Tag Archives: Self-esteem

22

Avoiding the Negative Loop

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This human experience can be confusing. As we try to figure out where we fit in, something changes, and we are left looking for a new equation that will lead to our success, acceptance, and happiness. But we spend time choosing and creating narrow attachments and expectations for the outcomes. If something doesn’t work out just like we think it should, that is bad, and we choose to be unhappy. When I let go of how I think the world should be and accept it, I can also find the good in each moment.

Suffering

Life is going to bring its share of challenges. No person will live for an extended period, having everything go just perfectly. If they did, there would be no opportunity for personal growth or self-development. You would be stagnant, just as you were. It w, and it is like continually being a child with no developing maturity. Suffering comes from the thought that what is happening in your life is not as you think it should be. Something is wrong and needs to be fixed. This can result from any challenge which shakes your reality.

It can be a relatively minor thing, like an annoying co-worker, to a big something like a loved one’s death. The idea you need to fix things because they are wrong will lead you to fear, worry, insecurity, resentment, criticism of others, criticism of yourself, tensions, stress, and all things which lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

What if you didn’t do that?

The alternative is to open your mind and develop a broader vision of life and the things it brings your way. Perhaps the experience you are having, no matter how unsavory or harmful, is precisely what is best for you now. You don’t have to like it, but not wanting something won’t make it go away. Dealing with the present moment will allow you to become better.

Living in the present moment, not worrying about what the future will be, or regretting the past, will allow you to make choices that honor the present and see where true fulfillment comes from. It isn’t attached to the events swirling around your life. A “good thing” here makes you happy. A “bad thing” makes you unhappy. Realizing they are all just things to which you give meaning through your mental conditioning, expectations, and attachments.

Your Power

This doesn’t mean you accept someone treating you poorly; when this occurs, you don’t take it personally as an indictment of your value and see it as a clear issue of the person mistreating you. A loved one’s death is a sad occasion, but feeling bad won’t bring anyone back to life; the reality of the situation is what it is. How you deal with it, move on from it, and see your gratitude for the departed person’s influence on your life will allow you to grow and develop your power despite the loss.

Shift of Perspective

It is not an easy shift, moving your perspective from one of the ego-defined expectations to source-centered acceptance. If a life of fulfillment is your ultimate goal, then some movement in this direction is warranted. It will allow you to not drift to and from happiness to sadness based on the things occurring outside of you. Living like this gives all the power to those things. Never knowing from moment to moment if you will have the rug pulled out from underneath you or not.

Learning to see events as things outside of you and not letting them define your happiness is a rare power. Not identifying with our conditioned expectations, we can approach all situations with an open mind and heart. This will bring on feelings of acceptance, well-being, and ease about the events of your life. They are things that happen, not defining points of your character. In this understanding and practice, one will probably realize that life is, in fact, OK, just as it is. What if our most feared moments are just opportunities to grow?

22

Know Your Own Value

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Your value as a human being is determined by how you think about yourself and the choices of thought you entertain. We all accept from the world the importance we place on ourselves, our time, our talent, and our productivity. If you receive a specific salary for eight hours of your day, that is your value. You accept particular treatment from others because that is where you see your worth. Are you stuck in your self-worth, or can you improve? This writing wouldn’t be much of a thought piece if there were no hope for becoming more valuable to yourself and expecting appropriate treatment from the world to match it. Here are a few simple things to start raising your value now.

Belief Adjustment

The first step is learning the difference between random thoughts, opinions, and beliefs that run our lives. We are run by our subconscious mind most of the time, and our beliefs control that mechanism. Start to question your old ideas about yourself and how life is constructed and look to move beyond them. If you believe that people who have money are wrong, you will subconsciously create situations where cash is scarce. Look beyond. If you feel all members of the opposite sex are the same and will treat you poorly, that is precisely who you will end up in a relationship with. Look beyond and see your actual worth and believe it. Then see what types of money and people show up in your life. Your worth will increase about the time you start to value yourself.

Accept It All

We fight a constant battle in life between who we are and what we perceive the world wants us to be. Increasing your value will come when you start to accept all of the things about yourself you see as flaws. We all struggle to fit into the image we create in our minds of what we should be and how we should look based on media images we were exposed to. We are all trying to fit ourselves into a mold created by someone else of how to look, how to act, what to like, and what we think is entertainment. It is all a fantasy and impossible to attain. The worst part is there are great things about all people, and we allow these images to destroy our self-esteem and make us ashamed of who we are.

