Tag Archives: treat others well

22

Standard Bearer

Leave a comment

Standards- a level of quality or attainment.

There is a level of behavior we will accept in any situation. These are our standards. Our standards exist in our relationships, our careers, and ourselves, and the level of quality we agree is the level of quality we will be defined by in life. Today the challenge is to look at the standards you accept in all phases of your life. Is it time to raise the standards of what you expect? This fact can only be discovered if you are more conscious of exactly what your standards of behavior are. It begins by looking at your thoughts, the resulting emotions, the words you use, and the actions you consciously take every day. What are your standards? Are there things you can no longer accept? Change is an inevitable part of life; if you are not happy with the way things are going, it is time to change.

Professional Standards

No matter what you do to earn a living, you have standards of the behavior you expect from those around you. Your self-esteem and value will determine the level of those standards in life. If you believe you are valuable, you will demand to be treated with respect in all interactions. The great thing is, that is most often how people will treat you.   It is not wrong or awkward to hold people to a standardsstandard of behavior, and it is the level at which you perceive your value and stick to it.

Your self-worth has been developed since you were very young. The messages you were sent as a child the way your parents, teachers, and peers treated you created your standards. It doesn’t matter what career you are in, and people will treat you accurately the way you allow them to, which comes from your criteria. Look at what you accept, then think about how you would like to be different and take nothing less than that behavior. It is not bitchy, difficult, or wrong to feel self-value and expect to be treated positively. It would help if you demanded it in the workplace.

Relationship Standards

When it comes to relationships of all kinds, standards are vital to the type of treatment you will accept and receive. Relationships are a difficult thing to learn how to manage. There is no class in school to help you manage all of the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that come from being in a relationship with someone, and you have to figure it all out on your own. Since most of us are in our teens when we standardsare forming these standards, they can be very inconsistent, varied, and all over. Our earliest experiences with love will build the base for all relationships that follow. If you accept bad behavior or lack self-esteem, you may think this is the type of relationship you deserve and the one you will get until you change your standards.

Look at your relationships today and see where your standards lie. Honestly, know where you are on your partner’s priority list and see if that is where you want to be. Is your standard too low, too high, or just right? This inquiry is the type of conscious thought that can improve your life. Love is difficult to manage because it comes with an equal slice of fear. Fear of being alone, being judged by others, failing, not being reasonable, or not being successful can always haunt you. All of these are rolled into relationships, and they help set the standards of what type of treatment you accept. Are you living out of love or fear? Set your criteria to love, acceptance, understanding, kindness, and support for your partner. Accept nothing less than that in return, or you will be living an unhappy life.

Your Standards

Then there are the standards you set for yourself. The behavior you accept from yourself will affect your life and the success you experience more than anything else. If you look in the mirror and you don’t like your fitness level, it is time to make a change. Start by looking at your standards for what type of food you eat standardsand how much exercise you are getting. Those standards need to change before you can. The same is true in finances or the quality of your relationships. What you accept from other people is going to be what you get.

The good news is that all of this can change and change quickly. We can change standards, and behaviors and experiences will change with them. You won’t lose 40 lbs in a day, but you can start your path to losing 40 pounds by setting higher standards for yourself and then being dedicated to living up to0 them. If you accept nothing less than your criteria, you have no choice but to improve in whichever areas you have chosen to focus on in your life. Where focus goes, energy flows.

First Thing to Do

The first thing to do is to identify what your standards are. Rest assured, you are achieving the standard you set for yourself. Set them higher if you want to experience improvement. It all starts with a conscious awareness of all of your thoughts on what you accept, how you deal with the resulting feelings, the words you speak to express them, and your actions. Nothing happens without your direct and consistent action.

“If you want to change your life, you have to raise your standards.” -Tony Robbins

“Key to success? Change the status quo. Raise your standards.” -Anonymous

“Never lower your standards to fit in with other people.” -Anonymous

 

22

Lose Your Attitude

Leave a comment

Attitude-a way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically is in a person’s behavior.

attitudeAttitude is everything because it is a result of the way we think and feel about everything in our existence, and shows the world just what we believe about ourselves. If you are not conscious of your attitude and why you think or feel a certain way about something, then you are at the mercy of that thought pattern. Many of our destructive issues resulting from low self-esteem stem from our attitude about ourselves and perceptions of the value we bring to. Today perceptions make a pact with yourself to be conscious of your position and the resulting experience that comes into your life because of it. Look at your thoughts, words, and actions and see how they reflect your attitude toward life, other people, and, most importantly, yourself.

Attitude Toward Life

Most people look at themselves as adults like they are set in stone. It is as if their attitudes about the world were poured into concrete when they were very young, and they never seek to revise them or improve them in any way. It is our attitude toward life that determines life’s attitude toward us. You attitudewill get precisely what you believe you will get from experience—your att, and yours the catalyst for life’s behavior toward you.

