Tag Archives: Understanding

21

Seperation

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What invisible walls separate you from others?
What invisible walls separate you from others?

Many problems come from the illusion of separation that people have been taught throughout life. Almost from birth, we are introduced to group people and label them based on arbitrary measures. Separation by race, religion, region, economics, or any other action is designed to create an identity, but they only build walls between people. Security is a big reason for this. Where you fit in, you are safe, but later it can be attached to a person’s self-worth and value.  We are not separate; we are connected. The truth is that we are far more connected than we are different. Eliminate the separations between us, and the world will be a much more functional place.

Keep Learning and Growing

The more you learn and understand people, the more difficult it is to 428942_418665911504100_1480841243_nput a fence between you. At our core, we are all the same, and we have a soul, emotions, thoughts, and the capacity to love. Each person is blessed with the same essential functions. In this manner, we are all identical and connected.

Circumstances are different, and it is the circumstances that we tend to focus on. Fear makes people look for differences to make themselves feel more secure, self-assured, or successful. All of this is an illusion. Your success or failure is determined by your thoughts, actions, and perseverance in life. The external factors are arbitrary and have nothing to do with life’s joys or sorrows. We are connected in our humanity, wholly and unquestionably.

Behavior Alone Defines You

It is your behavior that is going to define who you are to yourself and the wayne-dyer-quoteworld. Your words can spin many stories, but your actions tell the truth of what you believe. If you look at the world as separate and look down on people because of broad labels, that shows a lack of growth. Racism is one of these things. Suppose a person judges another based on skin color that clearly defines him and nobody else.  People use the perception of separation to manipulate behavior.

The same can be said for political labels, nationalistic or geographic separations. All of the barriers that we create to separate are built on fear and fear alone. Watch the national media, really watch them. Their message is based almost solely on fear. This message is given to control you. The way you think and the actions of our leaders that you will accept. Listen and learn. Messages of love are accurate; statements of fear are false. Listen to the message.

Fear or Love

Like many things in life, separation comes down to a simple choice between love and fear. Love expands, accepts, understands, and makes f5d22fc753c32bd8a5d6c3491f012f2bthings better, while fear does the opposite, retracts, rejects, judges, and makes things worse. As individuals, we are responsible for our thoughts and our personal growth throughout life. You are not done, at 22 when you graduate college. Learning and growth are lifelong duties.

Some look at the world and see a collection of frightening problems, but others look at the same place and see the beautiful possibilities. Which type of person are you? We are all in this together, and we can spend our time fighting and fretting over our perceived differences. Or we can spend the short time we have in life enjoying our experience and erring on the side of love.

 

 

21

Do Unto Others

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golden-ruleYesterday, I was reminded how simple our philosophy of life should be. We should all be treating others based on the way we would like to be treated. If we all followed this behavior pattern, it would easily eliminate many of the world’s problems. However, as we all know, sometimes things get in the way of putting the golden rule into practice. Here are a few explanations and thoughts on making sure that you are following the golden rule and doing your part to make sure the world is a better place.

Don’t Take it Personally.

Everyone at some time in their lives has been faced with someone who treats us less than fairly. These instances can be painful, especially when the person who mistreats us is a friend. Yet the truth of the 6a0105360968fe970b0134800cd908970c-500pimatter is that their choices have very little to do with you and everything to do with them. We are all living our lives through the scope of our own experience.

People with a false sense of self can justify their actions through lies or misconception. To other people, you are just a bit player in the grand play of their lives. So don’t take the poor behavior of another as a reflection of your character and honesty.  You can only control your actions and responses to the situations that you are faced with.  Face them with integrity and caring for others. Let kindness and understanding be your guide, and don’t take the poor behavior of others personally.

Be Proactive

One of the best defenses against the toxic behavior of those who do not treat you well is to be proactive in implementing the golden rule in your life. Each day provides opportunities to practice treating img_7910others as you would like to be treated, with kindness, dignity, and respect. These types of things are completely in your control. Rather than waiting for a situation to present itself to you, seek the situation to provide someone else with the good feeling of being treated well.

