Tag Archives: Understanding

22

Be A Proactive Person

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Proactive Choices Change Everything

Being a human being is a complicated and sometimes painful journey. A person is continuously challenged with new situations, asked to take in further information, and learns to deal with new people in their lives all the time. Still, we have one great choice to make in all of this, which allows us to be in control of ourselves, even when events occur which are out of our control. This power is the choice to be proactive. It means more than just taking the initiative in any situation; instead, you accept responsibility for wherever you are in life and whatever you are experiencing.

What is the Responsibility?

When you look at the word responsibility and break it up, you will see what it means: Response- Ability or your ability to respond. Each of us is continually responding to the situations we experience, and it is the manner we respond that dictates who we are. We are all responsible for our choices in this matter. If you are at the mercy of your emotions and react in anger, you own the results of that situation. If you practice avoidance and hide in drugs or alcohol consumption, you own the results of that action. This ownership comes whether you want it or not.

If you choose to be proactive, you accept responsibility for all aspects of your life and the circumstances you are experiencing. As recent events in the world have shown, some things occur outside of our control. Still, our reaction to it, the way we act toward others and choose to feel about ourselves, is that we are self-aware enough to recognize the tools we have at our disposal to be great. It is a conscious choice to live based on your values rather than on what events your life faces. As in all things, there is another choice,  to be reactive.

Being Reactive

When you choose to empower things around you, people, events, occurrences, conditions, or pandemics to affect and control you. If times are comfortable, a reactive person will be in a good mood. If they face difficulty or a challenge, that is all it takes to feel bad and act worse. I read a great thought that reactive people will be significantly affected by the weather, whereas proactive people carry their weather with them. It doesn’t make a difference if it is raining or the sun is shining, they are value-driven, and those values, kindness, charity, understanding, and caring are not put off by a little cloudy weather.

All people are affected by external stimuli, weather, forced social distancing, or pandemics, but the choice of response is different for each. If one thing is taken away, you can focus on that or start to find ways to enjoy your life anyway. Any external event can’t hurt our essential character unless we allow it. Economic hardships are challenging to navigate in life because they are fraught with worry. Being reactive is to feel sorry for yourself and blame everyone else. The bold choice is to do whatever you can do to survive and look for better ways to protect yourself in the future.

Take Initiative

This simple act of taking the initiative is a driving force in determining who is ultimately successful and who is not. People often do not recognize their responsibility to make things happen in their lives. Setting intentions to be something or do something is a great start, but nothing will happen without action.   We all have a reservoir of resourcefulness and initiative to pull from in our lives. As each of us examines our lives, we recognize situations where we have been resourceful to solve problems and make things happen, which were excellent.

Also, there have been moments in each person’s life where they had to take the initiative to get a better job, have a great relationship, take advantage of an opportunity, or any other positive thing a person has created. If you don’t think any of those things have ever happened to you, you are not looking closely enough. All human beings are capable of taking the initiative.

Final Thought

Be proactive today in how you react. If the national news media is bringing you down, take the initiative to shut it off and do something productive. Nothing can stop you from doing that but you. If you have free time to spend with your children, then finish it willingly and realize these circumstances will probably not happen again in the width of their childhood. How they look back on this situation in 10-20 years will be determined by the choices they make and the attitude they display.

It is a fact that difficult times will come to us all, and our response to that situation will define who we are to the world. You can’t speak of kindness and caring about your fellow man on one hand and then attempt to hoard a ten-year supply of toilet paper on the other. As I said, these decisions will define you.

“Do what today others won’t, so tomorrow, you can do what others can’t.” Brian Rogers Loop

 

“The only way to end a culture of violence is to proactively create a peace culture.”–Marianne Williamson

“Think proactively and dynamically. Be realistic, but set your sights high.” Lorii Myers

“We must take proactive steps to promote democracy and human rights abroad.”–Sam Brownback

 

“Learn from yesterday, live for today. Hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.”–Albert Einstein

 

22

We Stand The Same

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It is not unusual for someone to create a judgment of someone based on what you see on the outside. It is in our instinct to categorize people and organize them into easy-to-digest pieces where we can make assumptions about their background, financial situation, and motives. Is someone a threat? Are they someone it would be valuable to make an ally? These thoughts rush through your mind, and they are expensive in the short term to attempt to control your life. But life is not controllable, and judging people in this manner causes you to be short-sighted, closed-minded, and, most importantly, judgemental of others.

The problem of judgment is that we tend to accept our initial thoughts about someone as reality when, in fact, they are based only on our views with no factual basis whatsoever. This scenario creates a line of separation between us and others, which can be dangerous. In the least, it can be cruel to someone, and its worst forms can lead to dehumanizing other people, leading to hate, mistrust, prejudice, discrimination, and all sorts of negatives. A more comprehensive view is my challenge to you. Look at all people you meet from this moment forward on the inside. Because on the inside, you will see much more of what you have in common than what separates you. Look on the inside.

Alone Time

We all have a fundamental need to be a part of things and be understood for the person we are, the thoughts we think, and the feelings that result. Some people are more independent than others and enjoy more alone time. I like to have time to myself, but I also need time with other people. To some degree, we are all the same. Through our interactions with others, we find experiences of growth and development. I value the perspective of people who are different from me. Each time you meet a new person and have a conversation, you will grow slightly. And growth is the point of this existence.