Accept your perceived flaws. Maybe it is your height, your hair color, or some other gift of birth. Accept it as a part of you and learn to value it. You will be surprised at how much your change of attitude will change how the world perceives you. Accept all of the old wounds from your past, allow yourself to feel them accept them, and move past them. Something that happened to you 35 years ago has as much bearing today as you will enable it to have. Move past it by practicing acceptance of who you are, what you have done, mistakes you have made, and things you didn’t do. How you see yourself and your power is a  choice. Choose wisely.

Practice Gratitude

If something is valuable in your life, take a moment to show appreciation for it: a possession, a person, an experience, or any part of your life. When you show gratitude, you increase your value, and guess what will start to show up? More of those things. Be grateful for something in your life because it has great power for you. You are taking things for granted, and showing and feeling ingratitude will bring less of those things into your life. How many great things are you taking for granted right now? You will not appreciate them until they are gone.

Learn to appreciate every little thing that comes into your existence. There is something positive about almost everything. Sometimes we are just too close to the fray to see it. But it is there when you pull back and allow your focus to come clear. Showing more appreciation for things naturally raises your value in the world. When you grow your worth, you increase your level of expectation, and your experience will become more abundant. Start a simple gratitude practice today by making a list of three things you are grateful for. You can do it at the beginning or end of the day, but the approach will change your focus and raise your value.

Find Connections and Pursue

There are things we do that bring us closer to who we are. For me, writing my thoughts down is one way I do this. Exercise is another. All people have different activities that allow them to connect to their inner selves, enabling you to do this and pursue them. All of those who stop you from this feeling, move away from them. Most people build addictions to things that are not healthy for us, from sugar to drugs to alcohol. Many addictive behaviors we fall into are not beneficial to our becoming our best selves. Put these things aside.

The connection to yourself will fill the holes you may feel in yourself. Your parents didn’t pay enough positive attention to you. You didn’t fit in at school. You were not popular. These things can be moved past because they have as much power as we choose to give them. All people have experienced this when you do things because you view it as a positive from your inner world. Rather than doing something because of how others view it, you will be much happier. And isn’t happiness the feeling we all want to feel? Please connect to the things which make you sing on the inside and do them. Your worth will increase.

Finally Creative

Being creative is one of the most powerful skills to pursue to raise your value. There is a well of creativity inside of you and ideas available to you on the outside. Our mental limits and perceptions stop many from finding their unlimited imagination. We believe in limiting things others have imposed on us, and they prevent us from making our lives the best they can be. We are so worried about fitting into the mold society has cast us in. Originality flies out the window.   You have an unlimited well of ideas inside you, and it just takes a little effort to draw them out. Once you bring them out, don’t let your mind talk you out of them. Being creative is one of the most powerful things you can do.

Increase your value by practicing creative thought daily in your work, play, and all aspects of your life. Creativity is the cure for all challenges. Use your power.

“Know your worth. Then add tax.” Anonymous

 “Never forget how rare you are.” Anonymous

“Things of value require sacrifice. If people are too hurt, too busy, or too damn stupid to see that you’re a blessing they’ve been asking for, just fall back. Know your worth.” Anonymous

“I don’t know why we all hang on to something we’re better off letting go of.” Meredith Grey

“When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.” Anonymous

 

22

Standard Bearer

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Standards- a level of quality or attainment.

There is a level of behavior we will accept in any situation. These are our standards. Our standards exist in our relationships, our careers, and ourselves, and the level of quality we agree is the level of quality we will be defined by in life. Today the challenge is to look at the standards you accept in all phases of your life. Is it time to raise the standards of what you expect? This fact can only be discovered if you are more conscious of exactly what your standards of behavior are. It begins by looking at your thoughts, the resulting emotions, the words you use, and the actions you consciously take every day. What are your standards? Are there things you can no longer accept? Change is an inevitable part of life; if you are not happy with the way things are going, it is time to change.

