Tag Archives: Thought

22

Every Little Thing You Do Matters

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everything you do matters
All of your actions and thoughts determine your experience.

Looking back on my life, it has become apparent a vast array of things exist that I was never taught. There were lessons I think needed to be passed on to me I missed out on. As a young man, I lived life without real consideration for the impact of my actions or thoughts on the big picture of my life and how my actions affected others’ lives. I had no idea of the value I could provide or the influence I might have in my unique life.

I had often wondered how things might have been different if someone had pulled me aside when I was 15 and told me that everything I did mattered, for good and evil. The fact that I was creating the energy of my life led directly to my experiences. How would my life have been different if I knew I had a much more significant impact on life than I thought? Some people make things happen, and others have things happen to them.   I probably wouldn’t have listened anyway, but it would have been good to have the option.

Why It All Matters

Simply put, the things you do in your life make up who you are. You are not

Positive thinking
Try this and reap the benefits

permanently marred by a wrong decision in most cases, but until you stop the negative actions, you will see a lot of negative results. Growing up and even in my adult life, I found the convenient way more appealing for short-term comfort,  rather than doing what I knew was the right thing. Although those things might be more difficult or uncomfortable.

If you believe in quantum physics basics, all thoughts react with your cellular makeup to produce a positive or negative vibration depending on the thoughts and emotions you predominantly experience. It is the idea that what you put out into the world, you receive back. I freely admit that I didn’t buy this in the past, but my observations over the past years have led me to believe this is more important to your happiness and enjoyment of life than any other factor. Your thoughts, beliefs, and actions create your existence. You are dictating the amount of joy you find.

The thoughts to choose and Not to choose

positive action
Be a positive force in your own life!

When you choose to be kind, friendly, forgiving, loving, and grateful, these experiences you manage to get back from others. I have seen this work in my own life, and this is an easy one to test out for yourself as well. Approach the day you experience, the people you meet, and the situations you encounter positively and see what you get back.

It never seems to fail that if I am having a “bad day,” I am entertaining thoughts on the negative side, being judgmental, critical, angry, or mean. The negative focus of these thoughts and emotions will bring them more energy. So your molehill of emotions will proliferate into a mountain if you let it. Once I realize the ideas are there and I let them go, things turn around. The great thing is that anyone can do this, and it doesn’t take any more talent than being conscious of your thoughts and the energy they contain. A change in focus can happen instantaneously.

Overcome the “Bad” in Life

People in the world do bad things all the time; you always have a choice to let that person affect you negatively or to forgive them and not allow them to affect your life. A hateful act can’t be negated with more hate. Just like violence only leads to more violence, hatred will only lead to more hostility. You always have the choice of what thoughts you entertain in your life. You give others power over you when you react to a hostile act negatively.

Where your focus goes, energy flows, and you can choose not to let negative people, events, and situations drag you into a flow of negative thought. We are programmed toward the negative. If you don’t believe that, look no further than the “news” programs offered. Negative stories are the norm and are designed to make you afraid of life. Pay attention because there are far more positive people and situations in the world than negative. Please focus on the positive, give them the power of your thought, and more of the same will enter your life.

Finally Thinking What We Want

The types of thoughts we entertain and give our attention to will determine the kind of life we experience each day, and we each have the conscious ability to decide what those thoughts will be. You decide if you choose the negative side of anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, dishonesty, fear, inferiority, or ego. Or you can choose positive thoughts of joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth to determine the kind of world you experience.

If only I had this realization when I was a young man, I would probably be a billionaire right now because I wouldn’t waste my time on trivial things that didn’t matter. I know from the people I deal with daily that if you want to be miserable, spend your time complaining and looking for problems. If you want to be happy in life, focus on the positive things you control. Be optimistic about your life and what the future holds.

It is all up to you.

Some Great Quotes

“Live life to the fullest, and focus on the positive.” – Matt Cameron.

“Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.” – Roy T. Bennett.

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” – William James.

“Change may not always bring growth, but there is no growth without change.” – Roy T. Bennett.

“I think positive things will happen if you just look at life.” Jake Owen.

22

Spiritual But Not Religious

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People define themselves in many different ways, spiritual but not religious is a way I have thought of my relationship with God for about half my life. Nobody has ever asked me what the definition of this statement means to me until today, and it was astonishing to me I had never really written it down. I am stating my views in this way to define spirituality and why it has little to do with religion for me. The tableau of results depicts my path, and like most trials in life, I am on it due to my choices.

