Tag Archives: Self Pity

Ask The Right Questions

June 14, 2022 Jonathan Hilton Leave a comment

One of the most valuable skills a person can develop is asking questions to clarify any situation. Often life brings situations designed to teach us something, and the right questions can get that valuable knowledge to the surface. The right question can change your focus, target your awareness, and get answers. In short, questions bring our thoughts into focus and bring us growth.

Questions Make Sense of Things

Questions can help make sense of things. By questioning a person’s motives or why an event affected us the way it did, we can start to find answers. How many times have we had an experience that was less than pleasant. A loss, a death, an questions 2 accident, or something else that, on the surface, is a negative experience. And that could be all it is, but when you ask the right question, you know for sure. What is good about this situation that I don’t see at first? What are the benefits that I can’t see right now? How can my life benefit from this situation?

This is not trying to diminish the trauma and pain life brings you. How can the death and loss of a loved one possibly be good? All things have the possibility for good in some way. Perhaps you will appreciate those loved ones still in your life. Maybe you will take the time to let those still living to know that you care about how you feel. The relationships in your life may become more precious to you. Your experience may become more loving, rich, and deep because you looked honestly at the benefits of a loss.

Steer Clear of Self Pity

A question will change the focus of your consciousness in whatever direction your questions lead you. So if you are wallowing in self-pity with questions like ”

Questions_To_-Ask

Why me?” or “How can this keep happening to me?” then those answers will be what you find. Self-pity is a damaging exercise that will not provide comfort or personal growth.

Focusing on positive questions and away from self-pity will allow you to maintain or develop your best. All experiences have some value. Even though the value is sometimes hidden, questions release these thoughts and allow for a real examination of a situation. All experiences have some value hidden in them, and asking a question and thinking about the answer will get you a solution at the worst, show the positive aspects of an experience, and, at best, enlighten you about the possibilities of life.

Maintain an Open Mind

The ability to ask, answer, and accept the information the right questions ask is the definition of having an open mind. It is easy to look at things from the short-sighted perception of your day-to-day existence. What benefits could come from this? Even though this isn’t nice to experience, what could come from good, positive, or even pleasurable? Once you open your mind to these possibilities, they can show up in your life. They have been there all along, but recognizing them allows you to understand them and enjoy their benefits in your life.

Questions Eliminate Resistant Thoughts

A good question will not only push your focus toward the desired knowledge or information. It will also empowering questions eliminate the ideas, thoughts, and preconceptions that are resistant or irrelevant to the challenge.
“What can I learn from this challenge so this never happens again?” At the same time, a question can make all of your resources apparent to us.

Developing a consistent practice of asking real and relevant questions will allow us to meet challenges, focus our attention on solutions, and move past irrelevant information. This will more than likely make your life a bit more of an enjoyable experience.

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Fight the Dark Side

September 8, 2021 Jonathan Hilton Leave a comment

Focus On the Force

Each of us has a power that we either use to help move us toward our goals or provide an excuse for not achieving what we want. I think it is much more similar to life in the Star Wars franchise than we would probably admit. All people contain within themselves a duality. These two sides have a high potential to do things perceived as an excellent good or something representing evil.

All people contain this power within them, and that is the force of life. It is not by magic that people end up living an authentic life. It is by conscious decision. The choices we make in every moment dictate the nature of the force within us. These choices are a refreshing combination of how we think about ourselves, the world, and everything in it. Focus honestly on how you feel about things and your conscious thoughts today. Notice the emotions that arise in you because of an idea. Then see the words and actions that come from that. This process determines the power and nature of the force in you. It all starts with thoughts.

Operating on the Light Side

We would all like to think of ourselves as being the hero and doing what is right always. That is not a human experience. It is a constant struggle between our two sides. Here is the simple formula for working with the forces of light. Put others before yourself, be kind in thought and deed, accept the differences of others, feel joy, peace, serenity, love, hope, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. All of these exist within us, and it is our choice to practice them or not.

