Tag Archives: responsibility

22

Don’t Make Excuses

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One of the lessons we learn early on in life is how to make an excuse for something. We can find the most plausible excuse to justify poor behavior, poor performance, or even unethical actions. Learning to make excuses at the moment seems like a way to justify ourselves and our behavior to the world. It means that we are OK. We would have done whatever was expected if the excuse didn’t happen. Excuses are the first step in building a victim’s mentality toward life. You are not in charge; you are in reaction to whatever you face. This choice is a state of mind and will go a long way in determining the success you experience in finances, relationships, or any other area of your life. Learn not to accept a plausible excuse and accept responsibility for your situation. When you do this, you have the power to change things and create what you want in your life.

Responsibility Is Mandatory

There is always a choice when something happens to either make an excuse or accept responsibility for the situation. Accept responsibility for the situation. Making an excuse states to the world takes away all of your power and gives it to whatever excuse we are using. Even if there is a good reason for something, accept responsibility. This attitude puts all the power in your hands and will lead you to take manageable actions to counteract, correct, or rectify the challenge.

We learn early in life to find the plausible excuses that people will accept without question. An illness, a death in the family, the dog ate my homework, or whatever worked. Once you accept this victim mentality, you will start to use it more and more. Excuses seem like an easy option on the surface, but they are not. Each reason we use weakens us a bit, to ourselves and everyone we deal with. One excuse will lead to another and another, and soon you are a powerless victim for all of your life. Look at your life; at work, you find a weakness in a society where you look for excuses. Where you accept responsibility, there is a strength.

Take Manageable Actions Every Day

That strength comes in the form of manageable actions. These are steps available to you every day. Rather than making excuses, you accept responsibility for where you are on this day. That responsibility gives you a chance to take any action to change whatever you are facing and turn the day into more of what you want it to be. There is always something you can do to help alleviate suffering in the simplest terms.

The sooner you decide to take responsibility and manageable actions toward correcting the situation, the better you will handle it. An example would be running out of money, rather than waiting until you have no money left, taking a manageable action, and finding another income stream to help you make ends meet. Rather than blame the economy, a job you were fired from, the world in general, or anything else, accept responsibility for your predicament and find a way out.

Take Control and Ditch the Excuses Permanently

So it will be up to you in the end if you choose to allow excuses to rule your life or if you are going to accept responsibility for where you are and what you do, no matter what, and take action toward meeting the challenges you face. Taking action is claiming power in your life. Making excuses is giving your power away to whatever you give your excuses to. At the end of it all, nobody but you is responsible for your situation, which is reassuring. Taking action is your power of change, and there is always some action you can take. You may not like it, but you can make your life whatever you would like it to be.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” ― Anne Frank.

“The man who passes sentence should swing the sword. If you would take a man’s life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones.

“In the long run, we shape our lives and ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt.

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” ― Theodore Roosevelt

 

22

Find Your Freedom

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Freedom- the power or the right to act, speak or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

One factor that influences the enjoyment that a person has in their life is the amount of freedom they experience every day.  The focus of this word is to encourage people to raise their level of consciousness; each of us has space all around us or the lack thereof.  How much power does a person have to act, speak, or think as one wants?  Be conscious of your thoughts, words, and actions and take a brief moment to analyze why you do the things you do, say the things you speak, and think about what you believe. Are we as free as we think? Or, more importantly, are our freedoms limited by what other people think?  Look at the messages the institutions of the world are publishing and question their validity. Be yourself, not the puppet of an idea or philosophy.  Remain free.

Freedom of Thought

We are free to think whatever we want when it comes to thought. However, there are influences on our thinking all of the time. People need to be vigilant to ensure that they do not believe what someone else wants them to believe. We are bombarded with messages about what is “right.”

Silhouette of a child jumping cliff with sunset background

thought from the time we enter the world and throughout our development. Parents, relatives, teachers, friends, popular television, marketers, and media invest time training your mind to think as they would like you to.  If you are not careful, there is no room for unique thoughts because you are too busy doing what others tell you.

Please put all of that aside and look at your thoughts and where they came from. Are they something that you feel, or are they something somebody else wishes you to think?  Prejudice, hate, and intolerance are often thoughts taught to us by others. You have the freedom to dislike anyone you want. You also have the freedom to care about all people as you should. Your choice is the love, acceptance, and kindness you show toward others. There is no more critical freedom than this. You have the freedom to stay away from stereotypes and the fear-based mentality that will take away your liberties.  Love makes you accessible. Fear limits you. Your freedom is to choose thoughts in either direction and live with the consequences.

Freedom of Action

Are we free to act any way we want? In some ways we are, in the United States today, people can dress however they like, go where they want, and do the things they want to do. This surface freedom of acting any way you wish to has limits.  You can’t break the laws or norms of society, or you will be punished. These laws are working to keep us safe, but too many regulations limit the amount of freedom a person has.  Simple things like seat belt laws work to take away a person’s choice.  Even though I believe it is safer to wear a seatbelt than not. It should still be my choice.  Taking away options from people is a limit on freedom.