Sometimes, it seems easier to put up walls and isolate yourself from others. They can be challenging, and understanding others can take some effort. Once you build walls to keep yourself safe from others, it is difficult for anyone to get in. So you are quite literally sitting by yourself, and that is where loneliness and isolation can influence you. Being lonely is dangerous because it skews your vision of the world and yourself. You feel something is lacking within yourself and your life, which is human interaction. Through this, we know we are not alone in this process, and we can take another perspective on things. Weigh that vision and make the parts of it that resonate with us. There is a feeling we all have inside of belonging and being accepted. It takes others for this to happen. We are all feeling lonely and separated in our lives sometimes. Be kind where you can and help someone else contact a little less alone. It takes very little to let someone know you see them and their humanity. Find a situation where you can do this today.

Our Thoughts

On the inside of every person, I see two rivers continuously running. One is of thought, and the other is our emotions. They are connected and continually flowing throughout our lives. Our mind is a tool that helps us navigate problems and create things, and that river of thought will help you. Even though many of the ideas flowing by us are repeated or unnecessary, the amount of attention we give them provides them with any power. Placing your focus on the wrong thing will affect how relevant it is in your life. As human beings, we all function the same way. Our thoughts are created in our minds and our experience and programming. It is up to us to be open-minded to seek new experiences and people to bring new ideas into our river of thought.

A mind is a great thing to have because appropriately used. It can help you master your life and existence and bring happiness and joy to the lives of others. Your mind can bring suffering and despair to you and all those you encounter during the day. The direction of your influence comes from conscious decisions we make about the thoughts we pay attention to in life. We all have the same choices here. Focus on the ideas of love or focus on the ideas of fear. This choice dictates everything we experience in personal relationships, friendships, and every aspect of life. Do you dare to reach out? Or do you pull back in fear of rejection or looking foolish? We are all the same inside, and there is a river of thought flowing through all people. Some have a deeper stream than others, and all we can do is test the waters and see if we can positively expand our minds or not.

Emotions

The other river is one of the emotions tied directly to our thoughts. They go hand in hand. The views we choose to focus on will dictate the feelings we experience. It seems to be a cause-and-effect relationship we have been experiencing since birth and will until we leave this life. The difference is that you can become more conscious about this relationship and change the thoughts we choose to focus on and their corresponding emotions.

It is essential to know this because you are not unique in your emotional functions. All people are working on the inside in the same way. The differences come from our programming and experiences. One experience can change our lives for the better or present an emotional challenge. How we choose to deal with them will dictate our happiness at the moment and our effectiveness in life.

It is essential to realize how understanding our emotions and thoughts can lead to a more productive life. We have made connections through our experiences and joy, sadness, anger, frustration, longing, love, or any other emotion. Our thoughts can take a situation that is just a little bit similar to something from our past and interject positivity or despair into it based on programming. Understanding this emotional connection, we can evaluate what we are feeling and why. Are you angry at what just happened, or is it connected to something from your past? The difference is immense. Why get all upset and angry over something which occurred 20 years ago? That event is long gone and can’t be changed. It is up to you if you let the experience control your life today. When you look at someone else and their emotions, understand they are just like you on the inside and have some compassion and empathy.

Compassion and Empathy

Since we are all the same on the inside, we all have thoughts and emotions running nonstop for all of our lives. Take a little time, and work it into your life. Look at other people through the lens of connectivity rather than the view of separation. Allowing yourself to step inside of the shoes of another and see their thoughts and feel their emotions can give you an insight into life. The value of this is to adopt a philosophy of compassion for the struggles and difficulties faced by other people and make your little corner of the world a little bit brighter. Show some kindness even when you don’t have to. Compassion is the international language of caring, and it is never a lousy time for it. Judge others less and accept their differences more because, on the inside, they are just like you. A human being deals with their two continuous rivers of thought and emotion.

Empathy is the ability to understand the situation another is experiencing, and I think to be accepting of their circumstances. All people are capable of great kindness and caring but can also be just as mean and uncaring. We can make the conscious choice of being empathetic or judgmental, and that decision will dictate our effect on the world and what kind of person we will be. Consciously practicing empathy allows you to put a small positive influence on the planet and those you encounter each time. There is no telling where this little positive flow you create will affect the world.

Each of us is in this experience of life and looking for meaning. Sometimes it is easy and others more complex. There are nonstop moments, and each has value. What precisely that value is will be determined by our ability to look at others and see that everyone is the same basic stuff inside. Experiences and programming have led to how a person thinks and feels about things. In all things, we have much more in common than the differences we could ever carry. Take time today to look at all people with empathy and compassion. Practice kindness and understanding, and see how your rivers of thought and emotion are affected.

“Whatever is my right as a man is also the right of another.” – Thomas Paine

“I believe in equality for everyone.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“When I look at a person, I see a person – not a rank, not a class, not a title.” – Criss Jami

“Don’t let your luggage define your travels, and each life unravels differently.” – Shane Koyczan

“You can’t make a difference unless you are different.” – Chris Hodges

 

 

 

22

Truth Seeker

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truth pinoccio
All people create their truths.

Truth should be a universally known entity. But it becomes increasingly evident every day each person carries their thoughts about what is true and what is not for themselves in their own life. Each person sees the world through their lens of life, which will, in most cases, support their individualized ideal of what constitutes reality for them. Anything outside that realm is rejected with judgments, delusions, or denials. My challenge for you today is to look at the happenings in your life and decide if they are correct for everyone or just for you?

