Tag Archives: Understanding

21

Trickster

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I once believed I was an intelligent individual. Life had given me many perceived answers as to how to live, the best patterns of thought to follow, and a philosophy of thinking to guide me. Yet, life is a miserable trickster sometimes, and I had forgotten this important fact. It gives you enough knowledge to build up a false sense of security in your actions and then pulls the foundation in your mind away, letting you fall hard on the unforgiving concrete of learning. Congratulations! You have just moved to a new level of understanding. If you survive the harrowing experience and manage to find a reason to continue with the game of life, then you have won. I once thought I was a relatively wise man, but much of what I believed to be the truth has been proven empty in the pale open light of reality.

I Am Nothing

Wisdom knows that I am nothing. This line is the beginning of a quote I love, and it always reminds me to put my thoughts, actions, and experiences into a proper perspective. No matter what I do in my life, it is all relatively insignificant to the world in the big scheme of things. Nobody cares if I am kind, loving, understanding or mean, hateful or judgmental. The world will continue, and in effect, all that I am is nothing. The world will keep turning without me. Billions of people will rise in the morning, whether I am here or not. Lives will continue, the world will go on, with or without my contribution.

Yet, a small part of the world may benefit from my decision to be caring, kind, accepting, and loving toward those in my life. All I can do is make my actions positively represent my best self and best efforts. The thought that I am nothing with no more influence than anyone else but no less either is Wisdom itself. I have long stopped judging myself and my philosophies as good or bad because they are things I think and experience. I know that I am nothing, and in that knowledge, I have the potential to make a difference.

I am Everything

Love teaches me that I am Everything. In my experience, the human heart is not well equipped to handle love. The emotions of our lives come to us in waves, love, lust, anger, hatred, jealousy, pain, anger, joy, attachment, kindness, meanness, loss, gain, and many more things are all wrapped up in the emotion we describe as love. There are so many things wound up into this experience nobody can take it all quickly. But in love, we can find our best selves and abilities to rise to the surface of who we are.

Inside of us is the constant battle of choice and love is at the forefront of this. It brings heightened experiences and magnifies all the choices we make around them. The more we love ourselves and others, the more our life has to contribute to the world. In being conscious of how our thoughts of love materialize in the world. The closer we are to being our best selves. Love knows I am Everything and in Everything, from nature to thoughts in my head. We are vital to the world because of our capacity to see the value in others and life. This view is often obscured by the painful needs of our false selves or ego. We can’t see our love’s value or capacity because we are too worried about our needs not being met. Remember, love knows you are Everything.

Life is In Between

So we look to Wisdom to know we are nothing and love to understand we are Everything, but then there is the experience of life. We have to be able to look at our experiences and quantify them in some way. It is tough for me because I am constantly moving between these two different realities, and the closer I am to Wisdom, the more lonely and sad I feel. So is it better to be less wise and more blissful in experiencing love each day? I think the phrase is, ignorance is bliss.

I do know that the only person who controls the amount of love I give to the world is me. Circumstances are what they are. The choices of others are theirs to make, and they define their lives. It seems very unwise to allow them to dictate how you feel about yourself. That seems silly and dangerous. A person could be mentally unbalanced, and letting their vacillations of thoughts and caring dictate your reality will make you mentally unstable. I hope I can choose to be wise and loving.

Being Wise and Loving

I hope that in the game of life, I can learn to practice the Wisdom of knowing I am not the center of the universe. Understanding the love I can contribute to the world can make a difference in some small way. By choosing to put the well-being of others and those, I affect in my life. Making positive choices each day and in each situation I face is the best decision I can make. I am choosing to be kind, not mean. To be honest and not lie. To be accepting of others and not judgmental. To be giving, not selfish. To be appreciative, not greedy.

There is only one way that I will find out: to live life and hope that I can navigate this minefield of emotions, thought, and action—turning my life into something that resembles value to others and myself. It must be a pleasant existence to float through things and not wonder about anything in any deep and contemplative way. But that is not my path. Is it one of Wisdom, one of love, or one that contains a balance within? Only in the end will the answer be revealed if it has all been false sense or not.

“Wisdom knows I am nothing,
Love knows I am Everything,
and between the two, my life moves.”

 

21

Greatest

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Most excellent- notable; remarkable; exceptionally outstanding

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? What you should see is the most incredible human being that has ever walked on this planet. Why? Because that is precisely who you are. People shy away from thinking of themselves in this way. Either because of the fear of what others think and being considered arrogant or a significant lack of confidence. Either way, if you do not believe you are the greatest YOU there is, who will?

Take a moment and acknowledge all of the great things that exist in you. It doesn’t mean you don’t have flaws but focus on the great because that will help you along the way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking you are the greatest; it isn’t arrogant or conceited; it is the goal all of us should be striving for in your life. It all starts with our thoughts about ourselves and our abilities, the words we use to project that to the world, and the actions we take because of our feelings of greatness.

Fear Of Greatness

We are our own worst critics because nobody knows our flaws more than we do. You have to spend all of your time with you, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. There is no escape, and you know the truth about yourself. We have weak moments, and we are not always perfect. Our focus tends to go in the direction of focusing on our shortcomings and ignore the fact that all people, if they

can get out of their way, have the potential for greatness in some areas. Even you! We don’t focus on that, but we should.