What do you believe about life? Is it fair? Is it cruel? Is it difficult? Whatever your attitude is toward life is what you will get from experience. Take a moment and become conscious of what those beliefs are.   If you radiate confidence and self-assurance, then the world will react accordingly. The same will be true if you lack confidence and are insecure. Life is an equal opportunity provider of challenges. Your attitude will determine the ease or difficulty with which you will face challenges. Create awareness in yourself of your feelings toward life. Expect more good than bad, and that is what you will experience.

Attitude Toward Others

It is essential to develop a positive attitude toward other people attitudebecause success rarely comes to one person by themselves. We are all interdependent in living our lives every day, and there is someone you rely on and someone that depends on you. It is our attitude toward others that determines their attitude toward us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your attitude should be to treat every person that you meet as if they are the most critical person in the world. Developing this mindset is a much more difficult task then it sounds. We are filled with bias, discrimination, judgment, and selfishness that limit our interactions with others. Being conscious of this will eliminate it as you treat others to treat you. Change your life by putting your interest in the stories of others ahead of your own. What can you learn from them? How can you help them? This attitude will increase your enjoyment of life and opportunities for success. Life isn’t all about you, understanding that is the beginning of really living.

Attitude toward Self

All people look at themselves as the hero of their own story. Their attitude and will determine if it is a success story or not. Your opinion about yourself develops continually over your life, and you can change that perception at any moment for the better or, the worse. It changes because of your actions and your attitude about these actions. Before a person can achieve attitudethe kind of life they dream about, they must become that kind of individual. If you want to be successful, then do the things successful people do. Set goals, take action, and be persistent in those actions until your goals are achieved. If you think you want to be something but set no goals and take no steps toward it, then you do not want that. This is your attitude.

Too often in life, we shortchange ourselves because we fear failure or what others are going to think of our efforts. These fears manifest in our minds and tell us: “You can’t!” “You mustn’t,” “People will think I am crazy.”, or any other negative message you can think of. A positive attitude toward yourself will erase those things. The human mind is only capable of entertaining one thought at a time. There is no benefit in negativity and many benefits to being positive. Why not consider positive thoughts and create an attitude of success for ourselves? Attitude is everything when it comes to success or failure.

So the challenge is to be conscious of your attitude today and be honest with yourself about what you find. If you lack in confidence and self-assurance, then start to change this. Set goals, write them down, take action toward them, and be persistent in following through until the goal is achieved. Your attitude will determine your experience in life with others and yourself. It all starts with knowing your thoughts, words, and actions today. Act as if success is already yours.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” ~ Maya Angelou

“Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.” ~ Og Mandino

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” —Ayn Rand

“Do what you have to do until you can do what you want.” —Oprah Winfrey

“Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.” —Henry Rollins

 

 

21

Your True Measure

Leave a comment

Your actions define you to the world

It is natural for an individual to look at the world from the inside out. The only perspective we have had our whole life is from our own mind’s eye. Often we develop a significant concern for how others treat us in the world. The fear seeps into every interaction we have and pulls us into a more selfish existence, worrying about how people manage us? What is in this for me? What about me? Worrying about how others treat you is a narrow perspective and will limit what you can give to the world. It is far better to build a concern with how you are treating others in your life and the world around you. Being a positive force in the world involves doing positive things for people and encouraging others to be the best versions of themselves possible. It all begins with a conscious awareness of the thoughts you entertain each day—the words these thoughts lead you to utter to the world. And, of course, the actions you take display what your base thoughts are to the world. You will define yourself in thought, word, and work.

Building Your Definition

The job of our mind is to interpret the world we live in. Let’s face it; our brain tells all stories from our perspective. If there is a conflict, of course, the other party is unreasonable and demanding. We are always in the right to us. But are we? How you choose to treat others is a clear picture of who you are, and there is no hiding from it. If you spend your time judging others, then you are judgmental. If you gossip and spread rumors about others, those whispers behind people’s backs show who you are.

Conversely, your choices to be kind, accepting, and caring about the lives of others also define you. Your focus is the key to identifying you in the world. Not what you think you are, but what you are to the world. It is easy to dehumanize someone when you think of them in abstract terms, like demographics, heritage, or ethnicity. All stereotypes dehumanize people and, by your thought, degrade you. How you choose to treat the people who bother you most tells the most about you. We all make a choice each day to do these things.

Being Empathetic to Others

Our ability to practice empathy is one of the tools we have to maintain our humanity in life. Using our minds to project ourselves into another person’s situation allows us to walk around in their shoes. Once you indeed do this, you are much less likely to be harsh in your treatment of them. Understanding how someone else lives and why they do what they do doesn’t excuse poor behavior, but it can allow you to follow somebody. If you were placed in a different set of circumstances, then you might be making the same choices. Bad as they might be.