Perception

Our truth leads to how we look at things, which is our perception of life. The most basic of facts comes from our basic view of the world. Is it the right place, or is it the wrong place? This fundamental thought colors all of our experiences and determines our essential positivity or negativity in life. One person wakes up and ventures out into the world, expecting a hostile,  very dark, and dangerous place, and if you don’t look out for yourself, nobody else is surely going to.

Some see the world as a beautiful place.

Another person living in the same town, maybe just one house down the street, wakes up and faces the world with a vision of kindness and acceptance. One thinks we are all in this together.

Some see the world as a cold wasteland full of dangerous white walkers.

They see the good in other people and know they are not in this altogether. They expect good things to happen, and they most often do.

These two perceptions are the basic was we all look at the world, and only you know for sure which of these paths you choose to walk.

Truth and Perception

Each moment in life will bring you a set of experiences. People leave, come. Accidents happen, great fortune occurs, success, failure, and every conceivable combination of life events. If something we believe and accept as accurate, then we deal with it, no matter if it is positive or negative. For example, a person suddenly loses the job they have been at for 14 years. A person will not be able to move on positively until they accept the loss as a part of their reality. As long as the truth of the situation is muddled through blame, anger, frustration, disbelief, or denial, you can’t move on. The same is the case for the end of a relationship. Until you accept the reality of the situation, you will never be able to move on.

Acceptance of reality should not be as hard as it is. Our mind’s job is to protect us and get us through this thing called life. It will tell you something which is not accurate to fulfill its prime directive of protection. You can’t trust what your mind tells you. It will lie and exaggerate, make excuses, and throw all kinds of judgments onto others. Being conscious of your thoughts and comparing them to what is happening in your life will show the level of truth existing in your experience.

Responsibility

This perception of truth leads to accepting who you are and the happenings of your life or putting a lot of effort into resisting things. Resistance comes in the forms of denials, postponements, and blame on everyone and everything else in the world. Whatever is happening which you don’t like is not your fault, and you have no responsibility for it. That is the attitude of failure and unhappiness in life.

The flip side of this is to take responsibility for everything in your life. Accept it and embrace it and understand even things occurring that are far removed from your direct control, you can take responsibility for and bring that into your truth of life. Taking responsibility for items puts you in the driver’s seat and controls your life and destiny. When something happens, embrace it even if it hurts because it is happening anyway, and spending time and effort resisting it, is a significant waste of time.

Final Truth

Events are what they are, and to employ any denials for that fact will detract from the quality of life a person will experience. Your truth will be colored by the perception you create about things and how any anticipated event will affect your life right now. Putting negative thoughts or resistance in a situation makes a negative experience in your life. You control how much of this type of negativity you allow in your life. You are proactive with your use of responsibility.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” ~Mark Twain

 “If a thousand old beliefs were ruined in our march to truth, we must still march on.” ~Stopford Brooke

“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” ~Mark Twain

“There is no truth. There is only perception.” ~Gustave Flaubert 

This song is about the truth of the 1980s, James Brown, Rocky, Living in America my brothers and sisters, Happy 4th of July.

22

Skipping Stones

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Each rock makes a unique ripple in the water, as you do in the world.
Each rock makes a unique ripple in the water, as you do in the world.

Moving around through a day, most people never stop and consider their mere presence’s influence on the things and people around them. Your mood and the way interact with whom you encounter on your daily journey will affect all in your path, but more significantly, it will influence those you interact with even more. Each day our thoughts, words, and actions are like a stone thrown into a calm pond with ripples flowing out in all directions. Imagine the energy you are sending to the world out of yourself each day. Where your attention goes, your electricity will flow. Which way does your attitude turn the lives of others? 

Throwing Rocks

When I was young, I would often throw stones into the lake we lived on for no reason at all. My brother and I would see who could throw the farthest or make the biggest splash or the most skips. As you watched

The ripple formed tells the story of the rock, as your ripples tell the story of you.
The ripple formed tells the story of the rock, as your waves say to the level of you.

All of the rocks hit the surface of the water and disappear to their murky destination, each left behind an expanding ring of ripples that carried with them the details of the size of the rock, its impact on the world, and the force with which it was discharged. Its energetic pattern remained for a brief and fleeting moment.

When I watched the ripples intersect and merge, I noticed a lot of different patterns. Some would join together and branch out and start a whole new wave. Others would override smaller ripples and completely dominate those smaller waves around them. Some would simply shine in the dwindling.

When ripples meet they combine to make unique experiences.
When ripples meet, they combine to make unique experiences.

Twilight radiates a signal all their own until they gently and almost imperceptibly disappear completely, either outside of my sight or splashing softly on the rocks of the shore at our feet.

Choose Your Energy

Today I can see that people and their attitudes are precisely like those rocks from long ago. Only the waves of energy they create can’t be seen. You can only feel them. Notice the next time you meet anyone the feeling or vibe you feel from someone. This vibration is unique to each person, and just like the stones from long ago, exudes information about that person.

That vibrational ripple is determined by each person’s thoughts and beliefs to pay attention to each day. The choices are between love, kindness, understanding, acceptance, gratitude, fear, hate, being mean, judgemental, angry, and ungrateful. These ripples will affect everyone you meet and everything you are involved in. Just as the waves on the water interact and change each other.

The key is that each of us has the choice each day, not each moment, to remake these choices and change the vibration that our energetic ripples exude. The challenge is to look at your thoughts and beliefs and decide how you want your energy to be perceived by others, and it is a simple matter of choice and noticing.