One of the greatest athletes and humanitarians of all time was Muhammad Ali. He spent a lot of time telling the world how great he was. At first, nobody listened. They laughed at him, calling him arrogant. But eventually, throughout his career, Ali proved he was, in fact, the greatest. This process is a mentality that we all can take. Not to diminish the efforts or accomplishments of others but to direct our best energy toward our best self. It is not arrogant to be confident. Ever. Confidence allows you to perform at your highest and be the best version of yourself that you can. You are the greatest.

Sticks and Stones

There are always going to be people who don’t like you. Either you threaten them, or your greatness points out their shortcomings. No matter the reason, to be confident in life, you have to learn to deal with those who will try to tear you down. Pay no attention to the things that come from outside of you. They are of no consequence and have all the power and meaning that you give them. Pay full attention to what is inside of you. The messages you are sending yourself. Those are the ones that dictate what you accomplish.

When you pay attention to the noise on the outside, you are trying to compromise yourself to become what others think you should be — leaving your greatness behind to become someone else’s version of mediocrity. That will not allow you to be the best you can be. Inside we have the power to use a voice of confidence for what we can do and appreciation for who we are. Don’t be afraid to be the greatest and show the world what you can do.

Mistakes and Mishaps

Will you ever make a mistake? Of course, you will, but that is OK because you are the greatest, and you will not let an error control your self-esteem. The most exceptional people learn from situations, taking valuable lessons, and moving forward not to make the same mistake again. That is why you are the greatest in the world because you can do this. Those who let the fear of making a mistake seep into their consciousness are doomed to a life of worry about what might happen and never enjoy just being the greatness in the person they are.

Remember that no matter how great you are, there are things that happen out of your control. Robust growth and learning often come directly from the challenges we face in life. Most often, these challenges bring along with them an equally powerful opportunity. Life puts these things in our experience for a reason. Just like most people enter our lives for a reason, most often to teach us something. Be great and learn the lesson, gain the knowledge, and move forward confidently into greatness.

You Are the Greatest

You are the greatest, and nobody can take that away from you. There is nobody else who can be you and do the things you do. People may lie to you, disappoint you, outright harm you, give you no explanations, change you from best friend to worst enemy. It is possible to overcome it all if you can maintain your focus. Don’t be afraid of your greatness, and live comfortably inside yourself with the knowledge that you are the greatest. It all starts with your thoughts, words, and actions today. YOU ARE THE GREATEST!

“I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was.” ~Muhammad Ali

“I’m not the greatest. I’m the double greatest. Not only do I knock ’em out, I pick the round. I’m the boldest, the prettiest, the most superior, most scientific, most skillfullest fighter in the ring today.” ~Muhammad Ali

“Imitation is suicide.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If things go wrong, don’t go with them.” -Roger Babson.

 

Life

Perception

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Our perception of situations will dictate all of our actions and the emotions we feel in any case. We don’t often pay attention to that any situation provides perceptions in any number of different ways.  Each viewpoint brings other emotions, a different thought process, and a different reality to the perceiver.  So how you perceive things in your mind will directly affect the fact that you experience.  So it is essential to understand your perception is one of the keys to consciousness and creation.  Look at your thoughts, words, and actions in any situation and see if you perceive it negatively or positively. You do have a choice because perception is an ongoing process of cause and effect.

Negative Perception

Our perception is a direct result of our thought process. When a situation occurs, we immediately provide a thought to it, leading to emotion. That emotion leads to chemicals released into the brain and neural pathways created.  If your view is directly about fear, lack, anger, judgment, or any other negative emotion, your brain is hardwiring to build a negative perception of this experience.  Usually, it seems there is a fear of being hurt at some level and that self-preservation drives our natural comprehension. But only if you don’t take control.

Turning around negative perceptions is as simple as changing your mind.  Easy to say, challenging to do, but anyone can accomplish this if they try.  The key is to be in touch with your emotions. People don’t feel angry, threatened, sad, happy, joyous, or anything else for no reason. There is always a catalyst event that causes emotion.  Look at the reason you are feeling the way you are. It is still the thought you attach to in any situation. Changing your thoughts is a conscious process.

Feel a negative emotion welling up. Stop! Just for a second and recognize the catalyst for negative perception. It is a replay of some experience. Can you let it go? Situations contain the charge of negativity or positivity based on our understanding alone.  Can you look at the circumstances and release the negative and relax into a more positive emotion.  Peace, love, kindness, gratitude, excitement, or hope are good examples of positive emotions.

Positive Perceptions

Once you recognize the negative and replace it with positive alternatives, your neural pathways will be built, which reflect this.  Many people seem to spend much of their lives focused on the negative of everything they see. Fighting with people for no other reason than to prove they are right.  Right and wrong is only one’s perception and letting go of the emotions around what other people think differently from you is healthy and necessary to build your consciousness.

No matter how intelligent you feel you are or how much you think you understand the world, you have little control over the perceptions of others. We are all playing the same game, but we most likely are at different locations on the board.  Perceive others with kindness and understanding rather than judgment. If you let someone else dictate your emotions, you lose your power. Keep your potential by controlling how you perceive the experiences in your life — kindness, hope, caring, understanding, acceptance, gratitude, and love.

You do You

People seem to invest a lot of time to attempt to control the perception that others have of them. This view creates through social media; people show the best sides and create an image they want you to perceive. It seems like we would do a lot better in the world by just being ourselves and letting everyone else be who they are.  Social media is addictive because it allows you to both be a voyeur into the lives of others and to create snap judgments about others.