These are simple things, acts of kindness that don’t have to cost a penny. Kindness and respect are always good and may do more for someone than you know. The choice between good behavior and poor behavior spreads like the ripples of a stone cast in the water. What will the ripples of your behavior contribute to the world? That is your responsibility.

So All we Can Worry About Is Us.

As you evolve in your life experience, there is only one thing that you can control, and that is your own behavior, thoughts, and feelings about the situations you are faced with in life. We choose how we treat others. Are we too busy? Are we kind? Or do we feel too busy and brush other’s simple needs off to pursue our own? Do we act selfishly? These choices belong to us and are what we will be held responsible for when this journey comes to an end.

Following the golden rule will bring you to a place of peace, but most importantly, it will be a light and example to a world that sorely needs it.

 

21

Confidence in That

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challenges_aheadEvery person in the world in the history of humanity has been faced with the fact that life is going to be complex or challenging at times. It doesn’t matter what skills and tools you possess, Einstein intelligence, classic beauty, superior physical strength, or massive understanding, you are going to at some time find that life is kicking you around like a rag doll. So naturally, your confidence will be shaken. However, these times are not meant to break you but to strengthen you. The challenge is the thing that will cement your belief in yourself.

Master the Game

It would be nice if life were easy all the time and we had the whole game mastered. But, instead, it is knowing exactly what to do and when. Should I change careers? Is this relationship right for me? Why do I have so many issues, and How do I deal with them?  All of these things are a part of the dance that is life. Life will give you periods where all is calm and nothing but happy times exist, but there are going to be other times that will not be easy. Challenges will most definitely come. And that is OK.

Stretch and Grow

The challenges and the difficulties that we face in life are the things that will force us to stretch and llchagrow in ways that we may never have done before. In fact, without these difficulties in life, we probably wouldn’t have the capabilities and talents that we have. Each hurdle that you have to get over is a teaching tool that has been placed in front of you to allow you to learn, grow and become better than you were before.

When you see a challenge in your life, don’t fear it. Embrace it. The difficulty isn’t going anywhere, and only your attitude and decisions will decide if you learn anything worthwhile or not. It is totally and entirely up to you.

Your confidence will grow as you master the lessons that each challenge brings you. As I see it, the secret is to appreciate, enjoy, and be grateful for the moments that you seem to have everything mastered. Happiness only comes in moments that are happening right now, not in the past or the future. Now. You can be confident in that.

21

Silence and Space

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Silence and space are two of the factors that allow all things to exist, but they are there lying in the background of life largely unnoticed, unappreciated, or even unwanted. But without them, we could speak no word, or we could bring creation into existence.  I am taking a moment to appreciate both the silence and space with all of their magical capabilities today.  There is a power in the silence of a moment that many feel we need to fill with some noise to be comfortable. The same can be said for space, and we often go through our days paying no attention to space all around us. We focus on the things that exist, not seeing the opportunities all around them. Let’s focus today on the power of silence and the space in our lives.

Hear the Silence

It is normal to pay attention to the sounds we hear. For example, a voice brings us information, a song that touches our soul, the dialogue in our favorite shows,  or just the sounds all around us. But to focus on the silence all around us makes all of these sounds possible. Pay attention to the quiet and ignore the sounds for just a short time every day.  When you pay attention to the outer silence, you pay attention to the extreme silence. You create an inner silence inside of yourself.  This allows your mind to become still.

By bringing your mind to stillness, you can see and feel everything around you calmly. The outer silence creates the palate for sound to come into being. The inner silence provides a canvas for the clear internal words and noises to be spoken as well. Honest thoughts of value can come to you out of the silence of your mind. The answers to questions asked, the route to find your happiness. Stillness inside starts with paying attention to the silence without. You can’t pay attention to outer silence and not become still inside, and that contains within it the possibilities of all things.

Wide Open Spaces

For anything to come into being, there has to be a space for it to exist. The power and value of a room are not the four walls but the space inside the walls. It is the same for everything and every place else. It is the absence of things that creates the potential of our world. A blank page is an ultimate playground for great.

