Tag Archives: your actions define you

21

Your True Measure

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Your actions define you to the world

It is natural for an individual to look at the world from the inside out. The only perspective we have had our whole life is from our own mind’s eye. Often we develop a significant concern for how others treat us in the world. The fear seeps into every interaction we have and pulls us into a more selfish existence, worrying about how people manage us? What is in this for me? What about me? Worrying about how others treat you is a narrow perspective and will limit what you can give to the world. It is far better to build a concern with how you are treating others in your life and the world around you. Being a positive force in the world involves doing positive things for people and encouraging others to be the best versions of themselves possible. It all begins with a conscious awareness of the thoughts you entertain each day—the words these thoughts lead you to utter to the world. And, of course, the actions you take display what your base thoughts are to the world. You will define yourself in thought, word, and work.

Building Your Definition

The job of our mind is to interpret the world we live in. Let’s face it; our brain tells all stories from our perspective. If there is a conflict, of course, the other party is unreasonable and demanding. We are always in the right to us. But are we? How you choose to treat others is a clear picture of who you are, and there is no hiding from it. If you spend your time judging others, then you are judgmental. If you gossip and spread rumors about others, those whispers behind people’s backs show who you are.

Conversely, your choices to be kind, accepting, and caring about the lives of others also define you. Your focus is the key to identifying you in the world. Not what you think you are, but what you are to the world. It is easy to dehumanize someone when you think of them in abstract terms, like demographics, heritage, or ethnicity. All stereotypes dehumanize people and, by your thought, degrade you. How you choose to treat the people who bother you most tells the most about you. We all make a choice each day to do these things.

Being Empathetic to Others

Our ability to practice empathy is one of the tools we have to maintain our humanity in life. Using our minds to project ourselves into another person’s situation allows us to walk around in their shoes. Once you indeed do this, you are much less likely to be harsh in your treatment of them. Understanding how someone else lives and why they do what they do doesn’t excuse poor behavior, but it can allow you to follow somebody. If you were placed in a different set of circumstances, then you might be making the same choices. Bad as they might be.

One action you can take is to be aware of other people and how your work will affect them. At least in a way that shows an awareness of the needs of another person. All people are living a story, and each one is different. You would be a modified version of yourself if you experienced an unusual childhood, growth experience, and moral influences. That is what other people are, a modified version of you. Treat them as such. Understanding, kindness, and acceptance are universally helpful, and treating people this way brings more of these things into your life.

Three Skills to Develop for Treating People well

First, learn to be an active and present listener. When someone is speaking to you, be present. Don’t let your mind wander into what you are doing tomorrow or think about the past. Focus and be there for whoever is speaking. Listening shows caring, respect and allows a person to know that they have an outlet for their thoughts. Be curious, ask questions, and let another speak.

Secondly, when you do speak, be honest in all you say. That is a simple thing but shows people that they can trust you. All of our words should have the stamp of truth on them and allow for confidence with all of those who are listening. Speak honestly and expect the same in return.

Thirdly, in all of our actions, we focus on operating with integrity. Integrity is doing the right things, even if you are the only one who knows it. Treating others with integrity makes all interactions honest and opportunities for growth. You will also be setting an example for all others to follow in their way.

Be Kind

Finally, If there is one thing to focus on in all kinds of relationships, practice kindness in your interactions with everyone. Your heart belongs to you, regardless of how someone else acts; being kind is your choice. Suppose someone else needs compassion to give it. If you don’t think they need it, give it anyways. Consideration is a gift you give to the world that it needs. How you treat others defines you and will determine your impact on the planet.

It will all begin with the primary thoughts you have in your head. The ones you choose to entertain will get the focus in your life. If you are worried about yourself, it will show in all that you do. If you are thinking about others, and their well-being, then that will show too. Also, the words you speak to others and about others will define you. Speak as if your words had magic in them because they do. Finally, your actions will be a clear picture of the world of the way you think and how you feel about things that are happening all around in everyday life. Focus on defining your contribution to the world as a positive one. Your Actions define you.

“Stop worrying yourself with how others are treating you. Just be concerned with how you are treating others.”

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”- Wayne Dyer

“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people – your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.”- Barbara Bush

 

21

Believe It

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Creating a shortlist of beliefs on which I think my life is hopefully based is a difficult task but one I am continually polishing and evaluating as life teaches me the lessons I need to learn.  People come into your life, situations change, we learn, we lose, we grow, and the lessons are what we are left with and the beliefs are the constants that strain out of the mess that is left of our lives after all experiences happen. So this product is ever-evolving, and I am editing it as I see fit, but I stick with what I say at this moment.  At least for today, until they have been proven false tomorrow, and then I will adjust.

All People are Connected

Call it God, the Universe, or whatever your religion dictates, but we are all connected through a divine order to me.  All people are fundamentally the same and contain the same abilities for great good and equal power to commit great evil.  That is just a part of this crazy game called life. Just as everyone is the same, each person is a unique creation as well. There has never been another person exactly like you, and there will never be another one again. There is something extraordinary about that.  We are all bound together in the experience of life and the story evolving out of it.

All of us have a connection on the soul level.  The human ego has been developed to make us feel like we are all alone and isolated. But the truth is that it is just an illusion and breaking that can change your life.  When people look to their similarities, and away from what separates them, anything is possible.  We are all connected, and that should be the hope of your life. When you look at someone else, don’t judge anyone too harshly.  You are only a few circumstances away from being the same.