Worry about yourself because that is the only person you can control. Your experiences and your thoughts about them are a single perception that matters.  Spending time in judgment is negative and limits your ability to create positively. Make choices that honor you, that you are proud of and can stand behind.  There is no need to force your beliefs on another because it doesn’t matter what they think. That is their perception. Let them grow in their way.  Focus on your perception, and it starts with your thoughts, words, and actions. 

“It is above all by the imagination that we achieve perception and compassion and hope.” Ursula K. Le Guin

“The difference between ordinary people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure.”   John C. Maxwell

Perception-the ability to see, hear or become aware of something through the senses.

 

21

Responsible

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NEVER MAKE EXCUSES

Accept Responsibility for Life.

Each day, we can make these decisions to bring our lives into balance, enjoy the experience more, and connect us to life in general.

Today is a day of potential with a chance of increasing your enjoyment and energy by accepting things as they indeed are and taking responsibility for them.  Those two skills will allow you to experience a more happy and balanced life.  It is a simple concept but takes discipline to perform consistently. It begins by being conscious of your thoughts, the words you use to express them, and the actions you take because of the ideas you entertain. These are not complex concepts to fathom, nor are they trying to put into practice, but few choose to do them consistently because you have to be consistent in your practice.

Things Are What They Are

It can be difficult for people to accept unpleasant things as a part of their lives. This fact is true of experiencing some significant change on our part. Sometimes it is just easier to wish things were like they used to be, but they never are.  Change is happening all around you and inside you every day. The new comes and takes the place of the old, and that is a reality. To refuse to accept this is a cause of suffering.  Things are what they are. To think anything else is delusionary.

Accept the things in life. All the changes and growth that are going to come until the time that life ceases to exist continually.  Accept yourself and all others and the role they are playing in your life. Acknowledge that there is a divine presence in everyone, even if their actions are harmful and their behavior is unsatisfactory. Accept them and their journey as a part of yours. Life moves, injuries occur, rehabilitation is needed, you may find yourself down and in need of a comeback. All of these are possible once you accept how things are. You will have a solid base to go wherever you want. Accept things as they are because that is how they are.

Responsibility For All

My thoughts, words, and actions are all my responsibility, always.  This fact is a concept more people should focus on in their life. We all make a million decisions in a day. Most are rote actions we complete daily, and those decisions are made subconsciously and may or may not represent what you want to stand for. Focusing on all the ideas we bring into reality with our words and actions means you have to be conscious and aware. Choices of harsh words can harm people deeply below the surface where you can’t directly see the harm. It doesn’t matter what your intent is. It matters what the actual result is. If your words hurt someone, you are responsible for that, regardless of your original intention.

Many people choose to avert responsibility for whatever reason. It is a habit that allows the negative energy of a poor choice to stay with you for a long time.  Learn to accept responsibility for all things in your life, and when it needs to be “fixed,” then start fixing.  The acceptance will lead to a higher quality of life, bringing balance and happiness to your daily experience.  When you accept responsibility for all things, there is no fear of what others think. You are going to be productive and feel better about yourself. Your relationships with significant others, friends, family, and co-workers will also be better. When you make a mistake or hurt someone, take responsibility, and make amends.

Make Two choices Today.

It is up to you today to look honestly at your location and accept that it is a reality. You live where you live. You make the amount of money you make. You have the friends you have. If any of those things aren’t where you would like them to be, then you have the power to change them.  Be responsible for your choices every day and look for ways to learn from those who aren’t so good.  Use them to become better the next time you have options.  All of the things you choose are in your power.  Things may happen out of your control, but your decisions about dealing with them are all under your control. Nobody can make them for you.

As you move through this day, please take a moment and look at the thoughts you are entertaining about your life and how it is progressing today. Are you taking responsibility for where you are? Are you blaming others or circumstances? Are you just existing without much thought about it at all?  You have a conscious choice to see where you are and to accept responsibility for it. Once you do this, you can use your words and actions to make your life a more enjoyable experience. The level of enjoyment you experience is all up to you and the thoughts you choose to entertain in your conscious mind.

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”- Nathaniel Branden.

“Even the acceptance of personal responsibility may not overcome the temptation to believe that now is not the time to repent. ‘Now’ can seem so difficult, and ‘later’ appear so much easier. The truth is that today is always a better day to repent than any tomorrow. “-Henry B. Eyring.

“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.”- George Orwell.

 

 

21

Change The World

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Always-at all times, on all occasions.

I am the kind of person that looks for exceptions.  There are a few things that seem to be always correct. I look for themes permeating through all situations and interactions.  When looking for these themes in life, I raise my consciousness and look for things that matter.  I am finding parts of myself that have value and need to focus daily to bring more positivity. What you remember about yourself and your abilities will directly lead to the success you experience in life.  Each of us has the power within us to change the world, and it is up to you to decide if that change is a positive or a negative one.  Every day, we always have choices between one path and another, one of pure positive and one of fear.  You always make a choice.  Today the focus is on some of the forces in your life which are still at your disposal.  It begins with a look at your thoughts, the emotions that connect to them, the words that you speak to express your feelings, and the actions you choose to take in the end. Invariably these things are connected.

Always Ignore the Naysayers

No matter what you are trying to accomplish in life, there will still be people who will express their disbelief in you and what you are doing.  What is their motivation? Usually, it is fear.  If you can accomplish the goals you set and took steps towards, then the only thing stopping them is Alwaysthe strength to choose.  It isn’t easy to maintain excitement about your goals because someone always seems to be deterring you. Telling you the goal is impossible. They may think it outlandish, out of your league, silly, or a waste of time.  Always ignore this.

