The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a book I read years ago, and I just came across my reading notes. I thought they were worth sharing. Each of us has to agree with the truth of a thought before it can affect us. Once we do accept, that thought will affect our lives positively or negatively until you choose to change it.  The book talks about fear and how fear dictates what we do, and what parts of ourselves we show to others.  The four agreements are the ones we should seek to create in our minds. Interesting thoughts.

Agreement #1 Be Impeccable with Your Word

Your words contain magic in them and the power to make your life like heaven or like hell. The magic that you wield through your words is either light or dark- a blessing or cursing yourself and others. Too many of our bad agreements about life were planted by the callousness of the words of others. And even sometimes our own.  We are all connected as one.

Agreement #2 Don’t Take Anything Personally-

All the people are living in our dream. You are but a bit part in another person’s vision. Most of what people say and do is because of their lives, NOT due to you, your value, or behavior. The best action is to stay away from the insult or adverse response. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

Agreement #3  Don’t Make Assumptions-

 

All assumptions are fantasies made in your mind about the behavior of others. See yourself reflected in the faces of others. Deal with the facts using the pure nature of your words and that of others. Truth is desired; fiction can be left behind.

 

Agreement #4

– Always Do Your Best

A simple thought can change your life negatively or positively. In each activity, each day, in every moment, simply trying to do your best is all anyone can do. If you continually strive to accomplish your highest achievement: you will embody your best to all.

Other Key Thoughts from Notes:

 

-Be who you are NO matter what someone says about you, or whatever they do, don’t take their words personally, and it doesn’t hurt anymore.  You will no longer be afraid to love, to share, or to open your heart.  NO ONE ELSE IS LIKE YOU!!

-Most people are emotionally wound

ed and sick with fear. All people carry wounds in their minds, which are open and hurting. They make us afraid to be who we are.

-Shyness is a fear of expressing yourself, and you may believe you don’t know how to sing or how to dance, but this is just repression of the healthy human instinct to express love.

-We are born into this society, grow up in it, and we are condemned to be like everyone else in it. Playing nonsense all the time.

-Fear leads to injustice- we become full of emotional poison, which eventually we have to release in some manner. Telling someone how bad they are or about all of their perceived flaws. These actions allow the poison to move from one person to another.

-Love is not about concepts: Love is about action.  To practice love is the only way to master it.

-Bad, complicated, unhealthy relationships are based on fear, drama, and the war for control.  The battle for control = no respect and selfishness, not love. “I have to control you because I don’t respect you. I have to be responsible for you because whatever happens to you is going to hurt, and I want to avoid pain.

-Team players play together but not against each other, and you are playing because you want to have fun.

-Track of love- you are giving more than you are taking. You love yourself enough not to allow selfish people take advantage of you.

• Everyone dreams of their dream. You can control your half but nothing else. Or partner in a relationship is responsible for their half.
• Know what love is and what is fear: you become aware of how you communicate your dream. The choices you make in each moment determines the quality of your communication. Just by catching the awareness of the track of fear, you can change it. Merely changing your attention can change your world.
• Love and happiness come out of you. There is no dependence on anyone else for feeling this way.

This book allowed me to look at my dream and how I was not myself in some ways. Following the four agreements can give you freedom. Just the fact that most people are not treating you a certain way because of you, but because of them has been great for my personal growth. It is being a better communicator to other people, not assuming and asking questions and being impeccable with my word and honest with all, and doing my best. The level of my best can change from day today, but I try to give it all, whatever that tends to be on that day.  I recommend this book to anyone who is seeking personal growth and understanding.

Quotes from the Four Agreements

“To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we are. Just being ourselves is the biggest fear of humans.”

“We don’t see the truth because we are blind. What blinds us are all those false beliefs we have in our mind. We have the need to be right and to make others wrong. We trust what we believe, and our beliefs set us up for suffering. It as if we live in the middle of a fog that doesn’t let us see any further than our own nose. We live in a fog that is not even real. This fog is a dream, your personal dream of life — what you believe, all the concepts you have about who your are, all the agreements you have made with others, with yourself, and even with God.”

“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their on mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in.”1

“The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.”

“All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally.”