, entertainment, shopping, drugs, or alcohol. It will only come to you when you consciously make an effort to look at how you think and feel inside. The emotions that were resulting lead to the words you speak. All of it is based on your inner feelings, and of course, the resulting actions bring your right ideas to the outside world. Nobody can read your mind.

‘Do you know what you are? You are a manuscript oƒ a divine letter. You are a mirror reflecting a noble face. This universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you are already that.’ -Rumi.

“There is a life force within your soul. Seek that life.
There is a gem in the mountain of your body, seek that mine.
O traveler, if you are in search of that.
Don’t look outside, look inside yourself, and seek that.” -Rumi

“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” -Eric Thomas.

https://youtu.be/HXDG_dmuBps

 

21

Playing It

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Play- engage in an activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

playLife often seems to be a somber and practical experience, making people miss the truth behind it. Life is a game, and once you accept that and learn how to play it, it will become a much more enjoyable and recreational experience.  Like any game, there are challenges to overcome and strategies to implement.  Most people never realize this is the case. They spend their life soberly moving from one square to the next,  regretting moves they made in the past or fretting over challenges that may come tomorrow.  Life is a game that is played in the now because that is all you are guaranteed.  Never forget to play with passion as you move through life, and it starts with an awareness of this game happening right under your nose, with your thoughts, words, and actions.  

Enjoy The Game

We are all born into this game, I don’t think we asked for it,  but here we are.  Like all games, you can see players using different strategies to get maximum enjoyment with minimal effort.  Some play a social game as they move around the board, and others choose to be the lone wolf.  All of us are trying Playto move through the board and find the prize of peace and contentment. It seems that the players that enjoy every experience, every move are the ones that benefit the most.

There are many truths to the game of life. Who you choose to play with will determine how well you play and how much you enjoy the experience. Some have the intention of not wanting any part of the game.  These negative souls see every changing move as a problem and a potential for pain. Avoid these players at all costs because they will make the game miserable for everyone they contact in their sport.  Spend your time with people who love the game, and it will be easy to enjoy too.

Limits to Avoid

In the game of life, there are some things to avoid as you play.  One of the most important is to avoid worrying about what other people think of your moves around the board. They may tell you that you look silly or that your playstrategy will never work, or they may say they have a better plan.  Let these reservations of others slide right off you. You are the only person who can play your game, and life provides you with many lessons that will assist you in reaching the goals of happiness and contentment.  Anyone being critical of your play is probably sliding backward themselves or can’t seek the imagination it takes to move forward. Avoid listening to what others think of you. The responsibility for your play lies with you alone.

The second thing to avoid is becoming too confident in the way you play.  Life has many penalties for overconfidence, and none of them are pleasant. Be assured, but never stop being grateful for where you are and what you have in this game. That will keep you grounded and avoid the big falls that pride can bring.  You will never figure the whole match out; nobody does.  But you can learn through playing to the end all that you need to know. Gratitude is an essential fuel for the game, play it consistently and generously, and it will take you a long way.

Finally, avoid fear as you move around the game. It is natural if you are in a “good” spot on the board to stay there. But life is a running game and never stands still; one of the specific rules is that you have to keep moving and changing. Change is life, and accepting change is accepting life.   Some call this scary. Others call this opportunity.  Call it a chance because it doesn’t matter if you like it or not; that is what will happen. Things will change, and you will have to roll the dice again or spin the wheel and take the moves in front of you.  Do not be afraid. Be confident that whatever lies ahead, you will have the ability to play through it and move on to even a better level. Each challenge of the game is an opportunity for growth. Play the game and grow!

Winning the Game

Well, here is the sad truth. There is no winning the game. There is only one playing it.  The choices that you make on the way define your play and will playdetermine the experience you have. The most crucial factor in realizing is that you have a choice. Maybe not with what the game brings you but in how you react to those experiences. These are the most important decisions you can make because they will determine if the skills you have move you forward or backward in the game.  Are you climbing a ladder or sliding down a chute back to where you started?

Try not to play the victim and complain about everything.  All challenges bring with them an opportunity. To be better or accomplish something. If you choose not to take advantage of that because of grief for what has gone or fear of what might come, then take responsibility for it.  Because in the game of life, you are responsible for how you play. You and you alone.

PLAY TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY.  That is winning the game and will allow you to get the most out of it.  We have little control over when it will end but total control over the choices we make while we play. Raise your awareness of the play with your thoughts, words, and actions. Remember, none of us will get out of here alive. 

“Life is a game, and you are the player. As you master the game, so you also create it.” ― Jay Woodman.

“The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds, and words come back to us with astounding accuracy.” ~Florence Scovel Shinn

 

 

 

21

EVERYTHING

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Everything- all things, all the things of a group or class.

I have found this one fact pervasive throughout my life, EVERYTHING we do matters when it comes to our happiness and enjoyment of life.