When it comes to accomplishment, the most important thing is to try. Once you make an effort, one of two things will happen.  You will succeed, or you will fail. There is a power in knowing.  If you reach then high, you have accomplished what you set out to do. If you fail, then great. You have gained valuable information about what you need to do to make whatever you are doing work the next time.  Then you get a chance to try again with more knowledge and understanding of the process.  Always this is the case. Ever none of this good stuff happens if you listen to those who dismiss things out of hand. Still, ignore the naysayers.  They are roadblocks on the path to success in anything you do.

Always Treat People Well

All people could still do, which will make the lives of everyone you deal with, will be better.  I learned a long time ago that if you treat people well, it always comes back to you.  Be honest, be kind, understand, and stay away from being self-centered about your dealings with others.  It is an easy recipe but sometimes hard to remember. I have days when I have to remind myself of this—going to the gym. Seeing there seem to be people who are just getting in my way.

At these moments, I have to take a deep breath and remember it isn’t all about me, and change my thoughts from frustration to understanding.  We are all just trying to get through our lives.  Treating people as they want to be treated is pretty straightforward. Please pay attention to what those you care about like and then provide that experience to them.  There is no time that it isn’t the best choice to treat people well, and it will all come back to you.  I have often said it doesn’t cost anything to be kind.

Always Face Your Fear

We are all afraid of something: heights, crowds, snakes, or public speaking. Something is going to make us feel frightened.  Fear has a deeper hold on most of us as well. Fear is the opposite of love.  Now our underlying concerns exist because of something that happened to us in our experience. It could have been something that happened to you or, more often, something we heard to avoid because it might harm us.  So we live our lives being afraid of something that unnecessarily causes stress in our lives.

Always facing your fear is a good policy.  Once you do, you realize that if fear can stop you from being yourself around what you are afraid of, it can control you in other ways. Face your fear.  If you are scared of snakes, hold one. If you are fearful of public speaking, do it. Whatever it is, face it, and the realization that fear is just a thought that we give power to is all that is left.  Take that power away, and you can replace the idea with something much more productive and help you accomplish your goals.

Always Sum it Up

There are many things I could put on the list of always, love, be kind, give, be grateful, which are just a few that jump out at me.  I am thankful for the people in my life.  I appreciate them all.  I urge you to think of things you always do and look for areas to improve your experience. The lives of those around you will get better as well.

It begins with raising your awareness and becoming aware of your thoughts, the corresponding emotions, the words that result from those thoughts, and the actions that spring from them.  It is always a choice to allow a view to having power, either positive or negative. Choose well.

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”  Jimmy Dean

“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your sunshine.”   Anthony J. D’Angelo

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.”- Og Mandino.

 

 

 

21

Attitude Adjustment

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Recently, I have been reminded that no matter how much you focus on the positive, there will still be moments when you are going to feel some negative emotions. They may be a rare occurrence, but they do happen in everyone’s life. Rather than be held hostage by negative emotions, I look for ways to leave that negative mood behind and move into a more personally valuable space. Accomplishing this is not easy because once you let the gloomy thoughts into your area, they tend to take over and dominate your thoughts, words, emotions, and actions, negatively affecting your life and all those in it. The great news is none of these thoughts patterns are permanent, and some simple things can help you find a better space.  Our moods are energy, and we have the power to shift our energy at any time.  Be assured that an attitude is as permanent as the thoughts you decide deserve your focus.  You can turn it around, and here is how.

Learn the Positive Opposite

One of the easiest ways to change your emotional state is to recognize the negative and focus your attention on its positive opposite. When a situation occurs and stirs up negative emotion, first, understand what is happening. You know that you feel anxious, angry, upset, worried, mean, or some other feeling on the opposing side. Once you identify the emotion, you will want to understand what is making you feel that way. Some situation has brought on negative thinking.  Understanding this will provide insight into what you need to work on for yourself and better deal with future problems.  Once you have pinpointed the negative emotion that is permeating your mind, immediately identify with its opposite. If you are feeling anxious, focus on things that calm you.

To be calm is a challenge because negative moods and emotions are much like quicksand; they suck us in slowly and inevitably and are not easy to escape. The quicker your action, the easier it is to remove yourself from the negative mess. If you sit there wallowing in it and thrashing about, you are only going to sink deeper.  Recognize the negative emotions quickly. Change your thoughts to the opposite of what is dragging you into the muck. The optimistic view is a sturdy rope that will pull you out of that quicksand. Just keep your focus and be willing to believe you can control how you feel and affect the world around you.

Emotional Shift Example

Let’s say you start to feel about anger coming on.  Something has happened to trigger it and make you think you have to express this anger.  First, understanding that anger is the face of fear helps because you are troubled, life isn’t going to meet your needs. But an immediate shift in thought to gratitude or thankfulness for all the things you have will calm this common negative emotion.

Knowing that life will meet your needs will often assure you that anger isn’t the right path to venture down. The same goes for the emotions of fear.  The opposite of fear is love. They go hand and hand, and love is a many-faceted emotion.  If you are experiencing fear of loss, change your focus to the existence of those who love you.