One action you can take is to be aware of other people and how your work will affect them. At least in a way that shows an awareness of the needs of another person. All people are living a story, and each one is different. You would be a modified version of yourself if you experienced an unusual childhood, growth experience, and moral influences. That is what other people are, a modified version of you. Treat them as such. Understanding, kindness, and acceptance are universally helpful, and treating people this way brings more of these things into your life.

Three Skills to Develop for Treating People well

First, learn to be an active and present listener. When someone is speaking to you, be present. Don’t let your mind wander into what you are doing tomorrow or think about the past. Focus and be there for whoever is speaking. Listening shows caring, respect and allows a person to know that they have an outlet for their thoughts. Be curious, ask questions, and let another speak.

Secondly, when you do speak, be honest in all you say. That is a simple thing but shows people that they can trust you. All of our words should have the stamp of truth on them and allow for confidence with all of those who are listening. Speak honestly and expect the same in return.

Thirdly, in all of our actions, we focus on operating with integrity. Integrity is doing the right things, even if you are the only one who knows it. Treating others with integrity makes all interactions honest and opportunities for growth. You will also be setting an example for all others to follow in their way.

Be Kind

Finally, If there is one thing to focus on in all kinds of relationships, practice kindness in your interactions with everyone. Your heart belongs to you, regardless of how someone else acts; being kind is your choice. Suppose someone else needs compassion to give it. If you don’t think they need it, give it anyways. Consideration is a gift you give to the world that it needs. How you treat others defines you and will determine your impact on the planet.

It will all begin with the primary thoughts you have in your head. The ones you choose to entertain will get the focus in your life. If you are worried about yourself, it will show in all that you do. If you are thinking about others, and their well-being, then that will show too. Also, the words you speak to others and about others will define you. Speak as if your words had magic in them because they do. Finally, your actions will be a clear picture of the world of the way you think and how you feel about things that are happening all around in everyday life. Focus on defining your contribution to the world as a positive one. Your Actions define you.

“Stop worrying yourself with how others are treating you. Just be concerned with how you are treating others.”

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”- Wayne Dyer

“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people – your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.”- Barbara Bush

 

21

Responsible

Leave a comment

NEVER MAKE EXCUSES

Accept Responsibility for Life.

Each day, we can make these decisions to bring our lives into balance, enjoy the experience more, and connect us to life in general.

Today is a day of potential with a chance of increasing your enjoyment and energy by accepting things as they indeed are and taking responsibility for them.  Those two skills will allow you to experience a more happy and balanced life.  It is a simple concept but takes discipline to perform consistently. It begins by being conscious of your thoughts, the words you use to express them, and the actions you take because of the ideas you entertain. These are not complex concepts to fathom, nor are they trying to put into practice, but few choose to do them consistently because you have to be consistent in your practice.

Things Are What They Are

It can be difficult for people to accept unpleasant things as a part of their lives. This fact is true of experiencing some significant change on our part. Sometimes it is just easier to wish things were like they used to be, but they never are.  Change is happening all around you and inside you every day. The new comes and takes the place of the old, and that is a reality. To refuse to accept this is a cause of suffering.  Things are what they are. To think anything else is delusionary.

Accept the things in life. All the changes and growth that are going to come until the time that life ceases to exist continually.  Accept yourself and all others and the role they are playing in your life. Acknowledge that there is a divine presence in everyone, even if their actions are harmful and their behavior is unsatisfactory. Accept them and their journey as a part of yours. Life moves, injuries occur, rehabilitation is needed, you may find yourself down and in need of a comeback. All of these are possible once you accept how things are. You will have a solid base to go wherever you want. Accept things as they are because that is how they are.

Responsibility For All

My thoughts, words, and actions are all my responsibility, always.  This fact is a concept more people should focus on in their life. We all make a million decisions in a day. Most are rote actions we complete daily, and those decisions are made subconsciously and may or may not represent what you want to stand for. Focusing on all the ideas we bring into reality with our words and actions means you have to be conscious and aware. Choices of harsh words can harm people deeply below the surface where you can’t directly see the harm. It doesn’t matter what your intent is. It matters what the actual result is. If your words hurt someone, you are responsible for that, regardless of your original intention.

Many people choose to avert responsibility for whatever reason. It is a habit that allows the negative energy of a poor choice to stay with you for a long time.  Learn to accept responsibility for all things in your life, and when it needs to be “fixed,” then start fixing.  The acceptance will lead to a higher quality of life, bringing balance and happiness to your daily experience.  When you accept responsibility for all things, there is no fear of what others think. You are going to be productive and feel better about yourself. Your relationships with significant others, friends, family, and co-workers will also be better. When you make a mistake or hurt someone, take responsibility, and make amends.