Every decision that you make every day of your life contributes to the essence of your existence.  Each choice you make to support someone or knock them down will be reflected in your own experience.  Through my young adulthood, I never realized this. I was too worried about my existence to put much concern into the lives of others. That was a mistake and one I don’t want you to make. It all starts with a constant awareness of the thoughts you are entertaining, the corresponding emotions they cause you to experience, the words you use, and the actions you take because of them.  Everything you think, feel, say, and do matters to your existence. So choose them wisely.

Choice consists of the mental process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them.

Your Choices Count All The Time

Every day, you are faced with a thousand choices, from what you eat to where you go or your thoughts about them.  One of the most Everythingimportant decisions is how you treat other people and how you treat yourself.  Many of these decisions happen with little thought at all,  but you should be aware that each choice you make defines the substance that is you.

Your energy is a compilation of these decisions, you can keep them to yourself and not tell anyone else about them, and they will still be a part of you as clearly as if you wore a scarlet letter on your forehead.  Due to this fact, it is significant that you understand there are no small choices; they are all big choices and will help determine what types of things you will attract to your life.

Decisions On the Job

all decisions are important
What do you do at the fork in the road?

When you go to work at whatever job you are performing,  you will always have choices, which will help determine how much you will enjoy that experience. And, more importantly, what kind of person you are going to be.

It doesn’t matter if you are digging ditches or splitting atoms. The choices you make will determine your success and value at that job and in life.   Everything all starts with your attitude.  Your attitude is the most significant decision you make about your work and, more importantly, your life.

If you continuously focus on how much you hate your job, it only stands to reason that you will struggle with it.  That is your choice. If you approach the crappiest job in the world like it is the sweetest thing you have ever done, then you are not accepting that job as your end-all.  You are displaying that you are a trustworthy person with unlimited potential. If you knew someone digging ditches for a living, and they approached it with responsibility and a positive attitude, wouldn’t any boss anywhere want that person around all the time?

Wouldn’t they actively look for places that would use that individual’s talent to the best of their ability?  The answer is, of course, they would. But more importantly, wouldn’t that person be looking for situations that would use their talents better and provide more satisfaction. Only you control your attitude at work or anywhere else — everything you do matters.

Choices about Your Friends

Every Thought Counts
Choose Them Wisely

The people that you spend the most time with will have a significant influence on you. If you crave adventure, find adventurous friends. If you enjoy thought-provoking debate, seek out friends that enjoy that as well. Decide what you want to experience in life and spend time with people who have a similar disposition. Building a positive network of friends will increase your enjoyment of life. The friends who have the same values as me, like honesty, integrity, and doing what is right, even if it isn’t always easy, are valued and appreciated. They give you strength and make your life much more enjoyable.

Conversely, if you spend your time with negative people, gossip all the time, and are miserable about their lives and others, what do you think your outlook will be?   The transference from one person to another is a fact of life. The choices of association in this area significantly matter to your happiness.

Think about the people you know. Aren’t there some people who just put a smile on your face only by being around?  Unfortunately, some people make you depressed just by saying hello.  I know I have met plenty of both.  You need to choose to steer towards the positive people when you can and leave the negative folks to their misery.  You will make enjoy life a whole lot more.

Be The Toxic Avenger

If you have friends in your life who have a toxic effect on those around them, then you have two choices.  You can either totally avoid them and the poisonous foolishness that comes with them.  Or if that is not possible, the more fun method is to challenge them on every negative thought and action constantly. After a while, they will either change their perspective or start to avoid you.  Either way, you win a more positive life. Everything

When they say something negative about someone, disagree and say something you know that is positive.  Most of these toxic people are not evil. They have just gotten into the bad habit of feeling that unless they make someone else feel bad, they can’t feel right.  By choosing to counteract them at every turn, you will either make them so mad they will leave on their own accord or, more often than not, they will fall in line and agree with you.  Be consistent with this, and you may turn a negative toxic person into a positive, happy person.  That decision will be a happy one for you.

How You Think About Yourself Counts

Every Thought CountsOften, it is confusing to people who focus and make positive decisions about how they think about others. They will be doing well, but they ignore how hard they are on themselves.  And the truth of the matter is that if you don’t love yourself and treat yourself like you deserve great things in your life, you can’t be too surprised when you don’t get them.

How you decide to view yourself is probably the most critical decision you can make in life.  If you look at yourself and point out the flaws, real or imagined, you are beating up your self-esteem for no reason.  How can you expect that great things will happen for you if you don’t even think you deserve them.

The great thing is that changing this pattern of thought is as simple as changing your mind.  Really?  Don’t believe me? Then do this.  Honestly, make a list of all the things you don’t like about yourself.  Hopefully, it won’t be too long, but I know some of us are hard on ourselves.  For every negative thing about yourself, rewrite the statement as a positive.

You can change the complete statement, or more likely, replace it with something you do like.  For example, an idea like, “my butt is too big” can be changed into “I have stunning eyes.”  or  “My butt looks great!”  In the end,(no pun intended), I don’t think it matters how you change the statement because as smart as we think we are, our brains can only remember one thing at a time. If you are considering the same positive thought repeatedly, then there is no room for the negative version.