Professional Standards

No matter what you do to earn a living, you have standards of the behavior you expect from those around you. Your self-esteem and value will determine the level of those standards in life. If you believe you are valuable, you will demand to be treated with respect in all interactions. The great thing is, that is most often how people will treat you.   It is not wrong or awkward to hold people to a standardsstandard of behavior, and it is the level at which you perceive your value and stick to it.

Your self-worth has been developed since you were very young. The messages you were sent as a child the way your parents, teachers, and peers treated you created your standards. It doesn’t matter what career you are in, and people will treat you accurately the way you allow them to, which comes from your criteria. Look at what you accept, then think about how you would like to be different and take nothing less than that behavior. It is not bitchy, difficult, or wrong to feel self-value and expect to be treated positively. It would help if you demanded it in the workplace.

Relationship Standards

When it comes to relationships of all kinds, standards are vital to the type of treatment you will accept and receive. Relationships are a difficult thing to learn how to manage. There is no class in school to help you manage all of the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that come from being in a relationship with someone, and you have to figure it all out on your own. Since most of us are in our teens when we standardsare forming these standards, they can be very inconsistent, varied, and all over. Our earliest experiences with love will build the base for all relationships that follow. If you accept bad behavior or lack self-esteem, you may think this is the type of relationship you deserve and the one you will get until you change your standards.

Look at your relationships today and see where your standards lie. Honestly, know where you are on your partner’s priority list and see if that is where you want to be. Is your standard too low, too high, or just right? This inquiry is the type of conscious thought that can improve your life. Love is difficult to manage because it comes with an equal slice of fear. Fear of being alone, being judged by others, failing, not being reasonable, or not being successful can always haunt you. All of these are rolled into relationships, and they help set the standards of what type of treatment you accept. Are you living out of love or fear? Set your criteria to love, acceptance, understanding, kindness, and support for your partner. Accept nothing less than that in return, or you will be living an unhappy life.

Your Standards

Then there are the standards you set for yourself. The behavior you accept from yourself will affect your life and the success you experience more than anything else. If you look in the mirror and you don’t like your fitness level, it is time to make a change. Start by looking at your standards for what type of food you eat standardsand how much exercise you are getting. Those standards need to change before you can. The same is true in finances or the quality of your relationships. What you accept from other people is going to be what you get.

The good news is that all of this can change and change quickly. We can change standards, and behaviors and experiences will change with them. You won’t lose 40 lbs in a day, but you can start your path to losing 40 pounds by setting higher standards for yourself and then being dedicated to living up to0 them. If you accept nothing less than your criteria, you have no choice but to improve in whichever areas you have chosen to focus on in your life. Where focus goes, energy flows.

First Thing to Do

The first thing to do is to identify what your standards are. Rest assured, you are achieving the standard you set for yourself. Set them higher if you want to experience improvement. It all starts with a conscious awareness of all of your thoughts on what you accept, how you deal with the resulting feelings, the words you speak to express them, and your actions. Nothing happens without your direct and consistent action.

“If you want to change your life, you have to raise your standards.” -Tony Robbins

“Key to success? Change the status quo. Raise your standards.” -Anonymous

“Never lower your standards to fit in with other people.” -Anonymous

 

22

Lose Your Attitude

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Attitude-a way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically is in a person’s behavior.

attitudeAttitude is everything because it is a result of the way we think and feel about everything in our existence, and shows the world just what we believe about ourselves. If you are not conscious of your attitude and why you think or feel a certain way about something, then you are at the mercy of that thought pattern. Many of our destructive issues resulting from low self-esteem stem from our attitude about ourselves and perceptions of the value we bring to. Today perceptions make a pact with yourself to be conscious of your position and the resulting experience that comes into your life because of it. Look at your thoughts, words, and actions and see how they reflect your attitude toward life, other people, and, most importantly, yourself.

Attitude Toward Life

Most people look at themselves as adults like they are set in stone. It is as if their attitudes about the world were poured into concrete when they were very young, and they never seek to revise them or improve them in any way. It is our attitude toward life that determines life’s attitude toward us. You attitudewill get precisely what you believe you will get from experience—your att, and yours the catalyst for life’s behavior toward you.

What do you believe about life? Is it fair? Is it cruel? Is it difficult? Whatever your attitude is toward life is what you will get from experience. Take a moment and become conscious of what those beliefs are.   If you radiate confidence and self-assurance, then the world will react accordingly. The same will be true if you lack confidence and are insecure. Life is an equal opportunity provider of challenges. Your attitude will determine the ease or difficulty with which you will face challenges. Create awareness in yourself of your feelings toward life. Expect more good than bad, and that is what you will experience.