Being Conscious of Choices

The first thing I will explain about myself is that I have become more conscious of my choices in life over the years and the subsequent repercussions each decision will bring to your life. We are all programmed from the time we are born to the actions and beliefs which will help us become accepted in our culture and to belong. If you are not aware of your choices, then this programming will make the choices for you.

I was raised by my parents and family religiously, and I went to church every Sunday for my entire childhood. I believed what people told me wholly and blindly. As I grew in life, I noticed inconsistencies between what they told me and the life I experienced. When I started to question these things, the answers I found moved me away from my upbringing. But not away from God. We are all gifted with the ability to ask and choose for ourselves, and I think that is a skill that makes us uniquely human.

Nobody Excluded

One of the teachings I found most incorrect was that if someone didn’t believe as you did, they were wrong and probably going to be denied a trip to heaven in the afterlife and sent to an eternity of punishment in hell. As a child with a pure heart, I never understood how a God, who is love, would ever make anything like that happen. The conclusion I came to was that they wouldn’t.

I have found there is the ability to be a great person and the ability to be the opposite of that inside each of us. You have to fight to be the best person you can be because it is far too easy to drift into the negative. Since we all have goodness inside them, all people deserve redemption. I think a person’s actions demonstrate how they are living life right now. Most people are doing the best they can at this moment, and they deserve our encouragement, not our condemnation.

I Am Responsible

So to be spiritual means to me that I am responsible for my choices and the reactions I have in life. If I fight to continually act in kindness, understanding, empathy, sympathy, joy, and love in dealing with all people, then I feel I am on the right path in life, doing what I can to make things better.

On the other hand, should I choose not to live that way and give in to the easy decisions of being hateful of others who think differently from me, judging others, indifferent to the difficulties of others, acting from a place of fear, then the harm I cause is my responsibility in life. I have found that which choice I make leads directly to my experiences in life.

In Conclusion

To sum it up, I believe being spiritual is my relationship with God and what that means. Seeing that all people are connected, even those we may not like. Through our common humanity, we are here in this life together. To judge someone negatively because of their religion, nationality, ethnic heritage, skin color, or other factors is not Godly.

On the sunny side of Sunday, I have met many people who preach love, but in the shade of the rest of the week speak hate about those who are different from them. To be exclusionary, judgmental, and hateful are not positive traits of any Godly organization or people I want to be associated with within my life.

We all can choose which road we take. Acceptance or judgment? Kindness or meanness? Giving or taking? Love or fear? You will decide for yourself as I have and continue doing for yourself. That is what defines spirituality to me.

“Spirituality is not running away from the battlefield of life. Spirituality is blossoming every dimension of life with love, responsibility, equanimity, creativity and compassion.” – Amit Ray

 

 

22

Feel Better

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Many times, we all wish we could wave a magic wand and feel better, happier, and more engaged in life. Unfortunately, I don’t have a magic wand, but we all can change our mood from bad to good by making the correct action choices. I can’t guarantee these actions will lead to a better feeling, but they might make you a happier life.

It doesn’t take any specialized training or skill to do this, other than the ability to take the actions at the right time. None of these things are beyond you or me, and that is an excellent thing. So find your way to the enjoyment of life and happiness on the path and follow one of these simple steps. The satisfaction you gain is going to be your own. These are methods to create a definite bounce in your life.

You’ve Got To Move It.

Exercise is important. Not only for the length of your life but the quality

jogging

of living, you are experiencing. We are all given a body at birth, and that mechanism functions best when it has regular exercise. If exercise isn’t a part of your program, that is when many issues with your body crop up. There is a long list of these illnesses, from heart disease to obesity; all of them are going to diminish your quality and enjoyment of life. The sad part is that a simple walk three or four times a week could enhance your physical and mental experience.

The choice to exercise gives immediate and long-term benefits for your body and significant short-term benefits to your mind, mood, and feelings. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins into your system, which leads you to feel good in the short term. There have been studies done where exercise has been proven to decrease feelings of depression over the long run. Your body is a mechanism that was made to move, so move, and you will see your mood enhanced today and for the long-term as well. Any exercise will do, so choose what resonates with you. Biking, jogging, lifting weights, aerobics classes, yoga, martial arts, hiking, or any other physical activity that gets the heart pumping will work. Get active and get happy.

Take Actions Big and Small

This is simple advice, but how many of us do what we love as a mood enhancer. Each of us has things we love to do. For me, it is writing about the things I think about; for others, it may be painting, cooking, tinkering with engines, or anything you connect with. When you do this thing, time will most likely disappear and seem to fly by—feeling low? Take some time to find these activities to carry you through.