What a world we would have if all people were able to function in this part of themselves. If you look at how you like to be treated, all of these things are probably on the list. Choosing these things and meaning allows the force within you to help others. It isn’t always easy to think this way when you see someone doing something say to someone else or you. It is human nature to want to fight back and take an eye for an eye. When we are hurt, we want to cut back. To put that instinct aside and treat a situation with love will allow the force in you to do great good in the world.

Welcome to The Dark Side

Welcome to the dark side, which needs no introduction, I am sure because we all have one of these. Our darkness exists by our insecurities, pains, and fears of our lives. Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, superiority, and ego contribute to our dark side. These are thoughts that lead to words and actions that will directly or indirectly harm others somehow. But the person who is hurt the most is you. The dark side of the force does contain the power, but it is corrupting, painful and takes away the good in the world for selfish gain.

Many people I have known can harm someone by directly consciously speaking words that exploit the insecurity of someone. Then fear is generated, or selfishness, and that person has been infected. Look at the people in your life and how they speak to you and others. Where on the scale of the force does their intention come from in each moment? The allure of the dark side is that you will not have to suffer again. But the truth is, of course, your actions are causing you to experience. These thoughts and emotions wear you down and hurt you. To feel these things is the dark side.

Your Force is Always there.

Inside of each of us, this force I am trying to define is always available to you. It is there to call on when you need strength to face a challenge. Even in the most desperate times in life, remember the force in you will be there to push back the adversity and allow you to thrive if you let it. You may have to make a course adjustment, learn a new skill, create a new goal, or start over. Whatever the task ahead of you, the power to move toward it every day is the force inside you.

Be conscious of how you can help yourself and help others see the good in the world through you. Take advantage of opportunities to show this. Consciously practice kindness even when there is no apparent gain for you. Create hope for someone in the world. Don’t let mindless anger brought on by fear control you. It solves nothing but creates pain in the world. Pain and suffering are the calling cards of the dark side of the force within you.

Where does your force lie?

Every day, you have a choice to cause pain and suffering to others or create joy and kindness. These choices develop in the thoughts you choose to entertain. Are they from the dark side, or are they from the light? The force in you will always be there working on the side that you choose. So choose your thoughts wisely. The world depends on it. And it all starts with your thoughts, the corresponding emotions they lead to, the tenor of the words you speak, and the actions you take. All things will affect the force in you and the effect that energy has on the world. Which side of the line do you fall on here?

“We must wake.” -Yoda

“Always pass on what you have learned.”- Yoda

“The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.”- Yoda

There’s A Light

August 23, 2021 Jonathan Hilton Leave a comment

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

light in the darkness jonathan hilton — Are Your Ideas In the Darkness?

There are times in everyone’s life when they feel like they are all by themselves, with only their beliefs to guide them. These times are opportunities to define your life, what your principles are, and how you will share this with the world. Will you continue to think as you always have? Or will you move in the direction of change and growth? That is a test that life likes to give us from time to time, and we must find the lesson and maintain our humanity and compassion in the process. There is no question difficult times are tough to endure but they bring with them an opportunity. One way or another these moments will come to define your life, providing you with depth in the way you view life and your place in it. You will have the chance to become more understanding of the plight of others in the world or you can build bitterness around your own situation. The decision is truly yours. What light do you bring into the world? One of illumination or destruction?

The Dark Side

walking into the darkness — Fear-based thought will lead you to the darkness.

When difficult times arrive, you may forget the soft glow of the idea you strongly believe in, you can lose your positive attitude. This experience can cause disillusion, anger, hatred, and, most of all, self-pity. Why is everyone against me? If they were real friends, they would support me no matter what. Poor me! These are natural emotions and thoughts, but that is all that they are. We are not our thoughts or emotions. In this case, they are all caused by the actions and opinions of others. The danger is that once you start down the path of self-pity and anger, you are in danger of staying there for a long time, if not forever.