Do you see an empty room or a room full of potential?

art of all kinds, writing a story, a thought, or drawing a picture. The space we see is the potential for everything to exist. Space itself has no actual existence, but it allows all other things to exist.

Become acutely aware of the space all around you. If you look closely, you will become aware of the space and the feeling of no thinking, which allows all thoughts to come into your head. Look at the nothing in the room and see its potential. You might see the potential in the space inside you as well—space for creation, caring, and kindness.  There is no limit on the number of these things you can create. Like the silence, space is still and infinite in potential. Look for your creations in the space in your life. It can be shaped into what you need or desire to create.

Connections

Both space and silence allow you to calm and silence your thoughts and allow for the things inside you that are a gift to the world to rise to the top and be shared with all. The cap on the bottle can be removed by becoming still with the silence or empty like space. It allows for things to come out hidden by the sounds or lost behind the things that we already are occupied with. Change your focus from the sounds you hear or the things you see to the silence behind the sound and the space surrounding everything in the world.  This observation is a doorway to creativity and understanding yourself.

“Space and silence are two aspects of the same thing. The same no-thing. They are externalization of inner space and inner silence, which is stillness: the infinitely creative womb of all existence.” – Eckhart Tolle. 

“Let silence take you to the core of life.” ― Rumi

“Never say anything that doesn’t improve on silence.” ― Richard Yates

21

Have a Day

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The time after sunset and before dark, the Gloaming!
The time after sunset and before dark, the Gloaming!

There is a time between the light and dark of day, where if you look closely where all things appear to be possible. It is the location in life where the ghosts of daily accomplishments and future possibilities meet.

Did the light of day provide something worthwhile to contemplate? Or were the seeds planted that are going to flourish into the bountiful harvest of tomorrow?

These thoughts arrive in the gloaming as the day resigns its light and accepts the inevitable cover of the night. An ending of one moment, as we all find the rest, we need to face to possibility and new opportunity the new day will bring. Our spirit guides us through this day.

Morning Dawns

The morning light dancing on the water.
The morning light is dancing on the water.

Just as the case with everyone’s life, each day provides an opportunity for creating whatever we choose.  We are born at dawn, and as life unfolds for however long our day will last, we design, experience, and love those things we create.   The morning is ever hopeful. As light dances on the soft water, so do our dreams and hopes move. We see few limits and move confidently through this time.

Sometimes there are clouds or at least cloudy experiences that darken the sky. Many are just temporary, passing from the sun and memory as quickly as the wind can push them away. Others stay with us like a part of our being throughout our day, an almost permanent black cloud. The morning is an excellent time, full of innocence and possibilities. It can be the most significant part of a person’s day. Yet, the realities of life have not diminished one’s hope and the sight of unlimited potential.

Afternoon Of Realization

Afternoon activity can define your day.
Afternoon activity can define your day.

The morning will only last so long, and the midday and the afternoon follow it. The afternoon is a time of great accomplishment. You have the energy and knowledge built up through the beginning of your day, and now you are putting things learned into practice.  Moving with the experience gained, we march confidently from task to task, applying our knowing purpose to professional and personal experiences.

It is only as the shadows of the afternoon get long that we start to see we might not have known so much after all. Some of our best-laid plans that showed so much promise have crumbled around our heads — threatening to destroy us.  It is like an illusion that existed was suddenly wiped away, leaving something strange in its place. The truth is what is left.  These shadows of the afternoon are disheartening and intimidating, and either you will recognize them as mere shadows of fear and move forward with your plans. Or you are going to hide from them with your head in the sand, remembering the good safe times of morning and dreaming of returning to safety.  It is not possible, but the mind is full of illusions.

The Evening

The lengthening shadows of evening.
The lengthening shadows of evening.

As we move through the evening, there is no longer any fooling ourselves. The day is going to end eventually. It doesn’t matter what you do, where you go, or how you act. The day is going to end permanently.  Dusk is a time for reflection, understanding, and to pass along all the valuable lessons that the day has taught to others.