Look at your life and how society is trying to limit your freedom. Through awareness, you will notice your rights to freedom being eroded. Look at the limits placed on your actions and the limit of choice society wants to provide.  It is in these things that your liberation exists. Who knows better how to keep you safe and provide you with a life you enjoy, you or the government?  You or the Church?  You or any other organization?  How you choose to act and use your freedom is vital to the enjoyment you get out of life.  Be conscious of the releases of action that you experience every day.

What Does Freedom Mean to YOU??

Freedom can be a terrifying proposition. Along with freedom of thought, choice, and action comes responsibility.  This is the tricky part because you are responsible for your actions.  It can be much easier to follow a protocol and do what you are told in a job. There is no responsibility in this chain of command, and there is no original thought or creativity.  Some people only want to live in a gilded cage of illusionary freedom. That is fine for them but not for everybody. The enclosure protects you from your fears and makes you believe all is well.

If you don’t want to be limited by the system or find out what you are capable of, you have to leave the cage and face your fears. In facing your fear, the light of truth will reveal them for what they are,  just thoughts. Once the fear of freedom is conquered, there is no telling where you can go and what you can do.  The only person limiting you then is you.

What is Real Freedom?

When we are born, we are free.  As we develop through society’s teaching, our freedom is stripped away.  We learn to sit in rows, be quiet, follow directions, never question authority, and find the “right” answers to all things.  But deep inside of us all is the desire to be free. To make your line, sit out of order, question all things, and do things your way.  Innovation happens this way, and inventions occur this way. Life is changed this way.

So be conscious today of your freedom and where you can exercise it. It exists everywhere, in the world, or just in your mind.  Be aware of your thoughts, words, and actions, understand why you do what you do, and accept what you accept from others.  For every person seeking freedom of expression, there seems to be someone else seeking to repress it.

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” ~

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them, they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ― Stephen King

 

 

22

They Make Life Interesting

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There is something about a baby that brings out the emotions in everyone. Some get downright giddy and gushy about the overall cuteness of a newborn. They are tiny and helpless and seem to be a literal bundle of joy. Most people like seeing and being around babies because it brings them joy. Some do not. They shy away, make sarcastic comments, at least to themselves, and try to move on with their lives.  The difference between these two reactions makes me look at my feelings when faced with the prospect of interacting with a newborn.  I am honestly in the middle of these two reactions, but I am more concerned with understanding what is ahead of any child as they start on the journey of life.  Some are going to be fantastic, and that is exciting, but life is not all about sunshine and rainbows, and there are going to be things that are unpleasant, challenging, and downright painful in the future of even the cutest baby.  So I look at any life to understand the almost necessary hardships and challenges that are ahead.

But There Will Be Sunshine And Rainbows

On the positive side, there will be sunshine and rainbows to experience in any life.  All people will have enjoyable times with you and make you feel happy, excited, powerful, strong, loved, understood, accessible, and many more positives.  These can happen every day, and I wish everyone more of these things than their opposites.  With youth comes a lack of understanding that all items are changing, and nothing will last forever.  I know my appreciation for something of this tenor is far greater now with the understanding that times in your life are never going to come back again.  The person I was and my experiences as a younger person only live in memories.  I have been fortunate to have great victories, creations, joys, kindness, and adventure.

 

Your perspective on things and attitude about them is the most important factor a person will develop, determining how they will enjoy life.  One person can look at something and only see the wrong things, and another looks at the same thing and sees what is right.  Being able to see the good and appreciate it will make life much more enjoyable. But as I look into the face of a newborn baby, I know much of choice in this area will be made by the programming they receive over the early part of life.  What tools will they get from life? How will experience mold them? How many hard lessons will be left for adulthood and experience to drive home in the most potent way?  There are many great things in every life, but a person has to grasp ahold of them and enjoy them.

Dark Clouds and Pitfalls

All people who think at all realize there will be things in life that are not so pleasant. There are times when we will all suffer. There will be losses, disappointments, rejection, failure, unfair treatment, and bad choices, which will color your life differently.  When I see an innocent child, I have a small amount of pity for them because they have no idea what is coming. Like a tidal wave rolling through the ocean, you can’t see it right now, but inevitably it will bring destruction to a shore somewhere.  There are waves in the future.

I have seen my share of these, and they shape your thoughts, reactions, and view of the world.  The fear of this suffering can stop you from growing and cause you to play a small, safe game, and they never push to achieve anything inside their thoughts.  Some will use their difficulties to spring into a more fantastic version of themselves.  Which will this child be?  Every day, every person you encounter in the world is making this decision and living it out.  What have your difficult experiences done to you? I have had experiences that have caused me to suffer.  All were my doing, and their effect on me was self-induced.  After all the pain life can give you, I have found that there is a chance to become a deeper, more understanding, and better person.  I envy people who come to these realizations without the experience of broken things to teach them.  Each dark cloud that passed my way and every pitfall I was trapped by has taught me something. I am hoping I have learned the proper lessons.