Attitude Toward Others

It is essential to develop a positive attitude toward other people attitudebecause success rarely comes to one person by themselves. We are all interdependent in living our lives every day, and there is someone you rely on and someone that depends on you. It is our attitude toward others that determines their attitude toward us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your attitude should be to treat every person that you meet as if they are the most critical person in the world. Developing this mindset is a much more difficult task then it sounds. We are filled with bias, discrimination, judgment, and selfishness that limit our interactions with others. Being conscious of this will eliminate it as you treat others to treat you. Change your life by putting your interest in the stories of others ahead of your own. What can you learn from them? How can you help them? This attitude will increase your enjoyment of life and opportunities for success. Life isn’t all about you, understanding that is the beginning of really living.

Attitude toward Self

All people look at themselves as the hero of their own story. Their attitude and will determine if it is a success story or not. Your opinion about yourself develops continually over your life, and you can change that perception at any moment for the better or, the worse. It changes because of your actions and your attitude about these actions. Before a person can achieve attitudethe kind of life they dream about, they must become that kind of individual. If you want to be successful, then do the things successful people do. Set goals, take action, and be persistent in those actions until your goals are achieved. If you think you want to be something but set no goals and take no steps toward it, then you do not want that. This is your attitude.

Too often in life, we shortchange ourselves because we fear failure or what others are going to think of our efforts. These fears manifest in our minds and tell us: “You can’t!” “You mustn’t,” “People will think I am crazy.”, or any other negative message you can think of. A positive attitude toward yourself will erase those things. The human mind is only capable of entertaining one thought at a time. There is no benefit in negativity and many benefits to being positive. Why not consider positive thoughts and create an attitude of success for ourselves? Attitude is everything when it comes to success or failure.

So the challenge is to be conscious of your attitude today and be honest with yourself about what you find. If you lack in confidence and self-assurance, then start to change this. Set goals, write them down, take action toward them, and be persistent in following through until the goal is achieved. Your attitude will determine your experience in life with others and yourself. It all starts with knowing your thoughts, words, and actions today. Act as if success is already yours.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” ~ Maya Angelou

“Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.” ~ Og Mandino

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” —Ayn Rand

“Do what you have to do until you can do what you want.” —Oprah Winfrey

“Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.” —Henry Rollins

 

 

21

Confident

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Being Confident In Life Is a Choice

Although I have trouble sometimes with certain concepts, one thing has confidence-is-a-choice-to-act-or-to-do-or-to-decide-quote-1become abundantly clear. Being Confident in life is a choice.

Confidence stems from the conscious decision to accept yourself for what you are and to not let your weaknesses rule over your strengths. Can it be that simple? The answer is a loud and emphatic YES!

 

Let’s face it, we are all human beings, and all of us are constructed with a list of strengths and weaknesses to take advantage of or overcome. Everybody is in the same boat; there is nobody exempt.

But not everybody looks at the boat the same way. There is a definite attitude that those who become successful carry and those who fail to wear a badge. It all comes down to the choice each individual makes about how to look at things. One person sees an insurmountable obstacle, and another sees a great opportunity. The perspective is different, but the sightseeing is the same.

How to Make Sure You Fail

If I want to ensure that I fail and lack confidence, I will focus on my mistakes, weaknesses, and shortcomings. Rather than looking at them for what they are, these issues become my focus, learning experiences that allow you to gain valuable information about yourself, your life, and the world around you.

If you waste your time berating yourself for past mistakes, you will miss the future that is right in front of you. There are more than enough people out there that will gladly point out your shortcomings if you listen to them.

If you focus on the fact that yes, that was a mistake, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience, what exciting opportunities does this present for me? Then you are on your way to success because it is all just a choice anyway.

Look at it. Yes. So. It happened. That’s life. Get over it.

confidence is a choice
Confidence Is A Choice

Things happen to us all. These experiences are woven into the fabric that is who we are.

Some of these experiences have been great; some have been o.k. And some have been downright awful. That is the deal with life, it isn’t always going to be perfect, and you are never really in control of any of it.