Some might be fearful their decisions are going to come back to haunt them in the coming darkness. Others are accepting of the inevitability of the end of the day and their part in it.  It is best not to regret the memory of the day because whatever has transpired is still, in its way, fantastic and magical.

There will never be another day like it ever again. Your part in the activities, small or large, has been vital. Events have flowed from them, like drops of water from melted snow collect to create a mighty river.

These rivers allow our choices to weave their way over land and create a mighty ocean. So your part is significant, and the reality of all things would be different if you didn’t play your role in the day.

The Gloaming Comes

The day will end, there is no escaping it. All we can do is enjoy the light we have.
The day will end. There is no escaping it. All we can do is enjoy the light we have.

As you move from the end of the day into the blanket of darkness that is night, there is a final moment of reflection and appreciation.  It is a seemingly magical image in time where there is a glimmer of what the day has wrought — memories of the people and events that colored your life dance together, both thrilling and haunting you simultaneously. As you look into the sky, you see a record of these events, but not written in stone. That is the magic of the gloaming, I think, that the activities you remember are only shadows of reality and maybe playing out differently in some other dimension of time.

It is senseless to fear the gloaming of the day because it is merely a mirror image of your creation.  Let the night come. It is not an ending.  It is only the start of a different time of perceived darkness. As we know, though, the night is not dark. There are starlight and moonlight available to guide you. It is a shadow day, but nothing to be feared. The gloaming of the day is merely the doorway into another world. An inevitable journey that we all are going to take at the end of our day. The light is just on the other side, waiting to greet you and bring you nearly unlimited possibilities.

Get your rest because tomorrow will bring a new tapestry to be woven and a new landscape of possibility.

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21

Sorry

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Sorry- feeling distressed, especially through sympathy with someone else’s misfortune.

sorry
In the game we played as kids, some never learn the value of the word sorry.

Life is a continual path of choices. Each person will make many choices every day, from when to get up in the morning to what they eat that day.  As we move along that path, there will be opportunities to do good things or bad things. To choose to be kind and considerate of others or to make decisions with our own self-interest at heart. All people are going to make decisions they are not proud of at some point. It is part of being human.  Recognizing the wrong you perceive is difficult, but we all have the power to make it right. Say, “I’m sorry.”  This is the first step in making things right for you.  It all starts with a conscious awareness of the things you have done and do which actually cause harm to others.  Your thoughts will reveal your emotions about the things you have done, the words you have or have not used because of them, and the actions you have or have not taken.  I’m sorry is an important place to start when building understanding.

Sorry About My Pride

Pride is a feeling we all have, and it can be a positive thing, but sometimes we let it get in the way.  There are people out there with such fragile egos Im sorrythat admitting they made even the tiniest of mistakes is a threat to their whole identity.  Don’t be one of these people.  It is your ego, or your false self, speaking these words.  Never be too proud to say you are sorry.

Good people make bad choices all the time. That is a part of the process of life called learning.  Be conscious of your choices and the way they affect other people.  Seeing that your decision hurts someone else isn’t an indictment of you and your character. It is a recognition of humanity in someone else.  I’m sorry is a way to state express your understanding of the pain in another person.  You see them, understand them, and will try to help them.  It is a simple matter of putting someone else’s well-being ahead of your own.  It costs nothing, so don’t be too proud to use this phrase.

How Can I Make It Right

Along with the honest sentiment of being sorry for your choice or action, the question should be; How can I make it right?  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, and we learn this from physics. It is true in other Sorryparts of life too.  Hopefully, when you have hurt someone or made a poor choice, there is a way to make it right. Even the worst of behaviors can be atoned for in some way.  It starts by taking responsibility for yourself and your behavior and working toward doing what is right.

Most often, the thing to do is to stop doing the thing that is hurting someone else. That is the moment of choice because either you will put someone else ahead of yourself or are not.  I’m sorry it loses its power if clearly, you are not sorry enough to change your behavior. If you are the source of someone’s misfortune, then show your contrition by stopping that behavior. Stop making the same mistake over and over again. Use them to discover how to live a better life.

Sorry Doesn’t Fix Everything.