Clean Slates and Hopes

A friend told me that looking at a child and looking in their eyes is like seeing a clean slate with the hope that all the good things in life are in front of them.  Children are always learning, and we should all maintain that aspect of childhood because we never stop being taught by experience. The blank slate of a child doesn’t last long as they are taught the morals, expectations, and fears of their parents, relatives, institutions, and society in general.  All of these factors weave their way into a person’s mind and influence how they think and what role they should play to fit into society and the world in general.  They may be buried under a pile of expectations and painful experiences of disappointment in life.  Has everything been handed to them in life? Or have they had to work for what they want?

Each slate will quickly be covered with life’s experiences, lessons, and thoughts and how they can be applied to other people in life. Each child will start to make their own decisions and develop an attitude. Some will make the world better through their light and laugh, and others will bring darkness to the world, which is the hard truth. Most people will do both at different points in their lives. Based on the experiences they are having at the time.  Without an opportunity to process and evaluate experiences positively, it is hard for someone to learn valuable lessons and not let the suffering harm them permanently. Each story of life is unique, and there are no guarantees for any child about what the future holds. And that knowledge is in my mind when I look into the eyes of a child, and it is my fear for them that rises to the surface.

But that Is Life

Regardless of my fears and feelings about life, it is still the game we are in, and we have no choice but to play it.  It is a game that can’t be “won.” It can only be processed and played out to its conclusion. So many of our experiences are directly in our control, and we have nobody to blame but ourselves for the outcome. It comes down to a simple choice, and all people have to make it for themselves.  Be responsible and proactive about your options or be reactive and blame everyone and everything else for where you are.  Wherever you choose to focus will determine the level of joy you experience and how you play your game.

Life is a package deal that will bring you a pretty equal measure of sunny days and those filled with rain. It is the way you approach each which makes you who you are.  It will challenge you, push you, and grow because when we are young children, it has a potential for greatness within us, and if we aren’t moving ourselves toward it, life will nudge us in that direction.  Those nudges can hurt.  So when you observe any person today, as you walk down the street or drive past them in a car, or sit near them at a local coffee shop, recognize the young child in them, with a blank slate that has been written on with the chalk of their life experiences.  Understand they are processing their challenges and pain.  I believe we are all doing the best we can.  In the end, I have hope for every person; it will all turn out OK in the future.  What is your story going to be?

So should you find yourself face to face with a newborn on this day, think to yourself of the challenges that will inevitably face this young innocent. Then remember that your journey has been the same and that you are doing the best you can in your journey.  Wish the child and yourself the best on the trip through life, and remember it is a relatively short game.

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”– Duke Ellington
“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”– Thich Nhat Hanh
“Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.”– Leroy Satchel Paige
“It is only in our darkest hours that we may discover the true strength of the brilliant light within ourselves that can never, ever, be dimmed.”– Doe Zantamata
“Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want.”– Jim Rohn
“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.”– Og Mandino 

22

Truth Seeker

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truth pinoccio
All people create their truths.

Truth should be a universally known entity. But it becomes increasingly evident every day each person carries their thoughts about what is true and what is not for themselves in their own life. Each person sees the world through their lens of life, which will, in most cases, support their individualized ideal of what constitutes reality for them. Anything outside that realm is rejected with judgments, delusions, or denials. My challenge for you today is to look at the happenings in your life and decide if they are correct for everyone or just for you?

Perception

Our truth leads to how we look at things, which is our perception of life. The most basic of facts comes from our basic view of the world. Is it the right place, or is it the wrong place? This fundamental thought colors all of our experiences and determines our essential positivity or negativity in life. One person wakes up and ventures out into the world, expecting a hostile,  very dark, and dangerous place, and if you don’t look out for yourself, nobody else is surely going to.

Some see the world as a beautiful place.

Another person living in the same town, maybe just one house down the street, wakes up and faces the world with a vision of kindness and acceptance. One thinks we are all in this together.

Some see the world as a cold wasteland full of dangerous white walkers.

They see the good in other people and know they are not in this altogether. They expect good things to happen, and they most often do.

These two perceptions are the basic was we all look at the world, and only you know for sure which of these paths you choose to walk.

Truth and Perception

Each moment in life will bring you a set of experiences. People leave, come. Accidents happen, great fortune occurs, success, failure, and every conceivable combination of life events. If something we believe and accept as accurate, then we deal with it, no matter if it is positive or negative. For example, a person suddenly loses the job they have been at for 14 years. A person will not be able to move on positively until they accept the loss as a part of their reality. As long as the truth of the situation is muddled through blame, anger, frustration, disbelief, or denial, you can’t move on. The same is the case for the end of a relationship. Until you accept the reality of the situation, you will never be able to move on.