Judgments

Negative emotions, like the judgment of other people, can result in a negative, bad mood. Many of our decisions are created based on erroneous information provided by the media, movies, or, most often, inaccurate preconceived notions. Judging others limits you.   Acceptance is the opposite position that always is available when judgment comes into reality.  Look at the feeling of judgment, recognize why you feel that way. Let it go and allow people to be who they are.  We judge other people on things that are different from us. Usually, judging occurs to make someone feel better about themselves. Or sometimes, a flaw in another is something we see and don’t like in ourselves.

Acceptance is the opposite of judgment and comes when we realize we are all the same inside, and no matter who you are looking at or what they have done, you are connected by our shared humanity.  All people are just a different version of you. Who is to say what you might do or have done in different circumstances. Focus on spending your thoughts on accepting others as they are and making yourself the best version you can. Each moment spent judging the lives of others is a waste of energy and brings you nothing positive at all. Look to recognize the humanity in all people. Even if it pushes you to the depth of your being, try to see another’s humanity.

Positive Focus

positive focusIn our lives, we always have a chance to focus our attention and energy toward the positive. Even when we allow ourselves to fall into a negative mindset, we can still shift it all around and salvage a day or even a situation. There will be some things that hurt us, and we have to react appropriately, but in everyday life, too often, people allow the negative to dominate their existence.  Sorrow and grief will enable you to experience loss, but when it is time to turn it around, you focus on positive things, triumphant situations.  With frustrations or disappointment, change the focus to patient understanding that all items are continually working, and we can’t see the result of any problem right now.

The positive is always available to you. It takes a focus and desire to move into a positive frame of mind continually.  Ask yourself, what kind of life experience do you want to have?  Remember always that life is a finite experience, and it will all be over too soon. You can choose to enjoy the ride.

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” Willie Nelson

“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.”- Hans Selye.

 

21

Positive Vibes

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How might you change your life and the lives of others by being more positive?

Give yourself a little positive boost today.  These things will help us to develop ourselves as productive beings. There are certain areas of life we need to cultivate and others we need to leave behind us.  As you look at the activities and conversations you have throughout your day, take a little time to evaluate how these things I am going to talk about work into your life.  If they are not something you are currently developing, consider taking some time to build these things in your relationships, inside yourself, and life in general.

Generosity is something you can practice every day. You can give things to others, but giving yourself, your time, and caring is much more valuable. Giving will provide you with a path to find growth and learning. Being generous is also the path to receiving as well. Look at your life and see where you can be more generous with your time and give others the attention they need.  Give time, give notice, give love to all areas of your life. The person who will be receiving it is you.

Discipline is another trait you can work on building into your daily life. Be in control of what you say and how you treat other people. All people are capable of causing harm to others with very little thought. Try not to be one of these.  Your growth as a positive person should not, in any way, cause damage to others.  Develop a sense of consistent learning and appropriate behavior as life gives you the lessons you need to become better than you were yesterday. Every day is an opportunity to stick to the good and let go of the negative, and to be able to do this consistently takes discipline in life, thought, and action. Work to develop this in your everyday life. My definition of discipline is doing what needs to happen to the best of your ability every time it needs to happen.  Practice this in all areas of your life.

Patience is a different sort of learning experience. It’s human nature to want it all and want it now, but that experience may overwhelm you and not allow for an appreciation of any part of an experience. Let all things evolve at their speed and in their own time.  By enabling each item to grow and develop as it needs, we allow an opportunity to appreciate that thing and a chance to grow from experiencing it.  Growth is the opposite of forcing things, allow the moments to be the moments they are, enjoy the process. Let things develop as they should. Pushing your agenda in life always leaves you empty-handed.  Set a goal, ask for what you want, then let it grow as it should.

Acceptance of ourselves, others, and life’s situations is another key area we can develop. We all must give away our thoughts of perfectionism, which is always a lie someone else has told you. Instead, focus on the truth of who you are and the quality that exists in every moment. What is perfection but a created thought of the desired outcome?  In other words, how we perceive a situation should play out. But who is to say what is best for us? What is the learning we need? Let go of the need for perfection and embrace the quality that naturally exists in every moment. There is a beauty in the imperfection and power there too.  Allow all things to be perfectly imperfect. In this imperfection, we can find ourselves and appreciate the matrix that is life.

Use your mind rather than letting your brain use you. Or worse yet, letting someone else do your thinking for you.  Control is gained by learning to relax and allowing your thoughts to flow. You are not identifying with any of them in particular but noticing each as they pass you by on their way. To think this way is meditation, and with practice, it can calm you physically and improve your mental capacity.

Most importantly, control of your mind will allow you to exist in this moment, which is the only thing you have.  Thoughts of the past and future are all fantasy, created in our minds. The present moment is the only one we can live in and learn to embrace and enjoy it. Connect with the things in your life right now.

Cultivate your most powerful asset, your thoughts. This growth occurs just like tending a garden. The activities you participate in, the ideas you think, and the actions you willingly participate in will allow for the appearance of the backyard of your mind. Most people never realize how they are creating their existence and experience, primarily based on the tenor of their thoughts. Keep your mind open to experiencing new paths of positive experience. All of our feelings will result in an emotional response, and those responses will be charged with positive or negative energy.  Positive energy will pick you up, and the negative will take you in the other direction.

These are all things you can add to your life today if you need a little positive boost.  Who wouldn’t want that?

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life because you become what you believe.”

“When you can’t find the sunshine, be the sunshine.”

“So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you think about adding new good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.”