“The energy of the mind is the essence of life.” Aristotle

“It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“Be a positive energy trampoline – absorb what you need and rebound more back. ” Dave Carolan

“Life gets easier if you choose only to think, act, and speak positive energy. Choose to be the light in somebody else’s darkness.” 

“I believe that positive energy and optimism help us to take up any challenge in life and to succeed in even the most difficult tasks. I also believe that positive energy is contagious: we can transmit it to others.”- Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum

 

22

Lose Your Attitude

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Attitude-a way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically is in a person’s behavior.

attitudeAttitude is everything because it is a result of the way we think and feel about everything in our existence, and shows the world just what we believe about ourselves. If you are not conscious of your attitude and why you think or feel a certain way about something, then you are at the mercy of that thought pattern. Many of our destructive issues resulting from low self-esteem stem from our attitude about ourselves and perceptions of the value we bring to. Today perceptions make a pact with yourself to be conscious of your position and the resulting experience that comes into your life because of it. Look at your thoughts, words, and actions and see how they reflect your attitude toward life, other people, and, most importantly, yourself.

Attitude Toward Life

Most people look at themselves as adults like they are set in stone. It is as if their attitudes about the world were poured into concrete when they were very young, and they never seek to revise them or improve them in any way. It is our attitude toward life that determines life’s attitude toward us. You attitudewill get precisely what you believe you will get from experience—your att, and yours the catalyst for life’s behavior toward you.

What do you believe about life? Is it fair? Is it cruel? Is it difficult? Whatever your attitude is toward life is what you will get from experience. Take a moment and become conscious of what those beliefs are.   If you radiate confidence and self-assurance, then the world will react accordingly. The same will be true if you lack confidence and are insecure. Life is an equal opportunity provider of challenges. Your attitude will determine the ease or difficulty with which you will face challenges. Create awareness in yourself of your feelings toward life. Expect more good than bad, and that is what you will experience.

Attitude Toward Others

It is essential to develop a positive attitude toward other people attitudebecause success rarely comes to one person by themselves. We are all interdependent in living our lives every day, and there is someone you rely on and someone that depends on you. It is our attitude toward others that determines their attitude toward us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your attitude should be to treat every person that you meet as if they are the most critical person in the world. Developing this mindset is a much more difficult task then it sounds. We are filled with bias, discrimination, judgment, and selfishness that limit our interactions with others. Being conscious of this will eliminate it as you treat others to treat you. Change your life by putting your interest in the stories of others ahead of your own. What can you learn from them? How can you help them? This attitude will increase your enjoyment of life and opportunities for success. Life isn’t all about you, understanding that is the beginning of really living.

Attitude toward Self

All people look at themselves as the hero of their own story. Their attitude and will determine if it is a success story or not. Your opinion about yourself develops continually over your life, and you can change that perception at any moment for the better or, the worse. It changes because of your actions and your attitude about these actions. Before a person can achieve attitudethe kind of life they dream about, they must become that kind of individual. If you want to be successful, then do the things successful people do. Set goals, take action, and be persistent in those actions until your goals are achieved. If you think you want to be something but set no goals and take no steps toward it, then you do not want that. This is your attitude.

Too often in life, we shortchange ourselves because we fear failure or what others are going to think of our efforts. These fears manifest in our minds and tell us: “You can’t!” “You mustn’t,” “People will think I am crazy.”, or any other negative message you can think of. A positive attitude toward yourself will erase those things. The human mind is only capable of entertaining one thought at a time. There is no benefit in negativity and many benefits to being positive. Why not consider positive thoughts and create an attitude of success for ourselves? Attitude is everything when it comes to success or failure.

So the challenge is to be conscious of your attitude today and be honest with yourself about what you find. If you lack in confidence and self-assurance, then start to change this. Set goals, write them down, take action toward them, and be persistent in following through until the goal is achieved. Your attitude will determine your experience in life with others and yourself. It all starts with knowing your thoughts, words, and actions today. Act as if success is already yours.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” ~ Maya Angelou

“Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.” ~ Og Mandino

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” —Ayn Rand

“Do what you have to do until you can do what you want.” —Oprah Winfrey

“Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.” —Henry Rollins

 

 

22

Spiritual But Not Religious

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People define themselves in many different ways, spiritual but not religious is a way I have thought of my relationship with God for about half my life. Nobody has ever asked me what the definition of this statement means to me until today, and it was astonishing to me I had never really written it down. I am stating my views in this way to define spirituality and why it has little to do with religion for me. The tableau of results depicts my path, and like most trials in life, I am on it due to my choices.

Being Conscious of Choices

The first thing I will explain about myself is that I have become more conscious of my choices in life over the years and the subsequent repercussions each decision will bring to your life. We are all programmed from the time we are born to the actions and beliefs which will help us become accepted in our culture and to belong. If you are not aware of your choices, then this programming will make the choices for you.

I was raised by my parents and family religiously, and I went to church every Sunday for my entire childhood. I believed what people told me wholly and blindly. As I grew in life, I noticed inconsistencies between what they told me and the life I experienced. When I started to question these things, the answers I found moved me away from my upbringing. But not away from God. We are all gifted with the ability to ask and choose for ourselves, and I think that is a skill that makes us uniquely human.

Nobody Excluded

One of the teachings I found most incorrect was that if someone didn’t believe as you did, they were wrong and probably going to be denied a trip to heaven in the afterlife and sent to an eternity of punishment in hell. As a child with a pure heart, I never understood how a God, who is love, would ever make anything like that happen. The conclusion I came to was that they wouldn’t.