You are one hundred percent in control of how you react to everything, how you let it affect your life, and how you feel about yourself. Your level of confidence springs from this thought pattern and affects your self-esteem.

When an experience occurs, you will do well to look at the event and understand it. You lost a job, or a relationship ended. Why did it end? What growth opportunities did this present to you?

What could you do about it? Accept it because it happened. You can long for the past or feel sick over the loss, but in the end, you are going to end up in the same place, either you are going to choose to accept it and move on with confidence is a choiceyour life, or not accept it and decide never to be happy or prosperous again.

If you were at an amusement park and got on a ride, you are stuck on that ride until it is over. You have the choice to enjoy it or not. To choose not to enjoy the journey seems like a waste of time, but many people take this option every day.

The ride will eventually end; you can’t go back to the beginning and experience the same thing exactly. You can try, but every time the trip will seem a little bit different.

Every experience in life is like that. The ride is life, and you are on it, whether you enjoy it or not. There will be twists and turns, ups and downs, good and bad, that we will all experience. And at some point, that experience is going to end.

Dealing with these things in a generally positive way is the first step toward feeling good about yourself and becoming more confident. Don’t let bad experiences define who you are, get over them and see what they have taught you about yourself, others, and the world around you.

You Control What You Think

confidence is a choiceYou can control all of your thoughts about everything that you experience. If you don’t control what you think, then somebody else will.

Be confident in yourself and know that you have abilities and talents that make you unique and one of a kind. The world would not be quite what it is if you weren’t in it.

Let’s say that you are in a crowded restaurant; you stand up to go to the restroom, and right in front of everyone, you knock your plate on the floor. It smashed into a million pieces and made a mess.

How you think at that moment defines how you feel about yourself. A person who is comfortable with themselves might react with thoughts like this, “Wow, that was clumsy! I just made a mess. I am sure everyone here has made a mess before. I have probably given them a great story to tell. I will help clean this mess up. I don’t know any of these people anyway. ”

Another way to react would be, “God, that was such a stupid, idiotic thing to do, and I am worthless and stupid and ignorant and no good and why am I like this and God I hate being me and when will I ever learn……..etc.” You can see the difference. If you choose the self-loathing path, is it any wonder that you are not happy?

The only person in the world who can control what you really think about in any situation is you. If you choose to delve into unhealthy, self-defeating attitudes, that is the surest way to be miserable I can think of at this moment.

The good news is that choosing healthy self-promoting thoughts is just as easy, anyone can do it, and it is the pathway to feeling great every day. The most significant thing is that you have total control of your thoughts, you can’t blame anybody else, you can’t say that you “got a raw deal,” you are the maker of your dreams, and you will have to live with them no matter which type of thought you choose.

“Noble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way.”- Sheri L. Dew

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”- Theodore Roosevelt

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.― Lao Tzu

Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it. ― Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

Things I Don't Like

I Do Not Like Mean People

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Why Mean People Are MeanI don't like Mean People

One of the things I like the least in life are mean people.  Mean people exist and thrive on crapping on the attitude, accomplishments,  interests or well being of someone else, with the sole purpose of making themselves feel more powerful or to increase their own self-esteem.  In a word these people are toxic and need to be avoided at all costs. They can leave you feeling worn out, tired, depleted and negative about everything but most importantly about yourself. It seems that they spend all day thinking about how to be mean to people.

Now I understand that most acts that can be considered mean come from people who need to make themselves feel better about whatever is happening in their lives and because they feel a lack of power, self-esteem or everyday ordinary goodness in their own lives.  This makes them feel the need to treat others poorly.   What bothers me is that it takes very little effort to NOT be mean, and perhaps some of the inadequacies they see in themselves would be alleviated if they just tried to be less judgmental and inconsiderate once in awhile.

Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

I don't like Mean People

Negative Choices Can Make You Mean

People’s actions may be done without the intention of being mean to others, but when you gossip, put others down, ridicule, judge or make fun of someone else, you are stepping into the dark side of mean.  So often in our social media society do people make fun of others, it has become an accepted form of expression.  Look no further than Youtube.  You can look at almost any video on there and if you bother to read the comments left, there is always someone who has gone out of their way to leave a not so positive comment, often using foul language and almost always to put down the content of the video or the creator.   I often wonder how bad their lives must be to spend their time to be so negative.  It is really unnecessary, if you don’t like something you see, why don’t people just not watch it?  I guess that to do that would rob them of an opportunity to be a jerk, and being a jerk and getting noticed is better than not getting noticed at all.  On Facebook, people go to all kinds of lengths to make negative pages about people, for the sole purpose of hurting them.  There are numerous cases of cyber-bullying that have even led to suicide.  Why?  I just don’t seem to be able to grasp the concept of being that hurtful to someone else.

