One of the things that I have become more sure of each day is I used to know a lot more about life than I do today. You are led to believe early in life, and you will eventually figure all of this out as you gain more experience and become a bit more mature. Yet the older I get, the more I recognize the gap between life and what I know is growing wider by the moment!

This is not to say that I am becoming less intelligent. On the contrary,  it simply means that as I have gained more experience, I attain a certain level of understanding, which unfortunately causes you to know the things you have believed most of your existence about people and life has been chiefly inaccurate or become irrelevant with the discovery of new information. I am sure of much less than I used to be, and that is OK. I have learned to maintain a balance in the unknown.

What I Used To Think

 

A few years ago, I believed I knew all I needed about relationships, people, finances, politics, and religion. Any topic you wanted to discuss, I was secure in my beliefs of how the world worked and not looking to test those parameters in any way.   I was happy and satisfied, knowing I was very proper and intelligent. We are willing to turn a blind eye to investigation when we are so sure about the true nature of a thing. But life is not a predictable equation, set to the simple calculations of fools.

A funny thing happens as you get older; like old paint on the side of a building, the ideas you carry that once used to show such surety slowly display signs of wear and crack. At first, you can ignore it, but once you start to look at things closely, you realize that what you knew before without the shadow of a doubt is not in any way correct. It happens with just one small thing at first, perhaps a belief about yourself, and once that is proven false, even if it positively helps your life, it is unnerving. If one of your beliefs can be wrong, they could all be wrong, and then what can you count on??

Answers Found, Not Answers at All

Finding an answer does not end the quest; it merely leads you to ask other questions that need to be answered. This cycle continues until you realize that as you answer the many questions you have, more questions come, and soon you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you know much less than you did yesterday.

I believe it would be helpful to give you a demonstration of this process in action. The first question I ever had was, why does bad stuff happen to me?  That was it. I had experienced a string of bad luck, poor choices, and unpopular decision, add-ons, and I couldn’t fathom why this happened to me. Here is a growth opportunity.

The old me would think I didn’t deserve these bad things because I was a good person and never harmed anyone, so why am I being cursed? That often turned into a wave of self-pity and selfishness, unproductive, harmful, and just plain painful.

What I found to be the Answer

Life is full of experiences, some may be more pleasant to experience than others, but they all have merit and are designed to teach you something. If you are continually experiencing the same thing, perhaps you are just too dense to grasp the lesson. This was profound, and not surprisingly, those situations stopped occurring.

The questions that came next were predictable, and I think:  Is there a God? Why do bad things happen? What happens when you die? How should I feel? How should you treat others? What is the secret to being happy? What does love mean? Etc.

I am working on all these, but the most mind-boggling question has been, who am I? If you had asked me ten years ago, there would be a short easy answer, based on my job. But when you strip your occupation and titles of a family away, what are you? What makes you uniquely and individually? Is it your thoughts? Or is it the person who sees the ideas? Either way, these questions will keep coming until you have an answer.

Still Not That Smart

I do not have the complete answer to the question of who I am yet and what I am supposed to be doing here because I am not wise enough, and I may never be. I love to learn from the experiences life presents, take those I know, and apply them positively to my knowledge. I am increasing my quality of life and improving the experience for those I encounter.

So as I have searched for answers, I have found many questions. My journey displays clearly and concretely that I know much less today than I did yesterday! I am sure my knowledge will continue to shrink as I get to see the world and the universe better, and I am OK with that. How much you know it is a small thing, and it is how you use what you know to help others and make the world a little bit better place that counts.

“The older I get, the less I know. By that, I mean the less I am sure of. I view people with strong opinions on the big stuff with distrust. I don’t think we should have certainties on faith and politics; I think we should be open-minded.” Pam Ferris.

 “Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.” Immanuel Kant

“The older you get, the quieter you become. Life humbles you so deeply as you age. You realize how much nonsense you’ve wasted time on.”Anonymous

“Never, no, never did nature say one thing and wisdom say another.” Edmund Burke

“Knowledge is knowing what to say. Wisdom knows when to say it.”Anonymous