Acceptance of reality should not be as hard as it is. Our mind’s job is to protect us and get us through this thing called life. It will tell you something which is not accurate to fulfill its prime directive of protection. You can’t trust what your mind tells you. It will lie and exaggerate, make excuses, and throw all kinds of judgments onto others. Being conscious of your thoughts and comparing them to what is happening in your life will show the level of truth existing in your experience.

Responsibility

This perception of truth leads to accepting who you are and the happenings of your life or putting a lot of effort into resisting things. Resistance comes in the forms of denials, postponements, and blame on everyone and everything else in the world. Whatever is happening which you don’t like is not your fault, and you have no responsibility for it. That is the attitude of failure and unhappiness in life.

The flip side of this is to take responsibility for everything in your life. Accept it and embrace it and understand even things occurring that are far removed from your direct control, you can take responsibility for and bring that into your truth of life. Taking responsibility for items puts you in the driver’s seat and controls your life and destiny. When something happens, embrace it even if it hurts because it is happening anyway, and spending time and effort resisting it, is a significant waste of time.

Final Truth

Events are what they are, and to employ any denials for that fact will detract from the quality of life a person will experience. Your truth will be colored by the perception you create about things and how any anticipated event will affect your life right now. Putting negative thoughts or resistance in a situation makes a negative experience in your life. You control how much of this type of negativity you allow in your life. You are proactive with your use of responsibility.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” ~Mark Twain

 “If a thousand old beliefs were ruined in our march to truth, we must still march on.” ~Stopford Brooke

“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” ~Mark Twain

“There is no truth. There is only perception.” ~Gustave Flaubert 

This song is about the truth of the 1980s, James Brown, Rocky, Living in America my brothers and sisters, Happy 4th of July.

21

Responsible

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Responsibility- the state or fact of being accountable 

One of the constant challenges people face is accepting responsibility for the choices they make.  The finger of blame is often the first thing people do when a situation arises. To be responsible is the best way to find solutions to problems rather than clear ourselves of wrongdoing.

Avoid excuses and look for manageable actions that you can undertake to find solutions to problems. Energy spent on anything else is going to be a waste of time.  It all begins by looking at your thoughts, words, and actions when any situation arises that is deemed harmful or positive, and you are in control of creating your response.  Be accountable for your location, and you have power.

Excuses are the nails in the house of failure.

When a situation arises, it is human nature to want to distance ourselves from all things negative. Pointing the finger at someone or something else is one of the earliest lessons we learn. We don’t want to be punished as children, so throwing someone else under that bus is a good strategy.  But it isn’t a healthy or positive one. We are only as strong as the most plausible excuse we will accept from ourselves. We learn to use reasons to avoid taking responsibility.  When this process is transferred to other parts of our lives as we grow, the first thing we look for is a plausible excuse and deniability.

What you are saying when you accept an excuse is that “I couldn’t help it. I am weak and helpless.”  That is a message that will resonate with you in all areas of your life.  You will believe that you are weak and helpless.  The fact is that you are just about as frail or disabled as you choose to be, and that choice lies in any plausible excuse you accept about yourself or your situation.  Learn to leave the reasons behind your thoughts, words, and actions. The method is responsibility.

Manageable Actions Equal Responsibility

When you are looking at any situation, begin by seeing the result as positive or negative. Then look at the causes that brought the case about. Which objects are manageable, and which are not?  For example, acts of God are not compliant, broken beyond repair, or depleted resources are out of your control. What is never out of control is how you react to it. Use that factor as an excuse, and you will fail. Find an activity that you can take, and you will most likely succeed.  Find a manageable action.

There are always actions you take or inactions you choose that help or hinder any circumstance you may find yourself in.  Identify the actions or inactions that led to your current situation. If the condition is favorable, repeat them; if the state is negative, change them. Either way, accept responsibility for where you are at. Use your power rather than give it away in the form of excuses.  You are as solid and robust as a person, as you are willing to accept responsibility for being.

Improvement Is a Choice

Therefore, it is up to you to learn to repeat the manageable actions that lead to favorable circumstances in your life.  Along with that is the talent to see the plausible excuses you are using to weaken yourself. Accept your strength with responsibility and move away from your weakness of plausible explanations. There are many good excuses for failure. If you accept one as your own, failure is where you end up.

It all starts with a focus on your thoughts, words, and actions. As you develop your consciousness and become more aware of the forces you allow to control your life, look for the steps you can take to move forward rather than the excuses you can accept to justify yourself.  The result will be success, contentment, happiness, and reliability.