Being Mean To Celebrities, Still Makes You Mean

I don't like Mean People
Charlie is deep
I don't like Mean People
Snookie is Nice

It has become the right of everyone to be negative about everyone who is a celebrity.  We all seem to have a licence to judge them and their situation simply because they are well known.  In reality, we know nothing about the issues facing these people and the facts about their circumstances.  It all comes from jealousy, we as a society, build people up and seem to relish in tearing them down.  Charlie Sheen is a great example.  Does he have issues?  Yeah, he does.  I don’t think that I know enough about him as a person to make a judgement about whether or not he is an addict or mentally unstable.  I have never met him and I don’t know any more about his character or values than I do about someone who cleans windows for a living.  Most people don’t.  That hasn’t stopped our society from judging him and ridiculing his decisions like we are so much better a person than him.  Really we know nothing and a train wreck, real or imagined makes people feel good, because it’s not their train wreck.  Just say the name Snookie and people will immediately let you know their judgments about this person.  I don’t know why people like to judge her so much, but she has gotten rich and famous because of it.  I personally don’t know Snookie and how she chooses to live her life is her business and that of MTV.  I think people criticize her because they see a part of themselves in her that they just don’t like.

In life there are going to be people we deal with that we may not like or appreciate.  It happens, people are different and not everyone is going to get along.  But does that give us a license to be mean to them?  It takes little effort to be courteous and accepting.  If people put in as much effort into being kind and accepting as they did into being mean and judgmental the world would be a much better place.

Here are a few ideas for those of us working on living a positive lifestyle and Stop Being Mean:

I don't like Mean PeopleMost mean people have a sarcastic edge….arm yourself with a few funny one-liners that you can use when faced with a negative person.

Don’t take what a mean person says personally…it is their problem, definitely not yours!

If you have a friend that has a mean streak and tends to say things that hurt you or others, try saying, “Ouch” out loud and never allow yourself to get sucked into the behavior. Always know it is okay to not continue the friendship.

Don’t go running away scared from a mean person, walk away with a stronger sense of yourself, knowing that you made a good decision not to get sucked into the negativity!

The ultimate victory for us is not to fight back, get even, be vindicated, nor ever to bring the Mean Person to justice. The ultimate victory is to render this person irrelevant.

Some helpful hints on how NOT to be mean:I don't like Mean People

  • Before doing anything quickly ask yourself: “Will this thought/action/comment make the world a better place for me, or anyone else?” If not – don’t do it and save yourself the repercussions. There’s no point expending effort in making yourself or others unhappy. Ever.
  • Tell yourself constantly that you’re a nice person so that your mind begins to accept that you are. Change your behavior accordingly to fit these new standards. Thinking you’re one of the “good people” instead of a “bad person” can really make a difference to how you act. Your mind will react positively.
  • Resist judging people if they are not nice to you. You shouldn’t judge people anyway. There is always someone nice inside everybody, even those whose insecurity causes them to be mean to you.
  • Like all habits, this one will be hard to stop. With perseverance, however, your defensive meanness will change.
  • Smile. A smile will let people know that you are pleasant and inviting. If you smile at someone, look them in the eye.
  • Ask people how they are doing. Take the time to ask someone how things are going in their lives, without being nosy or intrusive. If they seem resistant to talking, just let them know that you’re always around to talk to, and that you want them to be alright.
  • Be a good listener. Listen when other people are talking to you.
  • Be courteous, patient, observant, and considerate. And be positive. Don’t be negative or critical. Keep looking for the positive in any given situation.
  • Be humble. The key to being nice is remembering that you are not “better” than someone else. You’re an individual, but everybody has their struggles, and being nice to one another makes life better for everyone.
  • Be sincere.  Be nice because you want to look back on your life and know that you were a nice person, no matter what.
  • Don’t lie. You will go on to do good things if you refrain from lying.

 

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