You can choose to make it a negative thing or decide to make it a positive thing.  If you think positive thoughts about yourself and your abilities consistently, you will automatically permeate success, and others will be able to sense it.  All I can ask is that you try it.  Give yourself a break. You are a good person, and there are beautiful things about you that are so attractive.  Focus on them.  What you think about yourself is all that matters anyway.

Every decision you make, from the minute you wake up to the time you lay your head back down to go to sleep, will affect everything about you and your life.  Ask yourself when you are making a choice, “Does this choice honor me.” If you can honestly answer, “YES.” Then the decision will be simple, indeed.

I leave you with one thought, and it is the one I had initially — all you do matters in life. The choices you make are yours, and you are responsible for them.  Everything will come from your thoughts, feelings, words, and the actions that result from them.  If you don’t like the way the music sounds, change the arrangement.  Everything you do will allow this to happen.

In a minute, there is time for decisions and revisions, which a minute will reverse.  ~T.S. Eliot

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.  ~Author Unknown

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The inability to make a decision has often been passed off as patience.  ~Author Unknown

Everything is something you decide to do, and there is nothing you have to do.  ~Denis Waitley

 

21

Change The World

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Always-at all times, on all occasions.

I am the kind of person that looks for exceptions.  There are a few things that seem to be always correct. I look for themes permeating through all situations and interactions.  When looking for these themes in life, I raise my consciousness and look for things that matter.  I am finding parts of myself that have value and need to focus daily to bring more positivity. What you remember about yourself and your abilities will directly lead to the success you experience in life.  Each of us has the power within us to change the world, and it is up to you to decide if that change is a positive or a negative one.  Every day, we always have choices between one path and another, one of pure positive and one of fear.  You always make a choice.  Today the focus is on some of the forces in your life which are still at your disposal.  It begins with a look at your thoughts, the emotions that connect to them, the words that you speak to express your feelings, and the actions you choose to take in the end. Invariably these things are connected.

Always Ignore the Naysayers

No matter what you are trying to accomplish in life, there will still be people who will express their disbelief in you and what you are doing.  What is their motivation? Usually, it is fear.  If you can accomplish the goals you set and took steps towards, then the only thing stopping them is Alwaysthe strength to choose.  It isn’t easy to maintain excitement about your goals because someone always seems to be deterring you. Telling you the goal is impossible. They may think it outlandish, out of your league, silly, or a waste of time.  Always ignore this.

When it comes to accomplishment, the most important thing is to try. Once you make an effort, one of two things will happen.  You will succeed, or you will fail. There is a power in knowing.  If you reach then high, you have accomplished what you set out to do. If you fail, then great. You have gained valuable information about what you need to do to make whatever you are doing work the next time.  Then you get a chance to try again with more knowledge and understanding of the process.  Always this is the case. Ever none of this good stuff happens if you listen to those who dismiss things out of hand. Still, ignore the naysayers.  They are roadblocks on the path to success in anything you do.

Always Treat People Well

All people could still do, which will make the lives of everyone you deal with, will be better.  I learned a long time ago that if you treat people well, it always comes back to you.  Be honest, be kind, understand, and stay away from being self-centered about your dealings with others.  It is an easy recipe but sometimes hard to remember. I have days when I have to remind myself of this—going to the gym. Seeing there seem to be people who are just getting in my way.

At these moments, I have to take a deep breath and remember it isn’t all about me, and change my thoughts from frustration to understanding.  We are all just trying to get through our lives.  Treating people as they want to be treated is pretty straightforward. Please pay attention to what those you care about like and then provide that experience to them.  There is no time that it isn’t the best choice to treat people well, and it will all come back to you.  I have often said it doesn’t cost anything to be kind.

Always Face Your Fear

We are all afraid of something: heights, crowds, snakes, or public speaking. Something is going to make us feel frightened.  Fear has a deeper hold on most of us as well. Fear is the opposite of love.  Now our underlying concerns exist because of something that happened to us in our experience. It could have been something that happened to you or, more often, something we heard to avoid because it might harm us.  So we live our lives being afraid of something that unnecessarily causes stress in our lives.

Always facing your fear is a good policy.  Once you do, you realize that if fear can stop you from being yourself around what you are afraid of, it can control you in other ways. Face your fear.  If you are scared of snakes, hold one. If you are fearful of public speaking, do it. Whatever it is, face it, and the realization that fear is just a thought that we give power to is all that is left.  Take that power away, and you can replace the idea with something much more productive and help you accomplish your goals.

Always Sum it Up

There are many things I could put on the list of always, love, be kind, give, be grateful, which are just a few that jump out at me.  I am thankful for the people in my life.  I appreciate them all.  I urge you to think of things you always do and look for areas to improve your experience. The lives of those around you will get better as well.

It begins with raising your awareness and becoming aware of your thoughts, the corresponding emotions, the words that result from those thoughts, and the actions that spring from them.  It is always a choice to allow a view to having power, either positive or negative. Choose well.

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”  Jimmy Dean

“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your sunshine.”   Anthony J. D’Angelo

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.”- Og Mandino.