I have found there is the ability to be a great person and the ability to be the opposite of that inside each of us. You have to fight to be the best person you can be because it is far too easy to drift into the negative. Since we all have goodness inside them, all people deserve redemption. I think a person’s actions demonstrate how they are living life right now. Most people are doing the best they can at this moment, and they deserve our encouragement, not our condemnation.

I Am Responsible

So to be spiritual means to me that I am responsible for my choices and the reactions I have in life. If I fight to continually act in kindness, understanding, empathy, sympathy, joy, and love in dealing with all people, then I feel I am on the right path in life, doing what I can to make things better.

On the other hand, should I choose not to live that way and give in to the easy decisions of being hateful of others who think differently from me, judging others, indifferent to the difficulties of others, acting from a place of fear, then the harm I cause is my responsibility in life. I have found that which choice I make leads directly to my experiences in life.

In Conclusion

To sum it up, I believe being spiritual is my relationship with God and what that means. Seeing that all people are connected, even those we may not like. Through our common humanity, we are here in this life together. To judge someone negatively because of their religion, nationality, ethnic heritage, skin color, or other factors is not Godly.

On the sunny side of Sunday, I have met many people who preach love, but in the shade of the rest of the week speak hate about those who are different from them. To be exclusionary, judgmental, and hateful are not positive traits of any Godly organization or people I want to be associated with within my life.

We all can choose which road we take. Acceptance or judgment? Kindness or meanness? Giving or taking? Love or fear? You will decide for yourself as I have and continue doing for yourself. That is what defines spirituality to me.

“Spirituality is not running away from the battlefield of life. Spirituality is blossoming every dimension of life with love, responsibility, equanimity, creativity and compassion.” – Amit Ray

 

 

22

Your Choices

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Don't Regret the Past
A Ship Carrying A Choice You Made

I was discussing with a friend the other day about all of the things we had done that, in retrospect, seemed like bad ideas.

Failed relationships, poor decisions, wrong turns on the path of life all came up, and my friend said the magic phrase, “If I knew then what I know now, things would be different. If I could only do it all over again.”   That thought is probably one that everyone has had at some point in their lives. I, myself, have thought this before, but not any longer.

If allowed to go back in time and make different choices, I would have to pass, and here is why.

First of all, it is common to look back with a sense of nostalgia and not with realism. Choices were made for a reason. You have no way of knowing how a change in your life would affect you today.

Things could have turned out much worse for you. A Teacher best explained it to me this way. If you picture all of those choices you didn’t make as ships sailing in the distance, you can see the sails full of wind pushing them off into the horizon.

You are wasting your time chasing them with regret because you will never catch them, and you don’t know what is beyond the horizon. Those ships may have carried you to some very unsavory and unwanted results.

Things could have been much worse for you if you had made a different choice. We only focus on a lofty, positive result when we think of doing things differently. When the outcome could have been disastrous.   Since you could be far better off with the choice you did make, thoughts like this appear to be a waste of effort.

Secondly, constantly questioning your past decisions will make it much more difficult to enjoy what you do have today.

You may have a good job or a relationship you value, and you won’t be giving them your full attention and enjoying them as much as you could if you waste your energy pining away about the past and what might have been.

Every one of life’s choices is a potential learning experience, and usually, the decision of whether it was a good or a wrong choice is made solely by you. You can choose to get something good out of almost every situation you encounter, or you can choose to get something wrong. It is all up to you.

So why not enjoy what you have today and appreciate the experiences that have gotten you here, rather than spend your days rehashing old mistakes and carrying around the regret of what might have been.

Third, one of the great things about getting older is that we do, even if we don’t try, gain experience and a form of wisdom with it.

From the day we are born, we are continually learning new things to navigate the sometimes tricky channels of life. Some people take much more advantage of these learning experiences than others. Without all of the “mistakes” we have made along the path of life, we would lose much of the hard-earned wisdom and knowledge we have gathered over the years.

Everybody has the ability for good and to live a life that satisfies them and makes the world a better place. Regretting your past decisions is a form of self-loathing that decreases your self-esteem and makes living an authentic life more difficult.

If you dislike your choices so much, you must dislike who you have become, and it is hard to be happy when you are forced to face a person in the mirror every day that you are not very fond of sometimes.

 

Don't Regret the Past
You Choose to be Whatever you want.

Finally, we all have the ultimate choice for what type of person we are to be. Regardless of all of the options we have made. What you did yesterday, ten years ago or twenty years ago, has very little to do with who we choose to be today.

Nothing can stop you from being positive except yourself. Nothing can stop you from being productive except yourself. Nothing can stop you from being great except yourself.

The past is stored in the high attic of your mind. It is OK to remember and visit and pour over past experiences to glean wisdom, but to carry around a profound sense of regret about things will get you nowhere.

Today is the next great day of your life, and you can choose to make it so or decide to turn it into another moment you will regret in the future as you watch it sail into the horizon.

Quotes About Regrets:

“A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.”  – John Barrymore

“Accept everything about yourself – I mean everything, You are you, and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.”-Henry A. Kissinger.