Sometimes simple activities can provide us with a sense of happiness as well. Doing chores like making the bed, doing the dishes, or folding laundry can provide people with a sense of satisfaction and even joy. There is peace in doing these activities, a chance to focus your conscious mind on a task. This direct focus allows your subconscious mind to work on and give you answers to issues in your life. So don’t avoid the chores. Use them to make you happier, because believe it or not, they will.

Practice Intentional Kindness

Being kind to others leads to an increase in a positive mood—no doubt about that. When you are not feeling overly optimistic, it is usually because you are trapped in your negative thoughts about life. Something didn’t go right, or that might go wrong, and how will that affect me? Will I experience suffering? When you purposely seek out opportunities to be kind, you move your focus from inside to outside yourself. This change in direction brings a natural evolution in mood and attitude.

A straightforward practice I have heard about is the five acts of kindness. That means that you choose a day and must find at least five specific compassion points for others on that day. You don’t have to make them enormous, grand activities, but simple acts of kindness that enhance the lives of another human being. That act by itself will increase the joy in your life and, of course, make the experience much more enjoyable to you.

Retrain Your Mind

It is estimated that it takes about 21 days to establish a new habit. If you are mentally straying to the negative and want a favorable bounce, then start to notice things to be grateful for. I have heard that seeing and charting just three new things every day to be thankful for will allow you to change the way you think. Your mind will naturally start to look for the positive things and let the negative slide. This bounce can be immediate but will also become that habit after 21 days.

Imagine changing your whole outlook in just 21 days and seeing the world from an overall different perspective. Each moment we have in life is precious, and it is totally up to us if we spend it in anger and misery or joy and happiness.

So there are a few of the positive bounce methods that I have used to improve my outlook and attitude daily. I hope that you can use some of these methods too. Look at your mood and thoughts, and if they continually land on the negative, then it is time to make some changes.

“I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.” — Walt Disney

“Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.” — William James

“I’m a very positive thinker, and I think that is what helps me the most in difficult moments.” — Roger Federer

21

Defining Fear

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In all lives, there are two forces always fighting for control, fear and love. What is fear really but the thoughts about things that will cause us to suffer? We all deal with these thoughts to some degree. Some people who are consciously aware of the moment are not affected very much because they avoid the two traps of fear. At the same time, those who do not contemplate their thoughts and see the moment are ruled by fear and all of its cynical cousins, judgment, anger, selfishness, and a lack of empathy. Look at yourself today and see where fear is sitting in your consciousness. Is it front and center, or have you conquered it and placed it safely in a cage in the back of your mind. Remember, we all feel fear at some point; the key to life is how we deal with it.

Fearful History

There are two ways that fear enters into your thoughts and pervades your feelings and actions. One is when we think of bad things that have happened in the past—remembering painful experiences from earlier days in our life experience. When you feel fear and have a conscious awareness of it, many try to push it away, bury it deep in ourselves and not deal with it. For a while, that can work, but eventually, it will pop out when you least expect it, outside of your control. The original episode of fear could have happened when you were five years old, or 30 years old, when the concern arises rather than pushing it down, invite it to stay.

Look at your fear and face it back to its origin. Something occurred, which caused you to suffer. It could have been a lack of care, a break in trust, a physical or psychological pain that you have pushed down and never dealt with before. Let the fear enter your mind, get to know it, and face it head-on. Investigate them. Where did they come from to visit you? Accept them and forgive those who might have caused the suffering, including yourself. The past is over and dead, and nothing can change what has happened. Letting it control your experience right now is a waste of time and effort. Face the fears of the past, allow them to exist, and leave you alone.

Future Fear

Fears’ other big weapon is the future. Unlike the past, the end has not happened yet and is wide open to possibilities. Fear and worry rob you of your freedom as you live your life hiding from problems created inside the fertile walls of your imagination. Your imagination is a powerful tool, it can guide you to great things, or it can paralyze you and rob you of your potential. Worry and fear of the future is a misuse of your most powerful tool of imagination. Creating scenarios that will lead to suffering but never really existed. These worries will stop people from following their dreams and doing what they want because fear says they might look foolish, or not someone else might think poorly of them.

Fighting your imagination is a tricky thing, but it works similarly to facing your past. Embrace the fears and follow them to their source. Fear of abandonment, loss, being alone, or the biggest one of all, dying. All people fear something. Learning to deal with it actively, embrace it, and face your fear will take you to its source. Conscious awareness of your concerns and their origins will free you to use your valuable imagination for good in your life. In your imagination, great things reside, which once thought we could bring into reality. They are creating the best future for yourself and the world you can. Only when we conquer our fear and move forward.