 

 

 

21

Moving Forward

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Life is a Journey; we choose our direction alone.

Life is a journey from where we are in this moment to where and what we want to be in the future.  Some people listen to the things others tell them in regards to how their lives should look.  What job to have, where to live, how to live, what to like, how to spend your leisure time. The opinions of others will guide all of our activities and thoughts if you let them, like sleepwalking through your life. Then some people start to notice living like this, doing what someone tells you to do. Despite the fact it feels empty and unfulfilling, is no way to live.  It is for these people I am writing this. We are all on a spiritual journey, whether we choose to realize it or not.  The movement of growth in our lives is happening, and We are all moving forward into our development or hiding in the safety of our past.  That is the choice you are making every day.  Here are a few simple thoughts and tools to help you move into a more aware life of your journey.

Develop a mindset of Growth

Since growth involves moving forward, it seems our development mindset will be a vital tool to develop.  Carol Dweck wrote a whole book about it, but to me, merely understanding we can move our lives in any direction we want. The first step is not to let our patterns of thinking stop us. I know many talented and potentially great people stop themselves from success by their fixed mindsets. Look at your thoughts and evaluate where they land. I am not telling you what is good or bad for you. That is a choice we all make for ourselves.  The way forward is growth, and you are the determining factor about what you learn and what you don’t, just as I am the determining factor for me.

Fixed mindsets believe you have the talent to do something, or you don’t. If you can’t do something on the first try, you shouldn’t even try.  A growth mindset sees life as a process. You may not be able to master something in one attempt, but if you keep trying, you will eventually find success. Fixed mindset people are so afraid of being wrong and judged as faulty, they never even try anything new. A life of fear is a life of safety, but you won’t become what you want to be.  A growth mindset embraces the new, tries for the experience, not for the result.  All ends will bring you a lesson and valuable information so that the next try will be different and more successful.  What is your mindset today?

How Do You Move?

Is your choice taking you towards or away from the best version of yourself?

Each of us has an image of the ideal person we want to be. It may be how you physically want to look, or how much money you want to have in the bank, or the relationship you want to share your life.  All of our choices are either moving us toward this ideal or away from it.  Think about that, you make thousands of small decisions every day, and each one is pushing you in a direction and toward a result.  Being aware of your choices and what they mean for your desired results gives you the power to move closer to being the best version of yourself.

Where do you move to today? If you desire a great body, what food you choose to put into your mouth, the exercises you do, and the sleep you decide to get will determine your health — moving you closer or farther away from that idea. It is most important to take responsibility for our movement. It is our decisions that impact us in one direction or another.  If I choose to be in a relationship with a self-centered narcissist, am I moving closer or further away from my ideal relationship? I have to take responsibility for my choice, which has driven me further away from where I want to be. All of our decisions have power and direction. Keep this in mind as you make your thousands of choices today. Are you moving toward or away?

The Point of Choice

Let’s start looking at those choices we make in more detail.  In all instances, even the most snap decisions we make, there is a moment where two or more roads are available and open to us. This location is the point of choice, and it is from here we form and create our lives. I know I have allowed the subconscious autopilot of my mind to make too many choices for me. There is comfort in choosing the things you have

© Ciarrochi, Bailey & Harris

always done. You can clearly understand the results. But it is essential to realize just because you always choose one thing. There are a host of other possibilities out there waiting for you in the world. You can always choose a different path.

Take time in your day and look at the decisions you make consciously.  Why are you choosing the coffee you drink? The route to work? What do you wear? How do you speak to others? How do you think about other people? Is it the result you want to allow you to grow? Or are these things the choices you have always made? Safe and sound moments that hold you solidly in the past and place. You will not become something else if you cling to the mold of what you currently are. So often, it isn’t the decisions we make but our judgments about them that determine how they affect our lives.  We think something is terrible. After all, our mothers told us it was good because we saw a commercial in the media telling us exactly how to think and feel about things.  Your choice is to be a sheep or to make your path.

In the End, You Make Your Life

It is a result of your choices of the substance of your life springs. Complain if you want. Be angry about how much money you have and the career you are experiencing. Be disappointed with your relationships in life.  Then understand that you have been the creator of it all and the choices you have made.  Now you have the chance to move in a different direction, in a movement of positive growth. Have the understanding of yourself and your journey and know a step into the uncertain abyss of life is a step into development, and hiding where you are in the safety of the simple, is a trap. Get out of the web.  Life is a journey from where we are right now in this moment to where and what we want to be in the future.

“Don’t go through life; grow through life.” – Eric Butterworth

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” – Abraham Maslow

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” – Albert Einstein

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” – Jane Goodall

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it, and eventually, the confidence will follow.” – Carrie Fisher.

 

21

Questions of Life

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“He that cannot ask cannot live……..”

Life is full of questions. One of the best ways to gain information is to ask others who already have the knowledge you want to get.  If you want to make changes in your life’s experience, learning to ask questions is essential. Being willing to show you don’t know something to learn something is following the growth mindset.  Why is this the case? How do questions work? That is what I hope to answer here, today.