“Apologies are pointless, and regrets come too late. What matters is you can move, on you can grow.”
Kelsey Grammer

“Chris Cooper once told me never to have any regrets. After Chris said that to me, I walked into every scene thinking, ‘exhaust every possibility.’ Once you get to a certain place, it’s like you just deliver everything you’ve got. I don’t have any regrets. It pops up in my mind over and over and over again.”
Jake Gyllenhaal

“For my own part, I abandon the ethics of duty to the Hegelian critique with no regrets; it would appear to me, indeed, to have been correctly characterized by Hegel as an abstract thought, as a thought of understanding.”
Paul Ricoeur

“Had we not pursued the hydrogen bomb, there is a very real threat that we would now all be speaking Russian. I have no regrets.”
Edward Teller

“Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.”
Louisa May Alcott

“Having regrets and things, it just takes your time away.”
Leif Garrett

“He had to deal all at once with the packed regrets and stifled memories of an inarticulate lifetime.”
Edith Wharton

“I already gave my best. I have no regrets at all.”
William Hung

“I do not allow myself vain regrets or foreboding.”
Mary Chesnut

“I don’t have a lot of regrets in my life.”
Cathy Freeman

“I don’t have any regrets. When I quit college and moved to Los Angeles to become an actress, it was so that I would not look back and have any regrets.”
Amy Weber

“I don’t really believe in regrets.”
Wayne Newton

“I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about regrets because there’s nothing I can do.”
Sheryl Crow

“I felt that I ostracized myself by my behavior, by the past, by living with all the regrets of my mistakes, that I sort of wore a hair shirt and beat myself up most of the day thinking and regretting why did I make such a mistake? Why have I made so many mistakes?”
Sarah Ferguson

“I gave everything in my career, so I have no regrets at all.”
Michel Patini

“I have a lot of regrets, but I’m not going to think of them as regrets.”
Debbie Harry

“I have many regrets, and I’m sure everyone does. The stupid things you do, you regret… if you have any sense, and if you don’t regret them, maybe you’re stupid.”
Katharine Hepburn

“I have no regrets about launching Salon. For the life of me, I can’t imagine doing anything else.”
David Talbot

“I have no regrets about my life.”
Jane Badler

“I have no regrets because I did everything by the book.”
Alexis Arguello

“I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person.”
Rita Mero

“I have no regrets. I don’t believe in looking back. What I am proudest of? Working really hard… and achieving as much as I could.”
Elena Kagan

“I have no regrets. I wouldn’t have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say.”
Ingrid Bergman

“I have no regrets. I’ve got my health.”
Naomi Campbell

“I have to say that I have no regrets about my decision to become a priest or about the major directions my ministry has taken me… I have been and am happy as a priest, and I have never been lonely… I could have used a bit more solitude.”
Andrew Greeley

“I try to live my life where I end up at a point where I have no regrets. So I try to choose the road that I have the most passion for because then you can never really blame yourself for making the wrong choices. You can always say you’re following your passion.”
Darren Aronofsky

I usually say I did the best I could with what I had. I have no major regrets.
Stokely Carmichael

“I want to live my life so that my nights are not full of regrets.”
David Herbert Lawrence

 

“I’m not gonna try to defend, or undo what’s been done. All I could say about whatever’s been done, it’s been done, and it’s water under the bridge. I have no regrets of my life.”==Ike Turner

“I’m very lucky, I’m happy with life because my experiences led me to do what I had to do. I don’t have any regrets whatsoever.”
Van Morrison

 

22

Your Power to Affect the World

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Power- the ability to do something or act in a particular way, especially as a faculty or quality.

Each of us has the power to affect the world. We may not be conscious of it, but it exists. It allows you to overcome the feelings of being powerless. Listening to the media message sent to you every day will make you feel vulnerable and helpless. Reported stories and events make the world seem big, scary, and out of the realm of your safe little world. That is a perspective advantageous to industry and sales. If you feel powerless, you look for comfort, buy things you don’t need, and try to protect yourself by doing what the messages tell you to do. In short, it is easy to manipulate a person who feels powerless and weak. Worry comes directly from this belief. But you have power and can affect how you look at and act with life.

Seeing Your Power

Your power does not come from the things you own, but it arrives from who you are. It is the choices that you make every day which define you. Decisions made every day without a conscious thought determine much of your life. Look at your options and only choose those you want to represent you. These are the choices you know are for the greater good. Trust, a larger purpose, can be served by your straightforward, positive options every day. Then take responsibility for your decisions and your ability to make a positive difference in your life and the world.

Your power will influence others, even if you don’t see it. That influence will be positive or negative, depending on the tenor of your thoughts throughout your day. Do you know the danger in every conversation? Do you see a potential enemy in others? Or do you see the opportunity for kindness and creating an ally? Which way your thought pattern falls dictates your power. Are you making it positively or negatively? Power is yours every moment of every day.

Powerful Vision

Once you have actively embraced your ability and responsibility to make a positive difference in the world, then it is up to you to direct your power in a particular direction. Into your relationships, career, personal development, or any other thing you choose to improve. It begins with establishing a vision of what you would like to see in your life. Use your imagination to create the scenario you would like to see become a part of your life. Then be true to that personal vision. If you want to change your physical appearance, develop a health plan of exercise and diet that resonates with you and brings it to reality. Be consistent and live it as you move through every day; it will come to pass.

Each area you want to improve will change your life in schedule and activity. Rather than fight change, learn to embrace it. It is difficult for all people. Actively embrace the positive changes you make in your life. Focus on the personal honesty you use with people. Don’t worry about the result of your goodness. Be honest and accept the consequences. Have a vision pursue that vision honestly, and eliminate the worry from your life. The power to dictate positive change will result from that.