Your Actions Define Who YOU Are

Talk is cheap. What you do is the definition of your character.  I have heard the soft and sympathetic words that were worth absolutely nothing but have been blessed by the actions of many great people.  Saying you are something means nothing. Being that thing means everything.  Each day all people are faced with a large number of choices, be positive or negative. Loving or fearful. Kind or judgmental. Etc. It is these choices that lead to action and define us to the world. Make your choices carefully.

How do you want to be seen in the world?  Think about that when you make a thousand decisions making up your day.  I have heard people speak about the virtues of kindness globally and then treat people in their day-to-day life in a very mean and judgmental fashion.  What type of person are they? Kind or mean? Words say kind things, but actions are callous and cold to human understanding. Your actions are mean, selfish, and insensitive, then that is what you are.  The good news is anyone can change at any moment and become a better version of themselves. Let your actions be a ringing endorsement of your character, not a condemnation.

Thinking Positively Leads to Positive Results

Bad stuff happens to everyone at some point in life. How you deal with it is essential to the quality of your life and those around you.  Life is full of things that you define subjectively as good or bad. Our attitude about these events is what will determine our lives.  Look at the good in all situations.  You may not be able to see it at first but ask yourself, “How can this make me better?” or “What is this situation trying to teach me?”  The truth is no situation is positive or negative. There is a little of both in everything.  It is up to you to find it.  How well you make these choices defined how happy you are in life.

Defining things as positives allows you to enjoy life more, be healthier, and support those you love. At the same time, negative thinking is defeatist and will supply you with the exact opposite. As I mentioned above, you choose every day to be positive or negative in this world.  Positive thinking will lead to positive results in your life. How much positivism do you prefer?

All People Have Value

This is difficult to remember sometimes when I am angry or someone has hurt me, but that doesn’t change the fact that I believe this is true.  People live differently, make poor decisions, and look differently, but inside they all have value.   All that separates any of us from the circumstances of another is mere chance.  At our core, we are all beings of love. Therefore, understand and giving love is the most important thing.

Every person is a teacher and a learner. You can learn something from everyone. A valuable lesson can come from a simple conversation or just in observation of someone living their life. I don’t look in judgment but in understanding and appreciation of what their experience brings. For example, Victor Frankel was a Holocaust survivor who didn’t let the worst experience of his life dim his hope for humanity. I take that lesson and apply it to my life all the time. If he could remain positive, what excuse do I have to feel bad?  We can learn those lessons from all sorts of people every day.

Action Is Mandatory for Success

Every person that has ever been born has had a dream of some kind. There are no exceptions.  When a person takes action, they can make their dream come true.  Even if that action doesn’t work out, then you have gained valuable information that you can use to try again. Many people carry a lot of fear around inside them, of many different things.  Action kills fear because it removes all doubt. Either something is going to work, or it isn’t. There is no need to worry or fret because you have all the information right in front of you. Taking action is the reality check and a powerful ally to all people. Take action and see what you can accomplish in your life today.

Start your business, ask for the date, apply for the job, say what you mean. All of your actions will lead to repercussions for which you will be responsible, but that is a great way to live life. Embrace all of the ripples of your existence and never apologize for them. If you are honest and trustworthy and explain why you did what you did to those who matter, you have nothing to be ashamed of or worried about.  Let your action do the talking, and it will create a life of consequence.

Forgiveness is Necessary

To forgive someone for something they did that harmed you is very difficult. It can’t just be lip service of saying that they are forgiven. It has to be inside your heart.  The only one who can give forgiveness is you, and the sooner you give it, the sooner you can move on.  Letting go of pain, sadness, anger, or any other negative emotion is key to enjoying life.   I read somewhere that you know that someone is forgiven when you think of them, and there is no subtle searing inside your heart.

It can take a conscious effort, but with forgiveness comes freedom, strength, and love. Choices that are made from love are generally good choices. To hold on to anger or pain is to give power to someone else over your life, and clearly, they don’t deserve to be a part of your life if they hurt you or treated you with disregard. Forgive them and learn never to treat anyone inadequately again.  Let your ripples be of kindness and joy.  Forgive everyone, including yourself, and move forward with the best intentions to be the best version of yourself possible.

Embrace Love, Avoid Fear

All people carry this inside of them, and the one you pay attention to will determine how much you enjoy this ride we call life.  Focus on the love-based emotions like kindness, understanding, generosity, acceptance, patience, and love while avoiding the fear-based feelings and thoughts of anger, hate, separation, jealousy, stereotyping, and judgment. It can be harder to do than it sounds, but the effort is well worth it. Love is a powerful way to think that will allow you to become the best version of yourself spiritually, physically, and mentally. Love leads to kindness and personal growth. Fear is the opposite of love, and it will lead to isolation and a negative life experience. Not many people are happy with their fear-based thoughts, and living through love makes it impossible not to be satisfied.

There it is, some simple things to help you think about ways to move better through your day and your life.  The song below is one of my all-time favorites; it reminds me of how life changes and moves. We do move like water, and you never know when life will end, and all we have is this moment.  Love much and believe in yourself ultimately!! Be the most extraordinary person you can be, and make sure your beliefs allow you to shine fully.