“A great attitude becomes a great day, which becomes a great month, which becomes a great year, which becomes a great life.”

 

21

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

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Are there any truths that are universally accepted, no matter what? I think there are a few concepts whose value is universally positive and something you strive to practice in your life.  Because if you involve these things into your existence, then your life will provide more value to the world, and the world will offer more value to you.  Developing a foundation of trust is vital to cooperating with others and developing a long-term pattern of personal growth and interpersonal interactions.  The universal truths accepted and practiced will allow you to live a more positive, productive, and successful life.  Fairness, integrity, honesty, human dignity, growth, service, and quality are things we should strive for in our lives.

Fairness

The saying, “Life isn’t fair,” is one of the first I remember learning. But that is not true because life is ultimately fair, and looking to provide fairness in all we do is a positive aspect of a person’s personality.  There are equal opportunities for all people to pursue in life. There is money to be made, fame to garner, a joy to find, happiness to experience for everyone. Our attitudes about these things ultimately dictate how much we see.  Fairness is universal and always available. You are in control of how much you experience in life.

All people naturally strive to make things fair in any group setting.  Selfishness, of course, exists. It results when people create their self-worth around material possessions and fear they will not have enough. Enough money, property, ownership, or anything else a person can think and feel is a status symbol. But if you take all of that away, at our core, we can all recognize the value of fairness and how the practice makes life better.

Integrity

The moral code with which we live our lives will define who we are to ourselves and the world. What do you do when nobody is watching?  I have known many people who were quite hypocritical in this arena. Putting on a charitable, kind face in one situation but then being something entirely different in another.  Developing integrity inside yourself of kindness, honesty, compassion, and understanding is vital to becoming the best version of yourself, and I think it is the same for all people.

Each person decides this for themselves, and it is not something set in stone. Like all aspects of the human experience, it is developing throughout your life. You can improve your integrity and grow as you learn through life.  Being more positive is realizing your choices in all areas of personal development and deciding to “be better.”  That road is always available to you to change, grow, and have more integrity in your life.

Honesty

Being honest is a much more complicated concept than it should be.  Too often, we do not tell the truth because of fear. Fear of hurting someone else on the positive side or fear of losing something, lack, or pain on the less kind face of things. All people have lied at some time, and the repercussion of that act will stay with you forever.  Being an honest person is a skill like any other, and it brings the benefits of trust, faith, and appreciation with it.  It always amazes me how many people never focus on being honest when dishonesty leads to nothing but trouble and negative life experience.

Honesty is the best policy because you never have to remember what you said. The truth is always the truth, and it doesn’t change.  It also benefits improving your character, energy, and ability to make a positive impact on life. In this world, we live in can be a challenge, and the person it is most important, to be honest with is yourself.

We Are All The Same on the Inside

Too often, we define people by what we see on the outside and ignore the inside of someone.  We are all the same on the inside. We have thoughts and emotions which are telling us what to do and how we feel about things.  These things build through our conditioning and conscious thinking about living.  We determine if we treat others with human dignity or not. We understand that all people you encounter in all situations are just another version of you, and your compassion for their condition can only help. When you have a choice to be kind or not, be kind to another. Please treat them with respect and understanding.  Regardless of race, religious conviction, problems, body type, or mental capabilities, all have emotions and thought to dictate their existence. We are all in the same boat.

Try today to look at all people through this lens and see the commonalities existing within them.  Each person you see has a nonstop river of thought and emotion running inside of them, just as you do.  They are trying to make sense of the information they are taking in and the reality they are experiencing. Perception is our reality.  Separations exist to protect people in a physical, emotional, and mental way. If you look at everyone understanding their similarities rather than their differences, there is nothing to fear. We are all the same.

Growth or Death

It is the way of nature in all things to seek a growth path. To become better tomorrow than we are today or ever have been in the past. Each day of our lives provides us with the opportunity to grow from our current state of living, thought, and understanding of the world and become something more.  What precisely depends on us and how we approach our lives. It is my experience we are moving in one of two ways for the most part. We are getting better, or we are getting worse. I have seen people with nearly unlimited potential refuse to believe in themselves and wither away into a recluse of self-absorption.  I have seen other people with less talent continually work and strive to be better, and those people always win in the end.  Growth is a universal part of life, embrace it and become a better version of yourself tomorrow.

You can choose to follow a growth path today and become a better person than you were in the past. It is up to you to make the choices that lead you to think better, act better, and become a better person. These options are always there for you to make. The fiber of your existence will depend on the choice you make in this area. Are you getting better, or are you getting worse today?  Strive for better and improve a little bit, and your life will start to flourish.

Service

We are not put here in this life to do things for ourselves. The people who follow that path are narrow-minded, selfish, and unhappy at the end of the day.  Our lives are meant to have a purpose, and that will be revealed when you start to put the happiness of others ahead of yourself.  What service looks like to you will be unique to your talent, temperament, interests, and personal experience.  Rest assured that life will put you in a position to provide a service to others.

It is common to look at yourself and fear you don’t have anything to give anyone needs. That is a mistake; if nothing else, you can offer kindness, caring, understanding, empathy, happiness, joy, support, and tenderness to the world. That is the decision of service you can make in any life and at any time.  Is there any argument that these things will make the world a better place and you a significant contributor? Think of service in this vein, and all of the small ways you can make a positive difference will reveal themselves to you. Have to courage to give your service and change the world in a small positive way.