How do Questions work?

Asking a question immediately changes your focus.  The tone of the question will guide a person to investigate more of the same.  What am I happy about?  This is a question that is going to lead you to focus on what you are pleased about. You have no choice if you answer it.  It will lead to a list of positive things, and it is challenging to feel poorly after that.  If you ask, am I disappointed with you? Then you will open up that negative path for you.

This focus can work in conversations with other people as well. Guice them on a more positive path by asking them the right questions.  Others have to be willing to go down that path, but if they take a few steps and start answering the question, the rest will take care of themselves.  Questions dictate your focus, so ……….What could I be happy about? What is excellent in my life right now? What are you truly grateful for?  

Thoughts We Want from Questions

In establishing that focus on questions, you are allowed to determine precisely what you delete from your consciousness at this moment. Focusing on what you want to have will allow you to eliminate all oppositional thoughts.  The human mind can only hold one idea at a time, and if you are focusing your thoughts on what you want or need to do to get it, the seeds of doubt have no room even to be planted, let alone an opportunity to grow.

Challenges are going to occur in life. Rather than spending your time complaining about the challenge and giving away all your power, spend some time asking good questions about the challenge and determine how to eliminate it from your life for good. Learn to focus on your desires and delete all oppositional and negative thinking.   What can I learn from this challenge?  How can I grow from this? 

What is Available to You?

Everyone has a list of resources available to them. These are the people and things we can count on to help us achieve our goals. Learning to ask meaningful questions can lead you to contact new people or develop a new skill.  How can I turn this around? What is here that I am not seeing?  What action can I take right now that will move me closer to my goal?

As you ask questions, the mind has no choice but to seek an answer. That is how we work if we are sober and thinking straight.  How can my performance and production be improved? Learn to be curious toward positive achievement, and positive achievement is what you will experience.  Questions will open doors, not only for outside opportunities but more importantly for inner growth and personal empowerment through action.

Hear. Listen well, take manageable actions and do the best you can.

How can asking questions change your life today? 

“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco

“The key to wisdom is this – constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question, by questioning we arrive at the truth.” – Peter Abelard

“A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.” – Bruce Lee

Does anybody know what time it is?

https://youtu.be/8qssWO8NSq0

 

21

Seperation

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What invisible walls separate you from others?
What invisible walls separate you from others?

Many problems come from the illusion of separation that people have been taught throughout life. Almost from birth, we are introduced to group people and label them based on arbitrary measures. Separation by race, religion, region, economics, or any other action is designed to create an identity, but they only build walls between people. Security is a big reason for this. Where you fit in, you are safe, but later it can be attached to a person’s self-worth and value.  We are not separate; we are connected. The truth is that we are far more connected than we are different. Eliminate the separations between us, and the world will be a much more functional place.

Keep Learning and Growing

The more you learn and understand people, the more difficult it is to 428942_418665911504100_1480841243_nput a fence between you. At our core, we are all the same, and we have a soul, emotions, thoughts, and the capacity to love. Each person is blessed with the same essential functions. In this manner, we are all identical and connected.

Circumstances are different, and it is the circumstances that we tend to focus on. Fear makes people look for differences to make themselves feel more secure, self-assured, or successful. All of this is an illusion. Your success or failure is determined by your thoughts, actions, and perseverance in life. The external factors are arbitrary and have nothing to do with life’s joys or sorrows. We are connected in our humanity, wholly and unquestionably.

Behavior Alone Defines You

It is your behavior that is going to define who you are to yourself and the wayne-dyer-quoteworld. Your words can spin many stories, but your actions tell the truth of what you believe. If you look at the world as separate and look down on people because of broad labels, that shows a lack of growth. Racism is one of these things. Suppose a person judges another based on skin color that clearly defines him and nobody else.  People use the perception of separation to manipulate behavior.

The same can be said for political labels, nationalistic or geographic separations. All of the barriers that we create to separate are built on fear and fear alone. Watch the national media, really watch them. Their message is based almost solely on fear. This message is given to control you. The way you think and the actions of our leaders that you will accept. Listen and learn. Messages of love are accurate; statements of fear are false. Listen to the message.

Fear or Love

Like many things in life, separation comes down to a simple choice between love and fear. Love expands, accepts, understands, and makes f5d22fc753c32bd8a5d6c3491f012f2bthings better, while fear does the opposite, retracts, rejects, judges, and makes things worse. As individuals, we are responsible for our thoughts and our personal growth throughout life. You are not done, at 22 when you graduate college. Learning and growth are lifelong duties.

Some look at the world and see a collection of frightening problems, but others look at the same place and see the beautiful possibilities. Which type of person are you? We are all in this together, and we can spend our time fighting and fretting over our perceived differences. Or we can spend the short time we have in life enjoying our experience and erring on the side of love.

 

 

21

Imperfection

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Imperfection– a fault, blemish, or undesirable feature.

imperfectionAll of us have to face facts at some point. We are not perfect.  Our lives are infected by personal shortcomings and weaknesses of all sorts, which cause us to make imperfect choices all the time.  These imperfections may be physical, spiritual, emotional, financial, or fall under any area of our experience and/or lives.  Despite these shortcomings, the secret to enjoying life is to explore and embrace each one of them fully. Personal growth can only come from understanding.  This understanding results from looking honestly at the things we don’t like, knowing why they happen and taking actions to improve them.  Increase your awareness of your perceived imperfections by looking at your thoughts, the resulting emotions, words, and actions you experience noticing your imperfections. You will find these imperfections can be a guide to personal growth and understanding of one’s outlook.

Don’t Hide from Imperfections.

For myself, I see weakness every day. Each day I am confronted with situations that either reveal or highlight some glitches in my personal makeup.  There are clear choices.

No need to hide from your weakness, embrace it.
No need to hide from your weakness. Embrace it.

Available to me when I experience these challenges.

The first one is to try to hide them from the world.  You can ignore them and move on with life like nothing ever happened.  This can be good for a day or perhaps a week or maybe even a month or a year, but ignoring something doesn’t make it not exist.

These not-so-powerful images of ourselves do not exist to make us feel bad. They are there to provide you with a road map for improvement.  Don’t hide from or ignore your personal “weaknesses”; learn to recognize, embrace them and grow from them.  We spend so much energy hiding our perceived problems from others, and the real problem becomes the hiding of the problem and worries about it, more than the problem itself.  Embrace your uniqueness and understand it makes you who you are. Unique.  It is through understanding that things change.

See the Path to Improvement

It can be a painful thing to see your weakness on display. When I see my anger, impatience, and negative attitude crop up, it can be a daunting task to face.  Who wants to admit that they are not perfect in everything they Imperfectiondo in a day?  But it is only by recognizing where we are weak that we can see the path we need to follow to be strong.

So if I am negative about something, there is a reason it is happening, and usually, it is a personal, teachable moment.  Yesterday I got angry several times because of the actions of others.  Not bad actions, just being human and worrying about their own needs above everyone else’s needs.  I am a firm believer that anger is an emotional warning sign that shows our concern that our needs might not be met or that we are in physical danger.

It seems my anger reveals my own concerns about the ending of something and the inevitable moving on.  I am ready to move on in most cases, but there are quite a few people and work situations that I have become quite fond of, and both consciously and subconsciously, it hurts to see that coming to an end. But knowing this allows you to say goodbye or maintain relationships comfortably and enjoyably for all people.

I have a fear of these relationships.  I am rational enough to know that moving on is the best thing for me and all of the people I care about. In fact, the end has to happen for me to grow, but it still does not come without difficulty.  Without realizing this, I may let the opportunity to tell some of these people exactly how much they have meant to me during this experience in my life. I could not have enjoyed it without them, and in fact, they are all part of the combined reason it was such a memorable experience.

Grow From Understanding Yourself

So there is really no other choice in life but to embrace the weakness that shows up in your day-to-day existence.  It may be initially difficult or uncomfortable to admit, but once you do, there is a wealth of information imperfectionthat can help to guide you on your path and lead you toward your dreams.

Dissecting your shortcomings allows you to view honestly where your work needs to be spent to live a higher quality of life.  This higher quality is going to allow you a better chance to reach your full potential.  All people have a tremendous potential to be great, but life’s pain and false beliefs often cover it up. Your weakness can provide you with the key to unlocking this great potential inside you. It simply needs to be dealt with.

It is also a fact that many times it is our imperfections that make us unique and interesting.  In some cases, your weakness will push you to overcome it, either to prove your worth to others or yourself, and these motivating factors are a part of understanding why we have weaknesses in the first place.

Change is Constant and Inevitable

Recognizing a weakness is a blessing because it allows you the opportunity to make changes and improve yourself in almost any way.  We know this will happen one way or another because no matter what you do, things are going to change.  Our imperfections are not a permanent handicap on enjoying and being happy in life, and they are simply a signpost of what needs work in our lives to make our existence a greater experience.

We are all imperfect beings in an imperfect world, trying to enjoy the ride of life.  You have the potential to be great, and embracing and working on your weaknesses will allow you to find success a whole lot quicker and to enjoy the experience of life along the way.  Often it is our “imperfections” that allow us to become our strongest selves.

It all begins with a greater awareness of the thoughts we have about our imperfections. Please don’t make it an indictment on you personally. Make it an opportunity to learn and become better, and the growth that results will allow a greater level of consciousness today.

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. Marilyn Monroe

“The fact of storytelling hints at fundamental human unease hints at human imperfection. Where there is perfection, there is no story to tell.”- Ben Okri

“There would be no need for love if perfection were possible. Love arises from our imperfection, from our being different and always in need of the forgiveness, encouragement and that missing half of ourselves that we are searching for, as the Greek myth tells us, to complete ourselves.”-Eugene Kennedy

 

21

How to Think Positive

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Positive thinkingWhat is Positive Thinking?