All of these are fear-based emotions and thoughts, which can have no other destination than to make you unhappy, angry, and scared. There is no way that you can embrace the good in something and grow if you spend all of your time, though, and effort in self-pity and anger. These emotions can become pervasive in all aspects of your life, and relationships end; you will find that you look at everything with a veil of suspicion, and it will become nearly impossible to be truly happy. This change can be caused by any tragedy in your life, losing a job, character assassinations, the death of a loved one, or any of the significant obstacles of life. Fortunately, this is not permanent or fatal unless you want it to be.

The Light

When you carry the light of an idea into the darkness, you will always have a choice, for

every adverse reaction above, there is a positive choice available to you. This choice is the path of growth because these decisions come from love. Compassion, understanding, kindness, and forgiveness are all examples of this type of reaction. It is pretty easy to display these characteristics when times are good and everything is going your way, but quite a different story when facing challenges. You get laid off from your job unexpectedly, how do you react? It would be understandable if you were angry and felt it was unfair and wished terrible things on all of those responsible, but what will that accomplish when you look at it?

You will allow the things that happened to you to define you and all of your actions. Or you can accept that it happened and look for the positive. This optimism may be the push you needed to finally follow your dream and become a doctor or an engineer or whatever you have always wanted to do. Difficult times and opportunities often walk hand in hand if you keep your eyes open. Forgive those that you feel wronged you, accept what has happened, and move forward with courage. I can’t tell you for sure, but open your eyes and embrace the changes, and you may find yourself significantly happier than when you began this journey.

So if you feel like you are marching into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believe in, make that idea one that honors you and leads to a more significant light in the world. If it creates love, it will do that. If it starts with fear, it will most likely lead to misery and pain. Look for the light in the situations you face, and even the worst things can ultimately positively impact you and the world. There is no way to change the past and what has happened. You have one hundred percent control over how you react to them.

Into the light

Grateful

July 16, 2021 Jonathan Hilton Leave a comment

What are you most grateful for?

It is a difficult task indeed to start to think about what you are most grateful for. Many people will say money. Some will say, love. Some will say, family. Some will say something else entirely.

I am thankful for all these things, but to me, there is no doubt that showing your gratitude is the most important thing to do. The feeling of gratitude is important. So for me, I guess the act of feeling grateful is the thing I am most grateful for today. Here is why.

Taking things for Granted

I was the type of person who took many great things in my life for granted. Not appreciating the things that people did for me out of the goodness of their hearts. Yet, I was not grateful. In fact, I think I felt entitled to all the things I had in my life.

The problem with that is that you are never pleased with what you have but are always angry or worried about what you don’t have. This is the problem with a lack of gratitude. No matter how much you get, you are never pleased.

When You Lose Everything, You are Grateful for Anything

In my life, I had the good fortune to lose everything. In that time of turmoil, many feelings of self-pity and anger eventually will consume you or push you to make changes. I decided to change.

It started with a change in attitude. The sun didn’t rise and set because I existed, and I could make a decision every day to decide how that day to be happy. Happiness started with a realization of how lucky I was to have anything at all.

That realization expressed provides the feeling of gratitude. When it comes to events that are difficult to deal with, your designation of either good or bad is your perception of the experience. The experience is still the same. You might as well be grateful for it.

Gratitude leads to more Gratitude.

Once you take a moment to express your gratitude each day, it has been my experience that the momentum will build, and you will find more in your life to be grateful for. I have read that the act of being grateful is one of the most important emotions that you can experience because it opens the door for more things to enter your life that will deserve gratitude.

So I am most grateful for the time I take each day to appreciate fully what I experience in my life every day. Away from labels of good or bad, they are experiences that provide all of the situations that combine to teach me the things I need to know to follow my purpose. It is the moments of thankfulness that we find what is great in ourselves.