“The price of greatness is responsibility.” ~ Winston Churchill

“You must take personal responsibility. You can’t change some circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have control of.” ~ Jim Rohn

 

21

Choices

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The-Choice-Is-Yours_Theme_Pastor-Steve-McCartt-Family-Worship-Center-Florence_Web-930x523In every moment, we have the power to create all our experiences in life, and they are created by our exercising the power of choice. There are choices to make in all things, and the results of these choices will lead to the nature of your experience. It applies to everything and everybody. Our choices define our lives.

Simple choices

It all begins with simple decisions in life. Should I sleep in an extra 10 minutes? Or Should I get up and choice 33attack the day? This choice could make a difference in what you experience in a small way or a large one. The routine decisions we make each day have the potential to have a significant impact on our lives. If we choose to take a specific route to work or perform a particular task, which leads to a physical injury, we have decided to put ourselves in that situation.

It is also a choice to look at our responsibility for things. We are all going to experience things that are not so great in life. Taking responsibility for our decisions can be difficult, but once you do, leaving almost any problem behind and being proactive in your actions will come naturally.

It’s all How You React

Some things in life happen which we have no absolute control over. There are crimes choices 22committed against people’s will all the time. Our choices were not to be a part of that, but we are, and our options start when we become involved. It doesn’t matter if we are involved in a flood, a crime, or the breakup in a relationship. Our choices are always ours from the moment we become involved. How you choose to react is, in fact, your personal decision. Does it make you healthier? Or Does it destroy you?

How you react to all of your experiences are going to define your life. We build walls of separation to make sure that we are never vulnerable to being hurt again. Eventually, though the walls of separation become so many, it cannot be easy to connect in any natural way at all. So it is time to make a choice, drop the barriers, or keep them up. If you are lonely, the obstacles that you have created are going to be the reason. It is hard to find somebody to spend time with, let alone one who can manage the gymnastics necessary to get over and through the barriers, you have built around yourself. Drop them; it will be much easier.

Power in Vulnerability

When the barriers we have built to protect us drop, of course, there is a vulnerability there. It is our choices1choice to be vulnerable and to be at risk of being hurt. All games involve risk; there is a risk of staying inside your barriers and dropping your resistance to change.

There is a risk in all situations in life, and being open enough to accept whatever comes your way may lead to the greatest reward. It is all up to the choices that you make. Being vulnerable is not a bad thing; it is only a thing. To live is to make decisions based on the information we have. Live big and take a chance on your goals or live small and take no chances and live inside your safe cocoon. There is always a chance of pain, but there is still a chance of something greater.

The choice is Always Yours

Choose and live your life!!
Choose and live your life!!

The choices in your life are happening all the time. You decided to read this; now you decide if you listen or agree with any of these thoughts, then what you do about it. Choose to ignore it. Choose to be moved by it. Choose to write a reply. Whatever decision you make, it is yours and yours alone. This choice and every subsequent decision will determine the day that you experience. The option is always and will always be yours and yours alone.

Take responsibility for your choices and allow life to happen. Experience it, and don’t let it destroy you. Let it make you healthy and wise.

“A mountain is composed of tiny grains of earth. The ocean is made up of tiny drops of water. Even so, life is but an endless series of little details, actions, speeches, and thoughts. And the consequences whether good or bad of even the least of them are far-reaching.” — Sivananda.

“Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” — William James.

“All around us are the consequences of the most significant technological, and hence cultural, revolution in generations.” — Lawrence Lessig.

“The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly: the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson.

21

Playing It

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Play- engage in an activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

playLife often seems to be a somber and practical experience, making people miss the truth behind it. Life is a game, and once you accept that and learn how to play it, it will become a much more enjoyable and recreational experience.  Like any game, there are challenges to overcome and strategies to implement.  Most people never realize this is the case. They spend their life soberly moving from one square to the next,  regretting moves they made in the past or fretting over challenges that may come tomorrow.  Life is a game that is played in the now because that is all you are guaranteed.  Never forget to play with passion as you move through life, and it starts with an awareness of this game happening right under your nose, with your thoughts, words, and actions.  

Enjoy The Game

We are all born into this game, I don’t think we asked for it,  but here we are.  Like all games, you can see players using different strategies to get maximum enjoyment with minimal effort.  Some play a social game as they move around the board, and others choose to be the lone wolf.  All of us are trying Playto move through the board and find the prize of peace and contentment. It seems that the players that enjoy every experience, every move are the ones that benefit the most.

There are many truths to the game of life. Who you choose to play with will determine how well you play and how much you enjoy the experience. Some have the intention of not wanting any part of the game.  These negative souls see every changing move as a problem and a potential for pain. Avoid these players at all costs because they will make the game miserable for everyone they contact in their sport.  Spend your time with people who love the game, and it will be easy to enjoy too.

