Tag Archives: What defines you

21

How You Treat Others Defines You

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I am as hard on myself as I am on anyone I know when it comes to this statement.  How you treat others defines you. I know because this is an area I have fallen short of many times in my life. I know I haven’t always been the best person when it comes to my treatment of other people.  I have a long list of situations where I have not treated others as well as they deserve or been the kind of person I would have liked to be.  That is why it is always so hard to see people you care about fall into the same selfish traps in the way they treat others in their life.  It takes so little to be decent in the world, and I guess sometimes that price is just too much for some to pay.  I try to adopt the hope in each new day that I will be able, at this moment, at least, to treat others with kindness, caring, empathy, understanding, and consideration. That is my hope.

Only In Control Of Me

The only thing in the world we are indeed in charge of entirely is how we control ourselves. Life can and will throw all kinds of situations at you, and it is up to you how you respond. Do you quit? Become disillusioned?  Respond with anger toward those who care about you? Blame everything and everyone else? Accept responsibility for ourselves and our situations?  The only honorable way to go is to accept responsibility for where you are right now.  Because you are the person who decides what thoughts are essential to you, and those thoughts will create the world around you.

You are the only one who can control the tenor of the thoughts you focus on. Where focus goes, energy flows. If you spend your time thinking only of yourself, you will be stuck in a cycle of selfishness with no real opportunity for growth because growth comes from the things you do for and share with others. The positive or negative actions we take in our lives each day will determine how our lives grow.  This idea is particularly true in our spirituality.  It is our responsibility to look for ways to improve as people in our life.  Regardless of the circumstances we face, we choose the impact our lives have on the people around us and us. Positive or negative, this is our choice, every second of every day.  You are the only one who can control you.

Noone Left to Blame

Today, our lives are the sole responsibility because we are the creators of the thoughts behind them. You can try to blame circumstances, other people, or just bad or good luck, but whatever experiences you have resulted from your choices and actions you have taken. If you have mistreated people, you can’t be surprised when you are treated poorly by someone else.   Too often, I have blamed others for the outcomes in my life that didn’t live up to my expectations.

I would have better spent my time accepting my thoughts, words, and actions and realizing that I needed to change my ways to bring different outcomes into my life. If I was going to be selfish and self-centered and only worried about how things would affect me, then I can’t be surprised when opportunities in life that rely on others pass me by.  Our lives are a direct reflection of what we think and what we do. There is no more significant measure of what we are as people than the shape of our lives right now.

Your Qualities Define You

Finally, when looking at your definition. What are the words you would like to have associated with yourself? Honestly, look at the way you treat others, and you will find the meaning of yourself. I know many people who would shy away from some of their adjectives, although they belong to the things they say and do. You can’t be mean to someone in one breath and then claim kindness in a general sense. Service is an attribute that accompanies you all the time, or it doesn’t at all. Mean and insensitive behavior can’t be erased by wishful thinking.

But it can be undone by a change in thought and recognizing our responsibility for our actions. Each day we have a chance to represent ourselves with behaviors we stand behind and envision as beacons of our best selves.  Falling for a time doesn’t define your life; it only establishes that part of your life. No story is over until the last page turns, and the best stories are always about redemption and comebacks.  You have to ask yourself, can I change? From negative to positive? Lousy behavior to good behavior? Unhealthy to healthy? Or whatever challenge you are facing because the only person who can choose what defines you is you.

“Our past may shape us, but it doesn’t define us.” ― Alyson Noel

“We cannot let the haters of this world define us. Or frighten us into no longer being ourselves.” ― Mary E. DeMuth

“Strong people define themselves; weak people allow others to define them.” ― Ken Poirot

“Define yourself—not by how much you are loved, but by how much you love others.” ― Connor Chalfant

“Never defend yourself, but define yourself with your imagination and actions.”― Debasish Mridha M.D.

 

 

21

Contrast

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You can hide the true emotion behind the Black and White. Happy or sad or both?

It would be nice if life were a series of clear, clean, and easy choices.  That all decisions fell in the clear understanding of this side or that. Where my choices were simplified to the very essence of black and white with no other variance or color to consider, as much as I see the value of these two choices, I know there are many different hues and shades out there and all sorts of gray that exist along the lines of even the seemingly most simple choices.  Still, it is a positive thing to see, understand and appreciate the contrast these two colors bring to life make each better.  Black and white have both symbolic and real influences on thought and art. Allowing something to be highlighted, enjoyed, understood, and allow our ideas to be shared with the world.  When you look at the simplicity of the black and white world, it is a very complex thing.