Society of Fear

We are inundated with messages of fear continually in our community. If you watch the “news” from a significant network, their job is to create fear in your mind. It is not to keep you informed because they choose what you hear and how the message is presented. People who are afraid are easy to control and manipulate. Don’t allow others to control you with fear. Live in the moment. Are you in danger at this moment? If not, then don’t let fear move you to stereotype or label anyone else as an immigrant, Russian, Korean, or anything else. People are people just like you with worries and desires all on their own. To see anything else is a manipulation of the facts.

We are inundated with images of the perfect physical body, or the perfect home, perfect marriage, perfect relationship, perfect this or perfect that. Perfection is impossible, and feeling fear about not measuring up is delusional. Looking inside yourself and being the person you were meant to be is most important. Put the fear of what others think of you or how you measure up to the fake standard of our society. Be the best you that you can that is good enough for everyone.

Finally

To lessen the impact fear has on your life, invite it to the surface of your life. Look at it and analyze it rather than push it way down inside of yourself. Shine the light of reason on it, and it will cease to be fearful to you. We all have fear in many areas of life because we want to avoid pain. Pain is going to come when it comes; often, its anticipation is worse than the actual situation itself. Face your fear with courage and thought, seeing its origins, and you will rise above it.

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”― Plato.

“Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.” ― Robert Louis Stevenson.

“Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more so that we may fear less.”
― Marie Curie

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”― Franklin D. Roosevelt.

21

There’s A Light

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When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

light in the darkness jonathan hilton
Are Your Ideas In the Darkness?

There are times in everyone’s life when they feel like they are all by themselves, with only their beliefs to guide them.  These times are opportunities to define your life, what your principles are, and how you will share this with the world. Will you continue to think as you always have? Or will you move in the direction of change and growth? That is a test that life likes to give us from time to time, and we must find the lesson and maintain our humanity and compassion in the process. There is no question difficult times are tough to endure but they bring with them an opportunity.  One way or another these moments will come to define your life, providing you with depth in the way you view life and your place in it.  You will have the chance to become more understanding of the plight of others in the world or you can build bitterness around your own situation.  The decision is truly yours. What light do you bring into the world?  One of illumination or destruction?

The Dark Side

walking into the darkness
Fear-based thought will lead you to the darkness.

When difficult times arrive, you may forget the soft glow of the idea you strongly believe in, you can lose your positive attitude. This experience can cause disillusion, anger, hatred, and, most of all, self-pity. Why is everyone against me? If they were real friends, they would support me no matter what. Poor me! These are natural emotions and thoughts, but that is all that they are.  We are not our thoughts or emotions. In this case, they are all caused by the actions and opinions of others.  The danger is that once you start down the path of self-pity and anger, you are in danger of staying there for a long time, if not forever.

All of these are fear-based emotions and thoughts, which can have no other destination than to make you unhappy, angry, and scared.  There is no way that you can embrace the good in something and grow if you spend all of your time, though, and effort in self-pity and anger. These emotions can become pervasive in all aspects of your life, and relationships end; you will find that you look at everything with a veil of suspicion, and it will become nearly impossible to be truly happy.  This change can be caused by any tragedy in your life, losing a job, character assassinations, the death of a loved one, or any of the significant obstacles of life.  Fortunately, this is not permanent or fatal unless you want it to be.

The Light

When you carry the light of an idea into the darkness, you will always have a choice, for

walking in the light
Thoughts and actions based on love will bring you to light no matter where you are

every adverse reaction above, there is a positive choice available to you.  This choice is the path of growth because these decisions come from love.  Compassion, understanding, kindness, and forgiveness are all examples of this type of reaction.  It is pretty easy to display these characteristics when times are good and everything is going your way, but quite a different story when facing challenges.  You get laid off from your job unexpectedly, how do you react? It would be understandable if you were angry and felt it was unfair and wished terrible things on all of those responsible, but what will that accomplish when you look at it?

You will allow the things that happened to you to define you and all of your actions.  Or you can accept that it happened and look for the positive. This optimism may be the push you needed to finally follow your dream and become a doctor or an engineer or whatever you have always wanted to do.  Difficult times and opportunities often walk hand in hand if you keep your eyes open.  Forgive those that you feel wronged you, accept what has happened, and move forward with courage. I can’t tell you for sure, but open your eyes and embrace the changes, and you may find yourself significantly happier than when you began this journey.