Limits to Avoid

In the game of life, there are some things to avoid as you play.  One of the most important is to avoid worrying about what other people think of your moves around the board. They may tell you that you look silly or that your playstrategy will never work, or they may say they have a better plan.  Let these reservations of others slide right off you. You are the only person who can play your game, and life provides you with many lessons that will assist you in reaching the goals of happiness and contentment.  Anyone being critical of your play is probably sliding backward themselves or can’t seek the imagination it takes to move forward. Avoid listening to what others think of you. The responsibility for your play lies with you alone.

The second thing to avoid is becoming too confident in the way you play.  Life has many penalties for overconfidence, and none of them are pleasant. Be assured, but never stop being grateful for where you are and what you have in this game. That will keep you grounded and avoid the big falls that pride can bring.  You will never figure the whole match out; nobody does.  But you can learn through playing to the end all that you need to know. Gratitude is an essential fuel for the game, play it consistently and generously, and it will take you a long way.

Finally, avoid fear as you move around the game. It is natural if you are in a “good” spot on the board to stay there. But life is a running game and never stands still; one of the specific rules is that you have to keep moving and changing. Change is life, and accepting change is accepting life.   Some call this scary. Others call this opportunity.  Call it a chance because it doesn’t matter if you like it or not; that is what will happen. Things will change, and you will have to roll the dice again or spin the wheel and take the moves in front of you.  Do not be afraid. Be confident that whatever lies ahead, you will have the ability to play through it and move on to even a better level. Each challenge of the game is an opportunity for growth. Play the game and grow!

Winning the Game

Well, here is the sad truth. There is no winning the game. There is only one playing it.  The choices that you make on the way define your play and will playdetermine the experience you have. The most crucial factor in realizing is that you have a choice. Maybe not with what the game brings you but in how you react to those experiences. These are the most important decisions you can make because they will determine if the skills you have move you forward or backward in the game.  Are you climbing a ladder or sliding down a chute back to where you started?

Try not to play the victim and complain about everything.  All challenges bring with them an opportunity. To be better or accomplish something. If you choose not to take advantage of that because of grief for what has gone or fear of what might come, then take responsibility for it.  Because in the game of life, you are responsible for how you play. You and you alone.

PLAY TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY.  That is winning the game and will allow you to get the most out of it.  We have little control over when it will end but total control over the choices we make while we play. Raise your awareness of the play with your thoughts, words, and actions. Remember, none of us will get out of here alive. 

“Life is a game, and you are the player. As you master the game, so you also create it.” ― Jay Woodman.

“The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds, and words come back to us with astounding accuracy.” ~Florence Scovel Shinn

 

 

 

21

Responsible

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NEVER MAKE EXCUSES

Accept Responsibility for Life.

Each day, we can make these decisions to bring our lives into balance, enjoy the experience more, and connect us to life in general.

Today is a day of potential with a chance of increasing your enjoyment and energy by accepting things as they indeed are and taking responsibility for them.  Those two skills will allow you to experience a more happy and balanced life.  It is a simple concept but takes discipline to perform consistently. It begins by being conscious of your thoughts, the words you use to express them, and the actions you take because of the ideas you entertain. These are not complex concepts to fathom, nor are they trying to put into practice, but few choose to do them consistently because you have to be consistent in your practice.

Things Are What They Are

It can be difficult for people to accept unpleasant things as a part of their lives. This fact is true of experiencing some significant change on our part. Sometimes it is just easier to wish things were like they used to be, but they never are.  Change is happening all around you and inside you every day. The new comes and takes the place of the old, and that is a reality. To refuse to accept this is a cause of suffering.  Things are what they are. To think anything else is delusionary.

Accept the things in life. All the changes and growth that are going to come until the time that life ceases to exist continually.  Accept yourself and all others and the role they are playing in your life. Acknowledge that there is a divine presence in everyone, even if their actions are harmful and their behavior is unsatisfactory. Accept them and their journey as a part of yours. Life moves, injuries occur, rehabilitation is needed, you may find yourself down and in need of a comeback. All of these are possible once you accept how things are. You will have a solid base to go wherever you want. Accept things as they are because that is how they are.

Responsibility For All

My thoughts, words, and actions are all my responsibility, always.  This fact is a concept more people should focus on in their life. We all make a million decisions in a day. Most are rote actions we complete daily, and those decisions are made subconsciously and may or may not represent what you want to stand for. Focusing on all the ideas we bring into reality with our words and actions means you have to be conscious and aware. Choices of harsh words can harm people deeply below the surface where you can’t directly see the harm. It doesn’t matter what your intent is. It matters what the actual result is. If your words hurt someone, you are responsible for that, regardless of your original intention.

Many people choose to avert responsibility for whatever reason. It is a habit that allows the negative energy of a poor choice to stay with you for a long time.  Learn to accept responsibility for all things in your life, and when it needs to be “fixed,” then start fixing.  The acceptance will lead to a higher quality of life, bringing balance and happiness to your daily experience.  When you accept responsibility for all things, there is no fear of what others think. You are going to be productive and feel better about yourself. Your relationships with significant others, friends, family, and co-workers will also be better. When you make a mistake or hurt someone, take responsibility, and make amends.

