Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?
As human beings, we are blessed with many different forms of expression. Emotions are one of the things that not only help us express ourselves and communicate with others, but they also work to communicate with ourselves exactly how we are feeling.
When experiencing sadness or pain, sometimes people cry. Does this show weakness or not?
I think that each person has to answer this for themselves. I can only explain how I feel about crying, which is uncomfortable at best. At least, that is how it has mostly been in my life. Yet, I admit that my perceptions have changed as I have aged. You can decide for yourself if I am on the right track of growth or not.
Three Reasons to Cry
For most of my adult life, I tried to adopt rules that made sense to guide me in all sorts of situations. I have spent a lot of time dealing with people, and if you work with enough people, eventually, someone will cry. That is life. It took me all of 10 seconds to realize how much I hated seeing other people in distress; it is really upsetting to me. So I tried to follow simple rules when it was OK to cry.
The first reason was extreme physical pain. If your arm gets broken or a leg gets severed, then crying is a realistic option. It hurts, and it tells the world you are in distress. It is almost an instinctive reaction to a stimulus. Certainly understandable and, most important understandable to me.
Second, if you experience a profound loss, a death in the family can make anyone really sad, and I understood that might lead to a few tears being shed. I certainly cried a few tears when my loved ones passed away. I cried a whole lot when a friend of mine died in a car accident 27 years ago.
Third, when something remarkable happens in sports. I had teared up a few times. I coached a lot back then, and often I would get emotional at the end of a season because I put so much into it. Also, I got a little misty when the Red Sox won in 2004 and the Patriots in 2001. That was acceptable to me. Despite the scene below, I think there should be crying in baseball. (continued below the video)
I Was Foolish and Wrong
As I have had a wider experience in life, I have concluded that my “rules” were designed to create fake control where no control could exist.
I went through a period of depression where waves of sadness would continually hit me out of nowhere, and I had no control over whether I cried or not. It had very little to do with strength or weakness. It just was.
Those times ended finally, but I had been given a new perspective on the way that tears come to you. I realized that, and I believe it today, that the measure of strength or weakness is not going to come from if you cry or not, but from how you live your life. For all things, there is a season: a time to laugh and a time to cry.
Cry It Out Loud
It still makes me a bit uncomfortable when others cry because I am not sure how to provide the comfort they need. It is a call of distress to me, and I am unsure how to handle it. I also would have a hard time crying in front of someone else, and I would do it by myself but fight against it if I was in the company of others. Yet, I would not judge someone, either strong or weak, if they were crying. I would look at them with compassion and be confused about giving them the comfort that they needed. As I continue to grow as a person, I hope that I will become more comfortable with this side of the human spirit. I think it takes a lot of strength to be comfortable enough with yourself no matter what.
Be prepared for others to back away if you are crying. It is not something that many people are comfortable dealing with, and that is ok. We are all on our own journey and need different lessons. In the end, it is an emotion that allows for a release of sadness, frustration, grief, fear, or something else. That is it. No need to fear it.
Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?
Thank you, Fergie, for your contribution to this writing today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz4Gnw9SbeA