So if you feel like you are marching into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believe in, make that idea one that honors you and leads to a more significant light in the world. If it creates love, it will do that. If it starts with fear, it will most likely lead to misery and pain. Look for the light in the situations you face, and even the worst things can ultimately positively impact you and the world.  There is no way to change the past and what has happened. You have one hundred percent control over how you react to them.

Into the light

 

21

Wishes

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What do you wish you spent more time doing Ten years ago?

Five years ago, life was very different.
Five years ago, life was very different.

Ten years bring many life changes. I have changed jobs a few times, moved to new locations, and changed my entire outlook on life.

Looking back,  it is kind of amazing that so many experiences came to me in the short period of a few years.

Now, like most people looking through the lens of experience, there are many things I wish that I had been doing earlier in my life. But all is a process, and you have to follow them step by step. What seems like wasted time is really time to learn.  A few of these lessons follow.

I Don’t Think I Thought Enough.

positive-thinkingOne of the things that I really wish I spent more time doing was thinking.  Not the egoic thoughts of judgment and criticism, I had plenty of those, but time spent contemplating the wonder of life and how to live it and be happy doing it.

I spent way too many years just assuming that I knew the answers when I really wasn’t even aware of the right questions.  It is an inevitable part of the aging process that when you reach the 40’s you start to reevaluate your thoughts, and you start to see through the cracks quite clearly because you are just not happy even though you did all that you were supposed to do.

However, I am also wise enough to know that I couldn’t have possibly spent more time thinking five years ago because I was not ready to absorb the lessons life had for me.  In time, I can only hope that I am a willing receiver and am moving my thoughts in the right direction—kindness, acceptance, and understanding.

Understanding  Friendship Better

pravs-j-hold-on-to-friendshipFriendship is a two-way street, and I was the kind of person five years ago who thought I had many friends.  I had a lot of acquaintances with whom I shared a job or an interest in golf but very few friends.  I wish that I had invested more time in developing those relationships on my part.

When hard times come, you find out who you can count on and whom you can’t.  I don’t blame anyone but myself for this realization.  I think I just expected friendships to continue without any real investment on my part.  Since all relationships are two-way streets, I have to conclude that the disappearance of so many in a time of crisis has to reflect my own contribution to those relationships.

I should have been investing more into those relationships a long time ago.  There are many people I miss. Those who I laughed with sharing a joke over lunch, or just in passing jest. The loss highlights my failure as a friend was a significant shortcoming.  I, of course, would never value friendship as much as I do today if I hadn’t had that experience.  The friends I make in life, and the world are all so very cherished by me. Any person who cares enough about me to invest interest and time is indescribably valued.   Sometimes it is lessons learned the hard way that lasts.

Not Doing It Alone

It is OK to accept a helping hand once in awhile and to give one as well.
It is OK to accept a helping hand once in a while and to give one as well.

There are some dark and difficult times in all lives, and mine was the darkest and most difficult seven years ago.  There is little value in getting into the details because they don’t matter much.  But I was in dire need of help then but did all that I could to avoid getting it.  I pushed away those who cared about me so that my depression and problems wouldn’t “bother” their lives.  I suffered in silence, and the keyword here is suffered.

Suffering is a part of life, but it can be made much less difficult if you don’t choose to suffer all alone.  There were plenty of people willing to help, but when you are in a hole, you don’t see the value.  At least not until long after the need for help is imminent.  I should have asked for help and allowed others to help me. I did not.

This was a valuable lesson for me though I think as I read things people post about struggles that they are having, I am glad to offer support and encouragement to them because they may, in fact, be in a hole of their own if they need help in how to get out. Hopefully, they know to ask.  I may not know the answer, but I will attempt to help.

Ten years have brought a lot of change. I had never written a significant word of any kind in my entire life, I had never heard of a blog, and I was shoulder deep in negative, self-defeating thoughts.  It has been an interesting time period. Any wish to do anything differently is really just a wasted thought because all experiences are a gift that provided the life lessons to become a better person, and for that, I am grateful.

 

21

Watching Thoughts

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Inside all of us, there is a constant running dialogue of thought. This thought stream is going on all the time, and we never take a break.   In meditation or just moments of conscious awareness, you can pull back and notice all of these thoughts happening and how they affect you.  Left unchecked, there is no filter, and thoughts can positively and negatively run all over the place.  Each thought that we choose to engage with will dictate feelings felt, spoken words, and action.  It is important to listen to this talk and see where your thoughts are leading you, and then you can consciously pick and choose the thoughts you want to act upon.  The positive and negative experiences in your life are largely under your control by the thoughts you choose to engage with and those you let pass you by. Choose well!