Simply saying that you are sorry doesn’t fix everything, and even bargaining a manner to make things right might not do the trick. Having feelings about remorse in the way you treated someone is the first step in your humanity.  And who says it is your job to fix everything.  We can do the only thing to try to become a little bit better a person than we were yesterday. To leave a little more joy in the world and less anger and pain.  To understand where you were wrong, the mistakes you made, intentional or unintentional, and sorry for them.  You can’t control the reactions of others, and who is to say what their emotional state is?  You are responsible for your actions and the footprint that leaves in the world.  This mark begins by being more conscious of your thoughts, emotions, words, and actions today and taking responsibility for feeling and saying you are sorry when you are wrong.

“If we have made an error, done a wrong, been unjust to another or ourselves, or, like the Pharisee, passed by some opportunity for good, we should have the courage to face our mistake squarely, to call it boldly by its right name, to acknowledge it frankly and to put in no flimsy alibis of an excuse to protect an anemic self-esteem.” – William George Jordan.

“An apology is a good way to have the last word.”-Unknown

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”-Paul Boese 

 

21

What If

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What If…….

what-ifThere are questions we ask ourselves all of our lives that can haunt us if we let them. What if that decision was wrong? What if I shouldn’t have done that? What if I had tried out for the chess team in high school? What if I said yes?

There are a million of these questions that can consume your time. Still, they don’t add up to anything in the end because the fact is whatever you are “what if-ing” about didn’t happen, will never happen, and so should concern you about as much as what the weather was in Borneo in the year 1656.

There are many other what-ifs you can worry about that could make a difference in the world, and I think I would instead focus on those.

What if ………..

kind wordsOne kind word from you could make someone else’s day or even save their life. You never know the storm that is brewing underneath the surface of anyone.

Their surface smile could be hiding a storm of emotions below.  One kind word or gesture could be the human contact they needed to keep moving forward. There are many words we let slide with no thought or regard for their destination and potential impact. Speak as if your words could save a life. What if that were so?

What if………….

gratefulInstead of thinking about the things we don’t have, we spent time being grateful for the things we do have. I have seen people make gratitude lists, and it changes the way they look at the world. Gratitude has the power to transform the way you feel about things.

They do not have to be monumental, giant things, be thankful for the little things.  Being alive, a peanut butter sandwich, coffee, or whatever little things bring you comfort and joy throughout your day.  In most philosophies, gratitude is the key to abundance. What if we all were a bit more grateful?

What if………….

Bring down the barriers that enslave us all freedom is priceless to all creaturesThere were no separations between people. That means that nobody grouped anybody. Instead of being sectioned off because of your age, nationality, economic status, or color of your skin, recognize we are all members of one group, human beings.

When you look for differences among people, you find separation. Separation is the first step toward discrimination because it creates us vs. them mentality. The smaller the circle of us becomes, the more likely we are to have a problem.

This is true for any conflict of every size, including the race riots of the 1960s to economic conflicts of today. What if there were no separations between people, just people?

What if………….

governmentThe people who were elected to represent the people represented the well-being of the people.  In the United States, the government and big business have become synonymous in a definition.

What if that wasn’t the case, and they were focused on helping people who live here as much as they are concerned about helping themselves.

Should any person in our country be hungry? Should any person have to fear suffering from domestic violence? Is there any good reason that the educational system is broken beyond repair? Children treated with kindness and hope would change the world.   What if we had a representative government that represented the people and not big business?

What if………..

urlPeople spent more time using the most potent force in the universe, love. Instead of choosing to participate in activities like gossip, discrimination, judgments of others, or worrying about what is in it for me?  Imagine spending their time focusing on understanding, kindness, acceptance, and what they can do for others.

How different would the lives of every person be if they spent all of their effort on spreading loving-kindness? Hatred can only be defeated by love, not more hate. What if people spent more time thinking and acting with respect?

What if it is a question that we can ask all of the time? Some inquiries can be used to hold us back or be used as a catalyst to find the best in ourselves and others.  