Make Two choices Today.

It is up to you today to look honestly at your location and accept that it is a reality. You live where you live. You make the amount of money you make. You have the friends you have. If any of those things aren’t where you would like them to be, then you have the power to change them.  Be responsible for your choices every day and look for ways to learn from those who aren’t so good.  Use them to become better the next time you have options.  All of the things you choose are in your power.  Things may happen out of your control, but your decisions about dealing with them are all under your control. Nobody can make them for you.

As you move through this day, please take a moment and look at the thoughts you are entertaining about your life and how it is progressing today. Are you taking responsibility for where you are? Are you blaming others or circumstances? Are you just existing without much thought about it at all?  You have a conscious choice to see where you are and to accept responsibility for it. Once you do this, you can use your words and actions to make your life a more enjoyable experience. The level of enjoyment you experience is all up to you and the thoughts you choose to entertain in your conscious mind.

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”- Nathaniel Branden.

“Even the acceptance of personal responsibility may not overcome the temptation to believe that now is not the time to repent. ‘Now’ can seem so difficult, and ‘later’ appear so much easier. The truth is that today is always a better day to repent than any tomorrow. “-Henry B. Eyring.

“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.”- George Orwell.

 

 

21

Reflections

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We reflect on taking the lessons and providing value to our experiences.

Recently I had a birthday, which means many years ago, I entered this game of life and am still trying to figure out how the swirl of thoughts, emotions, and corresponding actions connect to build our lives.  I always thought I would have all the answers by now, but life is a tricky experience. You move past one veil, answering some questions only to find there are five more waiting for you there.  On your birthday, I think it is your obligation to yourself and the experience of life to look at the lessons you struggled with, overcame, mastered, or are still working on over the past year.  By assessing your experiences and taking the lessons, they teach with gratitude. It is possible to make even outwardly negative things favorable for you.  So here is my look back at the last year, a reflection of gratitude. Also though this was not an easy year, easy life is not necessarily a good life.

How has my year been?

I think it is best to reflect on the year in lessons learned, and here are a few of the valuable things I have learned. There have been many challenges, a ton of new information as well.  So with all that a great year, I also managed to make it to the gym every day of the year.

Enjoy every moment because life will change, and those things you love may be gone, and there is no way to bring them back.  We are only really guaranteed this moment, and that is it.  If you share it with someone else, that makes it a memory.  I am grateful for all the moments I have shared with others over the past year.

I am responsible for my level of happiness and enjoyment of life. It isn’t anyone else’s fault if I am not happy with my life, job, or choices.  There are going to be times which are easier to be pleased with than others. It is up to us in our experience to choose to enjoy them or not.  Not everything is pleasant, and there has been plenty of difficulty and pain in my year, but I prefer to focus on the good rather than the bad.  There is always some glimmer of good behind a cloud of sadness.  Seek it.

Deal with your emotions, or they will deal with you. We all have feelings, and they are attached to every thought we produce in our minds.  To ignore them is to ignore a message from your heart. We often get a negative feeling, and we don’t like it, so we move away from it as quickly as possible.  I hope I have learned to move toward it, look at it, and understand it a little bit more.  Sadness, anger, fear, and emotional cousins are not favorable to experience, but they are a natural part of being human and not so scary to handle.

Embrace them, see the thoughts that brought them to you. Usually, it is some residual memory of the experience, and always understanding takes away the fear and allows you to heal. I have recovered a lot this year.  There is minimal teaching provided to us, helping a person learn how to develop emotional health. We are at the mercy of intellect and experience.

Enemies and Friends.  This year I have learned how our thoughts can be our greatest enemies. How we choose to think about ourselves, our abilities and other people control much of our reality.  A change in perspective and the way you feel about things can make your whole life seem different.  The human mind, both complex and pleasant, can only focus on one thought at a time, and you control where that focus lies if you want to.  Where your attention goes, energy flows, and if you are spending time on the negative, you will find more negative. If you spend time on the positive, then you will find more positive.  This focus will determine how you see yourself and control what you can accomplish in life. Your thoughts always and drive you towards a direction you would like your life to take.

Learning is power.  I have increased the things I learn about by merely using my commute time for knowledge rather than just mindlessly listening to music.  Music is excellent, and I love it, but all the thoughts tied to it are from the past. I have started filling that time with podcasts, TED Talks, philosophy, audiobooks, and anything else to teach me something positive. Of course, it has helped me learn and put me in an intensely positive mood entering any day. Which has helped me, and I think it helped others as well.  Learn wherever you can, new ideas, how someone else did what you want to do.  All knowledge makes you better and drives you to new creations and accomplishments.  Learn, grow, be better.  Our growth is never complete, no matter how old we are.