How to Let it Slide

Letting thoughts slide by us is a skill our society doesn’t teach.  When you are conscious of the thoughts being created by you, you can look at each one and determine if it is one to accept, interact with, or investigate further. Or should you just let it slide by and move into the ether of forgetfulness?  The use of simple questions will help you determine how to treat your thoughts.  Where does that come from? Who does this thought belong to? Is it helpful?  Is this good for me or anyone else? 

Ask these questions about all the thoughts you entertain and hear the answers.  Your initial instinct about these things is usually going to be the right one.  Thoughts come from society, people we have contact with, the media, our education, our life experience, basically all things we have experienced in some way have led to the thoughts in our minds.  Where you choose to put your attention determines the emotional tenor of your life. If you are continually unhappy: Look at your thoughts.  If you are happy all the time: Look at your thoughts.

Three thoughts to Avoid

Moving beyond the continual thoughts and move into a more positive existence is to notice and eliminate these three types of thoughts. Notice when you use them and how they affect your general mood.

  1. The need for control- Rather than allowing things to be as they are, you constantly think everything needs your personal approval and guidance to work out how you want.   Trying to control outcomes is building an attachment to one particular outcome. That means that suffering will result if things work out any other way, even if that other way was better than you could have imagined.  Let go of the need to control everything and focus on reacting as your best, highest self to everything.
  2. The need for approval– One of my weaknesses in life is always worrying about what others thought of me.  I have found that first, they don’t think of me very often, and second, the thoughts of others only affect you as much as you let them. When you spend your time doing things you imagine others will approve of, you are not living from your true self.  You are living from a lie created by other people. You more than likely don’t have your best interest at heart.  Notice yourself thinking about how another will react, then do what you know is right, regardless of these imagined thoughts in someone else’s head. You will be living and be acting from your true self.
  3. The need to judge-Thousands of years of evolution and instinct are wrapped up in our thoughts. In years past, our ability to size up a person or a situation was a life or death decision.  Now our mind is thrust into a situation where we allow judgment to define all people we meet. Too tall, too loud, wrong religion, too young, too old, or any other factor a person can use to categorize and usually with negative connotations.  Judgment is the opposite of acceptance. To be accepted, you have to accept others as they are. See these thoughts forming in your head, and in most cases, it is the healthy, kind thing to let them slide on by.  If you run into a knife-wielding maniac, it is good judgment to avoid him. But it is not good judgment to treat everyone like a knife-wielding maniac.  Don’t let your self-talk go crazy.  Recognize the need to judge for what it is.

Thinking well and being aware of thoughts can bring positive things to your life if you know what is happening and listen to the thoughts you say to yourself. Never accept thoughts that are degrading to you or put you down in any way. Only accept thoughts that you would find acceptable to say to another person.  Often we are far harsher with ourselves than we would ever be speaking to someone else.  This is a vital part of learning to care about yourself and appreciate all of the good things you bring to the world. Until you appreciate them, it will be hard for others to see them as well.

In fact, you cannot have a positive, exciting life and a negative mind.
~ Joyce Meyer

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.
~ Zig Ziglar

If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, you never will change the outcome.
~ Michael Jordan

A bad attitude is the worst thing that can happen to a group of people. It’s infectious.
~ Roger Allan Raby

The only disability in life is a bad attitude.
~ Scott Hamilton

The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.
~ Foster’s Law

 

Spiritual

My Shift in Progress

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Understand that there are great gifts that come with getting older , we shift into a new understanding.
Understand that there are great gifts that come with getting older, we shift into a new understanding.

The recent passing of Dr. Wayne Dyer has led me to contemplate some of the thoughts that he provoked in me that led to my own personal growth. One of Dr. Dyer’s projects was called the Shift. The shift was a movie and a book about finding your true purpose in life and doing the things that truly make you happy. It teaches many wonderful lessons, and the project has a lot of layers. You can watch it more than once and something new will jump out at you each time.  The shift is the natural movement in life that we experience as we age and become more experienced.  We shift in personal empowerment. Here are some of the lessons I learned from this wonderful project.

We are Connected You and Me

We start to look at the world and see the connections to everyone and everything. As younger people, most buy into a philosophy of competition and separation.  We are all connected with each other and everything and that is a phenomenon I would never have considered 15 years ago.