Staying balanced in life can be difficult.  Sometimes there seems to be no rhyme or reason why things happen, and dealing with sudden, quick changes entering our reality makes it hard to understand if there is something we should or could be doing better.  In the end, shouldn’t we be happy? Shouldn’t our daily routines and struggles bring us personal satisfaction and make us feel valued as individuals?  I think that it should, and one way to do this is to practice positive thinking. But what exactly does that mean?

In a nutshell, the thoughts you entertain will dictate your reality and the enjoyment or discomfort you experience in each moment. The feeling you give credence will bring a corresponding emotional response, words, and actions into your life. Format your thoughts in a way that the results will be what you want. If you can’t control your mind and thoughts, someone or something else will.

What Positive Thinking Means To Me

We all have programming in our subconscious mind determined by our experiences. It takes our reality and interprets it in a way that makes sense to us and fits into what we know. The thoughts produced from this are automatic and consistent and will dictate everything in our lives. From the amount of success we have, the money we earn, and the love we have in life. Our ability to change these often negative thoughts into more positive ones is our number one weapon in creating the life we dream about every day.

Remember, your experience conditions your subconscious when you look at your past and draw conclusions about your abilities and worthiness. What you believe determines your ceiling of creative ability in your life. Until you choose to change, that choice is positive thinking.  In each moment, you can think in a more constructive and caring way about yourself. The decision to do this will allow you to grow.  From what I have read, most of these conditioning experiences happen early on in life, but all of life’s adventures can add to it.  Learning to recognize and ignore the negative comments from your past is the key to positive thinking to me and the catalyst for growth. 

It’s Not a Cover-Up

We all make choices that we know weren’t good.  I know I have, and in hindsight, I can’t believe how foolish and thoughtless some decisions were.  What was I thinking?  I used to beat myself up all the time about these choices, and they were a part of my daily existence.  A choice is a choice and to learn from the result is the desired experience. If your choice was wrong, forgive yourself. The decision may have hurt someone else, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.

Positive thinking does not mean to forget or overlook these negative/poor choices. It is a way to put them into proper perspective.  Accept that these things happened, then leave them in the past where they belong because no amount of second-guessing, longing, or fantasy replay in your head will change what happened in the past. But if you choose not to learn from it and seek a better future, then you are a fool. Positive thinking is knowing that you have the ability for growth and development.  Pursue it and find questions leading to your growth.  You can control the thoughts you think about any situation and experience. This choice doesn’t mean to sugarcoat things or ignore the negative, but deal with it and see the positives that can come from it.

Find A Positive Thought

positive thinkingI think that there are two schools of thought and emotion. They come from a place of love or a residence of fear. Fear brings hate, doubt, anger, jealousy, resentment, lies, inferiority, and ego. You can imagine that love brings with it peace, understanding, empathy, sympathy,  kindness, hope, truth, and, of course, love.

Positive thinking embraces the thoughts of love and limits the attention you give to the ideas of fear.  This consciousness doesn’t mean that you don’t have them because we all do.  Someone makes you mad or treats you poorly, and the thoughts of fear will arise.  You will always have a choice at this point, let them rule your actions, or recognize them, experience them, and don’t let them rule your actions. You are always in control of your thoughts if you choose to be. It starts with your conscious awareness of what you are thinking and where the view is coming from.  Anger is the open face of fear. It is a natural warning system to let everyone know you are experiencing anxiety on some level. Passion means your needs aren’t being met, or you are afraid they won’t be.

You can manage these thoughts by focusing on theories of understanding, empathy, and love. That is your choice always.

Seek Another Positive Thought

positive thinkingWhen I started to realize that I could entertain whatever thought I wanted, it changed the way I looked at the world and the people in it.  The power of knowing I was in charge of how I felt was a little overwhelming.  It made me want to learn more because experiencing life through this lens was much more fulfilling and enjoyable. Even if a little unnerving.

This learning led to more social experiments, and finding the reaction of others is almost always a mirror of the emotions you show to them.  Strangers smile and are friendly when you extend friendship.  People appreciate you when you show them appreciation.  It is not hard to look at what someone else does and enjoy the thought, time, and talent it took to create whatever it is.  Being positive about life on a surface level is more natural than negative, and it makes the world a better place. Being positive below the surface takes a lot more work, but the results will be a life you truly enjoy and create.

Be Positive About Outcomes

It never ceases to amaze me that when something happens to you, good, bad, or neutral, almost always there is a path, the growth or development in front of you; all you have to do is take it.  I have beat myself up and ridiculed myself for years about decisions in my past, only to realize I was wasting my time because of those things set in motion circumstances that greatly benefited me in the end.  I also realized that those benefits would have never been able to occur in any other way.

When we relax and let events play out, and accept what is happening, we can achieve greatness.  This letting go doesn’t mean we are off the hook on taking action because we always have a choice, and we can act.  Don’t be afraid to respond, but understand that your activity may end up in failure, but that failure may be the step you need to take to reach the highest potential that you have inside you. It can be in creativity, your career, or your relationships.

You Are Great. There is Really Nothing You Can Do About it!