Challenge Your Inaccurate Beliefs

Lies and inaccuracies take away our power as well. We develop beliefs over our lives. They come from our family, peers, teachers, society, and authority figures. We try to place these things into concrete in our minds, and they provide us with rules to follow in life. But a myth can take your power if you attach it to a limiting or untrue belief. The perception we have of things dictates our patterns of thought and behavior. This can refocus any mind at any point to see things more positively. Hate, judgment and fear turn into kindness, acceptance, and love with a change of focused thought.

To do this, look at the negative beliefs you are carrying about other people, places, things. Stereotypes and fear of others you learn through your programming through history, family, or the media. Change those thoughts to the positive. Don’t allow people to mistreat you. It is the opposite. You have power. Never accept behavior that is below your standards. You recognize poor behavior for what it is. If you don’t want contrary in your life, remove it. If someone treats you poorly, it is your choice to tolerate it or not. That is power. That is your power. Believing that it is ok for someone to treat you poorly or deserve it is what we want to eliminate because it is a weak mentality. Be authoritative in your choices, and of course, you will have power.

Find Your Power

Take a moment and consciously consider where you put your power every day. How much worry do you participate in? Fear takes away your control; being a positive and confident person gives it to you. The way you think about your experiences will dictate the words you use and then your actions because of it. If you live in fear of this or that, later you will play a small game, make a few changes and meekly accept bad things as your fault. I encourage you to live with power. Take responsibility for where you are and what you have done. More importantly, look where you want to go and start taking action to get you there.

“In an expanded state of awareness, you perceive beyond the limitations of your body and mind and feel that you are part of the vast universe around you, connected to All That Is.”

“A good indignation brings out all one’s powers.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

22

Forget the Judgement

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What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

For much of my life, I spent a lot of time worrying about what others thought about what I did to the point that I often would not do things I wanted because I was afraid of what others might think. That fear stopped me from doing silly, inconsequential, and big things alike. I would see a picture of people judging me and thinking poorly of me in my head.

When the thoughts in my head worried about the ideas in others, the results were a constant fear of showing my true self. There was a chance that someone might not like what I would be doing.

The problem with this thought pattern is that you are never actually able just to be you. People put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect, which is impossible to achieve. I have put most of this thought pattern behind me, which I now notice.

Doing What I Want

judgment defines you not others
Look inward before You Judge Someone and their behavior.

There is an impression that this question builds in your mind that if you were released from the disturbing thoughts of society, you would suddenly do things that were totally out of character. But I think that doing all of the things that are part of my personality without worrying about what anyone else thinks is the fun of life.

I am a thinker, and I enjoy reading and thinking and then writing my thoughts about what I learn and contemplate. I want the cafe’ and getting to know people. I like working out every day and not apologizing for the length of my workouts. All of these things I do and do not do any of them for the sake of what someone else might think would make my life unhappy. You have to be your best, and I like that person.

Truth about Freedom

The truth about freedom is I like the freedom to be myself and say, I don’t care about the judgments of others, but that has just meant that I can do the things I like to do without worry. These things haven’t changed much at all, but the perception I have of these activities and how others perceive them has. If someone has a problem with the way I live and my choices have a problem with themselves.

So I will read and learn about life and delve into why people are the way they are. If you read this site, you will see I share my thoughts freely and encourage a conscious positive vibe in everyone.    I will share my feelings if you ask. I don’t care if you agree because a challenge is an opportunity to teach and learn. All thoughts should be challenged so that they stand up as truths. If they don’t, you will move a step closer to finding the truth. So I haven’t started dressing differently or acting a whole lot differently, I don’t care what anyone else thinks about how I dress or how I work, and it feels fantastic.

now be yourself
Who else could you possibly be?

There are things I do now that I might not have had the courage to do before, and each one I recognize as a step forward, although I think for many people, they would be pretty small steps indeed.

Normal?

One of the most significant things that have arisen from this change of thought is that I judge others much less. I try not to judge at all. I have learned to appreciate the differences that each individual brings to the world, and the vibrant contrast allows for a broad spectrum of color in life. It is a much more exciting canvas that I see painted in front of me. I wouldn’t say I like the things everybody does, but I try to accept them as their choices, not mine. I’ll worry about my thoughts, words, and actions and let others worry about theirs.

This wide variety can be scary to some, but we should embrace it. Just as you accept each person for their unique ability, so will you be recognized as special and beautiful. I think there is a misconception that a “normal” state exists when the real normal is that you should be who you are and that, my friend, is good enough.

Some Quotes on Not Caring what others think

“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.” ― Virginia Woolf “

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.” ― Mae West

“You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing.” ― Richard P. Feynman

“Care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner.”—Lao Tzu

“Never dull your shine for somebody else.” ― Tyra Banks

“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.” ― John Lennon

“I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.” ― Michel de Montaigne

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”— Dr. Seuss

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. “― Suzy Kassem

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”— Oscar Wilde

22

Seek Your Peace

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Seeking Peace

There are so many ways to improve your outlook on life that it is

impossible for me to list them all here for you, but in general, there are a few simple tips I can give you that have made my enjoyment of life increase exponentially.

These are not extremely difficult things to do; solving advanced math problems or rocket science is complicated; finding peace should be simple.

It requires you to honestly look at yourself and the situations that affect how you feel and choose to let events enhance your life, not harm it.

These are three simple practices I have implemented in my own life that have made a living a much more enjoyable experience, and I think you might too. I almost guarantee it. It is all up to you.   The steps are acceptance, forgiveness, and peace, and you are on your way to happiness if you want to be.

1. Acceptance is Not Approval

The first thing you have to be able to experience is the acceptance of all that has happened. is was difficult Acceptancefor me because I always believed that by saying I accept a situation, I simultaneously admit the status will never change, and acceptance is not that.

Acceptance does not mean approval, consent, permission, authorization, sanction, concurrence, agreement, compliance, sympathy, endorsement, confirmation, support, ratification, assistance, or even liking whatever it is you are accepting it is merely saying, “it is what it is, and what is, is what is.

Popeye believed the same thing, “I am what I am.” and so does Patriot Coach Bill Belichick when he analyzes a game, “It is what it is.” Until you choose to accept things as they are, realizing and identifying the situation accurately, you will never be able to develop a plan to overcome an obstacle and learn what you need to learn and grow from the experience.   Acceptance is the first step and the most important because you will never get to the ultimate destination if you never start a journey.

2. Forgiveness Will Set You Free

Step two in this search for self-discovery is forgiveness. F giving someone for doing something that hurt you or someone you care about can be very difficult to do because we all internalize things that happen to us and take them personally,

forgiveness
Forgive and Free Yourself

but to quote an ancient Chinese Proverb, “Anger is a hot rock that burns the one who holds it.”

To me, this means that the heat of anger,  disappointment, jealousy, whatever negative emotion you associate with somebody else’s actions, you have to forgive and let go to move on with your life.

I also have learned that you don’t have to make your forgiveness known to anyone other than yourself. You don’t have to have a ceremony, a rite of passage, or even talk to anybody. All you have to do is forgive whoever you have to in your heart, and you will find you are on your way to finding peace.

If you don’t believe me, try it.   Just think about a person you feel has hurt you, then accept whatever the situation is. Then forgive them for whatever they did, or you perceived them to do, truthfully and wholeheartedly. If you are sincere, you will start to feel relief almost immediately.

You can let all of the foolishness of life and the anger that you are carrying around because of the actions of others and experience growth, allowing becoming a better version of yourself. You can even forgive yourself, which is probably one of the first places you should start.

Whatever shortcomings you have had, mistakes you have made, dreams you left disappointed, goals you haven’t reached yet, whatever angers you about yourself, forgive yourself for being human, and accept what has happened.

You will find the road that leads you where you want to go will appear to you almost magically. Forgiveness is simple, but it is never easy because we tend to hang on to things and internalize them, and they become a part of who we are.

Then when you forgive them and let them go, you fight against it because these situations have become a part of our identity, and they have become who we are, rather than something that happened to us or something we did. Forgiving everyone is what I advocate, and moving on to a better place.

3. Peace  will Find You

Thirdly, you will find the third almost without any work if you follow these two things. It will come naturally to you, like an inevitable turn in the river you are riding on, and you will encounter peace.

With peace will come freedom from the thoughts you have been carrying around with you. It is simple as thinking: I accept that experience, forgive that experience, and am free. This is where positive thinking will start to emerge in your life.

It was explained to me that just thinking positive thoughts to exclude negative ideas is challenging because you have been having those negative thoughts all your life, whatever they are.

My parents didn’t pay enough attention to me. I am weak. I am always treated poorly in relationships. I am miserable because that’s all I deserve when you accept your thoughts as what they are and forgive them; these negative thoughts are not ignored but instead transformed into ideas of a positive nature. I have found that I am happy most of the time when this happens. Peace is just another word for experiencing inner happiness about who you are, where you have been, and going.

So give this process a try, accept a situation that has hurt you and all the people involved. Forgive t m. All people do crappy things because they are people, and it’s not personal, they are just trying to live their life, and you will find a feeling of peace and understanding. Accept yourself and others for who they are and move.

Quotes About Inner Peace:

“The self is not the individual body or mind, but rather that aspect deep inside each person that knows the truth.” – Swami Vishnu Devananda

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” – His Holiness the Dalai Lama

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let out a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let  o completely, you will have complete peace.” – Ajahn Chan XX century Buddhist Monk

“Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment” – Lao Tzu.

“When there is light in the soul, there is beauty in the person.
There is harmony in the person when there is beauty in the house.
When there is harmony in the house, there is order in the nation.
When there is order in the nation, there is peace in the world.”-  Chinese Proverb.

“If you lose touch with nature you lose touch with humanity. If there’s no relationship with nature, then you become a killer; then you kill baby seals, whales, dolphins, and man either for gain, for “sport,” for food, or knowledge. Then, nature  is frightened of you, withdrawing its beauty.”-  Jiddu Krishnamurti

“To achieve the strength we need in living, an inner life must be lived apart from the world.
To wear the whole world as a loose garment is a key to serenity.
Loosen your hold on earth, its cares, and its worries.
Unclasp your hold on other people and material things.
Let go of resentments, they hurt only you, not the person, persons, or institutions you resent.
Relax your grip, and the tide of peace will flow in.
Live in today, not in regrets over what happened yesterday, not in the fear and apprehension of what tomorrow may bring.
The past is gone as a cloud of dust.
Tomorrow may never come.
We are faced with living just one day…today.
Try to relax, rejoice, and be glad in it!” – (Unknown Author) 

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.   – Marcus Aurelius (Roman Emperor)

“Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach me” – Rene Descartes.

“A man who is master of himself can mend a sorrow as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to be them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” – Oscar Wild

“Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein

“Nothing is either good, middle, or bad, but thinking makes it so” – William Shakespeare.

“Dwell as near as possible to the channel in which your life flows.” – Henry David Thoreau.