Make Two choices Today.

It is up to you today to look honestly at your location and accept that it is a reality. You live where you live. You make the amount of money you make. You have the friends you have. If any of those things aren’t where you would like them to be, then you have the power to change them.  Be responsible for your choices every day and look for ways to learn from those who aren’t so good.  Use them to become better the next time you have options.  All of the things you choose are in your power.  Things may happen out of your control, but your decisions about dealing with them are all under your control. Nobody can make them for you.

As you move through this day, please take a moment and look at the thoughts you are entertaining about your life and how it is progressing today. Are you taking responsibility for where you are? Are you blaming others or circumstances? Are you just existing without much thought about it at all?  You have a conscious choice to see where you are and to accept responsibility for it. Once you do this, you can use your words and actions to make your life a more enjoyable experience. The level of enjoyment you experience is all up to you and the thoughts you choose to entertain in your conscious mind.

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”- Nathaniel Branden.

“Even the acceptance of personal responsibility may not overcome the temptation to believe that now is not the time to repent. ‘Now’ can seem so difficult, and ‘later’ appear so much easier. The truth is that today is always a better day to repent than any tomorrow. “-Henry B. Eyring.

“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.”- George Orwell.

 

 

21

Manipulate

Leave a comment

Messages come to you all the time, from the world.  Most of them reach us through the media, and most of these messages are manipulations that disguise themselves as news.  Do negative things happen? Of course, they do. Tragedies occur every day, and that is a terrible thing.  One message we never seem to get is………..this is a beautiful world, forget what the world has told you, there are many incredible things out there, great and small that exist in the world.  They defy the reality that conditioned what we see and believe.  The only way to find them is to start looking for them, and it won’t take a journey to a distant place to start seeing them. It takes a day of conscious awareness in your own life.

See the Good Things

Start your day by looking for and noticing all of the good things that exist in your life.  Too many people spend all of their time focusing on what they don’t have that they have no appreciation for the things they do have.  Start with the physical stuff. Can you hear beautiful music, taste delicious food, see all of the colors on display every day, touch something smooth or rough or go for a walk because you can?  If you can do all of these things, be grateful.

Then move on to the people in your life. If they care about you, then that is an incredible thing.  All of the people that contribute to your life in all ways are making your reality a better place. Even those who are not so great provide examples of how not to act in life. Be grateful for the lessons they offer you.  Do you have transportation, a job, a purpose in life?  If you have all of these things, then give thanks.

How you Treat Others

How we choose to treat others is an opportunity to make the world a better place and a better experience.  Nobody can dictate how you decide to speak to another or the actions you take toward another person.  Prejudice and judgment are endless thought choices we can follow.  Look at all situations and realize that even the worst criminal is a person underneath.  That doesn’t mean we ignore the negative people do. All people are responsible for their actions. Period.

But that doesn’t mean you hate them. Hate what someone did, but understand that we are pretty much the same with different programming from our experiences underneath it all.  I heard it stated all other people in the world are just another version of you, under different circumstances. It is difficult to condemn yourself. Your thoughts and actions decide what type of world you live in today.  And it can be positive or negative as you want to make it.  Some may treat you poorly, but that is their karma. How you react to it is your karma. Be a powerful positive force in the world.

Don’t Let Good Things Slip.

Look back at the past year. What decisions have you made that were, at least for now, okay? How about the ones you wish you didn’t make? There are probably some of both. Each situation that happens to you can be favorable. How? Because you don’t know where one action will take you in a day, a month, a year, or ten years. Something like losing a job is viewed as a negative. But what if it puts you on a path to find your true calling that never would have happened if you stayed where you were? At the moment it is happening, it is negative, later a blessing. Look at things as a blessing as they are happening.

This mindset can be tough to practice, and I have struggled mightily with it.  An unavoidable accident totals your car, and you have to go through the stress of figuring out what to do next. One thing leads to another, and eventually, the problem resolves if you accept where you are and take responsibility for it. The right actions present themselves. Count the good things. If you are not hurt, you have a chance to move forward with life. There is an opportunity to pursue your dreams. Where you are now is not where you will be in a year, five years, ten years, all things will change. Don’t let the good things slip by because of fear of the negative. Life is a constant balance between positive and negative.

The world provides an incredible experience for all of us to potentially enjoy. The frame of mind with which we face all the good and the bad things we face daily.  We have the opportunity to create the energy the world gets from us.  Positive or negative, it will come from our thoughts about our human experience.

“Positive energy knows no boundaries. If everyone were to spread positive energy on the Internet, the world would be a much better place.”- Lu Wei.

“Instead of hating, I have chosen to forgive and spend all of my positive energy on changing the world.”-Camryn Manheim.

“Virtually nothing is impossible in this world if you just put your mind to it and maintain a positive attitude.”- Lou Holtz.