Money Doesn’t Matter

The motivations of life change as you move along in life. It isn’t the material possessions and the money that motivates you anymore. Now it is the ethics of a situation and the people we are associating with. It my shiftis also the peace that we find in the quiet moments of life. As younger people, there are no quiet moments of life. That is the way life is. Serenity comes with contemplation and understanding of what makes you truly happy in life.

Miracles Can and Do Happen

One of the greatest shifts is that we move toward accepting the possibility of miracles in our lives.  To believe in this possibility will provide a wonder to your life that will energize you. Not everything can be planned out and you are not responsible for the actions of the Universe. If you let them and look for them, you can see miracles almost every day. Miracles can be a part of your life.

Quiet Times are Valuable

Meditation should and can be pursued as a daily practice. I personally never considered meditation as a practice when I was younger. I saw it as a waste of valuable time. Now I think that there is no more valuable way to spend your time. Looking to make your mind quiet allows you to speak to your soul. That voice is much quieter than your mind but is rarely wrong. I learned to listen.

We are Connected to Everything

Being an individual in the world can be a scary thing. When you realize that there is part of you in all changeBetterthings, you feel much less alone and the fear dissipates. Look at the sky, the trees, the animals or any part of nature and if you look closely you can see yourself. There is a feeling of connection to the world that only humans can experience.

Acceptance is Better than Judgment

Finally, the need to judge everything and everyone lessens and disappears. You realize that all people are fighting their own difficult battles in life and in different circumstances, you could be right where they are. People make a million decisions each and every day and sometimes they do not have positive results. There is no value in a judgment of others, it is only through acceptance that your personal power can grow. Judgment is not hurting those you judge but the one who is doing the judging.

In the end, I am sure that I am not saying anything that others haven’t already learned from Wayne Dyer, but for me, his voice allowed life to make a lot more sense to me. The movie The Shift is available for free online for the next week. I urge you to take the time and watch it.

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Gratitude

Friendship Thing

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grateful for friendship
I have known this guy for over forty years and he still makes me laugh by ignoring signs and being funny. (he is trespassing)

It should not be difficult to look at one’s friends and to feel an overwhelming gratitude.  For me, that is certainly the case.  Friendship isn’t a relationship that you can buy or force anyone to participate in, it is a connection over a shared experience that binds you to that other person in a positive way.   I think that the right positive friendships in life can enhance your life.  At this point, I have come to realize that all friends are not created equal, but all friendships are a valuable thing, and here are my thoughts on why.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Life is too short to go without laughter, and a good friend can usually bring about a laughing fit about almost anything.  It doesn’t matter how long you have been friends, looking at life in a humorous way is going to allow your friendship to grow.   I have always been drawn toward the people who can snicker at the day to day events we are faced with.  If you can’t laugh about it then you are probably going to be spending a lot of time crying.  Think about your friends and how many have been centered around laughter.  I am having a hard time thinking of one person that I have enjoyed spending time with that didn’t involve laughter and joking of some kind.   I am sure it is possible to be friends if you don’t laugh but it would seem to me a much more dour prospect.

Think about your friends and how many have been centered around laughter.  I am having a hard time thinking of one person that I have enjoyed spending time with that didn’t involve laughter and joking of some kind.   I am sure it is possible to be friends if you don’t laugh but it would seem to me a much more dour prospect.

Old Friends, Always Friends

grateful for friends
All friends are valuable and don’t need to be labeled.

I was blessed to grow up in a small town in Maine, where I went to school with the same group of kids until the seventh grade.  The neat thing about these people, is that now almost forty years later when I run into one of these people, the time that has passed does not matter at all.

With some, it is as if no time has passed at all, the conversation is a bit different but the relationship is still the same as it was back in the old days.  The shared experience of growing up like that apparently builds a bond that isn’t easily broken or forgotten.

 I am grateful for these relationships because no matter what is happening in my life, those people know who you are and always accept you the way you are.  I am grateful for these connections.

Some Come and Go and That is OK

In life, I think friendship is often like the tide, inevitably moving in and out.  It has become a belief of mine, that people enter your life for a reason, most often to teach you something.  Friendship is no different.

Maybe it is how to do something or how you look at things, but the more you allow people into your lives the greater your personal growth is.  Unfortunately once the lesson is learned, these people often move out of your life.

This is OK because you will have to grow, be open to new experiences and new lessons that friends yet unmet will teach you.  The value of the old friends is not lessened by the fact that you have to move on for now.  You can keep in touch and when you see each other later in life, you will always have that shared experience.