Now it is time to stop blaming yourself for the past.  You made choices, you took your throws, and it didn’t turn out how you hoped.  Accept it, learn from it, and move on to the rest of your life.  You were not put on the Earth to let past programming dictate your ceiling of achievement.  You are here to be great!  Because you know what?  You are fantastic, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it! It is a matter of adjusting your thoughts to reflect that reality to the world.

Everyone is born with greatness inside of them, and some easily find it.  Some have to work harder because life is full of should haves, would haves, and could haves that will consume your mind.  Regrets shouldn’t happen because I can’t even conceive of the level of greatness inside you.  Only you can let it out.  That is about all anyone can hope for in their life.

Be conscious of your thoughts, pursue the positive about yourself, and counteract the negative, limiting ones. The thoughts you think and react to are all up to you.

 

“You are the only one who can control the way you think. Make sure you nourish the positive thoughts and weed out the negative ones!” Catherine Pulsifer

“In essence, the bulk of our negative self-talk comes from adopting a worldly standard and worldly values as the primary standard through which we filter our thinking.” – John Stange.

“I’ve always believed that you can think positive just as well as you can think negative.” James A. Baldwin

“Over the ensuing years, it was my positive attitude that allowed me to tackle and complete and compete in many diverse assignments.” Catherine Pulsifer

“A major factor in determining how our lives turn out is the way we choose to think. Everything that goes on inside the human mind in the form of thoughts, ideas, and information forms our personal philosophy.” – Jim Rohn.

This song by Stevie Wonder is an excellent guide for positive thinking. Enjoy!

 

How to change thoughts- when one comes up, switch to the other.
I could never do that= I CAN DO THAT
I’m not smart enough= I AM INFINITELY INTELLIGENT, HAVE THE RESOURCES, AND WILL LEARN.
I’ll never be wealthy=I MUST BE WEALTHY!
I’m always sick= I FEEL GREAT
I’m too fat = I WANT TO BE FIT AND HAPPY
I’m unattractive =I AM BEAUTIFUL
I will fail= I’LL DO WHAT IT TAKES TO SUCCEED
I am a loser= I WILL WIN
I can’t be bothered=I AM UNLIMITED ENERGY
I’m too tired= I MUST DEMAND AN ENERGETIC STATE NOW
That’s Really bad= WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT THAT
That’s impossible= ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
That’s really bad= WHAT IS GREAT ABOUT THIS?
I feel drained= I AM A POWERHOUSE
I can’t = I CAN
Maybe one day= I WILL MAKE THIS DAY
Hopefully= I’M CERTAIN
This is too hard= I LOVE A CHALLENGE
That’s a mistake= THANK YOU FOR THE LEARNING EXPERIENCE
What if …. = IT’S NOT HAPPENING NOW, DON’T WORRY IN ADVANCE
I should have= I DIDN’T, BUT I AM IN CONTROL OF MYSELF NOW, WHICH MEANS I CAN!!
I hate my life=. I LOVE LIFE.
21

Do Unto Others

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golden-ruleYesterday, I was reminded how simple our philosophy of life should be. We should all be treating others based on the way we would like to be treated. If we all followed this behavior pattern, it would easily eliminate many of the world’s problems. However, as we all know, sometimes things get in the way of putting the golden rule into practice. Here are a few explanations and thoughts on making sure that you are following the golden rule and doing your part to make sure the world is a better place.

Don’t Take it Personally.

Everyone at some time in their lives has been faced with someone who treats us less than fairly. These instances can be painful, especially when the person who mistreats us is a friend. Yet the truth of the 6a0105360968fe970b0134800cd908970c-500pimatter is that their choices have very little to do with you and everything to do with them. We are all living our lives through the scope of our own experience.

People with a false sense of self can justify their actions through lies or misconception. To other people, you are just a bit player in the grand play of their lives. So don’t take the poor behavior of another as a reflection of your character and honesty.  You can only control your actions and responses to the situations that you are faced with.  Face them with integrity and caring for others. Let kindness and understanding be your guide, and don’t take the poor behavior of others personally.

Be Proactive

One of the best defenses against the toxic behavior of those who do not treat you well is to be proactive in implementing the golden rule in your life. Each day provides opportunities to practice treating img_7910others as you would like to be treated, with kindness, dignity, and respect. These types of things are completely in your control. Rather than waiting for a situation to present itself to you, seek the situation to provide someone else with the good feeling of being treated well.

These are simple things, acts of kindness that don’t have to cost a penny. Kindness and respect are always good and may do more for someone than you know. The choice between good behavior and poor behavior spreads like the ripples of a stone cast in the water. What will the ripples of your behavior contribute to the world? That is your responsibility.

So All we Can Worry About Is Us.

As you evolve in your life experience, there is only one thing that you can control, and that is your own behavior, thoughts, and feelings about the situations you are faced with in life. We choose how we treat others. Are we too busy? Are we kind? Or do we feel too busy and brush other’s simple needs off to pursue our own? Do we act selfishly? These choices belong to us and are what we will be held responsible for when this journey comes to an end.

Following the golden rule will bring you to a place of peace, but most importantly, it will be a light and example to a world that sorely needs it.