Quality

There is an opportunity on most days to show what quality you carry inside of you.  It may be any of the above characteristics you display in your interactions with others or just the patterns of thought you choose to pay attention to, but the quality of your life is an important thing to keep in mind.  Your class will show in everything you do. Not in the initial results of an activity, but do you practice the growth mindset and strive to get better? Or do you stick to the little thoughts about your abilities and shy away from being vulnerable enough to learn something new?

Your ultimate quality as a person will be determined by the positive or negative impact you have had on other people and their lives. This effect is a choice that you can make every day of your life and at every moment. Determine your quality and understand nobody, but you are responsible for the amount of quality your life provides others.  It is a sobering question to ask yourself how much quality you have provided to the world.

Finally……..

Take an honest look at your life at this moment and evaluate the direction it is moving in.  If you feel something is lacking, then start by looking at how each of these universal truths is being practiced in your life.  It may be an eye-opening and sobering experience. But one in which you can make choices to improve in any area you wish.  Need to be kinder? Make that choice.  Need to improve your integrity? Do that.  Need more honesty? Be honest.  There is always a chance in every new day to move your life in a different direction. It is up to you to decide if you will be moving in a direction more positive or negative than before.

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes; it’s a universal truth.” – Marilyn Monroe.

“We can’t control what thoughts and emotions arise within us, nor can we control the universal truth that everything changes. But we can learn to step back and rest in the awareness of what’s happening. That awareness can be our refuge.” -Sharon Salzberg.

“Each of us embodies, in a particular tale and clothed in the garments of time & place, universal truth, and everlasting life.”- J.R.R. Tolkien. 

“The only time you have is the where and when of right now. There will always be good times, bad times, hard times, and complete disasters. However, there is no other option but to be where you are when you are. That is a universal truth for everyone. The important thing is how you respond, what you decide to do, and when you decide to do it.”- Chris Murray.

“Universal truth is not measured in mass appeal.” 

 

 

21

Believing it

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my mind works overtime, sometimes
my mind works overtime, sometimes

 

I developed a post about my core beliefs a few years ago. Since then, I have experienced a lot, but, remarkably, so much of what I believed has stood up to the test of time.

These personal beliefs are ever-evolving, but this is where they stand right now.

All People are Connected

Call it God, the Universe, or whatever your religion dictates, but to me, we are all connected through a divine order.  All people contain the same abilities for great love and an equal capacity for evil.   I believe that the perceived separateness of the world leads to many of the problems we face in religion, race, age, sexuality, or any other label we can apply to each other. Just as many drops fall together to make the ocean, we are all unique pieces of the whole. The more we recognize the same, the more understanding and kindness we can show each other, and the better the world will be.

Practice kindness with all people because you are a few circumstances away from being exactly in their shoes.

Your Actions Define Who YOU Are

Talk is cheap. What you do is the definition of your character.  I have heard the soft and sympathetic words that were worth absolutely nothing but have been blessed by the actions of many great people.  Saying you are something means nothing. Being that thing means everything.

Taking action is the catalyst to all achievements, great and small. Having the courage to go, stay, jump, start, stop, begin again, love, share, understand, give, etc. It is the beginning of anything and will lead you to understand who you are and find your place in the world.

Live in the Moment, and it is all you have

It seems like I have wasted a lot of time, feeling wrong about the past and the things I can never change or worrying about the future and the things that most likely will never come.  When I can live in the moment, I find peace, motivation, enjoyment, love, etc.

Being in the moment and being grateful for all that exists with you at that time is a great recipe for happiness. Plan the best you can through goal setting and dreams but understand that you can’t control everything, and sometimes the things that happen, which seem unwanted, provide unforeseen growth and understanding. They catapult us into places we wouldn’t have thought to go.

Thinking Positively Leads to a Happier Life

“Bad” stuff happens to everyone at some point in life. How you deal with it is essential.  Life is full of things that you define as good or bad. Describing them as positives allows you to enjoy life more, be healthier, and support those you love. At the same time, negative thinking is defeatist and will supply you with the exact opposite.

How you choose to perceive anything will determine the overall value it provides to your experience of life. All things have the potential to work for good. Your mental state will determine how much interest they provide your life if any.

Positive thinking does not ignore the negative, and it should put it into a perspective of positive, as best that you can. It also doesn’t mean that you accept the poor behavior of others. It means that you do not choose to let poor behavior negatively influence you. I can’t control the behavior and choices of others, only the choices that I make. That is it. I try to do better than I did yesterday. That is all I can do.

All People Have Value

Sometimes, this is difficult to remember when I am angry or hurt, but that doesn’t change my belief.  People live differently, make poor decisions, and look differently, but inside they are all valuable. Every person that you meet knows something that you don’t, and that is the thing that is one of the many values of meeting new people.

All that separates any of us from the circumstances of another is mere chance.  At our core, we are all beings of love. Keep this in mind and be patient with others. There are always thousands of unseen reasons that lead to behavior. Don’t be quick to judge a story by the one short chapter you see. Read the whole book so that you can understand things in context.

Dreaming is Vitally Important

Every person that has ever been born has had a dream of some kind. There are no exceptions.  Life has a way of making many of us forget these dreams as we are swept up in living from day to day and the years drift past us.

Dreams of being a musician, a painter, a doctor, an astronaut, a professional athlete, or any other dream you might have had are a good thing.  Dreams help us to set our intentions for our actions. It is never too late to pursue a dream, and whether the dream is completed or not, the journey will be the valuable part that makes you who you are.