Since new friends are a great path to growth, you always have to be willing to greet and make new friends, which can be difficult.   My advice is to take them wherever you can get them from.  I have learned much more from the friends I have made over the past year than they could ever imagine.

Toxic Friends

Not everything in friendship is a bowl of cherries.  Sometimes, there are people you are drawn to who initially are great, but after awhile you realize that all they do is talk about other people in a derogatory manner.   Sometimes it is as blatant as making a comment as soon as someone is out of earshot.

If they are doing this, what do they say when you are out of earshot?   Probably nothing good.  I am grateful that I haven’t had to deal with too many of these, but the ones I did have to deal with, taught me a lot.

I think there are only two choices here, change the dynamic of the friendship or move away from it.  The people that you choose to spend your time with will not only define you to the world but will impact how you feel and how you react in it.

Changing the dynamic is nearly impossible but give it a try.  When something negative is said about somebody, immediately say something nice about them.  I have done this twice and in both cases, the person found reasons not to discuss other people with me again.    Life is too short for negative thoughts and feelings, I am grateful to keep most negativity out of my life.

Thank You Friends

Friendship is one of the most important factors that makes this human experience worthwhile.  There is something about sharing, thoughts, ideas, laughs or good times that is bonding to all of us.   The educational experience, the work experience, the life experience, all of them are grounds for bonding through friendship and through friendship we are able to grow exponentially further than we could by ourselves.  Isn’t that the basis for blogging?  Putting your ideas out there and seeing if there are like minded people who can appreciate what you are thinking, feeling or doing?

Personally I am grateful for all of the friends that have entered my life, either for a season or a lifetime and I look forward to meeting those that come into my life in the future.  Friends are the measuring stick of Your reality.

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Gratitude

Grateful for Change

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leaves change and so do we
A picture I took at a random location of the fall foliage.

 The lessons that nature teaches us are on display all around us each and every day.  All we have to do is listen and being fortunate enough to live in an area the has a distinct four seasons, I am lucky to experience these changes and I am grateful for it.

For many years I am ashamed to say that I never really enjoyed or contemplated too much about it, but lately, I can’t help but be amazed and think about all that the changes of the season bring to the world.  Right now it is autumn in Maine and that means that each and every day you will see a wide array of colors, red, yellow, orange and even brown.  This change where once there was only green makes you think and often about gratitude.

On the Surface

Seeing the leaves change is a pretty miraculous thing. To think that nature knows exactly how to work itself for the trees to survive is amazing, and further than that there is the show they put on.  I have been fortunate enough to see, bright-colored leaves reflecting on the still waters of a fall lake surface.  It brings many thoughts to my mind as I look at the colors and understand them for what they are. Harbingers of what is to come and we merely need to listen to hear their warnings and to learn from them.

Change Is Constant

One of the best reminders of fall is that change is happening all around us all the time.

fall is a season which depicts change
Leaves are falling all around, it’s time I was on my way.

You may not be able to see it visually, but everything is changing all the time.  These variations are usually never as visual as the leaves but they are as real.  Each relationship, job, and personal journey is changing all the time.

No matter what you do and no matter what you think of your current circumstances, it matters little because soon they will be different because things are always changing.   Just like the fall will eventually give up its life to the oncoming winter, so must we learn to let go of our attachments to this life.

It is the values of these changes that make them appear good or bad.  Yet aren’t they simply just experiences?  The fall season helps me to contemplate and understand the changes that are happening in life all the time.  I have a gratefulness inside for all of the changes that have happened in my life and that growth is not possible without change.

Endings Are Just Endings

Another great thought of fall is the twilight of the year, the ending of summer and how this season represents an ending in our lives.  The phrase “The Autumn of our Lives”, captures this effectively.

I have a problem with this phrase because we simply do not know with any kind of certainty when this life is going to end.   it may be over in five minutes or it may last another 30-40 years.  Nobody knows.

When you look at the fall it will have an ending, just as all of our lives will, but there is a hidden promise in the fall.  It is there in every nostalgic feeling and thought, that eventually, the spring and beautiful summer will come again.  We just need to be patient.  All things will eventually end, that is the way that the universe works.  All things have a beginning, a middle and an ending.

This is not a bad thing, it is only a thing.   So it teaches you to enjoy the summer, or the fall or the winter or whatever season you are experiencing right now because that is all you have right now.  There may never be another summer to look forward to, so not completely enjoying today is a foolhardy choice.

The fall makes me grateful for each and every day and what it has to offer.

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