 

 

 

21

Challenges

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What would your life look like if you were more positive in your thoughts?

challengesNo matter how confident and successful you are, life has a way of throwing challenges at you that will push you to make decisions redefining who you are and your substance.  In everyone’s life, there will be events that force a constant expression of this experience and force you to take actions that will bring growth in your life.

In the end, even after facing a challenge,  I like to think that we have found a more galvanized understanding of who we are, and we hold on to this self-image with a more critical and realistic passion. Sometimes the challenges are so overwhelming that it takes quite a bit of time to find your equilibrium and look at things with a more open mind and accepting heart.  Will you find positivity at the end of a challenge in life? Only you can tell that for yourself. I have always thought I would. But recently, my life has taught me many things from challenges. I have experience loss, betrayal, poor judgment and found a perspective of forgiveness and, hopefully, positive growth in all areas of my life because of it.

Being Positive, When the World is Negative

Even though I have spent a lot of time learning about the power of being positive, I know positive thoughts produce positive energy. I have, on positive_redcoccasion, slipped into being judgmental and critical of others for no reason other than because I was experiencing something negative. When you are experiencing fear of any kind and are afraid of your needs not met, this can happen.

Being positive becomes difficult when you look at life and the people in it as things that affect you, rather than seeing them as people who are just doing the best they can to survive day-to-day.  All people have weaknesses, and from time to time, they are annoying and rub you the wrong way.  One of the biggest challenges in life is accepting these negatives and still supporting and highlighting the positives of every individual in your life. The things that annoy us the most are the weaknesses we see in ourselves. We are maintaining a focus on love, understanding, acceptance, and kindness, which can be a challenge, and the reward in accepting others is a better view of ourselves.

It becomes challenging to do this when an atmosphere of negativity engulfs you, focusing on the negative features of things like judgment, sarcasm, and just being plain mean.  That is when you have to work a bit harder to find the positives.  The best way that I have found is to look for the things that are going right and not worry about what is wrong with the job, community, or each other. Especially each other. 

Find Time For You

No matter how busy you think you are or what others believe you should be doing, it would help if you found time dedicated to yourself.  Scheduling this can be a challenge, but vital to allowing person la growth. Rather than get all wrapped up in the daily chores, problems to be solved, and performance, find time for you. Don’t lose your focus on pure kindness and courtesy; people should show one another each day.

One of my favorite ways to maintain a more positive focus is to spend a little time each day learning something new and digesting that information productively and healthily. You are never too old to learn, and growth is a lifelong process.  Learning about yourself makes you less judgmental of others and keeps the focus where it belongs, on your thoughts and ideas. Those who don’t find growth are slowly dying. Finding time to think and put your experiences into perspective will allow your life to have a much more significant flavor. Life is continually trying to teach you lessons. Your reflection is their chance to sink in and make an impact.

Focus Your Energy

All experiences are going to change your life in one way or another.  People often choose to let most of what happens to them be negative and spend time trying to overcome whatever life has given them.

focus expandsI think there is a better way, and that is to remove the labels of good or bad that are associated with experiences and label them all “Experiences.”  Changing our perspective can be difficult when things are personal, but in reality, everything that happens is just an experience that brings something to our lives that we apply value to, good or bad.  We choose to smile and take what we can or to frown and feel overwhelmed by things happening to us. We have a choice.

The choices we make in each moment will determine the path of our day, and our days discover the way of our lives. There are many great things in life we all experience each day, from pleasant weather to a good cup of coffee. We need to notice and appreciate them.  Being grateful for the positives in life will always take the focus and power away from the negatives.

What if you decided to accept everything that happens to you as if you chose it? 

What you spend your time and effort focusing on in your life will increase.

“Keep your face to the sunshine, and you cannot see a shadow.” — Helen Keller.

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” — Willie Nelson.

“Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.” — Lyndon B. Johnson.

“In order to carry a positive action, we must develop here a positive vision.” 

 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!!!