My year was good, like any, I think. There were high highs and low lows. Sometimes I was very good at dealing with things and others. I was a work in progress, and that is OK.  People have loved me, and some have hated me for whatever reason. In the logbook of my life, I think it has been a watershed year and one I will continue to learn.

Am I Satisfied With My Choices?

We make a thousand decisions every day. One of the things I learned about this year is that we make 95% of our choices subconsciously every day, which means our programming is running our life most of the time. If that programming is faulty, you will be continually making the same mistakes, doing the same things which may not be so good for you.  So I have made several small changes I hope will have lasting effects on my success and enjoyment of life.

Time of reflection-  I have tried to add short moments during the day to take inventory of what is happening during the day. One is at lunchtime. I try

Look into the sky tonight and know I am here today, in a year, in ten thousand years.

to take just five minutes during the day to enjoy the moment. Wherever it is. If the weather is beautiful and I am outside, then to be experience happiness about being alive at that moment, looking at a blue sky, or seeing a bird fly by. These things can affect my thoughts and make me happier and feel a connection to the positive in life.   Another moment I have taken is no matter how busy, hectic, or long a workday has been, I take five minutes at night to sit outside and look up at the night sky and be grateful.  I look at the stars each night for just a few minutes, and it reminds me of all the people I have known who are gone. I often wonder how many others are looking at the same sky and having similar thoughts.  Maybe there are none. I hope that after reading this, there will be just one more.  These moments have brought a little balance and daily gratitude to my experience of life this year. I am delighted with this choice.

Forgiveness- I think it is human nature to look at situations that hurt us, be angry at the people involved, and cast blame in their direction.  I have made a choice not to do this. I am responsible for my emotions and the situations I have put myself in. I forgive anyone who hurt me and ask for their forgiveness for anything I have done.  That is a choice that makes me happy. Life is too short to waste being angry with past events. Especially when the future may be the story you choose to write today.  I wish to focus on the road I am on and what might be ahead because the best days are just around the corner.

In a nutshell, I am pretty happy with the overall choices I made this year because they have placed me here at this moment, and that is a pretty great moment to be experiencing.

I did My Best

I have been nowhere near perfect, but perfect is overrated.  In the seams of mistakes, we learn the lessons that allow us to develop our knowledge, skills, and authentic personalities. I hope I have done my best to treat others well, take the lessons of the past, and apply them positively to my life.  I did my best to be healthier both mentally and physically to be fully present in the current moments I have.  In that way, I can enjoy things like writing this or going to the gym later and then just having time to contemplate, read, learn, or enjoy whatever is happening at that moment.  In the final analysis, faced with positive and negative experiences, I have endeavored to be true to myself and remain on the positive side of things. I have tried my best. It hasn’t always been easy, but that makes it valuable.  My heart is at peace.

In the words of Rob Thomas…….. I am not afraid of getting older. I am one less day from dying young………….

 

21

Under Rocks

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Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

I think that I have to answer this question by saying that I am doing what

doing what you believe in
Do You Believe?

I believe in it because I Am sincerely searching to find what I do believe in and what I am doing is giving me the ability to keep looking for the right path for me.

I believe that I was settling for what I was doing for much of my life, which ultimately led to a life that was unfulfilled, unexciting, and fake.

Life had been moving along just fine, a job, a career, a belief that I was

doing what you belive
And Achieve

doing what I should, and on the surface, it seemed that was where I should have been.

But below the surface, I never felt quite right about it.  It always felt like there was something significant missing, but I ignored that feeling for many years and carried on.

There were many good times and great experiences, but in the end, there was a feeling that I should be doing much more with my life.

Finally, circumstances came into place that made me face significant questions about who I was and what I wanted from life. I would recommend that anyone be careful of asking too many questions unless you are ready for answers you may not like.

Once the ball started rolling, I couldn’t stop if I tried. I was turning over rocks

finding answers under rocks
Find Answers Under Rocks

to see what answers were under them, usually finding another rock that provided another question, which needed another answer.

There are many questions that I will never answer, but the point isn’t to find an answer but to strive for an answer and find the truth about yourself along the way.

So as I continue to search for truth, I am doing what I believe in, and that is treating everyone I meet with respect, making honoring choices, and trying to be the best person I can be.

Appreciating all of the experiences I am fortunate enough to have in life and making the world a better place for those with who I come in contact.  That is all anyone can do, and I think to make this experience the best we can for all involved.

Life is definitely not boring or fake to me. I know that everything I have experienced is for a reason. There is meaning in every part of it. I appreciate that and believe that I am making a difference in my own way and will continue to for as long as I am fortunate to be a living human being on the planet.

So that is what I believe in and what I am doing in everything that I do.  There is no time for settling anymore. There are far too many rocks to be turned over, answers to be shared, and truths to find.

ALL MY LIFE, I’VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING