The conversation occurs subtly behind the actions of

the day. It is one conversation that we should have a massive interest in, but we rarely take the time to analyze the tone or tenor of which our inner voice is speaking. This discussion is called self-talk, an ongoing dialogue inside your head that contributes commentary on the happenings of your experience.

Too often, people accept the exchange without inquiry, and it is often decidedly dripping with negativity. This negative spin will tend to cause one to be tough on themselves and give harsh criticism to their lives. Often crushing our confidence and self-esteem. All is not lost. Once a person becomes aware of this talk, they can make a conscious effort to change their inner dialogue and build a more positive inner world. If you can make this adjustment, it will change the way you look at yourself and how others look at you. It is one of the most critical skills a person can learn.

Why So Negative and Hard on Yourself?

In the development of life, there is programming that takes place. All people learn beliefs or programming through the early experience of their lives. Interactions with parents, siblings, relatives, friends, teachers, and the media, combine to let us know the rules of this game called life. Most of the messages we learn through pain, we learn to want to avoid pain and seek pleasure. The talk in your head is generally geared toward preventing evil, painful things, but things go haywire. We ignore most of the positives in life, ignoring many positive things. People choose to focus on the negative.

The programming we experienced occurred when we were between 5-10 years old and has become obsolete, outdated, or just plain untrue. When you start to notice this voice and see how negative it is, you can then choose to change your programming and not allow negative, stubborn, or defeatist thoughts to rule your mind. You have the power to create change, and it starts with a personal awareness of your thoughts. You will undoubtedly be if you believe you are incapable of doing something. It is self-defeating, and most aren’t even aware it is happening.

Be Kind to You, Change the Self Talk

As you look at the conversation and hear the comments your mind is producing, ask yourself with each one, “Is this true?”, “Is this kind?” “Is this necessary?”  If the comments are not all of these, you should probably pay no mind to them.

How you treat yourself will be relevant to the experience you have in life. If a person will not treat themselves with respect, encouragement, and understanding, then who will?

Take a moment today and listen to re are your self-talk and decide if the conversation needs to change. All people are capable of quick and dramatic change in this area only by choosing to treat themselves better. Let the negative thoughts and opinions slide by and introduce more positive thought patterns into your mind. Or to just let the voice be silent.

If you are not going to treat yourself in a caring and loving manner, why would anyone else?

Change from I can’t to I CAN

Change from No to Yes

Change from I have Doubts to I have no Doubts.

Change from Impossible to Possible

Change from I’m Unable to I Am Able

Stop expecting the worst and Demand the Best!

There is a positive opposite waiting to be noticed and used for every negative, self-defeating phrase you have ever spoken. You are capable at any time of making these changes.

Mindfulness and being aware of what is happening right now, at this moment, can force the voice in your head to be quiet because your awareness is focused on so much happening now there is no room for a talk. Focus your attention on what you see right now, what you hear, or the things you feel, taste, or smell. Each of these inputs brings you.

The Benefits of Positive Self-Talk

Choosing to be more confident in the way you speak to yourself in your mind will provide many positive benefits. First, of course, your confidence will increase because you are not listening to the adverse judgment in your mind. Secondly, you will enjoy life more because when you eliminate the constant negative self-talk, you have room for more positive thoughts, ideas, and creations. Third, you will find you are just happier in your life. Positive reviews bring with them a higher vibration, which feels right. These thoughts multiply, and soon you are feeling great all the time.

Understanding that we are not perfect, there are things we still need to learn. Falling short at something and recognizing our faults allows us to reevaluate and try again with better information. Positive self-talk will enable us to enhance our success in all our efforts. It lets you become your highest, most positive supporter. Staying optimistic about your ability to develop will move you through problems you face in life. The ability to practice positive self-talk will allow you to stick to a process of accomplishing a goal rather than just quit at the first sign of initial failure. You will build an immunity to the negative messages your mind creates to save you. Positive self-talk will give you the power to accomplish many vital goals you make. If we don’t learn to support, like, and be kind to ourselves, we can’t expect those things to be generated by others. We are 100% in control of our actions and not in control of anyone else. Why put our confidence, happiness, and ultimate success in the opinions of others.

There is nothing wrong with liking who you are and appreciating the skills you possess. To me, this is just common sense. You can be a massive fan of yourself and enjoy your life without being arrogant or condescending. Nobody is perfect, but everybody is perfectly able to be the best version of themselves. In accepting our talents and skills, we are then more able to recognize and appreciate the things other people can do and understand they are valuable. Listening to negative self-talk,  our mind often sees the accomplishments and skills of others as threats, and they are not. There is room for everyone to shine. Positive self-talk allows you to appreciate this in everyone.

Controlling the negative self-talk starts with an awareness of the voice and precisely what it is saying to you. This voice is not who you are, and you are the listener, the observer of the vote, through meditation and learning how to be in the present moment by observing our breath or repeating a mantra. You are capable of flipping the script in your mind from negative to positive any time you choose.

“Be mindful of your self-talk. It’s a conversation with the universe.”- David James

“Be very careful what you say to yourself because someone very important is listening . . . YOU!”–John Assaraf

“Relentless, repetitive self-talk is what changes our self-image.”-  Denis Waitley

“Evidence is conclusive that your self-talk has a direct bearing on your performance.”  –  Zig Ziglar