6

My Answers for A Stranger

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This week I met a stranger. We talked for 30 minutes or so and then went on with life. In the course of that conversation I was asked a few questions I have thought a lot about. I think you might benefit from thinking about them too.  They came from the heart of young thought and made me look at life and what is important.Each question was really asking about my basic fundamental attitude about life and the belief I have about the goodness of things.  Life has a way of teaching you what you need to know in order to achieve all of those dreams you have circulating around in your head. We ask for many things in life, and often we don’t see the guidance that comes to us because it is not written in clear English.  Guidance comes in experience, feelings and in people you meet every day.  Indulge my answers for a stranger.   Maybe you can take something from it. Maybe you can’t but let’s give it a try.

How do you make life good?

When life happens, we naturally evaluate every experience. We rate it as good, bad, excellent, horrible or anywhere in between. The fact is the things that happen are just things and we assign the value to them. So making life good is a choice of how you look at things. Things are going to happen which are painful, people die, relationships end, injuries and accidents occur every day. It would be difficult to assign a good label to any of these things but if you look at things from a broad perspective and see what comes out of them there is almost always something positive.  It is the stories we end up telling ourselves about the situation that brings the value.

What lessons did you learn? What can you be grateful for? If you lost a loved one, be grateful for the time you had together and the things you experienced.  If a relationship ends, seek the message it is teaching you about what you need to do better in the next relationship. Life always brings challenges because that is its job. To push you and prod you into becoming better. When you ask for things in your life, often times some of the biggest challenges we face drive us in the direction we need to go. We make life good by enjoying the small things along the way that provide joy. There are things every day which do this.  Look for them and appreciate them. Life will be just as good as you decide it should be.

How do you start again when a dream is lost?

When is a dream really lost? Sometimes you will have to start over in order to get where you want to go.  For example, a person had a scholarship to a prestigious college. Due to several poor decisions the scholarship was removed and the dream of attending that fine institution was removed as well.  One could look at the opportunity gone and cry over it. But there are two reasons this will do no good. One, no matter what you did or what happened you can’t travel back in time. And two, if you could have done better in those moments, you would have.

Let those experiences of failures, poor behaviors, and disappointments of the past stay right where they are because the only way they can affect you fully today is if you decide to let them define you.  Others will think what they will and we all have to bear the responsibility for all things in our lives, but to relive the mistake, over and over is going to stop you from finding and achieving the next dream.  More than likely the lessons you learned will allow you to achieve great things in life.  Stop dwelling on what is gone and focus on what is ahead while enjoying the life you have right now. New dreams will arrive in your mind, drams afe what makes life great.

Is life always this hard?

Sometimes it seems like life is a very difficult experience. When you experience loss and you suffer, it can be a very hard thing to deal with. When a person allows their focus to be on one particular thing, it can be devastating when that is taken away.  Life is as hard as you make it and usually it is what you believe about yourself and how you do life.  Take a moment and look for the good around you in any situation. I don’t say this is easy because sometimes when you are hurting  it is hard to see or feel your way around it.  But there is always good sitting there waiting for you to notice it. Nobody can force you to do this only you can make that decision.

Once you have made the choice to stop feeling sorry for yourself and accept responsibility for whatever you are facing, you will start to grow from your situation and understand there will be other battles to fight, challenges to face and joys will find you.  Understanding that life is a long play and not a quick hit wonder will give you the perspective to see the hard isn’t permanent. It may not even exist at all unless you choose to allow it.  Life is not always hard, it provides all of the joy, positivity and kindness you can handle. You have to be willing to look for it and see it. Have you looked for it today?

So as I walked away from that stranger that day, I started to look at my own life and some of the people that are a big influence on it. I am not perfect and allow myself to drift into negativity some times, but there are many dreams I am still chasing on the personal and professional front.  I have experienced some disappointments but I try not to let them affect me all that negatively, and I know that just as the sun goes down every night allowing a chance to rest and rejuvenate.  The sun will rise again in the morning and the new day will bring its opportunities for accomplishment. You can’t grab new experiences if your hands are grasping tightly to the past and it is gone.  Look at your opportunities to follow your dreams in the actions of your day.  Keep a positive frame of mind and look to your personal beliefs about what you can do and expect in life. Each day is a chance to build a dream or tear one down.