Not Colors At All

When you use black and white, they officially are not colors, which eliminates any of the emotion that comes with color.  This lack of emotion is comforting to others, and it explains the beauty of the image of black and white.  Black absorbs all other colors.  I look inside myself and see the black can cover everything, never allowing anything else to have a realistic opportunity to affect my life positively. The

This flock is flying, but what type of bird it is can’t clearly be known; it is no bird and all birds simultaneously.

Bright thoughts and actions I could take will be swallowed up by the dark and leave no expression other than that.

The white is an absence of color.  It makes your life bland, never allowing any other colors to appear because they would define you and express yourself clearly so all could see who you are and what you stand for.  This is an uncomfortable place because you lose your sense of self when all of your thoughts, emotions, and activities are clear for the world to see. It is an uncomfortable feeling to have yourself thrown open wide to the world, and there is no place to hide, no retreat from the field of white. We all need a piece of ourselves to stay ours and ours alone.

The Dance of Contrast

Only through the cooperation of the black and white inside of us can we comfortably display our inner selves to the world.  There is safety that exists inside this contrast.  Lines are clear and allow subtle lines to stand out and scream their expressions loudly. There is a comfort in this too many because there is a clear

Finding our own balance in this dance is difficult sometimes.

statement about what something means if you look closely, but there is still an absence of color and something with the power to absorb all color right in front of you.  These forces working together provide a pallet that can still have thoughts and emotions clearly on display and keep them hidden in plain sight.

This dance of contrast provides some with the freedom to live their lives but never have to admit the colors inside, and there is still plausible deniability.  Those who can create this dance are amazing as you look at the images and see the lines between black and white. On the surface, it seems a simple contrast that allows the best of each part of the image to show through clearly. But that is only on a quick look. Take a little longer to look, and you see that those lines between the two are not as clear as you would believe.  The contact of white and black creates a grey, and it is in the grey we are all defined.

Definitions of Ourselves

The battle of black and white takes place within each of us. Nobody is completely “good” or “bad,” for lack of better words.  We are all capable of great good and positive things with an equal ability to crate pain and to create havoc in our lives and the lives of others.  It is the basic struggle of humanity to allow the best parts of

Know your dark side

us to shine and bring brightness to the world, but the good would have no real meaning without the darkness. Because the struggle between the two provides the value of whatever results.

To those who never contemplate the black inside, placing it in clear contrast to the white, there is no real understanding of who you are and what will make you happy, and the reasons for this happiness.  If you have never seen your dark side, you will never know what you have had to overcome. Also, there is a lack of empathy for others who lost their battle with the darkness.  I have learned that no matter how dark, there is still a light existing with a desire to rise back to the surface.  Sometimes all people need is an opportunity to do the right thing to redeem themselves. It is always in the gray areas where our character is truly defined and revealed to the world.

Seeking Color

I am consciously trying to put the darkness of my thoughts and feelings forward because they are a part of me, just as yours are a part of you. But in looking at them and embracing them, I can put them behind me and take strength from them and propel my inner goodness to the front.  The contrast between black and white allows this to happen.  Through this process, all the other colors of life are allowed to rise to the surface of my existence. The reds, blues, greens, and yellows of life are then able to show their face to me, and through them comes the hope of all things.  Love, kindness, joy, fulfillment, understanding, caring all come through these colors and are valued because of the contrast from their opposite. It is all a choice for each individual to make each day. Do we move toward the white, the black, or the grey in between? That is your battle in all of your days in the world of your thoughts and your art.

  • “I’ve been forty years discovering that the queen of all colors is black.” – Henri Mattise.
  • “I think it’s because it was an emotional story, and emotions come through much stronger in black and white. Color is distracting in a way, it pleases the eye, but it doesn’t necessarily reach the heart.” – Kim Hunter.
  • “When you photograph people in color, you photograph their clothes. But when you photograph people in Black and white, you photograph their souls!”― Ted Grant.
  • “Black and white are the colors of photography. To me, they symbolize the alternatives of hope and despair to which humanity is forever subjected” – Robert Frank.
  • “What I love about Black & White photographs is that they’re more like reading the book than seeing the movie” – Jennifer Price.

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