When a person takes action, they can make their dream come true.  That action will lead to a result of success or failure. Failure is not an ending, and it is the roadmap to finding another way to find success. Action toward your dream is the only way that you will know what works.

Gratitude is the Right Attitude

Being grateful for what you have in life leads to appreciation. Rather than looking for something else you don’t have for comfort or happiness, look at what you do have and be grateful for it.

There are many benefits that gratitude will bring to life, but happiness and enjoyment are two of the best. Remember that those you love and who love you are the greatest gifts and should never be taken for granted, be grateful for them.

Forgiveness is Necessary to Move Forward

Who hasn’t been hurt? Let down? We all have issues with others, and we all have a choice, be angry or forgive them. Forgiveness is a tonic that will allow you to be free. It isn’t condoning or approving of the behavior of others, but it is an acceptance of what has happened and making a choice not to let the power of that event rule you.

To forgive someone for something they did that harmed you is very difficult. It can’t just be lip service of saying that they are ignored. It has to be inside your heart.  The only one who can give forgiveness is you, and the sooner you give it, the sooner you can move on.  Letting go of pain, sadness, anger, or any other negative emotion is key to enjoying life.

I read somewhere that you know that someone is forgiven when you think of them, and there is no subtle searing inside your heart.  It can take a conscious effort, but with forgiveness comes freedom and strength.

Embrace Love, Avoid Fear

All people carry this choice inside of them. The one you pay attention to will determine the experience of your life.  Focus on the love-based emotions of kindness, understanding, generosity, acceptance, patience, and love while avoiding the fear-based emotions and thoughts of anger, hate, separation, jealousy, stereotyping, and judgment. It can be harder to do than it sounds, but the effort is well worth it.  Our experience is primarily the result of this continual decision. Fear or love?

 

21

Wishes

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What do you wish you spent more time doing Ten years ago?

Five years ago, life was very different.
Five years ago, life was very different.

Ten years bring many life changes. I have changed jobs a few times, moved to new locations, and changed my entire outlook on life.

Looking back,  it is kind of amazing that so many experiences came to me in the short period of a few years.

Now, like most people looking through the lens of experience, there are many things I wish that I had been doing earlier in my life. But all is a process, and you have to follow them step by step. What seems like wasted time is really time to learn.  A few of these lessons follow.

I Don’t Think I Thought Enough.

positive-thinkingOne of the things that I really wish I spent more time doing was thinking.  Not the egoic thoughts of judgment and criticism, I had plenty of those, but time spent contemplating the wonder of life and how to live it and be happy doing it.

I spent way too many years just assuming that I knew the answers when I really wasn’t even aware of the right questions.  It is an inevitable part of the aging process that when you reach the 40’s you start to reevaluate your thoughts, and you start to see through the cracks quite clearly because you are just not happy even though you did all that you were supposed to do.

However, I am also wise enough to know that I couldn’t have possibly spent more time thinking five years ago because I was not ready to absorb the lessons life had for me.  In time, I can only hope that I am a willing receiver and am moving my thoughts in the right direction—kindness, acceptance, and understanding.

Understanding  Friendship Better

pravs-j-hold-on-to-friendshipFriendship is a two-way street, and I was the kind of person five years ago who thought I had many friends.  I had a lot of acquaintances with whom I shared a job or an interest in golf but very few friends.  I wish that I had invested more time in developing those relationships on my part.

When hard times come, you find out who you can count on and whom you can’t.  I don’t blame anyone but myself for this realization.  I think I just expected friendships to continue without any real investment on my part.  Since all relationships are two-way streets, I have to conclude that the disappearance of so many in a time of crisis has to reflect my own contribution to those relationships.

I should have been investing more into those relationships a long time ago.  There are many people I miss. Those who I laughed with sharing a joke over lunch, or just in passing jest. The loss highlights my failure as a friend was a significant shortcoming.  I, of course, would never value friendship as much as I do today if I hadn’t had that experience.  The friends I make in life, and the world are all so very cherished by me. Any person who cares enough about me to invest interest and time is indescribably valued.   Sometimes it is lessons learned the hard way that lasts.

Not Doing It Alone

It is OK to accept a helping hand once in awhile and to give one as well.
It is OK to accept a helping hand once in a while and to give one as well.

There are some dark and difficult times in all lives, and mine was the darkest and most difficult seven years ago.  There is little value in getting into the details because they don’t matter much.  But I was in dire need of help then but did all that I could to avoid getting it.  I pushed away those who cared about me so that my depression and problems wouldn’t “bother” their lives.  I suffered in silence, and the keyword here is suffered.

Suffering is a part of life, but it can be made much less difficult if you don’t choose to suffer all alone.  There were plenty of people willing to help, but when you are in a hole, you don’t see the value.  At least not until long after the need for help is imminent.  I should have asked for help and allowed others to help me. I did not.

This was a valuable lesson for me though I think as I read things people post about struggles that they are having, I am glad to offer support and encouragement to them because they may, in fact, be in a hole of their own if they need help in how to get out. Hopefully, they know to ask.  I may not know the answer, but I will attempt to help.

Ten years have brought a lot of change. I had never written a significant word of any kind in my entire life, I had never heard of a blog, and I was shoulder deep in negative, self-defeating thoughts.  It has been an interesting time period. Any wish to do anything differently is really just a wasted thought because all experiences are a gift that provided the life lessons to become a better person, and for that, I am grateful.